# Have you been to jail?



## EpicSquats (Mar 29, 2014)

*Have you been to jail?*​
Yes 2518.12%No11381.88%


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## EpicSquats (Mar 29, 2014)

I get the impression half the forum are jailbirds. Let's have a poll and find out shall we?


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## DappaDonDave (Dec 2, 2013)

No but I've not got a TV licence so my future looks sketchy.


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## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

I'm due a stint


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## Total Rebuild (Sep 9, 2009)

Spent the night in a cell but never done actual time.


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

sneeky_dave said:


> I'm due a stint


should have been more sneeky then


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## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> should have been more sneeky then


Enough is never quiet enough it seems


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## bigarmsbrah (Apr 8, 2015)

Nope and very unlikely I ever will


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## simonthepieman (Jun 11, 2012)

Does playing monopoly count?


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## 38945 (Nov 23, 2013)

Yes. On a class trip.


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Thought I was going once, very sobering time.

Worst thing was that it was for something I hadn't even done, was on bail and had my passport taken away, was sh1tting myself.


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## 31205 (Jan 16, 2013)

Been to young offenders when I was 17 and again a year later. Never been to adult jail.


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Inb4someonetagsmeliketheydoineveryprisonthread

Yes


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## FuqOutDaWhey (Apr 29, 2015)

FelonE said:


> Inb4someonetagsmeliketheydoineveryprisonthread
> 
> Yes


I resisted, it wasn't easy tho.


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

BrahmaBull said:


> I resisted, it wasn't easy tho.


Lol


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## Bora (Dec 27, 2011)

Yes


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## Slim-fella (Jun 14, 2014)

Yes


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## FuqOutDaWhey (Apr 29, 2015)

Nein


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## UlsterRugby (Nov 16, 2014)

No.

Felon how long you do, what for if you don't mind telling?


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## happygorila (Apr 29, 2015)

Very close luckily managed to walk out of crown court

Been on probation for 4 years off in august


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## stephaniex (Sep 11, 2014)

FelonE said:


> Inb4someonetagsmeliketheydoineveryprisonthread
> 
> Yes


I was going to, beat me to it!:laugh:


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

UlsterRugby said:


> No.
> 
> Felon how long you do, what for if you don't mind telling?


Stole lots of cars,shop burglarys,robbery,batterys, abh on Police ,2xgbh,affray, driving whilst disqualified, giving false details to Police, breach of bail,breach of tag,breach of licence

Generally being a nob


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## ssol (Sep 28, 2013)

Unfortunately yes...


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## mattyhunt (Dec 12, 2013)

Nope, doubt I ever will


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## Adz (Jan 29, 2008)

Couple of 1 nighters but never proper jail.

Don't intend to.


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## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

FelonE said:


> Stole lots of cars,shop burglarys,robbery,batterys, abh on Police ,2xgbh,affray, driving whilst disqualified, giving false details to Police, breach of bail,breach of tag,breach of licence
> 
> Generally being a nob


Thats a pretty good effort


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## MattyHall (May 13, 2015)

**** no. Never will thanks.


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Sams said:


> Thats a pretty good effort


100% effort in all I do mate


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## richardrahl (Nov 19, 2007)

FelonE said:


> Inb4someonetagsmeliketheydoineveryprisonthread
> 
> Yes


Hand on heart, I genuinely only came into this thread to count thw number of posts until you were mentioned, bud. :lol:


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Yeah... Went to visit a mate who got caught! :wink:


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## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

Anyone been in for a serious crime................?


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## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

Omen669 said:


> Anyone been in for a serious crime................?


Mine will possibly be the most unique


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## SILV3RBACK (Jun 23, 2012)

Does military jail count? MCTC Colchester.


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## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

sneeky_dave said:


> Mine will possibly be the most unique


It's not under Operation Yewtree then, as that's really popular these days.


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## Wheyman (Sep 6, 2011)

no but spent time in cells a few times. Not the same, my dad has about 5 times and I spend my life trying to not be like him.


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## Fortis (Oct 20, 2012)

never been in jail and never stepped foot in a police station.


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## IDntEvenLiftCuz (Feb 21, 2015)

Spent a night in for drunk and disorderly behaviour so voted yes lol.

Never actually done time though. Fuk that.


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## diesel09 (May 27, 2009)

unfortunately I have,

used to think I could do what I wanted so to put it short I was a d*ckhead,

was in at 15 for 4months , then again at 16 for 8 months and at 17 24 months but only served 10

I am now 24 so sorted my act out and stayed out


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## Twisted (Oct 6, 2010)

Did six years.


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## dmull86 (Sep 28, 2014)

No. Spent the night in the cells but. Woke up with the worst hangover and thought I was going down for manslaughter. Luckily I didn't. Is the traker bar for breakfast a universal thing?


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## IDntEvenLiftCuz (Feb 21, 2015)

State what you did please brahs ^

Murder, theft?


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## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

yes

cheers shaun


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## dmull86 (Sep 28, 2014)

the wee man said:


> yes
> 
> cheers shaun


Did you beat the **** outta Wallace or gromit


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## EpicSquats (Mar 29, 2014)

Twisted said:


> Did six years.


Is that a photo of you in prison in your avatar?


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## diesel09 (May 27, 2009)

IDntEvenLiftCuz said:


> State what you did please brahs ^
> 
> Murder, theft?


my first time when I was 15 were assaults, drunk and disorderly and affray,

second time was again for assault, criminal damage, and affray

and my final time I punched my mums ex boyfriend for pushing her and broke his jaw which he needed 2 steel plates for,

I got 36 months appealed and under the circumstances( my mother had just been diagnosed with cervical cancer) they lowered it to 24 I served 10 months 6months on tag as well as 14 months on license

nothing I am proud of, more embarrassed these days but the past is the past


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## IDntEvenLiftCuz (Feb 21, 2015)

Thanks for the honesty man. Quite a history you got there. Regardless of the nature, it's easy to find merit in your story as you are no longer confined inside 4 walls and the world is now your oyster, you're still young and have your health. Good to see you've learnt from your mistakes , not a lot of people do and before you know it they're either dead or stuck behind bars for life.


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## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

IDntEvenLiftCuz said:


> Spent a night in for drunk and disorderly behaviour so voted yes lol.
> 
> Never actually done time though. Fuk that.


You understand that's not jail right?


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## IDntEvenLiftCuz (Feb 21, 2015)

sneeky_dave said:


> You understand that's not jail right?


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## Machette (Oct 29, 2011)

Twisted said:


> Did six years.


What for? Means you probgot 12 year?


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## Plate (May 14, 2015)

sneeky_dave said:


> Mine will possibly be the most unique


Its not because you don't have a t.v licence is it..


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## brunzz (Feb 28, 2012)

No, spent a night in the cells and can say now that I'll never end up in jail. Fuk being Bored in an uncomfortably bed all day for months on end..


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## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

Been arrested twice

Walked out of the police station after blowing under the limit on the big machine (was way over, god was on my side)

Spent the night wired off my tits in there after getting caught with 6 grams of Mcat

Got a caution for that, resulted in me being kicked out of uni so sorted my life out then and there - stopped associating with folk who were heading nowhere and keeping those who I could get in a lot of trouble with at arm's length


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

DatGuy said:


> What offence(s) did you go down for?


The offences I listed


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Fortis said:


> never been in jail and never stepped foot in a police station.


Keep it that way mate,it's sh1t


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## Twisted (Oct 6, 2010)

Machette said:


> What for? Means you probgot 12 year?


Was a prison Officer lol.


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## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

Twisted said:


> Was a prison Officer lol.


So you were a criminal then 

Tough job, respect to you.

My neighbour randomly used to be Playboy bunny girl in the 60's/70's then worked for the prison service. She was even in-charge of opening a prison at 1 point. Don't judge a book by it's cover hey.


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Twisted said:


> Was a prison Officer lol.


A hard job. I wouldn't want to do it


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## 31205 (Jan 16, 2013)

Machette said:


> What for? Means you probgot 12 year?


You only do half if you get less than 10. Anything 10+ is 2/3 before eligible for parole. Might have changed recently though.

Used to be under 4 you did half but was increased to 10 cos prisons are so over crowded.


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## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

"Keep it that way mate,it's sh1t"

so why are you proud of it and use it as a username ?


