# Anybody been in prison?



## Kennyken (Jun 20, 2011)

Just something I was wondering as I'm bored, ill and in bed on holiday

How long was it for also?


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Not me thank fcuk... Out of all my boys I'm the only 1 that hasn't


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## DutchTony (Sep 25, 2011)

I've never had the pleasure of sitting around all day playing playstation like they do unfortunately.


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## Sharpiedj (Oct 24, 2011)

Not a chance, i know alot of people that have. They get what they deserve


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## airkyd (Jun 9, 2011)

i have a mate who just came out. and he got huge!!! he was a skinny kid before, but now he is much bigger. he told me he was doing 1000 push ups a day .


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## Kennyken (Jun 20, 2011)

I know people that have and they hated it. Wanted to get out asap.

They even said they would never meet up with anyone they met on the inside.


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## Moonbeam (Jul 20, 2011)

Does visiting count? If so then yes


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## Fatstuff (Mar 2, 2010)

Nope, come v close though!!


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## Fatstuff (Mar 2, 2010)

What about it though anyway ?


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## C.Hill (Nov 21, 2010)

I've been in prison, to visit a mate lol wouldn't wanna serve time there.


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

3 months for being a pr1ck in 1997, did 46 days, first wing was smackheads galore but they move the "normal" lads to the new wings asap and that was sound, had a job painting and decorating cells when someone left (could collect all of the porno mags which was a big thing inside), footy, gym, snooker etc. Met some sound lads too. Think of it as like a youth club without the beer and birds.

Sentence now spent and work for Investment Banks, I am a good lad now


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## Speedway (Nov 25, 2011)

I would hate to be locked up, could not even begin to imagine what it feels like to get a big sentence, say 10 years or more. Did spend a week or two in the guardhouse when I was in the army, bloody awful that was.


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## Tassotti (Feb 27, 2011)

Prison was a right laugh.

Saying that, I was the Daddy though


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## soob the dug (Apr 12, 2011)

no chance, would rather top myself thanks

i have heard from guys who have done time though. Dbol and oxys seem to be the favs as injectables are a no no.


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## johnny_lee (Jun 15, 2011)

yes briefly for unpayment of court fines not an easy thing but i can cope with it Lots of people get bullied for there belongings like **** shower gels and food but if you stand your ground they will leave you alone well i certanly got left alone still havent and wont pay the fine so if they want to chuck me in jail for another week and cost themselves more money there welcome to as i can cope with it


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## Craig660 (Dec 8, 2005)

I was inside for possesion of a fire arm


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## damerush (Sep 17, 2011)

Craig660 said:


> I was inside for possesion of a fire arm


 Police managed to get tickets to the gun show?


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## Chomp91 (Jun 4, 2012)

Not me


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## Kennyken (Jun 20, 2011)

Thought there would be a few more on here tbh


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## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

a few times

while your there there's nothing you can do about it so you just get on with it, watch tv, then during the day work, do a course or somesh1t, they don't leave you alone to sit around and watch tv all day, then in the evening play pool, watch tv in your room all night, next day start again etc etc until you go home

you can't really explain what prison's like to someone who hasn't been, prisons prison, it's not like the films or probably any of the preconcievied ideas you have about it and when you get there for the first time you'll understand why it's not something you can really explain to someone who hasn't been.

in a lot of ways it's sh1t, there's a certain smell to jail, like in mass public buildings like hospitals have a certain smell, a bit like that except a sort of dirty smell and the matress on your bed is about 1 inch thik and hard as a punch bag, after the first 2 or 3 days of being there for your first time you wont really notice you're there you'll just get on with it

the one preconcieved idea about jail you might have that is true is that the screws are c*nts! i've been on report everytime i've been jail, disobeying a lawful order, fighting etc, all bollox really then you have to have a mini trial thing in front of the houseblock governer with a big picture of the queen behind them whilst you explain why you'd been a naughty boy lol and there's screws either side of you making up sh1t about how you've been disruptive ever since you've turned up and untold other lies because they're sad nasty little jobsworth c*nts


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## Malibu (May 13, 2010)

I have, but would never ever want to go back. Full of chavs/druggies.


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## Simspin (Sep 5, 2011)

no one or two close calls but im a gud boy now.


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## Sharpiedj (Oct 24, 2011)

If i ever get charged with anything I'm getting a full sleeve tat with a map of the prison on.


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## johnny_lee (Jun 15, 2011)

Sharpiedj said:


> If i ever get charged with anything I'm getting a full sleeve tat with a map of the prison on.


the worst tattoos ive seen are the ones that say educated in hmp lol why get that on your body and its normally somewhere on a sleeve like there proud to show of


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## Kennyken (Jun 20, 2011)

TheBob said:


> Kenny ... Change title to anyone bum raped in prison


Lol you think anyone would admit ?


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## Sharpiedj (Oct 24, 2011)

johnny_lee said:


> the worst tattoos ive seen are the ones that say educated in hmp lol why get that on your body and its normally somewhere on a sleeve like there proud to show of


I would get a map of the prison, so i can plan my escape route  forward thinking.


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## chinup (Apr 5, 2012)

Not Prison as such more just getting the Jail at Police Station for 1 or 2 nights when I was teenager and even then it was grim stuff


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## alan1971 (Mar 30, 2012)

been inside myself, that was back in 1996.


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## chinup (Apr 5, 2012)

TheBob said:


> Kenny ... Change title to anyone bum raped in prison


Yeah if you're all out of Mars bars and **** what else do you have left???

Knew a big guy local hardman, dead now, he used to say he was the Mars bar King in Barlinnie as he didn't smoke or 'bum' so folk would

win his favour with Mars bars 

Wouldn't wanna arrive there weak and puny and someone see's something they like in me eek!!! lol


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## JANIKvonD (Jul 7, 2011)

nope, close a couple times (latest was a month ago :mellow: ) glad its behind me now. half my family on my dads side have tho and plenty mates....its a fukin holiday camp.


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## harryalmighty (Nov 13, 2011)

Sharpiedj said:


> I would get a map of the prison, so i can plan my escape route  forward thinking.


youve watched too much prison break


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## retro-mental (Dec 2, 2010)

When i was younger i was in with the "wrong crowd" so to speak. Out of a group of about 10 there was only a couple that didnt get sent down, I was one of the lucky ones. Inside my mates got on the smack. Ruined there lives and one even ended his life with an OD

They never took anything good out of going down and i am glad i never got sent down


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

retro-mental said:


> and i am glad i never got sent down


But you did get bum raped tho?


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## Kennyken (Jun 20, 2011)

Mb you been prison ? You look like the sort that has lol


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## johnny_lee (Jun 15, 2011)

i think it does some lads good espesially the young soft lads who dont say boo to a goose it will really harden then up little lad i know he got punched with one blow when using the phone to his mother and that one puch was enough to break his eye socket and leave his eye nearly hanging out his face and he got chucked back in his cell with one paracetemol no hopspital nothing i had boiling water with sugar in it chucked at me for no reason the little squirts who are soft as **** will come out and not take **** from anyone most of the time


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## barrettmma1436114759 (Feb 28, 2011)

Breda said:


> Not me thank fcuk... Out of all my boys I'm the only 1 that hasn't


thats because your a good boy breda


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## barrettmma1436114759 (Feb 28, 2011)

costa del shrewsbury lol


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Kennyken said:


> Mb you been prison ? You look like the sort that has lol


lmao , no mate. ive hung around the wrong crowd before but the only trouble ive ever been in is for stealing a cheese grater from safeway .

oh and i recieved 34points on my driving license when i was 16 :lol: but thats not classed as a 'criminal' offence


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

johnny_lee said:


> i had boiling water with sugar in it chucked at me for no reason


NO FCUKIN WAY THATS TERRIBLE. SUGAR in it !!!!!! wow .


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## vtec_yo (Nov 30, 2011)

johnny_lee said:


> i think it does some lads good espesially the young soft lads who dont say boo to a goose it will really harden then up little lad i know he got punched with one blow when using the phone to his mother and that one puch was enough to break his eye socket and leave his eye nearly hanging out his face and he got chucked back in his cell with one paracetemol no hopspital nothing i had boiling water with sugar in it chucked at me for no reason the little squirts who are soft as **** will come out and not take **** from anyone most of the time


I must congratulate you Johnny, your spelling has improved dramatically and I can actually understand what the **** you're on about.

As for OP,

no.


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## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

thread title should be changed to: has anyone "very nearly" gone to prison because it looks like 95% of the forum have


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## Kennyken (Jun 20, 2011)

Uk_mb said:


> lmao , no mate. ive hung around the wrong crowd before but the only trouble ive ever been in is for stealing a cheese grater from safeway .
> 
> oh and i recieved 34points on my driving license when i was 16 :lol: but thats not classed as a 'criminal' offence


A cheese grater ? Times are hard up north ?


