# Why do guys...



## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

Meet a girl, really like a girl and then get scared to get involved even though they really like them?

I don't get it. Not one tiny incy wincy bit!!


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## The Cheese (Sep 22, 2012)

Because who knows? There might be a better bit of fanny coming along in a minute.


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

coz a broken heart stings like fcuk , backing off is less painful .


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## Sc4mp0 (Jun 17, 2012)

Depends if a girl thinks she's a princess and should be treated as one at all times and won't accept anything less.

That is also one of the reasons I hate parents telling their little girls and treat them like that,because they eventually grow up to act like it and the real world is far from what they think it should be.


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## justin case (Jul 31, 2012)

some don't, I've been married for 35 years to the girl i met on a blind date, and i wouldn't go back and change a thing, even if i had a time machine...lol


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Because once he's shot his bolt a few times he realises he doesn't actually like her


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## Snorbitz1uk (Sep 21, 2005)

I dont


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## BodyBuilding101 (Mar 8, 2006)

Buyers remorse? Always a better deal out there than the one they have? :innocent:


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## Ballin (Aug 24, 2011)

ewen said:


> coz a broken heart stings like fcuk , backing off is less painful .


Yea I would go along with this. Having being burnt by a biatch took me a long time to be able to trust someone again...

Before anyone says anything to to contrary sleeping around does NOT help with this.


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## DeadpoolX (Aug 28, 2012)

Most guys are afraid of rejection or commitment .

Like Ewen says , we don't wanna feel the pain of being hurt so don't put ourselves in that position very often unless we are 100% sure " she's the one " ....

Quite often we are wrong even then and end up with a broken heart anyway :sad:


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## kelvinspear86 (Sep 9, 2012)

Kaywoodham said:


> Meet a girl, really like a girl and then get scared to get involved even though they really like them?
> 
> I don't get it. Not one tiny incy wincy bit!!


i have done that in the past and the reason is becuse its easier to back down than to get rejected.

could also be lack of confidence,shyness and feel's that she is out of there reach.

i have had girls seem to flirt with me a lot then i ask and got rejected.

if the guy is in a relationship and he don't want to take it to a higher level if you will they can feel like they cant treat the girl like they want to. or the guy is just a pr**k or just wants to have fun.


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Probably got a few other birds tucked away


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

Breda said:


> Because once he's shot his bolt a few times he realises he doesn't actually like her


Usually this


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

Huntingground said:


> Probably got a few other birds tucked away


and this


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## Conscript (Sep 5, 2010)

If you sense he is scared, then you're probably right, he is scared, scared of getting hurt, and possibly of commitment itself (or possibly of taking a risk, in which case he's a coward to himself), some guys are reluctant to give up their freedom as they are incapable/unwilling to love someone more than they love themselves....


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## George-Bean (Sep 8, 2010)

Been married 20 years now, wouldn't change a thing, being married to the right woman is the making of a great life.


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Breda said:


> Because once he's shot his bolt a few times he realises he doesn't actually like her


i seen this last week :lol:

View attachment 98455


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## pez1206 (Feb 20, 2009)




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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

ewen:3584042 said:


> i seen this last week :lol:
> 
> View attachment 98455


Find of the year. Have some reps


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

Breda said:


> Because once he's shot his bolt a few times he realises he doesn't actually like her


Either this or he never really liked her as much as he made out right from the start... just told the girl what she wanted to hear to get what he wanted.


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Don't worry Kay he'll be back when he's horny


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## BatemanLondon (Jun 14, 2011)

some women dont look as hot in the morning as they did the night before ... best thing to do is get up an hour early and prepare yourself for when he wakes up...


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## DeadpoolX (Aug 28, 2012)

Kaywoodham said:


> Meet a girl, really like a girl and then get scared to get involved even though they really like them?
> 
> I don't get it. Not one tiny incy wincy bit!!


OR

They said " I really like you " and acted like they "really like you " , but when they got what they "REALLY WANTED" , it turns out out

" THEY DON'T REALLY LIKE YOU AT ALL !!!!!"


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## pez1206 (Feb 20, 2009)

Personally its probably because a guy thinks there is something better out there so doesn't want to be locked down. If he liked you that much he wouldn't be scared of a relationship.


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## Sc4mp0 (Jun 17, 2012)

Fvcking hell we all know how to raise the confidence of people,haha.


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## Ricky12345 (Jun 13, 2012)

I always do


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

Lol I did actually have this kinda happen to me recently but I couldn't give a fuk now and realise what it's about cos his face says it all.

But this is actually about a male friend of mine who has stopped seeing a girl who he really really likes but basically knows he could fall for her so has stopped seeing her now. I think he's a div and told him that too!


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## barrettmma1436114759 (Feb 28, 2011)

it could be a number of different things.

sometimes they dont want commitment, sometimes they dont want to be hurt, sometimes its a mixture.

personally i think alot of men are selfish, they want want want but arent prepared to TRY what they 'dont like'/'fear'......but men will say the same about women when it comes to soppy stuff. in the end if he isnt cut out for a serious relationship then he's not cut out for you.

and Im not trying to say i arent selfish because i went through fazes of this thing, and realised i was being unfair and a douche!


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## Queenie (May 30, 2013)

Because he didn't really like the girl?

If they like someone, they'll be with that person, if they don't, they won't.


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## RascaL18 (Nov 13, 2008)

Basically, what happens is, you tell a girl you really really like then , they are perfect, your everything I want, blah blah blah, smash their fadge a few times then say oh I'm scared to be in a relationship when she gets clingy and then you have a get out of jail free card and it leaves the girl thinking ehhhh??? Then he moves on to the next chase!


