# Advice on gaining confidence as short man



## JB93 (Oct 17, 2017)

Hi guys,

Many of you likely know me from my posts regarding my TRT regime. However, I'd like to seek some of your opinions on something a little different: developing and maintaining confidence when you are a short/ shorter man. Basically, at 5"7/ 5"8 with shoe lifts, I am not exactly a tall guy! Over the years I have had numerous negative, derisive comments made to me regarding my height or rather my lack of height. I have had many women categorically tell me that, were it not for my height, they would definitely date me. I have had peers tell me that they can never see me in a leadership role as apparently most successful leaders, from all spheres of life, are tall. At the time I just thought "f**k it" and rose above it *pardon the pun there guys  but over the years those comments have eaten away at my self- confidence, my self-esteem and ultimately my self-worth. I have become angry, bitter, volatile and increasingly less at ease with myself, both physically and intellectually, than I was before I let these comments stick.

Given the problems I have had with hormone imbalances and ED, it is not surprising that my confidence and mood have been knocked. However, this preoccupation with my height is beginning to really ruin the quality of the relationships, both romantic and platonic, that I enjoy. I find it IMPOSSIBLE to approach/ flirt with women, I feel CONSTANTLY inferior and inadequate to other men, especially those men taller than myself which after all is most men! and note that I feel increasingly negative and pessimistic about my life/ career chances. My mental state is really suffering bctcause of this and I would be interested to know if any other guys on here, who are my height or even slightly smaller, have ever had similar feelings or experiences? If you did, what strategies did you adopt to overcome these intense feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, and what practical tips or advice could you give me as to how I might improve my romantic and career prospects? I do not want to get a reputation for having "short man syndrome", but at the same time wish to appear strong and assertive, so again any tips as to how I can project an authoritative demeanour without being labelled a little Napoleon would be appreciated!

Serious comments and advice only please. I have a great sense of humour, and often laugh at myself for obsessing over something which, in many people's view, is just not worth worrying about! However, I have become genuinely distressed and agitated by it of late, and therefore hope some guys who have had similar experiences and come out the other side can share some useful insights.

Joe.


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## Addo2016 (Feb 9, 2016)

Same height as me , I think you just put it in the back of your mind and be grateful that you can walk talk and see for example ?


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## JB93 (Oct 17, 2017)

Hello,

And how old are you if you don't mind me asking? Did your height ever cause you to feel "less of a man" and "not as good as" those taller than yourself? How have you overcome people's prejudice and judgments? I feel profoundly insecure about my height and as I say I have openly faced rejection simply for that reason. I do not want to become "short man syndrome" type guy, but I understandably feel pretty glum about it!


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## Cypionate (Jan 17, 2016)

I'm 5'7.5" and have never had any derogatory comments about my height, plenty of people shorter than 5'7" and plenty of people taller

Maybe stop trying to date 6ft+ tall women? :lol:

You are who you are, nothing other than training for muscle mass can be done about that, so forget about it, I wouldn't say 5.7" was small either, it's not tall but it's far from short


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## SuperRips (Sep 14, 2015)

The thing is you wont be able to do anything about it so dont let it eat at you and just concentrate on finding ways to enjoy life. Theres pleeeennnttty of fanny out there that like shorter guys. I know its easier for me to say being 6ft but one of my brothers is 5ft7 and also I have a couple mates around the same height as you and have had the same convo with them all about it and I just find the guys who take the piss out of the smaller dude just come across as a type of bully to me. Used to be one right dickhead in my old gym that went round shouting at the shorter people when he wanted to get on machines/use weights etc but I picked up on how he had a totally different approach to anyone who was his height or taller so I asked him about it. He denied he was that way but it wasnt just me that noticed it.

It will be hard to ignore the comments from others but you know what....so what! If thats how they get off then fcuk em and let them crack on. Master yourself how to deal with it and the comments wont bother you, you was alright a few yr ago so why now let it get to you.

....oh and my brothers mrs is 5ft1 so he feels tall most of the time


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## NoGutsNoGloryy (Jan 7, 2013)

I wouldn't class myself as a midget but I'm smaller than alot of people, I'm 5'9 and most people I come across are atleast a head above of me. However all these guys are the ones that always move out of my way, nobody ever gets cheeky anymore because they know I'd swing for them :lol: ...