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

Kennyken said:


> A cheese grater ? Times are hard up north ?


My nan didnt like sliced cheese on her samwhich mate. the slut !!


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## Kennyken (Jun 20, 2011)

vtec_yo said:


> I must congratulate you Johnny, your spelling has improved dramatically and I can actually understand what the **** you're on about.
> 
> As for OP,
> 
> no.


Must have a new phone that has spell checker


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## TECH (Nov 30, 2011)

Been in a few prisons with work. HMP Bristol in Horfield is horrible. Smells like men and sweat, saw cockroaches on the floor, dirty mattress, small cells, really grimy place full of mouthy dirty smackhead. Ley hill isn't too bad, bit like a hostel and lads are pretty jolly. Visited a mate in Guys Marsh and it used to be a kids prison so pictures of mickey mouse and sh*t on the walls. He said it wasn't too bad in there.

Too many people without first hand knowledge tell you prison is easy. Go have a guided tour of HMP Bristol and tell me it's a 5 star life.


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## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

TECH said:


> and sh*t on the walls. He said it wasn't too bad in there.


Hmm sounds lovely :lol:


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

barrettmma:3179300 said:


> thats because your a good boy breda


I am now more or less but was never one for committing "silly" crimes which my friends got caught and sentenced for


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## Kennyken (Jun 20, 2011)

I live 2 mins from hmp woodhill and that's a cat A prison

Bronson, huntley and abu hamza have been there


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Kennyken:3179330 said:


> I live 2 from hmp woodhill and that's a cat A prison
> 
> Bronson, huntley and abu hamza have been there


Visited woodhill a few times... Seems a nice gaff


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## TECH (Nov 30, 2011)

Uk_mb said:


> Hmm sounds lovely :lol:


Not that type of sh*t. Is in Brisol though.


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## Kennyken (Jun 20, 2011)

Breda said:


> Visited woodhill a few times... Seems a nice gaff


Really ???


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## laurie g (Nov 28, 2008)

Uk_mb said:


> NO FCUKIN WAY THATS TERRIBLE. SUGAR in it !!!!!! wow .


They use the sugar part dilluted- so it forms a sort of sticky burning gloop- the intention is i guess it hurts more- think of it as gorden ramsey napalm.

Peterbourogh prison and Hull prison for me.


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## Kennyken (Jun 20, 2011)

laurie g said:


> They use the sugar part dilluted- so it forms a sort of sticky burning gloop- the intention is i guess it hurts more- think of it as gorden ramsey napalm.
> 
> Peterbourogh prison and Hull prison for me.


I think he was being sarcastic mate lol


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## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

Anyone been in a Turkish prison? or watch films about Gladiators? :whistling:


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Kennyken:3179339 said:


> Really ???


Yes


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## Kennyken (Jun 20, 2011)

Breda said:


> Yes


Its quite a new prison I think


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## welbeck (Jul 23, 2010)

I did 2 months in 1999, 2 weeks in Leicester and 6 at North Sea Camp. Once I got over the shock of going down it was ok and when I was transferred to NSC I really enjoyed it. When I got there I was asked if I want to work on the farm which I didn't so I was put on cleaning, I volunteered to clean the TV room and spent all day doing that. 1 or 2 arsxxxxxs but on whole everybody was decent. I detoxed and lost 23lbs and came out fitter than I'd been for a long time.

A weird part of being in Leicester was there was a guy in there for murder, he'd done an armed robbery and thought someone had grassed on him and his accomplice so they kidnapped him and disembowelled him and dumped his body in a quarry, his accomplice fearing the worst graased him up in the hope of being cut a deal but he got life too. On meeting him he was just like everybody else which I found very unnerving, I don't know what I expected but if he'd had a tick or limp or evil stare then I would have found it more acceptible.

The only downer was I lost my job, I'd put in for redundancy and they'd used it as an excuse to sack me. I'd set up my own company with a couple of mates a couple of months before I went in so I went into that full time but I lost about £12,000 redundancy. When I was told I was losing my job it was like a trial, there must have been about 8 of them sat one side of a table and me and the union rep at the other. I just stood up and said "If you want to take a mans livelihood off him you'd better be prepared to suffer the consequences", brilliant to watch them all squirm in their seats, not one of them could look at me, I just chuckled and said "Wxxkers" as I walked out. I saw my former manager about 2 years later, he **** himself when he saw me I went up to him and said "I haven't forgot", I won't do anything but him looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life is enough.

I had to go back to court because I had a £700 fine to pay and ****ed into the magistrate asking what possible good did they think they'd done sending a "hardworking father with a young child to prison" and pointed out that I'd lost my job and was about to lose my house as I was unable to pay the mortgage ( I wasn't). he actually apologised and quashed my fine saying perhaps a non custodial sentence would have been more appropriate".

I now wouldn't be the least bit frightened to go back to prison, the threat is for worse than the actual time.


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## NorthernSoul (Nov 7, 2011)

Few over nighters, no biggey. Got kelloggs and cups of tea delivered to the door each time, better than what my mum ever does so i call that a success.


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## eezy1 (Dec 14, 2010)

few hours in a cell once before being let go. 1 good thing that came of it was they measured me that night and found out i was 6`2

i was chuffed


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Nope, never been found guilty.

Other than for drink driving.


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## Sharpiedj (Oct 24, 2011)

Smitch said:


> Nope, never been found guilty.
> 
> Other than for drink driving.


Bet your insurance was cheap after the unban ?

My mates went from 1k a year to 8k


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## Craig660 (Dec 8, 2005)

Smitch said:


> Nope, never been found guilty.
> 
> Other than for drink driving.


Good lad


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## bosha01 (Mar 12, 2012)

done a short stint inside in newzeland 3 months, not a nice place to say the least.


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

Went to do a service on some equipment, at Winson Green in Brum. When the door closed behind me, one of the wardens asked: 'Have you ever been inside a prison before?'

'No' I wimpered. 'Thought not' he said. It was terrifying, couldn't go to prison, I'd have to jump bail & go & live in South America.


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## Craig660 (Dec 8, 2005)

I know Milky has been inside for a few years


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## supermancss (Dec 2, 2008)

No I haven't Im a good boy  From storys Ive got from mates and aqaintences (spelling) its not particularly fun. Problem is when your the new one in your going to try be explioted. If you stand up for yourself and fight and win your gonna have someone else challenging you more than likely and you get stuck in a cycle. But then if you bend over and go for t he simple route your gonna be terrorised and stolen from. Hard to get a happy medium from what ive heard.

Sometimes it beggars belief, persistent criminals for theft and car thefts etc being put in the same cell as someone who does the same thing just from the next town/city along is asking for trouble upon release...

I would love to be a fly on the wall to see how it is, but would never want to be in prison. I imagine alot of people who think they are someone on the outside get a shock, especially young teens who get a taste for what 'hard men' are really like...


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## Tasty (Aug 28, 2007)

Visited quite a few, dad, brother, mates. Recently visited my boy in Surrey and he said it was quite nice but then they transferred him to Bristol which he said was ****. I could have gone down the same time as he did, we were caught up in the same thing at the time. I'm very ****ing lucky and I won't be doing any of it again! He's looking at 4-6 years.. I can't imagine losing that much time.


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## kingdale (Nov 2, 2010)

1 night in a cell for indecent exposure and a £80 fine thats all for me


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## Jcole83 (Apr 13, 2012)

Yep I have twice. It's **** mate, I done a year first term and 6 months the next. Waste of life.


