# Thorn between two roses . Sh!!!!!!T



## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

*Posh Cat with car / Dirty blonde with kid*​
Posh Cat with car 1773.91%Dirty blonde with kid626.09%


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Right , really need your help lads ...

Been speeking to two girls for a while now , never met them just met over facebook and txted both of them a hell of a lot LOL needless to say they dot no about eachother ... Not exactly cheating is it . pffft

Right the first one , cat . (not a actual cat) before *JP *:cowboy:makes that joke :bounce:  <<<cat

21, brunette . pretty damn hot , lives in a very posh area and drives a Megane ST. Niiiiiiiiiiiice

Second one, called alicia . She is fcking gawjus . and i mean GAWJUS!!! (fcuk know's why she's looking at me)  <<<alicia

Lives in a decent area, doesn't drive (neither do i, so that would make it a bit harder) But she's got a 2 year old kid.

Best thing is ... i did some background work and there is NO possible way they can know eachother

And the sh!t thing is ... they both wana meet me 2nyt . WTF !!!!!

And the even sh!tter thing is , im gunna have to sack the gym off 2nyt to give me time to clean my flat .

Before any1 says ... THREE-SOME ... i already asked one if she's ever had one the other nyt wen i was drunk. and she seems repulsed , so i just blamed that text on my mate LOL

To be honest, im leaning more towards cat . (the posh one) But they both seem really nice girls

Everytime im in this situation, many of you will have been in the same... as soon as 1 stops talking to you the other 1 does too .

Bottom line is ... im a right soft ar$e wen it comes to girls and im stuck lol


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

both tick all the boxes for me . especially the "wtf are they doing looking at me box"

But blondie's got a kid and no car.


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## vandangos (Feb 25, 2009)

lol who are you meeting tonight then? and how did you get around it. ummm tbh i would go for cat, but if u can...keep them sweet, shag both then go for cat lol thats what i would try and do anyway. just dont let them find out about eachother! lol could go seriously tits up, make sure you delete your texts or dont leave your phone lying around also put it on silent wouldnt be good if one kept texting you while you were with the other lol good luck! and im sure most of the ukm members will join in on this post lol plenty of help here lol


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## TryingToGetBig (May 20, 2010)

Can you see one tonight and one tomorrow night, then decide after you met them for real. Reps if you bang them both but we will need photo evidence lol


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## nobody (Apr 20, 2009)

well id give them both a go (not on same night lol) you might not get on with them, could be right up their own.

Best of luck with it


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## golfgttdi (Oct 6, 2010)

Go for alicia, no brainer really as she has a kid so you KNOW she takes the c o c k ;-)


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## BatemanLondon (Jun 14, 2011)

run them both mate , like tren and test ... go for both.

If i had to pick, Cat gets my vote just because i like her serious and sexy look in her picture and she is posh !

enjoy the reps bro


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

Monsterballs you have absolutely no idea what luck you have that i've just stumbled upon this as now my playing days are over I'd like to others to benefit from my overly ample pimp knowledge. How did you get stuck with meeting them both on the same night? Can't you tell the other one that you have to cover at work tonight but you could meet her tomorrow/weekend? You need to sample both goods/experience to make proper judgement because all that glitters is not gold my friend. :rockon:


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Van you sound like uve done this before.

yeah i could 'meat' one 2nyt and one 2mra but i can garentee i will meet one 2nyt and then il get hooked on her. LOL

Times are tough ,

My phones gta screen lock that comes on after 5 seconds (i've done this before too, and learnt from my mistakes) lol

Ive gta CCTV camera outside my toilet window , i suppose i could get her in there ( its no more than 4x4ft lol )And turn the camera pointing in the window :bounce:


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## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

so if they are the roses are you the pr**k inbetween? (sorry mate.... couldnt resist the obvious joke lol).

see em both (not on same night tho - thats asking for trouble!). as long as your not commited to either of them then you are doing nothing wrong and you may find out that your opinions of them change when you see them face to face, instead of posed for photos, and actually talk to them instead of thought out emails.

have fun finding out


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## daniron (Jul 26, 2011)

I'd go for the brunette mate.. hot, loaded, no baggage, has her own car... no brainer bud!

Have a good night


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

madmuscles said:


> Monsterballs you have absolutely no idea what luck you have that i've just stumbled upon this as now my playing days are over I'd like to others to benefit from my overly ample pimp knowledge. How did you get stuck with meeting them both on the same night? Can't you tell the other one that you have to cover at work tonight but you could meet her tomorrow/weekend? You need to sample both goods/experience to make proper judgement because all that glitters is not gold my friend. :rockon:


BRAINWAVE !!!! i'l tell the one with the kid ... "im really sorry but im babysitting my 2month old nephew" BOOM. problem solved !! girls love that sh!t .


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Reps to every1 here NOT [email protected]


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## cellaratt (Jul 16, 2008)

monsterballs said:


> BRAINWAVE !!!! i'l tell the one with the kid ... "im really sorry but im babysitting my 2month old nephew" BOOM. problem solved !! girls love that sh!t .


Not a good idea...If she thinks your doing something kid friendly then she may want to meet you and do something with the kids together...


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

Monsterballs just make sure there is really a 2month old nephew as at some point she'll ask you to bring him round so the kids can play and if your nephew is a figment of your imagination then you'll spend half a day trying to rent someones kid for a couple of hours just so you can get some p*ssy. We've all been there.


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## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

Going off the photos I would go for Pussy er.. I mean cat. I like brunettes, she well tanned, looks down to earth and a little more mature.


