# The besy gym one liners, sayings and overheard convos



## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Whats the best thing you ever remember someone comnig out with at your gym or any convos youve heard or people coming up to you and saying something?

my gym is worth going just to here some of the bullsh1t thats overheard :lol:


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

...." YOU BEEN TRAINING LONG".... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## ElfinTan (May 23, 2008)

FFS.....where do i start........


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## Jimmy1 (Aug 14, 2003)

if i was on steroids, i would look like you (even though i am on steroids)


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## richh (Feb 7, 2009)

One of the instructors asked a lad why he doesn't train legs (this guy almost always does chest and he's still not big by any means!) and he replied "so my trousers will still fit"... Logical I suppose!


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## skinnyfat (Mar 30, 2010)

why do you want weights accreditation?

dont do heavy reps or you'll get bulky(i wish)


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

...this one still gets me every time.....

..i dont want to be big just toned....


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## skinnyfat (Mar 30, 2010)

Pelayo said:


> ..i dont want to be big just toned....


zzZZzz....totally!


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## deeppurple (Mar 13, 2010)

anal beads


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

It only occured to me today when i heard yet another quality convo just as i was about to walk out.

Muppet 1, 2 and 3 went a little something like this, to be fair, muppet number 1 was in pretty good shape

Muppet 2.. so you feeling ok now

Buff muppet 1.. yeh man i just started jabbing

Muppet 3.. yeh i just got some of that stuff aswell

Muppet 2..Jabbing what, what is it

Muppet 3.. its testosterone

Muppet 2.. what does that do

Muppet 3.. it does everything init

Buff Muppet 1.. im just gonna jab it every 3 days or somefin

Muppet 3.. every 3 days?? the bloke i got it off outside said i gotta jab it everyday

Buff Muppet 1.. yeh but if you start jabbin it everyday, your gonna have to train everyday

Muppet 3.. lol yeh man I do ma own jabbin, a dont give a fck me like.. i'll jab anyone..: lets out a retarded laugh whilst i almost do the same.


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

got to know this guy at the gym...hes about 26ish...good weight/ shape...we were talking about protein intake 1 day...i was like how much do you eat a day...he was like..dont know?...whats supps do u use?...none...why do i need protein??

i went to my locker...and gave him my cnp bar to start him off.....


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## deeppurple (Mar 13, 2010)

Pelayo said:


> got to know this guy at the gym...hes about 26ish...good weight/ shape...we were talking about protein intake 1 day...i was like how much do you eat a day...he was like..dont know?...whats supps do u use?...none...why do i need protein??
> 
> i went to my locker...and gave him my cnp bar to start him off.....


not everybody takes protein power, you do know that dont you?


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

deeppurple said:


> not everybody takes protein power, you do know that dont you?


but everyone should at least know you need some


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

deeppurple said:


> anal beads


" dumping on a birds chest"..:laugh:


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Pelayo said:


> " dumping on a birds chest"..:laugh:


Having a big sh1t wearing speedos.


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

magic torch* said:


> Hes not on about just protein powder,* hes on about protein all together.*


ka-ching.. :thumb:

the guy didnt have a diet or any sort of eating plan...apart from his home made curries:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Syko (May 18, 2010)

I had a tub of protein and he said "whats that?"

I said "protein"

He says "protein? Whats protein?"

And... "I run and walk alot so i dont need to train my legs"


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## deeppurple (Mar 13, 2010)

Pelayo said:


> " dumping on a birds chest"..:laugh:


yea dude!

from on top of the power rack!

reps for your love of dumping!!


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## Jem (Mar 5, 2009)

Some random tosser in the gym with whom I had never spoken used this as his introduction....

Him - My name's Darren - can I ask, did you used to be a fat girl ?

Me - erm ....what ?

Him - Yeah you must have been

Me - why would you say that ?

Him - coz you train like you never wanna be fat again

Me - are you for real ?

Him - aaaah haha - well your boyfriend must put you down a lot then - does he call you names ?

Me - erm no

Him - you've got body dysmorphia - do you know what that is ?

Me - see ya ...


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## Seyyed-Merat (Sep 1, 2007)

Jem said:


> Some random tosser in the gym with whom I had never spoken used this as his introduction....
> 
> Him - My name's Darren - can I ask, did you used to be a fat girl ?
> 
> ...


woah....thats out of order, should of knocked the F*cker out with a barbell! :cursing:


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## craftybutcher (Aug 10, 2009)

People called Darren are always cnuts, I'm the exception to the rule. :laugh:


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

deeppurple said:


> yea dude!
> 
> from on top of the power rack!
> 
> reps for your love of dumping!!


*i learned it from you...* :thumb:



Jem said:


> Some random tosser in the gym with whom I had never spoken used this as his introduction....
> 
> Him - My name's Darren - can I ask, did you used to be a fat girl ?
> 
> ...


wtf......is that true puddleduck...tosser:rolleyes: 

i had a guy say if thats whats going on. .on the outside ( points to my body)...would love to know whats going on..on the inside( points to my head)..... :confused1: :confused1:


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## brockles (Jun 23, 2009)

"The bigger the gap between the inside of your elbow and where your bicep starts the more growing room you have" HA


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## Jem (Mar 5, 2009)

LOL Merat - it was tempting - I'd just finished fasted cardio - no brekkie = low tolerance levels ...but he was wearing boxing gloves - I didnt fancy me chances  ...

I am sure you are lovely flanagan - I have nowt against darren's persay - just fat [email protected] called darren :lol:

T - course it's true :laugh: - I think he was trying the 'negging' technique out


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## Jem (Mar 5, 2009)

Pelayo said:


> *i learned it from you...* :thumb:
> 
> wtf......is that true puddleduck...tosser:rolleyes:
> 
> i had a guy say if thats whats going on. .on the outside ( points to my body)...would love to know whats going on..on the inside( points to my head)..... :confused1: :confused1:


LMAO - confused.com ...I might use that line meself


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## craftybutcher (Aug 10, 2009)

Jem said:


> I am sure you are lovely flanagan - I have nowt against darren's persay - just fat [email protected] called darren :lol:


Good job I'm hench then


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## deeppurple (Mar 13, 2010)

''i take steroids''.

what ones???

