# I'm in pieces....



## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

I've just left my wife and kids and I don't know why other than the fact I'm deeply unhappy!

I've got everything I ever wanted, wife,2 lovely girls 10 and 8, big house, dogs car the lot...

I don't know what the ****s the matter with me

Sorry just needed to say something


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## stevo99 (Nov 28, 2008)

man sorry to hear that

have you been on a cycle at all recently or been using anything than can cause depressions etc??


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## Suprakill4 (Jul 11, 2008)

bigbob33 said:


> I've just left my wife and kids and I don't know why other than the fact I'm deeply unhappy!
> 
> I've got everything I ever wanted, wife,2 lovely girls 10 and 8, big house, dogs car the lot...
> 
> ...


Well that makes sense....... Your unhappy with what??????

I hope you seriously thought this through because i think you have probably just caused a hell of alot of upset...


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## Beklet (May 13, 2005)

Why are you unhappy, if it's all you ever wanted?

Not being an ar5e, just wondering


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## leveret (Jun 13, 2007)

man up.

life is about being happy... will be rough but you and the family will get through it...


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

I really don't know what's wrong, I haven't slept properly for over a week, feel sick all the time and can't stop crying! I just want to hide somewhere


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## joe.b (Sep 26, 2009)

**** mate,you maybe just need time to step back and look at life and the good things you have,think we all go through rough patches that we cant explain,just one of lifes mysteries i think.

a few days away from things will do you the world of good,recharge the old batteries and assess things with a clear head,chin up buddy


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## Paul85 (Mar 1, 2010)

Sorry to hear that bud maybe something specific has been dwelling for some time? I may be way off the mark here matey but I would get yourself to the Doc's and have a good chat and get evaluated for depression and so on.

Only thing I can say is you seem a very fortunate bloke to have the things you have that many others long for just be very careful not to push the ones you love to far.

Chin up bud :thumbup1:


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## skellan (Nov 15, 2009)

I think it would be better if you gave some cycle details as it sounds very much like hormone related issues. Just a thought but chin up anyway mate


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## Ser (Aug 10, 2008)

How long have you been unhappy for?~ I assume it not just this week...if its a long term thing then i do NOT think you have made the wrong decision.....if you not happy then do not stay, it means everyone(you included) can start to rebuild a life where they/you ARE happy!


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## Suprakill4 (Jul 11, 2008)

bigbob33 said:


> I really don't know what's wrong, I haven't slept properly for over a week, feel sick all the time and can't stop crying! I just want to hide somewhere


dont you think a trip to the docs would be the best idea? Maybe get a full hormone panel done from blood tests (think thats what it is)......

What did you say to the wife and kids?? Was this expected or have things been ok between you and this is all of a sudden. If so, i think you need to speak to them....


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## Greyphantom (Oct 23, 2003)

Hi Mate... sorry to hear this is the way its gone... but as above I think you need to find out why youre unhappy... if its not the wife and kids then it must be something else (yeah I know real no brainer but sometimes you need to be hit with the obvious)... perhaps talking with someone (a professional) will help find the problem and then you can work on it...


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## hackskii (Jul 27, 2003)

On the other thread there was a list of supplements that might help with mood.

My wife is like that, she cant put her finger on it.

That is sad when you dont know or understand what is happening to you.


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## YetiMan1436114545 (Dec 7, 2007)

Very sorry to hear mate. I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now. I lost a part of me when I broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years so can imagine how hard it is for you.


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

call NHS direct mate NOW

Then get to a mate or some family - don't be alone, and see your GP ASAP


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## CJ (Apr 24, 2006)

sorry to hear this mate,

I hope you get things resolved one way or another.

If not for yourself, get youself sorted for ya kids. My dad walk out on me and my bro the same age as your girls. I'm 33 and will remember that day til I die.


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## RedKola (Nov 27, 2008)

Yeah, agree completely with Urinal, please go to someone you trust, they will help you get through this.

Has this just been a recent thing?


