# Sports discipline help.



## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Wrong section I know but I don't think we have a appropriate section.

My little dude is somewhere on the autistic spectrum and I've been humming and arrring about getting him into a really disciplined sport.

Something like

Karate

Martial arts

Boxing etc.

He has really difficulty with relationships with his peers. But Will make really good bonds with adults.

He has a huge temper and will spiral out of control at the slightest wrong thing.

My idea is that he is taught to focus and control his anger then maybe we can move forward. As his temper is holding him back in a lot of ways.

He just doesn't know how to control it.

Any of you participate in these sports and can direct me in the one that's has the most discipline and focus.

No offence but no sh1tty comments about being a bad parent please. No one has grounds to judge unless they have brought up a autistic child.

@Leigh L do you also have any suggestions as I believe you work in this area or have at least some knowledge.


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## johnnya (Mar 28, 2013)

What about coolit think he looks after 5 autistic kids hes a therapist I think


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## SJL1990 (Mar 3, 2014)

mrssalvatore said:


> Wrong section I know but I don't think we have a appropriate section.
> 
> My little dude is somewhere on the autistic spectrum and I've been humming and arrring about getting him into a really disciplined sport.
> 
> ...


This is a difficult one, as my friend has a similar problem.

He took him to karate lessons, and he loved it... But then he kept getting sent to the headmaster because he kept karate chopping and roundhouse kicking other children in the face at school haha.. Shouldn't laugh, but it was mad.

Anyway, he then took him to a painting class.... And now he LOVES drawing and painting.


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

johnnya said:


> What about coolit think he looks after 5 autistic kids hes a therapist I think


Cheers for tagging.


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## johnnya (Mar 28, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> Cheers for tagging.


Soorry didnt want to tsg until I run it past you...ya cheecky mare:rolleyes:

@coolit

@cooltt

@coltt


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

SJL1990 said:


> This is a difficult one, as my friend has a similar problem.
> 
> He took him to karate lessons, and he loved it... But then he kept getting sent to the headmaster because he kept karate chopping and roundhouse kicking other children in the face at school haha.. Shouldn't laugh, but it was mad.
> 
> Anyway, he then took him to a painting class.... And now he LOVES drawing and painting.


Oh gosh shouldn't laugh but lol bless him.

My little one has such a temper

He came home today been in trouble for smashing a set of drawers that I've now got to replace.

:-/

He has trouble with fine motor skills (not very good with a pencil etc) but it sooo incredibly clever. He's working above his sister and she's 7!!

I don't know what else to do with him.

Which I why I though along this route.


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

johnnya said:


> Soorry didnt want to tsg until I run it past you...ya cheecky mare:rolleyes:
> 
> @coolit


Lol shut it.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> Wrong section I know but I don't think we have a appropriate section.
> 
> My little dude is somewhere on the autistic spectrum and I've been humming and arrring about getting him into a really disciplined sport.
> 
> ...


If you want to put him into martial arts then go for aikido. He will be put with different partners each week so he will learn to mix with others, its highly disciplined and not a physical martial art like karate especially for young kids as their bones and muscles haven't fully grown yet they can't do the real stuff. He will get to learn what you want him to learn without him punching and kicking his sister around the house with karate lol


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> If you want to put him into martial arts then go for aikido. He will be put with different partners each week so he will learn to mix with others, its highly disciplined and not a physical martial art like karate especially for young kids as their bones and muscles haven't fully grown yet they can't do the real stuff. He will get to learn what you want him to learn without him punching and kicking his sister around the house with karate lol


Hmmm he needs to have he same tutor throughout.

It's messed him up in swim lessons as they keep messing with the instructors.

