# Farting



## pdjs01 (Sep 3, 2011)

U only need to walk a lap of the gym to realise this affects most people, recently sorted my diet out for bulking so to put it simply I'm eating a boat load of oats, fruits, eggs, and meat. Working a treat but...... I ****ing stink, my are is rotton.

Me I'm a typical bloke and couldn't care less but it's doing my Mrs bead in and it can be a bit awkward at work etc.

Anyone got any advice?


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

pdjs01 said:


> Anyone got any advice?


DO NOT LET ANYONE PULL YOUR "MAGIC FINGER"


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## deeconfrost (Dec 15, 2010)

lol! its crazy!! hate gassing so much that the scent stains anything lol"" too much protein is bad for kidneys!..


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## BodyBuilding101 (Mar 8, 2006)

I'm the same, deadly gas :lol:


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## Guest (Oct 20, 2011)

Am farting all around the gym so to make sure no one is following me


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## Hayesy (Aug 15, 2011)

Hahaha what a thread, I was squatting heavy in the gym with my Earphones in and let out a thunder wave, I near died of shame, good job it was Sunday and the gym was empty!!!


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## Twisted (Oct 6, 2010)

The cough loudly and run technique works well


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## Kamwe kuacha (Jun 19, 2011)

Dude I'm the same! Mine are so bad, that sh!t will clear a funeral home OUT!!


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## SteamRod (Oct 1, 2007)

cut out the oats or cook them. I used to love raw oats but fuc me I smelt like I needed pulled thru with a christmas tree.

mm melted butter and honey with raw oats sprinkled with sugar.. I think I am in love again.


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## Lukeg (Mar 6, 2011)

im the same ... but only with tuna. god that makes me baaaaad.

nothing to stop it really...


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## Replicator (Apr 4, 2009)

its just how it is for us BBers


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## big steve (May 8, 2011)

why is it people can stand their own farts alright

any one elses and your gagging


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## Zangief (Aug 5, 2010)

big steve said:


> why is it people can stand their own farts alright
> 
> any one elses and your gagging


Because the fact you can smell someones fart means you are inhaling small particles of p00, I dont have a problem with this if its my own but i dont fancy eating someone elses sh!t !


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## BodyBuilding101 (Mar 8, 2006)

Zangief said:


> Because the fact you can smell someones fart means you are inhaling small particles of p00, I dont have a problem with this if its my own but i dont fancy eating someone elses sh!t !


 :lol: best explanation if there was one!!


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## JusNoGood (Apr 4, 2011)

I was on the treadmill next to my companies CFO and squeeze a few out...the fella stopped his exercising got off the thread mill walked down to the furthest one away from me and got on that one...I then knew my career was over lol :grin:


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## JusNoGood (Apr 4, 2011)

Zangief said:


> Because the fact you can smell someones fart means you are inhaling small particles of p00, I dont have a problem with this if its my own but i dont fancy eating someone elses sh!t !


Quality...my CFO has munched on my poo


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## LeBigMac (Jul 17, 2011)

SteamRod said:


> cut out the oats or cook them. I used to love raw oats but fuc me I smelt like I needed pulled thru with a christmas tree.
> 
> mm melted butter and honey with raw oats sprinkled with sugar.. I think I am in love again.


Interesting....didn't think of this, I thought it was down to switching to MP toffee flavour whey. But since starting bulk I've been adding blended raw oats to me shakes. I smell like a horde of rats have died in my gut while eating on rotten cottage cheese.

Will drop the raw oats and see if this is it. Can be so embarrassing. Especially for the mrs when we stand in a cue and I leave to 'go get something' aka stepping away from the waft!!


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## pdjs01 (Sep 3, 2011)

OK so cut the oats, what's a good alternative for the mornings to go with my omelet?


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## Moonbeam (Jul 20, 2011)

I love it, it's all about fart humour. Especially when standing in line at the supermarket.


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## murphy2010 (Dec 17, 2010)

Sort of off topic, but in my old gym the free weights room was really small and most of the room was taken up by benches. So to the point, some scrawny twit was right behind me on the bench when i was trying to deadlift, leaving me hardly any room. So when i started my set he was sat down and his head was really close to my ass xD so half way up on the rep i let rip a huuuuge loud fart, and almost drop the bar in laughter at the guy xD


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## Dazza (Aug 7, 2010)

Go for protein that's low in lactose. Calms it right down.

You would think i had a dead rat up my ass at one point.


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## maxie (Jan 31, 2011)

Great thread ive always been a good farter but when i was drinking milk it was beyond a joke,it came to a head on holiday this year,after god knows how many lagers at the all inclusive bar,already ****faced i entered the restaurant,finding chick pea soup on the menu i proceeded to blast three bowls with bread down the hatch,followed up by some kind of meat wrapped in cabbage leaves,six portions of this with chips were dispatched.Back to the bar and oblivion was quickly reached.

At four in the morning i awoke with a massive bloated gut,twenty massive farts on the bog later i was back in bed!only to waken at six feeling like i was preggers with twins,this time it was the final straw for the wife,40 huge farts in fifteen minutes she was gonna frigin kill me!

Anyways when i got back i knocked the milk on the head,got on the psyllium husk and things are much better now.


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## Uncivilization (Oct 3, 2011)

I hate the farts that feel like you really want to sh!t, then they come out all warm with a pffffffffffffffffffffffffff. Then you get that "mmmmmm bisto" moment


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## pdjs01 (Sep 3, 2011)

maxie said:


> Great thread ive always been a good farter but when i was drinking milk it was beyond a joke,it came to a head on holiday this year,after god knows how many lagers at the all inclusive bar,already ****faced i entered the restaurant,finding chick pea soup on the menu i proceeded to blast three bowls with bread down the hatch,followed up by some kind of meat wrapped in cabbage leaves,six portions of this with chips were dispatched.Back to the bar and oblivion was quickly reached.
> 
> At four in the morning i awoke with a massive bloated gut,twenty massive farts on the bog later i was back in bed!only to waken at six feeling like i was preggers with twins,this time it was the final straw for the wife,40 huge farts in fifteen minutes she was gonna frigin kill me!
> 
> Anyways when i got back i knocked the milk on the head,got on the psyllium husk and things are much better now.


i love the fact u counted


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## -Jack- (Sep 28, 2009)

its egg yokes i'm sure


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## Glassback (Jun 18, 2010)

I fart in bed and then hold the cover over the wife, I call this 'the Dutch oven' funny times.


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## Tombo (Feb 21, 2009)

I like the smell of my own farts haha


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## Barker (Oct 1, 2009)

Ive got a habbit of getting everyone in the rooms attention by saying 'can anyone hear that?!'. This brings the room to a deadly silence, i then proceed to fart with so much force i feel a prolapse coming on.

Or the classic cupping your bum hole area and throwing any air that may escape your sphyncter at an unsuspecting victim.


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## Hendrix (Sep 16, 2009)

I fart all the way through the morning shower. Just got used to it.


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## kites1664 (Oct 2, 2011)

it's always worse when I'm in someone elses house, as I tend to visit customers during the day. normally try to do it in their kids rooms or near pets. Give a great excuse then.


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