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## CoffeeFiend (Aug 31, 2010)

Seems theres a few of these kinds of threads about today, personally i like seeing macho guys swallowing their pride and admitting their only human, we can all go through some pretty depressing stages, asking for helps the smartest thing you can do.

Try and lay off the drink man and youll get through it so much faster, get away from them for a while and take some time to figure out why youve stepped away. Theyll want you back and will forgive.


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## Dazza (Aug 7, 2010)

If you're in a cycle like the others say get a panel asap

Either way you have a lot of thinking to do, so best of luck


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

I'm off to stay with my mum and dad tonight..... Bit fking sad at 36 years old


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

As for cycle, I haven't come off for a long time, just blast and cruise...


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## RedKola (Nov 27, 2008)

bigbob33 said:


> I'm off to stay with my mum and dad tonight..... Bit fking sad at 36 years old


It's not sad, sometimes you just need your own space to think things through. You should def make an appointment ASAP with docs though.


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## chrisj22 (Mar 22, 2006)

Bob,

I remember you putting a thread up about money issues?? Has that got some impact on the way you feel?

You were saying you were struggling to pay bills etc.

Don't be alone, get to other family members/mates and open up to them.

Don't just curl up in a ball and try to get through it.

You need support mate.


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## WILD_AMAZON1 (Jul 4, 2008)

Sorry to hear you're struggling Bigbob. If you are really feeling all of those things and you don't know where they have come from maybe you should see your Doctor - I know loads of people see them as a pain in the backside but they can also be pretty amazing sometimes. If you're not sure what is wrong they may be able to ask the right questions to help figure out if it is a mental/emotional or physical problem.

Don't feel ashamed or like you should be able to cope better or generally put yourself down, most of us go through times when life is a bit much to deal with and our emotions are bigger than we are - I hope you manage to get everything sorted


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## Suprakill4 (Jul 11, 2008)

bigbob33 said:


> I'm off to stay with my mum and dad tonight..... Bit fking sad at 36 years old


Nah not sad. You need to answer peoples question on here though if you want to try and make any sense of it, any help, to talk about it etc......

How long have you been unhappy, how long have you thought of leaving or was it spare of the moment.


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## Dazza (Aug 7, 2010)

So what was the exact cause, can i assume it was a number of things?


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Cheers guys, appreciate your time and kindness!

Rob


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## IanStu (Apr 12, 2009)

Bob.....maybe you just need a break from them, I feel like that some times. I guess you're gonna spend the night thinking, hopefully you'll decide you have to much to lose and sort things out with your wife, the most important thing in all this is your kids, think about them and then decide what to do.

Realy feel for you mate hope you get through it.


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

I thought my mrs didn't love me, hard stuff to cope with but I've never seen her cry like I did earlier... Makes me feel like even more of a ****

My kids weren't there when I left, they were still at school.

I'll try the docs tommorrow work can fk off for a day


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## Ash1981 (Jun 16, 2009)

bob, heed some advice from whats written under your OWN profile name mate...........


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## Maximum sports (Feb 6, 2010)

The worlds most pefect creations take time to build, work on, nurture and love. Just like a relationship. Life is testing mate, sometimes life is **** but you have a family that needs you. My life, and marrage has had so many ups and downs, with kids, show prep, work finaces. You name it.

Without my Mrs + Kids i woudnt be who i am, thats why i know the grass will never be greener and will go thro anything, for me, for my wife and for my kids. Ride the storm brother, dont be another statistic.


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## cellmore (Aug 26, 2008)

Really sorry to hear how you are feeling mate and hope you can get some help from the doc's. Youve got friends on here you can talk to - will pm you. All the best.


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## CJ (Apr 24, 2006)

leveret said:


> man up.
> 
> life is about being happy... will be rough but you and the family will get through it...


What the fvck does that even mean ???


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Just wanted to say thanks for the pm's, there are some very kind people on here...


