# Your Partner making themselves look presentable



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Right my missus, goes out into town with her work mates and rolls in at 6 am or some sh!t. (I don't go clubbing, I have no friends that do, sob sob) anyway whenever I taker her out to a s****y restaurant £100 plus, easy, she wears jeans a top and makeup. When she goes into town she wears nice dresses, gets fake tanned wears earings and wears healed shoes. Would this pi55 you off, I've spoken to her about it on a few occasions and she doesn't change. Perhaps I'm being insecure but to me it just reads she doesn't care what I think but wants to look fit for other men when I'm not there? Your thoughts I await the plethora of she's getting bummed by leroy


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

She finds you boring but secure and wants sexual attention from males when out alone.


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## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

Rolls in at 6? You need to sort her out mate.


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

mal said:


> Rolls in at 6? You need to sort her out mate.


The clinic would be my first stop...


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

She's too comfortable. Cheat on her!


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## Guest (Sep 8, 2013)

6am!? shed be coming through door to a tight headlock


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## Hartman (May 11, 2011)

Do you dress smart when you take her out?


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## dirtymusket1 (May 24, 2008)

PHMG said:


> She finds you boring but secure and wants sexual attention from males when out alone.


AND!!!!!!!!!

She's getting bummed by big leroy :lol:

 :innocent:


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

2 suggestions. First why don't you go out clubbing with her sometime. Secondly when she's going out with other women the competition thing comes into it. When she's out with you, she knows she already has you and can be comfortable and so is relaxed.

OR......the next time you take her out, get ready in full drag, and see if you can embarrass her into making an effort.


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Hartman said:


> Do you dress smart when you take her out?


Yeah course


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> 2 suggestions. First why don't you go out clubbing with her sometime. Secondly when she's going out with other women the competition thing comes into it. When she's out with you, she knows she already has you and can be comfortable and so is relaxed.
> 
> OR......the next time you take her out, get ready in full drag, and see if you can embarrass her into making an effort.


Because we are both 32 I don't want to be out until 6am, 1am maybe but 5-6 am fcuk that. I know she's in a club as I see the receipts with the times on them so I know she's not round some geezers house


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

shotgun said:


> 6am!? shed be coming through door to a tight headlock


I've had words but she's her own woman and doesn't give a fcuk she'll do what she wants to do


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

SwAn1 said:


> Because we are both 32 I don't want to be out until 6am, 1am maybe but 5-6 am fcuk that. I know she's in a club as I see the receipts with the times on them so I know she's not round some geezers house


I'm 33 and I go out clubbing till the next morning. But if you really don't wanna go out that late then don't go out that late. You can still have fun going home at 1am.


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## dannydean07 (Jun 14, 2012)

She just feels comfortable dressing like that with you mate, its not a bad thing, i can see why it would annoy you though.


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## mat81 (Jul 13, 2013)

My Missus is always in casual clothes not matter where I take her

But if she goes out with mates its different, she said no one wants to be out done so goes the extra mile.

But she wouldn't stay out till 6 though and neither would i


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> I'm 33 and I go out clubbing till the next morning. But if you really don't wanna go out that late then don't go out that late. You can still have fun going home at 1am.


I suppose I would go out that late but all my male mates have kids and are under the thumb from their missus and have to be in by 11. She always goes out on just either girly nights or 'work only' nights. I might go out clubbing alone, tell her a fake male name sit in a club till 6am then roll in and see how she likes the boot on the other foot. Any takers?


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> Because we are both 32 I don't want to be out until 6am, 1am maybe but 5-6 am fcuk that. I know she's in a club as I see the receipts with the times on them so I know she's not round some geezers house


32 and you want to be in by 1. And it seems you're idea of a good night out is an expensive restaurant. Sound more like my 70 year old parents.

Absolutely seriously, you sound boring as fuk. My wife's 33 and we're out until 3-4 or later at least 3 or 4 times a month.


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## funkdocta (May 29, 2013)

Knock her up... no more clubbing for her then.


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

dannydean07 said:


> She just feels comfortable dressing like that with you mate, its not a bad thing, i can see why it would annoy you though.


Thanks perhaps I always see negative things to me, it just reads I don't fancy you don't care, so wont bother lol


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## tamara (Sep 23, 2012)

Getting dressed up to go out with the girls is just so she looks as good as or better than the rest of them.


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Kimball said:


> 32 and you want to be in by 1. And it seems you're idea of a good night out is an expensive restaurant. Sound mote like my 70 year old parents.
> 
> Absolutely seriously, you sound boring as fuk. My wife's 33 and we're out until 3-4 or later at least 3 or 4 times a month.


Mate Ive just been on a 48 hour bender on mdma, I have no friends that are aloud out late what do you want me to do?


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## monkeybiker (Jul 21, 2010)

Hartman said:


> Do you dress smart when you take her out?


Wears his best string vest and joggers.


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

Really?

Go out with your girl? Seems a bit obvious really

And get some new mates!


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

funkdocta said:


> Knock her up... no more clubbing for her then.


She smokes and is a coke addict as am I, so don't think that's a good idea lol


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

PHMG said:


> She finds you boring but secure and wants sexual attention from males when out alone.


Pretty much this. Women dont dress like that for the appreciation of other women (unless shes a lesbian) shes looking for that male eye.

id install one of these in her handbag for damn sure

http://www.spyequipmentuk.co.uk/listening-and-recording/voice-recorders/key-fob-recorder-voice-activated-item.html


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Kimball said:


> Really?
> 
> Go out with your girl? Seems a bit obvious really


I just said above. She goes out on girly nights, or work nights either of which I'm not invited too. She would not want to go out on the lash with just me lol


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## dannydean07 (Jun 14, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> Thanks perhaps I always see negative things to me, it just reads I don't fancy you don't care, so wont bother lol


I feel the same mate sometimes, i can see what you mean how it annoys you, try talking to her in a different way, or you go out in work clothes when she wants to go for something nice to eat :thumbup1:


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> I jShe would not want to go out on the lash with just me lol


Well if that's the case I reckon your relationship has bigger issues than how she dresses on night out. I'd be moving on pretty quickly.


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

dannydean07 said:


> I feel the same mate sometimes, i can see what you mean how it annoys you, try talking to her in a different way, or you go out in work clothes when she wants to go for something nice to eat :thumbup1:


She wouldn't care. I cut all my hair off, shave my entire beard off, buy a new shirt she doesn't even notice lol


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Kimball said:


> Well if that's the case I reckon your relationship has bigger issues than how she dresses on night out. I'd be moving on pretty quickly.


We used to, but we've been together 13 years mate


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## k8tjane (Mar 27, 2013)

SwAn1 said:


> I've had words but she's her own woman and doesn't give a fcuk she'll do what she wants to do


I doubt that she hasn't considered what you have said but when push comes to shove what is the issue of her stopping out till the early hours? If you trust her not to be getting up to anything she shouldn't be then just take it for what it is..she likes to go out and party till 6am and you don't.

My husband used to get really upset with me for staying out late with friends and it caused some real arguments but in the end he has come to accept that its just what I like to do, its the norm for my friends to party until the morning and when I'm out with them I want to be able to join in without clock watching and worrying about when I 'need' to get home.

As far as the dressing up thing...I agree with Gym Bunny on this one. Women tend to dress to impress/compete with other women. Maybe you could encourage her to dress up when you go out by telling her how sexy she looks in "insert preference".


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## dannydean07 (Jun 14, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> She wouldn't care. I cut all my hair off, shave my entire beard off, buy a new shirt she doesn't even notice lol


 how long you been with her? you dont sound too giddy about her mate


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## husky (Jan 31, 2010)

SwAn1 said:


> I've had words but she's her own woman and doesn't give a fcuk she'll do what she wants to do


Says it all mate- shows a lack of respect for your relationship-i'd kick her to the kerb


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## Guest (Sep 8, 2013)

Maybe time to trade her in? It sounds like you both arnt bothered tbh


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## funkdocta (May 29, 2013)

SwAn1 said:


> She smokes and is a coke addict as am I, so don't think that's a good idea lol


Get her ass to rehab and then knock her up then


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## dannydean07 (Jun 14, 2012)

husky said:


> Says it all mate- shows a lack of respect for your relationship-i'd kick her to the kerb


The fact that she doesn't seem to have taken on board what you've said, or even acknowledge your thoughts/feelings on the situation does show disrespect to you/your relation ship tbh i agree with @husky


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> She wouldn't care. I cut all my hair off, shave my entire beard off, buy a new shirt she doesn't even notice lol


Id certainly be looking at trading her in. I was reading some studies the other day about women and their cycles of infidelety. They reckon that after 4 years a woman gets 'confertable', starts going off sex and losing interest. They feel guilty and resent their man for their guilt. They then use this resentment to justify looking at other men. Then they have some kind of envolvement with the next man wether it be sexual one offs, affair, or even just a lust fuelled platonic relationship. They then iether leave the partner or stay with them, probably depending on financial status and stability.

And before all the women start negging, this is not my oppinion, this is based on your behaviours (which you admitted to in the study).


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

My mrs is a fcuking slob at times .

When we do go out into town or club she nakes an effort and I dont expect her to get dressed up for the supermarket but she could nake an effort for the bedroom .

I think women get secure and love guys no matter what and think we are the same when actually its the little things that cause cracks .

Communication is key or a good divorce lawyer .


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

shotgun said:


> 6am!? shed be coming through door to a tight headlock


Careful...some women love this!


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

@IGotTekkers, Pls reference and link study so I can read, otherwise does just come across as your opinion, which I wouldn't neg you for regardless as people have to be very naughty before I do that. :lol:


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> @IGotTekkers, Pls reference and link study so I can read, otherwise does just come across as your opinion, which I wouldn't neg you for regardless as people have to be very naughty before I do that. :lol:


You want me to scroll through a weeks worth of internet history? Do you realise how much porn i watch? Lol


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

IGotTekkers said:


> You want me to scroll through a weeks worth of internet history? Do you realise how much porn i watch? Lol


Yes, that's exactly what I want you to do! Surely you know how demanding women are.....I'm guessing a lot of porn? :thumb:


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

IGotTekkers said:


> Id certainly be looking at trading her in. I was reading some studies the other day about women and their cycles of infidelety. They reckon that after 4 years a woman gets 'confertable', starts going off sex and losing interest. They feel guilty and resent their man for their guilt. They then use this resentment to justify looking at other men. Then they have some kind of envolvement with the next man wether it be sexual one offs, affair, or even just a lust fuelled platonic relationship. They then iether leave the partner or stay with them, probably depending on financial status and stability.
> 
> And before all the women start negging, this is not my oppinion, this is based on your behaviours (which you admitted to in the study).


