# my wife keeps putting weight on..



## Deano1 (Apr 5, 2004)

Ok guys need some advice here with this one...

Basicly my new wife ( been married since october) keeps putting on weight, shes put a stone on easy since the wedding this was happening before we wed and I did sit down and explain to her that shes needs to make the effort so that I find her attractive etc... she told me she would sort it out but as done the oposit.

We are susposed to be going turkey on friday for a week with her family and she was susposed to be using this for her motivation the lose weight but this never happened she just put more on.

I even got us a dog before the wedding so that we could both walk it together etc but this hardly happens and I walk the dog alone most days.

She does have a full time job which is stressfull I know and she says she is always tired because of this but to be honest shes very unfit.

I am really struggling with this one and everytime I try and talk to her she just says im shallow and such things as " what about for better or worse" but the thing is shes not ill! Im starting to not be attracted to her anymore and its killing me.

A big problem is most of her friends and family are fat and im sure this has a negative affect on her and they all wont eachother to be large together.

We have been together for ten years and shes hasnt always been large she has made herself this way.

We have spoke about this over and over again and I have tryed alsorts of ways to sort this but I dont think I can....

I know for a fact that if this all turns to **** ill be the bad guy for sure but im starting to think that enough is enough as its making me depressed.

The last place I wanna be is on holiday with her mum and dad there and all I can think about is how much she is eating.

I really dont know what the **** to do anymore and to be fair I am really angry for what is happening.


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## sizar (Nov 13, 2008)

man it must be bad. do you know what she eats exactly ? can you not get her on a diet .. take her to the gym ? if she won't do it by her self then she needs a kick up the ass .. i am afraid you are the one to do it tho.


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## Dave 0511 (Feb 13, 2009)

is she happy being fat? and is a 'healthy' weight?

it's a tough one but if she doesn't really want to change for herself then it won't happen i don't reckon. is she is happy and healthy you might have to get over it


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## WRT (May 21, 2009)

Not much you can do if she won't listen I'm afraid. Surely if you've told her you find her less attractive she'd change? She must have no self respect whatsoever, if my bird said that to me I'd be on the treadmill all the time.


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## YetiMan1436114545 (Dec 7, 2007)

Are you prepared to leave her if she carries on getting fat? It's hard because you're saying you've talked to her and she said she will sort it. If you're not attracted to her you will end up straying. I'm just giving you my opinion mate, I really don't know what to do in your shoes. She knows it's a problem but isn't doing anything :/


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

You can take her down the gym, even stand over her and watch what she eats at home but if she stuffs her face full of sh1t all day at work it's out of your control.

You can't force someone to lose weight, they have to want to.

Personally i'd wire her mouth shut. :whistling:


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## Was_Eric (Jul 3, 2008)

see my missus has had 3 kids over the last 5 years and her weight has been up and down coz of this

what you need to do is when she does something that you see as healthy and that would help her loose weight you tell her how nice and slim she looks (dont do the opposite if she does something bad)

my missus has just done the manchester 10k and she is pretty slim at the minute, all through her training i was showering her with complements and when she finished i went over the top in telling her how proud i was and how nice and slim she looked

she's well on it now, planning a training routine and fitting it in with mine and stuff

its like gentle subconscious persuasion


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## whackedout (Sep 10, 2009)

Spend all of your time on holiday checking out other women, hitting on them, and making comments about their figures to your wife. She might get the message.


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## marsh (Apr 12, 2010)

if you want her to loose weight with-out gettin in the dog house say its for "health" reasons i.e high blood pressure, stress, back pain etc etc

just dont mention the fact you'll find her unnattractive because she will get depressed and EAT MORE...

good luck gettin around this though mate, gonna be tough lol


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## sizar (Nov 13, 2008)

whackedout said:


> Spend all of your time on holiday checking out other women, hitting on them, and making comments about their figures to your wife. She might get the message.