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## Ser (Aug 10, 2008)

Could all of the people saying go back please stop and think for a moment...i don't think he just thought 'oh, i'm gonna leave them today' out of nowhere, when you got kids you don't just do it like that! Obviously this has been ongoing for a while. He SHOULDN'T think of the kids when making his decision, he should think logically about whether the relationship *should *be saved. If not, then it wouldn't be good to think of the kids as he will go back...and they will spot all the things that things ain't right etc.

Sadly, me and Bri are BETTER when we NOT together, already Lauren is doing better in school, things are better between her mammy and daddy as the resentment isn't there anymore, my mam and dad were better off apart too, my life would have been worse if they had stayed together for us(the kids) They fekkin hated each other for a while before they split, and it was a horrid situ for us (the kids) to live in! No one wants their kids to come from a 'broken home' but sometimes thats the best option! Takes a while to get your head around it, but when you do you realise it was the best thing to happen

Sometimes you just know its over, that no amount of working at it will fix it, sometimes you just don't want to fix it, sometimes you want to fix it and the other person doesn't, sometimes you are just so used to being together, sometimes...sometimes its BETTER off apart.........hard as that may be to get used to, it happens and you do get used to it,you are happier for it, she is happier for it, your kids are happier for it, doing better in school for being happier at home(s) etc.

BigBob....back at mams is AWESOME, washing done, cooking done, mammies like to fuss:thumbup1: :thumbup1: :thumbup1: My mam says i can't go back, i have been asking to for years, mainly since i first moved out:lol:


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Mate l have done the same thing myself in the past, I will no doubt get flamed here but l felt the gear was doing my thinking and my actions were completely irrational.

My only problem was l realised to late to change it.

If your on a cylcle ffs STOP rite now and just try and chill the fu*k out.

Were all here to listen mate as l found when l needed to turn to someone a bit back.


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## Bettyboo (Jun 8, 2009)

Hey hun hope you get things sorted, but I agree with Mrs Weeman, go back for you not the children's sake if thats what you decide to do. Go somewhere where you can chill and go docs to see if they can help you out with a few things. Good Luck x


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## BB_999 (Feb 20, 2006)

gemilky69 said:


> Mate l have done the same thing myself in the past, I will no doubt get flamed here but l felt the gear was doing my thinking and my actions were completely irrational.
> 
> My only problem was l realised to late to change it.
> 
> ...


Totally agree with this, stop all gear and have a good clear out, your hormone levels are probably all over the place.

Gear is good but it's not so good that it's worth throwing your entire life away for. You even say yourself you don't know why you've done it, that tells me your hormones are having an adverse influence on your decisions.

Hope you get it sorted soon mate.


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## Rob68 (Sep 16, 2008)

Kind of a bit what Ser said....i left a relationship cos i wasnt happy at all,it was my own doing,and it was making the home a miserable place for all....

Sh1t did it hurt....but it needed to be done for us to move on and be happy......

my sons 10 now,great kid love him to bits......

but the only thing that does nag me,is the pain i put them through when i left......yeah still upsets me when i think of it....

i see my lad every other w.end,but talk and txt everyday.....

Some times its `cruel to be kind`.....if thats the right thing to say?

good luck bob...hope everything works out.....


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Cheers again folks


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## Matt 1 (May 8, 2010)

A family member of mine suffers from depression.. I really think you should get tested, sorry to hear, hope it all works out for you 

Best of luck


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## BillC (Jun 11, 2009)

gemilky69 said:


> Mate l have done the same thing myself in the past, I will no doubt get flamed here but l felt the gear was doing my thinking and my actions were completely irrational.
> 
> My only problem was l realised to late to change it.
> 
> ...


Going to agree here, being on does do silly things to the mind. The convincing yourself that your wife no longer loves you, then finding out you've got it wrong as she's mortified that you've left her.

I wouldn't drop ebverything as you'll get even worse emotionally, slowly come off. That use to be the way anyway, tapering off, to stop hormonal dips and troughs.