Surely women never go off sex..what is this world coming to. :nono:


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## Ackee&amp;Saltfish (Mar 18, 2011)

I can confirm going clubbing with the mrs aint the same or as fun as going with the mandem, unless you like cuddles and relationship chat over the loud music


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## Radioactive Man (Mar 7, 2013)

my burd at the time was doing the same, 6 am, never replied to a single text. I go out, I got nagged at about my dodgy friends, got a text every 10 minutes. abuse when back home when I switched my phone off. And close enough to a waterboarding interrogation when I got home at 3am. I never cheated on her but by Christ I wish I had now.

Get out your best suit, look the part as if mr Bond would be fapping at the thought of you and do something for yourself. maybe the jeallousy will get her **** in gear


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

Shhh quiet people I think I can hear a guy under the whip!


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## geeby112 (Mar 15, 2008)

If you have no mates just pretend your going out but go stay at a friends house and stroll in late. Make a huge effort in looking the part. Will soon get her thinking that your making this much effort and time to step her game up.

I'm sorry but I'd never let her out till 6am knowing she makes a huge effort getting dolled up, why would girls compete with each other and what is the prize for the competition, men?


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

If your not happy about it and not prepared to accept it you leave and find someone who is right for you.

Life is too short for trivia in relationships, your either right for each other or your not.


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

Email the hodge twins so they can make a video with advice on your situation :lol:


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## Dark sim (May 18, 2013)

Are there more issues in the relationship other than this?

We all like to look good. Me for example will not shave for couple days, come fri night for doorwork I'll shave, throw some gel in the hair, even some aftershave. I get little remarks from the gf, as don't do these things for her, or at least not anymore. I guess the psychology behind this is, I have her now, so no longer need to make much of an effort for her. Not saying its right but ya know........

Relationships get stale, so some change is in order, or it will die.


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

Dark sim said:


> Are there more issues in the relationship other than this?
> 
> We all like to look good. Me for example will not shave for couple days, come fri night for doorwork I'll shave, throw some gel in the hair, even some aftershave. I get little remarks from the gf, as don't do these things for her, or at least not anymore. I guess the psychology behind this is, I have her now, so no longer need to make much of an effort for her. Not saying its right but ya know........
> 
> Relationships get stale, so some change is in order, or it will die.


And are you faithful tho?


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## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

have you ever slapped her about?


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## Dark sim (May 18, 2013)

MutantX said:


> And are you faithful tho?


My current relationship I would say not, we've had some issues. Prior to that was a 4 year relationship, where I wouldnt consider taking it further with a girl etc, but still made the effort to look good. I work the front door, so presentation is important. My mindset has not changed.


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

Ackee&Saltfish said:


> I can confirm going clubbing with the mrs aint the same or as fun as going with the mandem, unless you like cuddles and relationship chat over the loud music


No idea what a mandem is but I still disagree


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

Milky said:


> If your not happy about it and not prepared to accept it you leave and find someone who is right for you.
> 
> Life is too short for trivia in relationships, your either right for each other or your not.


Absolutely agree.

Plus you haven't got friends who can stay out after 11 but they can do 48 hour MDMA binges? Hmmmm


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

Skye666 said:


> Surely women never go off sex..what is this world coming to. :nono:


No no.. you go off sex with your partner!


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## constantbulk (Dec 27, 2010)

6 am is a **** take imo

my missus goes out but just knows not to come in at that time


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## rectus (Jan 18, 2012)

Go for the long con. Start to slowly "let yourself go", make less of an effort week by week like most partners do in a relationship. If you pace it right then she won't detect it. Then all of a sudden start to dress well, groom yourself and apply aftershave so you look like you're getting ready for a wedding full of naughty bridesmaids. She will start to suspect you are cheating on her, like you suspect she is cheating on you. Then you say "HA! Now you know how it feels!". The months of careful work will finally pay off and you will ride into the sunset on your Claude Butler.

I was listening to this in the dark while I devised this plan:


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Love all the "I wouldn't let her out til 6am" comments.

The day someone tells me what I can and can't do is the day it's over.


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

If she wants to be out until 6am she has no real interest in the relationship.

She's going balls deep from 3am


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## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

not sure why people are kicking off about his missus being out till 6am. if he knows in advance this is the case what is the problem? unless they are both 12 years old. then I would say 8pm is more appropriate


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## Dezw (May 13, 2009)

Me and the wife both mostly wear casual clothes, when out together or separately.


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Well I normally roll in at half 7 the next morning   if at all....

However on said that I always make a effort and many of time he's gone and got re changed as "I'm not going out looking like this if you're going to the shop looking like that" comment follows shortly after!!

Agree with gym bunny tho she's probably comfortable enough with you and feels she doesn't have to be glammed up 24/7 as she knows you're already hers!

This is where the female logic come in and a lot of us dress to impress other woman not other men


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

k8tjane said:


> I doubt that she hasn't considered what you have said but when push comes to shove what is the issue of her stopping out till the early hours? If you trust her not to be getting up to anything she shouldn't be then just take it for what it is..she likes to go out and party till 6am and you don't.
> 
> My husband used to get really upset with me for staying out late with friends and it caused some real arguments but in the end he has come to accept that its just what I like to do, its the norm for my friends to party until the morning and when I'm out with them I want to be able to join in without clock watching and worrying about when I 'need' to get home.
> 
> As far as the dressing up thing...I agree with Gym Bunny on this one. Women tend to dress to impress/compete with other women. Maybe you could encourage her to dress up when you go out by telling her how sexy she looks in "insert preference".


My issue is, she is out of my league looks wise, looks gorgous gets too pi55ed to know what she's doing and there are loads of creepy men out there and c.unts trying it on with her when she's vulnerable I guess


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

mrssalvatore said:


> Well I normally roll in at half 7 the next morning   if at all....
> 
> However on said that I always make a effort and many of time he's gone and got re changed as "I'm not going out looking like this if you're going to the shop looking like that" comment follows shortly after!!
> 
> ...


Yes but your partner has trackin devices on you so it dont matter 

The comfortable thing dont wash with me tho.

The same **** you did to get your man is the same **** you should do to keep your man!

If she makes an effort when she goes out with the girls she needs to make more of an effort when she goes out with him to remind him of what he has and so he dont look at other women.


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

dannydean07 said:


> how long you been with her? you dont sound too giddy about her mate


13 years


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## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

SwAn1 said:


> My issue is, she is out of my league looks wise, looks gorgous gets too pi55ed to know what she's doing and there are loads of creepy men out there and c.unts trying it on with her when she's vulnerable I guess


sounds like paranoia mate. you partial to a bit of beak did you say?


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

IGotTekkers said:


> Id certainly be looking at trading her in. I was reading some studies the other day about women and their cycles of infidelety. They reckon that after 4 years a woman gets 'confertable', starts going off sex and losing interest. They feel guilty and resent their man for their guilt. They then use this resentment to justify looking at other men. Then they have some kind of envolvement with the next man wether it be sexual one offs, affair, or even just a lust fuelled platonic relationship. They then iether leave the partner or stay with them, probably depending on financial status and stability.
> 
> And before all the women start negging, this is not my oppinion, this is based on your behaviours (which you admitted to in the study).


Thanks man I feel so much better


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

SwAn1 said:


> My issue is, she is out of my league looks wise


Don't be such a sap bro!!


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Breda said:


> Yes but your partner has trackin devices on you so it dont matter
> 
> The comfortable thing dont wash with me tho.
> 
> ...


Lol robe fair I can see your point tho!

I suppose it makes a whole new topic about partners letting them selves go!? Maybe?

Does it matter how long you've been together?? Maybe the first ten years or so maybe less?

It's gonna get very much hard work keeping up that level of maintenance?

I couldn't do it

I still love my sweats his t shirt in the house when bumming about together

Or do you mean she has to be 10/10 ALL the time??


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

geeby112 said:


> If you have no mates just pretend your going out but go stay at a friends house and stroll in late. Make a huge effort in looking the part. Will soon get her thinking that your making this much effort and time to step her game up.
> 
> I'm sorry but I'd never let her out till 6am knowing she makes a huge effort getting dolled up, why would girls compete with each other and what is the prize for the competition, men?


So ive got to dress up like james bond and stay at the holiday inn until 6am?


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> My issue is, she is out of my league looks wise, looks gorgous gets too pi55ed to know what she's doing and there are loads of creepy men out there and c.unts trying it on with her when she's vulnerable I guess


No such thing as out of your league. Im an ugly cnoot according to most on here but i can still bag all kinds of creatures. All kinds.


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

IGotTekkers said:


> No such thing as out of your league. Im an ugly cnoot according to most on here but i can still bag all kinds of creatures. All kinds.


^ I can vouch for said ugliness and said creatures :lol:


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

MutantX said:


> And are you faithful tho?


I was for 10 years until she never puts out ever sex twice per year and that's if I degrade myself and beg like a dog and even then she says no, so now I don't bother asking at all. whats the point. I hate cheaters, but can see how it happens, I love her, but he wont give me the time of day so that's what happens


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Ashcrapper said:


> have you ever slapped her about?


No I would never hit a woman, why would you?


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Kimball said:


> Absolutely agree.
> 
> Plus you haven't got friends who can stay out after 11 but they can do 48 hour MDMA binges? Hmmmm


No I do them on my own because Im a sad c.unt with no friends lol I just sit and play poker pilling my tits off


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## alchemystical (Jan 16, 2013)

...And he had a similar problem and didn't know what to do, so the older chap suggested he beat her with a coat hanger then draw her a bath. So, young Iceberg went along to the hotel and did just that, not knowing what to expect. He took his bottom bitch and brutally assaulted her using nothing more than an ordinary coat hanger.

As he had finished laying the smack down he walked over to the bathroom, ran the taps and made sure the water was nice and temperate. He came back and picked up the wimpering wreck of a woman from the floor and delicately placed her in the bath and washed her down.

After he lovingly draped a robe around her shoulders, gave her two pills and let her go to sleep.

Needless to say there were no problems from that day forth...


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

Troll alert

I'm out.


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Ashcrapper said:


> not sure why people are kicking off about his missus being out till 6am. if he knows in advance this is the case what is the problem? unless they are both 12 years old. then I would say 8pm is more appropriate


I just think coming in at 6am at 32 years old dressed to the nines barely being able to stand up or even talk properly, I don't mean slurring words, just nothing made any sense isn't normal behaviour for a 32 woman in a relationship without their partner their to watch over them


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

mrssalvatore said:


> Lol robe fair I can see your point tho!
> 
> I suppose it makes a whole new topic about partners letting them selves go!? Maybe?
> 
> ...


It dont have to be a 24/7 thing.

Around the yard my girl wears my joggers and Ts and thats kool wit me but when we out together regardless of what I'm wearin which will likely be joggers and a T she gotta be lookin good.