X2


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## Spangle1187 (Jul 27, 2006)

I met a girl on holiday, slim attractive looked good in a bikini, carried on the holiday romance everything going well. Then she started to gain weight, at first I thought she is in a comfort zone and we talked about it and she said that she had let her self go a bit but she did the opposite and gained more weight, bingo wings you name it. Turns out when I had met her she was depressed and not eating, I come along situation improves so the weight goes up. Bottom line was that she kept winging about her weight but did nothing about it and carried on eating. I even had a chat with her saying that if you are happy at this weight then fine, but she kept on saying that she needed to loose weight but did jack all about. This is what got to me not the weight, the constant winging with no action!


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## Deano1 (Apr 5, 2004)

I did try her training with me made a nice little plan for us to do at home together 3 times a week but she didnt wanna stick at it and said her legs hurt etc.

We eat fairly good at home and I have said I will do alot of the cooking to keep it healthy etc..

The thing is I know she eats rubbish when shes out with her fat work mates or sister!

She tells people she wont to lose weight cuz shes not happy and is always goin on about her diet etc but there is no real truth in this as she keeps putting it on.

If she cant lose weight for her own wedding then I think im f u c k d!

I will walk away if nothing is done as there is no effort on her part I have changed loads for her as when I was younger was always in trouble mainly for abh etc 3 years ago in crown court she said if I ever put her through that again she would leave so that was that been a good boy since but if I said this to her there would be hell up!


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## Dantreadz85 (Jun 4, 2009)

i have the same probem , been struggling with her for years , altho she is not fat so to say but i like thin chicks , in the end it now costs me 40 quid a week for a personal trainer twice a fcukin week , im sure she only goes goes she fancies him , mens health body an all that ha ha ha .

na seriously she has no self motivation and i cant train with her would drive me up the wall , and that was what i was left with , now its just trying to tackle her diet ,

what really helped with that was when i refused her to feed the boy sh!t , and when i caught i done my nut , now cause she feels she has to feed the boy healthy ( which she fcukin should anyway!!!) she eats the same healthy meals , double thumbs up


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

I personally think that change has to come from within the person who needs to change. As much as you may try to encourage her, I think that a certain degree of change has to come from her...which I imagine is incredibly frustrating!!

Is there anything going on in her life that may be demotivating her? e.g. is she unhappy with anything? Stuck in a rut? I know that when I was stressed in a previous job and felt like I had no control, I would get home at the end of the day and seek comfort...mainly in wine. And at the weekends I just wanted to curl up on the sofa...suffice to say, I lost muscle mass and gained weight. I was able to leave my job but stress management may be helpful if stress is a factor.

I've find that routine helps...doing certain things on certain dasy and eating at certain times. However, as eveyone here knows...that takes motivation!!


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## Was_Eric (Jul 3, 2008)

it isnt suppose to matter to the point of leaving her

if you are marrying her you must love her personality

you cant leave her coz shes a fatty


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## Deano1 (Apr 5, 2004)

I did use the whole health thing but she just said I was talking **** and it nothing to do with health but to be honest alot of it is health reasons


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## Was_Eric (Jul 3, 2008)

has she got a double chin?


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## RedKola (Nov 27, 2008)

There's no point going on and on and on about it to your wife, she will probably just rebel against you and eat more! 

She just needs to get motivated and for it to click into place...it's just the getting there that's the hard part.


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## Suprakill4 (Jul 11, 2008)

Mate im afraid you dont have much you can do with this, i have experienced this in the past and no matter what i said, nothing would change unless SHE decides to change. Good idea about staring at other woman on holiday and commenting on their fit bodies. Although dont expect much sex on the holiday lol. Best of luck dude. The ONE single thing i found that did really help was take pictures of her in her underwear and show her them on the computer. She will see herself in a different way sand may prompt her to lose weight, fooking hate woman getting in the "comfot zone" and letting themselves go.


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## Deano1 (Apr 5, 2004)

erics44 said:


> it isnt suppose to matter to the point of leaving her
> 
> if you are marrying her you must love her personality
> 
> you cant leave her coz shes a fatty


lol dude im not goin to leave her cuz shes a fatty I dont wanna leave but im not staying here to watch her turn from something amazing into something less that she can be I like curvy women thats my thing but big to the point of unhealty and unable to run around with kids when we have them is no life!


