# You’re in the club and this guy slaps your girlfriend’s arse. What do you do?



## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)




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## S123 (Jun 14, 2013)

Laugh


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## BLUE(UK) (Jan 9, 2008)

Lol, I had my answer ready before opening the thread!!


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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)

Let my missus one bomb him then send him home to his mums house to change those socks.


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

Oioi said:


> Send him home to his mums house to change those socks.


 Bet those socks have been used as a jizz rag so many times they've become starched.


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## ILLBehaviour (Dec 20, 2014)

Oioi said:


> Let my missus one bomb him then send him home to his mums house to change those socks.


 I doubt his mum/carer lets him out after dark.


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## Haunted_Sausage (Jan 2, 2015)

DLTBB said:


> View attachment 162371


 He needs to lay off the gear for the sake of his hairline! Looks like it's stunted his growth aswell, that or his house has abnormally large doors


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

Haunted_Sausage said:


> He needs to lay off the gear for the sake of his hairline! Looks like it's stunted his growth aswell, that or his house has abnormally large doors


 Freaks don't care about their hairlines baby. If anything I'd say double the dose and aim for 15 inch arms before the end of the year.


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## NoGutsNoGloryy (Jan 7, 2013)

I'd ask him why he tried to wax his chest


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## Haunted_Sausage (Jan 2, 2015)

DLTBB said:


> Freaks don't care about their hairlines baby. If anything I'd say double the dose and aim for 15 inch arms before the end of the year.


 Let's aim for a goal more 'realistic' like,

'aim for changing those socks before the end of the year'


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## Jonk891 (Dec 17, 2016)

Ask him if he can bench 140kg


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## jake87 (May 7, 2010)

Not see him


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## Jonk891 (Dec 17, 2016)

I'd slap his ass


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

Haunted_Sausage said:


> Let's aim for a goal more 'realistic' like,
> 
> 'aim for changing those socks before the end of the year'


 With some luck he'll sell a couple of KEK hoodies and be able to afford a box of Vanish and make them white again.


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

DLTBB said:


> With some luck he'll sell a couple of KEK hoodies and be able to afford a bottle of Vanish and drink it.


 Fixed

Pat him on his baldy slap head and ask if he's alright down there...He would reply ... Will you go to the bar for me Mr I cant reach...


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

The-Real-Deal said:


> Fixed
> 
> Pat him on his baldy slap head and ask if he's alright down there...He would reply ... Will you go to the bar for me Mr I cant reach...


 Rubbing a bald patch apparently brings good luck too so it might help you achieve your 140KG bench.


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

DLTBB said:


> Rubbing a bald patch apparently brings good luck too so it might help you achieve your 140KG bench.


 Been there done that matey..Keep up... Seems like the ****tardness of that avi is rubbing off on you.


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

The-Real-Deal said:


> Been there done that matey..Keep up... Seems like the ****tardness of that avi is rubbing off on you.


 I'm only playing with you, you absolute mountain of a man.


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## D 4 Damage (Dec 14, 2017)

DLTBB said:


> View attachment 162371


 Haha Thought it was gunna be some 6'5 absolute monster!


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## CG88 (Jun 4, 2015)

I'd prepare for physical battle, lift heavy weights then challenge him to a meme war


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

D 4 Damage said:


> Haha Thought it was gunna be some 6'5 absolute monster!


 Don't underestimate the power of our grace and saviour, Lord Kek.


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

DLTBB said:


> I'm only playing with you, you absolute mountain of a man.


 and i'm not even hard .... :huh:

lol


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)




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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)

CG88 said:


> I'd prepare for physical battle, lift heavy weights then challenge him to a meme war
> 
> View attachment 162377


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## RexEverthing (Apr 4, 2014)

Thank him for voting "yes" for Brexit and let him crack on to her like the leftist cuck that I am.


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

Me and @GCMAX are away for a pint who's coming


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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)




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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Heavyassweights said:


> Me and @GCMAX are away for a pint who's coming


 @sjacks will go :thumb


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

Heavyassweights said:


> Me and @GCMAX are away for a pint who's coming


 Fluke 82.


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

If @sjacks killed himself would it be classed as suicide or murder as he would be killing @GCMAX .... :confused1:


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## CG88 (Jun 4, 2015)

Oioi said:


> View attachment 162381


 At least not until they've prepared for physical battle :lol:


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## RexEverthing (Apr 4, 2014)

DLTBB said:


> Fluke 82.


 Is Simon88 popping along?


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

RexEverthing said:


> Is Simon88 popping along?