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## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

Kaywoodham said:


> Meet a girl, really like a girl and then get scared to get involved even though they really like them?
> 
> I don't get it. Not one tiny incy wincy bit!!


You may get the odd one that would back off as they are scared but the majority back off because they have either had what they wanted or just are just not that into the girl


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

It's all very well and good saying they're actually bored once they've 'smashed their vadge a few times' but I know that's not the case cos its not about me it's about a guy I know doing this to himself... Think Ewen got it spot on.


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

Kaywoodham said:


> It's all very well and good saying they're actually bored once they've 'smashed their vadge a few times' but I know that's not the case cos its not about me it's about a guy I know doing this to himself... Think Ewen got it spot on.


In the vast majority of cases it's true though.

As being scared of getting hurt thing... I don't think it's gender specific at all.


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## richgearguy (Jun 23, 2011)

Fear of intimacy. At least that's why I used to do it.


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## Pain2Gain (Feb 28, 2012)

He's probably just a fool, Kay


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## hometrainer (Apr 9, 2003)

iv 'e been burnt a few times even at my age its not always easy to bounce back sometimes you think your ready to move on and a month or so down the line you get cold feet .its taken me the best part of four years to feel ready to start again .you just get it in your head that your going to get hurt and back out before you do


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## Wheyman (Sep 6, 2011)

is this from personal experiance cos if it is the guy is crazy


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Because the sex appeal wears off pretty quickly because subconcously they wanna shag everyone else


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## Fatstuff (Mar 2, 2010)

ewen said:


> i seen this last week :lol:
> 
> View attachment 98455


Haha - always thought he was a sausage jockey!!


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## Fatstuff (Mar 2, 2010)

Kaywoodham said:


> It's all very well and good saying they're actually bored once they've 'smashed their vadge a few times' but I know that's not the case cos its not about me it's about a guy I know doing this to himself... Think Ewen got it spot on.


Hes probably told u that! I bet he's told his lad friends that 'he's smashed it and got bored'!!


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## eezy1 (Dec 14, 2010)

because once its out the funs over


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

Fatstuff said:


> Hes probably told u that! I bet he's told his lad friends that 'he's smashed it and got bored'!!


Nooo if that was the case he would tell me


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

Maybe doesn't want a relationship.?

Sometimes a man just wants to be single and sleep around. When I was single I started falling for one of my **** buddies so cut it off.

I always have 6 months to a year off between relationships. If anything happens in that time I bolt.

Maybe he's falling for her but there's things about her he doesn't like/wouldn't put up with in a relationship. So is saving himself the hassle of dumping her down the line


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

ewen said:


> coz a broken heart stings like fcuk , backing off is less painful .


That's pretty cowardly though isn't it?


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Katy said:


> That's pretty cowardly though isn't it?


yeah it is , if you never stick your neck out you never know the outcome .

id rather be straight and open and get my heart stamped on as it means atleast i tried right or wrong .


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## F.M.J (Mar 23, 2009)

Kaywoodham said:


> Lol I did actually have this kinda happen to me recently but I couldn't give a fuk now and realise what it's about cos his face says it all.
> 
> But this is actually about a male friend of mine who has stopped seeing a girl who he really really likes but basically knows he could fall for her so has stopped seeing her now. I think he's a div and told him that too!


Men don't like to put their emotions on the line, it's like this: if a man knows a girl he really likes and they get on really well BUT there is nothing there in the way of a relationship then he could A) spill the beans (his emotions) tell her how he really feels or







http://www.uk-muscle.co.uk/uploads/emoticons/default_cool.png' alt='B)'> Not do anything at all - it's easier to not do anything at all because then your emotions can't be shot to shit if the girl rejects the guy.

Putting emotions on the line is like taking down all guards, making yourself completely vulnerable, and, its not a nice feeling, it's the worst, most embarrassing feeling if rejected but the best feeling if not.

I was in this position with a gorgeous tall ginger girl, she was my colleague and we got on amazingly, sometimes we'd just go on nights out together, no one else, everyone thought we were a couple and told us we were perfect for one another but, alas, she had a boyfriend so I didn't let my guards down and tell her how I felt but she probably knew anyway. I didn't want to be a home wrecker.


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

ewen said:


> yeah it is , if you never stick your neck out you never know the outcome .
> 
> id rather be straight and open and get my heart stamped on as it means atleast i tried right or wrong .


I agree hun. Sometimes you have to take risks in life


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## hongman (Sep 26, 2012)

Katy said:


> I agree hun. Sometimes you have to take risks in life


Anyone with any sense would agree with that statement, however it is MUCH easier said than done for a lot of people.

Especially when past experiences "teach" you just how badly you can get burnt, before learning the feeling of when it pays off!


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## digitalis (Sep 13, 2011)

ewen said:


> coz a broken heart stings like fcuk , backing off is less painful .


Spot on.


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

hongman said:


> Anyone with any sense would agree with that statement, however it is MUCH easier said than done for a lot of people.
> 
> Especially when past experiences "teach" you just how badly you can get burnt, before learning the feeling of when it pays off!


Yes, I agree. I've been there and have had to brave it despite been bitten before and can see why some people bow out...but it's a shame.


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## Guest (Oct 24, 2012)

There comes a time when you meet someone that you make the decision to either go for it 100% or keep it casual. If you are really into the person, and they are into you, then go for it. Broken hearts hurt , but so does PIP , they both go away in time.