Not sayin heels n that cos I dont mind her in trainers but a bit of effort with make up and hair and garms lookin right is a must


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## alchemystical (Jan 16, 2013)

NB The words above are paraphrased from the mind of one Iceberg Slim and AnnesBollocks in no way shape or form advocates the beating of bitches that be out till 6 in the morn.


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Ashcrapper said:


> sounds like paranoia mate. you partial to a bit of beak did you say?


Paranoia, caring about someone if that means the same thing then yeah


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

SwAn1 said:


> I just think coming in at 6am at 32 years old dressed to the nines barely being able to stand up or even talk properly, I don't mean slurring words, just nothing made any sense isn't normal behaviour for a 32 woman in a relationship without their partner their to watch over them


I knew a married woman who did the same, she was stumbling home at 6am to her bloke after a night of clubbing and balls deep action with me.

Hence why I am so skeptical :lol:


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

MutantX said:


> Don't be such a sap bro!!


Easy, she's better looking than I am, she earns more money than me and she wont sleep with me 'ever' lol Surely you cant accuse me of being a sap lol


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## k8tjane (Mar 27, 2013)

SwAn1 said:


> My issue is, she is out of my league looks wise, looks gorgous gets too pi55ed to know what she's doing and there are loads of creepy men out there and c.unts trying it on with her when she's vulnerable I guess


Well thats a whole other issue or issues.

Your insecurities and her total disregard for her own safety. Only way round this is sitting her down and telling her exactly what you have told people on here, if she still has the '**** off I'll do what I want' attitude then I'm afraid the others may be right and its time to look at your relationship.....maybe there is more her attitude than meets the eye.

Hope you sort it out


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

SwAn1 said:


> Easy, she's better looking than I am, she earns more money than me and she wont sleep with me 'ever' lol Surely you cant accuse me of being a sap lol


Leave for someone uglier, poorer and who will sleep wuth you then ffs


----------



## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Breda said:


> It dont have to be a 24/7 thing.
> 
> Around the yard my girl wears my joggers and Ts and thats kool wit me but when we out together regardless of what I'm wearin which will likely be joggers and a T she gotta be lookin good.
> 
> Not sayin heels n that cos I dont mind her in trainers but a bit of effort with make up and hair and garms lookin right is a must


Ahhhhh I see


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

MutantX said:


> Troll alert
> 
> I'm out.


You think Im trolling. I'm deadly serious mate


----------



## bumont (Aug 18, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> Right my missus, goes out into town with her work mates and rolls in at 6 am or some sh!t. (I don't go clubbing, I have no friends that do, sob sob) anyway whenever I taker her out to a s****y restaurant £100 plus, easy, she wears jeans a top and makeup. When she goes into town she wears nice dresses, gets fake tanned wears earings and wears healed shoes. Would this pi55 you off, I've spoken to her about it on a few occasions and she doesn't change. Perhaps I'm being insecure but to me it just reads she doesn't care what I think but wants to look fit for other men when I'm not there? Your thoughts I await the plethora of she's getting bummed by leroy


Maybe you need to focus on your personal development, learn new things, strive to be successful, improve physical aesthetics etc. Once you get comfortable that's when women get bored and look for a more suitable male (whore instinct). If your woman knows you could leave her in a heart beat if things ****ed up and easily find another partner without any effort.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, don't do the above for your girl, do it for yourself. If she cheats, you're already in full steam with your life and won't be left in the dust.

tl;dr majority of women are sluts, be an alpha male.


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Breda said:


> Leave for someone uglier, poorer and who will sleep wuth you then ffs


PMSL


----------



## rob w (Aug 27, 2012)

In all seriousness mate, it sounds like you're not happy in this relationship. Whilst it may sound like a huge step to end something that has been your life for 13 years, finding someone who GENUINELY appreciates you and wants to be with you is worth the initial heartache in the end. I don't think playing games at this stage is going to help matters. I've been through a similar relationship of 10 years and came out the other end to find someone who wants to be with me and share life together.


----------



## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

SwAn1 said:


> I just think coming in at 6am at 32 years old dressed to the nines barely being able to stand up or even talk properly, I don't mean slurring words, just nothing made any sense isn't normal behaviour for a 32 woman in a relationship without their partner their to watch over them


Wow. Just wow. Controlling much?

From everything I'Ve read in this thread.

You been together 13 years.

You have sex maybe 2x a year.

You both have coke habits. Also seem to remember you saying on another thread that she is the main instigator?

Her idea of fun to go out clubbing.

Yours is to go out for dinner or do MDMA on your own.

You have crippling insecurity that she is out of your league.

So you have 2 choices.




Find something the 2 of you enjoy to do together.

Split up.


Personally I think you should go for option 2, because you're obviously not happy and the more you try and control her the less good it is for you both.


----------



## alchemystical (Jan 16, 2013)

Gym Bunny said:


> Wow. Just wow. Controlling much?
> 
> From everything I'Ve read in this thread.
> 
> ...


Allow me to suggest heroin. The happiest couple I know are a pair of smackheads and they've been through thick and thin together.


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> Wow. Just wow. Controlling much?
> 
> From everything I'Ve read in this thread.
> 
> ...


There's a lot of merit in what you say, but I'm not controlling in the slightest she can go out when she wants she doesn't have to ask can I go out clubbing or to the pub I let her do as she pleases, just 6am I think is unreasonable for a pretty woman to be out **** faced


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

rob w said:


> In all seriousness mate, it sounds like you're not happy in this relationship. Whilst it may sound like a huge step to end something that has been your life for 13 years, finding someone who GENUINELY appreciates you and wants to be with you is worth the initial heartache in the end. I don't think playing games at this stage is going to help matters. I've been through a similar relationship of 10 years and came out the other end to find someone who wants to be with me and share life together.


I cant be assed to play the whole dating game at 32 ffs that's the problem I think she thinks the same so just stick with what you know and avoid each other all day


----------



## Paz1982 (Dec 16, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> I was for 10 years until she never puts out ever sex twice per year and that's if I degrade myself and beg like a dog and even then she says no, so now I don't bother asking at all. whats the point. I hate cheaters, but can see how it happens, I love her, but he wont give me the time of day so that's what happens


The hardest part is walking away from a long term relationship, I did it with my ex after years of it being over. It's easy to get caught up in thinking there is nobody else out there for you but there is. It was the best thing I ever did leaving my stale relationship because now I'm married to the girl my ex could never be, the woman I want


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> Wow. Just wow. Controlling much?
> 
> You have crippling insecurity that she is out of your league.
> 
> ...


----------



## Dark sim (May 18, 2013)

SwAn1 said:


> There's a lot of merit in what you say, but I'm not controlling in the slightest she can go out when she wants she doesn't have to ask can I go out clubbing or to the pub I let her do as she pleases, just 6am I think is unreasonable for a pretty woman to be out **** faced


I think the time is irrelevant, 3am, 6am.....what's the difference? How often is she going out?

There are other issues besides this by sounds of it, which need addressing. Stop wasting your time, do something about it or prepare to move on.


----------



## Dark sim (May 18, 2013)

Dude, get a grip, you look well suited.


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Dark sim said:


> I think the time is irrelevant, 3am, 6am.....what's the difference? How often is she going out?
> 
> There are other issues besides this by sounds of it, which need addressing. Stop wasting your time, do something about it or prepare to move on.


I dunno I guess there's more fcuked weirdo's around at 6am than at 3am


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

You're both ugly as sin man be happy and get off the Caine


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## k8tjane (Mar 27, 2013)

Your a good looking bloke and no disrespect to your mrs but you are not out of her league looks wise. Maybe you need to work on your self esteem. It could be your own insecurities that are causing problems in your relationship....it can be a real turn off.


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

FTR mate my marriage would last about a week if my mrs acted like this.

I am not controlling nor insecure, l have my expectations in a relationship and that is not one of them.


----------



## Leigh (Jun 13, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> I cant be assed to play the whole dating game at 32 ffs that's the problem I think she thinks the same so just stick with what you know and avoid each other all day


You sound so unhappy! Your life isn't over at 32!!

Bloody hell, can you really face 60+ years avoiding each other, starved of love and affection? Do you have/want kids?

Don't you think you both deserve better than what you have?


----------



## Beklet (May 13, 2005)

SwAn1 said:


> There's a lot of merit in what you say, but I'm not controlling in the slightest she can go out when she wants she doesn't have to ask can I go out clubbing or to the pub I let her do as she pleases, just 6am I think is unreasonable for a pretty woman to be out **** faced


What about an ugly or plain one?


----------



## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

Breda said:


> You're both ugly as sin man be happy and get off the Caine


What you on about id play slip n slide with her :lol:


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Milky said:


> FTR mate my marriage would last about a week if my mrs acted like this.
> 
> I am not controlling nor insecure, l have my expectations in a relationship and that is not one of them.


Couldn't agree more


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

SwAn1 said:


> I cant be assed to play the whole dating game at 32 ffs that's the problem I think she thinks the same so just stick with what you know and avoid each other all day


I was single from 30 to 35 mate, had the time of my life !


----------



## husky (Jan 31, 2010)

mate if shes a good looking lass and your only getting yer hole 2 x a year she's getting it elsewhere-take control of your life and move on ffs-no one deserves to be treated like a doormat. If she aint gonna respect you respect yourself atleast.


----------



## Leigh (Jun 13, 2012)

For myself, I'm older than you but when in a relationship I dress casually when out with mates because I want to be comfortable and not stared/leered at.

I'll dress up to go out with my partner but still dress decently (what's underneath/or not, is a different story)

Looking at your pic, yes she's pretty but you're attractive too. Find someone who loves and wants you.


----------



## Beklet (May 13, 2005)

This out of league thing..it's all bollocks. My mate has a bloke who looks like a rock star. Everyone tells her she is punching well above her weight...whether she is or not, they're happy, it works FFS I'm a hound atm and my bloke is fine with that (I look like Waynetta Slob covered in plaster atm  )

And really, if you're not happy, get rid. I split up with an ex of 9 years when I was 33...it was scary but he's now happily married and I got a toyboy who has managed to put up with me fr 5 years or so :lol:


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Milky said:


> I was single from 30 to 35 mate, had the time of my life !


Again I couldn't agree more

The best time of my life has been when single. If it wasnt for the want of having someone to cook and clean for me I'd stay single its brilliant


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Leigh L said:


> You sound so unhappy! Your life isn't over at 32!!
> 
> Bloody hell, can you really face 60+ years avoiding each other, starved of love and affection? Do you have/want kids?
> 
> Don't you think you both deserve better than what you have?


No I wish I wanted kids, but I'm wired differently to everyone else, I don't want them I don't like them and find them fcuking annoying. Which upsets me as I want to want kids if you know what I mean, but I'd rather have aids than have kids


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

IGotTekkers said:


> What you on about id play slip n slide with her :lol:


Just tryin to make the guy feel better mate.