 If they do a pint of ale that fits his macros.


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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)




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## nWo (Mar 25, 2014)

Joke's on him, I haven't got a GF so it must have been someone else's :thumb


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

nWo said:


> Joke's on him, I haven't got a GF so it must have been someone else's :thumb


 frandy will be your gf?

Donyou enjoy long walks ?


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## nWo (Mar 25, 2014)

Heavyassweights said:


> frandy will be your gf?
> 
> Donyou enjoy long walks ?


 I had a Spanish GF before, fu**ing nutter mate, never again.


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## sjacks (Dec 10, 2017)

DLTBB said:


> View attachment 162371


 Seriously m8, you are one butt hurt little bitch. They must have really treated you rough in prison!! :lol: I bet it was the black guys who gang raped you


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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)




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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

sjacks said:


> Seriously m8, you are one butt hurt little bitch. They must have really treated you rough in prison!! :lol: I bet it was the black guys who gang raped you
> 
> View attachment 162387


 You didn't answer the question mate. What would you do if that absolute unit slapped your bird's arse in the mix?


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## Lifesizepenguin (Jul 25, 2016)

what a lad. a true unit.


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## Pancake' (Aug 30, 2012)




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## sjacks (Dec 10, 2017)

DLTBB said:


> In the mix?


 All that jail multiculturalism you got has affected your ability to communicate in English.


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

Sjacks in the hizzle, everyone run for cover


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

sjacks said:


> All that jail multiculturalism you got has affected your ability to communicate in English.


 Go on. You're in a swanky bar with your Mrs and that absolute tank bowls over to you wearing a limited edition KEK series hoodie with beams of light reflecting of his bald spot and asks your Mrs for her number. What do you do?


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## nWo (Mar 25, 2014)




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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)

DLTBB said:


> Go on. You're in a swanky bar with your Mrs and that absolute tank bowls over to you wearing a limited edition KEK series hoodie with beams of light reflecting of his bald spot and asks your Mrs for her number. What do you do?


 Swanky? Change that to spoons....


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## sjacks (Dec 10, 2017)

DLTBB said:


> Go on. You're in a swanky bar with your Mrs and that absolute tank bowls over to you wearing a limited edition KEK series hoodie with beams of light reflecting of his bald spot and asks your Mrs for her number. What do you do?


 You went off like a rocket as soon as I mentioned you getting gang raped in prison. Did you have to pay for counseling or did the government provide it for free? :lol:


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

sjacks said:


> You went off like a rocket as soon as I mentioned you getting gang raped in prison. Did you have to pay for counseling or did the government provide it for free? :lol:


 Why would you need counselling for something you enjoy?


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## Pancake' (Aug 30, 2012)




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## sjacks (Dec 10, 2017)

DLTBB said:


> Why would you need counselling for something you enjoy?


 I've never heard of prisoners who got raped saying it was pleasurable, usually they commit suicide which is why I asked you if you had counseling after your harrowing ordeal


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## ILLBehaviour (Dec 20, 2014)

sjacks said:


> I've never heard of prisoners who got raped saying it was pleasurable, usually they commit suicide which is why I asked you if you had counseling after your harrowing ordeal


 You still claiming to be a counsellor for ukip ? :lol:


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## Ares (Dec 3, 2015)




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## 66983 (May 30, 2016)

New product just launched.


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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)




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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)

@sjacks r u also known as uncle Dave?

@LeeDaLifter


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## Fina (Dec 26, 2004)

trey1 said:


> @sjacks r u also known as uncle Dave?
> 
> @LeeDaLifter


 Crying, the hair modification is fu**ing brilliant!


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## Cypionate (Jan 17, 2016)




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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)

Fina said:


> Crying, the hair modification is fu**ing brilliant!


 hes a horny little slap head lol


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

Cypionate said:


>


 Give his buff version a proper hairline too rather than that barm cake head and he'll be set.


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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)




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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)




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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)




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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)

I bet natty Steve is just glad to be out of the firing line for a week or so.


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## ILLBehaviour (Dec 20, 2014)

haha, this threads killing me


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Oioi said:


> I bet natty Steve is just glad to be out of the firing line for a week or so.


 Did you stop that pig in the passage mate?


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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)

The-Real-Deal said:


> Did you stop that pig in the passage mate?


 Not quite, kinda hard with lube allover my hands tbh, had to settle for 110kg x20 squat instead.


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Oioi said:


> Not quite, kinda hard with lube allover my hands tbh, had to settle for 110kg x20 squat instead.