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

Spangle1187 said:


> I met a girl on holiday, slim attractive looked good in a bikini, carried on the holiday romance everything going well. Then she started to gain weight, at first I thought she is in a comfort zone and we talked about it and she said that she had let her self go a bit but she did the opposite and gained more weight, bingo wings you name it. Turns out when I had met her she was depressed and not eating, I come along situation improves so the weight goes up. Bottom line was that she kept winging about her weight but did nothing about it and carried on eating. I even had a chat with her saying that if you are happy at this weight then fine, but she kept on saying that she needed to loose weight but did jack all about. This is what got to me not the weight, the constant winging with no action!


Ha ha...I was in that situation a few years back....was depressed and never ate...met a man I was immensely happy with and gained weight! Not to the extent of bingo wings though! The solution for me was break up....not to get me depreseed but to be away from his incredibly unhealthy and man sized meals that I was always tempted by.


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## Dantreadz85 (Jun 4, 2009)

kieren1234 said:


> Mate im afraid you dont have much you can do with this, i have experienced this in the past and no matter what i said, nothing would change unless SHE decides to change. Good idea about staring at other woman on holiday and commenting on their fit bodies. Although dont expect much sex on the holiday lol. Best of luck dude. The ONE single thing i found that did really help was take pictures of her in her underwear and show her them on the computer. She will see herself in a different way sand may prompt her to lose weight, fooking *hate woman getting in the "comfot zone" and letting themselves go*.


unfortunatly 90 fcukin percent of them seem to within a month of being with them lol :cursing:


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

erics44 said:


> see my missus has had 3 kids over the last 5 years and her weight has been up and down coz of this
> 
> what you need to do is when she does something that you see as healthy and that would help her loose weight you tell her how nice and slim she looks (dont do the opposite if she does something bad)
> 
> ...


That sounds like a really good approach!!


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## gym rat (Jul 10, 2007)

slip a few t3's in her tea every morn... job done. on a serious note, i feel for ya mate, no one can force any1 to do anything, as most have said the change has to come from her


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## Was_Eric (Jul 3, 2008)

Deano1 said:


> lol dude im not goin to leave her cuz shes a fatty I dont wanna leave but im not staying here to watch her turn from something amazing into something less that she can be I like curvy women thats my thing but big to the point of unhealty and unable to run around with kids when we have them is no life!


:laugh: seriously man encourage her when she is going in the right direction

and as someone has already said dont go on about it to her, she'll probly rebel or seek comfort and end up gettin fatter and smelling<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o></o>


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## Jsb (Mar 30, 2009)

its deffo how you word things mate if you tell her you wont find her attractive this could push her more in a rut, talk to her properly dont lose it with her let her do the talking and offer advise but choose your words careful be as honest as poss without being to malicious, find something maybe you could do together that burns fat, but help her with diet you can eat good and still enjoy what you eat, she needs to be educated with the sounds of it, and nagging dont help you need to be supportive


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## Suprakill4 (Jul 11, 2008)

Dantreadz85 said:


> unfortunatly 90 fcukin percent of them seem to within a month of being with them lol :cursing:


I must have 1 of the lucky 10% because current girlfriend of 14 months hasnt let herself go one bit. She comes to the gym with me and does cardio etc. would LOVE LOVE LOVE her to train but she is too embarassed.

Oh and happy 1000th post


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## jonb19 (Jan 14, 2010)

Hard one mate, feel for you.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o></o>

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Got some girls in accounts that all start slim'ish, and end up the back end of a pig in 6 months due to chocolate Monday's / Fish and chip Fridays / any excuse cream cake day's.<o></o>

Bad enviroment....<o></o>

<o> </o>

If you've talked with her, which must be difficult then what more can you do, and if she's done nowt to get a bikini bod for holiday then your really nact.

Some people are fat happy together, but if you look after yourself then fat and happy dont work.