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## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

lol i hope they dont come on this site and read this.. That would be fecking funny!!


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## Mighty Sparrow (Apr 10, 2011)

Give Cat the cream.


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

No need to make it so difficult man

Who ever has the bigger tits is the girl for you


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

cellaratt said:


> Not a good idea...If she thinks your doing something kid friendly then she may want to meet you and do something with the kids together...


I'll just say... sorry my brother emigrated and took the kid


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

or biggest ass if your an ass man


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## bowen86 (Mar 17, 2008)

im always in this predicament.

ok, go see cat once your done with her ask her to drop you off (as she drives) around the corner from Alicia's place. boom. two birds one stone.


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

monsterballs said:


> I'll just say... sorry my brother emigrated and took the kid


Then just walk off into the sunset c*ck in one hand woman in the other:thumbup1:


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

wholemeal breda said:


> or biggest ass if your an ass man


im going for the biggest forearms !!


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

Dont know. bin them both off. they look pretty chavvy.

And girls with pouty mirror camera phone pics means TROUBLE!


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

And the wierdest thing is ... i havn't had to lie to any of them .. not yet anyway


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

Cat looks like she fell asleep on a sunbed...hell not even on a sunbed, it looks like someone lauched her sunbed directly at the sun!

The other one looks like she will be in Big Brother in no time being the usual stupid blonde, you know the one who can't cook pasta and generally should be put down.

So, to answer your question, fcuk them both off and go out with the seconds ones kid.


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> Dont know. bin them both off. they look pretty chavvy.
> 
> And girls with pouty mirrow camera phone pics means TROUBLE!


You CANNOT tell me, you would bin both of them off .

No way man ... wats your dream woman like then ?

 <<<< ?????


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> So, to answer your question, fcuk them both off and go out with the seconds ones kid.


How do you think i know the girl


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## BatemanLondon (Jun 14, 2011)

anychance you can post a couple more pics from there facebook ?

you are the man bro ... make this happen


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

monsterballs said:


> You CANNOT tell me, you would bin both of them off .
> 
> No way man ... wats your dream woman like then ?
> 
> ...


Powers woman is TASTY!!!

And i'm talking michellin star tasty.


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

BatemanLondon said:


> anychance you can post a couple more pics from there facebook ?


I could but i dont want any1 else creaming over my cat thx  haha you dirty man . reps


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> Dont know. bin them both off. they look pretty chavvy.
> 
> And girls with pouty mirror camera phone pics means TROUBLE!


Yeah I thought the chavvy thing aswell. He may aswell take the one with more money though don't you think?


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## H10dst (Apr 18, 2010)

Defo try and meet them both, probably not in the same night though, I would keep in touch with both just incase one turns out to be a bunny boiler. You can never have too many bankers in my opinion!


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## daniron (Jul 26, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> Cat looks like she fell asleep on a sunbed...hell not even on a sunbed, it looks like someone lauched her sunbed directly at the sun!
> 
> The other one looks like she will be in Big Brother in no time being the usual stupid blonde, you know the one who can't cook pasta and generally should be put down.
> 
> So, to answer your question, fcuk them both off and go out with the seconds ones kid.


*AND THERE IT IS!* The JPay comment we were all expecting to drag this thread to new depths :lol:


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

dannyiron said:


> *AND THERE IT IS!* The JPay comment we were all expecting to drag this thread to new depths :lol:


:laugh:aim to please my brother...aim to please


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

monsterballs said:


> im going for the biggest forearms !!


i see your logic


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

I know how you can decide, look at thier pictures while listening to this:


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

dannyiron said:


> *AND THERE IT IS!* The JPay comment we were all expecting to drag this thread to new depths :lol:


HAHAHA yep .


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

monsterballs said:


> You CANNOT tell me, you would bin both of them off .
> 
> No way man ... wats your dream woman like then ?
> 
> ...


oh no, wouldnt bin them off.

Just that look isnt the first id go for thats all.

im more into the quite pretty one in the corner that dont know how fit she is


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> oh no, wouldnt bin them off.
> 
> Just that look isnt the first id go for thats all.
> 
> im more into the quite pretty one in the corner that dont know how fit she is


*Moves to the corner*


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

JPaycheck said:


> *Moves to the corner*


Unless they have you kind of swagga mate. Then i would just sit on your face in the middle of the bar.


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> Unless they have you kind of swagga mate. Then i would just sit on your face in the middle of the bar.


WIN!


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> Unless they have you kind of swagga mate. Then i would just sit on your face in the middle of the bar.


i'd do that anyway


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

J "i f.ucking like every post" Paycheck

(p.s thanks for the likes  )


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> J "i f.ucking like every post" Paycheck
> 
> (p.s thanks for the likes  )


Finally. lol . enjoy ur reps


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> J "i f.ucking like every post" Paycheck
> 
> (p.s thanks for the likes  )


What can I say, I like alot of things


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> What can I say, I like alot of things


Most of those being either illegal or Bellow the belt :nono:


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

Monsterballs, I've thought of a plan so fiendish you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel! What you do is take one to a restaurant and tell the other one that you'll be meeting her in the restaurant next door 20 mins later so what you do is have a starter with one and then get up to "use the toilet" and then you go to meet the next girl at the other restaurant, you then have another starter then go to "use the toilet" and go to the other restaurant in time for the main course so you repeat between restaurants until desert and drinks and the girl you don't really like gets the booby prize which means you shag her in the toilet and leave her to pay the bill as you disappear with the other one for a night of well deserved passion. :thumbup1:


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

monsterballs said:


> Most of those being either illegal or Bellow the belt :nono:


Aslong as its below a females belt.


