# back from magaluf



## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

It was OK but didn't blow my mind. Now I'm drinking coffee and evaluating stuff right down into fine detail. I've got this.


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

well hows the tan and what kind of things blow you generally?


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## G-man99 (Jul 15, 2008)

What where you expecting???


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Loveleelady said:


> well hows the tan and what kind of things blow you generally?


Tan is disappointing. I thought my latin looking skin would toast in a lovely brown, but instead I am pealing like a lil lizard.

What do you mean by blow?


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

G-man99 said:


> What where you expecting???


a girl! lol


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## Goosh (Jun 24, 2012)

Magaluf is just one big strip of people trying to get you to come into their bars and at the end of the strip you get met by a big square full of dickheads.

Standard holiday abroad filled with Brits


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

G-man99 said:


> What where you expecting???


I don't know but walking down the strip at 5am stoned was a real eye opener.


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

The L Man said:


> Tan is disappointing. I thought my latin looking skin would toast in a lovely brown, but instead I am pealing like a lil lizard.
> 
> What do you mean by blow?


o this is awful total holiday disaster if no tan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

do a light exfoliation to get the dead skin off and moisturise well gosh maybe pop in for a quick spray tan...gosh be awful if folk thought you went on holiday and didn't get a tan!!!!!


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

G-man99 said:


> What where you expecting???


My thoughts exactly... if you expect Magaluf to blow the mind you maybe need to widen you perspective a little


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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

*YOU BEST HAVE PULLED!!*


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Loveleelady said:


> a girl! lol


The girl next to my hotel room :wub:


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## bigtommay (Jun 26, 2012)

Subbed! :thumb:


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

R0BLET said:


> *YOU BEST HAVE PULLED!!*


I couldn't pull a hamstring over there mate.


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

The L Man said:


> The girl next to my hotel room :wub:


o tell us more!!!


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Loveleelady said:


> o this is awful total holiday disaster if no tan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> do a light exfoliation to get the dead skin off and moisturise well gosh maybe pop in for a quick spray tan...gosh be awful if folk thought you went on holiday and didn't get a tan!!!!!


lol the sad thing is I even popped a cheeky bit of tanning oil in toiletry bag. I will take your advice about the moisturiser.


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## G-man99 (Jul 15, 2008)

Went to Palma Nova a few weeks ago and took my Mrs to magaluf one night as she'd never been before (I'm 37 she is 30), she was slightly disturbed by the state of the brits throwing up on every corner, girls being groped by pi55ed up lads etc!!

She asked me why i'd been there so many times before, d'uh!!!!


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Loveleelady said:


> o tell us more!!!


She was a good looking girl. I got on well with her the first night she arrived. Then on night two, and through the rest of the week, I heard her getting f*cked by some bloke. There's my holiday romance for you all.


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## G-man99 (Jul 15, 2008)

The L Man said:


> She was a good looking girl. I got on well with her the first night she arrived. Then on night two, and through the rest of the week, I heard her getting f*cked by some bloke. There's my holiday romance for you all.


Did you fumble with yourself listening to them, imagining it was you showing her a good time instead??


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

G-man99 said:


> Did you fumble with yourself listening to them, imagining it was you showing her a good time instead??


I listened for a bit but just fell asleep mate.


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## Mish (May 1, 2011)

The L Man said:


> She was a good looking girl. I got on well with her the first night she arrived. Then on night two, and through the rest of the week, I heard her getting f*cked by some bloke. There's my holiday romance for you all.


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

The L Man said:


> She was a good looking girl. I got on well with her the first night she arrived. Then on night two, and through the rest of the week, I heard her getting f*cked by some bloke. There's my holiday romance for you all.


you know L man just thinking this is karma for how you let us down on the artistic thread

you came in all flashy and showy with your fab pictures

you promised us all sorts and that we'd all get one

and then you let us down a bagful and didn't deliver

so others had to step in and show off their creative memories

karma doesn't forget

the only way to right this malturn is to go back and do the decent thing


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## simonthepieman (Jun 11, 2012)

Oh L-man, came in expecting a fail

everythingwentasexpected


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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

The L Man said:


> I couldn't pull a hamstring over there mate.


Give up, seriously.... GIVE UP.


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## Ginger Ben (Oct 5, 2010)

Oh dear...


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## estewart9698 (May 28, 2013)

Was in malia a few years back with the boys and if you can't get laid there then u must have some serious issues!

But on the other hand saves you some time on check ups at the docs now yer back lol


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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

The L Man said:


> I listened for a bit but just fell asleep mate.


Course you did, knuckle shuffle i bet.....


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## simonthepieman (Jun 11, 2012)

1) goes to Magaluf - doesn't get laid

2) does steroids - doesn't even lift

3) goes to a pub aged 18- doesn't get in

I'm sure you must look like this guy in real life


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

simonthepieman said:


> 1) goes to Magaluf - doesn't get laid
> 
> 2) does steroids - doesn't even lift
> 
> ...


Yet I'm still here smiling.