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## Linny (Jun 23, 2009)

The change has to come within her, but I would tell her how it makes you feel, if she loves you enough she will listen, if you love her enough so will you 

My ex wouldn't listen, to the verge of he'd repulse me, so he went, & now he's bigger than ever, but that's just my opinion


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## Deano1 (Apr 5, 2004)

This is the thing im not fat and never will be I train like a mother ****er but I do it for me. This makes things harder to understand as it is I geuss


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## ba baracuss (Apr 26, 2004)

Grind up some eph and T3 and put it in her food. Job done :thumbup1:


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## Linny (Jun 23, 2009)

ba baracuss said:


> Grind up some eph and T3 and put it in her food. Job done :thumbup1:


Senokot works too


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## Deano1 (Apr 5, 2004)

ba baracuss said:


> Grind up some eph and T3 and put it in her food. Job done :thumbup1:


she did take eph said it made her feel ill!


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## Jalapa (Mar 18, 2010)

Maybe the problem is not the weight. When you are training hard it has to become a lifestyle and if you don't share that lifestyle that could be whats winding you up. I know that situation well.

Maybe ease off a bit on worrying about the weight for a while, you haven't been together for that long, try and find something else you have in common and focus on that for a while. Then who knows maybe in a few years you will go bald and she will get fit. It happened to me apart from the wife getting fit part


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## seppuku (Dec 6, 2008)

I noticed my lass was starting to get a bit wider of bottom earlier in the year, so I made her a deal: She'd stop buying alcohol at the supermarket for me, if she'd stop buying sh*t food for her.

So, no bottles of beer lying around the house tempting me, and no tubes of Pringles for her to demolish!

Show you can give something up as well, make it a deal.

That said, I've long said to her that if she got fat I'd leave her. I'm not sure if she thinks I'm joking or not, but I don't think she wants to find out!


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## robisco11 (Dec 8, 2007)

Deano1 said:


> This is the thing im not fat and never will be I train like a mother ****er *but I do it for me*. This makes things harder to understand as it is I geuss


that one line sums it up. You do it for you, nobody else. And she is the way she is because she is happy and comfortable that way, you cant force your ideals upon her. Not having a go because your clearly frustrated by it, but surely you didnt marry her and stay with her for 10 years simply because of how she looked? If she's happy then let her be, You said yourself...you train for you....its all personal, you train because it makes you happy, she must be happy being as she is.


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## Deano1 (Apr 5, 2004)

Jalapa said:


> Maybe the problem is not the weight. When you are training hard it has to become a lifestyle and if you don't share that lifestyle that could be whats winding you up. I know that situation well.
> 
> Maybe ease off a bit on worrying about the weight for a while, you haven't been together for that long, try and find something else you have in common and focus on that for a while. Then who knows maybe in a few years you will go bald and she will get fit. It happened to me apart from the wife getting fit part


been with her 10 years mate


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## Deano1 (Apr 5, 2004)

robisco11 said:


> that one line sums it up. You do it for you, nobody else. And she is the way she is because she is happy and comfortable that way, you cant force your ideals upon her. Not having a go because your clearly frustrated by it, but surely you didnt marry her and stay with her for 10 years simply because of how she looked? If she's happy then let her be, You said yourself...you train for you....its all personal, you train because it makes you happy, she must be happy being as she is.


she moans and crys anout her weight all the time and goes weight watchers and all that rubish mate she isnt happy she just cant stick to or see things through.

then goes out to mc donalds with the kids from work ???


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## Jalapa (Mar 18, 2010)

Ah sorry, oh in that case your on your own!


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## Deano1 (Apr 5, 2004)

seppuku said:


> I noticed my lass was starting to get a bit wider of bottom earlier in the year, so I made her a deal: She'd stop buying alcohol at the supermarket for me, if she'd stop buying sh*t food for her.
> 
> So, no bottles of beer lying around the house tempting me, and no tubes of Pringles for her to demolish!
> 
> ...


lol I always said that:lol:


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## Dantreadz85 (Jun 4, 2009)

kieren1234 said:


> I must have 1 of the lucky 10% because current girlfriend of 14 months hasnt let herself go one bit. She comes to the gym with me and does cardio etc. would LOVE LOVE LOVE her to train but she is too embarassed.
> 
> Oh and happy 1000th post


i didnt even notice that :thumbup1: lol.

anywayz you are obviusly a lucky bastrd lol.

and i must be extremely unlucky lol , altho my one has sorted her self out now after many tantrums and expenses lol .