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## happygorila (Apr 29, 2015)

FelonE said:


> 100% effort in all I do mate


take it u like P money


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

happygorila said:


> take it u like P money


Yeah mate


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

i met @Skye666 whilst doing a 5 yr stretch


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## happygorila (Apr 29, 2015)

FelonE said:


> Yeah mate


little d and blacks and the OG crew like your twist on the msn/u km mate

Money over everyone


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## Sustanon Steve (Oct 3, 2014)

Just done 5 months in 2 jails, went in Oct and got out on good behaviour in march. First offence too! Getting off tag today haha


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## vtec_yo (Nov 30, 2011)

Carllo said:


> "Keep it that way mate,it's sh1t"
> 
> so why are you proud of it and use it as a username ?


 @FelonE

Also wondering this tbh,


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## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

vtec_yo said:


> @FelonE
> 
> Also wondering this tbh,


Felon sounds very "Gansta"


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## Goranchero (Mar 26, 2015)

Many times, county jail and two state penitentiaries are my clients. And quite a few of my clients are very much at home in county jail.


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

DatGuy said:


> Sorry Mr D cat just that some of those offences sound like fine, curfew and tag offences
> 
> You need a better lawyer


Lol ok


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## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

Sounds like everyone needs get the fuuk off felons back! If I was him I'd be sick to death of everyone's opinions about my past.

He's been jail, let's move on ay!


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Carllo said:


> "Keep it that way mate,it's sh1t"
> 
> so why are you proud of it and use it as a username ?


Quote me where I've acted proud.

It was the name I use to mc under


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

DatGuy said:


> Sounds like a bottom of the ladder entry level gangsta to me


Man trys to troll me on UK-M

So I write back

Lol ok


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

sneeky_dave said:


> Sounds like everyone needs get the fuuk off felons back! If I was him I'd be sick to death of everyone's opinions about my past.
> 
> He's been jail, let's move on ay!


I'm used to the plebs mate.

Someone asks me a question and i answer it.....que the keyboard warriors


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Omen669 said:


> Felon sounds very "Gansta"


Lol ok


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## killamanjaro (Dec 30, 2013)

sneeky_dave said:


> Sounds like everyone needs get the fuuk off felons back! If I was him I'd be sick to death of everyone's opinions about my past.
> 
> He's been jail, let's move on ay!


I think its the badman juice he sips that draws him the attention


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## Sustanon Steve (Oct 3, 2014)

Sustanon Steve said:


> Just done 5 months in 2 jails, went in Oct and got out on good behaviour in march. First offence too! Getting off tag today haha


Got 15 months for importation, production and supply of class C (steroids)


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## MFM (Jul 25, 2013)

FelonE said:


> Inb4someonetagsmeliketheydoineveryprisonthread
> 
> Yes


Is prison really like a holiday in this country?

Don't answer no unless you were bummed every day and made to be the gangster boss' girlfriend!


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

MFM said:


> Is prison really like a holiday in this country?
> 
> Don't answer no unless you were bummed every day and made to be the gangster boss' girlfriend!


I don't think so mate. It could be made harder don't get me wrong but being in prison isn't fun


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

Sustanon Steve said:


> Got 15 months for importation, production and supply of class C (steroids)


interesting

give us a little more info steve


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## Sustanon Steve (Oct 3, 2014)

Heavyassweights said:


> interesting
> 
> give us a little more info steve


That's it lol I had a lab for few years and got fukd for it


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## MFM (Jul 25, 2013)

FelonE said:


> I don't think so mate. It could be made harder don't get me wrong but being in prison isn't fun


I can imagine. I once broke the toilet door's handle off trying to get out and was trapped in there for a good 15 minutes. It was like a little prison sentence in itself and I don't want to go back!


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

MFM said:


> I can imagine. I once broke the toilet door's handle off trying to get out and was trapped in there for a good 15 minutes. It was like a little prison sentence in itself and I don't want to go back!


Lol my last sentence was 4 and a half years,did 3 and a half out of it.....so pretty similar


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## MFM (Jul 25, 2013)

FelonE said:


> Lol my last sentence was 4 and a half years,did 3 and a half out of it.....so pretty similar


We both had a small room and a toilet so I can see where you're coming from.


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

MFM said:


> We both had a small room and a toilet so I can see where you're coming from.


I had a tv so you probably found it harder


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## icamero1 (Jul 3, 2009)

FelonE said:


> Man trys to troll me on UK-M
> 
> So I write back
> 
> Lol ok


came in the room, got a KO..... big tune!!!!


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## MFM (Jul 25, 2013)

FelonE said:


> I had a tv so you probably found it harder


 :lol:


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

icamero1 said:


> came in the room, got a KO..... big tune!!!!


Love it


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## BettySwallocks (Aug 1, 2012)

Sustanon Steve said:


> That's it lol I had a lab for few years and got fukd for it


pro chem?


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Heavyassweights said:


> i met @Skye666 whilst doing a 5 yr stretch


Yes..but 5min therapy with u i knew u were a fruit loop shame it ended there


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

FelonE said:


> I don't think so mate. It could be made harder don't get me wrong but being in prison isn't fun


I strongly disagree..this would depend what prison / area but most are reoffending clearly too much fun to improve the figures ...

More intresting than ur past..im curious as to whether u managed to get work etc( dont need to answer)


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## Sustanon Steve (Oct 3, 2014)

BettySwallocks said:


> pro chem?


Lol no mate

But to be fair if somebody guess is right im not going to admit it


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> I strongly disagree..this would depend what prison / area but most are reoffending clearly too much fun to improve the figures ...
> 
> More intresting than ur past..im curious as to whether u managed to get work etc( dont need to answer)


How long was your last sentence?


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## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

Skye666 said:


> I strongly disagree..this would depend what prison / area but most are reoffending clearly too much fun to improve the figures ...
> 
> More intresting than ur past..im curious as to whether u managed to get work etc( dont need to answer)


doesnt work iirc


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Carllo said:


> doesnt work iirc


You can't rc because I've never said I don't work


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## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

just a good guess then


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

FelonE said:


> How long was your last sentence?


Has richard branson flown a plane?

Do surgeons have breast implants?

Dont assume i need to do a sentence to have an understanding of its workings...back to the q


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## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

Skye666 said:


> I strongly disagree..this would depend what prison / area but most are reoffending clearly too much fun to improve the figures ...
> 
> More intresting than ur past..im curious as to whether u managed to get work etc( dont need to answer)


Look at repeat offenders like Charles Bronson. He's had a right laugh being in prison. Even turned mini celebrity...............


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Carllo said:


> just a good guess then


Lol ok


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Omen669 said:


> Look at repeat offenders like Charles Bronson. He's had a right laugh being in prison. Even turned mini celebrity...............


My point too..but id say bronson is a special case all on his own lol


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## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

so am i wrong ?


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Has richard branson flown a plane?
> 
> Do surgeons have breast implants?
> 
> Dont assume i need to do a sentence to have an understanding of its workings...back to the q


So how can you strongly disagree if you've never experienced it?


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

FelonE said:


> Man trys to troll me on UK-M
> 
> So I write back
> 
> Lol ok


Hmmm must try harder :lol:


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Carllo said:


> so am i wrong ?


Who knows eh treacle


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Carllo said:


> so am i wrong ?


I would imagine that most of the time you are.


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## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

Skye666 said:


> My point too..but id say bronson is a special case all on his own lol


Special indeed! Complete waste of a life.


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## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

Verno said:


> I would imagine that most of the time you are.


Why's that. Not bin told I'm wrong


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Carllo said:


> Why's that. Not bin told I'm wrong


Because you're no-one I have to answer


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## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

FelonE said:


> So how can you strongly disagree if you've never experienced it?


Because it's not a massive secret how prison's are run in today's society. She won't understand the psychology of being inside, but she might have an idea of what goes on...............


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Omen669 said:


> Because it's not a massive secret how prison's are run in today's society. She won't understand the psychology of being inside, but she might have an idea of what goes on...............


It's the psychology that makes it hard,that's why she can't understand


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## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

FelonE said:


> It's the psychology that makes it hard,that's why she can't understand


It's well known though that some people prefer prison, because they have no life on the outside.

Suppose it depends on the person who's in?