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## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

supermancss said:


> No I haven't Im a good boy  From storys Ive got from mates and aqaintences (spelling) its not particularly fun. Problem is when your the new one in your going to try be explioted. If you stand up for yourself and fight and win your gonna have someone else challenging you more than likely and you get stuck in a cycle. But then if you bend over and go for t he simple route your gonna be terrorised and stolen from. Hard to get a happy medium from what ive heard.
> 
> Sometimes it beggars belief, persistent criminals for theft and car thefts etc being put in the same cell as someone who does the same thing just from the next town/city along is asking for trouble upon release...
> 
> I would love to be a fly on the wall to see how it is, but would never want to be in prison. I imagine alot of people who think they are someone on the outside get a shock, especially young teens who get a taste for what 'hard men' are really like...


this is exactly what my post earlier refered to, i think everyone has a misconception about what prison is like if you've never been.

none of what you said really reflects any of the time i've spent in jail but that being said the 3 times i was in jail was belmarsh which is right where i live so i knew a lot of people so maybe it was easier to just get on with it like it was normal life

the 3 times i was in jail was for silly fights i've had, i agree with all the waste of life/time comments but it's not something you really think about when you're inside, you just get on with the job of being in prison, maybe it's something you reflect upon after, i never have though, you either grow up and stop having stupid tear up or you don't, prison doesn't really reform anyone so once you're there you just get on with being there, luckily enough i fall into the catagory of someone who(mostly) grew out of having stupid rucks


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## 36-26 (Jun 30, 2009)

TG123 said:


> this is exactly what my post earlier refered to, i think everyone has a misconception about what prison is like if you've never been.
> 
> none of what you said really reflects any of the time i've spent in jail but that being said the 3 times i was in jail was belmarsh which is right where i live so i knew a lot of people so maybe it was easier to just get on with it like it was normal life
> 
> the 3 times i was in jail was for silly fights i've had, i agree with all the waste of life/time comments but it's not something you really think about when you're inside, you just get on with the job of being in prison, maybe it's something you reflect upon after, i never have though, you either grow up and stop having stupid tear up or you don't, prison doesn't really reform anyone so once you're there you just get on with being there, luckily enough i fall into the catagory of someone who(mostly) grew out of having stupid rucks


This is what I fear I'm a fairly decent law abiding type but if I got in a stupid fight I could end up in prison, I would be terrified of prison tbh and I won't deny its one of my biggest fears. Did you cause a lot of harm to the people you fought or something mate?


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## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

done 5-6 one nighters and once for 3days, escaped a sentence as lawyer argued that i had been accepted to uni so judge was sympathetic, although had a 3 suspended sentence and cant go to america etc now...put it all behind me though


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## Gorgeous_George (Apr 22, 2012)

not yet but i gotr go court soon so who knows lol


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## itsme1 (Dec 7, 2010)

My mates just come out and is on tag for 4 months and is living with us. It all depends what prison he said. The first one he was in was horrible locked up for 23 hours a day only time was allowed out was to go outside for 1 hour. But the second place he went was a cat d prison and they had their own key to their room and could come n go as they please. They had a top rate gym n swimming pool plus qualified fitness instructors as guards that took them through workouts.

So I guess if your looking at a stint inside try n find a cat d prison anywhere near you n try n convince them that it's hard for family to travel and that would be the best option n try n look as sorry for yourself as possible n hope for the best


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## guvnor82 (Oct 23, 2011)

nope live pretty boring life.

done one day in cells when i was younger 4 fighting.


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## s&amp;ccoach (May 18, 2011)

I'm actually sat in my cell now, just got my phone out to see if I had any pm's.

Got a bit of sweetcorn stuck to my screen.

Best go bang up in 15 and gotta plug this phone back up my a$$.


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## Tassotti (Feb 27, 2011)

itsme1 said:


> My mates just come out and is on tag for 4 months and is living with us. It all depends what prison he said. The first one he was in was horrible locked up for 23 hours a day only time was allowed out was to go outside for 1 hour. But the second place he went was a cat d prison and they had their own key to their room and could come n go as they please. They had a top rate gym n swimming pool plus qualified fitness instructors as guards that took them through workouts.
> 
> So I guess if your looking at a stint inside try n find a cat d prison anywhere near you n try n convince them that it's hard for family to travel and that would be the best option n try n look as sorry for yourself as possible n hope for the best


I'm not sure you get a choice. What next. Prison reviews online, pick the one you fancy..lol


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## Brutal1 (Jan 25, 2011)

Never done time, been on remand a few times though, done 3 days a couple of months ago infact........fcukin hated it


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## Robbie (Dec 31, 2007)

I did, 3 times in one night. Bloody monopoly.


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## husky (Jan 31, 2010)

never liked the idea to be honest, was of the opinion that prison was a punishment but seems to be far from it nowadays -a key to your own cell wtf-no wonder the re offending rates are so high-no deterrent.


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## johnny_lee (Jun 15, 2011)

s&ccoach said:


> I'm actually sat in my cell now, just got my phone out to see if I had any pm's.
> 
> Got a bit of sweetcorn stuck to my screen.
> 
> Best go bang up in 15 and gotta plug this phone back up my a$$.


yould be surprised how many phones are actually using mobiles inside along with lots of other illegal things


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## brandon91 (Jul 4, 2011)

i have, nothing im proud of.

got sentenced to 3 years served 18 months, 15 months in adult jail and 3 in young offenders

also all the people who say its too easy and have never been really have no perspective on the situation and only talk from the hearsay they've been told

also, depending on the jail theres tonnes of mobiles and pretty much an drug you could ever want. Nap 50's are in mega demand in jail


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## SATANSEVILTWIN (Feb 22, 2012)

Speedway said:


> I would hate to be locked up, could not even begin to imagine what it feels like to get a big sentence, say 10 years or more. Did spend a week or two in the guardhouse when I was in the army, bloody awful that was.


being penguin marched about with no laces in your boots:laugh:


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## itsme1 (Dec 7, 2010)

I know it's not like a hotel resignation n you pick but sometimes if you have family which are disabled or can't drive if you get a good judge and your crime isn't too serious you can request a transfer once sentence is passed and they look in to it for you.


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## Guest (Jun 6, 2012)

Did 7 months out of a 2 year sentence. Was a joke in this country, had an xbox and a freeview box and got carpentry qualifications and CNC machining, 2 years for posession of a few E pills...and there was lads in there with less time for mugging old ladies.

Also did a bit of time in county jail in the US, nearly got transferred to a scary as fock jail but my Mum bailed me out just in time, that was for firearms charges and attempted murder but it all got dropped.


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## Speedway (Nov 25, 2011)

SATANSEVILTWIN said:


> being penguin marched about with no laces in your boots:laugh:


Yes that's it lol, also learn to eat really quickly and polish the floor.


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## Guest (Jun 6, 2012)

no.

But there is still time.


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## johnny_lee (Jun 15, 2011)

tbh im looking at more than a few months 2 weeks today


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## Dorian Gray (Dec 5, 2011)

No thk fvck! A god few of the lads have though.

Prison over here is shiit! In the bigest prison in dublin the lads still have to **** in buckets which stay in the cell until they are full. Then they have to slop out them selfs. The smell does be unbearable


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## Lewy_h (Jan 4, 2012)

FrankDangerMaus said:


> Did 7 months out of a 2 year sentence. Was a joke in this country, had an xbox and a freeview box and got carpentry qualifications and CNC machining, 2 years for posession of a few E pills...and there was lads in there with less time for mugging old ladies.
> 
> Also did a bit of time in county jail in the US, nearly got transferred to a scary as fock jail but my Mum bailed me out just in time, that was for firearms charges and attempted murder but it all got dropped.


How manys a few e's mate just out of curiosity


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

FrankDangerMaus said:


> Did 7 months out of a 2 year sentence. Was a joke in this country, had an xbox and a freeview box and got carpentry qualifications and CNC machining, 2 years for posession of a few E pills...and there was lads in there with less time for mugging old ladies.
> 
> Also did a bit of time in county jail in the US, nearly got transferred to a scary as fock jail but my Mum bailed me out just in time, that was for firearms charges and attempted murder but it all got dropped.


seems tempting i cant afford to go to college / feed myself. this looks like a good second option tbh.


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## Sub-Zero (May 2, 2011)

Spent a few nights in the cells, but never been to prison thankfully.


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## Pain2Gain (Feb 28, 2012)

Yes a few times biggest one was 5yrs 8months of which I actually served 4yrs got out in 07 and sortEd my **** out haven't been back since so I must be doing something right... Now


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## Nidge (Jan 22, 2007)

Kennyken said:


> Just something I was wondering as I'm bored, ill and in bed on holiday
> 
> How long was it for also?


I did a 4 stretch knocked down to 18 month on appeal back in the 80's for GBH with intent. Someone robbed my sisters house, I found out who they were and went to their house. They had my sisters TV on show in the living room until I dropped the guy to the floor then dropped the telly on his head. I'm older and wiser now. Even though jails are a walk in the park to what they were back in the 80's I still wouldn't give up my liberty for no fcuker.


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## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

36-26 said:


> Did you cause a lot of harm to the people you fought or something mate?


no one who wasn't out looking for the same thing tbh, most of the tear ups i've had have been stupid ones, mostly when drunk but we'd never go out looking for a ruck for the sake of it, but the gaffs i used to go to there's was always rucks you couldn't really avoid it, there was a period of my life where i found myself at the front of those rucks a lot of the times, a lot of my pals now are in their 30's and still are at the front of the same stuipid friday night tear ups that we used to go out and have when we was 18 years old, madness.

i was in jail on remand as recently as last year but the case got dropped, it was for a fight i had with some bloke drunk when i was sober minding my own bussiness and he just wouldn't leave me alone, i hit him then hit him maybe a couple more times than i should've, when i went to court i got remanded because of my history so i suppose even now you pay for the things you do ealier in life, can't say i felt hard done by even though i was in the right and eventually it got dropped but for every ruck i got caught for the were dozens i didnt so i can't complain, i felt a bit indignant that i hadn't had any problems for years though and then something like this comes along outside of your control and i'm remanded because of fights i had 8-10 years ago.

the flip side of that is i was on the wrong end of many a drunken tear up, been glassed, stabbed, done with a baseballbat etc, all of which i probably deserved.