It's just how you see yourself is what matters If you are not confident or feel inadequate then that will be how everybody else sees you, it will project into every aspect of what you do. I think you've become to deep in an unnecessary insecurity about yourself and allowed it to manifest. Be confident and be proud of yourself start going mma or boxing or something that will give you a big mental boost.


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## NoGutsNoGloryy (Jan 7, 2013)

JB93 said:


> Hello,
> 
> And how old are you if you don't mind me asking? Did your height ever cause you to feel "less of a man" and "not as good as" those taller than yourself? How have you overcome people's prejudice and judgments? I feel profoundly insecure about my height and as I say I have openly faced rejection simply for that reason. I do not want to become "short man syndrome" type guy, but I understandably feel pretty glum about it!


 What you have to understand is even if you are attractive not everybody is going to be interested in you. Or even ugly for that matter someone will find you attractive and others wont... One girl rejected you wow, who cares... It's just one woman out of about a million in a town


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## Fadi (Dec 14, 2010)

JB93 said:


> *Advice on gaining confidence as short man*


 Hang around for about 10 seconds, as this won't take long at all...



JB93 said:


> Basically, at 5"7/ 5"8


 I am 5"3, / 162.5cm in height, but feel much taller than you. Why is that do you think?

See, I told you this won't take long.

You're welcome to call me short, but be prepared to seriously feel like a midget once I'm done with you!

No offence intended with my comment Sir, but I'm here if you feel the need to discuss your "short" stature with me.

You talk about confidence or lack thereof. I tell you right here and now, confidence is you and you are confidence, the separation takes place only when the Boss allows it to take place. Oh, the Boss?!

That's *you* Joe, that's you Sir!

Cheers.


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## JB93 (Oct 17, 2017)

Hi,

I can't figure out whether you are joking or not? Are you saying that my concerns about my height are exaggerated? Have you not read the many many studies that correlate height with career and dating success? Do you not agree that being a short man places you at a SIGNIFICANT disadvantage, especially in relation to attracting a partner?

Everyone's experiences are of course different, maybe your height is not an issue for you? If it is not an issue then why is this and was it ever an issue?


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## Fadi (Dec 14, 2010)

JB93 said:


> Are you saying that my concerns about my height are exaggerated?


 No I am not saying that and I could never say that on your behalf. A feeling of insecurity is real, in the same way life stressors exist. It's how we choose to deal and manage such feelings and experiences that matters most when all is said and done.



JB93 said:


> Have you not read the many many studies that correlate height with career and dating success?


 On more than one occasion on UK-M, I have written about my thoughts and feelings regarding studies. Some people choose to allow studies to run their lives, whilst others choose to believe in their own experiences, whilst at the same time checking if such and such study confirm and/or conform with them or not, and not the other way around.



JB93 said:


> Do you not agree that being a short man places you at a SIGNIFICANT disadvantage, especially in relation to attracting a partner?


 For every disadvantage (you wish to think about), there's an advantage. That's how life works Sir.



JB93 said:


> Everyone's experiences are of course different, maybe your height is not an issue for you? If it is not an issue then why is this and was it ever an issue?


 That is true. No my height has never been an issue. When we grow and mature, many things we considered to fall under the heading of "issue", we later come to realise it was really never an issue to begin with, it was only that we made it and believed it to be so.

Finally and directly as per your question in the OP re confidence, I say that confidence is not that they will like and accept me. Confidence is I'll be fine if they don't. Why is that? Because as I've already mentioned, to every disadvantage there's an advantage, and to every negative, there is a positive.

Cheers.


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## Mickstar (Nov 21, 2017)

Alright mate you think too much just be the best person you can be and stop thinking about what over people think and want. There's alot of smaller people than you that get on fine in life not that your small in any means I'm 5ft 7 and couldn't care less about my height don't let that hold you back.


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## AestheticManlet (Jun 12, 2012)

JB93 said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> Many of you likely know me from my posts regarding my TRT regime. However, I'd like to seek some of your opinions on something a little different: developing and maintaining confidence when you are a short/ shorter man. Basically, at 5"7/ 5"8 with shoe lifts, I am not exactly a tall guy! Over the years I have had numerous negative, derisive comments made to me regarding my height or rather my lack of height. I have had many women categorically tell me that, were it not for my height, they would definitely date me. I have had peers tell me that they can never see me in a leadership role as apparently most successful leaders, from all spheres of life, are tall. At the time I just thought "f**k it" and rose above it *pardon the pun there guys  but over the years those comments have eaten away at my self- confidence, my self-esteem and ultimately my self-worth. I have become angry, bitter, volatile and increasingly less at ease with myself, both physically and intellectually, than I was before I let these comments stick.
> 
> ...