I wouldn't trade her for what I've got tho


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

husky said:


> mate if shes a good looking lass and your only getting yer hole 2 x a year she's getting it elsewhere-take control of your life and move on ffs-no one deserves to be treated like a doormat. If she aint gonna respect you respect yourself atleast.


I don't agree with all this " she's getting it elsewhere " crap.

I had an ex with no sex drive and she wasn't cheating.

Listen mate, its like this, if someone ELSE posted all this what would YOU tell them to do ?


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Beklet said:


> What about an ugly or plain one?


Same really they are vulnerable to but rapists have standards so they are less at risk


----------



## Leigh (Jun 13, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> No I wish I wanted kids, but I'm wired differently to everyone else, I don't want them I don't like them and find them fcuking annoying. Which upsets me as I want to want kids if you know what I mean, but I'd rather have aids than have kids


I think maybe if you had a different partner, you'd perhaps feel differently. Impossible to say for sure but it really makes a difference if you love and cherish the person you're with.

I definitely didn't want more, especially as I almost died on my last one, but if my current partner suddenly decided he really wanted one, I'd seriously consider it (hope he's not reading this:lol


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

husky said:


> mate if shes a good looking lass and your only getting yer hole 2 x a year she's getting it elsewhere-take control of your life and move on ffs-no one deserves to be treated like a doormat. If she aint gonna respect you respect yourself atleast.


I know 99% she aint getting it elsewhere she's with me 24/7 apart from when shes at work or in town which is once every 6 months. She has a sex drive of a menopausal nun.


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

SwAn1 said:


> I know 99% she aint getting it elsewhere she's with me 24/7 apart from when shes at work or in town which is once every 6 months. She has a sex drive of a menopausal nun.


That itself is enough for me to fu*k off mate.

You want to look back on your life when your old and be able to say " l have had sex 34 times in the last 30 yrs " fu*k that for a game of soldiers, NO woman is worth that.


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Breda said:


> Just tryin to make the guy feel better mate.
> 
> I wouldn't trade her for what I've got tho


You'd be too short for her anyway


----------



## Paz1982 (Dec 16, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> I know 99% she aint getting it elsewhere she's with me 24/7 apart from when shes at work or in town which is once every 6 months. She has a sex drive of a menopausal nun.


and apart from when shes out till 6 in the morning ?


----------



## Paz1982 (Dec 16, 2012)

Milky said:


> That itself is enough for me to fu*k off mate.
> 
> You want to look back on your life when your old and be able to say " l have had sex 34 times in the last 30 yrs " fu*k that for a game of soldiers, NO woman is worth that.


exactly, im ready to shag road kill after her 5 day period :lol:


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## Bora (Dec 27, 2011)

town with her mates haha, shes only going next door mate :thumb:


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Milky said:


> That itself is enough for me to fu*k off mate.
> 
> You want to look back on your life when your old and be able to say " l have had sex 34 times in the last 30 yrs " fu*k that for a game of soldiers, NO woman is worth that.


I asked her if I can fcuk other woman, she doesn't have to know when it happens meet them or anything, just turn a blind eye. She went mental and I replied so I have to stay monogamous and celibate awesome pmsl


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Paz1982 said:


> and apart from when shes out till 6 in the morning ?


Yeah its not often twice a year say, so I guess she gets laid 4 times per year then lmao


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

SwAn1 said:


> I asked her if I can fcuk other woman, she doesn't have to know when it happens meet them or anything, just turn a blind eye. She went mental and I replied so I have to stay monogamous and celibate awesome pmsl


Your a young man FFS, fu8k her off and live a little mate.

Why the fu*k you are willing to stay is totally beyond me.

Not being harsh mate but being a man who has wasted yrs in a relationship l have vowed l will never do it again BUT as my mate once said to me, you have to hit rock bottom before you can start to climb back up, you haven't hit rock bottom yet.


----------



## Leigh (Jun 13, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> Yeah its not often twice a year say, so I guess she gets laid 4 times per year then lmao


So she's getting laid twice as much as you are? :lol:


----------



## Paz1982 (Dec 16, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> Yeah its not often twice a year say, so I guess she gets laid 4 times per year then lmao


I don't think her going out twice a year is bad really, my mrs goes out with her mates dressed up like a dogs dinner every few months and often stays over at her mates house but I trust her 100% and know she wouldn't do anything so its not even an issue. its the other stuff about no sex and the drugs and that which I think is an issue that needs to be resolved


----------



## Mish (May 1, 2011)

You said you both do gear in a previous thread. Now when i used to get on it a typical night out would be pub/club, house party doing what ever then home around 6am - 7am.

Are you sure she's not just getting on round someone's house.


----------



## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

SwAn1 said:


> I know 99% she aint getting it elsewhere she's with me 24/7 apart from when shes at work or in town which is once every 6 months. She has a sex drive of a menopausal nun.


So now you're saying she goes out 2x a year? And you're bitching it's an all night thing. 

Dude I am totally out of sympathy for you now. Man the **** up!

If her sex drive is that low then there's a problem. Instead of whining and having the fecking cheek to ask if you can sleep with other women how about you get her to go to the doctor and get herself checked out.

There no way in hell I would stay in a relationship where there was no sex.

Also, she's with you 24/7 except when she's out with her mates? That's a little codependent and somewhat unhealthy. Go and get a hobby or something because this is all kinds of messed up.

You're only 32, act like and do things.

I'm now out of this thread because it's just annoying me so much.


----------



## Beklet (May 13, 2005)

SwAn1 said:


> No I wish I wanted kids, but I'm wired differently to everyone else, I don't want them I don't like them and find them fcuking annoying. Which upsets me as I want to want kids if you know what I mean, but I'd rather have aids than have kids


That makes no sense. Why do you wish you wanted kids? I don't know what you mean.....I don't want or like them and I certainly don't wish I did....that's an odd statement



SwAn1 said:


> Same really they are vulnerable to but rapists have standards so they are less at risk


Oh dear..you actually typed that.... mg:



Leigh L said:


> *I think maybe if you had a different partner, you'd perhaps feel differently.* Impossible to say for sure but it really makes a difference if you love and cherish the person you're with.
> 
> I definitely didn't want more, especially as I almost died on my last one, but if my current partner suddenly decided he really wanted one, I'd seriously consider it (hope he's not reading this:lol


Sorry, no. If I didn't know you better, and know you didn't mean anything by it I'd say that was incredibly patronising. Like all the people who told my ex I'd change my mind when I got older....

Some people just are not wired that way. At all. I have never had a relationship that made me maternal...


----------



## auralex87 (Jul 9, 2011)

start jelqing/stretching your cawk mate don't tell her your doing it when u get some growth on it whip it out on her and tell her its got bigger,that will wet her panties !


----------



## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

Mate, I've read your other posts about the drugs etc.

To be direct, you need to sort yourself out. Just sit back & write down what you do drug wise & what's not good about your relationship.

This is really not going well. But you can, I'm sure get back on track...however there is no quick fix.


----------



## Leigh (Jun 13, 2012)

Beklet said:


> Sorry, no. If I didn't know you better, and know you didn't mean anything by it I'd say that was incredibly patronising. Like all the people who told my ex I'd change my mind when I got older....
> 
> Some people just are not wired that way. At all. I have never had a relationship that made me maternal...


No, I wasn't meaning to be patronising - But saying he wants to want them? There's some mixed up feelings in there.

I know several people who hated the idea of kids for years ... changed partners and it suddenly seemed right so I'm suggesting finding the right partner might change his view later.

I also know a couple of women in their 20s who were sterilised because they were so adamant they never wanted children.

Kids aren't for everyone, it's true and I wouldn't ever say to someone they'd change their mind later


----------



## bumont (Aug 18, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> I know 99% she aint getting it elsewhere she's with me 24/7 apart from when shes at work or in town which is once every 6 months. She has a sex drive of a menopausal nun.


Is she on hormonal birth control?, estrogen or progesterone based ones can cause women to lose sex drive and act very distant. Had this problem with my gf and it's something that can easily end a relationship. Try switching to a different one or consider an IUD implant.

Has no one mentioned the fact that she could be seeing anything guy when she goes out, hence the late return home. If it isn't her BC, stress/work or other meds than it's most likely that she's getting it elsewhere.

Not trying to make you paranoid, but I have witnessed so many people cheat on their partner when drink is involved, this whole "if she is going to cheat she'll do it anywhere, not just a club" is *bull*****.

Clubs are a women's paradise, beta white knights will buy them drinks, compliment them, make them feel special and there will be good looking guys trying it on as long as the women is mildly attractive.

Confront her about the problems and don't just leave loose ends, don't be beta, tell her what the **** is up. No sex = no relationship.


----------



## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

I think its funny that the women are almost justifying her, and the men are saying ditch it. Oh how we are so very different lol


----------



## bumont (Aug 18, 2012)

IGotTekkers said:


> I think its funny that the women are almost justifying her, and the men are saying ditch it. Oh how we are so very different lol


----------



## squatthis (May 3, 2010)

So.... were there pics anywhere? Did I miss them?


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## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

IGotTekkers said:


> I think its funny that the women are almost justifying her, and the men are saying ditch it. Oh how we are so very different lol


I don't think the women are justifying, just offering their insight into possible reasons for what's going on.

Personally I'd say to the op that I think your relationship has run it's course. Nobody should put up with an unhappy relationship. You either need to take serious steps to fix it, or move on.

If you decide to try to fix it then knocking the drugs on the head and relationship counselling would be good ideas.

If you decide to move on, do it sooner rather than later. Don't waste any more time being unhappy. Life's too bloody short! I didn't see your pic but others have said you're a good looking bloke. 32 is nothing in the grand scheme of things! Go and be happy. I wish you luck whatever you decide


----------



## Leigh (Jun 13, 2012)

@IGotTekkers At no point did I appear to be justifying her behaviour!

I probably should have suggested a trip to the doctors, counselling, giving up the drugs etc but instead I suggested finding a different partner - one that loves and wants him - and not accepting the unhappy life he's fallen into.

I wasted a good number of years in a sexless relationship where I resorted to Prozac to try to cure the inevitable depression. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

SwAn1 said:


> I was for 10 years until she never puts out ever sex twice per year and that's if I degrade myself and beg like a dog and even then she says no, so now I don't bother asking at all. whats the point. I hate cheaters, but can see how it happens, I love her, but he wont give me the time of day so that's what happens


Sounds like it's turned into a friendship rather than a proper relationship to me, time to get out mate.

Once the sex is out of the equation it's just a friendship.


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Leigh L said:


> So she's getting laid twice as much as you are? :lol:


No, why go you think I own a rottie and a boxer


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> So now you're saying she goes out 2x a year? And you're bitching it's an all night thing.
> 
> Dude I am totally out of sympathy for you now. Man the **** up!
> 
> ...