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Omen669 said:


> It's well known though that some people prefer prison, because they have no life on the outside.
> 
> Suppose it depends on the person who's in?


Yes mate I've delt with quite a few suffering from institutionalisation. A couple who've even topped themselves in the end.


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Carllo said:


> Why's that. Not bin told I'm wrong


Well your being told now


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## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

Verno said:


> Well your being told now


No I'm not? Nothing was said whether I was rite or wrong


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## Plate (May 14, 2015)

Carllo said:


> No I'm not? Nothing was said whether I was rite or wrong


Right* you're wrong..


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## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

Verno said:


> Yes mate I've delt with quite a few suffering from institutionalisation. A couple who've even topped themselves in the end.


You must have to be a low point to do something like that, even more so because you are being RELEASED from prison.


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Carllo said:


> No I'm not? Nothing was said whether I was rite or wrong


Let it go,I don't know you,you're no-one to me so don't expect me to answer questions that don't concern you.

Have a good day


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Omen669 said:


> You must have to be a low point to do something like that, even more so because you are being RELEASED from prison.


You've gotta remember though mate some have been in so long- told what to do and when to do it, that the thought of having to be independent terrifies them.


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Omen669 said:


> It's well known though that some people prefer prison, because they have no life on the outside.
> 
> Suppose it depends on the person who's in?


I agree


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## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

Verno said:


> You've gotta remember though mate some have been in so long- told what to do and when to do it, that the thought of having to be independent terrifies them.


Similar to people leaving the armed forces


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## Bora (Dec 27, 2011)

Verno said:


> You've gotta remember though mate some have been in so long- told what to do and when to do it, that the thought of having to be independent terrifies them.


Was a lad on my wing in for burglary and I remember him wanting the biggest sentence and he came back from court chuffed for getting 3 year, I done 7 month and lesson learnt would never want go back


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Verno said:


> You've gotta remember though mate some have been in so long- told what to do and when to do it, that the thought of having to be independent terrifies them.


Also some people out here think they're bad but can't handle it in prison.

I know some lad locally who was like this and tried to hang himself,two cells away from mine.

The mental aspect of it can really fvck you up.

The amount of times I've had people moaning at me because they think their Mrs is cheating etc is unreal. Can mess your head up


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Omen669 said:


> Similar to people leaving the armed forces


Exactly mate, can be any form of regimented "institution". Doesn't have to be prison.


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## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

Verno said:


> Exactly mate, can be any form of regimented "institution". Doesn't have to be prison.


 

I can't like yet.,...


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Verno said:


> Exactly mate, can be any form of regimented "institution". Doesn't have to be prison.


I was institutionalized. Hated authority when I went in to care,fvcked about in school even though I was predicted good grades. Went to prison at 16 and was in and out all my life until about 33. Complete waste of life but to me that was my life.It took my last sentence to really make me think wtf am I doing,wasted 3 and a half years in jail. Decided that was it and I'd had enough. Got in to training,met my Mrs who's showed me a normal life and I've never looked back.

Changed my whole outlook on life now. Wake up happy everyday.


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Omen669 said:


> I can't like yet.,...


No probs mate. As soon as I've got down out of your tree I'll come in and we can sort it over a cuppa.

Btw your back window lock needs fixing :innocent:


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

FelonE said:


> I was institutionalized. Hated authority when I went in to care,fvcked about in school even though I was predicted good grades. Went to prison at 16 and was in and out all my life until about 33. Complete waste of life but to me that was my life.It took my last sentence to really make me think wtf am I doing,wasted 3 and a half years in jail. Decided that was it and I'd had enough. Got in to training,met my Mrs who's showed me a normal life and I've never looked back.
> 
> Changed my whole outlook on life now. Wake up happy everyday.


Yeah but like you say it's changed now....everyone makes mistakes....you paid for it.

I've met plenty of inmates over the course of my professional life who deserved to be inside I've also met plenty of officers who deserved to be inside more!

One thing I've learnt is you can't be that judgemental.

Btw I'm not going soft FelonE ..... I still think your a Cnut


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Verno said:


> Yeah but like you say it's changed now....everyone makes mistakes....you paid for it.
> 
> I've met plenty of inmates over the course of my professional life who deserved to be inside I've also met plenty of officers who deserved to be inside more!
> 
> ...


Lol I am a cvnt..... A hench cvnt

Come at me skinny w4nkers


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

FelonE said:


> Lol I am a cvnt..... A *hench* cvnt
> 
> Come at me skinny w4nkers


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Verno said:


> View attachment 173346


Sorry just had a sip of badman juice.....it's fvcking strong


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

FelonE said:


> Sorry just had a sip of badman juice.....it's fvcking strong


Gotta get me some of that shiz


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## Pancake' (Aug 30, 2012)

FelonE said:


> I was institutionalized. Hated authority when I went in to care,fvcked about in school even though I was predicted good grades. Went to prison at 16 and was in and out all my life until about 33. Complete waste of life but to me that was my life.It took my last sentence to really make me think wtf am I doing,wasted 3 and a half years in jail. Decided that was it and I'd had enough. Got in to training,met my Mrs who's showed me a normal life and I've never looked back.
> 
> Changed my whole outlook on life now. Wake up happy everyday.


You ever ride up North? your circumstances remind me many a my mates, jailbirds in/out like no tomorrow, surprising how often, I log in fb and see the lads in jug taking photo's together :lol: makes me laugh, heads are gone. seen a photo of a mate, I hadn't seen in two years, everytime I seen him in past, always had a shaved head, in this photo, he had a full blown head of hair, lost it haha! was very much on the cards for me, but I've just been a very lucky lad tbh with ya, I found direction and purpose, were as a lot didn't. I won't speak too soon though. glad to hear, your sorted now though mate.


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Verno said:


> Gotta get me some of that shiz


I will. Don't tell anyone that it's really Lambrini


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

No didn't go up north mate.

Me in Dartmoor.........I'm the fat one lol


----------



## ellisrimmer (Sep 9, 2012)

Do people actually get bum raped in prison here? is that something you need to be worried about?


----------



## FuqOutDaWhey (Apr 29, 2015)

FelonE said:


> I was institutionalized. Hated authority when I went in to care,fvcked about in school even though I was predicted good grades. Went to prison at 16 and was in and out all my life until about 33. Complete waste of life but to me that was my life.It took my last sentence to really make me think wtf am I doing,wasted 3 and a half years in jail. Decided that was it and I'd had enough. Got in to training,met my Mrs who's showed me a normal life and I've never looked back.
> 
> Changed my whole outlook on life now. Wake up happy everyday.


Fair play to ya, I'm the first to admit I couldn't hack it inside..

Far too beautiful lmao


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

ellisrimmer said:


> Do people actually get bum raped in prison here? is that something you need to be worried about?


Maybe but Ive never heard of it. I'd imagine it's more common on lifer units or the nonces wings


----------



## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

FelonE said:


> Maybe but Ive never heard of it. I'd imagine it's more common on lifer units or the nonces wings


Yes lifers, muppets and mental health units.


----------



## Frandeman (Mar 24, 2014)

Just don't get caught

Or blame some idiot

Works for me ????


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Frandeman said:


> Just don't get caught
> 
> Or *blame some idiot*
> 
> Works for me ????