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## Cheese (Jul 7, 2009)

Me and my mrs had an argument last night, apparently i make her feel fat and talk to her like a dog.

I said "eat what the fvck you like just don't pinch it off my plate!! no roll over, there's a good girl" (ok i made the last bit up).

Seriously, she pinched 3 chips of my plate. I wrote her a strict diet and she stick to it really well and then blows it at the last minute. Eating crap carbs right before bed.

It so frustrating its unbelievable! i understand what you're going through mate and it is difficult not to scream "PUT THE BON BONS DOWN AND STEP AWAY FROM THE FVCKIN PICK 'N' MIX".

After i told her off for knicking my chips i was washing up and i found a chocolate cake wrapper in the bin, might as well let her eat the chips!!

I've told her i will pass no comment about her diet from now on as i can either be envolved or not... no middle ground, i can't do things by halves and it will end in tears.

Sorry for the tangent, letting of a bit of steam :thumbup1:


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## Ineisa (Nov 25, 2009)

I think as part as being a couple, married or not, both parties have to have the responsibility to still be attractive and keep them selves reasonable fit so that a sexual relationship can be enjoyed, if not I don't think anyone should look surprised if you start finding other persons attractive...

In your case she should understand her responsibility towards you as a couple and make sure she does her part... as I have read you have done your bits for the benefit of your relationship.

Good luck!


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## rs007 (May 28, 2007)

Haven't read other replies as boss dodging and viewing in a tiny letterbox.

Mate you only have yourself to blame. You married her.

It is statistically proven that women only stay slim until they have trapped their man. They might not even be consciously aware of this, its like natures honey trap.

Something in their chemistry keeps em' slim while single as this is typically what is attractive to your average bloke.

But as soon as they are married, the chemistry changes, and they tub up.

Scientists call this the SWTP response (Snakes With Tits Protocol) and possible causes thought to trigger the response include, but are not limited to: exposure to wedding cake, exposure to precious metal in rings, exposure to the specific type of paper in marriage certificates and even the specific type of material in wedding dresses. This is being heavily researched as I type, with the hope that the scientific community can produce something similar to the contraceptive pill, to stop this repsonse taking place as it leads onto an altogether more serious problem - complete stoppage of sex

im joking in case anyone takes that seriously, just thought I wouldnt add any smillies for a giggle


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## gym rat (Jul 10, 2007)

on a more serious note from my last post...my woman piled abit on at xmas and wanted to shift abit. like your girl shes not into the whole training thing but she loves those pump it up dvd's ministry of sound etc, its basically dance routines, stretches and ab routines. maybe something fun like that would make her want to train, 3 times a week is enough... plus u may even get the odd sexy dance when u get her p1ssed.lol. also on the diet front, get her on cereal for breakie. my girl has ditched bread and eats that riveta stuff with a low fat spread and ham every day for lunch with a cereal bar mid morning and a normal dinner at night and she has lost 2stone in 3months. i told her to keep to what shes doing thru the week and ease off at the weekend, it seems to have worked mate. try things in small doses instead of throwing her in the deep end with strict diet etc and she may surprize u. the loss may only be 1 or 2 pounds a week but it all adds up.

on a side note, i did that dvd with her one day and i was blowing outta my ar$e after 10mins... couldnt even finish the abb routine


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## gym rat (Jul 10, 2007)

lol @ rs


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## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

Ineisa said:


> I think as part as being a couple, married or not, both parties have to have the responsibility to still be attractive and keep them selves reasonable fit so that a sexual relationship can be enjoyed, if not I don't think anyone should look surprised if you start finding other persons attractive...
> 
> In your case she should understand her responsibility towards you as a couple and make sure she does her part... as I have read you have done your bits for the benefit of your relationship.
> 
> Good luck!