I walked out on my wife and kids before Xmas during pct and bit the bullet and went back. Irrational thinking, spoiling for an argument, not thinking straight.

I read somewhere that mens happiness is hormonal whereas womens hapiness is psycological, ansd I have to agree. Mrs Wee does make a good case for not going back but reading between the lines, you're crying out for helpand realise you've made a mistake.

Arrange to meet your wife for some dinner tommorrow, no kids no one lese and talk things out. Maybe you're both unhappy and do need to split but you should at least try to work it out.

Best of luck, and sort yourself out.


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## skellan (Nov 15, 2009)

Completely agree with Bill on this, gear makes some strange decisions seem completely right but they aren`t because it isn`t the real YOU. My advice would be to come off, go back home and go PCT if required, ride the storm. Then make a rational decision if after 6 months or so you feel the same. So many relationships are destroyed on irrational thinking.


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## Craig660 (Dec 8, 2005)

Yep,

Gear did play with my mind alot and led to me making a mistake with my (ex)missus.

Not saying it defo is that but it could be a possibility to consider


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## gooner fc (Feb 7, 2009)

gemilky69 said:


> Mate l have done the same thing myself in the past, I will no doubt get flamed here but l felt the gear was doing my thinking and my actions were completely irrational.
> 
> My only problem was l realised to late to change it.
> 
> ...


x2 try and relax go on a mega post cycle, sure some of the experience members will help you.

Hope you sort yourself out soon as :beer:


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## Brewwy (Sep 22, 2010)

Buddy, I may not have been on here long but I know just how bad it can get, only a week and half ago did the police have to smash my front door in for my own good, Talking to the right people professionals and those that care (not those who say snap out of it) get you through it. Its only because of my problems in my own life have I decided to take up training again to give me a goal to aim towards.

If you wanna chat with a stranger who knows how low it can get and knows not to judge, pm me. Oh and don't drink, I went on a 9 day bender and it made everything a whole lot worse!


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## Haimer (Sep 1, 2008)

Do what's right by you bro.

Give yourself some time & space and decide what you want - these things make us stronger! Take care bro.


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

We all need a break now and again to remember who we are.. Don't be too hard on yourself pal.. See the situ as a wee hicup.. Blame it on a mid life crisis...reevaluate what u want from life, think about all the good stuff and sort out the crap... Ur wife will understand if you open up and talk to her.. U never know she might be feeling the same as you do at the mo...we all deserve to be happy pal...


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## Musashi (Oct 21, 2009)

I can only echo the good things that have been said already by the kind people here.

Mate you have shown courage by stating your feelings which is more than a lot of men are able to do. Stay strong mush and never stop talking!

Mind how you go.


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

I've just phoned my boss, told him I need a few days off. Doctors tommorrow and see what comes of that... Plus a bit of distance from the mrs, try to get my head straight! Maybe I do need to leave for her sake as well as mine.... I'll just have to figure it out


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

I'm not old enough for a midlife crisis.....

Oh wait....


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## Ser (Aug 10, 2008)

don't try to find all the answers at once sweetie, start with these few days off and the doctors appointment. Keep your wife informed. Take it one day at a time......x


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## Mikazagreat (Apr 10, 2009)

I will be realistic and maybe helpfull i hope during this post i won't be posting some nice words.

Well this is me another guy busted with choronic depression, some ppl says it's brain chemistry related, yeah $hit like that i am into bro no matter what i do i seem not to be happy anymore, i buy stuff car/motorbike go around the world, don't have kids but that's not what could be makin me sad, have a g.f and everything is allright.

Thing is i think because i have done too much for my age i reached that point where u feel it's a bit pointless, but i manage to distract myself away from it so i won't take the medication way.

Be mentally strong man, put more efforts into something u enjoy like bodybuilding maybe another sport, try to add in some fun to ur life maybe it's the routine, i just keep jumping form a hobby to another to help me find something i enjoy, if u don't ride motorbikes go get urself one, maybe try some crazy **** sky diving courses, get a vacation abroad with ur wife and kids, keep on tryin to find things that u enjoy and it will keep u away from this boredom thoughts that might be depressing you.