 @Carllo qualifies


----------



## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

FelonE said:


> Also some people out here think they're bad but can't handle it in prison.
> 
> I know some lad locally who was like this and tried to hang himself,two cells away from mine.
> 
> ...


imo,the psychological issues caused by other prisoners and being unable to escape it, is the thing most prisoners find hardest to handle...

there is no part of a jail you cannot be got at,even on protection you can be got to

jail politics are impossible to escape and fvck most folks heads,as your playing with your own life,and there isn't an opt out choice

in the same week a 42 year old man, and a 23 year old man hung themselves

there were multiple stabbings,slashing's,scalding's and heavy beatings to contend with on a daily basis...

a guy was stabbed 17 times for not getting off the hall phone quick enough

i saw 2 officers witness a guy get slashed,then they stood and watch the slasher, calmly walk to the toilet and flush the razor...

later when i asked the officer what that was all about,he replied " i don't get paid enough to get involved, they live here,i only work here,i'm not getting stabbed for being a witness "

in there it's a fvcking jungle and it's every man for themselves,unless you have people you know from the outside doing time with you,or people you know on the outside have some of they're people doing time that will back you up

as FelonE said,unless you have been in a jail on either side of the fence,you will never truly understand the psychology of jail

cheers shaun

P.S. You were lucky @FelonE,we had p1ss pots and no tv's mate


----------



## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

ellisrimmer said:


> Do people actually get bum raped in prison here? is that something you need to be worried about?


people get raped in prison mate

i have witnessed officers, making sure certain prisoners were put in the same cell,because they knew if they fed the crazy prisoner young lads,then he wouldn't disrupt the hall so much

i watched a prison officer walk in on the crazy prisoner,while he was forcing a young lad to have an bowel anenima,because he thought the young lad was carrying drugs inside him,the officer said " oh your busy just now doctor,i'll come back later " and walked away laughing,leaving the young lad with a blade at his throat to endure what was happening

cheers shaun


----------



## ellisrimmer (Sep 9, 2012)

the wee man said:


> people get raped in prison mate
> 
> i have witnessed officers, making sure certain prisoners were put in the same cell,because they knew if they fed the crazy prisoner young lads,then he wouldn't disrupt the hall so much
> 
> ...


ugh, sounds grim


----------



## armor king (Sep 29, 2013)

Nope and I'm not trying to


----------



## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

Verno said:


> Yes mate I've delt with quite a few suffering from institutionalisation. A couple who've even topped themselves in the end.


a prisoner i knew called old Dougie was a great example of that mate

after doing his latest sentence he gets out a week before xmas,he shouts to an officer on the way out,keep ma cell for me...

Dougie got out HMP Edinburgh,walks down the St James multi-storey carpark,goes to the very top level,then threatens to throw himself off...

why ?

so he can get back to jail for xmas,as his car park stunt had broke his parole within 2 hours of being released

sad state of affairs,as Dougie wasn't a bad person,he was merely institutionalised

cheers shaun


----------



## SCOOT123 (Jul 12, 2013)

FelonE said:


> Generally being a nob


Lmao! That was the main point on your statement ?


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

SCOOT123 said:


> Lmao! That was the main point on your statement ?


I agree


----------



## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

Verno said:


> No probs mate. As soon as I've got down out of your tree I'll come in and we can sort it over a cuppa.
> 
> Btw your back window lock needs fixing :innocent:


You've lost me.....................


----------



## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

ellisrimmer said:


> Do people actually get bum raped in prison here? is that something you need to be worried about?


It's not rape when he's your prison wife.


----------



## special-k25 (Aug 8, 2011)

ellisrimmer said:


> Do people actually get bum raped in prison here? is that something you need to be worried about?


i got 5and half years in 2009 and ive never known it to happen although i know they caught 2 lifers in my jail in the act although it weren't rape apparently, my friend when he was in altcourse said someone did. i know in Risley there was lads making people take a **** on a piece of paper to prove they didn't have drugs on them and if they refused they got pinned down and had a plastic spoon shoved up there ass to check so i guess that could be classed as rape


----------



## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

special-k25 said:


> i got 5and half years in 2009 and ive never known it to happen although i know they caught 2 lifers in my jail in the act although it weren't rape apparently, my friend when he was in altcourse said someone did. i know in Risley there was lads making people take a **** on a piece of paper to prove they didn't have drugs on them and if they refused they got pinned down and had a plastic spoon shoved up there ass to check so i guess that could be classed as rape


ive heard the spoon up the ar$e happening in HMP Perth,but at HMP Edinburgh a bowel enema was the method of choice...

a plastic bottle,with the outer part of a biro pen through the bottle cap,bottle filled with shampoo and warm water...

pen inserted up ar$e,soapy water emptied up said ar$e,then the prisoner made do a hand stand,until the soapy water made itself through the intestines..

when the prisoner had done this for long enough,he was then made squat over a mop pail and the full contents were $hat into the mop pail,then he was made fish the drugs out the soapy water and sh1t filled pail

it's a whole other world in prison mate

cheers shaun


----------



## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Omen669 said:


> You've lost me.....................


I've not, I'm still watching you :wink:

@FelonE will explain


----------



## special-k25 (Aug 8, 2011)

the wee man said:


> ive heard the spoon up the ar$e happening in HMP Perth,but at HMP Edinburgh a bowel enema was the method of choice...
> 
> a plastic bottle,with the outer part of a biro pen through the bottle cap,bottle filled with shampoo and warm water...
> 
> ...


kinell not heard of that one before. tbf i didn't really see anything too extreme the odd fight here and there, its more the cat a prisons where the mad **** goes on


----------



## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

Verno said:


> I've not, I'm still watching you :wink:
> 
> @FelonE will explain


your going to scare that poor lad off the forum mate :lol:

cheers shaun


----------



## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

the wee man said:


> your going to scare that poor lad off the forum mate :lol:
> 
> cheers shaun


Ahhh I'm just messing with him


----------



## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

Verno said:


> I've not, I'm still watching you :wink:
> 
> @FelonE will explain


Just so you all know, I do Karate


----------



## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

special-k25 said:


> kinell not heard of that one before. tbf i didn't really see anything too extreme the odd fight here and there, its more the cat a prisons where the mad **** goes on


i'm talking Scottish prison system back in the nineties,but it still goes on today

cheers shaun


----------



## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Omen669 said:


> Just so you all know, I do Karate


I did karate too.......he was sh!t


----------



## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

Omen669 said:


> Just so you all know, I do Karate


big @Verno loves it when they struggle a bit mate

it's all foreplay to him 

cheers shaun


----------



## Bora (Dec 27, 2011)

Omen669 said:


> Just so you all know, I do Karate


 @Verno loves a struggle cuddle dont worry


----------



## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

Has all this talk of rape and prison got you guys horny? I've seen American History X. My anus will not be bleeding anytime soon.


----------



## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

the wee man said:


> i'm talking Scottish prison system back in the nineties,but it still goes on today
> 
> cheers shaun


Obviously this is a unit not a prison: started a shift and a young lad comes to tell me He's been raped! Long story short - one lad say to the other " you let me do you up the Harris then you can do me" so first lad sh4gs the second lad then tells second lad to do one. Hence rape :lol:

Was crying with laughter when I found out!!


----------



## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

Verno said:


> Obviously this is a unit not a prison: started a shift and a young lad comes to tell me He's been raped! Long story short - one lad say to the other " you let me do you up the Harris then you can do me" so first lad sh4gs the second lad then tells second lad to do one. Hence rape :lol:
> 
> Was crying with laughter when I found out!!


Trusting a convict with his ar%e was his biggest downfall.


----------



## MR RIGSBY (Jun 12, 2007)

the wee man said:


> ive heard the spoon up the ar$e happening in HMP Perth,but at HMP Edinburgh a bowel enema was the method of choice...
> 
> a plastic bottle,with the outer part of a biro pen through the bottle cap,bottle filled with shampoo and warm water...
> 
> ...


Guy I know went to Cambodia a few years ago, when he went through customs he was suspected of carrying drugs. He claims he was made to do exactly what you've just described by the authorities over there, before he was released. Not sure if it's true but that is exactly what he described


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Verno said:


> I've not, I'm still watching you :wink:
> 
> @FelonE will explain


You're a known stalker


----------



## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

FelonE said:


> @Carllo qualifies


I'm an idiot because iv stolen people's cars or burgled there homes then bin to prison and thinks it's cool? Ok


----------



## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

MR RIGSBY said:


> Guy I know went to Cambodia a few years ago, when he went through customs he was suspected of carrying drugs. He claims he was made to do exactly what you've just described by the authorities over there, before he was released. Not sure if it's true but that is exactly what he described


Happens a lot when a man is about to have sex with a woman. He will promise her the world until cums, then it's lights out he's asleep.


----------



## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

Carllo said:


> I'm an idiot because iv *stolen people's cars or burgled there homes then bin to prison *and thinks it's cool? Ok


Not that i'm taking sides in your love and hate relationship, but he does have a point.


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Carllo said:


> I'm an idiot because *iv* stolen people's cars or burgled there homes then *bin* to prison and thinks it's cool? Ok


I've

Been

Idiot


----------



## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

Good comeback


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Omen669 said:


> Not that i'm taking sides in your love and hate relationship, but he does have a point.