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## Ahal84 (Jun 2, 2010)

PIP goes away quicker though


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## Guest (Oct 24, 2012)

Ahal84 said:


> PIP goes away quicker though


You obviously haven't fked up a jab badly then lol


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## Wheyman (Sep 6, 2011)

Could be the timing is not ideal.

When you like someone and hope its going to last but the timing is wrong.

I have made this mistake I was very attracted to a girl for a long time but we were never single at the same time, then we did after about 4 years of knowing each other. We got together when I was working stupid hours and we broke up about it, We went from great friends with a potential futur to exes.


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## hongman (Sep 26, 2012)

Orrr

If there is more at stake than just losing them as a friend if it didnt work out, I.E same group of long term friends, particularly when there are other relationships in that group...


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## Guest (Oct 24, 2012)

My philosophy is you have to be in it to win it. So no point holding back forever. You never know, you might actually be happy


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

How about we all stop guessing and you just ask him @Kaywoodham :lol:


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Maybe hes a manhole patroller


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## achilles88 (Aug 27, 2010)

ewen said:


> coz a broken heart stings like fcuk , backing off is less painful .


THIS!! was seeing a girl recently that i really like, had to back away because it brought back memories of when i was with a certain sum 1 and everything was going great and rosey until she shattered my heart to pieces, much rather not get my self in that situation again, so if i start to feel any kind of emotional attachment to a bird now i just cut and run.


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

lolling at the irony from the OP...."Oh Uriel - I like you too much to carry on seeing you " PMSL = grow up kay - sometime it works out sometimes it doesnt lol....its a numbers game


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

i personally have fuked birds i'd love to see and other times i'd run like the wind - just like you


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## haza1234 (Jan 8, 2012)

Cause Its one hole or many holes, Second option being the favourite..


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## Incredible Bulk (Sep 19, 2007)

i'm with rack... sometimes a poke is just a poke.

a guy thinks "cool, a new hole to poke"

a girl thinks "cool, lets pick out hats and venues!"

some are in for love, some are just in for a pump n dump


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Incredible Bulk said:


> i'm with rack... sometimes a poke is just a poke.
> 
> a guy thinks "cool, a new hole to poke"
> 
> ...


some just fcuk every thing they can :lol:


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## Incredible Bulk (Sep 19, 2007)

ewen said:


> some just fcuk every thing they can :lol:


ha ha ha, some just chase everything they can eh?!


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## Guest (Oct 24, 2012)

Purely depends on the girl tbh


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Incredible Bulk said:


> ha ha ha, some just chase everything they can eh?!


guys gotta have fun and ive never been bothered who with 

i expect your pretty similar given your full of test .


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## Queenie (May 30, 2013)

Does it not honestly boil down to the woman involved?

I've known men to meet perfectly lovely women, sleep with them and then leave them saying they need space, then 2 weeks later they're 'seeing someone' - just shows that the first girl wasn't right for them for some reason.

Either way, I don't think this sort of stuff needs to be over analysed by either party.


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

RXQueenie said:


> Does it not honestly boil down to the woman involved?
> 
> I've known men to meet perfectly lovely women, sleep with them and then leave them saying they need space, then 2 weeks later they're 'seeing someone' - just shows that the first girl wasn't right for them for some reason.
> 
> Either way, I don't think this sort of stuff needs to be over analysed by either party.


course its the womans fault their all slags


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## Dezw (May 13, 2009)

I was only like that with girls I wanted to play with, but not see seriously.

Chicks I really liked I behaved differently.


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## Queenie (May 30, 2013)

Dezw said:


> I was only like that with girls I wanted to play with, but not see seriously.
> 
> Chicks I really liked I behaved differently.


How do u know who to behave differently with? Is it down to attraction?


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Primeval instinct for me. You just know.


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## Dezw (May 13, 2009)

RXQueenie said:


> How do u know who to behave differently with? Is it down to attraction?


Attraction mostly, but there is some I would describe as super hot but their personality or other factors put me off them.

There is really only two girls I my entire life I totally connected with on all levels and was attracted to, one is my wife.


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## Magic Torch (May 30, 2005)

Life would be so much easier if people said what they thought!


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Magic Torch said:


> Life would be so much easier if people said what they thought!


Yeah thats it stoke the fire, you sort this one out now you git !

:lol:


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Dezw said:


> Attraction mostly, but there is some I would describe as super hot but their personality or other factors put me off them.
> 
> There is really only two girls I my entire life I totally connected with on all levels and was attracted to, one is my wife.


the other her sister :lol:


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## HJL (Apr 26, 2009)

this is me all over! i could meet the perfect girl....and i wouldnt want to get serious. just dont let myself get that far in emotionaly. got a bird who ive been sha55ing for a while now and il never get better in the bed but she aint for me. i always think i may get a nicer bird, plus i probs cant keep it in my pants lol. only 22 so many il grow out of it.

i just like to do my own thing, id probs be a burden on a nice girl lol. Il probs die an old lonely man. Im always looking for a nice lady, but maybe il never be satisfied with what ive got.


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Kaywoodham said:


> Meet a girl, really like a girl and then get scared to get involved even though they really like them?
> 
> I don't get it. Not one tiny incy wincy bit!!


Let me translate for you Kay.

" cant be ar*ed with this one, lets make a polite excuse to dump them and try and spare there feelings "


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## hackskii (Jul 27, 2003)

Kaywoodham said:


> Meet a girl, really like a girl and then get scared to get involved even though they really like them?
> 
> I don't get it. Not one tiny incy wincy bit!!


Fear of getting hurt.

But the problem with that is love is one of the best things life has to offer, doing the above just cheats self.


