# Leaving BJJ



## Kunoichi (Sep 30, 2007)

This post is quite emotional so apologies if it sounds a tad... ghey.

As many of you know, I did ninjutsu for some time but it never made me feel complete. It didn't give me the conditioning I was expecting and I just didn't feel complete in my head - almost like when you're hungry and you kill it with crackers (you're not hungry anymore but you're not satisfied because you wanted a nice steak instead). It was not the sport for me.

As I have documentated on this forum, I recently started doing BJJ, and it has taken me over the moon ever since. I feel like I actually found something I feel I belong to. It gives me pleasure doing, and it gives the conditioning that ninjutsu never did, so much that I was considering cancelling my gym membership as BJJ seemed to offer me everything that I both needed and was looking for. Well, basically it was fulfilling.

Since I was 18 (I'm 24 now) I've been feeling a growing discomfort on my back, but I always thought that it was because that's around the time I left my parents' home to study away and the matresses at the new places were never the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Even before I started BJJ I knew it was going to be quite demanding to my back but I tried it once, and I loved it, and I hoped my back pain had only to do with weak muscles in urgent need of work out.

Three weeks ago I went home and I talked about this with my mom, and she reminded me that when I was younger I had one leg slightly shorter than the other, and that maybe that factor had something to do with the back problem. I went to my doctor at home and he requested some x-rays (my London doctor never requested anything).

I had to return to London, so my mum went to the doctor to get the results for me.

Tomorrow (actually, it's today already as its past midnight) I planned going back to the dojo, three weeks after I last trained and I commented that with my sister, who is still back home. Immediately she started saying nothing but "ermmm... um...." fillers and she said she didn't want to be the one giving me the bad news, but that when my mum went to the doctor he told her that my back is screwed already but if I keep doing BJJ I may get very ****ed up. And that's something that scares me. The spine is not something you should mess with; it is not like an arm you break but a couple of months in and you're back on the mat.

Apparently the doctor told my mum that I shouldn't stand up for too long. That I already knew, and that is exactely why I went to the doctor (usually 15 minutes standing up, specially if I'm still, is sheer torture). So I can't stand up (as a full time student, part-time jobs I may get all require me to stand for several hours) and I can't do sport either (any sport). What CAN I do??

I found such a relief in BJJ (both in the people and as stress reliever, as well as body conditioning) and now I'm told it is possibly the worst sport I could have gotten myself into.

I really put myself int it (no white belt with 10 sessions makes a medium-level blue belt tap. I commited myself to the sport so much I actually achieved it in 3 weeks. Twice.) so it's safe to say I need this in more than one level.

I'm feeling silly at home all by my lonesome feeling sorry for myself, but of everything I could have been taken from me, not being able to do my share of sport is one of the worst.

I know I'm a newbie in BJJ (as someone who trains[/] BJJ at least) but it really did put me together (my head was all messed up after a break up early in the summer), and right now having that taken away from me is quite painful. I mentioned this to other people already but I don't think anyone who doesn't do a martial art and feels complete when they do it can possibly understand what I mean by feeling complete and needing it in their life. Even if you're a newbie like myself.

Point is: no more standing for too long (that means gigs too. But I never liked live music anyhow) and no sport (of any kinda it seem. I'm gonna confirm this last part tomorrow but things aren't looking good).

On the middle of all this mess not everything is bad: my sister managed to convince my parents to keep Missy. She's not going to my mum's colleague.

It's a bitter-sweet evening this one =/


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## SanshouMatt (Jul 1, 2008)

Really sorry to hear this, you never know though, have a word with a few doctors about it and make sure you get all the opinions possible. When I was a kid I had Ostemeylitis in my left hip and was advised not to do any sport at all in my teens which ruined what I had started in training TMA as a kid but after things becoming more and more painful I decided to go back to sport and took up boxing, I actually found out that sport (within my own limitations) really helped pain and mobility, after going to private consultants they said they would tend to agree that mobility can be the key for a lot of bone conditions, I've never looked back from there. Bottom line is that iff BJJ (or whatever) didn't hurt but immobility does then you should look intot he reasons why with a specialist. Unfortunately the knock on injuries you can get from an initial problem pose a far greater risk as I know from screwing my knee up (which probably came from not moving at the hip enough and overcompensating with my knee!).

Hope it all works out and you know you're always part of the crew on here!


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## marc (Jul 16, 2007)

Dont get too down kunoichi there are ways around everything, find out for me exactly what you've got, or whats causing the pain and i'll see if i can find something to help, Doctors are great but they dont always know fact, my uncle was told after loads of Xrays and operations he would live no longer than 2 years, and would be better to basically let him die when he was born, also said he would never walk or lead a normal life, he's 41 now and whilst he has mild learning difficulties he walks everwhere and lives on his own looking after himself, so Doctors are not always right


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## Cha$e (Dec 11, 2007)

Yeah sorry to hear this. As everyone has said so for don't get too disheartened. Wait until the problem is pinpointed and then try to find away around it so you can still enjoy the things you love doing rather than letting it stop you entirely. Keep us updated and good luck!!


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## Si-K (Jul 23, 2007)

Hi K - bad news (sorry for ya) but like everyone said dont take it all to heart I've been in martial arts for 25 years and was told the day I was born that I'd never be a boxer/sports person etc...as suggested get more than one point of view and their is always something you can try as an alternative (trust me) best wishes Si.x


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## Kunoichi (Sep 30, 2007)

Thanks for the best wishes.

Just got off the phone with my mum. Apparently what I have is called Scheuermann Disease.

I have training in 1h and I'm hitting the mats. I'm not going to stop until I have an appointment with an orthopedist and take him the exams I did. Apparently it is a rather common thing, but martial arts or anything that involves running are highly disencouraged.