At the end of the day I could sit here crying about it, but no, I have plans that will blow your fvcking head out of the water Simon. Just had a stunning glass of water and reefer this morning. Judge me.


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

you should just turn gay or something ... :whistling:


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

infernal0988 said:


> you should just turn gay or something ... :whistling:


No thanks man.


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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

The L Man said:


> Yet I'm still here smiling.
> 
> At the end of the day I could sit here crying about it, but no, I have plans that will blow your fvcking head out of the water Simon. Just had a stunning glass of water and reefer this morning. Judge me.


What plans....


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

You should have gone and joined in with the nice girl and the other fella.......... It's magaluf, it would have been allowed!


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

R0BLET said:


> What plans....
> 
> View attachment 128949


Giving up drinking, training twice as hard as before and looking for a career path.


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

The L Man said:


> No thanks man.


comeon ........ Atleast if you were gay you could pull something resembling a woman ???...


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

TBH it's no harder to pull in any town on a weekend than magaluf. Law of averages says there's at least 1 person out there pi55ed who'll climb into bed with ya


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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

The L Man said:


> Giving up drinking, training twice as hard as before and looking for a career path.


Give up drinking - bet you don't.

Training twice as hard... so eat twice as much too?

Career, artist.... p1ss taking one would be best mate


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## Mr_Morocco (May 28, 2011)

So you went to shagaluf and didnt even pull 1 girl, you seriously need to come out of the closet soon


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## man_dem03 (Oct 1, 2008)

seriously dissapointed in this, all the help which was given as well...even down to what clothes you should take

cant believe you didnt get any snatch. guess it's right, you can lead a horse to water but cant make it drink


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## Mr_Morocco (May 28, 2011)




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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

man_dem03 said:


> seriously dissapointed in this, all the help which was given as well...even down to what clothes you should take
> 
> cant believe you didnt get any snatch. guess it's right, you can lead a horse to water but cant make it drink


Such a waste of being young, free and single :lol:


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Fvckin hell feeling a bit down now. LIFE IS COMPLEX.


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

come to think of it iv never seen how you look like, are you a harelipped bucktoothed midget with a glandular problem or something ? Do you have 3 eyes & vampire fangs ? Cause you went to magaluf where the most common gift you bring home with you is VD at very least the clamp... & just wow.


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## Mr_Morocco (May 28, 2011)

infernal0988 said:


> come to think of it iv never seen how you look like, are you a harelipped bucktoothed midget with a glandular problem or something ? Do you have 3 eyes & vampire fangs ? Cause you went to magaluf where the most common gift you bring home with you is VD at very least the clamp... & just wow.


Its simple mate, he's gay but probably just doesnt want to come out, from his storys of being with a fit girl and just drinking a coffee when she obv wanted the D to going to shagaluf and not pulling..it all adds up


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

Mr_Morocco said:


> Its simple mate, he's gay but probably just doesnt want to come out, from his storys of being with a fit girl and just drinking a coffee when she obv wanted the D to going to shagaluf and not pulling..it all adds up


mmmm probably i mean if your a raging **** you should atleast be honest with your self


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Mr_Morocco said:


> Its simple mate, he's gay but probably just doesnt want to come out, from his storys of being with a fit girl and just drinking a coffee when she obv wanted the D to going to shagaluf and not pulling..it all adds up


Or I just have shocking self confidence. I am not gay.


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## TwoCanVanDamn (Jun 22, 2012)

If I didn't know any better I'd say The L man was trolling us all.

Don't worry L man I'm going on holiday in ten days I'll show you how it's done. Hopefully


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

TwoCanVanDamn said:


> If I didn't know any better I'd say The L man was trolling us all.
> 
> Don't worry L man I'm going on holiday in ten days I'll show you how it's done. Hopefully


probably right maybe it is a troll idk ... But he has stated strongly that he is not before if my memory is correct ?


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

TwoCanVanDamn said:


> If I didn't know any better I'd say The L man was trolling us all.
> 
> Don't worry L man I'm going on holiday in ten days I'll show you how it's done. Hopefully





infernal0988 said:


> probably right maybe it is a troll idk ... But he has stated strongly that he is not before if my memory is correct ?


How is this even trolling :S


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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

The L Man said:


> Or I just have shocking self confidence. I am not gay.


How was it when on cycle?

Mine was like this guys;


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## Mr_Morocco (May 28, 2011)

In other news, think im falling in love with that irish bird hazel off big brother


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

By skimming over a posts like these by the L man I get the impression he thinks being a 'nice respectful guy' is what women want because that's what they say :whistling:


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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

2004mark said:


> By skimming over a posts like these by the L man I get the impression he thinks being a 'nice respectful guy' is what women want because that's what they say :whistling:


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

R0BLET said:


> How was it when on cycle?
> 
> Mine was like this guys;
> 
> View attachment 128956


Lol like Fred West tbh.

I went to BCM to watch calvin harris. Had to get out of the dance floor asap as my sunburnt shoulders kept getting touched. Met some girl in there who kept trying to get off me but I wasn't interested. She wasn't good looking and it looked like she had eaten a bag of cheese doritos before going out. She added me on Facebook lol.