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

JPaycheck said:


> What can I say, I like alot of things


J "wannabe powerhousemcgru" Paycheck ?


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

madmuscles said:


> Monsterballs, I've thought of a plan so fiendish you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel! What you do is take one to a restaurant and tell the other one that you'll be meeting her in the restaurant next door 20 mins later so what you do is have a starter with one and then get up to "use the toilet" and then you go to meet the next girl at the other restaurant, you then have another starter then go to "use the toilet" and go to the other restaurant in time for the main course so you repeat between restaurants until desert and drinks and the girl you don't really like gets the booby prize which means you shag her in the toilet and leave her to pay the bill as you disappear with the other one for a night of well deserved passion. :thumbup1:


Sounds like the dirty version of the scene in Mrs. Doubtfire.


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> J "wannabe powerhousemcgru" Paycheck ?


I've requested a name change, but not to that. I just need to see which one KT lets me have


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## johnny_lee (Jun 15, 2011)

There both nice, but im like you i wudnt want to let one down. :confused1:

If they havent met each other then theres always a first time! Tell them to come round at the same time and most likely they will submit to the threesome. :clap:


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

And then the 1 i leave to pay the bill , rips her top off , revealing a 10pack ripped abs.. (and maybe her nipples pops out ) , comes on uk-m . finds this thread . and tracks me down, then im fcuked


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> Sounds like the dirty version of the scene in Mrs. Doubtfire.


Lol, I was trying to work out which film I got that from but couldn't remember.


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## Jayden (Feb 10, 2011)

Do them both then take the one with the car.. Use the blonde one for back up if u need the ride.

Kids complicate things, shell make an effort to see you at the start but slowly but surely the kid will take over all her time again. Shell run out of babysitter etc. Where as yourself and the posh one would have no ties and could **** off around the place in her car whenever ye want.


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

i myt just see the posh one 2nyt, push her over , kick her a few times and take the car and have a little victory drive to alicia's .

Im laughing SO much writing this :sneaky2:


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## DiggyV (May 6, 2011)

both look like they would either be fun, or a bl00dy handful (NO NOT LIKE THAT JP!). Personally have a thing for brunettes. So Cat would get my vote.

Cheers

D


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## Redbeard85 (Mar 26, 2011)

I was once in the same situation...but both of them hung around the same area...they never spoke but I knew it was drawing closer...I was going with them both...so I told them both I was gay, and ****ed off...then one saw me not long after that with another girl...yeah, the situations we get ourselfs in, lol...anyway, I don't know how you feel about becoming a sort of daddy to the other ones kid...I'd say, change the date with one of them and find out that way mate...just gives you the chance to check your options...people are alot different over txts than in real life bud


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## bowen86 (Mar 17, 2008)

madmuscles said:


> Monsterballs, I've thought of a plan so fiendish you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel! What you do is take one to a restaurant and tell the other one that you'll be meeting her in the restaurant next door 20 mins later so what you do is have a starter with one and then get up to "use the toilet" and then you go to meet the next girl at the other restaurant, you then have another starter then go to "use the toilet" and go to the other restaurant in time for the main course so you repeat between restaurants until desert and drinks and the girl you don't really like gets the booby prize which means you shag her in the toilet and leave her to pay the bill as you disappear with the other one for a night of well deserved passion. :thumbup1:


this from a 90's film?


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

said you were gay hahahha thats awsome , reps . lol

With this one theres no chance of them knowing or seeing eachother.

one of them has already blown me out 2nyt so , il ride with the blondie 2nyt :bounce: not complainin like !!


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## welshman (May 22, 2008)

Try (both) before you buy


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## Ste7n (Jul 12, 2011)

Kat looks my ex lol... dirty as fook, looks like she would give good head.. :thumbup1:


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

SouthPaw said:


> Kat looks my ex lol... dirty as fook, looks like she would give good head.. :thumbup1:


its all about the eyes


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## Pectacular (Aug 4, 2010)

Posh birds are a pain in the ar5e and can be high maintenance...bring your wallet, and your overdraft with these ones

Women with kids are a pain in the ar5e and kids cause other issues even when they aint around.

Out of the two though...Cat gets the nod IMO!


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

its all about the shines :whistling:


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## bigpit (Dec 2, 2009)

brunette looks just like a lap dancer i used to see yrs ago. she was a right filthy,nasty bitch. blonde looks like a nice girl. so.....all things considered,i'd go with the brunette! :thumbup1:


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## Magic Torch (May 30, 2005)

Fcukin easy! didnt read rest of thread so appologies if someone already said it.....get the one with the car to pick you up, go out, to hers, what ever give her the blag, suss her out, if going rubbish get a mate to call saying he needs your help, with something urgent, get car girl to drop you at blonde girls and tell her you'll be a couple of hours (drop round the corner) if all good then text car girl to pick you up and drop you home.


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## Readyandwaiting (Mar 20, 2011)

Life's so hard I dunno which girl to fcuk.... choices, choices hmmmm.....

Why don't you just see both of them no strings attached.

If a girl knows that you are seeing other women she cannot help but feel attraction for you.

This is because you are displaying an aplha male trait known as ' pre -seclected by other women.'


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## Delhi (Dec 8, 2005)

monsterballs said:


> Reps to every1 here NOT [email protected]


Neither is that hot tbh mate. Both worth a hit but dont get to excited lol.