 Warm up?


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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)

The-Real-Deal said:


> Warm up?


 It was a finisher to 135x5x5


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Oioi said:


> It was a finisher to 135x5x5


 I bench more than your squat.


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## Fina (Dec 26, 2004)

The-Real-Deal said:


> I bench more than your squat.


 What's your bench then?


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## simonboyle (Aug 5, 2013)

sjacks said:


> Seriously m8, you are one butt hurt little bitch. They must have really treated you rough in prison!! :lol: I bet it was the black guys who gang raped you
> 
> View attachment 162387


 You seem.to have an obsession with skin colour.

Give it a by.

No place for racism here.


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## simonboyle (Aug 5, 2013)

But apart from that, this thread is comedy gold!


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Fina said:


> What's your bench then?


 More than 135 x5 x5


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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)

The-Real-Deal said:


> I bench more than your squat.


 Your also a fat shyte Steve but hey ho


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## Ares (Dec 3, 2015)

View attachment 162421


nice pussy


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Oioi said:


> Your also a fat shyte Steve but hey ho


 You forgot old...Which make you look even worse :lol: ..

I bench more than your bow legged squat lol :lol:


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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)

The-Real-Deal said:


> You forgot old...Which make you look even worse :lol: ..
> 
> I bench more than your bow legged squat lol :lol:


 Doesn't make me look anything you wally.

Back to your hack squat fatty.


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## Cypionate (Jan 17, 2016)

DLTBB said:


> Give his buff version a proper hairline too rather than that barm cake head and he'll be set.


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## Cypionate (Jan 17, 2016)




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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)




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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)

Cypionate said:


>


 Awesome


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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)




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## sjacks (Dec 10, 2017)

Well done guys, amazing stuff... due to the extreme levels of maturity and targeted talk on body building this forum is going places, this kind of place...


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## EpicSquats (Mar 29, 2014)

sjacks said:


> Well done guys, amazing stuff... due to the extreme levels of maturity and targeted talk on body building this forum is going places, this kind of place...
> 
> View attachment 162425


 Same place your T-shirt business is going you mean?


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## Pancake' (Aug 30, 2012)

sjacks said:


> Well done guys, amazing stuff... due to the extreme levels of maturity and targeted talk on body building this forum is going places, this kind of place...
> 
> View attachment 162425


 That's where your hairline is bro.


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Oioi said:


> Doesn't make me look anything you wally.
> 
> Back to your hack squat fatty.


 Lol... listen to pig in a passage... !

Let's just say I bb squat quite a bit more than I bench..


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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)

EpicSquats said:


> Same place your T-shirt business is going you mean?


 If you squint hard enough you can just see Steve's abs in the background.


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## Ares (Dec 3, 2015)




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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)

Ares said:


>


 Multiculturalism at its best


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## Cypionate (Jan 17, 2016)

sjacks said:


> Well done guys, amazing stuff... due to the extreme levels of maturity and targeted talk on body building this forum is going places, this kind of place...
> 
> View attachment 162425


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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)

sjacks said:


> Well done guys, amazing stuff... due to the extreme levels of maturity and targeted talk on body building this forum is going places, this kind of place...
> 
> View attachment 162425


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## Ares (Dec 3, 2015)

trey1 said:


> Multiculturalism at its best


 alt-fit, alt-lifestyle hunni x


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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)

Oioi said:


> View attachment 162423





DLTBB said:


>





Cypionate said:


>


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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)

That cat


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## Haunted_Sausage (Jan 2, 2015)

trey1 said:


> @sjacks r u also known as uncle Dave?
> 
> @LeeDaLifter


 Oh my fu**ing God! @LeeDaLifter get in here!

@trey1 you crack me up!


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## jake87 (May 7, 2010)

Ukm has needed a thread like this for at least 5 years


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## AestheticManlet (Jun 12, 2012)

Brutal thread. Funny though. :lol:


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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)

Haunted_Sausage said:


> Oh my fu**ing God! @LeeDaLifter get in here!
> 
> @trey1 you crack me up!


 Lee come back m8!


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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)

What the actual fuuk. Bravo. Bravo.


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## Haunted_Sausage (Jan 2, 2015)

Oh my god! Seriously! This is too much for me! I'm in fu**ing bits here hahaha

i ducking love UKM


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## Haunted_Sausage (Jan 2, 2015)

This threads up there with leedalifters one where he punched his landlords door through (after a few attempts)

and noaudi


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## thecoms (Nov 1, 2010)

Haunted_Sausage said:


> Oh my fu**ing God! @LeeDaLifter get in here!
> 
> @trey1 you crack me up!