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## Craig660 (Dec 8, 2005)

Breda said:


> Because once he's shot his bolt a few times he realises he doesn't actually like her


Or he was lying about liking her,


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

Cause some people like me have been so hurt before that we get scared when women get to close, cause we dont want to end up loving you only to loose you.


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

its possible to really, really fancy someone, get them and then you realise their human, then that big pedastool you put them

on soon falls, you go off them as fast as you liked them and move on, isn't weird that you can be soooo in to someone one minute and

not the next?

Bottom line is you have to be honest with yourself, what do u really want? lustmance or romance?

as soon as you know that then you can be honest with people, nothing worse than LETTING someone fall for you

only to tell them I dont want anything serious, i hate game players- both men and women equally.


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## HJL (Apr 26, 2009)

Tommy10 said:


> its possible to really, really fancy someone, get them and then you realise their human, then that big pedastool you put them
> 
> on soon falls, you go off them as fast as you liked them and move on, isn't weird that you can be soooo in to someone one minute and
> 
> not the next?


yes exactly! see a girl in a club or walk down the street and u think fk me shes perfect ect ect......

then u actualy meet her and see her a few times and realize stuff about her you hate lol


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## hackskii (Jul 27, 2003)

It takes time to learn about someone, you just don't look at them and say bang, that's the one.

The grass is not always greener on the other side either.

It is all about compatibility, trust me, the looks go after a time, on both sides of the fence, if looks what it is all about, nobody would ever be happy.


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

i totally dont agree about fear of getting hurt - so that is a personal odd ball to a few.....we all get hurt - i have 2 failed mariages...

I am very into my gf i have been seeing for about 5 months.....have never baulked onece with her.....all the birds i fuked before her didnt meet the mark - simple as...nothing to do with fear....only an immature mal adjusted mincer fears rerlationships imo


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Uriel said:


> i totally dont agree about fear of getting hurt - so that is a personal odd ball to a few.....we all get hurt - i have 2 failed mariages...
> 
> I am very into my gf i have been seeing for about 5 months.....have never baulked onece with her.....all the birds i fuked before her didnt meet the mark - simple as...nothing to do with fear....only an immature mal adjusted mincer fears rerlationships imo


Actually I agree with you , what guy actually says to himself " I like her but don't wanna get hurt " ? .. it's more like " I like her but want to spread my muck ".


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

i have been more of a player than most on here could imagine, straighter than an arrow for the right woman, deeper than the marianus trench and i still snigger at some of the relationshipe tripe posted on ukm but when a bloke and a brd hit it off - the bullsh1t stops - and that is the way of it..lmao


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Uriel said:


> i have been more of a player than most on here could imagine, straighter than an arrow for the right woman, deeper than the marianus trench and i still snigger at some of the relationshipe tripe posted on ukm but when a bloke and a brd hit it off - the bullsh1t stops - and that is the way of it..lmao


Yup u certainly see a change In some members behaviour


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Uriel said:


> i totally dont agree about fear of getting hurt - so that is a personal odd ball to a few.....we all get hurt - i have 2 failed mariages...
> 
> I am very into my gf i have been seeing for about 5 months.....have never baulked onece with her.....all the birds i fuked before her didnt meet the mark - simple as...nothing to do with fear....only an immature mal adjusted mincer fears rerlationships imo


but your current beau is a boll up doll im surprised its not popped with you pumping away at it .


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Tommy10 said:


> Yup u certainly see a change In some members behaviour


your not wrong tom lol


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

ewen said:


> but your current beau is a boll up doll im surprised its not popped with you pumping away at it .


mate - my gf is a beautiful, black, a successfull business woman, funny, articulate, driven, intelligent, independant and amzing woman any way its measured.......i doubt youd get her discarded tampons if you tried chatting them up lol


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

Well I can see this thread turning sour lol.

The guy has nothing to lose, in a perfectly happy place in his life with not a problem in the way and really does like her and she likes him back. I just think its sad that's all. So as I said from knowing him think Ewen was spot on first.


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

Tommy10 said:


> Yup u certainly see a change In some members behaviour


haha..i'm not certain thats aimed at me....if it is - i would lol......the things i have done on here are light scratches on the surface of a mile deep trench that often ran concurrent with a score of other projects...seriously - i do lol hard at the player thing........most are mere guppys in a game where great whites are still the bait pmsl


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Uriel said:


> mate - my gf is a beautiful, black, a successfull business woman, funny, articulate, driven, intelligent, independant and amzing woman any way its measured.......i doubt youd get her discarded tampons if you tried chatting them up lol


yeah properly fit ....
View attachment 98555


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

lolling at the silly little boy


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

He's just young, not necessarily silly. How we all learn I guess


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Kaywoodham:3586167 said:


> Well I can see this thread turning sour lol.
> 
> The guy has nothing to lose, in a perfectly happy place in his life with not a problem in the way and really does like her and she likes him back. I just think its sad that's all. So as I said from knowing him think Ewen was spot on first.


He really doesn't like her


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

@Breda have I told u i love u today?


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## Papa Lazarou (Jul 4, 2007)

Kaywoodham said:


> Meet a girl, really like a girl and then get scared to get involved even though they really like them?
> 
> I don't get it. Not one tiny incy wincy bit!!


They aren't scared, they just ain't that into you. Really.


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

ha ha....some people dont know there is a game, some play the game, some are the game, some get sidelined, some take trophies.........we didnt invent the game but its right there...

OP - he is playing his hand ffs - pmsl


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

Sometimes when u know someone u just know them, I can't explain it and I duno if anyone knows what I mean.. But that's how I know him..

But Uriel has got it spot on. Wheyyyy sorted. Wicked.