A true player would not ask such a silly question on a board. What he would do is tell one (blonde) that he wants to do something special with her at the weekend as mid week is a little dull and not much on.


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Magic Torch said:


> Fcukin easy! didnt read rest of thread so appologies if someone already said it.....get the one with the car to pick you up, go out, to hers, what ever give her the blag, suss her out, if going rubbish get a mate to call saying he needs your help, with something urgent, get car girl to drop you at blonde girls and tell her you'll be a couple of hours (drop round the corner) if all good then text car girl to pick you up and drop you home.


HAHA i did exactly this about 4 years ago ... except i didnt get a mate to call . i answered a 'fake' fone call ... and then ...my phone rang in my ear :death:


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## barrettmma1436114759 (Feb 28, 2011)

try to hit them both tonight!

blondie in early evening as she dont drive, pay for her taxi home and say u not the type of lad to sleep about 1st dat! (soppy ****).......

then for poshie......cat looks FILTH.....she will want you to poke her 1st time, so after u sent blondie home at 9ish(cuz of sprog and that).....cats around,if she is prepared to come late then u should be in! then nail it! if she is as dirty as she looks, then your in bro!......

after you done her and sent me the pics and vid.....do blondie next day....then compare!

my money on cat though......i fookin love dirty posh chicks!

if they somehow find out about each other or dont like yo, then send um my way bro  haha


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## Readyandwaiting (Mar 20, 2011)

Life's so hard I dunno which girl to fcuk.... choices, choices hmmmm.....

Why don't you just see both of them no strings attached.

If a girl knows that you are seeing other women she cannot help but feel attraction for you.

This is because you are displaying an aplha male trait known as ' pre -seclected by other women.'


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Delhi said:


> Neither is that hot tbh mate. Both worth a hit but dont get to excited lol.
> 
> A true player would not ask such a silly question on a board. What he would do is tell one (blonde) that he wants to do something special with her at the weekend as mid week is a little dull and not much on.


A true player would have them both yes but not exactly the way you put it.

He (i) would pick one (blone) and arrange a meeting nothing special cos he does not want a wife (i think), get her back to the house (his or hers) tell her what she wants to here and crack on with bumping his peg.

once peg has been firmly bumped get dressed and tell the chick she/he needs to go depending on venue

then go see the other girl and repeat the sequence


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## TrainingwithMS (Dec 9, 2010)

Brunette for me she looks and sounds like a winner!!

If it doesn't work then you've always got the blonde to fall back on (literally by the sounds of it  )

What an absolute life though mate and reps for using Facebook for what it should be!!


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## Jimi182 (Jul 1, 2011)

Taking the non 'playa' hat off.. you could see em both, not smash either and see which one you actually like. Dont be fooled by the fact that one of them has a kid.. i jus got outa a relationship with a girl who has a 2 year old and if your mature enough its actually very enjoyable. Its not baggage if she can handle it right.

Non playa hat off.. ahh come on you know what to do. But dont complain.. you lucky bastard.


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## JS95 (Aug 29, 2010)

Can you not get with the blonde girl, become a crime commiting due and rob the posh girls car? :lol: + I'd go with the posh girl, blonde ones better looking but somehow looks abit plastic


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

haha if i could rep you all, i would . sound advice, im going brunette.. she cancelled on me erlier and now shes askin can she comes around a bit later. about 9ish .

And as for the blondie ... well im not gna push her off me if she accedentily falls on me

If i was a female ... i'd be getting so much sh!t for this :thumb: and then wen i get home my daddy would probbly kill me and fcuk my corpse . but hey, wat are dads for :tt2:


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

Bang both of them and then move on to their milf mothers and then grandmothers for a record SIX notches on ya bedpost.


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## TheThomo25 (Apr 13, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> Powers woman is TASTY!!!
> 
> And i'm talking michellin star tasty.


I dont know about michelin star tasty I"d say more like the michelin man tasty!!


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## bigpit (Dec 2, 2009)

monsterballs said:


> haha if i could rep you all, i would . sound advice, im going brunette.. she cancelled on me erlier and now shes askin can she comes around a bit later. about 9ish .
> 
> And as for the blondie ... well im not gna push her off me if she accedentily falls on me
> 
> If i was a female ... i'd be getting so much sh!t for this :thumb: and then wen i get home my daddy would probbly kill me and fcuk my corpse . but hey, wat are dads for :tt2:


i'll never forget my dad telling me "if you're not in bed by 9...............it's time to come home!" :thumb:


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## GeordieSteve (May 23, 2010)

Whichever one you pick, can I have a bash on the other one?


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## lolik (Apr 24, 2010)

well good luck with this btw id go for the brunette if i had to choose


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## TheThomo25 (Apr 13, 2011)

lolik said:


> well good luck with this btw id go for the brunette if i had to choose


wow there is a god!!


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## Raptor (Feb 16, 2010)

I'd meet the blond tonight and then put the other one back with a reason she can't moan at like:

"Hey babe, gotta help my nanna sort her loft out tonight -.- needs insulating, but i can meet tomorrow"

There's no way she can be ****ed off by that


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## Raptor (Feb 16, 2010)

That Alicia looks awesome, but my rule is not to date women with kids, not unless you are gonna settle with them

I was with a women who had a little girl, it was a nightmare sometimes to get a second to ourselves

EDIT: My rule is dismissed if if i am just after sex, which 99% of the time i am


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## 1000 (Nov 27, 2009)

WTF Alicia is my cousin man. I don't think she's gonna like this thread much.