 Funniest by a mile :thumb


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## Lifesizepenguin (Jul 25, 2016)

wow.


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## SwoleTip (Jul 31, 2017)

Laughed so hard at this thread on the way home I'm literally in tears. GOAT thread


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## monkeybiker (Jul 21, 2010)

Oioi said:


> It was a finisher to 135x5x5


 You natty?


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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)

monkeybiker said:


> You natty?


 No, just finished cutting on cruise and weak.


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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)

Set my self up for an edit there but suck a bowl of buttered d1cks haha


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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)

Haunted_Sausage said:


> This threads up there with leedalifters one where he punched his landlords door through (after a few attempts)
> 
> and noaudi


 Never beat lee punching his door and shagging his landlord


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)




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## RexEverthing (Apr 4, 2014)

Genuinely can't stop laughing. You're all a bunch of cvnts :thumbup1:

Top marks to @Ares today! Can't decide if the cat flap or multicultural hug time is my fave.

Bravo sir!


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Ares said:


>


 Looks like @Devil


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

Ares said:


>


 Top marks mate

made me lol harder than the effort frandy put into banging anna


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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)

Bump

@sjacks


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## RexEverthing (Apr 4, 2014)

I' must have missed the part about the cats...?! What's the crack?


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

RexEverthing said:


> I' must have missed the part about the cats...?! What's the crack?


 Feline fiddler and on the feline fiddlers register! :whistling:


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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)

RexEverthing said:


> I' must have missed the part about the cats...?! What's the crack?


 Got done for sexual harassing a woman on a news article about politics or something, told her he would go over and stroke her pussy lol


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## monkeybiker (Jul 21, 2010)

Oioi said:


> No, just finished cutting on cruise and weak.


 Trying to diet a bit myself and hate it. Only on 5th day.

Strength is more my interest but thought I'd try an lean up a bit.


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## RexEverthing (Apr 4, 2014)

trey1 said:


> Got done for sexual harassing a woman on a news article about politics or something, told her he would go over and stroke her pussy lol


 Wow...


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## Ares (Dec 3, 2015)

RexEverthing said:


> Wow...


 Yuh huh. Then came on here to brag about it, haha.


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## Ares (Dec 3, 2015)

The-Real-Deal said:


> Looks like @Devil


 Mate that's well harsh :lol: Devil's a good-looking chap!

 I have a better understanding of why GCKEK is so angry though, I probably would be too


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

Morning fellas. Just cooking breakfast.


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## EpicSquats (Mar 29, 2014)

DLTBB said:


> Morning fellas. Just cooking breakfast.


 Is he selling that apron on his website?


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## Cypionate (Jan 17, 2016)




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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)

In this thread


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

DLTBB said:


> Morning fellas. Just cooking breakfast.


 Looks like @Frandeman only taller...


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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)




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## Frandeman (Mar 24, 2014)

The-Real-Deal said:


> Looks like @Frandeman only taller...


 Shut up you lump

You got tits like a fat woman

And Trex arms

Nothing to brag about


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## anna1 (Mar 22, 2014)

Frandeman said:


> Shut up you lump
> 
> You got tits like a fat woman
> 
> ...


 Aaww Fran de Man is back 

@Heavyassweights was lonely without you lol

x


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Frandeman said:


> Shut up you lump
> 
> You got tits like a fat woman
> 
> ...


 :spammer:

Lol that was soooo 2016 ...

Pleased to see you back posting mate... You been very quiet...You still not my friend?


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## Ares (Dec 3, 2015)

Gents, please! Let's stay on topic here :lol:


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## Pimp (Apr 12, 2018)

Starts thread : This is abit harsh, whats he done so wrong 
Middle thread : Crying with laughter
By end of thread : Funniest fu.ucking thread ever

Well done UKM

Is anyone gonna make t shirts of this thread?


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## Frandeman (Mar 24, 2014)

The-Real-Deal said:


> :spammer:
> 
> Lol that was soooo 2016 ...
> 
> Pleased to see you back posting mate... You been very quiet...You still not my friend?


 20 kg overweight you don't look any better

old age making you delusional


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## Frandeman (Mar 24, 2014)

anna1 said:


> Aaww Fran de Man is back
> 
> @Heavyassweights was lonely without you lol
> 
> x


 Can't compare

We all seen what he looks like


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Frandeman said:


> 20 kg overweight you don't look any better
> 
> old age making you delusional
> 
> View attachment 162471


 Back in top form mate, BUT that meme you have used before. Old boring stuff mate... Must try harder...