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

The L Man said:


> How is this even trolling :S


erm cause no one gets the chances you do & just walks away from it ????


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

The L Man said:


> Lol like Fred West tbh.
> 
> I went to BCM to watch calvin harris. Had to get out of the dance floor asap as my sunburnt shoulders kept getting touched. Met some girl in there who kept trying to get off me but I wasn't interested. She wasn't good looking and it looked like she had eating a bag of cheese doritos before going out. She added me on Facebook lol.


This her?


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## Guest (Jul 15, 2013)

Being sad and filled with desperation is a total fail.

Blessed, married to a gorgeous high earner. Like myself 

Couldn't be assed with all that bollocks.


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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

The L Man said:


> Lol like Fred West tbh.
> 
> I went to BCM to watch calvin harris. Had to get out of the dance floor asap as my sunburnt shoulders kept getting touched. Met some girl in there who kept trying to get off me but I wasn't interested. She wasn't good looking and it looked like she had eating a bag of cheese doritos before going out. She added me on Facebook lol.


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Gary29 said:


> This her?


Lol I can't explain. Her whole face and hair etc just reminded me of a dairy product like cheese. I'll try and get a pic off her Facebook for you.


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

The L Man said:


> Lol like Fred West tbh.
> 
> I went to BCM to watch calvin harris. Had to get out of the dance floor asap as my sunburnt shoulders kept getting touched. Met some girl in there who kept trying to get off me but I wasn't interested. She wasn't good looking and it looked like she had eaten a bag of cheese doritos before going out. She added me on Facebook lol.


There is a great little thing thats been said : BEGGARS CAN`T BE CHOOSERS! You should have taken her to your hotelroom & smashed the **** out of her dorito drenched mouth with your D !!!.


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

infernal0988 said:


> There is a great little thing thats been said : BEGGARS CAN`T BE CHOOSERS! You should have taken her to your hotelroom & smashed the **** out of her dorito drenched mouth with your D !!!.


Lol dude I've fvcked up chances with legit stunners, so I would have had no chance with cheese girl!


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## man_dem03 (Oct 1, 2008)

R0BLET said:


> Such a waste of being young, free and single :lol:


even if he was only young i would expect more of him, i was hoping for tales of banging midgets, fat chicks, armpits or anything. i bet when he even tugged one off it was dry handed like he was back home and didnt even go get the lotion for a special holiday w4nk

f*ck your self confidence L man, if its that low then start with ugly chicks and work you way up :thumbup1:


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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

The L Man said:


> Lol dude I've fvcked up chances with legit stunners, so I would have had no chance with cheese girl!


Why?

ED?


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

I'd rather go on holiday in a public toilet!


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

The L Man said:


> Lol dude I've fvcked up chances with legit stunners, so I would have had no chance with cheese girl!


thats it you got a strong case of the gay ... Just PM me when you come round to getting out & i will smash your bumhole like a pinyata filled with candy at a fatkids birthday party.


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

R0BLET said:


> Why?
> 
> ED?


That has happened before after nights of drinking lol.



infernal0988 said:


> thats it you got a strong case of the gay ... Just PM me when you come round to getting out & i will smash your bumhole like a pinyata filled with candy at a fatkids birthday party.


wtf


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## man_dem03 (Oct 1, 2008)

The L Man said:


> I went to BCM to watch calvin harris. Had to get out of the dance floor asap as my sunburnt shoulders kept getting touched.


to me that screams ****, you should have been smashed so much you didnt even no you had shoulders



The L Man said:


> Met some girl in there who kept trying to get off me but I wasn't interested. She wasn't good looking and it looked like she had eaten a bag of cheese doritos before going out. She added me on Facebook lol.


no excuse, most woman look the same when bending them over. its only the size of the a$$ and hip which tend to vary


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## Mr_Morocco (May 28, 2011)

R0BLET said:


> Why?
> 
> ED?


He was in bed with a stunner and apparently he didnt feel "interested" so they just drank coffee


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## Mr_Morocco (May 28, 2011)

infernal0988 said:


> thats it you got a strong case of the gay ... Just PM me when you come round to getting out & i will smash your bumhole like a pinyata filled with candy at a fatkids birthday party.


 @R0BLET you've got some compeition here mate, which 1 of you two are gonna bang his virgin doors in?


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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

Mr_Morocco said:


> @R0BLET you've got some compeition here mate, which 1 of you two are gonna bang his virgin doors in?


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## Leeds89 (Feb 13, 2012)

R0BLET said:


> View attachment 128958


You love your Spiderman memes don't you :lol: :lol:


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## simonthepieman (Jun 11, 2012)

The L Man said:


> Yet I'm still here smiling.
> 
> At the end of the day I could sit here crying about it, but no, I have plans that will blow your fvcking head out of the water Simon. Just had a stunning glass of water and reefer this morning. Judge me.


Aspergers is one hellava syndrome


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## bigtommay (Jun 26, 2012)

You need to star focusing on some mingers LMan.