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## Raptor (Feb 16, 2010)

1ManRiot said:


> WTF Alicia is my cousin man. I don't think she's gonna like this thread much.


LOOOOOOOOL :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Guest (Aug 3, 2011)

1ManRiot said:


> WTF Alicia is my cousin man. I don't think she's gonna like this thread much.


Lol, Cat it is then


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

I think you should stop being in denial and admit your gay TBH...


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

You've got 2 girlies on the go, & you think you have some kind of a dilemma..? Lucky lucky b*s*a*d* Let us know how it goes..!


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Fu*k me all this over just TWO women...........

I'm fu**ing MARRIED and a fat ugly bastard and l could get more than 2 after me !!


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

Milky said:


> I think you should stop being in denial and admit your gay TBH...


 :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## vetran (Oct 17, 2009)

you better make your mind up before i track them down and take them of ya lol


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

vetran said:


> you better make your mind up before i track them down and take them of ya lol


We may be old brother but with age comes with experience, and with my experience my tongue is fu**ing AWESOME !!


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

WELL , as predicted in the OP ..

blew one out to meet the othernt get down til 12 o clock. and im up at 4am for work lol

So i got onto blondie and she cant get a babysitter now HAHA tough titties oli . another time ay !!


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## JKDRob (Dec 10, 2009)

monsterballs said:


> Reps to every1 here NOT [email protected]


I'm not [email protected], wheres my reps lol


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## Bamse (Feb 5, 2011)

You've still only communicated with both girls online, correct? I suggest you choose the one who isn't actually:


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## Guest (Aug 4, 2011)

> Second one, called alicia . She is fcking gawjus . and i mean GAWJUS!!! (fcuk know's why she's looking at me) 216979_10150277971073944_628628943_7762620_6960537_n.jpg <<<alicia


pink walls , pink curtains, pink polkadot bra ?????? a real nutter


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## Tassotti (Feb 27, 2011)

The first one (Cat is it) looks like a man.

The blonde is ruff boyo.

Elevate your taste in trolls man

or just date a tranny


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## BatemanLondon (Jun 14, 2011)

Hows this played out then ? you dump the one with the kid (after a happy ending) and go for the posh looking tart ?

we need an update or did the cousin on Page 6 **** it all up ?


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## Bamse (Feb 5, 2011)

BatemanLondon said:


> Hows this played out then ? you dump the one with the kid (after a happy ending) and go for the posh looking tart ?
> 
> we need an update or did the cousin on Page 6 **** it all up ?


Don't hold your breath; probably bad reception down in the basement, even if they did let him keep his mobile. Plus, writing an update on an internet forum is probably the last thing on his mind after a long night in the gimp suit.


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

update ... i updated u guys last nyt ... :bounce:

WELL , as predicted in the OP ..

blew one out to meet the othernt get down til 12 o clock. and im up at 4am for work lol

So i got onto blondie and she cant get a babysitter now HAHA tough titties oli . another time ay !!


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

not spoke to brunette today , but blondie sounds keen enough


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## BatemanLondon (Jun 14, 2011)

sweet , get some pics of the blondie for us, its never going to work as she has a kid... so you know what to do.


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## tempnatural (Jul 8, 2010)

why dont i ever have this problem? :crying:


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## barrettmma1436114759 (Feb 28, 2011)

Milky said:


> Fu*k me all this over just TWO women...........
> 
> I'm fu**ing MARRIED and a fat ugly bastard and l could get more than 2 after me !!


i wouldnt say more pmsl

kidding dude lol


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

tempnatural said:


> why dont i ever have this problem? :crying:


because your a dirty roider


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## barrettmma1436114759 (Feb 28, 2011)

dude, the brunette makes sense


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## usernameneeded (Sep 24, 2009)

I say go for the blonde she looks hotter.

And if u want to chill she will b in cause of the kid

But then if u want to go out on ur own for any reason u can have ur own space cause she won't b able to b out all the time cause she's looking after the kid

But I agree with the others and say we need more pics of them both " to make the right decision for you " ;-)


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## Marshan (Aug 27, 2010)

The blonde is a right cutie I have to say, but believe me when I say that brunette posh totty Cat...she will do vile unspeakable magnificent things you'll never forget when you get a rattle at her. The blondie..she won't be taking you too seriously for a while believe it or not..she cant, the kid comes first for mums. Cat won't either...because she doesn't have to, so you have to give her the impression you don't have to also. Be cool..they'll do all the work if you play it out right.


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## tempnatural (Jul 8, 2010)

wholemeal breda said:


> because your a dirty roider


 :crying:


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

yeah , spoke to both today both seem keen, cat is off to swindon on sat nyt, so i think i will see her before she goes, maybe friday nyt... keep her sweet, get her on side so she doesn't go bang any1 in sindon. and see the blondie whilst she's gone :bounce:

Blondie is a bit rave , as inshe likes to go out all the time ... and then tell me stories of how lads always look at her n check her out. im not into that lol


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

mate i dont thinkk you told us what you want from these ****

Are u looking to wife one or just a regular mash


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

one of each please :bounce:


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## BatemanLondon (Jun 14, 2011)

what, no way ?! I am off out in Swindon saturday night to


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## SK-XO (Aug 6, 2009)

Imagine these 2 birds read this thread... Imagine.