Never burgled a house in my life. No point

Have never thought it's cool.No point

Which points did you agree with mate?lol


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Carllo said:


> Good comeback


Bet you checked the spelling before you posted that didn't you?


----------



## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

Even at the point you called yourself felone?


----------



## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Carllo said:


> I'm an idiot because iv stolen people's cars or burgled there homes then bin to prison and thinks it's cool? Ok


At what point did he say it's cool?

Multiple posts saying he's changed, exactly wtf do you want him to say?

You've never done anything wrong?


----------



## Plate (May 14, 2015)

@FelonE the only thing that bothers me is stealing cars as I had mine stolen, we where all in bed when they got in for the keys and it was a beast of a car, but with you you have done it, maybe not gone in the house for the keys but you have paid the price and done you're time and grown up and realised you was being a nob and changed yourself.. That's why I can't understand why people won't just leave it alone... What does it matter now, he's took the punishment and sorted himself out!


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Carllo said:


> Even at the point you called yourself felone?


Lol ok

Read my sig


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Plate said:


> @FelonE the only thing that bothers me is stealing cars as I had mine stolen, we where all in bed when they got in for the keys and it was a beast of a car, but with you you have done it, maybe not gone in the house for the keys but you have paid the price and done you're time and grown up and realised you was being a nob and changed yourself.. That's why I can't understand why people won't just leave it alone... What does it matter now, he's took the punishment and sorted himself out!


I was 16 mate.


----------



## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Carllo said:


> I'm an idiot because iv stolen people's cars or burgled there homes then bin to prison and thinks it's cool? Ok


And not to mention you've posted before about using gear. When your greenhouse windows don't smash, then come back and have a go........


----------



## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

Lol using some gear a year or 2 ago is exactly like being a criminal


----------



## Plate (May 14, 2015)

FelonE said:


> I was 16 mate.


Everybody gets into dodgy **** at that age, some should just be quicker :laugh:


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Verno said:


> And not to mention you've posted before about using gear. When your greenhouse windows don't smash, then come back and have a go........


Mate don't worry about it. Ignorant people that have probably never been in any kind of fvcked up situation and still live with their parents.

Yeah I've been to prison,so fvcking what. Lots of people in this thread have. I literally couldn't give a sniff of a fvck what any little pleb on here thinks.

In future if people aren't ready for the answer......don't ask the question.


----------



## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

All I asked was about work after prison like someone else did lol

Was more like you wasn't ready for the questions


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Plate said:


> Everybody gets into dodgy **** at that age, some should just be quicker :laugh:


Law of averages mate. Do something enough times and you'll get caught eventually. I didn't give a fvck when I was 16 tbh,don't give much of one now.


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Carllo said:


> All I asked was about work after prison like someone else did lol
> 
> Was more like you wasn't ready for the questions


Ok


----------



## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

FelonE said:


> Mate don't worry about it. Ignorant people that have probably never been in any kind of fvcked up situation and still live with their parents.
> 
> Yeah I've been to prison,so fvcking what. Lots of people in this thread have. I literally couldn't give a sniff of a fvck what any little pleb on here thinks.
> 
> In future if people aren't ready for the answer......don't ask the question.


Exactly mate

Hypocrites though.....do my fcukin swede in!


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Verno said:


> Exactly mate
> 
> Hypocrites though.....do my fcukin swede in!


Welcome to the internet lol gives little dweebs a chance to be brave,bless em lol


----------



## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

Why being brave, only asked questions or said what I thought? No need to get mad and give threats


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Carllo said:


> Why being brave, only asked questions or said what I thought? No need to get mad and give threats


You think that's a threat? loool you've lived a sheltered life my friend. It's cute


----------



## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

This the felone side coming out, resorting to violence. It's a forum no need to get angry


----------



## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Carllo said:


> Why being brave, only asked questions or said what I thought? No need to get mad and give threats


Don't play dumb pal, the implication was there and easy to see.

@Omen669 reps for being such a good sport earlier


----------



## Bora (Dec 27, 2011)

Carllo said:


> This the felone side coming out, resorting to violence. It's a forum no need to get angry


whos getting angry and making "threats" as you say? all i see is banter


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Carllo said:


> This the felone side coming out, resorting to violence. It's a forum no need to get angry


Lool Angry? I'm sat here laughing at you. People like you don't make me angry,you make me chuckle. I like chatting to people like you,stops me getting to serious xxx


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Bora said:


> whos getting angry and making "threats" as you say? all i see is banter


Haha drama queen


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

@Carllo Trolling Level-Novice


----------



## MFM (Jul 25, 2013)

Well if you wonder whether bumming is real in any prison... yes it is.


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

@banzi can you give @Carllo some trolling pointers please mate,he's failing miserably.


----------



## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Carllo said:


> Lol using some gear a year or 2 ago is exactly like being a criminal


Srs?? You can't be that naive!

It wasn't pharma mate or on a script ......you are a criminal!


----------



## Plate (May 14, 2015)

FelonE said:


> Haha drama queen


That's assault..


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Plate said:


> That's assault..


Assualt and peppers here dun dun dun.............


----------



## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

Why am I trolling ? Because I don't agree with what you've done and asked about work I'm trolling ?

Other people getting bothered about it


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Carllo said:


> Why am I trolling ? Because I don't agree with what you've done and asked about work I'm trolling ?
> 
> Other people getting bothered about it


I think you're a lovely lad and I understand you feel the need to keep speaking to me......who could blame you but mate seriously,come on. It was one night.......sorry I didn't call. It's not me it's you


----------



## MFM (Jul 25, 2013)

Carllo said:


> Why am I trolling ? Because I don't agree with what you've done and asked about work I'm trolling ?
> 
> Other people getting bothered about it


"Carllo is imfamous around these parts".

It looks more like you're the outlaw here bud. :laugh:


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

@Carllo come on let's talk it out. I'd hate for us to not be friends.

I'll put the kettle on.....do you like Rich Tea?


----------



## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

I already asked what I wanted to ask

If everyone's not happy with that il let you guys get on with it


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Carllo said:


> I already asked what I wanted to ask
> 
> If everyone's not happy with that il let you guys get on with it


 @Carllo don't go. You'll get the hang of it sweetcheeks


----------



## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

Sweetcheeks? Sounds like it's got to you and your trying to put on a front now

I take it back, I agree with you prison is cool and you've done well


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Carllo said:


> Sweetcheeks? Sounds like it's got to you and your trying to put on a front now
> 
> I take it back, I agree with you prison is cool and you've done well


Carllo Carllo Carllo.......sigh


----------



## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Carllo said:


> Sweetcheeks? Sounds like it's got to you and your trying to put on a front now
> 
> I take it back, I agree with you prison is cool and you've done well


You don't fancy replying to my last post then crim?


----------



## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

Verno said:


> Don't play dumb pal, the implication was there and easy to see.
> 
> @Omen669 reps for being such a good sport earlier


Thanks. I know you lot don't want to bum my head off really.........


----------



## garethd93 (Nov 28, 2014)

Haven't been myself, never even visited one. interesting to read though, my GF step-brother got life 4 years ago.


----------



## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

Verno said:


> You don't fancy replying to my last post then crim?


If you think doing a cycle is comparable to the crimes mentioned in this thread then yes I'm a criminal


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Carllo said:


> If you think doing a cycle is comparable to the crimes mentioned in this thread then yes I'm a criminal


Did you buy the gear legally?


----------



## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

FelonE said:


> Never burgled a house in my life. No point
> 
> Have never thought it's cool.No point
> 
> Which points did you agree with mate?lol


Being a little **** bag and getting nicked for your crimes. But most people have done something they shouldn't have. I've done things i'm not proud of. It's how you live your life after that counts... Except if you are convicted Peado then you will always be one


----------



## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Carllo said:


> If you think doing a cycle is comparable to the crimes mentioned in this thread then yes I'm a criminal


A crime is a crime pal. The severity is academic *if* you want to wade into a thread and cast aspersions on someone's character when you yourself are no angel.

I couldn't give a flying fcuk what you have or haven't done. But I'll bet it's a loooong way down off that hypocritical horse!