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

simonthepieman said:


> Aspergers is one hellava syndrome


 :lol:


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## lxm (Jul 26, 2011)

Lman.... I managed it.... you can too!

I always thought 'Oh I cant do that, say this or make that move, just incase' - I thought that it had to be the whole nicey nicey gentleman way and that's what girls wanted.

But after I managed success with the first, spending a few nights out with her etc I quickly learnt that I was completely wrong and that's not what girls want! That you need to be brash and get on with it, they like a guy who takes hold of their waist and goes in for the kiss etc.

Since then - with my original notion out of the way, and doing what I now know what girls want in a guy, I've not had any issues, pulled every night out.


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## Ackee&amp;Saltfish (Mar 18, 2011)

lxm said:


> Lman.... I managed it.... you can too!
> 
> I always thought 'Oh I cant do that, say this or make that move, just incase' - I thought that it had to be the whole nicey nicey gentleman way and that's what girls wanted.
> 
> ...


This aint lxm


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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

Leeds89 said:


> You love your Spiderman memes don't you :lol: :lol:




They make me laugh


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

@R0BLET @Leeds89 @bigtommay @Gary29 @infernal0988 @lxm

deleted

That's the girl I was on about lol. I don't care she just wasn't for me. See what I mean about doritos?


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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

The L Man said:


> @R0BLET @Leeds89 @bigtommay @Gary29 @infernal0988 @lxm
> 
> That's the girl I was on about lol. I don't care she just wasn't for me. See what I mean about doritos?


Dude, take the pic off.

Isn't fair on her.

But, in your current state of play - Virgin. You should of taken your chance


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

The L Man said:


> @R0BLET @Leeds89 @bigtommay @Gary29 @infernal0988 @lxm
> 
> That's the girl I was on about lol. I don't care she just wasn't for me. See what I mean about doritos?


Wth ??? Thats far from ugly mate & why you didnt tap that i can never imagine !


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

Haha, you should still be ruining girls like that at your age, looks like she has a half decent rack at least.


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

R0BLET said:


> Dude, take the pic off.
> 
> Isn't fair on her.
> 
> But, in your current state of play - Virgin. You should of taken your chance


pic deleted cause you made me feel bad


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

infernal0988 said:


> Wth ??? Thats far from ugly mate & why you didnt tap that i can never imagine !


lol bro can you edit out the picture link from your comment? i feel like a guilty salmon atm.

@lxm


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## Mr_Morocco (May 28, 2011)

you should of ruined that :no:


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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

Gary29 said:


> Haha, you should still be ruining girls like that at your age, looks like she has a* half decent rack at least*.


Yeah I spotted that :w00t:


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

The L Man said:


> pic deleted cause you made me feel bad


Ha, too late :lol:

I agree though mate, I wouldn't have touched her either... I know most would though lol


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## Patsy (Mar 14, 2008)

This is hilarious, tbh incase you all aint realised yet but... OP is a very sophisticated troll reason being nobodys life could be this sad/dull/depressive/lame/lacklustre/boring ect...

Anyways @Leeds89 hows Aus mate? macked any minge yet? :whistling:


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Patsy said:


> This is hilarious, tbh incase you all aint realised yet but... OP is a very sophisticated troll reason being nobodys life could be this sad/dull/depressive/lame/lacklustre/boring ect...
> 
> Anyways @Leeds89 hows Aus mate? macked any minge yet? :whistling:


My man Patsy!! How's it going buddy? Weathers nice aint it.


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## Leeds89 (Feb 13, 2012)

Patsy said:


> This is hilarious, tbh incase you all aint realised yet but... OP is a very sophisticated troll reason being nobodys life could be this sad/dull/depressive/lame/lacklustre/boring ect...
> 
> Anyways @Leeds89 hows Aus mate? macked any minge yet? :whistling:


I'm fvcking back old pal :lol: Got told I had a job, waited couple weeks for it to start, rung me day before I started telling me the contract was cancelled. Oh and my dad cut off all contact with me and didn't give me the £2000 he promised, so ran out of cash and had to come home.

Fvck it, least I'm still alive :lol:


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## simonthepieman (Jun 11, 2012)

Patsy said:


> This is hilarious, tbh incase you all aint realised yet but... OP is a very sophisticated troll reason being nobodys life could be this sad/dull/depressive/lame/lacklustre/boring ect...
> 
> Anyways @Leeds89 hows Aus mate? macked any minge yet? :whistling:


Yet you feel obliged to get involved in his every post


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

Damn, was hoping to get you into trouble :lol:

LINK REMOVED before L man has kittens


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

2004mark said:


> Damn, was hoping to get you into trouble :lol:


Lol come on man.


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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

Leeds89 said:


> I'm fvcking back old pal :lol: Got told I had a job, waited couple weeks for it to start, rung me day before I started telling me the contract was cancelled. Oh and my dad cut off all contact with me and didn't give me the £2000 he promised, so ran out of cash and had to come home.
> 
> Fvck it, least I'm still alive :lol:


That sucks mate!


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## lxm (Jul 26, 2011)

Honestly Lman!