Hey you. I have hobbies she doesn't. Ive asked her to see the doc to discuss her libido issues. She won't. I wasn't asking for your sympathy either


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

[email protected] said:


> I don't think the women are justifying, just offering their insight into possible reasons for what's going on.
> 
> Personally I'd say to the op that I think your relationship has run it's course. Nobody should put up with an unhappy relationship. You either need to take serious steps to fix it, or move on.
> 
> ...


I left her for 4 weeks and got texts every night and phonecalls most days it was almost cringeworthy begging me to come home saying things will change and so I went home. Nothing changed.


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

[email protected] said:


> I don't think the women are justifying, just offering their insight into possible reasons for what's going on.
> 
> Personally I'd say to the op that I think your relationship has run it's course. Nobody should put up with an unhappy relationship. You either need to take serious steps to fix it, or move on.
> 
> ...


If it wasn't for cocaine I wouldn't have pulled and got laid last night, they're not always a bad thing!

Fvcking knackered now though cos I've had about 2 hours sleep.


----------



## Goldigger (May 28, 2011)

Breda said:


> Yes but your partner has trackin devices on you so it dont matter
> 
> The comfortable thing dont wash with me tho.
> 
> ...


That is [email protected] spot on...wish my Mrs would realise that...

Then I might be inclined to rub her up and shag her more often, rather than watching porn and knocking one out.


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> I left her for 4 weeks and got texts every night and phonecalls most days it was almost cringeworthy begging me to come home saying things will change and so I went home. Nothing changed.


So either stay and be unhappy or go and this time stay gone.


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

Smitch said:


> If it wasn't for cocaine I wouldn't have pulled and got laid last night, they're not always a bad thing!
> 
> Fvcking knackered now though cos I've had about 2 hours sleep.


In what way did cocaine help you get laid? Serious question by the way, I have no experience with drugs like that.


----------



## Leigh (Jun 13, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> No, why go you think I own a rottie and a boxer


Erm .... Okay ..... Not sure that sex counts on your score

(Do we need to be calling the RSPCA? :wink:


----------



## Freeby0 (Oct 5, 2012)

Dunno why she would want to glam herself up and go and get smashed around loads of men when shes got you? Doesnt sound right too me.


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish (Mar 18, 2011)

The moral of this story for me is my mrs is just fine with the nagging, indecisiveness and handbag/shoes obsession, and i thought i had it bad, i wont tell her that though!


----------



## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

SwAn1 said:


> Hey you. I have hobbies she doesn't. Ive asked her to see the doc to discuss her libido issues. She won't. I wasn't asking for your sympathy either


Really? Cause the whole thread kinda reads like you do.

You keep contradicting yourself, if you have hobbies and she doesn't then how is she with you 24/7?

If she won't go to the doctor then either go to couples therapy or split up. And this time stay gone.


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

[email protected] said:


> So either stay and be unhappy or go and this time stay gone.


Its hard though isn't it when you leave because your partner isn't the person they once were and they text begging you to come home promising change its hard to just switch off feelings and say stop calling me etc part of you wants to believe its true


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> Really? Cause the whole thread kinda reads like you do.
> 
> You keep contradicting yourself, if you have hobbies and she doesn't then how is she with you 24/7?
> 
> If she won't go to the doctor then either go to couples therapy or split up. And this time stay gone.


Gym bunny you jump to a lot of conclusions I'm not contradicting myself. I work from home I do my hobbies whilst she is at work! It's like the kangaroo court


----------



## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

SwAn1 said:


> Right my missus, goes out into town with her work mates and rolls in at 6 am or some sh!t. (I don't go clubbing, I have no friends that do, sob sob) anyway whenever I taker her out to a s****y restaurant £100 plus, easy, she wears jeans a top and makeup. When she goes into town she wears nice dresses, gets fake tanned wears earings and wears healed shoes. Would this pi55 you off, I've spoken to her about it on a few occasions and she doesn't change. Perhaps I'm being insecure but to me it just reads she doesn't care what I think but wants to look fit for other men when I'm not there? Your thoughts I await the plethora of she's getting bummed by leroy


Are you two married?


----------



## dannydean07 (Jun 14, 2012)




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## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> Its hard though isn't it when you leave because your partner isn't the person they once were and they text begging you to come home promising change its hard to just switch off feelings and say stop calling me etc part of you wants to believe its true


Of course it's hard and of course you want to believe they'll change but in my experience people rarely do. You've given her a second chance and she's made no effort to change.

Sit her down for a serious conversation. Maybe she's just as unhappy as you. In which case, you can decide together whether to give it one last go or go your separate ways. You really can't carry on as you are. What a waste of a life.


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

lukeee said:


> Are you two married?


no mate, we're not


----------



## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

TRUST


----------



## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

SwAn1 said:


> Its hard though isn't it when you leave because your partner isn't the person they once were and they text begging you to come home promising change its hard to just switch off feelings and say stop calling me etc part of you wants to believe its true


Yes it is...that's why love hurts sometimes. Try getting divorced..then you'll discover pain.

Life is not easy... but when people say it's hard I always think 'compared to what?'


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

andyhuggins said:


> TRUST


I get that, but I never used to be like this but when your partner is repulsed at having sex with you lol you tend to lose trust in them!


----------



## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

SwAn1 said:


> I get that, but I never used to be like this but when your partner is repulsed at having sex with you lol you tend to lose trust in them!


Not being funny. But is it really that bad mate?


----------



## Leigh (Jun 13, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> Its hard though isn't it when you leave because your partner isn't the person they once were and they text begging you to come home promising change its hard to just switch off feelings and say stop calling me etc part of you wants to believe its true


Yes, it's very hard. I tried to go several times, and had children too, which made it even harder. It improved for a short time but then back to the usual recoiling if I reached to touch him:sad: I tried the GP and also counselling but this resulted in being ignored for days and then being sniped at.

Stay and try again if you think it's the right thing to do and if you really think things will change but believe me when I tell you if you think being alone and having to start dating at 32 is hard, it's a good deal harder at 42


----------



## reza85 (Jan 11, 2009)

Mate in all honestly she does as much as u let her get away with !

If it was me ill leave her ass in a heart beat not look back !

Hire a privet pa find out wat she gets up to I mean hell 6 am wat is she 18 ?


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

andyhuggins said:


> Not being funny. But is it really that bad mate?


Can we have sex tonight? No I'm wrecked. Can we have sex tonight? No Im tired. I don't bother anymore. She never has or never will initiate it either. So I've made the decision to not even ask her why degrade myself and beg like a dog does it my self esteem no good. I'm buying a new silly expensive car next month that I can't afford and that'll help with mood etc for a few months


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

reza85 said:


> Hire a privet pa find out wat she gets up to I mean hell 6 am wat is she 18 ?


That's what I say, I say your 32 not 20, 32 year olds don't crawl home in short dresses paraletic at 6am


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

reza85 said:


> Mate in all honestly she does as much as u let her get away with !
> 
> If it was me ill leave her ass in a heart beat not look back !
> 
> Hire a privet pa find out wat she gets up to I mean hell 6 am wat is she 18 ?


 :lol:

What is all this drama about the woman staying out late??


----------



## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

...or trying talking with her in a loving way - when the time is right, & explain how you feel.

Say why you don't like certain things, tell her how important she is to you...how that if you both go in the same direction, your lives together will be wonderful.

Get things sorted out...& if that doesn't work. You have an answer.


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

[email protected] said:


> :lol:
> 
> What is all this drama about the woman staying out late??


I wouldn't accept it from my wife /partner TBH,

Just the way l am, l can find no justification for it.


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

[email protected] said:


> In what way did cocaine help you get laid? Serious question by the way, I have no experience with drugs like that.


Was going out in Brighton last night with a girl mate who was bringing another single girl mate out too, I had gear on me, was sharing it with her, helped things along the way. 

To be fair though it probably would have happened anyway cos the chemistry was there from the moment we met, cos I'm such a handsome and charming b4stard.


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

[email protected] said:


> :lol:
> 
> What is all this drama about the woman staying out late??


One 6am isn't late, it's morning light ffs. And 2 if a bloke did that most women would go mental. I await all the female ukm women to say they are cool with their bloke leaving the house at 8pm and rolling in at 6am


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Smitch said:


> Was going out in Brighton last night with a girl mate who was bringing another single girl mate out too, I had gear on me, was sharing it with her, helped things along the way.
> 
> To be fair though it probably would have happened anyway cos the chemistry was there from the moment we met, cos I'm such a handsome and charming b4stard.


Not you in the avi then. Isnt that a little odd?


----------



## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

latblaster said:


> ...or trying talking with her in a loving way - when the time is right, & explain how you feel.
> 
> Say why you don't like certain things, tell her how important she is to you...how that if you both go in the same direction, your lives together will be wonderful.
> 
> Get things sorted out...& if that doesn't work. You have an answer.


  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

SwAn1 said:


> That's what I say, I say your 32 not 20, 32 year olds don't crawl home in short dresses paraletic at 6am


To be fair mate I'm 37 and all the birds I kick about with that are around my age are like that, but we're all single so take from that what you will.

She is behaving like a single person, me and my ex were the reverse of your situation, she was the one wanting sex and staying in and I was the one out till all hours not giving it to her.

It's over mate, I've been there, just do the manly thing and call it a day, there's so many people in this world so why would you stay with one that makes you unhappy?


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

SwAn1 said:


> Not you in the avi then. Isnt that a little odd?


Obviously not my face no, it's a bloke off Jeremy Kyle photoshopped on!


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

We have a silly expensive holiday booked in November so I can hardly jack her in now lol I lose half the money


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Hamster said:


> But if you let her do it then what you allow will continue.


So what do I do? Beat her up?


----------



## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

SwAn1 said:


> We have a silly expensive holiday booked in November so I can hardly jack her in now lol I lose half the money


That sounds so shallow mate.


----------



## husky (Jan 31, 2010)

SwAn1 said:


> We have a silly expensive holiday booked in November so I can hardly jack her in now lol I lose half the money


FFS mate you gain your self respect back-K E R B


----------



## zack amin (Mar 13, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> So what do I do? Beat her up?


No a gentle push down a steep hill or short stairs will do


----------



## marknorthumbria (Oct 1, 2009)

My bird gets dressed up to the balls to go out and says it like peacocking in clothes with other random women out lol.

She wants to wear upper class outfits when we go out cos she wants 2 look respectable for me,

I keep tellin her school outfit will always do me no matter the occasion lol


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

andyhuggins said:


> That sounds so shallow mate.