We friends now?


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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)

Pimp said:


> Starts thread : This is abit harsh, whats he done so wrong
> Middle thread : Crying with laughter
> By end of thread : Funniest fu.ucking thread ever
> 
> ...











Website looking better alreaduy


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## Ares (Dec 3, 2015)




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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

Ares said:


>


 RIP @sjacks


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## D 4 Damage (Dec 14, 2017)

Cypionate said:


>


 fu**ing laughed out loud! Parrott and bagpipes!!!!


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## Imy79 (Oct 19, 2007)

This thread is so funny!. Put a post up for advice and then don't take constructive criticism :whistling:


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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)

Imy79 said:


> This thread is so funny!. Put a post up for advice and then don't take *constructive criticism* :whistling:


 That's all this thread is m8


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

Ares said:


>


 Jesus.


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## sjacks (Dec 10, 2017)

The many pictures you posted look nothing like me so I don't get the connection. I'm not going anywhere btw so if you really can't stand me, I suggest you leave the site 

Also, one of you trolls opened up a new account here and posted a private message as a veiled threat, my address is visible on my website anyway so I'm not hiding anything but be warned, any damage to my property, unsolicited visits will be dealt with very harshly indeed.

Carry on children.


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## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)

sjacks said:


> The many pictures you posted look nothing like me


 And yet amazingly funny all the same


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## ILLBehaviour (Dec 20, 2014)

Asouf said:


> Thread of the year contender definitely.
> 
> And who the f*** is Leslie?


 Maybe its the guy in the photos, the ones that look exactly like Sjacks but aren't Sjacks.


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## Frandeman (Mar 24, 2014)

The-Real-Deal said:


> Back in top form mate, BUT that meme you have used before. Old boring stuff mate... Must try harder...
> 
> We friends now?


 We friends now

But pls stop sending me pictures mate

Don't like fat blokes ... Even if they pay



View attachment 162515


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## EpicSquats (Mar 29, 2014)

Frandeman said:


> We friends now
> 
> But pls stop sending me pictures mate
> 
> ...


 Defo a photoshop. Stevo's legs are in worse condition.


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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)

EpicSquats said:


> Defo a photoshop. Stevo's legs are in worse condition.


 Could he trap a pig in a passage?


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## Frandeman (Mar 24, 2014)

trey1 said:


> Could he trap a pig in a passage?


 He ate it before picture :thumbup1:


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Frandeman said:


> We friends now


 Ok then I'll stop calling you a skinny lil paper weight...

I see you have supper-imposed a snip from one of my pics onto your mothers body... would bang 100% :thumbup1:


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## Frandeman (Mar 24, 2014)

The-Real-Deal said:


> Ok then I'll stop calling you a skinny lil paper weight...
> 
> I see you have supper-imposed a snip from one of my pics onto your mothers body... would bang 100% :thumbup1:


 Natty and your age??

Don't think so

Only thing you will bang is your head against it


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## Ares (Dec 3, 2015)

I thought a bloke that formed his entire business idea on troll imagery would appreciate some of the high caliber ripping here! You had no problems with signing up to the forum again, masquerading as someone else and having a pop at Stevo! You're even trolling yourself :lol: You've gone from that end of the spectrum to showing you're a badman and confirming your home address on an open forum though, you quite clearly have issues.

We're the children, admittedly. Or ****tards. Or are we cucks? Whichever edgy buzzword you choose to use today. We're definitely the irrational ones, I remember that much. Bottom line is you're totally in the clear and the fact this has happened twice is merely a coincidence and needn't be pondered. It's all good in the hood.

As long as it's a white hood though, obviously.


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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)

Bump


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

Always assumed this had been deleted.


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

:lol: just read this from start to finish again, creased now!


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## CG88 (Jun 4, 2015)

Gary29 said:


> :lol: just read this from start to finish again, creased now!


 Comedy gold :lol:


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## Haunted_Sausage (Jan 2, 2015)

CG88 said:


> Comedy gold :lol:


 Agreed! Absolutely brilliant! But as times gone on it's shown he is not of 'sound mind' it's an awkward position cuz I laugh like fvck but then feel guilty as he's not all there :/


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## philippeb (Aug 21, 2013)

if i ever feel down, i re-read this thread


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## Varg (May 17, 2010)

Heh, looks like I drive very close past sjack's house every day.

Number 30 eh?