All my train-wreck threads are still there for the viewing.... I would go out on nights out, have girls coming onto me, sucking my neck dry pinching my @rse in bars and didn't want to reciprocate or be receptive to them because of lack of self confidence, and a wrong knowledge of what they wanted or what was acceptable behaviour of someone in their late teens...

I was scared to make a move, even when they had shown that they were clearly interested and even made the first move themselves, incase I had somewhat imagined that they liked me, or incase it seemed pervy that I tried to kiss them, or touch them... or they didn't want me to do any of the above to them!

Confidence of getting over the first hurdle! Once I actually started opening up to the idea of being receptive and reciprocal to females, and accepting that its okay to make advances, because everyone else is doing it! and its what girls want - *AND IF YOU DONT SOME OTHER GUY WILL* - my confidence grew and grew, and it still is! I honestly promise that once you have that first success it will all change!!


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## Patsy (Mar 14, 2008)

The L Man said:


> My man Patsy!! How's it going buddy? Weathers nice aint it.


All good mate but its pishing down here 



Leeds89 said:


> I'm fvcking back old pal :lol: Got told I had a job, waited couple weeks for it to start, rung me day before I started telling me the contract was cancelled. Oh and my dad cut off all contact with me and didn't give me the £2000 he promised, so ran out of cash and had to come home.
> 
> Fvck it, least I'm still alive :lol:


Ahh gutted for you mate, well atleast you got out there mate an did a bit of exploration, more than most people do! 



simonthepieman said:


> Yet you feel obliged to get involved in his every post


Sorry.. but who the fcuk are you? never seen you here before lol


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## phoenix1980 (Apr 27, 2011)

@The L Man youve got a prob/cyst on your pituatiry gland, seen it on an episode of House. Guy was with this stunner but never had sex with her just talk hold hands have coffee, he thought he was a-sexual just not interested in it, to evolved and all that clap trap. Good old house solved it , in the end as far as I recall the guy didnt get the prob fixed as it was his identity this being a-sexual crap lol.


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

The L Man said:


> Lol come on man.


lol - I've removed it now.


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## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

2004mark said:


> Damn, was hoping to get you into trouble :lol:
> 
> LINK REMOVED before L man has kittens


having kittens is the closest he will get to pussy!


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## Fortunatus (Apr 12, 2013)

I got back from magaluf 2 weeks ago, would never go again I'm 22 and felt old. never seen so many 18 year old idiots in the same place in all my life I even got a 20 euro ferry over to Ibiza for a night out just be around some mature normal people.

good laugh and all but having groups of little kids around me and little girls who can't even stand up is not my thing! but then I'm not really a big drinker would much rather go Ibiza drop a few pills, love life have great sex and wake up the next day feeling like a boss!


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## Leeds89 (Feb 13, 2012)

Fortunatus said:


> I got back from magaluf 2 weeks ago, would never go again I'm 22 and felt old. never seen so many 18 year old idiots in the same place in all my life I even got a 20 euro ferry over to Ibiza for a night out just be around some mature normal people.
> 
> good laugh and all but having groups of little kids around me and little girls who can't even stand up is not my thing! but then I'm not really a big drinker would much rather go Ibiza drop a few pills, love life have great sex and wake up the next day feeling like a boss!


Exactly the same as me mate. I went to Kavos at 18 and didn't really enjoy it then, everyone was so immature, I'd definitely hate it now!


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## James s (Sep 18, 2010)

L man you are getting so many offers in this thread asking you to make it official, I didn't know there were so many gay men on the forum.


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## Xbigdave79 (Mar 30, 2012)

The L Man said:


> She was a good looking girl. I got on well with her the first night she arrived. Then on night two, and through the rest of the week, I heard her getting f*cked by some bloke. There's my holiday romance for you all.


I have just nearly ****ed myself readin this:laugh:


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## simonthepieman (Jun 11, 2012)

Patsy said:


> Sorry.. but who the fcuk are you? never seen you here before lol


lets all just get along


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## jackdublin (Jan 28, 2013)

heading to santa ponsa in 5 days and my standerds are set to 0! and i am sure all of the lads ones are too


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## Mr_Socko (Sep 18, 2009)

did you do your eyebrows before you went L Dawg


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Mr_Socko said:


> did you do your eyebrows before you went L Dawg


Yeah I had them threaded lol.


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## Ballin (Aug 24, 2011)

This thread. :no:


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

I've never known so much fail. How no one can actually get laid in this day and age is pure comedy!

Keep putting these threads up they make my day


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

RACK said:


> I've never known so much fail. How no one can actually get laid in this day and age is pure comedy!
> 
> Keep putting these threads up they make my day


laugh in the face of adversity


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

You just need to get laid by any means, after that life will be a doddle.

My god, I've been in a mood for weeks, got a stunner round I know (she's that hot I even broke my "size 10" rule with her) and life's much better now 

If you're insecure, just turn the lights out.