How I don't follow mate? The holiday was a gift from my parents, I leave her they lose 5k not sure how that makes me shallow but I am here for advice so please crack on


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

SwAn1 said:


> We have a silly expensive holiday booked in November so I can hardly jack her in now lol I lose half the money


Sack her off and take someone else


----------



## Paz1982 (Dec 16, 2012)

Hamster said:


> If thats your choice of punishment then I guess no wonder she doesn't like coming home.


He wants to try giving her the old thumb trick ey :lol:


----------



## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

SwAn1 said:


> How I don't follow mate? The holiday was a gift from my parents, I leave her they lose 5k not sure how that makes me shallow but I am here for advice so please crack on


You are coming across that money is the be all and end all. My wife and marriage is worth more than 5k.


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Hamster said:


> If thats your choice of punishment then I guess no wonder she doesn't like coming home.


Don't be silly, I was joking. It was tongue in cheek you say you wont stand for it, how can you stop someone from doing something they refuse not to. I can't take her pocket money from her or ground her can I?


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

andyhuggins said:


> You are coming across that money is the be all and end all. My wife and marriage is worth more than 5k.


Its not my money that's why, if it was I wouldn't care, but its not. I can't afford a 20k holiday ffs


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

Milky said:


> I wouldn't accept it from my wife /partner TBH,
> 
> Just the way l am, l can find no justification for it.


I did the whole clock watching thing with my ex and I'll never let somebody tell me what time I have to be home again. I'm an adult, I'll decide when I've had enough and want to go home.

Having said that, I very rarely go out and when I do I'm tucked up in bed by midnight :lol:


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

SwAn1 said:


> So what do I do? Beat her up?


Put your fukin foot down!

Grow a back bone!

Eat a snickers!

Crawl out from under the thumb!

Whip the pussy dont let it whip you.... forget that 1 cos you aint gettin any!

Man the fuk up mate


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> One 6am isn't late, it's morning light ffs. And 2 if a bloke did that most women would go mental. I await all the female ukm women to say they are cool with their bloke leaving the house at 8pm and rolling in at 6am


Wouldn't bother me in the slightest if I trusted him. If I didn't trust him then I wouldn't be in the relationship. Simples


----------



## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

SwAn1 said:


> Its not my money that's why, if it was I wouldn't care, but its not. I can't afford a 20k holiday ffs


But can you afford to loose your marriage?


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Breda said:


> Put your fukin foot down!
> 
> Grow a back bone!
> 
> ...


This is my point Ive told her not to do it I've had heated rows over it how else can I 'man the fcuk up' without chinning her which Im not going to do lol


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

[email protected] said:


> I did the whole clock watching thing with my ex and I'll never let somebody tell me what time I have to be home again. I'm an adult, I'll decide when I've had enough and want to go home.
> 
> Having said that, I very rarely go out and when I do I'm tucked up in bed by midnight :lol:


I don't expect anyone to clock watch but IMO there is a line between going out and taking the pi*s and 6 am is taking the pi*s, again IMO.

I am not a tyrant l would just make it clear l don't want to be in a relationship where this kind of thing goes on and they would be far more suited to find someone who was ok with it.


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

Smitch said:


> Was going out in Brighton last night with a girl mate who was bringing another single girl mate out too, I had gear on me, was sharing it with her, helped things along the way.
> 
> To be fair though it probably would have happened anyway cos the chemistry was there from the moment we met, cos I'm such a handsome and charming b4stard.


I suspect a few drinks would've had the same effect. Especially with you being so handsome and charming. So modest too !


----------



## cooke (Sep 1, 2013)

dirtymusket1 said:


> AND!!!!!!!!!
> 
> She's getting bummed by big leroy :lol:
> 
> :innocent:


AHA!! that made me spit up my protein shake my friend!


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

andyhuggins said:


> But can you afford to loose your marriage?


I'm not married. Thanks for trying to help mate, I really don't see where you are coming from. If I cancel the holiday and leave her I WILL lose her surely me staying and going on holiday is the good thing, no?


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Hamster said:


> Maybe if he did that she would want to come home earlier .. I know If that was on offer is be home like a shot.


she hates it. Next


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

SwAn1 said:


> This is my point Ive told her not to do it I've had heated rows over it how else can I 'man the fcuk up' without chinning her which Im not going to do lol


Throw her sh!t out then... I assume its your yard. If not get your tooth brush and cut out.

Yes its hard at 1st but in the long run once you settled you'll realise it was for the best.

She aint showin you any respect by the sounds of it. Your confidence is on the floor so bein your own man for a while will do you the world of good


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

[email protected] said:


> I suspect a few drinks would've had the same effect. Especially with you being so handsome and charming. So modest too !


Oh yeah, we were plastered too.


----------



## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

SwAn1 said:


> I'm not married. Thanks for trying to help mate, I really don't see where you are coming from. If I cancel the holiday and leave her I WILL lose her surely me staying and going on holiday is the good thing, no?


What i am trying to say is a good relationship is worth more than money.


----------



## Mingster (Mar 25, 2011)

SwAn1 said:


> She wouldn't care. I cut all my hair off, shave my entire beard off, buy a new shirt she doesn't even notice lol


Why would you want to be with someone who has this ^^^^ little feelings for you?

Go on the holiday, then move on.


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Anyway, thanks for the all the advice. Good, bad and some a little odd. I'm off to wa4k off to Duncan Banantyne on Dragons Den


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

SwAn1 said:


> How I don't follow mate? The holiday was a gift from my parents, I leave her they lose 5k not sure how that makes me shallow but I am here for advice so please crack on


Don't mean to be clueso..but u just said if u didn't go u would loose half the money then u said it was paid by parents?? So in effect u wouldn't loose the money....do u think ur staying in this mosh mash relationship coz ur afraid to break away? Better the devil u know and all that...coz u seem to be making excuse after excuse as to why u can't leave.


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## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

Milky said:


> I don't expect anyone to clock watch but IMO there is a line between going out and taking the pi*s and 6 am is taking the pi*s, again IMO.
> 
> I am not a tyrant l would just make it clear l don't want to be in a relationship where this kind of thing goes on and they would be far more suited to find someone who was ok with it.


Ok but maybe she's staying out so late because she's been told not to. I was always tempted to rebel against my ex and come home late, wouldn't have dared actually do it though.

I think if you treat somebody with trust and respect then you'll get the same back. Maybe that's naive of me but that's how it should be IMO.


----------



## Leigh (Jun 13, 2012)

Do you really want to go on holiday with a partner who is repulsed by you? Wouldn't it be better to ask your parents if they can get a 'hold' put on the holiday, so that you can sort out your relationship first?

It's a lot of money and personally (if my parents were alive) I wouldn't want them spending out their money on someone who treated me like your partner treats you.


----------



## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

Do what you've always done, get what you've always got.


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Hamster said:


> If I was in a relationship with someone and they insisted on rolling in p1ssed up at 6am ..I'd have a word.
> 
> Infact if they did it once I'd have a word.
> 
> ...


Yeah I can see changing the locks on her house (inheritance) going down well.


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish (Mar 18, 2011)

latblaster said:


> Do what you've always done, get what you've always got.


That'll be nothing then


----------



## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

Seems like dragons den is more important :lol:


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

[email protected] said:


> Ok but maybe she's staying out so late because she's been told not to. I was always tempted to rebel against my ex and come home late, wouldn't have dared actually do it though.
> 
> I think if you treat somebody with trust and respect then you'll get the same back. Maybe that's naive of me but that's how it should be IMO.


By the sounds of it he is treating her with trust and respect and she takin that for a weakness and walking all over him


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Skye666 said:


> Don't mean to be clueso..but u just said if u didn't go u would loose half the money then u said it was paid by parents?? So in effect u wouldn't loose the money....do u think ur staying in this mosh mash relationship coz ur afraid to break away? Better the devil u know and all that...coz u seem to be making excuse after excuse as to why u can't leave.


Yeah course I am its better the devil you know. I just couldn't be assed to go into all the detail about the logistics of the holiday, my olds just want me to be happy


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

SwAn1 said:


> Yeah I can see changing the locks on her house (inheritance) going down well.


So whats keepin you there mate?

You can just up and leave while she's out shoppin


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Leigh L said:


> Do you really want to go on holiday with a partner who is repulsed by you? .


Yes because whenever we are on holiday that's when I see the girl I first got together with and love every minute of it, she's a different person her old self if you like. Sex isn't there still but you know what I mean


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

Breda said:


> By the sounds of it he is treating her with trust and respect and she takin that for a weakness and walking all over him


Maybe but we have only got his side of the story.


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

SwAn1 said:


> This is my point Ive told her not to do it I've had heated rows over it how else can I 'man the fcuk up' without chinning her which Im not going to do lol


Well if you've exhausted every avenue and it's still not working then the only thing left to do is call it a day.

That's the manning up part, the easy thing to do is to stay in a loveless relationship, the hard thing to do is to be a man and tell her you're ending it for the reasons that you've stated in this thread.

Of course you won't do this though and you'll probably wait for her to cheat and then call her a slag for doing it.


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Breda said:


> So whats keepin you there mate?
> 
> You can just up and leave while she's out shoppin


True. I have dogs it aint that easy but yeah I could


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Breda said:


> So whats keepin you there mate?
> 
> You can just up and leave while she's out shoppin


Haha 'while she's out shopping' poor bitch rolls up with 6 pairs of shoes 8 handbags I'm home hunni and he's bailed!!! Breda no


----------



## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

SwAn1 said:


> Yes because whenever we are on holiday that's when I see the girl I first got together with and love every minute of it, she's a different person her old self if you like. Sex isn't there still but you know what I mean


Just tell her that mate.


----------



## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

If it looks like a troll and smells like a troll....


----------



## Leigh (Jun 13, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> Yes because whenever we are on holiday that's when I see the girl I first got together with and love every minute of it, she's a different person her old self if you like. Sex isn't there still but you know what I mean


I know you don't want pity but ... I feel so sad for you because you clearly love her.

Have you tried counselling?


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Hamster said:


> Well you seem to be making every excuse under the sun to keep tolerating her behaviour.
> 
> You carry on letting her do what she does then. But stop moaning about it.
> 
> How do you know she's not out with her mates and telling them she doesn't want to go home Cos your a boring [email protected] and [email protected] all the time to dragons den and she can only tolerate sex with you when she's hammered.. instead of sorting her out like a proper man. Just a thought. Two sides to every story.


What a charming lady you are


----------



## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

Hamster said:


> If I was in a relationship with someone and they insisted on rolling in p1ssed up at 6am ..I'd have a word.
> 
> Infact if they did it once I'd have a word.
> 
> ...