----------



## Carllo (Feb 14, 2012)

Yes while on holiday where it's legal

Even if it wasn't i said it's not comparable, didn't cause anyone to lose a car or property


----------



## garethd93 (Nov 28, 2014)

Carllo said:


> Yes while on holiday where it's legal
> 
> Even if it wasn't i said it's not comparable, didn't cause anyone to lose a car or property


everyone makes mistakes, that's why they put rubbers on the end of pencils.


----------



## MFM (Jul 25, 2013)

I lost my virginity to this woman once. That was a right crime. The bint never even said thank you.


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Omen669 said:


> Being a little **** bag and getting nicked for your crimes. But most people have done something they shouldn't have. I've done things i'm not proud of. It's how you live your life after that counts... Except if you are convicted Peado then you will always be one


He said I thought going to prison is cool. Of course it isn't cool,its fvcking stupid.

Thing is not everyone has had a perfect life.

I get a few people asking me to speak their kid who's going off the rails, I get asked because people know I don't think prison is good at all.

I've got one lad in to the gym life and now he's not getting in trouble. For people to judge me on here,people that don't know me is ridiculous.

I'm open about my past but that isn't me glamourising it.


----------



## coke (Jan 17, 2015)

Been locked up a fair few times, been to court 5 times, the last time was the wake up call i needed, narrowly missed getting a few months and got community service instead. That was 10 years a go and not been in any bother since! fuk going to jail bad enough been locked up for a weekend!


----------



## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Carllo said:


> Yes while on holiday where it's legal
> 
> Even if it wasn't i said it's not comparable, didn't cause anyone to lose a car or property


How can anyone be so ignorant and delusional?


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

MFM said:


> I lost my virginity to this woman once. That was a right crime. The bint never even said thank you.


I've taught my mum better than that,I'll have a word


----------



## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

FelonE said:


> He said I thought going to prison is cool. Of course it isn't cool,its fvcking stupid.
> 
> Thing is not everyone has had a perfect life.
> 
> ...


It is ridiculous but it's forum mentality and how they are. You open yourself up to criticism, praise, jokes posting things on here about your personal life.


----------



## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Carllo said:


> Yes while on holiday where it's legal
> 
> Even if it wasn't i said it's not comparable, didn't cause anyone to lose a car or property


Lol if you wanna lie and talk bollox mate then delete your thread history. :lol:


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Omen669 said:


> It is ridiculous but it's forum mentality and how they are. You open yourself up to criticism, praise, jokes posting things on here about your personal life.


That doesn't bother me it's the pure ignorance of some people


----------



## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

FelonE said:


> That doesn't bother me it's the pure ignorance of some people


Yes, some people can be deluded.


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Omen669 said:


> Yes, some people can be deluded.


I think some people struggle to understand we all come from different backgrounds and environments.

I've seen a lot of people I know who lived like me either die or become junkies. I've come out of it well. I'm lucky.


----------



## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

MFM said:


> Well if you wonder whether bumming is real in any prison... yes it is.


You wouldn't want to be sent to that prison over a few parking tickets would you.


----------



## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

FelonE said:


> I think some people struggle to understand we all come from different backgrounds and environments.
> 
> I've seen a lot of people I know who lived like me either die or become junkies. I've come out of it well. I'm lucky.


Playing devils advocate- But not everyone who comes from a bad background turns to crime or drugs. The same as not everyone with a perfect upbringing, has never been to prison. It takes all sorts.


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Omen669 said:


> Playing devils advocate- But not everyone who comes from a bad background turns to crime or drugs. The same as not everyone with a perfect upbringing, has never been to prison. It takes all sorts.


You're right.


----------



## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

FelonE said:


> I think some people struggle to understand we all come from different backgrounds and environments.
> 
> I've seen a lot of people I know who lived like me either die or become junkies. I've come out of it well. I'm lucky.


And I've seen plenty of whiter than white fellas come for assessments as they are on suicide watch looking at years inside for killing a kid whilst driving and texting!

All it takes is one mistake..................

Hopefully our "friend" is as much of an angel as he thinks he is.


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Verno said:


> And I've seen plenty of whiter than white fellas come for assessments as they are on suicide watch looking at years inside for killing a kid whilst driving and texting!
> 
> All it takes is one mistake..................


That's why I laugh when people say they'll never go to prison.

Anyone can go to prison


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## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

FelonE said:


> That's why I laugh when people say they'll never go to prison.
> 
> Anyone can go to prison


Good point.


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## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

Verno said:


> And I've seen plenty of whiter than white fellas come for assessments as they are on suicide watch looking at years inside for killing a kid whilst driving and texting!
> 
> All it takes is one mistake..................
> 
> Hopefully our "friend" is as much of an angel as he thinks he is.





FelonE said:


> That's why I laugh when people say they'll never go to prison.
> 
> Anyone can go to prison


Good point.


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## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

I must say. I never predicted this would turn into a personal shiite slinging match aimed at a few individuals........


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## Omen669 (Jun 11, 2015)

sneeky_dave said:


> I must say. I never predicted this would turn into a personal shiite slinging match aimed at a few individuals........


I know, I wanted to hear from some hard crims


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

sneeky_dave said:


> I must say. I never predicted this would turn into a personal shiite slinging match aimed at a few individuals........


Hard life being popular lol everyone wants my attention


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## squater (Apr 5, 2015)

i have.

sex was much better than the food

wait wut?


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## welbeck (Jul 23, 2010)

Yes once, I used to be a very bad lad when I was younger. I've had a couple of close calls too, I took a sawn off shotgun off a mate who'd try to shoot his cheating girlfriend and I was prosecuted for possession of a firearm, I went to court trice before the prosecution dropped the charge against me (wanxers). He got bound over for 12 months because he was in the navy and was off the the Arabian gulf the following week.


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## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

MR RIGSBY said:


> Guy I know went to Cambodia a few years ago, when he went through customs he was suspected of carrying drugs. He claims he was made to do exactly what you've just described by the authorities over there, before he was released. Not sure if it's true but that is exactly what he described


in Scotland customs give you this drink that makes the sh1t fly from you...

first they X Ray your stomach and intestines...

if they see anything inside you...

they put you in a cell with a full glass front

all that's in the cell is a glass box,with wire mesh mid way down, and with a toilet seat built in to the top of the box...

when you sh1t the wire mesh catches said sh1t,then water jets blast the sh1t,if there's any parcels/packages inside you,they're left on the mesh and you get charged

they can hold you for as long as it takes to empty your sh1t system

Police drug squad can have you internally searched, by a doctor,sticking his fingers up your ar$e,then X Rays

cheers shaun


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

the wee man said:


> in Scotland customs give you this drink that makes the sh1t fly from you...
> 
> first they X Ray your stomach and intestines...
> 
> ...


Tennants Super?


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

the wee man said:


> in Scotland customs give you this drink that makes the sh1t fly from you...
> 
> first they X Ray your stomach and intestines...
> 
> ...


Hmmmm interesting


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## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

FelonE said:


> Hard life being popular lol everyone wants my attention


why they picking on you Paul ?

bunch of t1ts...

fvck em mate :thumbup1:

cheers shaun


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## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

Verno said:


> Hmmmm interesting


you want me give a tip off to your local drug squad mate :lol:

cheers shaun


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

the wee man said:


> why they picking on you Paul ?
> 
> bunch of t1ts...
> 
> ...


It's their way of flirting

Cheers Paul


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## nWo (Mar 25, 2014)

Verno said:


> Hmmmm interesting


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

the wee man said:


> you want me give a tip off to your local drug squad mate :lol:
> 
> cheers shaun


Do it, I'll terrify em :devil2:


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## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

FelonE said:


> I think some people struggle to understand we all come from different backgrounds and environments.
> 
> I've seen a lot of people I know who lived like me either die or become junkies. I've come out of it well. I'm lucky.


to a point we're all products of our environments...

we were the lucky fvckers that survived and changed our life's mate...

ive lost count of how many funerals ive attended :no:

tis a fvcked up world we live in

cheers shaun


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

>


Ah you went on the bus trip as well


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## nWo (Mar 25, 2014)

Verno said:


> Ah you went on the bus trip as well


I'll never forget it h34r:


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## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

Verno said:


> Do it, I'll terrify em :devil2:


the ba$tards are slick at their job mate...

they'd most likely Tazer the sh1t out you...

wonder if test/tren would counter act sh1t like that ?

pcp seems to 

cheers shaun

P.S. Seeing you chucking squad about, would be a nice sight indeed mate :thumbup1:


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

the wee man said:


> the ba$tards are slick at their job mate...
> 
> *they'd most likely Tazer the sh1t out you...*
> 
> ...