Spot on!!

Tell her you didnt marry a chumba wumba and you have never fancied a chumba wumba so if she carries on the way shes going and not really bothering to sort herself out she shouldnt be suprised to find she has been given the ol spanish archer!!

If i let myself go id expect my mrs to dump me (not that she would im fecking perfect dont ya know)


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## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

Mind you, ive seen a lot of fellas do the exact same thing, its not just a woman thing..


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## Incredibl3Bulk (May 6, 2008)

\ said:


> see my missus has had 3 kids over the last 5 years and her weight has been up and down coz of this
> 
> what you need to do is when she does something that you see as healthy and that would help her loose weight you tell her how nice and slim she looks (dont do the opposite if she does something bad)
> 
> ...


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## Cra16 (Jan 23, 2010)

When I met my wife she was real heavy, so heavy she woulod tell me how much she weighted.

I liked her but not how she looked, fortuantly neither did she, so she embraced my help and lost 6 stone. She now weight trains and about 1 year in has a 55kg bench, 120kg dead and a 90kg atg squat. We both train for our selfs but also because we want to look good for each other......... shes worth the effort and so apparently am I.


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

gym rat said:


> on a more serious note from my last post...my woman piled abit on at xmas and wanted to shift abit. like your girl shes not into the whole training thing but *she loves those pump it up dvd's ministry of sound etc*, its basically dance routines, stretches and ab routines. maybe something fun like that would make her want to train, 3 times a week is enough... plus u may even get the odd sexy dance when u get her p1ssed.lol. also on the diet front, get her on cereal for breakie. my girl has ditched bread and eats that riveta stuff with a low fat spread and ham every day for lunch with a cereal bar mid morning and a normal dinner at night and she has lost 2stone in 3months. i told her to keep to what shes doing thru the week and ease off at the weekend, it seems to have worked mate. try things in small doses instead of throwing her in the deep end with strict diet etc and she may surprize u. the loss may only be 1 or 2 pounds a week but it all adds up.
> 
> on a side note, i did that dvd with her one day and i was blowing outta my ar$e after 10mins... couldnt even finish the abb routine


Thoses DVD's are surprisingly effective. But they are actually quite hard work...depending on what level you choose. Using the same one can be monotonous but having a variety helped. They did me the world of good a few years back when I wasn't going to the gym.

Good tip gym rat :thumb:


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## WRT (May 21, 2009)

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Sorry what was the question again? :lol: Oh yeah tell your mrs to look at those vids.


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## Jem (Mar 5, 2009)

Linny said:


> The change has to come within her, but I would tell her how it makes you feel, if she loves you enough she will listen, if you love her enough so will you
> 
> *My ex wouldn't listen, to the verge of he'd repulse me, so he went, & now* he's bigger than ever, but that's just my opinion


and now he is coming to me for diet and training plans :lol: he has given himself diabetes along the way as well - fat fooker :whistling:


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## Lois_Lane (Jul 21, 2009)

Encourage her to go to the gym with you and then if you make it enjoyable for her it will set the wheels in motion for change...............


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## Irish Beast (Jun 16, 2009)

Ive gained 4 stone of lard since meeting my girl. I remember when I hit 18 stone she said "I'd still love you if you were 20 stone".

At 21 the jokes on her now!


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## 07smclean (May 25, 2010)

erics44 said:


> it isnt suppose to matter to the point of leaving her
> 
> if you are marrying her you must love her personality
> 
> you cant leave her coz shes a fatty


 this


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## skinnyfat (Mar 30, 2010)

erics44 said:


> see my missus has had 3 kids over the last 5 years and her weight has been up and down coz of this
> 
> what you need to do is when she does something that you see as healthy and that would help her loose weight you tell her how nice and slim she looks (dont do the opposite if she does something bad)
> 
> ...