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## TwoCanVanDamn (Jun 22, 2012)

jackdublin said:


> heading to santa ponsa in 5 days and my standerds are set to 0! and i am sure all of the lads ones are too


Good man. My standards will also be set to 0 whilst on hols in 10 days


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## Madoxx (Nov 7, 2010)

anyone take your ID or throw you out?

Anyone mean to you ?


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

Did you stand on anyone's flip-flop?


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Madoxx said:


> anyone take your ID or throw you out?
> 
> Anyone mean to you ?


Got 2 warnings from the hotel manager but that's about it.



RACK said:


> Did you stand on anyone's flip-flop?


Lol no all good thankfully.


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## lxm (Jul 26, 2011)

Lman, when are we training & going on a night out ?


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## Sully6000 (May 9, 2012)

Been twice before.. Good if you want a mental boys holiday just getting ruined and trying it in with any female with a pulse.

Awesome place for the beers but it is a bit of a sausage fest. Haha!


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## Ragingagain (Sep 4, 2010)

****, op is just as bad as me  pmsl


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## Blinkey (May 14, 2012)

Did you beat any doorman up whilst there?


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## Robbie789 (Sep 6, 2012)

The L Man said:


> She was a good looking girl. I got on well with her the first night she arrived. Then on night two, and through the rest of the week, I heard her getting f*cked by some bloke. There's my holiday romance for you all.


Holy sh!t, I just laughed so hard I cried :lol:

We're all gunna make it Lbrah


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

The L Man said:


> She was a good looking girl. I got on well with her the first night she arrived. *Then on night two, and through the rest of the week, I heard her getting f*cked by some bloke*. There's my holiday romance for you all.












@The L Man on holiday.

PS, I know it's late but I'm bored to fcuk at work and was searching google images for Bert ( I mean L Man) pictures. FML.


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Gary29 said:


> @The L Man on holiday.
> 
> PS, I know it's late but I'm bored to fcuk at work and was searching google images for Bert ( I mean L Man) pictures. FML.


Lol pretty much like that Gary. Saw the bloke on the balcony a few hours later. I did the casual "Alright?" nod to him and acted cool, but deep down I was a broken man.


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## Mr_Socko (Sep 18, 2009)

You should have shoved a fiver up your bum and then lent it to him to snort coke off of.


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## Shaynewob (Aug 6, 2011)

A friend just got back said it was good but there's a lot of fighting all time and bouncers are basically A HOLES


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## simonthepieman (Jun 11, 2012)

Lman if he actually lifted


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Strong shoulders...


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

Oh my god! WTF have I just read?

What is wrong with you child?!? Go out, get laid and stop making fücking excuses.

I blame technology, when I was a teen we didn't have no fancy ipads, we went out, got drunk and had sex.


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

Gary29 said:


> @The L Man on holiday.
> 
> PS, I know it's late but I'm bored to fcuk at work and was searching google images for Bert ( I mean L Man) pictures. FML.


hahaha... that's the exact picture I had I my head, apart from the fat L Man was also having a crank at the same time (crying wank lol)


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Gym Bunny said:


> Oh my god! WTF have I just read?
> 
> What is wrong with you child?!? Go out, get laid and stop making fücking excuses.
> 
> I blame technology, when I was a teen we didn't have no fancy ipads, we went out, got drunk and had sex.


What you have just read is me putting a middle finger up to the system. Yes I am a bit of maverick and what!



2004mark said:


> hahaha... that's the exact picture I had I my head, apart from the fat L Man was also having a crank at the same time (crying wank lol)


I was led in bed just looking at the ceiling. For the record I didn't w4nk.


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## Ben_Dover (Apr 12, 2012)

2004mark said:


> hahaha... that's the exact picture I had I my head, apart from the fat L Man was also having a crank at the same time (crying wank lol)


Haha crank, genius


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

The L Man said:


> What you have just read is me putting a middle finger up to the system.* Yes I am a bit of maverick and what!*
> 
> I was led in bed just looking at the ceiling. For the record I didn't w4nk.


and you're still a virgin

Why not w4nk? Jesus I've seen my best mate w4nk while he's stood there watching me fawk a girl! Mate we really need to get you laid lol


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

The L Man said:


> I was led in bed just looking at the ceiling. For the record I didn't w4nk.


It did cross your mind though didn't it :thumbup1:

Nothing like making a good situation out of bad :lol:


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## KRSOne (Jul 31, 2011)

I think one day you may just split into two, like an amoeba. You HAVE to be asexual after reading this :lol:


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## Leeds89 (Feb 13, 2012)

RACK said:


> and you're still a virgin
> 
> Why not w4nk? Jesus I've seen my best mate w4nk while he's stood there watching me fawk a girl! Mate we really need to get you laid lol


Hahaha same, except it was dinner time at school and was at the nearby river with the local school slag :lol: :lol:


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

RACK said:


> and you're still a virgin
> 
> Why not w4nk? Jesus I've seen my best mate w4nk while he's stood there watching me fawk a girl! Mate we really need to get you laid lol


I wasn't being serious...jesus.