I don't think i ever really caused that much harm to anyone but i had quite a few convictions for common assault, affray, stupid stuff and they let it slide for a while then they just have enough, if it's a small thing i think they're reluctent to send you to jail for the first time if they can help it but once you've been once they don't dont batter an eyelid about sending you again, i did a year for gbh which i was really lucky not to get a lot more but there was a basis of plea entered of excessive self defense which outlined what had happend and the prosecution accepted the version and it was submitted to the judge that my guilty plea was on the basis that that version of events was accepted by the prosecution, i was looking at 3 or 4 years otherwise, i feel bad for that now because i know the guys face is scarred a bit


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## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

Nidge said:


> I did a 4 stretch knocked down to 18 month on appeal back in the 80's for GBH with intent. Someone robbed my sisters house, I found out who they were and went to their house. They had my sisters TV on show in the living room until I dropped the guy to the floor then dropped the telly on his head. I'm older and wiser now. Even though jails are a walk in the park to what they were back in the 80's I still wouldn't give up my liberty for no fcuker.


thats what mine was gbh with intent, which i think is section 18, the less serious one is gbh section 21 which is what mine got reduced to, sounds like you had a right result getting it reduced to 18 months, i know someone who got 8 years for gbh section 18


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## Nidge (Jan 22, 2007)

TG123 said:


> thats what mine was gbh with intent, which i think is section 18, the less serious one is gbh section 21 which is what mine got reduced to, sounds like you had a right result getting it reduced to 18 months, i know someone who got 8 years for gbh section 18


I just got on with it and got me head down, I was in North Sea Camp in near Boston, that was a sh!thole.


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

Kennyken said:


> Thought there would be a few more on here tbh


What because of all the wild claims about what they'd do if......


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## Guest (Jun 7, 2012)

gycraig said:


> seems tempting i cant afford to go to college / feed myself. this looks like a good second option tbh.


Yeah there were lads in there who'd grown up sniffing glue, born to crack whore mothers and they said prison was better than outside.

Mad, and very sad.

I realised during that time that I was an absolute tit for being in there and stayed out of trouble for good, these lads had no choice, I did.


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## pdiddy (May 11, 2012)

Did 14 months out of a 3 stretch for cannabis. Kept my head down and got in the gym as often as I could, I think it made me a better person. Prison in the UK are neither hell holes nor holiday camps, regardless of what you might read in the paper.


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## supermancss (Dec 2, 2008)

Found out yesturday that my old neighbour, I thought was around mid 40's, short, stocky, kind funny guy... wasnt quite that..

Apparently his wife told Police that he'd started smoking weed and went crazy. He smashed her one in the face, broke her nose.. then jumped out the top bedroom window, broke his leg.. hobbled into a house accross the road and locked the doors. The woman who lived there had no idea what was going on, he smashed her house up.. got her car keys. Then went back out to drive off in her car, the woman who was locked in the house came out to say stop please..

This is the unbelievable part, he turned around and literally beat her almost to death.. he broke her cheek bone, both eye sockets, collar bone, few ribs, chipped vertibre and then was rolling around on the floor in the middle of the street screaming and kicking out...

Now I dont think all that is cannabis? When I heard I couldn't believe it, If i hadnt have moved I would have heard it and gone out. And more than likely gone over to help the woman, but what if I had and then he went nuts and attacked me too? If im fighting him (none of the 2 women were) he could have reacted even worse? Scary thoughts.

Dont think he has any previous, not recent stuff anyway! GBH with Intent, false imprisonment, ABH and what else the courts will try.. I think he might be going away for a while, possibly into a secure unit... :s


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## Craig660 (Dec 8, 2005)

I got pulled over in my company car, but had a fire arm under the seat. Before I got pulled over I managed to put this down my trouser belt.

The police said my number plate was damaged and then went on to search the car. They didnt find anything obviously and then asked if minded if they tap me down, I knew this was make of break so shot the police officer and have this day never been caught for it.

Made me realise I needed to grow up and to this day have never carried anything again


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## Guest (Jun 7, 2012)

Craig660 said:


> I got pulled over in my company car, but had a fire arm under the seat. Before I got pulled over I put this down my belt.
> 
> The police said I had my number plate was damaged and then went on to search the car. They didnt find anything obviously and then said do I mind if they tap me down, I knew this was make of break so shot the police and have this day never been caught for it


Sounds like the kind of story a certain other member here would tell haha


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

Been nicked a few times for being a **** but never got anything more than a fine. I know lots off people inside though. One of my mates went in a little fat guy and came out a year later huge and shredded to feck


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## NorthernSoul (Nov 7, 2011)

Lmao craig, who wouldn't of done the same in your position!


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## Diegouru (Oct 31, 2010)

Spent nights in police stations few times back in the day, (football fights, proper pr**k!)

One of my best mates been in jail for 3 years in Uruguay, South America for drug dealing. He said that it was a focking nightmare every single day, had to pay a lot of money to other inmates just to be able to sleep at night, got hepatitis, even saw 7 different murders while in prison.


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## Hayesy (Aug 15, 2011)

Boot Camp for a month lol


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## Craig660 (Dec 8, 2005)

FrankDangerMaus said:


> Sounds like the kind of story a certain other member here would tell haha


Which member ?


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## Aaron20 (Feb 16, 2012)

Thought I would be in court once. Cheeky skinny c*nt giving me **** driving though town when I was on a night out so I went kicked the car side window through and dragged him out. 20 secs later 2 police cars come and cuff me. Didn't even get put in a cell just had to pay damages!


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## welbeck (Jul 23, 2010)

husky said:


> never liked the idea to be honest, was of the opinion that prison was a punishment but seems to be far from it nowadays -a key to your own cell wtf-no wonder the re offending rates are so high-no deterrent.


My honest opinion is that prisons serves only one purpose and that is to take undesirable out of society


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## bulldogge (Jul 2, 2011)

yes, i used to be a complete cnut...

i have done time in,

feltham

portland

gloucester

swansea

wandsworth

scrubs

highdown

brixton

bellmarsh

thankfully all that sh!t is behind me now, wasted to many years in prison and am never going back....


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## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

welbeck said:


> My honest opinion is that prisons serves only one purpose and that is to take undesirable out of society


it's an amalgamation of reasons, to rehabilitate, to punish and to protect the public


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## welbeck (Jul 23, 2010)

TG123 said:


> it's an amalgamation of reasons, to rehabilitate, to punish and to protect the public


I wasn't talking about a reason for sending people to prison I was stating it is the only purpose it serves. I went in 1999 and when I was released I committed more crime than I care to admit, made a fortune and hit the proceeds behind a legitimate business, I'd still be at it now if a friend of mine hadn't got greedy and ended up getting 6 years and almost dragged me down with him by association. I went to court 9 times, made out I was seriously ill and got 180 hour community service which I attended twice and got quashed due to ill health.


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## Jay.32 (Dec 12, 2008)

bulldogge said:


> yes, i used to be a complete cnut...
> 
> i have done time in,
> 
> ...


fckin ell... it you must of loved it inside:lol:


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## Tasty (Aug 28, 2007)

welbeck said:


> I wasn't talking about a reason for sending people to prison I was stating it is the only purpose it serves. I went in 1999 and when I was released I committed more crime than I care to admit, made a fortune and hit the proceeds behind a legitimate business, I'd still be at it now if a friend of mine hadn't got greedy and ended up getting 6 years and almost dragged me down with him by association. I went to court 9 times, made out I was seriously ill and got 180 hour community service which I attended twice and got quashed due to ill health.


I'm so happy for you


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## bulldogge (Jul 2, 2011)

Jay.32 said:


> fckin ell... it you must of loved it inside:lol:


lol nah, just did a a couple of long sentances that got me shifted about a fair bit :lol:


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## Patsy (Mar 14, 2008)

Milky done a 5 stretch before he joined ukm honestly, wonder if they did a crb check on him before they made him a mod?


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## Pain2Gain (Feb 28, 2012)

bulldogge said:


> lol nah, just did a a couple of long sentances that got me shifted about a fair bit :lol:


All aboard the ghost train!