^^ that or take charge in the kitchen and make her lunch and snacks for work, if that doesnt work then try and learn to love your chubber


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## RedKola (Nov 27, 2008)

Everyone has let their selves go at one point or another...I've done it, Ramsay has done it, weeman has done it...just because you lot are buff motherfckers now doesn't mean you can pass judgement on this guys wife being a fatty and how he shouldn't put up with it...people go through phases and I'm sure with some gentle encouragement his wife will get in the mode and lose weight at her own pace. Nothing worse than someone pressuring you into it.


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## Cra16 (Jan 23, 2010)

RedKola said:


> Everyone has let their selves go at one point or another...I've done it, Ramsay has done it, weeman has done it...just because you lot are buff motherfckers now doesn't mean you can pass judgement on this guys wife being a fatty and how he shouldn't put up with it...people go through phases and I'm sure with some gentle encouragement his wife will get in the mode and lose weight at her own pace. Nothing worse than someone pressuring you into it.


I respect my partner to much to let my self go. I agree pressure won't solve a thing but theres a deeper issue here really, letting your self go usually relates to deeper issues than lazyness. No one thats been in shape enjoys being fat.


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## Themanabolic (Jun 25, 2009)

whackedout said:


> Spend all of your time on holiday checking out other women, hitting on them, and making comments about their figures to your wife. She might get the message.


that or jab her with growth & leptin when she isn't looking

also grind up clen n put it in her food... problem solved


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## rs007 (May 28, 2007)

Cra16 said:


> *I respect my partner to much to let my self go.* I agree pressure won't solve a thing but theres a deeper issue here really, letting your self go usually relates to deeper issues than lazyness. No one thats been in shape enjoys being fat.


Well I respect Red, immensely - and I let myself go?

Too many are too arrogant to believe the ground couldnt be whupped out from beneath their feet at a moments notice. Your head can go at any time for any reason.

A very close friend of mine was found hanging by his belt in his close stairwell, and it started me on a spiral that took me a lot of time to get back from - guts of 4ish years to be exact. Gave up training, took up smoking, bottle of spirits a night. wieght balloned to 18ish stone, and next to none of that was muscle. Red stood by me, even tho I tried to distance myself from her...

And without blowing my trumpet, look what I have achieved since, came back stronger for having lived through it.

You can't give up on people for something so superficial, if the relationship is the real deal.

I do acknowledge you have said this in your post tho - re it normally having issue deeper rooted than simple laziness - not picking on you specifically, just your post was a convenient springboard for mine.


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## chrisj22 (Mar 22, 2006)

Jesus christ, whatever shape/size/weight my wife was I wouldn't care. I love her for who she is.


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

RedKola said:


> Everyone has let their selves go at one point or another...I've done it, Ramsay has done it, weeman has done it...just because you lot are buff motherfckers now doesn't mean you can pass judgement on this guys wife being a fatty and how he shouldn't put up with it...people go through phases and I'm sure with some gentle encouragement his wife will get in the mode and lose weight at her own pace. Nothing worse than someone pressuring you into it.


I whole heartedly agree with this. I've let myself go on two occassions...one time was with a guy who was quite simply mean about it; making little jibes all the time...it did not motivate me to get back into shape..instead it made me unhappy and want out of the relationship.

There are evidently some people who never get out of shape, but there are those who have little relapses....maybe that's hard for the former to understand...


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## Mercy-Leigh (Jun 21, 2009)

rs007 said:


> Well I respect Red, immensely - and I let myself go?
> 
> Too many are too arrogant to believe the ground couldnt be whupped out from beneath their feet at a moments notice. Your head can go at any time for any reason.
> 
> ...


X2 !!!!!!!


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## russforever (Apr 2, 2009)

shag the fat off her!!!


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## huwgarms (Jun 12, 2010)

try askin her to keep a food diary sometimes this can come as as bit of a shock, also as suggested earlier, try to make all her work meals in advance so you know she has plenty of food for the day if you can, toughie mate, i said to my wife that couples that play together stay together we are lucky that we both now workout together and when we food shop its really easy to only put good food into the trolley, if you dont buy ****, its not there to eat (at home anyway)

good luck with it mate


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