''err.....steroid ones''


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## Ak_88 (Nov 9, 2008)

I call name plagiarism ^^


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Jem said:


> LMAO - confused.com ...I might use that line meself


DP..DEEPPURPLE says it all the time....he lives for takin dumps on chests:laugh:


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## deeppurple (Mar 13, 2010)

magic torch* said:


> ^^^^^^^^^^^^ i call bullshiit.


oh that just plain rude.


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## hotchy (Aug 20, 2009)

I got my mate to come to the gym with me for a good 2 months then he stopped going and i asked: "How come youve stopped the gym?"

wait for it....

"Iv tried body building now, iv decided just to do some body conditioning so walking alot covers me now"

ffs he needed a slap!


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

"you need to squat much lower than that.. Ive got a problem with my knee."

"I already train legs, i play football on a weekend."


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## cecil_sensation (Jan 26, 2009)

muppet 1: arent we suppose to keep are back straight when we curl dumbbells and not swing with are backs (least he new somethink)

muppet 2: na mate it gives us a back work out at the same time, so then we do back and bi-ceps together

muppet 3: mate i dont know sh1t about working out

i felt like saying to muppet 1, dont listen to your mate you already know more than him.

but the entertainment was far more rewarding


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

I saw a guy once on teh bench with a wonky grip on the bar, obviously when he started benching the innevitable happened and he nearly lost it to his left side. I ran over to assist him and told him that he needed to centralize his grip and his response was

"yeah OK mate, I'm actually trying to increase the strength in my left side as its weaker, but thanks for butting in". a few minuts later there was a crash as the bar fell to the floor a few minutes later.


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## janitor (Jul 2, 2010)

Lol that's awsome mikep made me laugh hahaha


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## Gza1 (Aug 6, 2007)

' dont train your legs if u wana big shoulders, all you whey will stay in your legs otha wise cuz its a bigger muscle ' ha


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## Nickyrox (Jul 24, 2010)

This bloke up the Gym was really ripped but was very slim and had no body fat.

Sort of skinny with muscles,but still looked good.

He told me he coulnt put any size on,and asked me some advice,I ibviously told him to up his diet and hit the carbs and protein hard,but he said he could eat as much as he wanted and just couldn't put the weight on.

So My next peice of advice was get some juice like all the stuff that just blows you up. He said I would never touch that ****.

I didn'yt see him for about 2 years and yes you gest it, he is massive and looks pretty mean now. So I wonder how he did that..


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## chrisj22 (Mar 22, 2006)

'I don't like lifting too heavy coz' it makes me fat'

:lol:


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## ashie1986 (Feb 14, 2010)

"you need some of this"

yep steds

offered to my cuson on his first time ever in the gym

offered by the gym owner

what a lovely area we live in

and guess what

hes taking them now

after his first day training ever, he hasnt even got a diet sorted he eats 2 - 3 times a day junk


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## roadwarrior (Apr 29, 2006)

ashie1986 said:


> "you need some of this"
> 
> yep steds
> 
> ...


This isn't an isolated case. And it sadly reflects what's going on in the bodybuilding World.


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## roadwarrior (Apr 29, 2006)

Bloke talking to his mate:

Mate: Why don't you touch the bar to your chest when you bench press?

Bloke: Because it's harder this way!


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## angieM (Apr 28, 2010)

This isnt something that is said but still stupid.

My neighbour who has decided to go to the gym to get rid of her dumptruck ass, drives the 15min walk to the gym, gets there walks on a treadmill for 30mins then gets back in her car and drives the 15min walk home??? What the kuck????? :confused1:


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

angieM said:


> This isnt something that is said but still stupid.
> 
> My neighbour who has decided to go to the gym to get rid of her dumptruck ass, drives the 15min walk to the gym, gets there walks on a treadmill for 30mins then gets back in her car and drives the 15min walk home??? What the kuck????? :confused1:


on a similiar vein.....women i work with has started at the gym...cause of me....so she gets a pt session and 1 month membership £90!!.shes like my diets been crap...etc..etc...next thing shes got a muffin and chco bar...cause her trainer said when u feel lathargic u prob need sum sugar??

...not goin to the gym 2nite cause ive been up and down those stairs all day?......wtf:confused1: :confused1: .... :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## angieM (Apr 28, 2010)

...not goin to the gym 2nite cause ive been up and down those stairs all day?......wtf:confused1: :confused1: .... :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## skinnyfat (Mar 30, 2010)

angieM said:


> ...not goin to the gym 2nite cause ive been up and down those stairs all day?......wtf:confused1: :confused1: .... :lol: :lol: :lol:
> 
> I went in to see if she was going to the gym last night and she said "nah, Im knackered, had to run for the train on way home from work.........." Her work in edinburgh is 3mins away from train station:laugh: what a tool!


I joined a weightloss site as a food diary log. Anyway I got involved on the forums. The ethos of the site was you were allowed x amount of cals according to the weight loss/gain you were after, then you logged exercise and earned more cals for the day. Anyway some fu*s used to log housework and sex. I was forever pulling them up for it.