And finally a female on here talking sense and not just defending '1 of the girls'


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish (Mar 18, 2011)

SwAn1 said:


> True. I have dogs it aint that easy but yeah I could


You seem to be full of excuses, until you grow a pair you'll be wasting your life away wallowing in self pity..fix up man


----------



## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

Smitch said:


> Well if you've exhausted every avenue and it's still not working then the only thing left to do is call it a day.
> 
> That's the manning up part, the easy thing to do is to stay in a loveless relationship, the hard thing to do is to be a man and tell her you're ending it for the reasons that you've stated in this thread.
> 
> Of course you won't do this though and you'll probably wait for her to cheat and then call her a slag for doing it.


Spot on smitch!

Do you want to get a few years down the line and look back at all the wasted years you spent being unhappy and frustrated?

Your in a rut mate and its time to pull yourself out of it!


----------



## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

As I said earlier...discuss all this with her in a loving way.

Seriously mate, if you do not get it sorted & your other issue as well, it will I assure you, hurt....alot. Listen to what we are saying, we're mates on here..most of us.


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Leigh L said:


> I know you don't want pity but ... I feel so sad for you because you clearly love her.
> 
> Have you tried counselling?


Nah. I just stick to anti d's and currently done 150mg of valium for a good night sleep. My missus is asleep after being on mdma since Friday at 6pm and went to sleep an hour ago I guess that makes me boring coz I slept one night this weekend.


----------



## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

Ackee&Saltfish said:


> You seem to be full of excuses, until you grow a pair you'll be wasting your life away wallowing in self pity..fix up man


He has a hamster too :lol:


----------



## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

SwAn1 said:


> Nah. I just stick to anti d's and currently done 150mg of valium for a good night sleep. My missus is asleep after being on mdma since Friday at 6pm and went to sleep an hour ago I guess that makes me boring coz I slept one night this weekend.


You both have a co dependant drug problem. This needs to get addressed. I really do know what I'm talking about.

This is a destructive relationship & cannot be fixed until the both of you change it.

Again, I'm being direct with you.


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Hamster said:


> Not about been charming. It's about been honest and up front.
> 
> You don't like the situation you do something positive about it.
> 
> ...


It was a little cutting tbh but hey that's your choice


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Skye666 said:


> Haha 'while she's out shopping' poor bitch rolls up with 6 pairs of shoes 8 handbags I'm home hunni and he's bailed!!! Breda no


If my girl ever came home with 6 pairs of shoes and 8 hand bags she'd wish I'd cut while she was out by the time I'd finished rantin


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish (Mar 18, 2011)

SwAn1 said:


> It was a little cutting tbh but hey that's your choice


So have you decided on what step to take?


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

MutantX said:


> And finally a female on here talking sense and not just defending '1 of the girls'


Have you actually read any of the other ladies' posts? As far as I can remember, we've all said that being in an unhappy relationship is [email protected] and to move on.


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Ackee&Saltfish said:


> So have you decided on what step to take?


Yeah go to sleep and look forward to another 60 hour week where when I get home (appointment) the missus is asleep on the sofa or doing coke lol


----------



## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

[email protected] said:


> Have you actually read any of the other ladies' posts? As far as I can remember, we've all said that being in an unhappy relationship is [email protected] and to move on.


I get the impression Mutant likes to poke with his comments. Or maybe stir. Perhaps we should buy him a spoon?


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

[email protected] said:


> Have you actually read any of the other ladies' posts? As far as I can remember, we've all said that being in an unhappy relationship is [email protected] and to move on.


Oh I dunno, one said I was boring, sh!t in bed and she should be seen to like a proper man. Perhaps she could sort my missus out


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

SwAn1 said:


> Yeah go to sleep and look forward to another 60 hour week where when I get home (appointment) the missus is asleep on the sofa or doing coke lol


Good luck with that mate

You know there are some brilliant, well trained women out there  You seem like a nice guy... little bit soft but I nice guy.

Do yourself a favour and find a nice girl


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> Oh I dunno, one said I was boring, sh!t in bed and she should be seen to like a proper man. Perhaps she could sort my missus out


Lol no she said maybe that's what your girlfriend thinks.


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish (Mar 18, 2011)

SwAn1 said:


> Yeah go to sleep and look forward to another 60 hour week where when I get home (appointment) the missus is asleep on the sofa or doing coke lol


Enjoy it one good thing is at least theres no risk of getting her pregnant (with you anyways) seeing as you ain't getting any, last thing you want is a dependant that will over complicate things


----------



## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

[email protected] said:


> Have you actually read any of the other ladies' posts? As far as I can remember, we've all said that being in an unhappy relationship is [email protected] and to move on.


Most the initial comments from the ladies saw no issue with her arriving home at 6am from a good balls deep session


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> Yeah course I am its better the devil you know. I just couldn't be assed to go into all the detail about the logistics of the holiday, my olds just want me to be happy


Now you're just whining and feeling sorry for yourself. The relationship appears worthless and you're staying for money and inheritance.

What do you want people to stay, I never 'get' these threads.


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

SwAn1 said:


> Yeah go to sleep and look forward to another 60 hour week where when I get home (appointment) the missus is asleep on the sofa or doing coke lol


Do you train mate? (I ask as this is a BB forum) and it would be a much better thing to focus on than the drug habit.

Leave the b!tch at home and start training twice a day. Get some purpose. But anyway I'm out


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

[email protected] said:


> Lol no she said maybe that's what your girlfriend thinks.


I did say he was boring, the only thing the next 10 pages have added is money grabbing and self pitying.


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## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

MutantX said:


> Most the initial comments from the ladies saw no issue with her arriving home at 6am from a good balls deep session


I don't see any issue with her staying out until 6am if that's what she wants to do. She is an adult after all.

I doubt very much that she's out shagging if she has no sex drive. A lot of men seem to jump to that conclusion.


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Hamster said:


> I didn't say that at all.
> 
> Go back and re read it.
> 
> ...


I haven't got upset about anyones opinions bar yours as it was rude most have been very helpful


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Kimball said:


> Now you're just whining and feeling sorry for yourself. The relationship appears worthless and you're staying for money and inheritance.
> 
> What do you want people to stay, I never 'get' these threads.


Who's inheritance? Hers? Its protected I cant get a penny. Why do people keep jumping to conclusions that are way off the mark


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

[email protected] said:


> I don't see any issue with her staying out until 6am if that's what she wants to do. She is an adult after all.
> 
> I doubt very much that she's out shagging if she has no sex drive. A lot of men seem to jump to that conclusion.


Been the bloke shagging the bored wife too often to believe that crap but okay.

If I came home at 6am I would expect sh!t and be more concerned if i didn't get any....


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

MutantX said:


> Do you train mate? (I ask as this is a BB forum) and it would be a much better thing to focus on than the drug habit.
> 
> Leave the b!tch at home and start training twice a day. Get some purpose. But anyway I'm out


I train 5 days per week and have done for 5 years I've lost 2 stone recently. I'm in best shape of my life, anyway


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## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

MutantX said:


> Been the bloke shagging the bored wife too often to believe that crap but okay.
> 
> If I came home at 6am I would expect sh!t and be more concerned if i didn't get any....


Ok


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

MutantX said:


> Most the initial comments from the ladies saw no issue with her arriving home at 6am from a good balls deep session


Nowt wrong with going out clubbing till the sun comes up. Great fun dancing the night away. I'd rather do that on the weekend than stay at home and watch telly.


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## Ackee&amp;Saltfish (Mar 18, 2011)

SwAn1 said:


> I train 5 days per week and have done for 5 years I've lost 2 stone recently. I'm in best shape of my life, anyway


Of what use is being at your best shape physically when mentally and emotionally you are f*cked? Id rather get my mind right man


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## fletcher1 (Jun 14, 2012)

mate just fu*king dump her, this thread is pittyful

for the record i have been u. my mrs was cheating and yes the grass is greener, i have a new mrs a child and cant beileve i put up with the bit*h for 3 years


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## Marshan (Aug 27, 2010)

SwAn1 said:


> I just said above. She goes out on girly nights, or work nights either of which I'm not invited too. She would not want to go out on the lash with just me lol


You are both cokeheads...and she doesn't want to go out with you? Let me tell you this, and it's constructive criticism..she may well love you but she sure as f**k doesn't respect you. I hate to 'pick on you'...but this is a dodgy relationship where you are not equals. You may be happy in this relationship, if you are happy and comfortable with this, good for you. Not telling you what to do but, I'd be out of there on principle alone mate. Not because of the whole going out til 6 thing which wouldn't trouble me as I believe the whole girly/competition type thing is what's happening here, but based on the 'I don't care for your opinion' impression you are giving of her. Actually....in a way, you're a bit unsupportive of her too as you should go to the effort of going out with her every now and again.


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## D3RF (Apr 15, 2011)

if you really want to change something up a bit, why dont you start by suggesting you both detox off the coke for a good few months.... find a shared hobby , or something else to do to spend ur time....

I m only suggesting this as i was quite badly addicted to the stuff years ago , best thing i ever done was get off it. massive cloud just lifted!

Maybe a better idea would be dont even suggest to her to go off it too, just do it, see if she follows suite. if she does, work on the relationship some more , if she dont, use your new found lease of life to bin her and move on to a new fun life!



edit, u probably both have such coke habits as u enable eachother... get medical help and get off the stuff. mdma th odd time is ok in my book! lol


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## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

SwAn1 said:


> Yeah go to sleep and look forward to another* 60 hour week *where when I get home (appointment) the missus is asleep on the sofa or doing coke lol


Lightweight :lol:


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## Chris F (Jul 2, 2013)

I would leave,no question.When my Mrs goes out with her mates i don't have to tell her a time to be home,she respects me enough not to come in all fvcked up at 6am and i wouldnt be with her if she did. maybe in my late teens early twenties that sh1t was cool,but thirties???Eff that mate.My mate puts up with all that stuff off his mrs,she even blew a male stripper at a hen do and he is still with her Dont be that guy.


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

[email protected] said:


> I don't see any issue with her staying out until 6am if that's what she wants to do. She is an adult after all.
> 
> *I doubt very much that she's out shagging if she has no sex drive*. A lot of men seem to jump to that conclusion.


But that's just an excuse isn't it.

I used to use it with my ex when she was pestering me for sex, wasn't that I didn't want it, I just didn't want it with her.

And most women in their 30's that I know have a higher sex drive than the men do.


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## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

is dragons den still on?


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## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

Smitch said:


> But that's just an excuse isn't it.
> 
> I used to use it with my ex when she was pestering me for sex, wasn't that I didn't want it, I just didn't want it with her.
> 
> And most women in their 30's that I know have a higher sex drive than the men do.


I suppose we can only base our assumptions on our own experiences.


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## Marshan (Aug 27, 2010)

andyhuggins said:


> is dragons den still on?


Hahaha....here, what do you do, or hours do you work anyway mate? Seen you mention the whole work hours before..


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

[email protected] said:


> I suppose we can only base our assumptions on our own experiences.


Yeah, and like you said earlier we'e only hearing one side if the story.