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

it will go one of two ways either suck his balls for starting a thread about them or cut them off


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

wholemeal breda said:


> it will go one of two ways either suck his balls for starting a thread about them or cut them off


LOL neither wud be a great loss . cant imagine they work anyhow lol

Wud b ace if they did read this thread... i'd probly loose both of them, but just to see their reaction . it wud be ace haha


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## BatemanLondon (Jun 14, 2011)

This is the only thread that has delivered , Monsterballs is the man in my opinion


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

you only like it for the pictures :tt2: ... more are on the way buddy


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

BatemanLondon said:


> , Monsterballs is the man in my opinion


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## Guest (Aug 4, 2011)

Looking at the brunette makes me think your gonna have to wine and dine before you see her sna*ch !

So makes sense to smash the blondes back doors in until the other is open for business


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Rob1184 said:


> Looking at the brunette makes me think your gonna have to wine and dine before you see her sna*ch !
> 
> So makes sense to smash the blondes back doors in until the other is open for business


HIGH FIVE :beer:


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## JKDRob (Dec 10, 2009)

monsterballs said:


> HIGH FIVE :beer:


I like...


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## Bamse (Feb 5, 2011)

monsterballs said:


> yeah , spoke to both today both seem keen, cat is off to swindon on sat nyt, so i think i will see her before she goes, maybe friday nyt... keep her sweet, get her on side so she doesn't go bang any1 in sindon. and see the blondie whilst she's gone :bounce:


Who in their right mind bangs anyone in Swindon?


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## Guest (Aug 4, 2011)

These two legends would love it!


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Rob1184 said:


> These two legends would love it!
> 
> View attachment 60807


Id swap my 2 for them 2 anyday


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## Chelsea (Sep 19, 2009)

Personally if they dont know each other then i would just date them both, smash them both and whoever takes it in the back doors u see more!

Situations like this are great, all you need now is to add to the fun and get another bird on the scene


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Ive got a couple of back burners to fall back on if they both decide to feck off . But 1 is a bit of a chunky monkey and the other one thinks just cos im after a bang im in love with her or something


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

and another one is 34 and has got 4 kids,, covered in tattoo's .

Only reason why i woud even contimplate that is because... its my mates sister :bounce:


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## IrishRaver (Feb 4, 2010)

Cat looks like she can take a D.


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

IrishRaver said:


> Cat looks like she can take a D.


BY "D" do you mean DIG TO THE FACE WHEN SHE ANNOYS ME :bounce:


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## Chelsea (Sep 19, 2009)

monsterballs said:


> BY "D" do you mean DIG TO THE FACE WHEN SHE ANNOYS ME :bounce:


Every bird can take that. It lets them know where they stand plus when to shut up.

Think they call this behaviour... 'Love'


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

that's what you call love???

I thort this was LOVE mate


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## Guest (Aug 5, 2011)

monsterballs said:


> Id swap my 2 for them 2 anyday


Barry first


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

i'd have a dip in each to work out who is best


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

well... fcuk me . what a good weekend !!!!

Went out fri got abs steamboated . and was rough all yestrday. Just my luck blondie wanted to cum round  so i forced myself to have a few bevvies and waited for her to cum round

Oh My God , shes sooo much better looking... in person  jsut had a few bevs, watched a film, pizza the works. didnt get anything off her. little kiss but thats all :GAY: lol

Anyway... THIS HAS BEEN SAID MANY TIMES ON THE THREAD ...

I was dikcing around on the oc watchin live news feeds of those roits and whilst she was watchin tele in other room. didnt wana invite her into my bedxroom where the PC is , she myt get the wrong idea when she saw the whips and chains :bounce:

Well she came in and i happened to be on ukm . awkward ... i was a bit worse for wear so when she came out with ...

"WHAT'S A THORN BETWEEN TWO ROSES" i sh!t myself and clicked off it straight away. she automatically thort i was on sum dirty porno website or something and went in a strop. so i had to show her...

So, i typed "a ROSE in between two THORNS" in google... and sum **** came up and she was satisfied ... that was the quickest o have EVER thought in my life lol

Poshies coming round in about a hour SHWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!


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## Lukeg (Mar 6, 2011)

in my exp, posh girls are dirtier.


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## cuggster (Aug 3, 2011)

like you said at the first post mate, it aint cheating, just find out which one is right for you! obviously, the posh one with the car is going to be more of a better choice (no kid, car etc..) but the one with a kid will be more likely to settle down im guessing, anyway good luck bro


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## Guest (Aug 7, 2011)

Hope she ain't "To posh to nosh"!


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

I hope one day l get to have sex with a girl.


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

i no i cant wait to loose my verginity


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Why whats up with your verge mate ?


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## Guest (Aug 7, 2011)

Milky said:


> I hope one day l get to have sex with a girl.


If you build it, they will come


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

update... i myt of lost already and she's just txt me sayin shes here

I just had a stella day after sh!t

and then recieved a text

"im here "

SH!!!!!!!!TEEEEEEEEE


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## Mowgli (Aug 23, 2009)

I've repped you because this thread is entertaining. I'm contemplating negging you for letting it go on for so long without getting your end wet though.

Final decision comes tomorrow :tongue:


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

monsterballs said:


> update... i myt of lost already and she's just txt me sayin shes here
> 
> I just had a stella day after sh!t
> 
> ...


What drugs are you currently taking ?


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## Guest (Aug 7, 2011)

Milky said:


> What drugs are you currently taking ?


Brilliant, you make me crease Milky!


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

this is the amazing part... nothing !


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## Guest (Aug 7, 2011)

monsterballs said:


> this is the amazing part... nothing !