2004mark said:


> It did cross your mind though didn't it :thumbup1:
> 
> Nothing like making a good situation out of bad :lol:


It crossed my mind of course, but I just went to sleep. Sad end to a sad story.


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

The L Man said:


> I wasn't being serious...jesus.


So you did w4nk then


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

KRSOne said:


> I think one day you may just split into two, like an amoeba. You HAVE to be asexual after reading this :lol:


Symptoms of asexuality?



RACK said:


> So you did w4nk then


No lol!


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## KRSOne (Jul 31, 2011)

The L Man said:


> Symptoms of asexuality?
> 
> No lol!


according to wiki:

Asexuality (or nonsexuality)[1][2][3] is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone or low or absent interest in sexual activity.[4][5][6] It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the four types thereof, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality.[7][8][9] A study in 2004 placed the prevalence of asexuality at 1%.[7][10]

if that strikes familiar you are within 1% haha.


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

God I'm gonna have a w4nk now thinking of you not w4nking while a fit girl is getting sex....... notsureifhomodontreallycare


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

KRSOne said:


> according to wiki:
> 
> Asexuality (or nonsexuality)[1][2][3] is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone or low or absent interest in sexual activity.[4][5][6] It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the four types thereof, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality.[7][8][9] A study in 2004 placed the prevalence of asexuality at 1%.[7][10]
> 
> if that strikes familiar you are within 1% haha.












EDIT: For the record I'm not asexual!!!!


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## Sambuca (Jul 25, 2012)

wow how did i miss this thread haha


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

Sambuca said:


> wow how did i miss this thread haha


You were prob having sex mate hahaha


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

The L Man said:


> What you have just read is me putting a middle finger up to the system. Yes I am a bit of maverick and what!


No I don't think you are TBH. I think you're a tad repressed.


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Gym Bunny said:


> No I don't think you are TBH. I think you're a tad repressed.


ouch you're harsh


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

Haha sorry for the thread bump L dawg, looks like I've opened up another wave of abuse for you to endure lol!


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Gary29 said:


> Haha sorry for the thread bump L dawg, looks like I've opened up another wave of abuse for you to endure lol!


Lol standard. What I've learnt this afternoon: I don't lift, I w4nk whilst listening to other people shag, I am asexual and I am sexually repressed.

Neat!


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

The L Man said:


> Lol standard. What I've learnt this afternoon: I don't lift, I w4nk whilst listening to other people shag, I am asexual and I am sexually repressed.
> 
> Neat!


Could be worse, you could be fat


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

The L Man said:


> ouch you're harsh


 It's not harsh. Something is obviously preventing you from closing the deal. It is most likely something you need, but you can't reconcile a desire you apparently perceive as wrong. Hence you are repressing it.

If it happens between 2 (or more) consenting adults it's not wrong. Learn to accept that and you'll be free.


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Gym Bunny said:


> It's not harsh. Something is obviously preventing you from closing the deal. It is most likely something you need, but you can't reconcile a desire you apparently perceive as wrong. Hence you are repressing it.
> 
> If it happens between 2 (or more) consenting adults it's not wrong. Learn to accept that and you'll be free.


I know what's going on in my mind. Pretty simple.


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

You need to find the part of the thought process that's actually stopping you having sex mate.

Honestly your first time is easy, you don't even have to be good at it! if it goes in, it counts and you lose your "V" plates


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

RACK said:


> You need to find the part of the thought process that's actually stopping you having sex mate.
> 
> Honestly your first time is easy, you don't even have to be good at it! if it goes in, it counts and you lose your "V" plates


This thread is horrendously embarrassing lol.

I'm not kidding when I say in the last 12 months I've had at least 7/8 clear chances on a plate with little effort on my part. But a couple of bad experiences at the start threw me and now it's a mind game more than anything.


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

Next even sniff of a chance you get, drop a viagra, neck some alcohol, walk in the bedroom, don't say a word, pin the girl down by her throat, kiss her and get started! Standard Procedure!

FAWK thinking about it, just do it!


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

The L Man said:


> I know what's going on in my mind. Pretty simple.





The L Man said:


> This thread is horrendously embarrassing lol.
> 
> I'm not kidding when I say in the last 12 months I've had at least 7/8 clear chances on a plate with little effort on my part. But a couple of bad experiences at the start threw me and now it's a mind game more than anything.


Then get out of your head. It's obv affecting you.


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Gym Bunny said:


> Then get out of your head. It's obv affecting you.


That's what I'm trying to do but it's tough!


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## MyStyle (Apr 22, 2011)

Gym Bunny said:


> Then get out of your head. It's obv affecting you.


^ this

Alcohol?


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## TwoCanVanDamn (Jun 22, 2012)

RACK said:


> You need to find the part of the thought process that's actually stopping you having sex mate.
> 
> Honestly your first time is easy, you don't even have to be good at it! if it goes in, it counts and you lose your "V" plates


This

My first time I was terrible but I still swaggered around the next day like I was john Travolta! Telling all the boys how much of a fvcking stud I was :lol:

I was 16 though, you know, like normal people :whistling:


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

The L Man said:


> This thread is horrendously embarrassing lol.
> 
> I'm not kidding when I say in the last 12 months I've had at least 7/8 clear chances on a plate with little effort on my part. But a couple of bad experiences at the start threw me and now it's a mind game more than anything.