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## johnny_lee (Jun 15, 2011)

Ive today received a letter from the courts telling me i have to appear to exaplain why i havent paid a number of fines i will probally only get 14 days in jail but tbh there fine will still be there unpaid and they will be spending money to keep me and feed me so i could not really care i will win they wont


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## Guest (Jun 7, 2012)

johnny_lee said:


> Ive today received a letter from the courts telling me i have to appear to exaplain why i havent paid a number of fines i will probally only get 14 days in jail but tbh there fine will still be there unpaid and they will be spending money to keep me and feed me so i could not really care i will win they wont


I paid the fine I had but refused the victim surcharge as mine was for possession of a single 9mm round that I'd accidentally brought with me when I moved from the US - it was in a drawer in a cabinet how the fock was I to know! There was no victim, so I refused the victim surcharge and never heard a thing about it.

Mind you next time I'm pulled over I'll prob be nicked haha.


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## johnny_lee (Jun 15, 2011)

FrankDangerMaus said:


> I paid the fine I had but refused the victim surcharge as mine was for possession of a single 9mm round that I'd accidentally brought with me when I moved from the US - it was in a drawer in a cabinet how the fock was I to know! There was no victim, so I refused the victim surcharge and never heard a thing about it.
> 
> Mind you next time I'm pulled over I'll prob be nicked haha.


i told them straight im not paying your victim charge as there was no victim and im not paying anyfine ever so if you want to jail me do it now and waste your time and your money so they gave me a bull**** story of everyone gets the victim surcharge even if theres no victim and you can pay 40 pound a month for 6 months to clear your debt or pay it all upfront i said im not paying for a single penny of it so dont waste your time asking me and that was that ive had speeding fines parking fines diffrent car fines for years and never bin my life payed one to many people suck up to authority just coause they dont think they will get away with it belive me try it on and you will get rid of it


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## Celtic20 (Jun 12, 2012)

For those of you who have been inside what advice would you give to somebody going in for the first time? I am 20 and am in court next month and expecting 4 - 5 years. I never thought I would be the type of person who would end up in prison but I did something very stupid and have to pay for it. I'm the only person in my family who has been in trouble with the police and don't know anybody who has been in prison. I've heard all the stories but don't really know what to expect and am worried I am going to stand out inside. I can handle myself OK and have been doing some training but I'm only 5'7. Solicitor said I would go to Young Offenders first and get transferred when I am 21 - how does Young Offenders compare to 'adult' prison?


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## Mr Zed (Sep 9, 2011)

My training partner went in for 3 years in December. Will do 18 months. I think I can honestly say I've never been so upset and missing a mate. Like I've lost my brother. When he's out though the weights will know all about it lol.


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## Diegouru (Oct 31, 2010)

Celtic20 said:


> For those of you who have been inside what advice would you give to somebody going in for the first time? I am 20 and am in court next month and expecting 4 - 5 years. I never thought I would be the type of person who would end up in prison but I did something very stupid and have to pay for it. I'm the only person in my family who has been in trouble with the police and don't know anybody who has been in prison. I've heard all the stories but don't really know what to expect and am worried I am going to stand out inside. I can handle myself OK and have been doing some training but I'm only 5'7. Solicitor said I would go to Young Offenders first and get transferred when I am 21 - how does Young Offenders compare to 'adult' prison?


Can we know the reason of why you going to prison?


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## biglbs (Jan 26, 2012)

johnny_lee said:


> yes briefly for unpayment of court fines not an easy thing but i can cope with it Lots of people get bullied for there belongings like **** shower gels and food but if you stand your ground they will leave you alone well i certanly got left alone still havent and wont pay the fine so if they want to chuck me in jail for another week and cost themselves more money there welcome to as i can cope with it


Ok glad you do not mind then


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## s&amp;ccoach (May 18, 2011)

Celtic20 said:


> For those of you who have been inside what advice would you give to somebody going in for the first time? I am 20 and am in court next month and expecting 4 - 5 years. I never thought I would be the type of person who would end up in prison but I did something very stupid and have to pay for it. I'm the only person in my family who has been in trouble with the police and don't know anybody who has been in prison. I've heard all the stories but don't really know what to expect and am worried I am going to stand out inside. I can handle myself OK and have been doing some training but I'm only 5'7. Solicitor said I would go to Young Offenders first and get transferred when I am 21 - how does Young Offenders compare to 'adult' prison?


That is a big sentence for first offence,

I'm guessing firearms or big drugs haul or abh.


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## s&amp;ccoach (May 18, 2011)

Celtic20 said:


> For those of you who have been inside what advice would you give to somebody going in for the first time? I am 20 and am in court next month and expecting 4 - 5 years. I never thought I would be the type of person who would end up in prison but I did something very stupid and have to pay for it. I'm the only person in my family who has been in trouble with the police and don't know anybody who has been in prison. I've heard all the stories but don't really know what to expect and am worried I am going to stand out inside. I can handle myself OK and have been doing some training but I'm only 5'7. Solicitor said I would go to Young Offenders first and get transferred when I am 21 - how does Young Offenders compare to 'adult' prison?


Young offenders is generally tougher physically as you have a load of teenagers out to prove themselves so tends to be more violent. However they have more stuff going on to pass the time eg sport and education.

After yo's you may find prison a tad easier less idiots wanting a tear up time may pass slower as the work they offer is ****e and education is pants unless you can't read.

Get yourself a playstation 2, and all the gym sessions you can time will pass.

Make the most if your visits family and friends etc but remember its as tough for them as it is for you.

If you can learn a trade get qualified and have some prospects when your out.


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## DiamondDixie (Oct 17, 2009)

biglbs said:


> Ok glad you do not mind then


It's more like a family holiday


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## MattGriff (Aug 21, 2012)

Not a gay Civvi one where life is a luxury.


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## Oztrix (Jun 12, 2012)

Been close, but I thank god that I'm alive and not in prison. Girlfriends dad is a prison officer, by the story's he has told me it don't sound too appealing.


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## mygym-mytemple (Jun 8, 2012)

Don't look anyone in the eyes and be nice to the maintenance staff


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## Celtic20 (Jun 12, 2012)

Diegouru said:


> Can we know the reason of why you going to prison?


Don't think I should say - ashamed of what I did.



s&ccoach said:


> Young offenders is generally tougher physically as you have a load of teenagers out to prove themselves so tends to be more violent. However they have more stuff going on to pass the time eg sport and education.
> 
> After yo's you may find prison a tad easier less idiots wanting a tear up time may pass slower as the work they offer is ****e and education is pants unless you can't read.
> 
> ...


Thanks. You said that in Young Offenders you get to do more things. Do you know roughly how long you normally spend in your cell locked up?

What type of work do you get to do? I know I would prefer to be doing something to pass the time. I was in college up to all this happened and was making plans about travelling and what I was going to do but now I have this instead. That's part of what I was saying about standing out - I don't know if there will be many people like me in there.

I might sound soft but I know how bad my family are taking it. I've heard my Mum crying at night and it kills me. There was a bit in the paper when I was charged first and I thought that everybody was talking about me and didn't really go out. I split up with my girlfriend too and thinking of what it is going to be like is the only thing on my mind. Sometimes I think it is worse having it hanging over me and hopefully it mightn't be as bad as I think. I'm lucky that my family are there and that I have some good mates around. I might have done something else if they weren't around.

I've been on the prisons website and saw a lot there but still want to find out from people who know themselves. Just am thinking about a few things that somebody might know. Do they put people in for the same crimes and about the same age in together or can you end up in a cell with anyone? Is there a big split between blacks/whites or is that only in the movies? Are you allowed much of your own stuff in there? Can you wear your own clothes or is it prison clothes? Can you smoke - especially in Young Offenders - know it's stupid wondering about that but wasn't allowed smoke at all when I was in the cells at the police station when I got nicked?


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## chickenlegs (Nov 2, 2011)

I've only been to prison once, and that was on a work experience placement for the day at HMP Nottingham. Spent most of the day in the lifers wing, some serious nutcase fruit loops in there i swear. Put me off ever returning there, for work or otherwise.


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## brandon91 (Jul 4, 2011)

Celtic20 said:


> Thanks. You said that in Young Offenders you get to do more things. Do you know roughly how long you normally spend in your cell locked up?
> 
> What type of work do you get to do? I know I would prefer to be doing something to pass the time. I was in college up to all this happened and was making plans about travelling and what I was going to do but now I have this instead. That's part of what I was saying about standing out - I don't know if there will be many people like me in there.
> 
> ...


i got out of young offenders about 13 months ago mate, the whole 'you get to do more in YOI's' is totally dependant on where you are and the screws mood for the day, i got less gym, less association, and less food in young offenders and the jail in general was scabbier and rougher.

if you get your pick of the jobs go into the kitchens if you want the best pay, but youll have to sacrifice gym sessions. or go part time education, get paid 2 quid a week and get more gym.

ill answer your questions best i can

- the same crimes thing doesnt happen, a shoplifter could be in with a murderer

- youll be in a cell with someone aged 18-21 (if i was you refuse to double up and say you'll attack your cellmate, you'll be put down as high risk and get a single)

- the racism thing is only american jails, mostly your area will stick together (mancs with mancs scousers with scousers etc) but generally you chill with whoever you like, the gym lads chill together, the bagheads chill together etc

- you can smoke since your a young offender and not a juvie

- i dont know what you mean by your own stuff, as for your own clothes. depends on the jail and your reward level (basic, standard, enhanced) that depends on behavior


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## Celtic20 (Jun 12, 2012)

Thanks for the answers - good to hear from somebody there recent.