Should I pop in for a tea?


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## Haunted_Sausage (Jan 2, 2015)

Varg said:


> Heh, looks like I drive very close past sjack's house every day.
> 
> Number 30 eh?
> 
> Should I pop in for a tea?


 Not if your female, not white or if your vulnerable/ a minor


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## Pimp (Apr 12, 2018)

Ares said:


>


 :lol:


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## sjacks (Dec 10, 2017)

@Pscarb This thread needs locking, preferably deleting.


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## Haunted_Sausage (Jan 2, 2015)

sjacks said:


> @Pscarb This thread needs locking, preferably deleting.


 What gives you the authority to have a thread deleted?


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## ILLBehaviour (Dec 20, 2014)

Haunted_Sausage said:


> What gives you the authority to have a thread deleted?


 dont know why hes getting involved mate, guy in the photos is gcmax.


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## sjacks (Dec 10, 2017)

Haunted_Sausage said:


> What gives you the authority to have a thread deleted?


 What gives you the authority to threaten to burn down a business and then muddy the name of that business?

Keep quiet Kirk, it's the best thing you can do.


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## Haunted_Sausage (Jan 2, 2015)

sjacks said:


> What gives you the authority to threaten to burn down a business and then muddy the name of that business?
> 
> Keep quiet Kirk, it's the best thing you can do.


 Why would I need 'authority' to tell you that your actions would have consequences? Your the one who's tarnished the name of your families business! All the posts online linking your racist views to the business is not my doing!

I feel sorry for Phil and Shiela I really do!

The best thing for me to do is keep quiet? You really think I feel threatened by you?


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## Haunted_Sausage (Jan 2, 2015)

I find it comical how you tag the mod who banned you previously! You posted up my details several times online yet cry when you get told there will be consequences if you continue to do so?

Ls17 8sh sounds familiar?


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## Haunted_Sausage (Jan 2, 2015)

Anyway, I'm not going to get back into this.... I won't be replying to you any further. Good luck in your sheltered life, you'll need it!


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## Matt6210 (Feb 15, 2018)

@sjacks just because @Haunted_Sausage Doesn't have all his toes doesn't mean he won't beat the f**k out of you, I'd keep quiet mate tbh.


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

Haunted_Sausage said:


> Why would I need 'authority' to tell you that your actions would have consequences? Your the one who's tarnished the name of your families business! All the posts online linking your racist views to the business is not my doing!
> 
> I feel sorry for Phil and Shiela I really do!
> 
> The best thing for me to do is keep quiet? You really think I feel threatened by you?


 Pics of Phil or I call bullsh1t


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## Pimp (Apr 12, 2018)

Haunted_Sausage said:


> I feel sorry for* Phil and Shiela* I really do!


 Sounds like an Australian sitcom


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## Cypionate (Jan 17, 2016)

The thread that keeps on giving :lol:


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## sjacks (Dec 10, 2017)

Haunted_Sausage said:


> Why would I need 'authority' to tell you that your actions would have consequences? Your the one who's tarnished the name of your families business! All the posts online linking your racist views to the business is not my doing!
> 
> I feel sorry for Phil and Shiela I really do!
> 
> The best thing for me to do is keep quiet? You really think I feel threatened by you?


 My racist views? What would they be then.



Voting to leave the EU?


Not liking radical Islamic terrorists?


Not being ashamed of being white?


At least half the country share these views. Stop mentioning my family, Kirk.


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

Haunted_Sausage said:


> Ls17 8sh sounds familiar?


 Nope, the gaffs look quite nice though. Do Phil and Sheila live there?


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## Lego Body (Aug 17, 2018)

DLTBB said:


> Nope, the gaffs look quite nice though. Do Phil and Sheila live there?
> 
> View attachment 164765


 The portable shitter in the front garden really adds something

Personally I'd have chosen a cherub fountain or prancing horses


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## Pimp (Apr 12, 2018)

Lego Body said:


> The portable shitter in the front garden really adds something


 A business always starts somewhere


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## sjacks (Dec 10, 2017)

Haunted_Sausage said:


> I find it comical how you tag the mod who banned you previously! You posted up my details several times online yet cry when you get told there will be consequences if you continue to do so?
> 
> Ls17 8sh


 @Pscarb did not ban me, no one did and he's the only moderator who seems to be active on UKM these days.

Kirk, you are the one who started this sh1t with your incessant trolling and you're continuing it by doxxing people connected to me.