No point being embarrassed, it's pretty much what we've all come to expect :lol:

Also not much point offering advice because you've probably had a books worth on here recently lol

But you've gotta get over it man. Sex is about enjoying yourself. You're honest about it on here, have you ever been honest with a girl about it?

If all else fails find yourself a cougar and let her eat you alive :thumbup1:


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

MyStyle said:


> ^ this
> 
> Alcohol?


Alcohol was part of the problem...i think :whistling:


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

The L Man said:


> That's what I'm trying to do but it's tough!


It's the easiest thing in the world to do. Srsly. You're making it into a mountain in your head and that is absolutely unnecessary. My advice. Go to POF, get chatting with someone. Bang em one time and conquer this kracken.

Edit: Or go to a kink club, get a Domme to tie you up and own your ass.


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## MyStyle (Apr 22, 2011)

The L Man said:


> Alcohol was part of the problem...i think :whistling:


A case of whiskey cock? Just drink enough to get you tipsy & help the confidence levels.

If that fails try valium..

If that fails go buy some MDMA..

If that fails just give up.



Gym Bunny said:


> It's the easiest thing in the world to do. Srsly. You're making it into a mountain in your head and that is absolutely unnecessary. My advice. Go to POF, get chatting with someone. Bang em one time and conquer this kracken.
> 
> *Edit: Or go to a kink club, get a Domme to tie you up and own your ass.*


Sounds good, when are we going? :rolleye:


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## Ben_Dover (Apr 12, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> It's the easiest thing in the world to do. Srsly. You're making it into a mountain in your head and that is absolutely unnecessary. My advice. Go to POF, get chatting with someone. Bang em one time and conquer this kracken.
> 
> Ed*it: Or go to a kink club, get a Domme to tie you up and own your ass.*


Always been my fantasy that has, she has to have massive bangers peering over her corset though and preferably in her 40's


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

Ben_Dover said:


> Always been my fantasy that has, she has to have massive bangers peering over her corset though and preferably in her 40's


You do realise of course, that if you're being topped your opinion is utterly irrelevant! :wink:


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## Ben_Dover (Apr 12, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> You do realise of course, that if you're being topped your opinion is utterly irrelevant! :wink:


I do :bounce:


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

Ben_Dover said:


> I do :bounce:


Good boy. :rockon:


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

Ben_Dover said:


> Always been my fantasy that has, she has to have massive bangers peering over her corset though and preferably in her 40's


I could put you in touch with that exact woman if you were in the midlands lol


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## DanielScrilla (Jul 8, 2012)

Palma nova on that steep hill was a nightmare drunk at 9 in the morning!!! Lol


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

Gym Bunny said:


> It's the easiest thing in the world to do. Srsly. You're making it into a mountain in your head and that is absolutely unnecessary. My advice. Go to POF, get chatting with someone. Bang em one time and conquer this kracken.
> 
> Edit: Or go to a kink club, get a Domme to tie you up and own your ass.


You know he'd end up getting pegged


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

RACK said:


> You know he'd end up getting pegged


 Aye. Or trampled.


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

R0BLET said:


> *YOU BEST HAVE PULLED!!*


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## Leeds89 (Feb 13, 2012)

RACK said:


> Next even sniff of a chance you get, drop a viagra, neck some alcohol, walk in the bedroom, don't say a word, *pin the girl down by her throat*, kiss her and get started! Standard Procedure!
> 
> FAWK thinking about it, just do it!


You might think he's kidding but hand on heart every girl I've been with LOVED being handled like a b1tch. A few even ask for it haha


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## Leeds89 (Feb 13, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> It's the easiest thing in the world to do. Srsly. You're making it into a mountain in your head and that is absolutely unnecessary. My advice. Go to POF, get chatting with someone. Bang em one time and conquer this kracken.
> 
> Edit: Or go to a kink club, get a Domme to tie you up and own your ass.


POF is actually a gold mine my man why ain't you on there!? Get in MA and we'll help you, screenshot some conversations we'll guide you it


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

Leeds89 said:


> POF is actually a gold mine my man why ain't you on there!? Get in MA and we'll help you, screenshot some conversations we'll guide you it


Oh good god what have we done? If he takes your advice I can see the creation of a monster! A monster! :lol:

Seriously though that sounds like a good idea.


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## Leeds89 (Feb 13, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> Oh good god what have we done? If he takes your advice I can see the creation of a monster! A monster! :lol:
> 
> Seriously though that sounds like a good idea.


Haha what's the point in being so filthy if I can't pass the torch along :lol:

Lman best advice I can say if you do go on POF is don't take it too seriously. Girl I'm seeing now is gorgeous, she messaged me because she liked the way I came across in my profile. About 6 paragraphs of utter gibberish and nonsense I wrote after a bottle of amaretto (I get writers block  )

Good luck young padawan


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