Night y'all


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## hackskii (Jul 27, 2003)

Uriel said:


> haha..i'm not certain thats aimed at me....if it is - i would lol......the things i have done on here are light scratches on the surface of a mile deep trench that often ran concurrent with a score of other projects...seriously - i do lol hard at the player thing........most are mere guppys in a game where great whites are still the bait pmsl


I have been with many women myself, but that is not a badge of honor I wear either.

Reminds me of that Alpha crap TBH.

Anyone saying it is not.


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

hackskii said:


> I have been with many women myself, but that is not a badge of honor I wear either.
> 
> Reminds me of that Alpha crap TBH.
> 
> Anyone saying it is not.


you mean like those that need to spout it all the time are just full of sh1t trying to convince themselves and anyone daft enough to listen and pay to listen lol


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## dtlv (Jul 24, 2009)

I think fear always plays a part when a man or a woman doesn't take the risk of being with someone they really like... after all, the pay off could be the most happy situation their life could ever have, so why not go for it if not for fear of it not working out or not being what a person wanted it to be?

I don't however think the fear is always about fear of getting hurt, it can also be fear of not feeling macho and in control, it can be fear of losing self identity if it would mean changing lifestyle and that persons view of the way they are, it could be fear of lack of ability to make it work/that not might not last, or fear that such a concept is total illusion and not real, fear that the person they have fallen for isn't who they seem... or even fear that it would work and that they'd lose self identity as a martyr. It can be fear of all manner of things or combination of things and or as well as fear of being hurt.

People don't like to think of themselves as being afraid though, so they bury it under other ideas.

You can tell the ones who are most afraid though - they are the ones who are most afraid to admit they are afraid, bury it the deepest, convince themselves they are not, and usually talk most about not being afraid and that they are about other things.

Truth is everyone is afraid on some basis and to some degree, is just some people admit it to themselves and are prepared to take the risk despite it.


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## vetran (Oct 17, 2009)

Kaywoodham said:


> *Meet a girl, really like a girl and then get scared to get involved even though they really like them?*
> 
> I don't get it. Not one tiny incy wincy bit!!


i ussually let then no the morning depends whether i get treated with bacon


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## Conscript (Sep 5, 2010)

ewen said:


> you mean like those that need to spout it all the time are just full of sh1t trying to convince themselves and anyone daft enough to listen and pay to listen lol


It's just a smoke screen projected by the defence mechanisms to cover the wounds, deep fvcking wounds so painful they can never be accepted......buckled and warped from the point of no return lol


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

lol

some guys in here believe their own bs imo.

We pick strategies to either get laid or meet someone for life.

I have done both many times, i'm surprised all guy on here don't recognise they do the same...

I admited i have been hurt in the past, i admit i fuked around before and after being hurt having lightweight relationships for sex and fun and now i admit to being in a commited exclusive deeper relationship again....i have no axe to grind and nothing to hide...pmsl...maybe i'm just not a big drama queen


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Uriel said:


> haha..i'm not certain thats aimed at me....if it is - i would lol......the things i have done on here are light scratches on the surface of a mile deep trench that often ran concurrent with a score of other projects...seriously - i do lol hard at the player thing........most are mere guppys in a game where great whites are still the bait pmsl


No dude we've all spread the love at some point


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

Tommy10 said:


> No dude we've all spread the love at some point


exactly tommy.....if some guys get the fear of their little brittle egos being crushed then boo fuking hoo...not me lol


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## Tinkerbella (Feb 26, 2006)

Kaywoodham said:


> Meet a girl, really like a girl and then get scared to get involved even though they really like them?
> 
> I don't get it. Not one tiny incy wincy bit!!


It's not just men Kay, I've ended every single adult relationship I've been in because I hate commitment - I like the thought of it, but hate the actual doing of it, I will find fault/reasons why it won't work and then end it!


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

Tinkerbella said:


> It's not just men Kay, I've ended every single adult relationship I've been in because I hate commitment - I like the thought of it, but hate the actual doing of it, I will find fault/reasons why it won't work and then end it!


I've done the same actually...

We are strange creatures lol


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## Tinkerbella (Feb 26, 2006)

We are indeedy my darling - best thing to do is roll with it, never try to fathom someone elses motives and one day someone will be special enough to stick with you


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## Fatstuff (Mar 2, 2010)

Tinkerbella said:


> We are indeedy my darling - best thing to do is roll with it, never try to fathom someone elses motives and one day someone will be special enough to stick with you


Probably the best advice in a thread full of willy waving. :lol:


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

Tinkerbella said:


> We are indeedy my darling - best thing to do is roll with it, never try to fathom someone elses motives and one day someone will be special enough to stick with you


I just feel really sad for my friend right now. Poor bugger. Think it is just a being young thing.. He also is trying to convince himself nothing hurts him or will hurt him. But we all do it.


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## VeNuM (Aug 14, 2011)

Kaywoodham said:


> I just feel really sad for my friend right now. Poor bugger. Think it is just a being young thing.. He also is trying to convince himself nothing hurts him or will hurt him. But we all do it.


Your friend is a rock.


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## Tinkerbella (Feb 26, 2006)

Kaywoodham said:


> I just feel really sad for my friend right now. Poor bugger. Think it is just a being young thing.. He also is trying to convince himself nothing hurts him or will hurt him. But we all do it.


It's not just young un's I know plenty of 'grown up's' who do it (moi is a case in point) and yes, we all pretend nothing hurts us that we're all footloose and fancy free but the truth is out there...doladododoladodo *spooky music*


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## Guest (Oct 25, 2012)

No one is invunerable to being hurt in relationships, and anyone who'd say otherwise is kidding themselves, or just trying to be an 'ardcase.