Were you ****tin' it going in or were OK? Some way to celebrate your 21st getting transferred from young offenders - what was it like going from being one of the oldest to being one of the youngest when you got transferred? Did you get into or see many fights?


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## brandon91 (Jul 4, 2011)

Celtic20 said:


> Thanks for the answers - good to hear from somebody there recent.
> 
> Were you ****tin' it going in or were OK? Some way to celebrate your 21st getting transferred from young offenders - what was it like going from being one of the oldest to being one of the youngest when you got transferred? Did you get into or see many fights?


it was backwards with me mate, i went to an adult jail (i was the youngest lad in there just turned 18) because it was dispersal unit for young offenders and a jail for adults, where your all on the same wing but only adults can share cells with adults and YO's with other YO's etc but i did my best to stay there instead of getting shipped out. i stayed in adult jail for 15 months till i was 19 then i did some thing that got me removed from that jail, by the time i got to young offenders i was about 3.5 stone heavier and knew the score so i wasnt afraid but anyone who tells you they werent scared on there first day is a liar !

i got lucky because the older blokes showed me the ropes and taught me how it is so i was well clued up by the time i got to a proper rough **** YOI, ive seen plenty of fights mate, but ive seen just as many out in the land of the free  people fight everywhere except in jail you get the odd few who do it for kicks and to make a name for themselves

you'll be alright as long as you stick up for yourself, best piece of advice i got when i first went in is 'if someone trys to take the **** just leather them, the screws will be on you before any damage is really done', and thats the truth mate its all over within 20 seconds and you've been twisted up and put back in your cell so dont be afraid to fight if you have too but if you go in there with a decent head on you i doubt youll have any fights at all, the consequences outweigh the benefits when it comes to fighting in jail.


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## Celtic20 (Jun 12, 2012)

Sorry for all the questions man but you know what your talking about



brandon91 said:


> i got out of young offenders about 13 months ago mate, the whole 'you get to do more in YOI's' is totally dependant on where you are and the screws mood for the day, i got less gym, less association, and less food in young offenders and the jail in general was scabbier and rougher.
> 
> if you get your pick of the jobs go into the kitchens if you want the best pay, but youll have to sacrifice gym sessions. or go part time education, get paid 2 quid a week and get more gym.
> 
> ...


Just on the jobs - when you go in do you end up with the ****tiest jobs and then end up getting a better one like the kitchens. Think that would be OK - what was the food like?

I did A Levels 2 years ago. When you say education would I be able to do more A Levels or even some OU course or would they just take the **** for me wanting to do that?

If I was out of the cell working or doing courses think I'd prefer a single cell. Would doing what you say really get you one? Did you have a single cell or if you shared did you get on Ok with the other lads with you?

When I said my own stuff meant books, DVDs, CDs and trainers, tops, gym stuff all that.

I know you get an allowance in there each week - think I saw £15. What do you have to buy out of that - is that for your smokes, snacks, paper? Do you have to buy shower stuff, phone cards out of that too? It doesn't seem like much. Can you get extra money sent in or have some stuff brought in by visitors (smokes, shower stuff)



brandon91 said:


> it was backwards with me mate, i went to an adult jail (i was the youngest lad in there just turned 18) because it was dispersal unit for young offenders and a jail for adults, where your all on the same wing but only adults can share cells with adults and YO's with other YO's etc but i did my best to stay there instead of getting shipped out. i stayed in adult jail for 15 months till i was 19 then i did some thing that got me removed from that jail, by the time i got to young offenders i was about 3.5 stone heavier and knew the score so i wasnt afraid but anyone who tells you they werent scared on there first day is a liar !
> 
> i got lucky because the older blokes showed me the ropes and taught me how it is so i was well clued up by the time i got to a proper rough **** YOI, ive seen plenty of fights mate, but ive seen just as many out in the land of the free  people fight everywhere except in jail you get the odd few who do it for kicks and to make a name for themselves
> 
> you'll be alright as long as you stick up for yourself, best piece of advice i got when i first went in is 'if someone trys to take the **** just leather them, the screws will be on you before any damage is really done', and thats the truth mate its all over within 20 seconds and you've been twisted up and put back in your cell so dont be afraid to fight if you have too but if you go in there with a decent head on you i doubt youll have any fights at all, the consequences outweigh the benefits when it comes to fighting in jail.


Thought everybody under 21 went to Young Offenders - shows how much I know! Must have been good arriving in YOI after doing the 15 months in the adult nick and people knowing where you'd been. Is that what normally happens if you get into bother - they send you off somewhere else?

Yeah I know there will be fights with loads of lads in together - like you said look around town at the weekend. I think I can handle myself OK but this will be all new fo rme and am not looking for trouble but you gotta stick up for yourself. What do you mean by 'twisted up'?


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## s&amp;ccoach (May 18, 2011)

Celtic20 said:


> Thanks for the answers - good to hear from somebody there recent.
> 
> Were you ****tin' it going in or were OK? Some way to celebrate your 21st getting transferred from young offenders - what was it like going from being one of the oldest to being one of the youngest when you got transferred? Did you get into or see many fights?


Not sure about yo's but in jail they have whats known as the vp wing, vulnerable prisoners. This is for prisoners who would not be able associate with other criminals ie rapists, sex offences etc. basically your there for your own protection.


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## mygym-mytemple (Jun 8, 2012)

i've been in prison for 9 years and still going. But then i work in prison and no not as a screw!

All depends what jail/yoi you get there all different. Some more to do than others, like has been said most fights over in seconds.


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## Guest (Jun 14, 2012)

If you quit smoking while you're inside you'll prob be the only non smoker and get a single room.

That's what I did and I was the only non smoker on my wing, so single room :thumb:

twisted up means grabbed by the screws and put on the floor - usually with ur arms behind ur back lol


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## s&amp;ccoach (May 18, 2011)

FrankDangerMaus said:


> If you quit smoking while you're inside you'll prob be the only non smoker and get a single room.
> 
> That's what I did and I was the only non smoker on my wing, so single room :thumb:
> 
> twisted up means grabbed by the screws and put on the floor - usually with ur arms behind ur back lol


Single room did it have a sea view as well!


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## Guest (Jun 14, 2012)

s&ccoach said:


> Single room did it have a sea view as well!


Had a lovely view of a nearby cell block


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

I got locked up for assaulting a old woman in a walking chair , but hell what could i do ? I mean she would not give me her purse & tazering her had no effect on old bones so i finally broke out the crowbar and hit her in her stomach with the blunt end (im no monster after all) Then she politely gave me her purse before i smashed her walker into bits since professional crime takes modesty & professional curtesy and all  Next thing iknow the police were at my door calling me a violent offender when all i tried to do was make a living & give the old woman a snog ? Hmmmm strange.