Not a good idea

If I could find what you suggestion with the same instructor it would be a brilliant plan


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## johnnya (Mar 28, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> Lol shut it.


done anyway..its more than you deserve...:laugh:


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

johnnya said:


> done anyway..its more than you deserve...:laugh:


Oh well now I feel really special thanks a lot 

*blowsbigfatrasberry*


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## johnnya (Mar 28, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> Oh well now I feel really special thanks a lot
> 
> *blowsbigfatrasberry*


im dissapointed in your obvious lack of gratitude I even went to other posts to find his name.

typical woman, blokes spends a good few seconds trying to please you and your still not happy:tongue:


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> Hmmm he needs to have he same tutor throughout.
> 
> It's messed him up in swim lessons as they keep messing with the instructors.
> 
> ...


There should be at least 2 one male, one female by law so he will have them. Mine had one main instructor but the higher grades would be in charge of a couple and so on.

My karate lessons were one on one but that may not help him. I don't understand autism so I dunno how he would react to being yelled at for two or four hours.


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

johnnya said:


> im dissapointed in your obvious lack of gratitude I even went to other posts to find his name.
> 
> typical woman, blokes spends a good few seconds trying to please you and your still not happy:tongue:


Hang on a minute. I said thank you. You big green meanie. !! 

I am sorry for displaying less gratitude that you had so clearly hoped for!


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> There should be at least 2 one male, one female by law so he will have them. Mine had one main instructor but the higher grades would be in charge of a couple and so on.
> 
> My karate lessons were one on one but that may not help him. I don't understand autism so I dunno how he would react to being yelled at for two or four hours.


Yes yelling at Sam is like telling at me. I'll drop you on your ar$e!! Pmsl.


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## johnnya (Mar 28, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> Hang on a minute. I said thank you. You big green meanie. !!
> 
> I am sorry for displaying less gratitude that you had so clearly hoped for!


Ill accept your thanks..THIS TIMEits always a pleasure to help:thumb:

did the cvnt even reply yet...lol


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

johnnya said:


> Ill accept your thanks..THIS TIMEits always a pleasure to help:thumb:
> 
> did the cvnt even reply yet...lol


Haha nope.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> Yes yelling at Sam is like telling at me. I'll drop you on your ar$e!! Pmsl.


Yeah but only difference was this guy could drop me quicker lol and he did many times lol. Ill be giving my kids the same martial arts lessons so ill be waiting for social services lol.

I bet you go all red faced when someone's yelling at u  softy really


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> Yeah but only difference was this guy could drop me quicker lol and he did many times lol. Ill be giving my kids the same martial arts lessons so ill be waiting for social services lol.
> 
> I bet you go all red faced when someone's yelling at u  softy really


Hmmmm. The woman at the kids school thought that.

Now she walks a different way to school.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> Hmmmm. The woman at the kids school thought that.
> 
> Now she walks a different way to school.


A different way as in road or different way as in new limp lol


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> A different way as in road or different way as in new limp lol


Both


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## Southern Karate Guy (Feb 27, 2014)

i have seen karate mentioned before as a good one as its structured and disciplined, you have to find a good club though.


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

amigamike said:


> i have seen karate mentioned before as a good one as its structured and disciplined, you have to find a good club though.


I'm thinking of paying for private sessions.


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## Guest (Apr 30, 2014)

mrssalvatore said:


> Wrong section I know but I don't think we have a appropriate section.
> 
> My little dude is somewhere on the autistic spectrum and I've been humming and arrring about getting him into a really disciplined sport.
> 
> ...


Hello mrssalvatore,

While it may seem the obvious choice to channel a child's anger with a contact sport, with autistic children the rules are different. Channelling anger into a contact sport will "stoke his temper" to the point that he will feel it's acceptable to attack other children at will. Many autistic children cannot differentiate between the contact sport environment (where it's ok to kick / punch people) and the playground or home.

Rage and temper are often symptoms of boredom rather than wanting to misbehave, this is where your efforts should be focused, occupying the child with whatever it is he enjoys doing that doesn't involve spiking his anger.

