# god damn it, anal fissure halted my progress!!



## musclekick (Aug 6, 2012)

yeh i tore it due to holding my poop in for about 2 days straight,

anyway got laxatives and anusol and plenty of fibre intake

hope it helps recover it quick, god its painful to walk or take a dump

anyone else suffer this?

i heard squatting can tear it

also no ****

...

...

...(waiting for some wise guy to crack a punchline)...


----------



## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

musclekick said:


> yeh i tore it due to holding my poop in for about 2 days straight.


Body cavity search at the airport/prison?


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

@Ashcrapper had a good link to a blog from a guy that had a similar issue.

Was very informative.


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

so you`ve torn your sphincter ?


----------



## Mingster (Mar 25, 2011)

Wedge a load of cotton wool up there and wear a nappy when squatting:thumbup1:


----------



## marknorthumbria (Oct 1, 2009)

never in my life that i can remember have i not **** for 2 days lol..try 3 hours after ephs and coffee twice a day lol


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Smitch said:


> @Ashcrapper had a good link to a blog from a guy that had a similar issue.
> 
> Was very informative.


I cant post it mate, last time I did some mods had a pissy fit and wanted to ban me. Not sure why as they clearly didnt read it, it was an extremely well written very funny piece of writing


----------



## RFC52 (Jan 4, 2011)

marknorthumbria said:


> never in my life that i can remember have i not **** for 2 days lol..try 3 hours after ephs and coffee twice a day lol


Truer words were not spoken..

And to the OP, you REALLY sure it was holding a s**t in.. :whistling:

We don't judge....


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

also, why the **** did you hold your shit in for 2 days?


----------



## marknorthumbria (Oct 1, 2009)

fiver says its a cover up and OP got bummed


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

marknorthumbria said:


> fiver says its a cover up and OP got bummed


can you get an anal fissure from bumming?


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Ashcrapper said:


> can you get an anal fissure from bumming?


well you sure as fcuk dont get it from holding a poo in for 2 days , according to wikipedia its stretching that causes it :whistling:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_fissure


----------



## musclekick (Aug 6, 2012)

ah-the uk-muscle crowd never ceases to amuse me with their quick witted responses!!

on a serious note i can't remember what happened i went on a bender for 2 days (as in partying..not getting bummed) and never got time to take a dump

anyway i could feel it about to explode so i burst it out with such great force that i tore my anus tissue causing a fissure on the outside plus some bright red bleeding

for anyone thinking about holding their poop in do not do it!!

worst thing is being able to sit down and get up, ouch!!

wish i could workout but unfortunatley i am starting my pct after basically half a week into my cycle

clomid eod for 2 weeks should do it since i only took 500mg test e

need to give this thing 6-8 weeks to recover me thinks


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

ewen said:


> well you sure as fcuk dont get it from holding a poo in for 2 days , according to wikipedia its stretching that causes it :whistling:
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_fissure


oh dear


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Ashcrapper said:


> I cant post it mate, last time I did some mods had a pissy fit and wanted to ban me. Not sure why as they clearly didnt read it, it was an extremely well written very funny piece of writing


Well that sucks.

Fvcking cracked me up when I read it.


----------



## musclekick (Aug 6, 2012)

well im sure taking a huge dump with 2 days worth of poop is going to stretch it to kingdom come

my doctor has also stated this is a common reason and has seen more fissures than i have had dinners...


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

musclekick said:


> ah-the uk-muscle crowd never ceases to amuse me with their quick witted responses!!
> 
> on a serious note i can't remember what happened i went on a bender for 2 days (as in partying..not getting bummed) and never got time to take a dump
> 
> ...


what kind of bender (bad choice of words by the way)?

if it was a piss up, inevitable you will be shitting

cocaine, definitely shitting involved

pills, sledgy shit

are you telling the truth musclekick?


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

musclekick said:


> ah-the uk-muscle crowd never ceases to amuse me with their quick witted responses!!
> 
> on a serious note i can't remember what happened i went on a bender for 2 days (as in partying..not getting bummed) and never got time to take a dump
> 
> ...


so you went on a lads hol fell asleep in a random doorway woke up to a fiver in your pants and a sore bum .

no need for pct either on a half week cycle .


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

musclekick said:


> ah-the uk-muscle crowd never ceases to amuse me with their quick witted responses!!
> 
> on a serious note i can't remember what happened i went on a bender for 2 days (as in partying..not getting bummed) and never got time to take a dump
> 
> ...


all I read out of that was "bender", "can't remember" and "bummed".


----------



## musclekick (Aug 6, 2012)

lol i knew i would regret posting this


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

musclekick said:


> lol i knew i would regret posting this


 sounds like you regret getting bummed er i mean holding a poo in


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Smitch said:


> Well that sucks.
> 
> Fvcking cracked me up when I read it.


google "anal fissure bob". perhaps milky could shed some light why its not permitted to link to the story


----------



## Craigyboy (Feb 9, 2012)

I had this thought it was piles went to docs (am sure he had fun poking my bum hole!)