Mate this just keeps getting better! What's their No? :lol:


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## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

Verno said:


> Mate this just keeps getting better! What's their No? :lol:


 :lol: :lol: :lol:

bet you'd paint targets on your nipples,ya mad [email protected] 

cheers shaun


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

the wee man said:


> :lol: :lol: :lol:
> 
> bet you'd paint targets on your nipples,ya mad [email protected]
> 
> cheers shaun


Now there's an idea!


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## naturalun (Mar 21, 2014)

SILV3RBACK said:


> Does military jail count? MCTC Colchester.


What did you go Colchester for? I narrowly avoided last year lol. Headbutted a superior officer. I ended up with a 2 day fine but it dragged out for 6 months, I was stalling/seeking legal advice and there were some breaches on their part lol, not sure what my lawyer sorted it.


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## BigAlpha (Apr 9, 2014)

12 times. No convictions. In the US police think they are hurting you by adding unjustifiable charges. In the end, when I get out and get with my attorney they have no probably cause and end up having to let me go. Most of my charges start with battery. Generally some fool deciding that he wants to fight. I'm rarely the one to throw the first punch or instigate. Other times I've gone to jail for not letting the police violate my rights. They call it resisting arrest. Funny enough though, how can you be resisting arrest without a charge to be arrested for? I don't talk to police. I don't open my door when they knock. I mind my business by working and taking care of my family as I should. I'm on the general pursuit of happiness and choose not to be bothered by police that think they are the Judge, jury and executioner.


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## BB_999 (Feb 20, 2006)

Only to visit people.


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

The Lifter said:


> Only to visit people.


I sent you a V.O

You never came


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## GreatPretender (Oct 17, 2012)

I go half crazy being left alone with my thoughts driving to work and back... Imagine being locked in a cell 24/7? I'd be a loon within days


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## BB_999 (Feb 20, 2006)

FelonE said:


> I sent you a V.O
> 
> You never came


Couldn't bear to see you in a cage mate.


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

The Lifter said:


> Couldn't bear to see you in a cage mate.


Cheers


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## Bataz (Jan 21, 2014)

Army Jail, but it's nothing like a civvy nick.


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## Acidreflux (Mar 3, 2015)

Definitely not.... I think its a crying shame to waste years of your life in a 8x4 cell living everyday for the next gym session! Playing pool and cards for Maryland cookies?? I don't know what's the world coming to!


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## LRB (Jan 26, 2015)

Never been, never will, id vanish before it got to that

If got caught doing what i do my GF's genitals on Tren cycle id be locked up for good !!


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Acidreflux said:


> Definitely not.... I think its a crying shame to waste years of your life in a 8x4 cell living everyday for the next gym session! Playing pool and cards for Maryland cookies?? I don't know what's the world coming to!


Agreed. Waste of life


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

LRB said:


> Never been, never will, id vanish before it got to that
> 
> If got caught doing what i do my GF's genitals on Tren cycle id be locked up for good !!


Tin opener?


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## walton21 (Aug 11, 2008)

I've been lucky to never get sent down, there was a few times i came very very close, spent most of my teens in and out of cells and court rooms, cant even remember half the **** i got done for.

Looking back now i would of done things a hell of alot different........................like not drink and commit crime cause thats when i get caught hahahahahahaha

Think the last thing i was in court for was possession of offensive weapon and nearly got sent down for that, judge told me he isnt sending me down cause prisons are full. He gave me 12 months community service, £1000 fine, 12 months probabtion and was told by the judge if i ever step foot in his court room again i will be going to prison no matter what. That was back in 2007 never did my community service so got put on tag for 5 months got it off 2 days before christmas day 2008 and been good ever since lol


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## celtic88 (Jun 16, 2015)

Done 3 different jail sentences in 3 different places so have done my fair share. Not proud of it but most of it down to drinking and scrapping.

First was when I was in the Army - got 4 months in Colchester - army jail.

Was spending a summer in USA after that and got into bother over there. Was over a month in jail there before getting deported and a 10 year ban from going back.

Then last year got an 18 month sentence - 9 months suspended - over here in Ireland. Was in Mountjoy Prison in Dublin - a ****hole that was opened in the 1800s and is still a prison now.

Since getting out I've not been in trouble over here again thankfully as I would hate to go back. I did get arrested a few months ago on a stag weekend in Bristol for drunk and disorderly. Just spent the night in the cell and got a caution.


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## Patch-Adams (Sep 19, 2014)

Did 8 months in 2013. Didn't do it and was found not guilty.

Didn't find prison that hard but is a massive waste of time being inside.


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## C.Hill (Nov 21, 2010)

Some bloke walked up to the counter and said, "Burger and chips, please."

"Certainly, Sir," I replied. "Are you eating in or taking out?"

"**** off you cúnt," he snapped, before walking off with his food.

I love working in the prison canteen.


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## garethd93 (Nov 28, 2014)

Patch-Adams said:


> Did 8 months in 2013. Didn't do it and was found not guilty.
> 
> Didn't find prison that hard but is a massive waste of time being inside.


Did you get compensation for 8 months of your life you won't ever get back?


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## Varg (May 17, 2010)

Nope never, and don't fancy it.

I've never been a 'hard' man, and couldn't do with all the playground bully boys.

How do all these white collar guys cope, like Jeffrey Archer? Do they get put in with the general prison population?


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## Patch-Adams (Sep 19, 2014)

garethd93 said:


> Did you get compensation for 8 months of your life you won't ever get back?


No mate. No one gets compensation for time spent on remand. I have talked about this in the past on this forum.



Varg said:


> Nope never, and don't fancy it.
> 
> I've never been a 'hard' man, and couldn't do with all the playground bully boys.
> 
> How do all these white collar guys cope, like Jeffrey Archer? Do they get put in with the general prison population?


The vast majority of people who were beaten up owed people things or were being mouthy. I didn't see anyone getting bullied without a reason. I didn't have anyone treat me badly in my 8 months. In fact they were all pretty helpful.


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## Bomber1966 (Aug 19, 2010)

only professionally...

Put lots of people in jail, though... Goes with the turf.


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## FuqOutDaWhey (Apr 29, 2015)

Bomber1966 said:


> only professionally...
> 
> Put lots of people in jail, though... Goes with the turf.


Are you dog the bounty hunter?


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## Bomber1966 (Aug 19, 2010)

BrahmaBull said:


> Are you dog the bounty hunter?


Nope.... My job was against very bad people doing bad things.... Won a few lost a few... Retiring soon


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## celtic88 (Jun 16, 2015)

Patch-Adams said:


> No mate. No one gets compensation for time spent on remand. I have talked about this in the past on this forum.
> 
> The vast majority of people who were beaten up owed people things or were being mouthy. I didn't see anyone getting bullied without a reason. I didn't have anyone treat me badly in my 8 months. In fact they were all pretty helpful.


Being in prison is hard enough when you are there for something you have done - must be 10 times worse if you are there for something you haven't even done. 8 months is a long time to be locked up for waiting to go to court. Eventhough I've been in prison I sort of thought that they would need pretty strong evidence against you to put you on remand.

I know you don't get compensation but wonder if you get 'credit' for the time you have served. Say if you ended up back in court for something and ended up getting a prison sentence would they take 8 months off it for time you have already served?


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## Patch-Adams (Sep 19, 2014)

celtic88 said:


> Being in prison is hard enough when you are there for something you have done - must be 10 times worse if you are there for something you haven't even done. 8 months is a long time to be locked up for waiting to go to court. Eventhough I've been in prison I sort of thought that they would need pretty strong evidence against you to put you on remand.
> 
> I know you don't get compensation but wonder if you get 'credit' for the time you have served. Say if you ended up back in court for something and ended up getting a prison sentence would they take 8 months off it for time you have already served?


I highly doubt you get any credit.