I'm not sure what support you are currently receiving and I don't know your individual circumstances so I can only offer general advice that the majority of autistic children respond well to.

Boundaries and routine should be at the centre of any "behavioural" support and I'm afraid the relentless occupation of the autistic mind. Reading, drawing, painting, building, music, exploring are all activities that autistic children respond well to. The fact that he relates more to adults than children points to the fact he finds the adult world more interesting / stimulating than his own. You can use this to your advantage by taking up a hobby where he can join you then be left alone to his own devices once you have established the routine.

I understand it can be exhausting being the parent of an autistic child but here in the UK we are very lucky to have so much support available. Autistics are super in tune with parental emotions and the world around them just not in a way it's easy for us to understand. There is no one treatment that works for all so much of the time it's a case of trial and error but your welcome to PM with the specifics of your son. I can then offer advice more tailored to suit your circumstances.


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

cooltt said:


> Hello mrssalvatore,
> 
> While it may seem the obvious choice to channel a child's anger with a contact sport, with autistic children the rules are different. Channelling anger into a contact sport will "stoke his temper" to the point that he will feel it's acceptable to attack other children at will. Many autistic children cannot differentiate between the contact sport environment (where it's ok to kick / punch people) and the playground or home.
> 
> ...


I can't do any of that which you suggested in the first paragraph as it only happens at school :-/

He's been excluded once before for lashing out at other kids. He just doesn't like them.

He had many structures in place at school, but they won't listen to my strategies i use at home to defuse the situations once his trigger points are activated. I apparently am under minding their authority.

So I am a bit at a loose end.

But thank you for you're detailed reply.

I am thinking of taking up rock climbing again as it's something I am very good at.

I'm wondering weather to get him into it also.


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Add to the lashing out bit.

He had a fight with another child

So they put him in isolation a week after the event for punishment.

I told them this wasn't a good idea as he doesn't like small confind spaces and needs to change activities frequently to stop him from being bored.

Again they wouldn't listen they put him in isolation all day.

At lunch time he kicked of at the teachers. As they wouldn't let him have a break and that's when they excluded him. :-/

We have been to a specialist who's official diagnosis was

He has a isolated social interaction disorder (which is partly on the spectrum)

He's demand avoidance

And he's bored rigid at school.


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## Guest (Apr 30, 2014)

mrssalvatore said:


> I can't do any of that which you suggested in the first paragraph as it only happens at school :-/
> 
> He's been excluded once before for lashing out at other kids. He just doesn't like them.
> 
> ...


I've had many "robust" conversations with head teaches who have insisted they have the best support in place possible yet the child continues to miss behave, funny that. Unfortunately the most productive solution is continuous 1 on1 supervision / care throughout their schooling but there just isn't the funds available to do this. You can push and push to get him onto a specialist facility with other autistic children but these facilities are few and far between.

Whatever strategies you use at home that work continue to use them you're obviously doing a good job. Rock climbing is an excellent idea, it takes focus and discipline exactly what autistic children respond to.


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

cooltt said:


> I've had many "robust" conversations with head teaches who have insisted they have the best support in place possible yet the child continues to miss behave, funny that. Unfortunately the most productive solution is continuous 1 on1 supervision / care throughout their schooling but there just isn't the funds available to do this. You can push and push to get him onto a specialist facility with other autistic children but these facilities are few and far between.
> 
> Whatever strategies you use at home that work continue to use them you're obviously doing a good job. Rock climbing is an excellent idea, it takes focus and discipline exactly what autistic children respond to.


Brilliant thank you ever so much for your help and advice.

I hate it at the minute every single day it's he's done this that and the other. It's so tiring.

I've even offered to go into school for a few hours every day to show them how I handle the situations but same story again and again.

It's infuriating.

Thanks again. Really appreciated


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## johnnya (Mar 28, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> Brilliant thank you ever so much for your help and advice.
> 
> I hate it at the minute every single day it's he's done this that and the other. It's so tiring.
> 
> ...


told ya 

cheers @cooltt


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

johnnya said:


> told ya
> 
> cheers @cooltt


Alright mr smarty pants. 