Everyone is vunerable on the inside, everyone.


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## hackskii (Jul 27, 2003)

I think a good thing to do is to go into it with no expectations, and just have a good time with the experience of it.

Perhaps talk to the other person to see how he or she really is.

It is difficult enough knowing self, let alone someone else.


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## Dezw (May 13, 2009)

ewen said:


> the other her sister :lol:


If I mention the others name the wife won't talk to me lol, she knows we were close.


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

BatemanLondon said:


> some women dont look as hot in the morning as they did the night before ... best thing to do is get up an hour early and prepare yourself for when he wakes up...


lol or just refuse to stay the night untill he's well hooked


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

Loveleelady said:


> lol or just refuse to stay the night untill he's well hooked


lol....like you maybe wont get hooked well before him


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## just-that-ek (Nov 10, 2011)

No idea why do guys...but my god why do you have such a hot avi! :wub:


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## C.Hill (Nov 21, 2010)

Men confuse love with lust all too easily.


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

Uriel said:


> lol....like you maybe wont get hooked well before him


ha ha actually id love it if it did happen that way, hasn't yet, but im open to the experience


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## Guest (Oct 27, 2012)

Now see , I had met someone few weeks back, started dating, was open and honest from day one, knew that if it was gonna go pear shaped i'd get that thrown back at me. Well it went pear shaped and now because I have been open an honest, I must be hiding something ! ?????????????????

I'll never understand women tbh.

Sufficed to say, I am now single again. lol Not sticking around for head games thank you very much , way too long in the tooth for that.


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## liam0810 (Jan 6, 2011)

OldManRiver said:


> Now see , I had met someone few weeks back, started dating, was open and honest from day one, knew that if it was gonna go pear shaped i'd get that thrown back at me. Well it went pear shaped and now because I have been open an honest, I must be hiding something ! ?????????????????
> 
> I'll never understand women tbh.
> 
> Sufficed to say, I am now single again. lol Not sticking around for head games thank you very much , way too long in the tooth for that.


Had the same mate, was having a bit of fun with a girl a few years ago and always was straight saying that's all it was. Few weeks down the line she starts telling me how she wants to be with me etc. I tell her that she knew where she stood and I've been honest but I turned out to be a b4stard in her eyes. I think girls like that think that web though that's what you say they can win you over and when they can't it hurts them.


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## Guest (Oct 27, 2012)

liam0810 said:


> Had the same mate, was having a bit of fun with a girl a few years ago and always was straight saying that's all it was. Few weeks down the line she starts telling me how she wants to be with me etc. I tell her that she knew where she stood and I've been honest but I turned out to be a b4stard in her eyes. I think girls like that think that web though that's what you say they can win you over and when they can't it hurts them.


I've no idea tbh with you mate, all I was , was a gentleman, upfront about why I don't work, she starts off accepting it, it wasn't an issue, then this morning I start getting texts telling me "how it will be"

Which is what I did, when I replied how it won't be, bye bye. Now I am getting the obligatory 200 texts of how it's all my fault, and because I refused to bang on about my ex's, i'm hiding something from her.

I'm sticking to weights, at least they don't fk with your swede.


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## liam0810 (Jan 6, 2011)

OldManRiver said:


> I've no idea tbh with you mate, all I was , was a gentleman, upfront about why I don't work, she starts off accepting it, it wasn't an issue, then this morning I start getting texts telling me "how it will be"
> 
> Which is what I did, when I replied how it won't be, bye bye. Now I am getting the obligatory 200 texts of how it's all my fault, and because I refused to bang on about my ex's, i'm hiding something from her.
> 
> I'm sticking to weights, at least they don't fk with your swede.


Exactly mate! The iron never lies or judges you!

200 texts a day? I hope she's on unlimited texts or her bill is gonna be massive


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## Guest (Oct 27, 2012)

I hope she runs out of her text limit. Will serve her right lol .

I aint replying , i gotta pay for my fking texts. lol


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## Replicator (Apr 4, 2009)

Kaywoodham said:


> Meet a girl, really like a girl and then get scared to get involved even though they really like them?
> 
> I don't get it. Not one tiny incy wincy bit!!


I dont know iether all I can say is I was never like that Kay ....in my earlier years my trouble was being involved with too many !!!


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

Fuk yeah 200 texts a day!? That's well fuked up. Where did u meet her!? Lol.


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## Guest (Oct 27, 2012)

because of this >


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## dtlv (Jul 24, 2009)

liam0810 said:


> Had the same mate, was having a bit of fun with a girl a few years ago and always was straight saying that's all it was. Few weeks down the line she starts telling me how she wants to be with me etc. I tell her that she knew where she stood and I've been honest but I turned out to be a b4stard in her eyes. I think girls like that think that web though that's what you say they can win you over and when they can't it hurts them.


Not the same exactly, but this with all the texts reminds me of my first stalker experience when a girl who I didn't even go out with, and who I was nothing but honest with about not wanting anything serious with, went total stalker on me.... was before my first travelling trip; I quit my job and had a one night stand with a girl who I used to work with (who I'd been friends with for quite a while) at the end of my leaving do. We talked about it the next morning, agreed it would be just a one off thing and all seemed fine. Was still about three weeks before me flying out at this point, and during those three weeks we met up maybe two or three times for a drink, but no hanky panky or talk of anything happening between us... until the last time when she suggested that when I get back we hook up and go out as a couple. I said no, but did say I would look her up just to say hi on my return and we could still stay friends. She seemed fine about it.