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## laurie g (Nov 28, 2008)

^ hmm that is a little sick to be honest


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## zack amin (Mar 13, 2012)

^^^ +1


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## brandon91 (Jul 4, 2011)

Celtic20 said:


> Sorry for all the questions man but you know what your talking about
> 
> Just on the jobs - when you go in do you end up with the ****tiest jobs and then end up getting a better one like the kitchens. Think that would be OK - what was the food like?
> 
> ...


you get asked what job you'd prefer and if its available you should get it, if not youll get a ****ty one like making jeans or bedsheets for other prisons untill you can put in an app to change after 3 months

if you want more of an education go for it mate, some form of education (maybe once a week) is usually mandatory in the YO's regardless of your job. nobodys gonna take the ****

going down as high risk will get you a single cell yes mate, wish i would have done it earlier. when i was in adult nick i had a single because i was on enhanced (good behavior) but i doubled up in there when i was on different wings and not enhanced. I went in YO's and got doubled up but the kid was a **** so i put up with him for a week but then we clashed and he asked to move and i got put in a single and they never asked me to double up again. ive had some great cellmates who i was ****ed off to leave because we had a laugh but then again ive had nobheads who think there 10 men and then some. single is nice and you can w*nk whenever you want !

i never seen anyone with a DVD player inside, i met 3 people in total who had a ps2 because they brought it from another jail, CD's you have to buy your own from the prison catalogue and books have to be ordered by you or your family and delivered direct from amazon (or whichever store the prison uses) to prevent tampering. certain jails you have to buy your own trainers etc out of saved wages and others they can be handed in on visits totally dependant on where you are mate. youll probably be wearing HMP clothing so i wouldnt worry about tops etc just make sure they fit you before you take em back to your cell !

that allowance will be £15 on standard and goes up to £25 on enhanced, plus your wages (kitchen wage is 10 pound) your on 35 quid a week to spend on everything you need (shower gels, tobacco, extra food, protein if your jail allows it, phone credit and stamps) the allowance comes from visitors and the wage is from the jail and nope visitors cant bring smokes or anything of the sort

i thought only YO's could go to YOI's myself mate at first but certain jails hold both now, not all jails let them mingle but the one i went did.

twisted up just means restrained so you cant fight/struggle


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

laurie g said:


> ^ hmm that is a little sick to be honest


LOL it was a joke :lol: Sarcasm written all over it  You honestly believe i would be sick enough to do something like that?  Hahaha


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## zack amin (Mar 13, 2012)

dont get bum****ed you might enjoy it <--- best advice youll ever recieve


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## Mitch. (Jul 26, 2011)

I've played rugby against prison inmates.

Quite funny when you talk ****e to them during the whole match and they can't do a thing.


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

infernal0988 said:


> LOL it was a joke :lol: Sarcasm written all over it  You honestly believe i would be sick enough to do something like that?  Hahaha


Hilarious


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## laurie g (Nov 28, 2008)

infernal0988 said:


> LOL it was a joke :lol: Sarcasm written all over it  You honestly believe i would be sick enough to do something like that?  Hahaha


Duh- of course not, well hope not- just a little too much thought and description went into thinking above a depraving act on a vulnerable person


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## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

s&ccoach said:


> Not sure about yo's but in jail they have whats known as the vp wing, vulnerable prisoners. This is for prisoners who would not be able associate with other criminals ie rapists, sex offences etc. basically your there for your own protection.


i don't mean this in an out of order way but just from reading celtics posts and how he comes across that's where he'll be going

celtic you seem to have a few ideas about young offenders institutes and normal jail but your perceptions are upside down, young offenders institutes are 10 x worse than normal jail, i've been to belmarsh 3 times and during that whole time i think i saw 2 fights, one of the polititest places i've ever been to, everyone's in it together mostly, the skagheads have a few scaps amongstthemself over drugs but nothing major, on the whole in an adult prison averyone just gets there head down and gets on with doing there own thing and as long as you're not a muppet you can interact with people as much as you want or just doss in your cell if you want to be left alone and people will just leave you to it.

i've never been to a young offenders institute but know a ton of people who have, some of them loved it because the loved the rucks, whenthe cameras get steamed up in the showers so the guards can't see then everyone sorts there tear ups out but of the more sensible people i know that wernt complete lunatics everyone of them that had been to both jails prefered adult jail over young offenders institute.

I'm glad that i never went to a young offenders institute tbh, i dont mind a ruck but adult prison is just so much more laid back, as long as you're not a complete doughnut and just crack on and do you're own thing you're not going to get any bother whereas you put the most violnet criminalised under 21's in a gaff together there not really looking to just keep there heads down get on with the sentence, everyone has to prove themselfs etc and you get a ton of ruck bullying etc etc,


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## Guest (Jun 14, 2012)

Feltham was a rough YOI but I also went to Glen Parva and if you wanted to keep your head down you could, though I did have about 4 fights but I started one with a bully the first week.


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

laurie g said:


> Duh- of course not, well hope not- just a little too much thought and description went into thinking above a depraving act on a vulnerable person


Actually i just read a guy in spain done that to a woman , actually did it now thats horrible :wacko:


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## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

FrankDangerMaus said:


> Feltham was a rough YOI but I also went to Glen Parva and if you wanted to keep your head down you could, though I did have about 4 fights but I started one with a bully the first week.


feltham is where most of the people i know went to, like i said ive only been to belmarsh so cant make the comparrison but nearly everyone i know who has been to both said belmarsh was a piece of p1ss compared to feltham, although as far as young offeners institutes go feltham is supposedly pretty bad


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## Guest (Jun 14, 2012)

TG123 said:


> feltham is where most of the people i know went to, like i said ive only been to belmarsh so cant make the comparrison but nearly everyone i know who has been to both said belmarsh was a piece of p1ss compared to feltham, although as far as young offeners institutes go feltham is supposedly pretty bad


yeah feltham they'rea ll on remand so fighting all the time etc. and they're scum lol


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## Fat (Jan 2, 2010)

feltham is where the goons are at


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## brandon91 (Jul 4, 2011)

TG123 said:


> i don't mean this in an out of order way but just from reading celtics posts and how he comes across that's where he'll be going


celtic , dont ever even consider the VP wing, your not a nonce and youll be branded as one if you ever go on there !


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

not really...i got banged up for a week when i was in the forces for being a bit naughty.

prizz looks sh1te - my cuz did 9 for chopping someone up badly with a bowie knife and i listened to him when he was out.....and i idolised him....he's been out ever since


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## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

brandon91 said:


> celtic , dont ever even consider the VP wing, your not a nonce and youll be branded as one if you ever go on there !


some people don't have a choice, if someone's just proper getting terrorized the screws will put him there

and like i said i didn't mean to be out of order because i don't know celtic but an a-level student with no previous and how he's come across in his posts seems like he's probably not gonna last long in general population

you're looking at it from you're angle, you came from an adult jail, you don't mind having a ruck etc etc and you're advising someone with celtics disposition, a college kid with no previous not to go on the muppet wing, fwiw i completely agree, i'd rather top myself than go on the fraggle wing but from the kind of guy he going into a young offenders institute for the first time i doubt it'll be very long before he's moved there without being given the choice


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## Gridlock1436114498 (Nov 11, 2004)

Never been on the wrong side of the law but my rugby team did used to be in the same league ad HMP The Mount. We used to go there for away games, it was quite a laugh with all the cons banging on the fences and shouting they were going to **** us up, it was just funny because they couldn't get to us and you feel invincible when you are with your team. The team we played wad half prisoners half guards the prisoners were all really well behaved but the guards were dirty cheatingbastards


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## Guest (Jun 14, 2012)

Tbf even in YOI the proper fraggles got left alone, the ones who had problems were the gob****es who wouldn't stop talking about how hard they were/what gangsters they were.

there was a few quiet college kids who'd fvcked up and just kept to themselves and no one hassled em for the most part.


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## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

FrankDangerMaus said:


> Tbf even in YOI the proper fraggles got left alone, the ones who had problems were the gob****es who wouldn't stop talking about how hard they were/what gangsters they were.
> 
> there was a few quiet college kids who'd fvcked up and just kept to themselves and no one hassled em for the most part.


I hope that's the case for celtic

i've seen people in jail just getting terrorized and even if they don't say anything the screws will move them anyway


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## s&amp;ccoach (May 18, 2011)

I'm led to believe that in yoi's there is so much attitude that people are looking to prove themselves and be top dog.

Teenagers these days all have a chip on their shoulder and it's magnified in that environment.

I remember playing 5 a side in prison it really was prison rules body checks, elbows it was awesome.

We were meant to have a training session with Warrington wolves as they wanted to offer those who excelled a chance to play when released. I got released a week before they came in, playing union at semi pro I was hoping to give it a go.


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## Ragingagain (Sep 4, 2010)

i know a lad who went in for a week for hitting a copper... he was quite linked up tho, so for him it was an absolute rave.... i hate the thought of it i dont think i can imagine how people would survive,, or is that only the movies ? lol


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## Guest (Jun 14, 2012)

Like a Boss said:


> i know a lad who went in for a week for hitting a copper... he was quite linked up tho, so for him it was an absolute rave.... i hate the thought of it i dont think i can imagine how people would survive,, or is that only the movies ? lol


only in foreign prisons mate UK ones are never that bad


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## Mighty.Panda (Oct 5, 2011)

Arent there 4 kinds of prisons in the UK or at least "wings" like ABCD? Surely if you're doing time for something that wasnt your fault and you're in the lowest like D you wouldnt see any murderers?


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## Guest (Jun 14, 2012)

Mighty.Panda said:


> Arent there 4 kinds of prisons in the UK or at least "wings" like ABCD? Surely if you're doing time for something that wasnt your fault and you're in the lowest like D you wouldnt see any murderers?


Nah cuz closer to release they get moved to lower security ones


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## Twisted (Oct 6, 2010)

I did Six years on many different units and wings......