Thank you


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## Leigh (Jun 13, 2012)

Hi @mrssalvatore

Sorry I'm late replying to this but only just saw it. I don't really think I can add much to what's already been said by @cooltt.

My son isn't severely autistic, he was initially diagnosed with dyspraxia, then added Asperger's Syndrome, and finally high-functioning autism. TBH he displays a collection of symptoms and I'm not sure there's a catch-all diagnosis for it. He's always been clever, passing his 11+ and attending a grammar school, and is now 17 and at college.

When he was small, he had some anger problems at home but these weren't exhibited at school (only once - a biting incident). Mostly, he used to get stroppy, withdraw from people, sitting under the table, locking himself in the loos etc, refusing to participate. He was bullied a little but nothing major. He had one friend who he had grown up with and they mostly stuck together during infant school but he found it hard to relate to other children. My son struggled with physical activity, becoming tired quickly due to the effort required to try to co-ordinate himself. He had hyperflexion in his arms, insisted on writing left-handed though he was right-handed according to his physiotherapist (and his right hand remains dominant now), couldn't catch a ball or skip, let alone play football. He came last in every race.

He struggled to organise himself in school, and used to get upset when routines changed. I went and spoke to the school and they agreed they would give him advance warning when things were going to change, so he could take in the information. They also gave him clearer written instructions for homework, so I could explain things again once at home. I also made up and printed picture card prompts to help him to pack his bag properly etc so he could take responsibility for himself a little more.

When out of school, we offered him lots of opportunities, to try to help him form better relationships and to improve his co-ordination. I always insisted he had swimming lessons and so he can now swim really well but whenever the venue or instructor was changed, we'd have tears and clinging but I made him continue (through reasoning - he had to do something so until he found another sport instead, so swimming stayed).

He had rebound therapy initially with his physio but when this wasn't available any more, we took him to trampolining. Over the years, there was taekwondo, trapeze, French club, dry slope skiing, horseriding, diving, wall-climbing, drama club, childrens' book group, art club, pottery and lots of things I've forgotten tbh. He disliked most things physical but loved reading, puzzles, cooking, planting things, art and craft, lego, board games and ... video games! The therapist said video games were good because they helped his hand-eye co-ordination and I have to say they did. Board games helped him deal with turn-taking and sharing.

I think all you can do really is try things out with him and see what he wants to do - What works for him. Therapists can offer suggestions and I do remember longing to find the 'one interest' that was going to turn it all around for him but we never found it.

Has your son been statemented? I didn't push for this and I later regretted it when he struggled to organise school work in secondary school. If he is statemented, a 1:1 teaching assistant might be possible for a portion of his lessons.

I hope you get some more support from the school. It really seems like they aren't keen to keep him there. Good luck with it


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Leigh L said:


> Hi @mrssalvatore
> 
> Sorry I'm late replying to this but only just saw it. I don't really think I can add much to what's already been said by @cooltt.
> 
> ...


Thank you Leigh

Really no need to apologise

Thank you for you lengthy reply.

School are in my eyes bullying in us into a wrong diagnosis for a fully autistic child.

He has one part of this and this isn't enough for a true diagnosis.

We have statement he has one to one for pretty much the whole day.

It's his temper more than anything. I manage to sort and pre emphasise one trigger point no sooner than another appears.

I can't seem to get top side it.

He loves sports which made me head down that route initially. But can understand cooltt opinions on the violence side of things.

I'm thinking of heading into the rock climbing as suggested. See if that sheds any light

Currently we have.

The MAT team involved

Hospitals plus gp

A clinical physiologist

Speech therapist purely language based his speech is fine.

A Austim group.

The LSA obviously for the statement

Behavioural physiologist

School physiologist

An none of the above can sort it.


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