Anyway, fast forward three months to when I get back - am back a few days and text one of mates (who doesn't know this girl) my new number. About half an hour later my phone starts ringing, and its her. She's like "how are you, where have you been, why didn't you call me immediately when you got back?" I tell her am fine and that I wasn't of the impression that I was under any obligation to call her but nice to hear from her, and she seems ok about it. She asks if we can meet up but I tell her I'm busy for a while, but maybe in a week or two. She sounds angry and puts the phone down. I think wonder how she got my new number as I'd only given it to one person who I didn't think knew her - so I call and ask him.

Turns out while I was away she'd been rounding up my friends, stalking them a bit, and telling them that I'd agreed to marry her on my return :lol: She had told them she was worried because she had lost her old SIM and number so if i tried to get hold of her I wouldn't be able, so she'd asked them to let her know if I got in touch with any of them, and not to mention it to me as she wanted to surprise me with something... lmao, damn right it was a surprise!!!

Anyway I called her and had words with her, and she told me on the phone it was my mates getting ther wrong idea etc... but as soon as the phone was put down, the texts started.... " you promised this, that, blah blah blah, you led me on!!!" seventy the first day, around a hundred the next day, phone totally switched off the next day, but when i switched it back on the following day over two hundred new texts from her (not sure how many, exceeded the memory of 200 on my phone)... I then ditched the number, and she somehow tracked down my mums number!!!

Took me two months to get rid of her. Didn't date for about a year after that, almost put me off dating completely!!!


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

Iv had a guy trying to message me on Facebook. I've been civil but that's it Well ok I've been taking the p1ss a bit aswell. Anyway he in the last 2 days I've had about 5 messages just asking me if I was free for a drink and just keep saying no sorry... Just had one then asking me again and saying he would take me somewhere really nice and away from prying eyes so he didn't add problems with his ex... GET TO FUK was my response now lol.


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## Guest (Oct 27, 2012)

Kaywoodham said:


> Fuk yeah 200 texts a day!? That's well fuked up. Where did u meet her!? Lol.


lol alright 200 is probably an overstatement. I saw her in the street a few times, eventually asked her out and all was fine, until today when it all went pear shaped thanks to head games.

Apparantly it's all my fault for not talking about all my past relationships with her. And because I haven't done that, i'm a mass murderer or something sinister. Honestly I think i'm just gonna stay single from here on in. You'd think a guy with no skeletons, no kids, no mad ex's wouldn't be suspicious ! lol wtf


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

That is wierd. Why was she so desperate to know anyway!? I mean I've asked the odd few questions about ex's or whatever before but someone's past isn't what's meant to matter its about your future and what happens from there on in... I think. Lol.


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## Guest (Oct 27, 2012)

I've absolutely no idea, and it's her reason for thinking i'm hiding something.

End of the day, I refuse to constantly be compared to her abusive ex's, and i've done nothing but be a perfect gent the times we've been together. She even said she'd never live with a man again, so wtf is the point of even trying to make a go of something if the rules are set out 5 years before you even need think about them lol

It's her loss. I can't be doing with head games.


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

Well u r well rid. Girls I've known that are obsessed with their fellas ex's always use the information they get out of them against them at some point or as an excuse for certain behaviour. Some people use the past as a weapon sometimes, actually most of the time. Ontop of that aswell she probably wanted some sort of reassurance she was the best woman ud ever been with, she's kicked off cos she's insecure she weren't. 100%


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## liam0810 (Jan 6, 2011)

Kaywoodham said:


> Well u r well rid. Girls I've known that are obsessed with their fellas ex's always use the information they get out of them against them at some point or as an excuse for certain behaviour. Some people use the past as a weapon sometimes, actually most of the time. Ontop of that aswell she probably wanted some sort of reassurance she was the best woman ud ever been with, she's kicked off cos she's insecure she weren't. 100%


100% on that. Again you are talking sense for a change!


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

I'm a clever dirty hooker pirate see 

Mind it's not just women that do that, my ex hated the fact id ever been with anyone else and cos he knew I cheated on a bf once was constantly accusing me of it with him, yet never would I of even had a thought of going near someone else whilst with him.

People are Wierd.


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## jakob (Sep 1, 2012)

Past is always better off staying in the past.

I don't really understand why people want to know the ins and outs of what happened before them because it should have no bearing on what happens going forward, and 9 times out of 10 it's not what they want to hear and they find a way to kick off about it or bring it up in an argument further down the line.

But as Kay said, people are weird!


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## jake87 (May 7, 2010)

Women are weirder than people


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## LIL-SCOOB-23 (Jun 16, 2012)

Ex is an example of what not to have in your life and doesn't need to be brought up .. personally if a person is to scared of asking a girl out or getting involved with her as he is to scared of loosing her or getting hearet broken .. i admit iv been in that situation before but i just went ahead and asked her as i had nothing to loose lol


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

Because if someone doesn't know everything they don't feel in control when technically is there any need to be in control of someone!? Nope.


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

Did she say 'arrgghhhh' and run away scoob?


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## LIL-SCOOB-23 (Jun 16, 2012)

Kaywoodham said:


> Did she say 'arrgghhhh' and run away scoob?


she couldn't run away she was in a wheelchair lol jokes , nah she said no she was liking someone else her loss at the end of the day , atleast i tryed ..


