# Ronnie Barker - the story of Rindercella



## T.F. (Aug 28, 2008)

*This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this �without a snigger (though god knows how many takes). �� Irony is that they �received not one complaint. *

*
*

*
The speed of delivery must have been too much �for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the �spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read ..����� *

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.

Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and

shivelling shot.

At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.

The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge,

and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible

huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had

tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let

Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.

Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She

turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six

dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks.

The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise,

there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when

suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said

Rindercella, and she ran out tripping b**** over ollocks, so dropping

her slassglipper.

The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and

the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg

and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.

"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking

brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slassglipper on both the sugly

isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a

knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge

halls and a hig bard on.

He tried the slassglipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking

ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince

lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a

follen swanny.


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## Nitrolen (Jun 7, 2009)

Is this meant to be funny - why all the little boxes?


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## frowningbudda (Dec 16, 2008)

PMSL

reps matey, Ronnie Barker - Legand im sure ive seen this, may have to youtube it...


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## Greyphantom (Oct 23, 2003)

Absolute class...!


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## El Ricardinho (May 30, 2008)

the two ronnies are british legends of comedy. nice 1.


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## El Ricardinho (May 30, 2008)

Nitrolen said:


> Is this meant to be funny - why all the little boxes?


think it would be best if you didnt comment on this thread tbh. you seem to have quite the attitude towards t.f


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## TaintedSoul (May 16, 2007)

Yes I remember these. They sound really good if you hear it fom someone who reads it as it is without converting.

Not to step on your toes T.F. but here's a more readable version:

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.

Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and

shivelling shot.

At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.

The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge,

and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible

huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had

tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let

Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.

Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She

turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six

dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks.

The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise,

there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when

suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said

Rindercella, and she ran out tripping b**** over ollocks, so dropping

her slassglipper.

The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and

the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg

and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.

"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking

brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slassglipper on both the sugly

isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a

knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge

halls and a hig bard on.

He tried the slassglipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking

ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince

lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a

follen swanny.


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## T.F. (Aug 28, 2008)

TaintedSoul said:


> Yes I remember these. They sound really good if you hear it fom someone who reads it as it is without converting.
> 
> Not to step on your toes T.F. but here's a more readable version:


Cheers mate, mine was from an email and even when i pasted it into Word it still had all those boxes and i just couldn't be bothered to correct it all. Going to paste yours over mine now.

:thumbup1:


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## hamsternuts (Feb 8, 2009)

wicked stuff


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## frowningbudda (Dec 16, 2008)

Its only an audio file but PMSL


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## cellaratt (Jul 16, 2008)

Nitrolen said:


> Is this meant to be funny - why all the little boxes?


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## Nitrolen (Jun 7, 2009)

cellaratt said:


>


Want me to stalk you do ya:lol:


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## cellaratt (Jul 16, 2008)

Nitrolen said:


> Want me to stalk you do ya:lol:


you can try...


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## Rosko (Oct 15, 2007)

He's class. Was a real master of the English language!

[MEDIA=youtube]LaUuIJpOzAA[/MEDIA]


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