I'm not a runner (so I'm safe there), and today I'm going to see how much attention I can pay to my posture (we should keep posture in mind at all times in the first place, and I neglect it quite often).

My sister was the one who got me over reacting last night when she said I couldn't do sports or stand up for too long. I'm usually a calm person, I very rarely over react, and I hate it that everytime I do is because of her :] It felt like the end of the world last night. Oh! the drama... the soap! - Of course I can be standing for long periods of time (if I can handle the pain, then it won't do any worse. It'll hurt but it won't make it a living hell in a few years time).

*heavy motherloading sigh*

Not so bad


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## davy (Apr 21, 2008)

Ah matey sorry to hear about your situation. It's obvious from your posts here that you care a helluva lot about the sport so hope you / your doc can find a happy resolve. As mentioned before, it's a bit cliched but second opinions are there for a reason.


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## Imy (Jul 20, 2007)

Sorry to hear about this! 

You must find a way around it and continue practicing Martial arts.

Else you'd have to change your forum name. And that would suck.


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## spitfire (Apr 19, 2008)

Hi Kunoichi. Finally getting 5 min. Well i hope your ok for starters. Things are not usually, as bad as they at first seem once one has got ones head round. If ya know what i mean like.

Try not to give up. Keep on keeping on, as long as you are enjoying your self and are confident that your back can take it. I think if you stop now you will just think aboutwhat your missing too much. . Just let it all sink in first.

In my experiance when a Dr tells you that you cant do something , then that something is exactly what you should be doing.Im not just being brave at your cost. As many others do, i also have lifes experiances.

I was splattered when i was a nipper by a car. I flew through the air with the greatest unease.As a result i have one leg slightly shorter than the other.As i got to my teens I started having terrible back pain. It turns out i have a twisted spine ( as well as mind) I wasnt supposed to do all kinds of things. Nothing would deal with problem. I eventually met an asian guy that did some miracle work in the massage department when i was in my earlt 30s.

I couldnt walk the next day. But since then its been fairly pain free. My Drs still tell not do various things.

The dude thang about my leg being short, is that when i was younger , every one thought i was walking around with an attitude because i walked with a swagger. It looks kind of like Liam Gallagher's walk. Every one wanted to fight me . Cheers.

Have faith in your self, be strong and keep on training .

ps . i forgot to say, ive completely mashed up my ac shoulder joint as a result of muay thai and have been told i have to have an op and im not do any more fighting. .. well cobblers to that.i aint got many yrs left in me , im fighting.


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## Ibanez (Jul 9, 2008)

Hey Kunoichi. I'm joining the club, I also recently found out that I have one leg shorter than the other! It is apparently what has been giving me hip pain for years, who knew! I found out when I went to see a Kinesiologist before starting my mma training. I'm supposed to wear lifts on one shoe but to be honest I keep forgetting to buy some! 

I second Marcs sentiment, doctors like to say no. Go and see a Kinesiologist ( the one I see has helped me with a variety of problems, good guy), in my experience they treat the cause of what's wrong with you in much healthier ways than doctors usually do (some doctors are better than others obvously, I'm just a bit suspicious when multi national drug companies dictate how to treat people).

We're all behind you here an I hope you can work out a way to keep doing the BJJ. Stay strong.


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## Kunoichi (Sep 30, 2007)

The shorter leg you can sort out quite easily with the little bump (insole,w whatever) what'll level the feet. I used to have a very minimal difference when I was a kid, so I suppose it won't make major difference during training as long as you wear it during the rest of the time.

3mm is not much (what I had), I think it's only more problematic when its over 1cm. Hope that's not your case, but just get the goddamn things - if you can prevent the pain without compromising your training, that's doable! Also, because along the line it might become worse if you keep neglecting your body's need for the extra height.

Doctors will say no because they have to be scientific about things - and chances are that these kind of sports will have great impact on your body. They don't know the future and they have to go by the safest option - if they don't they may be vulnerable to lawsuits for neglect, while 'alternative' opinions won't, as doctors are the only(?) recognised opinions before the law.

Or something like that, I'm just speculating.

@ spitfire thanks for sharing! I'm definitely not quitting just now but I'm very afraid in a few years doing all these violent sports will start to show (I don't want to be a criple and I don't want to aggravate pain). It's not the 'now' ('now' my back can handle it and much more), it's the future that I know nothing about that scares me. I like to think long term.

As for Imy, well I haven't been a kunoichi in several years anyway :happy:


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## spitfire (Apr 19, 2008)

@ spitfire thanks for sharing! I'm definitely not quitting just now but I'm very afraid in a few years doing all these violent sports will start to show (I don't want to be a criple and I don't want to aggravate pain). It's not the 'now' ('now' my back can handle it and much more), it's the future that I know nothing about that scares me. I like to think long term.

Well.. as long as you is happy like. I wish you positive vibes any how.


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## Nighteyes (Sep 16, 2008)

To be honest I don't really know what to say Kunoichi. But I know exactly why you don't want to give BJJ up.

Doctors never ever ever ever recommend doing martial arts, martial arts are just stupid. Lets put it this way my ju-jitsu instructor always said you dont get to black belt without injuring yourself... so true. but see that is exactly why they wont recommend doing them.

I broke my back 3 years ago almost ended up paralyzed (almost meaning was told "youll never walk again." but I still am... few) and at the time ju-jitsu was my life. Finally stopped sulking and am looking at doing a martial art again. But i know i can never do anything which involves having my head going towards the ground... not even watch it on tv.

In the end you only ever live once so do what you really want to do even if its not the most sensible thing, but do look after yourself there are always other sports or less erm dangerous martial arts. You just got to throw yourself into what ever cheap substitute you can find 

I really hope it goes well for you and you find something else or away to continue bjj.

Craig


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