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

If you can afford it mate l think a family holiday would be a fu**ing good idea personally.


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Wish I could afford it mate...


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

I've got the docs in a couple of hours and I'm really worried what he's going to say...


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## Suprakill4 (Jul 11, 2008)

bigbob33 said:


> I've got the docs in a couple of hours and I'm really worried what he's going to say...


Why, you should be really interested in finding out whats the problem so you can sort it ASAP. Good luck.


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Bob, you'll be fine mate, stay strong, get the docs, he will only help you, everyone here is supporting you......


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## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

bigbob33 said:


> I've got the docs in a couple of hours and I'm really worried what he's going to say...


i know its easier said than done but dont worry about what hes going say, find out what he does say and then deal with it then,

all the best mate.


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## WILD_AMAZON1 (Jul 4, 2008)

Try not to be too worried - also if you think you'll get there and not want to talk write down all of the things that are bothering you like mood, sleep patterns, how you are physically feeling, things that you might be worried about like money, relationship with wife etc.


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Cheers guys, just phoned my wife to say I needed to talk and she told me to fk off as I'm the one that walked out not her! I'm the one with the problem and she's not going to help....


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Just realised what a whining cnt I sound like..... Sorry


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## God (Sep 3, 2009)

Best of luck with sorting your situation out mate. It's understandable she's reacted like that. Try to see it from her point of view as well and when the times right speak to her alone away from the kids. PM sent.


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## lordgeorge (Jun 30, 2010)

Good luck with whatever you decide to do mate, sure you'll pull through ok in the end!


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## Greyphantom (Oct 23, 2003)

Dont worry about it Rob... be open and honest and make sure he/she gets you some help... good luck mate and we are here for you...


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## Nidge (Jan 22, 2007)

bigbob33 said:


> Just realised what a whining cnt I sound like..... Sorry


Dunna be stupid mate, some of us have been there and got the T shirt we know how you feel.

Just PM'd you mate.


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Cheers for the pm's guys... Never realised how many kind and supportive people there are here, more kind words than I've heard in a long time

Thankyou all


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## Greyphantom (Oct 23, 2003)

bigbob33 said:


> Just realised what a whining cnt I sound like..... Sorry


You big dopey tattooed son of a gun, not whiny at all mate... been there done that and got the t shirt... your wife is probably shocked, p!ssed off and confused... first reaction is bound to be lashing out... just get your head sorted mate, see the doc, then get onto someone who can help you sort your problems out... you know where I am if you need anything mate...


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## Ser (Aug 10, 2008)

If you can't have a good old whine here...then where can you have one?

Hang tight for the doc appointment, you will find that most docs will be very helpful and understanding.

Maybe you should let the wife calm down a little as its all a bit new and raw for her...she WILL calm down, don't get into a slanging match with her, remain calm, yesterday she didn't want you to go, today she has gotten to the angry stage...that WILL subside.

Right now, concentrate on YOU babe.

Hugs

x


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Once again, thanks ser! If ever we meet the drinks are on me


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

I certainly couldn't comment in whether you've done the right thing as I don't know the full details. A few of my thoughts are:


Is your seperation final or a break whilst you sort your head out?

If the cause of unhappiness isn't because there's something wrong in your relationship maybe turning to your partner for support may help? And even, in the long run, strengthen your relationship?

If there is something in your relationship causing unhappiness but you don't want to lose her, maybe consider relationship counselling?

Also, as others have said, maybe you are experiencing depression, in which case I think it would be good to see a GP and hopefully gain support from your partner?


I hope you sort things out


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

:confused1:How'd it go at the docs?


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## Ser (Aug 10, 2008)

bigbob33 said:


> Once again, thanks ser! If ever we meet the drinks are on me


You do realise i can drink Greg Kovac's weight in voddy? That could be expensive! Tell you what, i'd settle for A drink.......and maybe a bum pic


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## Proposition Joe (Aug 11, 2010)

I don't know what to suggest BigBob, but I didn't want to read and run.