E45 cream to help it heal, and use they toddler wipes for wiping your **** for a week or so as bog roll will rip the shat out of that thing

And no anal bum love for a fortnight

Xx


----------



## Mish (May 1, 2011)




----------



## Dr Manhattan (Jan 8, 2012)

musclekick said:


> ah-the uk-muscle crowd never ceases to amuse me with their quick witted responses!!
> 
> on a serious note i can't remember what happened *i went on a bender for 2 days (as in partying..and getting bummed)* and never got time to take a dump
> 
> ...


----------



## Madoxx (Nov 7, 2010)

Ive just got over one, its horrible........... would sit in work, feeling a turd brewing but avoiding it due to the pain, and when you do, you cant sit there with your phone playing games or replying to texts......... its a case of clenching your fists and trying not to cry.

Of course when training you poop more often, tried using baby wipes, but the moisture and the scent etc just set it right off again!

Phoned doc, insisted on seeing a female doc........ figured that if the doc had to get in there to check a girl would have smaller fingers. Didnt want some guy with gorilla fingers poking about do i!!!! Went into appointment, lay on the bed with knees tucked up, she didnt have to do anything, once quick look and job done. Prescription and out!

Doc gave me "regtogel", awesome stuff. Twice a day, carry on training and eating loads as you would and it will clear in 10-14 days.

I switched to Bran Flakes and 1 litre orange juice in the morning for the duration of the episode.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

madocks said:


> Ive just got over one, its horrible........... would sit in work, feeling a turd brewing but avoiding it due to the pain, and when you do, you cant sit there with your phone playing games or replying to texts......... its a case of clenching your fists and trying not to cry.
> 
> Of course when training you poop more often, tried using baby wipes, but the moisture and the scent etc just set it right off again!
> 
> ...


and did you get bummed as well?


----------



## Madoxx (Nov 7, 2010)

Ashcrapper said:


> and did you get bummed as well?


Would of been a lot less painful, should of seen the size of the turd that caused this event........... After that came out im sure ron jeremy could easily slip in without being noticed.


----------



## vtec_yo (Nov 30, 2011)

musclekick said:


> yeh i tore it due to holding my poop in for about 2 days straight,
> 
> anyway got laxatives and anusol and plenty of fibre intake
> 
> ...


Sorry but I absolutely ****ed myself. ANUSOL????


----------



## musclekick (Aug 6, 2012)

google anusol or go to boots website

i was a bit weired out by the name but im over it now


----------



## Prince Adam (Mar 17, 2012)

This sounds awful.


----------



## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

Ashcrapper said:


> can you get an anal fissure from bumming?


I guess that would depend on the circumference of the c0ck or fist bumming you?


----------



## Dux (Nov 29, 2011)

Of all the stories to concoct to try and cover up the fact you got bummed and someone (literally) tore you a new one, you came up with getting p'ssed and not being able to take a dump for 2 days because you didn't have time?

Pfft, kids nowadays


----------



## Leeds89 (Feb 13, 2012)

musclekick said:


> yeh i tore it due to holding my poop in for about 2 days straight,
> 
> anyway got laxatives and anusol and plenty of fibre intake
> 
> ...


This isn't a get out of jail free card for clearly taking too much dick you know.


----------



## bambi1550 (Dec 10, 2012)

I've had one that does eventually heal.. It is very painful so i sympathise

HOWEVER.... I still love being

drilled in the a$$ so its worth the risk  xx


----------



## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

So to summarise there are two lessons to be learnt...

Don't get bummed too hard

Don't make awful excuses on ukm about getting bummed too hard


----------



## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

musclekick said:


> yeh i tore it due to holding my poop in for about 2 days straight,
> 
> anyway got laxatives and anusol and plenty of fibre intake
> 
> ...


you're not supposed to push back mate


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

This may help:

http://www.anus.com/etc/anal-fissure-bob/


----------



## musclekick (Aug 6, 2012)

read that story lol

ok yeh i got bummed (rolls eyes)

always some gay joke with the ukm crowd


----------



## RFC52 (Jan 4, 2011)

musclekick said:


> read that story lol
> 
> ok yeh i got bummed (rolls eyes)
> 
> always some gay joke with the ukm crowd


I'm just surprised that after a 2 day "bender" of [whatever, but we'll say booze] it wasn't

a) pouring out of you

B) something you did the morning after the first night. The first hungover poop is the greatest relief ever.


----------



## corporates (Nov 12, 2006)

Had one many years ago, i thought it was piles but doc says it is extremely common in men who lift weights.

He did have a prod and said its a small fissure, and prescribed suppositories just to relieve pain when going to the loo, sorted itself out in no time.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Smitch said:


> This may help:
> 
> http://www.anus.com/etc/anal-fissure-bob/


uh oh, expect a mod dummy to come flying your way!!!


----------



## SuzukiRock (Dec 26, 2012)

I'm calling BS... I once held back for 5 days at a festival eating horse burgers and donuts and didn't suffer any such thing afterwards! You definitely got your back doors smashed in!!!


----------