Maybe a little Rohypnol will help break the ice


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## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

Sure these girls are real?


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## Vinney (Apr 27, 2011)

the pair of them look like jail baits ...

another cringe worthy thread on here.

shag the pair of them and stop being a pussy.

ffs.


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## Mowgli (Aug 23, 2009)

ARE YOU HAVING SEX RIGHT NOW?

Just asking in case you come to check the thread mid-shag.


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## Random181 (Oct 4, 2009)

Dude, i have nothing whatsoever useful to contribute to this thread but gotta say, respect to ya lmao


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Mowgli said:


> ARE YOU HAVING SEX RIGHT NOW?
> 
> Just asking in case you come to check the thread mid-shag.


Im pretty sure around that time i was stabbing her with my meat kebab yes :bounce:

posh bird 1 - 0 blondie !!


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2011)

monsterballs said:


> Im pretty sure around that time i was stabbing her with my meat kebab yes :bounce:
> 
> posh bird 1 - 0 blondie !!


Good Lad, now nail the Blonde and give us your verdict!


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## DILLZ (Mar 27, 2011)

Make a poll, Cat gets my vote.


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Rob1184 said:


> Good Lad, now nail the Blonde and give us your verdict!


blondie's comin on wednesday :bounce:


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## Jux (Jul 23, 2008)

I believe pics/info are needed in the MA for thorough 'discussion' and 'deliberation' .


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## bigpit (Dec 2, 2009)

Rob1184 said:


> Maybe a little Rohypnol will help break the ice


my mrs hates the taste of that stuff.she says it makes her bum sore.... :thumb:


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

bigpit said:


> my mrs hates the taste of that stuff.she says it makes her bum sore.... :thumb:


So JP tells me


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

monsterballs said:


> So JP tells me


Shes progressing nicely. Were upping doses each session, her grips coming on in leaps and bounds.

She could be looking to compete next year.


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

compete in the 'NUSMA'

National Unconsentual sex movie awards ... i think the blonde tall bird out of saved by the bell won 1 of them for 'showgirls'


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

monsterballs said:


> compete in the 'NUSMA'
> 
> National Unconsentual sex movie awards ... i think the blonde tall bird out of saved by the bell won 1 of them for 'showgirls'


Awesome film, she was hot in that, not she should be put down.


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

after spending my childhood wackin off over her in saved by the bell. when i saw that all my xmas' rolled into one !!


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2011)

Lloyd DA said:


> I believe pics/info are needed in the MA for thorough 'discussion' and 'deliberation' .


Totally Agree!

Monsterballs, could you get the before and after pics up after Wednesdays conquest...... Just a polite request


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Rob1184 said:


> Totally Agree!
> 
> Monsterballs, could you get the before and after pics up after Wednesdays conquest...... Just a polite request


im afraid i cant get before pics up dude ... i deleted facebook so im gna hav to take sly fone pics haha

Must rember to turn the flash off this time ... i rember the inncodednt of 2008 "bus upskirt"


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Both done and dusted !!

:bounce:

I said i was after a girlfriend AND a sweet bang every now and again,

I'll settle with the bangs  turns out im not the settling down type haha


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## Nocarbs (Aug 5, 2011)

haha this is the best thread ive read in ages :[email protected]) keep up the good work fella


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## usernameneeded (Sep 24, 2009)

So how was it ?? Haha


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## TrainingwithMS (Dec 9, 2010)

Surely a dual trip report for both conquests is a must (with pics obv)

WP Monsterballs you are a boss!!


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## mark44 (Jun 22, 2011)

The brunette! No baggage.


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Brunette looks dirtyer doesn't she ... well she fkin WAS :bounce:

Biaaatch wanted it all over the place  haha

The verdict... blondie - bit boring lol brunette - yes please , round 2 lol

I thought the fact when we went into my bedroom, there was a big box of lube on the floor would put her off... but "what that for" and a stupid little giggle just made me want to ****-stab her some more lol


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## usernameneeded (Sep 24, 2009)

The brunette did look dirtier but more in a needs a good wash way for me

I say go for the blonde try and get her to do the dirty things ..........then if she won't shag the other bird :-D


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

dont worry.. i gave her a good soaking all right haha


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## usernameneeded (Sep 24, 2009)

monsterballs said:


> dont worry.. i gave her a good soaking all right haha


:-D keep up the good work


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Quick update ... LOL

Went out at the weekend . ended up bumping into BOTH :bounce: i was kinda with the posh 1 for a bit then my mate sed blondie was out so i did the classic

"im off to the toilet, look after my drink" (which she bought) lol

Anyway met up with blondie and her HOT HOT HOTTTT mates . then poshie ended up phonin me , i thort i was busted and at thhat moment i mosy probably had my fingers in fish county 

Anyway i answered and she started bitchin that i had left and started givin me abuse ... So i kinda fell out with her . bitch , and proceeded to go back to blondie's gaff..

as i was pretty pist off i sent (what we call "a oli text")

OLI TEXT - if you fall out with a girl, your'e allowed to give them abuse  Fcuk off u slag etc .... pmsl

ended up tellin her to delte my number blah blah blah... childish sh!t really .

And now i've only got 1 on the go  :bounce:


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## Irish Beast (Jun 16, 2009)

Just pick the one with the biggest tits


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

The 1 with the biggest tits has big burger nipples. im not into that lol


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## Nocarbs (Aug 5, 2011)

amuses me everytime I read this thread, reminds me of when I was playing the field


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## Mr_Morocco (May 28, 2011)

monsterballs said:


> Quick update ... LOL
> 
> Went out at the weekend . ended up bumping into BOTH :bounce: i was kinda with the posh 1 for a bit then my mate sed blondie was out so i did the *classic *
> 
> ...