I'm sure peeps here are much more informed on mood swings etc than me, but I'd recommend some MACA root powder.

It did wonders for me whilst suffering mild depression and it's great for energy/extra push.

Hope you and wifey resolve this asap as the girls would suffer without you matey.

All the best


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Ser said:


> You do realise i can drink Greg Kovac's weight in voddy? That could be expensive! Tell you what, i'd settle for A drink.......*and maybe a bum pic*


I bet it's hairy. :laugh:


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Tbh, it is! Off to the docs in 10, I'll update when I get back...


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## Little Ron (Aug 10, 2010)

Sorry for coming into this thread late. I was going to reply last night but most has already been said.

I hope the docs goes OK and that your honest with him. You might think that the docs will blame gear straight away but mine defended it when I was shooting blanks. As with alot of others on here I have been through it all too and looking back I was depressed but I just muddled through as you tend to do. Things came right in the end.

You have done the right thing by getting some help and I hope it all works out for you pal. Your wife will come around when you explain things to her. I expect she hasn't a clue whats going on in your head and in her eyes you've just abandoned her and your child. If she loves you, like I'm sure she does, then she will help you through. Take all the help from people thats offered.

Good luck and if writing your feelings on here helps then do it!! Stop worrying so much about what a bunch of strangers thinks.


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## cult (Nov 7, 2009)

ive no real advice for you but good luck.


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Full on depresion apparently, I've got tablets.... Either I'm really handsome or I'm worse than I thought, she wants to see me Friday and gave me her phone number if I really can't cope!

No room at my mums tonight so I'll be sleeping in the car! Got to laugh


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

bigbob33 said:


> Full on depresion apparently, I've got tablets.... Either I'm really handsome or I'm worse than I thought, she wants to see me Friday and gave me her phone number if I really can't cope!
> 
> No room at my mums tonight so I'll be sleeping in the car! Got to laugh


Good man, start the recovery now and let your wife and kids know - maybe they are worried about you bob. Glad you did this mate:thumbup1:


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## Little Ron (Aug 10, 2010)

Do you not have anywhere else to go tonight?? Sleeping in your car is going to do nothing to lift your spirits!


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## hackskii (Jul 27, 2003)

Smitch said:


> I bet it's hairy. :laugh:


Someone say something about hair? :lol:


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

The car things only for tonight, it'll be ok I'm sure


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## Dazzaemm2k7 (Aug 10, 2010)

bigbob33 said:


> I really don't know what's wrong, I haven't slept properly for over a week, feel sick all the time and can't stop crying! I just want to hide somewhere


wtf mate :confused1: :confused1:

sounds like you need serious SERIOUS help ! councelling etc !

best of luck mate, hope everything works out ok for you.


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

\ said:


> What medication have they gave you Bob ?? (if you dont mind me asking)


Citalopram whatever that is...


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## BillC (Jun 11, 2009)

Check yourself into a Premier Inn that way you can look forward to A) a good nights sleeps and B) full monty breakfast for a fiver in the morning. Sleeping in a car wwill do you no favours. Room only Weston supermare £39.


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Cheers bill didn't think of that


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## BillC (Jun 11, 2009)

It's what I did !! Everything looks better after a good nights sleep followed by sausage and fried eggs.


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

It's not the first time but it is the worst! Normally I just get really angry...


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## Matt 1 (May 8, 2010)

You've done the right thing going to see the Doc, however painful it is!

Now your diagnosed, you can start to take action to overcome it, thats good right?

In my experience, its up's and down, but generally over time you become less depressed, hard to explain..

Believe it or not, its the stronger people who get depression.. where most people would give up and give, the stronger ones, bite their tounge and carry on, untill something just twigs and you get a chemical imbalance..aka depression

Hope you can try and sort things between your family, just be totally honest is my advice


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Just booked a b&b £15 bit of a ****hole but it's got a bed!