I have no idea how I was remanded. Never been in trouble before. I met people on the same charge who had previous but got bail. The strength of the evidence isn't a deciding factor. It is perceived risk that the defendant will fail to appear for trial, intimidate witnesses, or commit further offences. The CPS claimed I committed the offence under stress so would likely do it again and as I wasn't local might not appear for the trial. That's all it took.


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## skaar (Jun 14, 2015)

Does an institution for the criminally insane count? ????


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## T.C. (Jun 15, 2015)

No never. Don't think I would cope very well, lol


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

T.C. said:


> No never. Don't think I would cope very well, lol


I'd look after you babe


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## Plate (May 14, 2015)

FelonE said:


> I'd look after you babe


Would you name him pockets :laugh:


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Plate said:


> Would you name him pockets


Daisy


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## Plate (May 14, 2015)

FelonE said:


> Daisy


Why daisy?


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Plate said:


> Why daisy?


Cos I'd be driving him


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## Yes (May 4, 2014)

FelonE said:


> Cos I'd be driving him


Did people form racial groups like they do in American prison.s

Also, ever see any orientals in there?


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Nicked a calender once....got 12 months.... :whistling:

Second offense was stealing a Rolex watch. Got captured :innocent: My case ended up in the local rag With the headline: Man Who Steals Watch Faces Time :laugh:


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

I [email protected] a Chinese woman once......10 minutes later I wanted another one lol


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## Plate (May 14, 2015)

FelonE said:


> Cos I'd be driving him


:laugh: brilliant!


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Yes said:


> Did people form racial groups like they do in American prison.s
> 
> Also, ever see any orientals in there?


Not exactly but....I had a fight with a Muslim lad (i say fight,i punched him in the face five times and he tried to hit me with a coffee jar in a sock but missed) and all the Muslims got together and started gobbing off.

I had quite a few white lads say they're ready for it if it kicks off but it didn't.

All because he called me a honky. His mate this big black lad said there was no need to punch him up for that. I said so if I called you a ****** you'd be cool with it,he said yeah fair enough.

Yeah was orientels in there


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## Yes (May 4, 2014)

FelonE said:


> Not exactly but....I had a fight with a Muslim lad (i say fight,i punched him in the face five times and he tried to hit me with a coffee jar in a sock but missed) and all the Muslims got together and started gobbing off.
> 
> I had quite a few white lads say they're ready for it if it kicks off but it didn't.
> 
> All because he called me a honky. His mate this big black lad said there was no need to punch him up for that. I said so if I called you a ****** you'd be cool with it,he said yeah fair enough.


So it is kinda segregated then?

Would you get any trouble if you just stayed by yourself, alone. Not forming any groups?


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## Plate (May 14, 2015)

FelonE said:


> Not exactly but....I had a fight with a Muslim lad (i say fight,i punched him in the face five times and he tried to hit me with a coffee jar in a sock but missed) and all the Muslims got together and started gobbing off.
> 
> I had quite a few white lads say they're ready for it if it kicks off but it didn't.
> 
> ...


Good lad.. That the sh1t I like to hear mate!


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Yes said:


> So it is kinda segregated then?
> 
> Would you get any trouble if you just stayed by yourself, alone. Not forming any groups?


Not segregated at all mate,you're all in with each other.

From what I've seen its normally the quiet ones that d1ckheads try it with.

Alot of people try it mate but as long as you let them see you're not a pr1ck you'll be ok.


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

FelonE said:


> Cos I'd be driving him


Fcukin LOL


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## Kazza61 (Jun 14, 2008)

Yes said:


> So it is kinda segregated then?
> 
> Would you get any trouble if you just stayed by yourself, alone. Not forming any groups?


You can totally think you're keeping out of trouble but the guy you share a cell with gets in a ton of debt then asks to be moved because he's in fear of his life then guess what - you automatically inherit the debt and all the sh1te that goes with it! You don't need to go looking for trouble in jail. It finds you easily enough.


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## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

Yes said:


> So it is kinda segregated then?
> 
> Would you get any trouble if you just stayed by yourself, alone. Not forming any groups?


if you keep yourself to yourself...

at first you'll get a few cvnts trying to test you,as long as you start swinging fists or lift a weapon,they will leave you alone and go for a softer target

you don't stand up for yourself and you'll be in a world of sh1t mate...

i'm only 5ft 3,a few t1ts thought my height made me an easy target...

i knocked the first t1t out

when a 2nd t1t tried his luck,i made sure i made a right mess of him..

peace and quiet after that mate

cheers shaun

P.S. You can't hide in a jail or keep out the road mate


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## vetran (Oct 17, 2009)

strangeways 1985 saw this little guy strutting about the wing in his slippers,i thought fckn loony turned out he was a loony it was mad frankie frazier he was due to be released and been knocked down to cat c,


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## Bora (Dec 27, 2011)

the wee man said:


> if you keep yourself to yourself...
> 
> at first you'll get a few cvnts trying to test you,as long as you start swinging fists or lift a weapon,they will leave you alone and go for a softer target
> 
> ...


only been inside once and my experience is when i got onto induction wing and people knew you where new, asking for smokes, had 1 lad bang on my pad saying he would sort me out in association next morning , flapped his **** when i asked what his problem was. seen lad get slashed on the yard screws done nothing, was funny he was a smack head but we got lock down that night


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## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

Bora said:


> only been inside once and my experience is when i got onto induction wing and people knew you where new, asking for smokes, had 1 lad bang on my pad saying he would sort me out in association next morning , flapped his **** when i asked what his problem was. seen lad get slashed on the yard screws done nothing, was funny he was a smack head but we got lock down that night


they're like sharks circling when a new guy comes in,begging, thieving,bully boy, ba$tards they be

screws rarely give a fvck,and the new screws were clueless mate

the ones that did a good job had been there for 25 to 30 years, and were good old school screws,who would help you,but if you fvcked with them,thought nothing of pulling you in a cell and setting about you

i preffered the old school lot,you knew where you stood with them,also they had decades of crazy stories to tell...

i met a few good officers but they were all old school

cheers shaun


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## celtic88 (Jun 16, 2015)

Suppose all prisons can be different but would agree that prison is no place for a loner. Best off just trying to fit in. People tend to get on with people they have stuff in common in - from the same place, people they know, common interests, sometimes type of thing they are in for. There are always some looking to cause **** and you have to stand up if you are tested and show you are not a pushover but it's not as bad as people think. There are scraps but there ares scraps and worse on the street every weekend. Just part of life. Most of the trouble I saw was down to stuff that had happened on the outside or people getting into debt or borrowing stuff and down to drugs. When you first go in you are being sussed out - like I said as long as you stand up for yourself you should be ok but would definitely be a mistake to try and make out you are a big man.

Jail in USA was different to over here but nothing like you see on TV and movies - but it was only jail not a max security prison or what you see in the movies. One of my cellmates there was a black lad , about the same age as me, and we got on well - no problems. Actually saw less trouble over there than over here. It was stricter in some ways - visits were behind glass, orange jumpsuit - toughest thing for me was no smoking allowed in jail over there.


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## EpicSquats (Mar 29, 2014)

My ex-next door neighbour had been in a few jails and he said the higher security prisons were safer because there'd be screws all over the place. In the lower security there'd be no one there if you got battered or whatever.


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## hometrainer (Apr 9, 2003)

Spent 14 days in military prison back in the day. which consisted of a drill and PT session each day and doing kit musters and other mindless tasks


----------



## JOEC936 (Jan 6, 2015)

Yes 4 years in a Colorado state penitentiary..


----------



## Electro (Apr 7, 2015)

Never, and I hope not to


----------



## SickCurrent (Sep 19, 2005)

Spent 6 months in a hardcore drug rehab center. Lots or guys came in transferred from prison said it was a much tougher regime than the nick and it was...

Also spent many hours in jail cells, stripped searched etc. [this was all during my years of drug fuelled debauchary when younger]

I still respect the police 99% of which are reasonable ppl and who saved my ass on many occasions by cutting me breaks but I never ratted on anyone and the coppers respect you more for that really ime.


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## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

SickCurrent said:


> I still respect the police 99% of which are reasonable ppl and who saved my ass on many occasions by cutting me breaks but I never ratted on anyone and the coppers respect you more for that really ime.


it's the other way round up here mate

99% of police are cvnts

1% are decent

fair play you didn't open your mouth,there's not much of that about these days

cheers shaun


----------