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## John Wood (Apr 13, 2008)

Pelayo said:


> ...." YOU BEEN TRAINING LONG".... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


I often get this...I just look at the clock and say..."About 25mins"


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

angieM said:


> ...not goin to the gym 2nite cause ive been up and down those stairs all day?......wtf:confused1: :confused1: .... :lol: :lol: :lol:


I went in to see if she was going to the gym last night and she said "nah, Im knackered, had to run for the train on way home from work.........." Her work in edinburgh is 3mins away from train station:laugh: what a tool![/quote*]..fat lazy knacker.....*



skinnyfat said:


> I joined a weightloss site as a food diary log. Anyway I got involved on the forums. The ethos of the site was you were allowed x amount of cals according to the weight loss/gain you were after, then you logged exercise and earned more cals for the day. Anyway some fu*s used to log housework and sex. I was forever pulling them up for it.


the thing is all this bull about walking/ swimming...makes people think thats all it takes...ur either on a diet or ur going to the gym to improve ur overall health and fitness.....which one is it?


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## Ryan16 (Feb 8, 2010)

John Wood said:


> I often get this...I just look at the clock and say..."About 25mins"


Lmao thats a good one! What do they say back tho? Lol


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## S.hen (Jul 7, 2010)

My usual gym is shut for re furb so me and my training partner had to go to a another one. On the way in this quite big chap was on going in. Turns out he runs it. He was going on how he could do 400 wide grip chins or 200-150 wide chins with 150kg

attached to his belt.

Me and my mate just burst out lauding in his face!


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## cheef (Dec 1, 2009)

yuo dont wanna take creatine my mate had a heart attack on it :lol:


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## angieM (Apr 28, 2010)

skinnyfat said:


> I joined a weightloss site as a food diary log. Anyway I got involved on the forums. The ethos of the site was you were allowed x amount of cals according to the weight loss/gain you were after, then you logged exercise and earned more cals for the day. Anyway some fu*s used to log housework and sex. I was forever pulling them up for it.


Lol, I did site for a while too if she wants to get rid of that butt thats alot of sex that girls gonna be having:lol:


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## Spriggen (Jun 9, 2009)

Barely anyone talks in my gym. Never heard anythin to do with steroids there. Just the odd bit of kack advise little groups give each other.


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## dudz (Oct 27, 2008)

andysutils said:


> "you need to squat much lower than that.. Ive got a problem with my knee."


Lol, my physio told me not to go too deep with squats because of my knee problem. Guess he's wrong then... :lol:


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## JC783 (May 19, 2009)

My personal fave, after watching Dave Titterton deadlifting some ridiculous amount (compared to me at least) some skinny lad says to his mate:

"deadlifting is well easy when you're bulking. It's the easiest exercise. I used to deadlift 5 plates a side when I was bulking".

Bearing in mind these lads were about 19-20 and a solid 10stone each. Lol


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## racky (Mar 7, 2010)

i was once earwigging a convo about hgh between 2 lads..

User.. U wana get on that growth mate stuffs bang on..

After bit of discussion on its uses from user 2 non user..

Non user.. So will it make me cock massive then aswell as me..

:lol: ..

Felt like shecking his hand n asking 4 his autograph.. Lad instantly became my hero..


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## rs007 (May 28, 2007)

From one of the supposedly clued up about BB gym monitors to a lad I am helping out just now.

Monitor (hands on gut) "its good to have a bit of this, because then you can turn it into muscle"

Been fkn years, I don't think he is going to ever turn it to muscle :lol:


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## Irish Beast (Jun 16, 2009)

EAT, TRAIN, SNORT COCAINE.

Well known in my gym


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## Big Will 08 (Sep 17, 2008)

These two are probably the two iv heard the most.

"You dont need to train legs, just go on the treadmill and that will do the job".

And.. I had someone say this to me on facebook the other day lol...

"Less wieght more reps old pal... Build some more tone" lol


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

dudz said:


> Lol, my physio told me not to go too deep with squats because of my knee problem. Guess he's wrong then... :lol:


and did he tell you its actually worse for your knees squatting 2 inches than it is even paralell?


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Big Will 08 said:


> These two are probably the two iv heard the most.
> 
> "You dont need to train legs, just go on the treadmill and that will do the job".
> 
> ...


lol i just wanna be toned is one of the golden winners if ever i heard one


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## Big Will 08 (Sep 17, 2008)

andysutils said:


> lol i just wanna be toned is one of the golden winners if ever i heard one


Yeah, along with people that think doing loads of sit-ups id gunna get rid of the fat on there belly. Oh and spot reducing fat lol


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## dudz (Oct 27, 2008)

andysutils said:


> and did he tell you its actually worse for your knees squatting 2 inches than it is even paralell?


Nope, but i don't do that anyway


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## ekko (Dec 3, 2008)

Big Will 08 said:


> Yeah, along with people that think doing loads of sit-ups id gunna get rid of the fat on there belly. Oh and spot reducing fat lol


or " i jus wanna tone my belly up the rest is ok " :lol:


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

dudz said:


> Nope, but i don't do that anyway


im not doubting you have a problem with your knee at all mate, but trust me, when you see some 8stone pencil neck cnut with 120kg on the bar and hes going bright red squatting 2 inches and then i walk over and tell him to get his ar$e to the grass, what do you think hes gonna say? :whistling:


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## rotator (Apr 5, 2009)

Over heard somebody saying to his training partner/mate "better stop away from those heavier weights it made me really sore the day after"

Another was telling his mate that he had been injecting omnadren ED for three weeks until somebody mentioned its not fast acting like his supplier said.His skin was looking very spotty and really oily all the time and took ages to clear up. LOL HALFWIT...


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

rotator said:


> Over heard somebody saying to his training partner/mate "better stop away from those heavier weights it made me really sore the day after"
> 
> Another was telling his mate that he had been injecting omnadren ED for three weeks until somebody mentioned its not fast acting like his supplier said.His skin was looking very spotty and really oily all the time and took ages to clear up. LOL HALFWIT...


lol i cant wait to see Tom dik and harry again and see how there getting on in a few weeks or months time.