 Used to be in same boat. Although I'm 5 7 without "shoe lifts".

I'll just be honest, my opinion:

I used to feel exactly the same. I got bullied a lot through school for how I looked and stuff and my self confidence was zero. It was so bad that I didn't want to leave the house at all, felt inferior to everyone else.

The below is a very vain approach but it's what I've turned into because of one way or another.

Just don't show interest in females that are taller then you, it's simply way it is. I'm 5 7 and I won't show interest in any lass over 5 5, it's pretty much a mutual feeling on both parts imo girls don't want a guy shorter than them and vice versa usually. It's a bonus though because I like small women anyway.

Smashing gym and getting a good physique and blasting gear on and off has helped my self confidence loads especially come summer when I look like my avi pic.

No issues with females what so ever. Guys who look like s**t tend to envy you and usually their lass is the one checking you out, but ultimately I'm just a vain cvnt now and that stuff is always welcome. It's motivation somewhat.

Up until I was about 20 I looked like a kid, but last 4 years or so matured massively (not mentally though) and no one recognises me from them days now.

Dunno if it helps you mate that's my personal experience.


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## Westy (Mar 6, 2018)

Being 5'6" I can understand the op's feelings. Personally I think I've come to realise that it's one of those things that some people take the mick out of smaller men and I've gone through the frustration of especially taller women having a laugh at your expense. At the end of the day it's a reflection on who THEY are to make fun of something that's impossible for you to change and you should go out and chat up the taller girls and take the knockbacks there will be some but have thick enough skin to take it move on and you'll find not all girls have that attitude and ones that do are not worth your time. PMA Positive Mental Attitude. Head up bud


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## Brutal1 (Jan 25, 2011)

Wow for a minute there I thought I had started a thread and forgot about it lol, to the OP I feel exactly the same! Ive worked in a pretty alpha industry (oil rigs) for 17 years and my height was never an issue till I started this job........in fact I liked my height (or lack of) but being stuck out in the middle of the sea for 3 weeks at a time away from family and friends round bigger guys who bullied and teased me constantly calling me stumpy or the little guy or simply just treating me like a little kid it all eventually got to me, we have to stand in a que for food and I can tell how small I am when in the que, in fact I feel about 4ft tall when in that que.

I also feel being short as soon as you put on a bit or weight everyone is calling you a fat cnut, a stone on a 5ft 6 frame is a lot more noticeable than a stone on a 6ft frame.

Fadi....you sound like you've got it! wish I had the same attitude!


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## Fadi (Dec 14, 2010)

Brutal1 said:


> Fadi....you sound like you've got it! wish I had the same attitude!


 Sir, please never lose sight of the fact that to belittle is to be little.

End of story.

Cheers.


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## Bearchest (Mar 26, 2018)

I am shocked that you think 5'7" is really short. I'm 5'8" and I consider myself of average height.True younger people tend to be taller now than when I was 21 in 1983. I think you've got to think of yourself as normal. If that needs therapy or some kind of self reinforcement then get into that. Having a great physique will help. My mate is 5'3" now that is short.


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## salamaleikum (Jun 13, 2018)

I didnt read cuz it was too long,

dont be insecure simple as that


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## StanleyHudson (Jul 11, 2017)

JB93 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I can't figure out whether you are joking or not? Are you saying that my concerns about my height are exaggerated? Have you not read the many many studies that correlate height with career and dating success? Do you not agree that being a short man places you at a SIGNIFICANT disadvantage, especially in relation to attracting a partner?
> 
> Everyone's experiences are of course different, maybe your height is not an issue for you? If it is not an issue then why is this and was it ever an issue?


 i do not believe height has a direct correlation with success and women. i think it has a direct correlation with confidence and confidence will determine your likelihood to succeed and get the ladies. i am also 5'7"-5'8" ish and have had no trouble with either. understand that your height cannot be changed so you need to gain your confidence. i don't walk around like i'm a short person, nor do i walk around like i'm bigger than i am and having to prove something. just be yourself and get your confidence. i tell girls all the time "i'm short and i'm a little insecure about it" and then they hit me with the "you're not short, i'm short". so stop approaching girls taller than you! make up for it in other places anyway


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