As a Prison Officer met some famous Lags and met some great people staff and inmates alike.

Met some utter Cnuts too staff and Inmates alike. Could have happily strangled some of the cons knowing what they had done.


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## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

Mighty.Panda said:


> Arent there 4 kinds of prisons in the UK or at least "wings" like ABCD? Surely if you're doing time for something that wasnt your fault and you're in the lowest like D you wouldnt see any murderers?


that how it was in belmarsh, C was where everyone goes when you first get in, sometimes you just stay there too, B was a bit more serious, A was people doing life etc and D was all sorts, I liked A everyone was sensible, all doing serious bird so just cracking on with it

a lot of people are on remand and you get moved about a lot, first night i ever spent in jail i was in a cell with a bloke who was doing 28 days for affray and a bloke who'd been moved from another prison who was on remand for murder.

they don't seem to stick that stringently to the ABCD thing, they give you a little book when you get in there explaining what the wings are and who goes where but the screws don't seem to stick to it, you get moved about without any explination, a lot of the time i'm sure its just to fcuk you about but they're so overcrowded it was supposed to be illiegal to have 3 blokes in a cell but that got scrapped and a lot of times i know that they had to turn down the vans bringing prisoners from court because their was literally no room so i suppose they might move you about just trying to fit everyoine in, gets on your nerves though


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## Jeebo (May 19, 2012)

Currently a serving officer. 6 years in. Not as bad as people make out, tho I get to go home at night lol. Most the action happens when officers arent around. Get on with most cons. They just wanae do there time.


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## brandon91 (Jul 4, 2011)

TG123 said:


> some people don't have a choice, if someone's just proper getting terrorized the screws will put him there
> 
> and like i said i didn't mean to be out of order because i don't know celtic but an a-level student with no previous and how he's come across in his posts seems like he's probably not gonna last long in general population
> 
> you're looking at it from you're angle, you came from an adult jail, you don't mind having a ruck etc etc and you're advising someone with celtics disposition, a college kid with no previous not to go on the muppet wing, fwiw i completely agree, i'd rather top myself than go on the fraggle wing but from the kind of guy he going into a young offenders institute for the first time i doubt it'll be very long before he's moved there without being given the choice


i've never heard of involuntary moves to the nonce wing ? i thought they had to sign a pact saying they wouldnt bang the nonces out before they were allowed on the VP's

doesnt matter anyway, i'd rather be swilled with **** and **** everyday than go that route. its a condemmed life.


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## Jonsey (Sep 10, 2009)

recently got out,, big mistake,,, ive learned from my mistakes!!!


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## lucs (Apr 8, 2011)

Short time In dore county jail in the USA, none in the UK no criminal record here at all, not a good way to extend a holiday not recommended, nice orange suit and shoes felt like a right clown


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## yannyboy (Jun 20, 2009)

franki3 said:


> Will be if I ever bump into certain person!


Yeah, and I'll be following you into the adjoining cell mate, lol


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## Hendrix (Sep 16, 2009)

Only local cells for drunk and dis few years ago. Made it worse by spitting in a coppers face. I was adrinking alco lunatic then. Lot nicer sober guy these days.


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## doggy (Mar 26, 2011)

Twisted said:


> I did Six years on many different units and wings......
> 
> As a Prison Officer met some famous Lags and met some great people staff and inmates alike.
> 
> Met some utter Cnuts too staff and Inmates alike. Could have happily strangled some of the cons knowing what they had done.


How do you switch off at home from all the horrible people you see daily?

I recently heard about a child killer on a day release, trying to get on a course. how can the teachers work with him or treat him the same?


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## Wi11 (Apr 10, 2012)

Dorchester and guys marsh for me. Only cat c so not exactly hard place to live, had a bit of a laugh and made some contacts but wouldnt wanna give up my freedom again for nobody...


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## Replicator (Apr 4, 2009)

I got 50 years for littering..........Im fair chuffed coz I get out on Friday and ive only done half ma sentence :wacko:


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## Pain2Gain (Feb 28, 2012)

Replicator said:


> I got 50 years for littering..........Im fair chuffed coz I get out on Friday and ive only done half ma sentence :wacko:


Don't joke about that I'm currently in process of been jailed for dropping a cigarette end by a jumped up cso that was using a cash point on duty! I **** you not £30 fine they wanted, like feck then upto £300 when I told the magistrate to warm me bed up I'm not paying a penny they thought I was joking so I'm on a campaign to see if I can actually get locked up for the most rediculous 'crime' ever and the biggest waste of tax money in history.


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## laurie g (Nov 28, 2008)

^ technically it is littering and is a disgusting habit, *** butts all over the floor is not particularly noce- fair play on the plastic pig. you should have just paid 30 quid to be honest


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

Pain2Gain said:


> Don't joke about that I'm currently in process of been jailed for dropping a cigarette end by a jumped up cso that was using a cash point on duty! I **** you not £30 fine they wanted, like feck then upto £300 when I told the magistrate to warm me bed up I'm not paying a penny they thought I was joking so I'm on a campaign to see if I can actually get locked up for the most rediculous 'crime' ever and the biggest waste of tax money in history.


Really hope you don't go to prison. But I'm sure that I read somewhere that 12% of women in prison are there for non payment of tv licence.

You've got legal advice, havn't you? Good luck!


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## jamster85 (Aug 1, 2011)

Sharpiedj said:


> Bet your insurance was cheap after the unban ?
> 
> My mates went from 1k a year to 8k


my lil bro lost his license for drink driving, took out a telephone box and some poor old couples living room wall! got banned for 18 months!, got his liscence back and his insurance was 6k! within 3 months he had been pulled for a break light out, only he had been drinkin! and is still banned now! that was 3 years ago, he has a year left! id hate to see his insurance when he is driving again! it they will insure him lol dosey lil C**T


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## Gridlock1436114498 (Nov 11, 2004)

jamster85 said:


> my lil bro lost his license for drink driving, took out a telephone box and some poor old couples living room wall! got banned for 18 months!, got his liscence back and his insurance was 6k! within 3 months he had been pulled for a break light out, only he had been drinkin! and is still banned now! that was 3 years ago, he has a year left! id hate to see his insurance when he is driving again! it they will insure him lol dosey lil C**T


Can't understand how he escaped prison for that. For the sake of everyone else that has to use the roads/pavements I hope they won't insure him.


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## jamster85 (Aug 1, 2011)

Gridlock said:


> Can't understand how he escaped prison for that. For the sake of everyone else that has to use the roads/pavements I hope they won't insure him.


he had like 200 hours community service mate! and yea i hope so too! my mum sent him to live with his dad to try n get him off the drink so much! big mistake sendin him to aberdean! he now drinks whiskey like a fish! lol he says he prob wont get a car until he is in his 30s coz he dont need 1 livin in the city


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## KenAdams (Feb 10, 2012)

Pain2Gain said:


> Don't joke about that I'm currently in process of been jailed for dropping a cigarette end by a jumped up cso that was using a cash point on duty! I **** you not £30 fine they wanted, like feck then upto £300 when I told the magistrate to warm me bed up I'm not paying a penny they thought I was joking so I'm on a campaign to see if I can actually get locked up for the most rediculous 'crime' ever and the biggest waste of tax money in history.


I hate messy street just becuase somebody is too lazy to use a bin. Prison is a waste of tax payers money for the crime you've commited. I'd like to see you out for a few hundered hours of community payback, cleaning the streets you happily make dirty.

As for me I've done a bit of bird in HMP Bristol (sh*t pit), Guys Marsh (not too bad) and Leyhill (quite nice really, pick your qualification time). I found the thought of going to prison worse than actually being there.

To the chap looking for advice, keep your head down. Don't make friends with skag heads or 'bad boys', don't be rude to them but don't engage too much with them. You'll find a lot of average guys on the wing so just seek them out and be polite. When you're new in you won't have much at first (toothbrush, soap, cereal etc). If any other inmate offers to lend you something, politely decline. If you accept it you're always going to owe him something and have a tie to him. Try to avoid trouble but if somebody insults you or is rude just fly at them. Don't get into a stand off, just let rip. Screws will break it up within 30 seconds so you won't get battered and people will know not to push you again. Don't take anything of value in, that include trainers and expensive clothes.


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## jamster85 (Aug 1, 2011)

pain2gain!! give up smokin mate and u would hav that problem in future!!:laugh:


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## Gridlock1436114498 (Nov 11, 2004)

jamster85 said:


> he had like 200 hours community service mate! and yea i hope so too! my mum sent him to live with his dad to try n get him off the drink so much! big mistake sendin him to aberdean! he now drinks whiskey like a fish! lol he says he prob wont get a car until he is in his 30s coz he dont need 1 livin in the city


Lol, whisky town.


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