Next time use this "i think i left my keys in my coat pocket could u go check for me cos im dying for a ****" give her your ticket for the cloakroom, this gives you at least a 10 minute window


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Afghan said:


> Next time use this "i think i left my keys in my coat pocket could u go check for me cos im dying for a ****" give her your ticket for the cloakroom, this gives you at least a 10 minute window


Lol or i could just pick up a bar stool and start swinging  gives me a 3 hour window lol


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

update .... the roophies i had only lasted a couple of weeks , now they have gone back to their everyday lives


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Wow this is old lmao

Just thort I'd bring back an old thread with... I'm seein blondie 2nyt


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## jake87 (May 7, 2010)

fvcked up big time. enjoy being a step dad lol


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Well she's easy pickings lol

I cba gettin in touch with that stuck up tart again!!


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

Uk_mb said:


> Wow this is old lmao
> 
> Just thort I'd bring back an old thread with... I'm seein blondie 2nyt


Strong bump brah, Ain't going to read all those pages again, lol, so what happened? Play both of them? Knock any of them up? Get busted? Caught herpes? Tell us, we need to know baby! :cool2:


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Rocked with both. NEARLy got caught. Only saw the posh slag twice, she put out on the 1st date :bounce:

Its always the posh ones.

Didn't catch herps no, I gave them


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

Uk_mb said:


> Rocked with both. NEARLy got caught. Only saw the posh slag twice, she put out on the 1st date :bounce:
> 
> Its always the posh ones.
> 
> Didn't catch herps no, I gave them


Nice :thumbup1: Lets just hope that she doesn't turn up on your doorstep in 9 months from the time you banged her, with a pair of mini you's in a buggy.:no:


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## tony10 (Oct 15, 2009)

go for the blonde dude.


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

tony10 said:


> go for the blonde dude.


There isn't a blonde dude

:lol:


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## doggy (Mar 26, 2011)

brunette is better looking. but what about the bodies?


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

doggy said:


> brunette is better looking. but what about the bodies?


Are you saying he's killed them?


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

madmuscles said:


> Are you saying he's killed them?


I'm sayin nothin :nono:

Apart from... How else do u think I'd get them both to agree too sleep with me :lol:


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

I love the smell of necrophilia in the morning :thumbup1:


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## doggy (Mar 26, 2011)

lol i was hopeing for some more revealing photos, nevermind.


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

There wud b more if I remered to turn th flash off lmao

Busted


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## NitroJoe (Mar 10, 2012)

Just remember to strap it up, she's already got one geezer locked in for life, she may well try to snare you with another kid. My mate has just fallen for this trap! GAME OVER! :lol:


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## L00NEY (Feb 22, 2010)

so who had the tighter growler?


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## lxm (Jul 26, 2011)

Sorry but the brunnetee posh bird looks horrid! and dosent look that posh!

GO FOR THE BLONDE!

+ The extra little description about her obviously shows you prefer her


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## damerush (Sep 17, 2011)

You been seeing the blonde on and off since the start of the thread then?


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## harryalmighty (Nov 13, 2011)

thats my misses u daft cvnt! back the fvck off before i re-rout your i.p and find out where u live and snap your sh!t up u silly [email protected]


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

damerush said:


> You been seeing the blonde on and off since the start of the thread then?


No saw her a few times then she just didnt bother txtin me again :lol:

got in contact the other day tho



harryalmighty said:


> thats my misses u daft cvnt! back the fvck off before i re-rout your i.p and find out where u live and *snap your sh!t* up u silly [email protected]


 :lol:


----------



## harryalmighty (Nov 13, 2011)

Uk_mb said:


> No saw her a few times then she just didnt bother txtin me again :lol:
> 
> got in contact the other day tho
> 
> :lol:


lmao.

i voted the blonde yatty.


----------



## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

She bailed on me 2nyt.

The slag!!

Her chance is over ! Lol


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## Rusty_Mann (Oct 31, 2011)

Introduce them to each other and suggest a 3 way ! Man up .... lol

if your looking long term go with the brunette a sthe one with kid always means trouble logistics wise plus she don't drive either... To be fair they both look filthy so all i can say is go with your gut !


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## biglbs (Jan 26, 2012)

Oi that's my Mrs you cnut!


----------



## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

biglbs said:


> Oi that's my Mrs you cnut!


Her fanny stinks


----------



## Guest (Mar 17, 2012)

I bet the brunette would give you another go if you got back in touchxx


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Which would you go for miss lightyear


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## Guest (Mar 17, 2012)

tough choice

It would have to be ...... You! :lol:

Seeing as I'm straight


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## damerush (Sep 17, 2011)

Leigh L said:


> tough choice
> 
> It would have to be ...... You! :lol:
> 
> Seeing as I'm straight


This thread is turning into an episode of Bliiiiiind d-d-d-date.


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## Guest (Mar 17, 2012)

damerush said:


> This thread is turning into an episode of Bliiiiiind d-d-d-date.


Hey... he asked! lol


----------



## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

damerush said:


> This thread is turning into an episode of Bliiiiiind r-r-r-rape.


Fixed


----------



## Guest (Mar 18, 2012)

Uk_mb said:


> This thread is turning into an episode of Bliiiiiiiind r-r-r-rape


Ooooo Is it Roleplay??xx


----------