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## dudz (Oct 27, 2008)

andysutils said:


> im not doubting you have a problem with your knee at all mate, but trust me, when you see some 8stone pencil neck cnut with 120kg on the bar and hes going bright red squatting 2 inches and then i walk over and tell him to get his ar$e to the grass, what do you think hes gonna say? :whistling:


Haha yeah, i know what you mean, i see it often too. Just saying that theres sometimes a legitimate excuse :tongue:


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## weeman (Sep 6, 2007)

rs007 said:


> From one of the supposedly clued up about BB gym monitors to a lad I am helping out just now.
> 
> Monitor (hands on gut) "its good to have a bit of this, because then you can turn it into muscle"
> 
> Been fkn years, I don't think he is going to ever turn it to muscle :lol:


your fukin joking mate!! was that stevie that said that?


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

rs007 said:


> "its good to have a bit of this, because then you can turn it into muscle"


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## Beklet (May 13, 2005)

Not a saying or owt, but the use of Deep Heat to warm up muscles instead of 5 mins cardio FFS that stuff stinks!!!! :cursing:

Yoga class this morning - 'Now just breathe and feel your body detoxing'...no, all I can feel is my spine cracking... :lol:


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## t hall gym (Sep 26, 2007)

excuses for having a fat gut

1 im bulking the now

2 im mostly doin strength powerlifting the now

3 or they quote "if your abs are showing you aint growing "


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## TH0R (Aug 15, 2007)

Seriously, I couldn't give a hoot what anyone does, doesn't do, says, does't say, uses, doesn't use

in the gym, I'm there for me and hear fvck all, find it hard to believe why you would bother

listening to these d1ckheads talking anyway, unless it gives you a sense of smugness.

Who gives a cr4p about anyone else's training unless they are knowledgeable???? Then and

only then will I listen.


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

John Wood said:


> I often get this...I just look at the clock and say..."About 25mins"


Haha, I had a guy say this to me last year, it was the first time anyone had asked me this, and I genuinly thought he was asking how long I'd been in the gym, when I said about half hour he gave me a look as if to say funny ****er, and walked off. I then realised at that point what he was actually trying to ask!!



roadwarrior said:


> Bloke talking to his mate:
> 
> Mate: Why don't you touch the bar to your chest when you bench press?
> 
> Bloke: Because it's harder this way!


This just reminded me of a guy who was on a chest press machine (the type where you lie horizontal, like doing doing a normal bench) and he was only lowering the stack from the top about two inches and then pressing back up. Another guy walked over to him and suggested a full range of motion to which he responded "it builds more muscle this way because you keep the weight higher for longer"!!!


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## Rob68 (Sep 16, 2008)

Was a few weeks back i went to train on a saturday morning....

Could hear these gobsh1tes as i was walking up the stairs.... 

`yeah man fukin d1ckhead i well tw4tted him an all his mates`etc etc....

the sort of morning after the night before bravado rubbish....

Any way was training keeping myself to myself.....they were talking so everyone in the gym could here......

next thing 1 of them shouts over to me `oi mate you a dirty blue then?`

(i had a pair of football socks on)

i really didnt want to get into a convo with them about anything never mind football.....

so i kind of shrugged my shoulders and pretended i didnt speak english (god knows why pmsl)

next thing these 2 are giving it ` fukin foriegners coming over here blah blah blah....bet he doesnt pay for gym etc`

anyway finished my workout as they were doing there 53rd set of bench presses:rolleyes:

as i was leaving i walked past them and said ` see ya lads` (i have a pretty broad manc accent)....

there faces.................PRICELESS......


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

cheef said:


> yuo dont wanna take creatine my mate had a heart attack on it :lol:


 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: .best post yet...:laugh:


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## scottish676 (Jun 30, 2009)

I wear earphones plugged in to my iphone every session. Never hear any of this stuff......guess ignorance is bliss at times.


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## round 2 (Jan 14, 2010)

I only come hear to stay out the pub and get away from the missus


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## Cliff (May 2, 2010)

http://www.uk-muscle.co.uk/losing-weight/104465-everybody-should-know-about-who-cant-lose-weight.html


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## roadwarrior (Apr 29, 2006)

Fat bloke talking to mates: "I eat chocolate cake for the carbs".


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## Nutz01 (Jan 27, 2009)

flanagan said:


> People called Darren are always cnuts, I'm the exception to the rule. :laugh:


Well theres a thing!

All the Darren's I know are cnuts,


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## Guest (Jul 25, 2010)

''You don't wanna take steroids, as soon as you stop taking them you'll **** it all out''


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## roadwarrior (Apr 29, 2006)

I think the oldest and best one is from people outside the gym who say:

"When you stop it will all turn to fat!"


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

dis man in the gym.....big belly/ bitch t.its.....

" had a bike accident 7 weeks ago...not been able to lift....was in great shape before that....." i was like 7 weeks pal"?  ...u sure about that... :lol:


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## suliktribal (Apr 4, 2010)

Who ever said gyms were boring?

Some dude I used to see at my old gym....

"I'm on gear now mate"

"What you on, then?"

"I don't know. My missus just jabs it in my @rse like"

"I'm bulking mate. I eat THREE times a day now!!!!"

"You on gear mate?! Hahha, water baby, innit!!"

"Ewwww, you take gear? You'll get aids"

"Do you want to turn into a woman? Taking all that gear"

"Eeya mate, bit of advice for ya. If you swing the weights, it's easier n that, innit!"

Etc.


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## Beklet (May 13, 2005)

Nutz01 said:


> Well theres a thing!
> 
> All the Darren's I know are cnuts,


Ha ha all the people I know called Darren are great, and I know a lot of Darrens...the only one who was a bit of a cvnt is dead now, but he was my best mate, and it was his attitude that made him funny :laugh:


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## suliktribal (Apr 4, 2010)

"DAZZZZOH!!"

As it's pronounced, round my neck of the woods

Innit.


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## scottish676 (Jun 30, 2009)

Had stopped training a while back and mate was round, convo went like this.