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## DLTBB (Jan 26, 2015)

Lego Body said:


> The portable shitter in the front garden really adds something


 That portable shitter is Alt Fit's registered office.


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## Pimp (Apr 12, 2018)

DLTBB said:


> That portable shitter is Alt Fit's registered office.


 Alt fit and s**t


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## drwae (Jul 25, 2017)

I would be working in the club so i would get all the lads to take him out back for a beating


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## Cypionate (Jan 17, 2016)

drwae said:


> I would be working in the club so i would get all the lads to take him out back for a beating


 We all know what type of beating off you and those lads do around the back of the club


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## Lifesizepenguin (Jul 25, 2016)

back for more.

1 popcorn, please


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## MR RIGSBY (Jun 12, 2007)

Swear some people never learn :lol:


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## Endomorph84 (Jan 21, 2016)

Cypionate said:


> We all know what type of beating off you and those lads do around the back of the club


 Where's this club? asking for a mate....


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## Cypionate (Jan 17, 2016)

Endomorph84 said:


> Where's this club? asking for a mate....


 Scotland somewhere I think


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## drwae (Jul 25, 2017)

Endomorph84 said:


> Where's this club? asking for a mate....





Cypionate said:


> Scotland somewhere I think


 Mecca bingo nether gate in dundee, drwae keeping the rowdy pensioners out of mecca when they've had one too many with my 14" arms since 2018


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## Cypionate (Jan 17, 2016)

drwae said:


> Mecca bingo nether gate in dundee, drwae keeping the rowdy pensioners out of mecca when they've had one too many with my 14" arms since 2018


 Do you work weekends in the christian bookshop next door?


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## drwae (Jul 25, 2017)

Cypionate said:


> Do you work weekends in the christian bookshop next door?


 Am surprised the street view doesnt have me standing outside mecca in my bomber jacket looking hard!

The lady in blue in your circle is actually well known to the door staff at mecca we call her methy mary because we've caught her selling meth to the OAPs she's banned from the bingo and she really kicked off when that happened she took out my mate dave who also works the doors with one hit

She comes to mecca and starts a fight every night as she's got dementia and doesnt remember she banned and doesnt take the news well when we have to break it to her every time..


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

How tall is the guy in the OP? Or is the door 12 foot tall?


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## Cypionate (Jan 17, 2016)

drwae said:


> Am surprised the street view doesnt have me standing outside mecca in my bomber jacket looking hard!


 You're there, you just have to zoom in a bit


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## Matt6210 (Feb 15, 2018)

Cypionate said:


> You're there, you just have to zoom in a bit


 Put some size on bro... nice one


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## Poolside (Oct 21, 2018)

Tell her to suck his dick and film it


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## Lego Body (Aug 17, 2018)

sjacks said:


> @Pscarb did not ban me, no one did and he's the only moderator who seems to be active on UKM these days.
> 
> Kirk, you are the one who started this sh1t with your incessant trolling and you're continuing it by doxxing people connected to me.


 When did the doxxing happen.

Must have missed that bit.

Is the Driver/Warehouse Operative vacancy still available?


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Typical of you tw4tbags on here. I stop coming on here keeping up to date with stuff and amazing things have happened I have completely missed :lol: . Wtfs started all this then?


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## Lego Body (Aug 17, 2018)

andysutils said:


> Typical of you tw4tbags on here. I stop coming on here keeping up to date with stuff and amazing things have happened I have completely missed :lol: . Wtfs started all this then?


 @Haunted_Sausage @sjacks


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## Matt6210 (Feb 15, 2018)

andysutils said:


> Typical of you tw4tbags on here. I stop coming on here keeping up to date with stuff and amazing things have happened I have completely missed :lol: . Wtfs started all this then?


 Cut a long story short....

@sjacks started a t-shirt business, it wasn't the best tho.... @Haunted_Sausage Gave @sjacks his opinions on said t-shirt business, so @sjacks posted @Haunted_Sausage's personal details including address on the forum, @Haunted_Sausage Threatened to burn down phil's( @sjacks dad) business down(a washing machine shop or something of the like)

and here we are......

please tell me if any details in story are wrong?


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Matt6210 said:


> Cut a long story short....
> 
> @sjacks started a t-shirt business, it wasn't the best tho.... @Haunted_Sausage Gave @sjacks his opinions on said t-shirt business, so @sjacks posted @Haunted_Sausage's personal details including address on the forum, @Haunted_Sausage Threatened to burn down phil's( @sjacks dad) business down(a washing machine shop or something of the like)
> 
> ...