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## Greyphantom (Oct 23, 2003)

Good man going to the docs... but def tell the wife whats going on even if she wont want to hear it... communication is now the key mate... good luck with it all and hope the road to recovery is a good one..


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## Rosko (Oct 15, 2007)

Sorry to hear the this Bob, my 2 pence for what its worth!

First off, well done for going to the docs, you are now under way in trying to deal with your feelings rather than bottling them up and then exploding. You can only get better from here on in. :thumbup1:

Don't know the ins and outs of why you feel the way you do, sh!t, not even sure you can explain it bud, but as has been said a couple of times, i think you need to let your missus know whats going on in your head.

Let her know you don't quite understand what is happening, or why, but you want to fix it, and hopefully she can help you through it - thats assuming you want to stay together.

I take it she knows you do gear?! Come off it, have a detox so to speak, tell her thats what your doing, you need help getting your head straight.

Think about it, whats more important, the family you have worked so hard to have, or steroids and the gym? No comparison! (not saying steroids are the cause of the depression but they are probably affecting things somehow - hormones and emotions are pretty close)

Whatever you deceide, i hope you get well soon mate! :beer:


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

bigbob33 said:


> Citalopram whatever that is...


Its an anti depressant / sleeping tablet mate :thumbup1:


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## Robsta (Oct 2, 2005)

I feel for you dude and hope things sort out...

but.....on a side note....can I have the car plz...


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## The Project (Jul 21, 2007)

Good on you for going to the Docs! Take every day as it comes. This is the start of a new day now, you have done the hard part. Your wife and you will work it out if that is what you both want, but you have kids and they need there dad no matter what people say. The kids love there dad and dad has done the right thing.....he is on the road to recovery. I wish you all the best for the future my freind!


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## Mark W H (Jan 25, 2010)

Mid life crisis? Been on about it on the radio this morning. Causes some to go out a buy a motorbike or a sportscar, but for others its quite a downer and results in splits and divorce.


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Just went to try and see the mrs but she lost the plot and hit me repeatedly  good thing the kids weren't there....

Not sure I could go back even if I want to, might have totally fked things up fir good


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## Suprakill4 (Jul 11, 2008)

bigbob33 said:


> Just went to try and see the mrs but she lost the plot and hit me repeatedly  good thing the kids weren't there....
> 
> Not sure I could go back even if I want to, might have totally fked things up fir good


 ]

Can you blame her mate??

Sure she will come around, i think it may be in the best interest to give her some time out. I personally, would right her a letter and post it through the letterbox explaining everythign to her if she wont talk to you.

Providing thats you do want to go back to her that is.....


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

No I can't blame her....


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

bigbob33 said:


> No I can't blame her....


write her aletter or email mate - pour out everything to her - it's easier to get it all out without the face to face element and just let her know what is going on.....she can also read it back a few times.

Keep at it mate, she's used to you being in control of yourself - you are not well at the moment.

If you had cancer - would she throw a wobbly? NO, same thing you are unwell


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

She will be angry at first mate, just try and stay calm yourself.

Don't convince yourself everything is lost, she will calm down.


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## Lou (Jul 27, 2008)

bigbob33 said:


> I really don't know what's wrong, I haven't slept properly for over a week, feel sick all the time and can't stop crying! I just want to hide somewhere


Believe it or not and I speak from experience - this sounds like a nervous breakdown go to your doctor immediately and get yourself sorted, it won't happen by itself.

L X


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## SALKev (Feb 28, 2009)

Only just saw this, had no idea. I really hope it all works out for you buddy..chin up -I'm sure you've read my sig!


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## Mars (Aug 25, 2007)

bigbob33 said:


> I've just left my wife and kids and I don't know why other than the fact I'm deeply unhappy!
> 
> I've got everything I ever wanted, wife,2 lovely girls 10 and 8, big house, dogs car the lot...
> 
> ...





bigbob33 said:


> I really don't know what's wrong, I haven't slept properly for over a week, feel sick all the time and can't stop crying! I just want to hide somewhere


Just seen this and sorry to hear about it mate.