Me. Aye so getting back in to training this week

Him. Cool you wanting to get back to the size you were before

Me. Yeah won't take as long because of muscle memory

Him. Cool were can you buy that from

Me......... on the floor laughing


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## Rindo (Sep 18, 2010)

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... cos your face looks ****ed.

DdxX6k-1Z6g[/MEDIA]]


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## wembly (Sep 19, 2010)

Pelayo said:


> ...this one still gets me every time.....
> 
> ..i dont want to be big just toned....


Now this is everyone who ever starts, I said this the first time, but its like a freaking bug, you start just to tone up as you lose weight, then you start adding more and more weight and voila!


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## MarkFranco (Aug 26, 2010)

wembly said:


> Now this is everyone who ever starts, I said this the first time, but its like a freaking bug, you start just to tone up as you lose weight, then you start adding more and more weight and voila!


Theres no such thing as "toning up"


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

My fave is "I don't need to train my legs cos they get massive really quick!" OR "they're big enough already!"


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## MarkFranco (Aug 26, 2010)

RACK said:


> My fave is "I don't need to train my legs cos they get massive really quick!" OR "they're big enough already!"


Or, they get a good enough workout from walking/cardio


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

RACK said:


> My fave is "I don't need to train my legs cos they get massive really quick!" OR "they're big enough already!"


They are never big enough. And no body part ever will be!!!

One i hate is "Don't get any bigger Marc, you look horrible already"!!

Errrr, sorry love, but believe it or not i really dont care if girls think i look sexy or not, but thanks for the compliment.


----------



## tuktuk (Sep 30, 2009)

i heard a cracker the other day...

i dont train my legs anymore because the bigger my upper body gets, the more my legs have to do day to day carrying the extra weight about


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

tuktuk said:


> i heard a cracker the other day...
> 
> i dont train my legs anymore because the bigger my upper body gets, the more my legs have to do day to day carrying the extra weight about


Or "the smaller my legs are, the bigger my upper body looks". He's right i suppose, but f.uck that!


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

romper stomper said:


> i can imagine you get the horrible bit every single day - but not - the dont get bigger bit !!!


Lol, you bell.

More than you would think mate. Nothing like the biggest on a forum like this but you know what it's like when you are around town.

Actually, thinking about it, you prob dont know what it's like


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## defdaz (Nov 11, 2007)

Jem said:


> I am sure you are lovely flanagan - I have nowt against darren's persay - just fat [email protected] called darren :lol:


And I thought you liked me. :crying:


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## defdaz (Nov 11, 2007)

I personally hate it when people ask me if I'm still training. :angry:


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

Sy. said:


> Overheard this before..
> 
> 2 lads a bit overweight talking about bulking and one says.. "Do you think peanut m&m's would be ok for bulking?"
> 
> I never heard his mates reply but someone across the otherside of the gym said under their breath.. *"Only if you scrape the chocolate off you fat c*nt" * :lol:


Hahaha, thats awesome lol


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## Heat01 (Oct 15, 2006)

1- Guy that used to train in my gym years ago would pop into the chip shop across the road and buy a family size bar of chocolate and eat it right before the workout and this was his carbing up pre workout.  The same guy once after a ball busting workout went home and ate a fruitloaf for his dinner. :thumb:

2. Recently saw 2 big lads in gym training, swinging weights about like

monkeys absolutely no control in any of the reps making noises like they

were in labour with triplets on the way..! The biggest lad about at least 25

stone was doing calf raises on a machine whilst the other was lying on the floor

pushing up his heels to give him a spot...  

Makes you wonder how/where they got this goldmine of information from..?? :confused1: :confused1:


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

Heat01 said:


> 1- Guy that used to train in my gym years ago would pop into the chip shop across the road and buy a family size bar of chocolate and eat it right before the workout and this was his carbing up pre workout.  The same guy once after a ball busting workout went home and ate a fruitloaf for his dinner. :thumb:
> 
> 2. Recently saw 2 big lads in gym training, swinging weights about like
> 
> ...


At 25stone, does he really need a machine to do the calf raises :confused1:


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## 71081 (Apr 23, 2009)

a lad I used to go to school with who is very fat, constantly tells me he is a power lifter aiming to do a bodybuilding show next year, then tells me how much gear he is on!!

To top it all off, he then looks at what weight im lifting, adds at least 50% on and says I used to warm up on that! Then carries on with his workout.

I always have a sneeky look at the weights and guess what...........very light!! I just feel offended that he thinks im that gullable............


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## Merouria (Sep 16, 2007)

Get this one all the time outside the gym " You lookin big mate! Still training?"

WTF seriously?


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## Little Ron (Aug 10, 2010)

I hate the "you still training" comment. makes me wonder if the muppet is looking to insult me or is just plain stupid. I have to give them the benefit of the doubt.


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## Jimbo 1 (Jul 25, 2010)

Jem said:


> Some random tosser in the gym with whom I had never spoken used this as his introduction....
> 
> Him - My name's Darren - can I ask, did you used to be a fat girl ?
> 
> ...


LOL What a knob! you should have told him you train because you don't want to have no muscle & be weak like him :laugh:


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## rs007 (May 28, 2007)

Little Ron said:


> I hate the "you still training" comment. makes me wonder if the muppet is looking to insult me or is just plain stupid. I have to give them the benefit of the doubt.


Think it is just standard stuff where people who don't train are concerned, small talk, like sh1t about the weather - I just brush it off.

I've even had it while in show condition wearing a tight t-shirt, shaved and tanned with viens like mains cables out all over my forearms, people don't mean anything bad by it


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

My old gym was full of chavs, and some of the stuff they'd come up and ask me just made me shake my head and walk off, usual ones were about gear and always went

Chav, mate I'm taking sust, deca and dbol but not getting anymore hench! What do you think?