 NO! Please dont correct anything. This sounds great. This is the version i want to believe. :lol:


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## Matt6210 (Feb 15, 2018)

andysutils said:


> NO! Please dont correct anything. This sounds great. This is the version i want to believe. :lol:


 To my knowledge mate that story is absolutely correct, there was also lots of photo shopping going on around the start of this tale(well worth a look tbh).


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## Lego Body (Aug 17, 2018)

Matt6210 said:


> To my knowledge mate that story is absolutely correct, there was also lots of photo shopping going on around the start of this tale(well worth a look tbh).


 They had a Domestic. Bell-ends


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Id write a song about him.


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## EpicSquats (Mar 29, 2014)

Poolside said:


> Tell her to suck his dick and film it


 Can every single member of the forum bang both your mrs?


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## Matt6210 (Feb 15, 2018)

EpicSquats said:


> Can every single member of the forum bang both your mrs?


 Video of @sjacks and @drwae going twos up on a bird would be pretty epic to say the least.


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## Poolside (Oct 21, 2018)

EpicSquats said:


> Can every single member of the forum bang both your mrs?


 Fraid not, the little one won't touch no other man


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Matt6210 said:


> Cut a long story short....
> 
> @sjacks started a t-shirt business, it wasn't the best tho.... @Haunted_Sausage Gave @sjacks his opinions on said t-shirt business, so @sjacks posted @Haunted_Sausage's personal details including address on the forum, @Haunted_Sausage Threatened to burn down phil's( @sjacks dad) business down(a washing machine shop or something of the like)
> 
> ...


 Yes, the washing machine shop was just a front to launder the money of the illicit T s**t scam... It was created so they could make a clean getaway. It all turned pair shaped and now boath parties are foaming.... :lol:


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## Fina (Dec 26, 2004)

Why have I not entered this thread recently, it got even better! The Phil and Sheila thing is great, @GCMAX is cool for not wanting his thread deleted too.


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## trey1 (Aug 10, 2015)

@LeeDaLifter

@Haunted_Sausage

lol


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## Haunted_Sausage (Jan 2, 2015)

trey1 said:


> @LeeDaLifter
> 
> @Haunted_Sausage
> 
> lol


 Ahh man!! Hilarious! Them picture edits have me in absolute bits! Can you remember when he kept tagging mods in posts he didn't like and telling them he wants them deleting like he has some authority here.... or anywhere for that matter.

he also rand the police on me cuz I kept saying I'll slap the taste out his mouth. Silly t**t rang them 2-3 weeks after the vague jerry can n matches reference claiming that only now does he fear for his worthless life. They obviously could tell he's a loser and never followed it up....


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## Matt6210 (Feb 15, 2018)

Haunted_Sausage said:


> Ahh man!! Hilarious! Them picture edits have me in absolute bits! Can you remember when he kept tagging mods in posts he didn't like and telling them he wants them deleting like he has some authority here.... or anywhere for that matter.
> 
> he also rand the police on me cuz I kept saying I'll slap the taste out his mouth. Silly t**t rang them 2-3 weeks after the vague jerry can n matches reference claiming that only now does he fear for his worthless life. They obviously could tell he's a loser and never followed it up....


https://www.uk-muscle.co.uk/topic/324181-sjacks-go-home/?do=embed

@LeeDaLifter


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## Quackerz (Dec 19, 2015)

Just read this whole thread and I'm in bits. Reviving for the lols.

@GCMAX or whoever you are today I miss your racist bullshit, you really do make me feel like I definitely missed something on my two year hiatus. PM me for dick pics you dirty little nationalist closet case. :lol:


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## lewdylewd (May 18, 2015)

Quackerz said:


> Just read this whole thread and I'm in bits. Reviving for the lols.
> 
> @GCMAX or whoever you are today I miss your racist bullshit, you really do make me feel like I definitely missed something on my two year hiatus. PM me for dick pics you dirty little nationalist closet case. :lol:


 See what you've missed  dont leave ever again.

Tbf that was about as good as it got.

Nothing for months then this, then a few more months of nothing, then @LeeDaLifter attacking a fridge, then more months of nothing.

But all the nothing was worth it for @LeeDaLifter and @sjacks


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## Quackerz (Dec 19, 2015)

lewdylewd said:


> See what you've missed  dont leave ever again.
> 
> Tbf that was about as good as it got.
> 
> ...


 Bring back @BIG DADDY STE is what I say mate. :lol:


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## Cronus (Jun 5, 2012)

Who is this delightful hunk of a man please?


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