Sounds like clinical deppression, been there myself, get to the docs mate and hopefully he'll get you on the correct anti D's in the first instance, they do take a few wks to kick in but hopfully you'll be back to normal in no time.

Good luck mate.


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## Greyphantom (Oct 23, 2003)

Hey Rob, as silly as it sounds thats the first step mate... she will be royally p1ssed at you for "letting her down" for a bit, but as suggested write a letter and email and just let her know, after a bit she will start to calm... always here mate if you need an ear... feel the love mate...


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## zelobinksy (Oct 15, 2008)

bigbob33 said:


> I really don't know what's wrong, I haven't slept properly for over a week, feel sick all the time and can't stop crying! I just want to hide somewhere


What about work etc? the stress will cause a lot of problems, best of getting back to the misses and talking it through, perhaps with a GP?

hope things get better


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## Replicator (Apr 4, 2009)

bigbob33 said:


> I've just left my wife and kids and I don't know why other than the fact I'm deeply unhappy!
> 
> Get your self back there then .
> 
> ...


Could be what mars said, if so get to the docs quick.

Or suck it up coz in your own words "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger"


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## God (Sep 3, 2009)

Hey mate, things improving at all?


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## Dav1 (Sep 25, 2009)

Don't know you mate but wanted to post. Give your lady time, but as has been mentioned in some way let her know your feelings. Life can become very intense when kids are involved not so much time to spend on each other, doesn't mean you don't have feelings for each other but sometimes it appears so.

The gear won't be helping (I speak from experience lol) - but others have said that. Try and be positive whatever happens, think of those beautiful kids.

Don't know why (as I'm a cold old bugger) but I've I lovely summer house if I didn't live so far away you could have borrowed it for the night lol.

All the best I do hope everything works out for you mate.


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Cheers guys, I'm working on my self at the moment as it needs sorting! Got pills from the doc, counciling and I'm at my mums...

Just gone back to work after a week in bed, also managed a sh1t gym sess yesterday.... I think it's going to take time!

Saw the kids Saturday, they cooked me tea!

Just trying to stay positive now!

Rob


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## skinnyfat (Mar 30, 2010)

hope this is the start of you feeling better


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Cheers mate, me too!


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## Guest (Oct 5, 2010)

Good to hear m8y :thumb: :thumbup1:


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## God (Sep 3, 2009)

Glad your taking action mate, all the best.


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## cellmore (Aug 26, 2008)

bigbob33 said:


> Cheers guys, I'm working on my self at the moment as it needs sorting! Got pills from the doc, counciling and I'm at my mums...
> 
> Just gone back to work after a week in bed, also managed a sh1t gym sess yesterday.... I think it's going to take time!
> 
> ...


Great to hear you are getting back on track mate. Cheers


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## D92 (Aug 25, 2010)

If i were you mate i would keep the gym sessions very short and light and max 2-3 sessions a week, weight training stresses your body and mind and will probably only make things worse.

Hope you feel back to normal soon pal :thumbup1:


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## PeterTheEater (May 20, 2004)

one step at a time hoss...

its how we handle and bounce back from these setbacks that defines us as men...

best of luck


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## coflex (May 10, 2010)

you've taken the hardest step mate..... you've asked for help...

it will all get better from here in because you are being pro-active

best of luck.

c.


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## Si Train (Jul 21, 2009)

Hope everything is going ok?

I'm going through a similar sort of thing but slightly the other way around. My girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me about 8 weeks ago and im still really struggling to get over her and get on with my life. Im not sleeping well and even taking sleeping pills, i have no appetite (lost about 10Kg) i'm always upset and crying, blaming myself over everything and i'm struggling to get motivation to do anything.

I'm going to book an appointment at the docs tomorrow just incase i have some sort of depression?


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