Me, You're not eating enough or training hard enough. What dose are you taking of each med?

Chav, med?

Me, Yeah med, do you know how much of each drug you're taking?

Chav, errrrrr I had 3 shots of sust yesterday, going to do 2 tomorrow and same with deca then prob 5 or 6 of those pink tabs a day.

Me, I'll not even bother asking about PCT! What's you're diet like?

Chav, PC what? And I don't want to diet I want to get big.

Me, forget it! What do you eat in a day?

Chav, I'll have coco pops in a morning, might have a sandwich for my dinner with a marsbar and crips then KFC or McD's when I'm crusing at night.

Me, FFS!!! You're a plank! Now Fook off and don't bother me again!


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## Little Ron (Aug 10, 2010)

rs007 said:


> Think it is just standard stuff where people who don't train are concerned, small talk, like sh1t about the weather - I just brush it off.
> 
> I've even had it while in show condition wearing a tight t-shirt, shaved and tanned with viens like mains cables out all over my forearms, people don't mean anything bad by it


I know they don't really, its just when you think your looking good for all the hard work someone comes along who appears to not be able to see it and it can knock you back abit. I usually just agree with them and make out I've lost loads of size but hoping to get back into it again soon. :thumb: that way if they are trying to insult you they haven't succeeded in their eyes and if they are just creating conversation it gets them thinking about how big you were or will be again.


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

My missus: I don't want to start lifting weights cos i'll get too big and muscley.

Me: If it was that easy i'd be Jay Cutler, now fvck off and make me a cup of tea.


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## LittleChris (Jan 17, 2009)

Hear more **** on here than in the gym to be quite honest.


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

Smitch said:


> My missus: I don't want to start lifting weights cos i'll get too big and muscley.
> 
> Me: If it was that easy i'd be Jay Cutler, now fvck off and *make me a cup of tea*.


Tea is for homos. Coffee is where it's at!


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> Tea is for homos. Coffee is where it's at!


Bah, i'll give you ****, right up the ass!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## treb92 (Jun 10, 2008)

I remember at guy at college telling me its dangerous to train when on steroids.


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

LittleChris said:


> Hear more **** on here than in the gym to be quite honest.


On here it's:

Squat/dealift or you won't grow

You're over training/not training hard enough

Etc.....


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

Smitch said:


> Bah, i'll give you ****, right up the ass!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:


And powerhousemcgru pulls again!!! :bouncen my face!


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

lambert said:


> I remember at guy at college telling me its dangerous to train when on steroids.


Well that goes without saying doesn't it.


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## tom0311 (Nov 17, 2008)

Smitch said:


> My missus: I don't want to start lifting weights cos i'll get too big and muscley.
> 
> Me: If it was that easy i'd be Jay Cutler, now fvck off and make me a cup of tea.


Hehe, that was funny  My mate thought if you were a natural bodybuilder you couldn't drink whey protein shakes or take creatine lol. He said "I want to sort my diet out but I want to gain muscle naturally, without all that whey stuff".


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## treb92 (Jun 10, 2008)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> Well that goes without saying doesn't it.


Yeah wouldnt like to think all the juicers were at the gym wasting their time.


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

tom0311 said:


> Hehe, that was funny  My mate thought if you were a natural bodybuilder you couldn't drink whey protein shakes or take creatine lol. He said "I want to sort my diet out but I want to gain muscle naturally, without all that whey stuff".


"Are you on them protein shakes" is a good one. Like they are dirty, cheating steroids or something!!!!


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## tom0311 (Nov 17, 2008)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> "Are you on them protein shakes" is a good one. Like they are dirty, cheating steroids or something!!!!


Yep, my gf's mum said to me once "Isn't that pointless because when you stop taking them (shakes) you lose it all don't you?" That was a facepalm moment, I don't know what on earth goes on in some peoples heads. I should have said "sure, just like when you stop eating your chocolates all the fat drops off you!".


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

KJW said:


> And by toned a lot of people mean the shredded cover models on Men's Health or some other tripe.
> 
> Realistic eh?


Shredded???? Don't you mean photoshopped?


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

tom0311 said:


> Yep, my gf's mum said to me once "Isn't that pointless because when you stop taking them (shakes) you lose it all don't you?" That was a facepalm moment, I don't know what on earth goes on in some peoples heads. I should have said "*sure, just like when you stop eating your chocolates all the fat drops off you!*".


Well you shouldn't have as that would be fueling the fire. Some sort of protein shake rage type thing.


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## Mark W H (Jan 25, 2010)

My favorite is - "you do know that when you stop going to the gym all your muscles will turn to fat." Is that before or after we turn base metals into gold and water into wine?


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## tom0311 (Nov 17, 2008)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> Well you shouldn't have as that would be fueling the fire. Some sort of protein shake rage type thing.


Lol. That reminds me of another one actually. A lad who I used to play rugby with walked into the gym I go to about a year ago for a one off session and we were talking about shakes etc, as he was just getting back into it all. He said to me "I used to drink maximuscle promax but it made me so angry I had to stop". It made me cringe.


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

tom0311 said:


> Lol. That reminds me of another one actually. A lad who I used to play rugby with walked into the gym I go to about a year ago for a one off session and we were talking about shakes etc, as he was just getting back into it all. He said to me "I used to drink maximuscle promax but it made me so angry I had to stop". It made me cringe.


It made him angry because it didn't mate him like Phil Heath in 3 weeks lol


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

Mark W H said:


> My favorite is - "you do know that when you stop going to the gym all your muscles will turn to fat." Is that before or after we turn base metals into gold and *water into wine*?


There was some famous bloke that actually did that once :confused1:


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## tom0311 (Nov 17, 2008)

Yeh probably, he probably gave up on muscle building and decided he wanted to tone up instead..... What do you expect after such a haunting cycle of whey. The sides became too much.