I'll be honest, she sounds like my kind of bird, i'm 37 and was up all last night snorting coke and shagging some bird I'd just met, didn't get home til 3pm and haven't slept yet.


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Tbh it sounds like she's bored and is looking for the easy way out which is for the op to say see ya later .

As for going out til early morning we are all aloud a little fun in life regardlesd of who gets fcuking moody .


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## bossdog (Aug 25, 2011)

I'd give here this thread to read and see what she has to say after reading all the comments


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## D3RF (Apr 15, 2011)

bossdog said:


> I'd give here this thread to read and see what she has to say after reading all the comments


print it off and leave it in the house after uv packed all ur **** and left or vice versa leave it on top of all her bags on the kerb!


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Breda said:


> If my girl ever came home with 6 pairs of shoes and 8 hand bags she'd wish I'd cut while she was out by the time I'd finished rantin


And holy crap I bet u can RANT :lol: just saying.


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## Beklet (May 13, 2005)

SwAn1 said:


> One 6am isn't late, it's morning light ffs. And 2 if a bloke did that most women would go mental. I await all the female ukm women to say they are cool with their bloke leaving the house at 8pm and rolling in at 6am


Cool with that....well OK, it was 4am but still........ 

Couldn't be bothered to go out myself, but he wanted to, so off he went.....

Some woman was in the club trying to chat him and one of my other mates up - she turned into Facebook stalker from hell - he's been nervy of going out without me ever since :lol:

So, what I've learned from this thread...

OP complains his mrs is going out all dressed up and coming home at 6am

He thinks she's playing away

It then transpires she's 'repulsed' by him and he gets 'lucky' twice a year

SHe only actually goes out on an all nighter twice a year

He's more worried about money spent on a holiday than his own sanity

OP and his mrs have a co dependent drug habit (always good for the mind, that)

He's a bit insecure and thinks he'll never get another girl who looks like her, so lets her do what she likes (plus she has a nice house)

To make himself feel all better and manly, he's going to buy a mid life crisis car he can't afford to try and prove to himself something that's important in his own head.

OP keeps making excuses as to why he can't ditch her as they're clearly unhappy.

OP - you are coming across as a spineless self pitying wimp. I'm not surprised your girlfriend has little respect for you, it also seems you have no real respect for her, you just like having a pretty girl on your arm and are so crippled by your insecurities (and image) that the thought of actually having to make the effort to find someone else, and the resulting risk that they might - gasp - be slightly less attractive (and more on a par with you - in your head because you're not ugly) that you would rather put up with all the rubbish she dishes and whinge about it on a forum.....

As others have said..man up, get rid and stop making excuses. It will be rubbish for a while, I'm sure but the relief will be almost instant.....32 is nothing, you're not even halfway through yet, do you want another 40 years of this?


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Gym Bunny said:


> Nowt wrong with going out clubbing till the sun comes up. Great fun dancing the night away. I'd rather do that on the weekend than stay at home and watch telly.


I know, some right boring b4stards on this thread it seems!

It seems that some think your life is over once you hit 30, what a dull outlook to have.


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## Marshan (Aug 27, 2010)

Beklet said:


> Cool with that....well OK, it was 4am but still........
> 
> Couldn't be bothered to go out myself, but he wanted to, so off he went.....
> 
> ...


Perfectly put Beklet.


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## ryda (May 31, 2010)

Lol this is so my mrs apart from she don't go out, but say me and her go asda or somewhere am not saying dress up but make abit of effort instead of looking like a jobless dole bum, her excuse will be am only going asda am not trying to impress anyone, and like somebody mentioned she's probably to comfortable because in the early stages of our relationship she would make a decent effort where ever we went


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## Raw meat 1984 (Sep 17, 2008)

6am! jeeze man!

so after reading all comments, what you gunna do??

@SwAn1


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## ellisrimmer (Sep 9, 2012)

Beklet said:


> Cool with that....well OK, it was 4am but still........
> 
> Couldn't be bothered to go out myself, but he wanted to, so off he went.....
> 
> ...


That is what I call pulling no punches


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

Smitch said:


> I know, some right boring b4stards on this thread it seems!
> 
> It seems that some think your life is over once you hit 30, what a dull outlook to have.


I know, I'm not exactly ready to start wearing carpet slippers and watching telly all weekend. I'm in my 30s not dead.


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Raw meat 1984 said:


> 6am! jeeze man!
> 
> so after reading all comments, what you gunna do??
> 
> @SwAn1


Work my tits off to pay for my new flash motor (not mine finance) go easy on the drugs and give her something to think about as she thinks I as safe as houses I think is the best course of action


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

mixerD1 said:


> You are both cokeheads...and she doesn't want to go out with you? Let me tell you this, and it's constructive criticism..she may well love you but she sure as f**k doesn't respect you. I hate to 'pick on you'...but this is a dodgy relationship where you are not equals. You may be happy in this relationship, if you are happy and comfortable with this, good for you. Not telling you what to do but, I'd be out of there on principle alone mate. Not because of the whole going out til 6 thing which wouldn't trouble me as I believe the whole girly/competition type thing is what's happening here, but based on the 'I don't care for your opinion' impression you are giving of her. Actually....in a way, you're a bit unsupportive of her too as you should go to the effort of going out with her every now and again.


I agree with all of that, I do take her out. That was the point of the thread when its with me she dresses like sh!t when out without me she spends hours dulling herself up and looks the business


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Beklet said:


> Cool with that....well OK, it was 4am but still........
> 
> Couldn't be bothered to go out myself, but he wanted to, so off he went.....
> 
> ...


Sorry if I come across whining I was after some advice sorry if I took it the wrong way, yes I have self esteem/ mental issues of which I am dealing with docs and otherwise. The money isn't my money its my parents we've covered that bit. I like the fact you know I have mental issues and then proceed to call me a spineless self pittying wimp. Very compassionate


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## just-that-ek (Nov 10, 2011)

Would it be rude to ask for a picture of what she looks like


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

D3RF said:


> #Maybe a better idea would be dont even suggest to her to go off it too, just do it, see if she follows suite. if she does, work on the relationship some more , if she dont, use your new found lease of life to bin her and move on to a new fun life!


She went to spain for two weeks to see her uncle I did coke once in 2 weeks. When she is in the house I come in from work and there is a line sat on the kitchen table as an addict its near on impossible to not do a line as its in the house


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

just-that-ek said:


> Would it be rude to ask for a picture of what she looks like


Been posted, I removed it after 15 minutes as its not fair on her. You snooze you lose.


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## just-that-ek (Nov 10, 2011)

SwAn1 said:


> Been posted, I removed it after 15 minutes as its not fair on her. You snooze you lose.


Haha b0llocks then


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Anyway @Milky can you lock the thread now I've had what I needed some great advice and some abuse but its only the internet after all you post something up take the rough with the smooth


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## Beklet (May 13, 2005)

SwAn1 said:


> Sorry if I come across whining I was after some advice sorry if I took it the wrong way, yes I have self esteem/ mental issues of which I am dealing with docs and otherwise. The money isn't my money its my parents we've covered that bit. I like the fact you know I have mental issues and then proceed to call me a spineless self pittying wimp. Very compassionate


Never said I was compassionate.

See the DEAD thread 

Everyone has some mental issues, you are choosing to compound them.


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Beklet said:


> *Never said I was compassionate.*
> 
> See the DEAD thread
> 
> Everyone has some mental issues, you are choosing to compound them.


And I didn't suggest you said you were either. I think you're as mental as I am


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## Beklet (May 13, 2005)

SwAn1 said:


> And I didn't suggest you said you were either. I think you're as mental as I am


But in a whole different way....I care too little ...


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Anyway work to do........


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## Paz1982 (Dec 16, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> Been posted, I removed it after 15 minutes as its not fair on her. You snooze you lose.


its not been removed from my w4nk bank though, I made sure I saved that bad boy :whistling:


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## resten (Apr 4, 2012)




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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

Paz1982 said:


> its not been removed from my w4nk bank though, I made sure I saved that bad boy :whistling:


post it back up, that'll teach the sap :lol:


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## Paz1982 (Dec 16, 2012)

Hamster said:


> [email protected] bank stuff is always good to have.... . :laugh:


your avi's in there as well :lol:


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## D3RF (Apr 15, 2011)

SwAn1 said:


> She went to spain for two weeks to see her uncle I did coke once in 2 weeks. When she is in the house I come in from work and there is a line sat on the kitchen table as an addict its near on impossible to not do a line as its in the house


Just say to her u want to stop it and see if she continues to take it. The first thing they will say when u get help to quit is to stay away from situations where coke is going to rear its head. If she continues, Bin her. get that temptation away. sort out ur habit first and i guarantee ul get loads more self confidence to re evaluate your situation. trust me mate, it will be worth it to get a good detox from the stuff! the main thing is that u know u have a habit or a problem with it and ur not really fussed on it anymore. that the first step 

Hope u get sorted mate.


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

D3RF said:


> Just say to her u want to stop it and see if she continues to take it. The first thing they will say when u get help to quit is to stay away from situations where coke is going to rear its head. If she continues, Bin her. get that temptation away. sort out ur habit first and i guarantee ul get loads more self confidence to re evaluate your situation. trust me mate, it will be worth it to get a good detox from the stuff! the main thing is that u know u have a habit or a problem with it and ur not really fussed on it anymore. that the first step
> 
> Hope u get sorted mate.


Thanks I do too. I have told her not to do it in front of me but I know when she's doing it on the sly when I'm in the house as because a) she talks to me and B) she's nice to me. FPMSL I think Ive answered my own thread


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

Whose money buys the coke? I know how much it costs & if she has a "decent" habit that is alot of money.

Getting off drugs is hard work...but you will feel so much better in everyway.


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## funkdocta (May 29, 2013)

Seems like you both want different things. I would guess the ship has run its course.

You need a fresh start and to get out and stop being a boring old fart! Being single is a good motivator.


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

Beklet said:


> Cool with that....well OK, it was 4am but still........
> 
> Couldn't be bothered to go out myself, but he wanted to, so off he went.....
> 
> ...


I think I agree with this post more than any other I've seen since joining


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> I know, I'm not exactly ready to start wearing carpet slippers and watching telly all weekend. I'm in my 30s not dead.


I'm not in my 30s and going home at 1am, Christ how boring! If the night finished at 3 it's been a bit sh1te.


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> I agree with all of that, I do take her out. That was the point of the thread when its with me she dresses like sh!t when out without me she spends hours dulling herself up and looks the business


She probably can't be bothered to get dressed up for an hour out while you check your watch and worry about getting home to sleep.


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## XRichHx (Mar 7, 2012)

I wish my mrs would go out and roll in at 6am. Give me some peace on the occasional Saturday.


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

As requested.


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