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## Guest (Oct 27, 2012)

Kaywoodham said:


> Well u r well rid. Girls I've known that are obsessed with their fellas ex's always use the information they get out of them against them at some point or as an excuse for certain behaviour. Some people use the past as a weapon sometimes, actually most of the time. Ontop of that aswell she probably wanted some sort of reassurance she was the best woman ud ever been with, she's kicked off cos she's insecure she weren't. 100%


Well now it's being twisted and apparantly she saw it in my eyes I was going to turn on her last thursday. She invites me to stay the night , then informs me that she'll never live with a bloke. Then because I questioned what she was on about, she said I wasnt invited and that I was using her for sex, which would be a novelty seeing as we've not slept together. Now she's making out this is all my fault and that I am not a nice bloke, not the bloke she thought I was because I was after her for 1 thing, and that I would try to control her if I lived with her and control her kids...

tbh I am gobsmacked. I've had a well lucky escape. What a nutjob.


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

Yeh fuk her. Find another. I hate games. Probably the reason why I been single so long lol.


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## jake87 (May 7, 2010)

Kaywoodham said:


> Iv had a guy trying to message me on Facebook. I've been civil but that's it Well ok I've been taking the p1ss a bit aswell. Anyway he in the last 2 days I've had about 5 messages just asking me if I was free for a drink and just keep saying no sorry... Just had one then asking me again and saying he would take me somewhere really nice and away from prying eyes so he didn't add problems with his ex... GET TO FUK was my response now lol.


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## Guest (Oct 27, 2012)

Kaywoodham said:


> Yeh fuk her. Find another. I hate games. Probably the reason why I been single so long lol.


lol Find another !!! It took me 4 years to find that one. I think i'm gonna give it a miss from now on lol Reminds me why I never bother with relationships when people just dunno how to be normal.


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## Guest (Nov 28, 2012)

When ever I've backed off from a woman its always because it was getting to heavy and I wanted to keep dipping my wick elsewhere.

My current gf, I couldn't commit to for 18 months for this and various other reasons.

She stuck around and we finally got together 4 weeks ago and I'm the happiest I've been for years.


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

OldManRiver said:


> Well now it's being twisted and apparantly she saw it in my eyes I was going to turn on her last thursday. She invites me to stay the night , then informs me that she'll never live with a bloke. Then because I questioned what she was on about, she said I wasnt invited and that I was using her for sex, which would be a novelty seeing as we've not slept together. Now she's making out this is all my fault and that I am not a nice bloke, not the bloke she thought I was because I was after her for 1 thing, and that I would try to control her if I lived with her and control her kids...
> 
> tbh I am gobsmacked. I've had a well lucky escape. What a nutjob.


sounds like shes a bit damaged from her past and untill she goes get herself sorted and shakes all that out of her shes just gonna be thinking all men same

OR sounds like its low self esteem thinks thats the only man shes worth


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## Guest (Nov 28, 2012)

Loveleelady said:


> sounds like shes a bit damaged from her past and untill she goes get herself sorted and shakes all that out of her shes just gonna be thinking all men same
> 
> OR sounds like its low self esteem thinks thats the only man shes worth


Really ? Well she's got 3 divorces under her belt, and she always banged on about how bad her ex's were, so I guess that's probably it. It's been weeks, but i'm still angry, i'm not like that, and I don't like being portrayed like that either. I don't often get into any kind of relationship, enough to put me off all together tbh. lol


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Kay, maybe he didn't consider you a "keeper". Maybe you "line of work" may have put him off?

Have you asked him? Chatted to him about it?


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## Sc4mp0 (Jun 17, 2012)

Huntingground said:


> Kay, maybe he didn't consider you a "keeper". Maybe you "line of work" may have put him off?
> 
> Have you asked him? Chatted to him about it?


Talk about boot to the teeth,Haha.


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

OldManRiver said:


> Really ? Well she's got 3 divorces under her belt, and she always banged on about how bad her ex's were, so I guess that's probably it. It's been weeks, but i'm still angry, i'm not like that, and I don't like being portrayed like that either. I don't often get into any kind of relationship, enough to put me off all together tbh. lol


why you so angry - thats not good - thats about you not her - time to get over it, move on


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## Guest (Nov 29, 2012)

Loveleelady said:


> why you so angry - thats not good - thats about you not her - time to get over it, move on


Yeah I know, guess I just don't like ppl going around making up [email protected] about me when I can do that myself


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

I have met a girl, 24yo, blonde super fit and I really fancy her. No action though as I have a missus and 2 kids.

Sometimes I wish I was single, especially when on 3g+ of gear


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## zack amin (Mar 13, 2012)

Huntingground said:


> I have met a girl, 24yo, blonde super fit and I really fancy her. No action though as I have a missus and 2 kids.
> 
> Sometimes I wish I was single, especially when on 3g+ of gear


send her along to us younger guys then, all you oldies hoggin the mac n cheese


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Eh, less of the "oldies".

I may pop down to see her laters


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## LIL-SCOOB-23 (Jun 16, 2012)

OldManRiver said:


> Yeah I know, guess I just don't like ppl going around making up [email protected] about me when I can do that myself


bud people only make up crap cos there either jelous of haven't got a life them selves &have nothing else better to do ! go out there get a decent girl under ur arm mate .. or wait for a decent one too come along


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## lucs (Apr 8, 2011)

Huntingground said:


> I have met a girl, 24yo, blonde super fit and I really fancy her. No action though as I have a missus and 2 kids.
> 
> Sometimes I wish I was single, especially when on 3g+ of gear


grass rarely turns out to be greener mate


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

lucanuk said:


> grass rarely turns out to be greener mate


Correct, would love to have a go of her but wouldn't do it to my missus and not worth losing kids for - 2yo boy who follows me about and idolises me and 5yo girl who is a bit of a drama queen but is very adorable. No chance.


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