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## Jem (Mar 5, 2009)

defdaz said:


> And I thought you liked me. :crying:


LMAO !!! not you dazzle :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## supermancss (Dec 2, 2008)

Casual convo with lad ive seen a few times at gym...while we are waiting for equipment were talking and he comes out with:

Think im gonna start roids when im at uni, theres gonna be loads of meatheads there..

what shops sell them in town?

me: Argos i think have just started a new range or will do soon, helping athletes get ready for 2012 games..

he looked confused but i think i pulled it off


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

supermancss said:


> Casual convo with lad ive seen a few times at gym...while we are waiting for equipment were talking and he comes out with:
> 
> Think im gonna start roids when im at uni, theres gonna be loads of meatheads there..
> 
> ...


Yeah, they sell maximuscle as well mate, but that might be a bit harsh for his first cycle. Its got lots of stuff mixed in with it, so he might be better off starting with whey isolate as if he gets sides, he will def know it's the whey then!


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## tom0311 (Nov 17, 2008)

Yeh, don't want another poor lad getting horrific sides from a maximuscle cycle. That stuff's toxic, not to mention the protein rage.


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## supermancss (Dec 2, 2008)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> Yeah, they sell maximuscle as well mate, but that might be a bit harsh for his first cycle. Its got lots of stuff mixed in with it, so he might be better off starting with whey isolate as if he gets sides, he will def know it's the whey then!


not sure if you read what i said properly ! Steroids in argos? haha


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

supermancss said:


> not sure if you read what i said properly ! Steroids in argos? haha


I know what you said mate, was just a joke from some previous posts. Don't worry. I have failed.


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

tom0311 said:


> Yeh, don't want another poor lad getting horrific sides from a maximuscle cycle. That stuff's toxic, not to mention the protein rage.


I know mate, it sickens me that these big companies can get away with it. Celltech are just as bad. I mean, children can buy it ffs!!!


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## tom0311 (Nov 17, 2008)

Well it's like they say about drugs. They start on the soft ones like Nap 50's then they move on to harder stuff like cyclone and promax without planning a proper PWT or anything.


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## geeby112 (Mar 15, 2008)

mong - " honestly do a fast walk on the treadmill while curling dumbells as you will build and tone":rockon:


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## supermancss (Dec 2, 2008)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> I know what you said mate, was just a joke from some previous posts. Don't worry. I have failed.


na you might have been alright, i failed to understand haha!

i'll let you off..


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## Scott.EFC (Jan 5, 2010)

tom0311 said:


> Yeh, don't want another poor lad getting horrific sides from a maximuscle cycle. That stuff's toxic, not to mention the protein rage.


Hahahahahahaha protein rage hahahahahahaha

I love these kind of threads!! Always gives me a good laugh!!

:lol:


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## Greyphantom (Oct 23, 2003)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> There was some famous bloke that actually did that once :confused1:


No you mean "fictitious" bloke...


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## MarkFranco (Aug 26, 2010)

Wasnt said in the gym but in the pub

"All steroids do is make you retain water, once you stop your back to where your started"

AND

"If i put a pin in you i bet your muscles would defalte from all the water"


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## Simon m (Apr 3, 2008)

Balance balls build core stability - every PT in the world and absolute bollocks.

I saw one fudmonkey try and do light db squats on one! Fvckwitt!


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## SK-XO (Aug 6, 2009)

"All that powder stuff you drink it's cheating, you have powder muscles"


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## cassano (Jan 13, 2009)

when am i gona start getting bigger, ive got a party to go to on saturday night!


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## aka (Jun 25, 2010)

cassano said:


> when am i gona start getting bigger, ive got a party to go to on saturday night!


:laugh: :laugh:


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## Charlie_miller (Nov 18, 2009)

A convo i had with my freind a few days ago

Friend: alright.

Me: alright mate.

Friend: look at you your getting big you on them protein shakes.

Me: yeah i take them.

Friend: tut tut there so bad for you when you stop going to the gym say like 4 weeks you will just turn to water.

Me: what the fcuk are you on about?


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## Jsb (Mar 30, 2009)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> Tea is for homos. Coffee is where it's at!


 :thumb:



Smitch said:


> On here it's:
> 
> Squat/dealift or you won't grow
> 
> ...


dont forget "PCT MUST BE DONE"



tom0311 said:


> Well it's like they say about drugs. They start on the soft ones like Nap 50's then they move on to harder stuff like cyclone and promax without planning a proper PWT or anything.


pmsl

love some of these comments they are good for a laugh but i just eat anyone that bothers me normally with sh*te comments or embaris them for being such c*ck knockers


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## benicillin (Feb 28, 2010)

Mate: have you ever taken that creatine stuff?

Me: yeh i use it quite often

Mate: oh right, isn't it really bad for your heart?

Me: uh.... no.

Mate: oh, i heard it was. Anyway i prefer not to use it as the gains you get are only temporary and disappear when you stop using it.

Me: *facepalm* whatever you say mate.


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## Gza1 (Aug 6, 2007)

i dont train abs... my body fat is to high


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## crampy (Jun 19, 2010)

random guy: are you on roids mate?

Me:no mate why?

random guy: Ohh...well your bigger than me so you must be on roids..

Me: facepalm


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## Zara-Leoni (Mar 12, 2007)

rs007 said:


> From one of the supposedly clued up about BB gym monitors to a lad I am helping out just now.
> 
> Monitor (hands on gut) "its good to have a bit of this, because then you can turn it into muscle"
> 
> Been fkn years, I don't think he is going to ever turn it to muscle :lol:


Is he an alchemist too...? haha!



Beklet said:


> Yoga class this morning - 'Now just breathe and feel your body detoxing'...no, all I can feel is my spine cracking... :lol:


If all you had to do was breathe we'd all get away with a hell of a lot more! :whistling:



KJW said:


> Trumpet! :lol:


Saw that.... and knew before I even looked where you were from :lol:



RACK said:


> My fave is "I don't need to train my legs cos they get massive really quick!" OR "they're big enough already!"


Ah but see John.... that is actually TRUE in some ppls cases.... like mine for example


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## Zara-Leoni (Mar 12, 2007)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> They are never big enough. And no body part ever will be!!!
> 
> One i hate is "Don't get any bigger Marc, you look horrible already"!!
> 
> Errrr, sorry love, but believe it or not i really dont care if girls think i look sexy or not, but thanks for the compliment.


I get "told" regularly not to get any bigger cos its not attractive......

....either by skinny underfed emasculated, emo-type, bangle-wearing, effeminate, long-haired, runty "Mr Muscle" lookalikes or, fat gluttenous, lardy, sweating, over-oestrogenised-due-to-fat-levels, pie-munching, truffle hunting oinkers.

Yeah. Cos I give a shit what a catch of your calibre thinks of course..... 

Oddly enough anyone I meet who either is into weights or any other sport tbh be it rugby, or pretty much anything really, appreciates how I look and either love it or can see how ppl would find it attractive.

Odd that...... :tongue:


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

Zara-Leoni said:


> I get "told" regularly not to get any bigger cos its not attractive......
> 
> ....either by skinny underfed emasculated, emo-type, bangle-wearing, effeminate, long-haired, runty "Mr Muscle" lookalikes or, fat gluttenous, lardy, sweating, over-oestrogenised-due-to-fat-levels, pie-munching, truffle hunting oinkers.
> 
> ...


Yeah, your right. I think your sexy as f.uck!!!!!!!!


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## steve1234567890 (Aug 30, 2009)

Zara-Leoni said:


> I get "told" regularly not to get any bigger cos its not attractive......
> 
> ....either by skinny underfed emasculated, emo-type, bangle-wearing, effeminate, long-haired, runty "Mr Muscle" lookalikes or, fat gluttenous, lardy, sweating, over-oestrogenised-due-to-fat-levels, pie-munching, truffle hunting oinkers.
> 
> Yeah. Cos I give a shit what a catch of your calibre thinks of course.....


LOL, cause given half a chance they wouldn't be all over you like their favourite cake much would they????????


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2010)

"I cant wait to get back on the gear, i feel flat as a fart"

As said by 12 stone pencil neck who does a million sets of bi curls a day and not alot else.

2 months later

"ive been on the gear 6 weeks and put 4lbs on! im dead happy i look huge"

As said by same pencil necked million bicep curler a day but with a big red face now.

O, one retard to the other.

"you need to bend your back forward when doing uplifts (he meant deads) and straighten on the way up. Its called full rom!"

No mate, its called a injury waiting to happen. Plank.


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## Grim Reaper (Feb 21, 2010)

How much ya bench mate ????? :cursing:


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Lol ive been looking at the title of this thread for days wondering wtf it was.

Then I just realised its my thread :death:


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2010)

this one.

gym **** ' i wanna compete'

me 'in what, the raffle during the interval?'


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

1russ100 said:


> this one.
> 
> gym **** ' i wanna compete'
> 
> me 'in what, the raffle during the interval?'


YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2010)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


used it a couple of times. works a treat!


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## robzombie (Dec 28, 2009)

Steroids are good for your heart because your heart is a muscle.


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## jw007 (Apr 12, 2007)

I heard this in gym other day

"that JW is sooo tough and handsome, and strong too, His form and ROM are perfect and hes just my hero"

"and mine"

"and mine"

"and mine"

etc etc


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## KRS (Nov 27, 2008)

jw007 said:


> I heard this in gym other day
> 
> "that JW is sooo tough and handsome, and strong too, His form and ROM are perfect and hes just my hero"
> 
> ...


Bwahahaha, how stupid are they?!?!?! :lol:


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## Greyphantom (Oct 23, 2003)

jw007 said:


> I heard this in gym other day
> 
> "that JW is sooo tough and handsome, and strong too, His form and ROM are perfect and hes just my hero"
> 
> ...


Youre right that is the funniest one liner we have heard...


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## Zara-Leoni (Mar 12, 2007)

steve1234567890 said:


> LOL, cause given half a chance they wouldn't be all over you like their favourite cake much would they????????


TBH its prob more the case that I, a mere female, have achieved more than they every could so they dismiss it as not for them lol....

Lazy assed ****ers.....


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## Old but not out (Sep 8, 2009)

"I get terrible headaches when I do this!" - said whilst he was sitting on chair leaning back and banging his head on a wall


----------



## Old but not out (Sep 8, 2009)

"You should try creatine "

"Can you inject it?"

"No"

"Not interested then"


----------



## XL (Aug 12, 2009)

I heard this the other day made me LOL but also very worrying.

"I'm taking ephedrine at the moment, it's herbal, so much safer than other steroids & I've gained 3lbs this week".

The guy that said this was at least 35, shocking.


----------



## H22civic (Oct 6, 2009)

Guy in my gym, 5'8 12st 15% bf or so, no shape or size at all:

'Im not training my chest any more, its getting too big.'

Same guy

'Im not taking any more steriods, girls dont like that look'


----------



## chrisj22 (Mar 22, 2006)

Today;

''Well last week I had a protein shake before my workout and not after, so this week I'm having one after and not before''.


----------



## S_Soldier (Jun 25, 2008)

"I come here to train hard, not fcuk spiders!"


----------



## PRD (Sep 4, 2010)

Old but not out said:


> "You should try creatine "
> 
> "Can you inject it?"
> 
> ...


 :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Syko (May 18, 2010)

jw007 said:


> I heard this in gym other day
> 
> "that JW is sooo tough and handsome, and strong too, His form and ROM are perfect and hes just my hero"
> 
> ...


So you did hear me then?

I wanted an autograph :thumbup1:

Didnt you see the my hero thread


----------

