# Itchy Ar5e



## Barker

jesus christ, this is starting to get on my tits.

Got a right itchy ring, sometimes its actually bled slightly ive scratched it that violently haha.

Not really something to joke about but it's really annoying me,

anyone know what it could be? and how to solve it?


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## NeilpWest

i have this. i have an anal fissure which is a small tear in the skin. can be caused by straining to much when goin to loo etc etc. The tear causes a small discharge now and then which causes the damn itchyness, and it can be bad sometimes and very annoying. You can go docs but i went and got some savlon and rubbed that in few times aday. help heal any wounds and stops the itching.

Hope that helps


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## joe.b

is it just in the ar5e? sounds like worms mate


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## Prodiver

Worms (unlikely in an adult unless you have contact with dirty small kids) or a fungal or bacterial infection.

Been shafted recently... :wink:

Wash your arse more with an antibacterial wash or wet wipes after you wipe it.


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## keir27

lol hate to admit but i get that too! has calmed down recently but as i go gym twice a day and basically get two showers a day it seems to be worse at night when im asleep and wake up viotlenly scratching, my first thought was worms too, strange


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## Syko

Wipe your ass propley :laugh:

Cant remember where i see it but if you dont wipe your ass properly little bugs sit on your ring and this is what causes the itching :thumbup1:


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## chrisj28

wipe it properly lol


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## Ken Hutchinson

Try dettol.


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## Syko

www.google.co.uk

Search for "why have i got an itchy bum"

Tells you all about it :thumbup1:


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## coflex

NeilpWest said:


> i have this. i have an anal fissure which is a small tear in the skin. can be caused by straining to much when goin to loo etc etc. The tear causes a small discharge now and then which causes the damn itchyness, and it can be bad sometimes and very annoying. You can go docs but i went and got some savlon and rubbed that in few times aday. help heal any wounds and stops the itching.
> 
> Hope that helps


good post. the itching can be caused by the fissure healing....same as when a cut itches when it scabs. problem is, that these fissures can hang around for ages due to the wound being opened again and again


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## SiPhil

Smother it with some rubbing alcohol and push some inside for good measure.

Oh it'll sting and burn...but won't itch anymore.

Stop using toilet roll, it doesn't clean. Use water and your fingers or sponge. One other tip for a good non-itchy a$$, give yourself an enema after pooping. It cleans out all the particles of sh1t which would work their way down and make it itch and give you a smelly finger when you scratch it.

I know what I'm talking about, I used to have a constantly itchy and smelly bum. Now it's always clean enough to eat your dinner off.


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## coflex

SiPhil said:


> Smother it with some rubbing alcohol and push some inside for good measure.
> 
> Oh it'll sting and burn...but won't itch anymore.
> 
> Stop using toilet roll, it doesn't clean. Use water and your fingers or sponge. One other tip for a good non-itchy a$$, give yourself an enema after pooping. It cleans out all the particles of sh1t which would work their way down and make it itch and give you a smelly finger when you scratch it.
> 
> I know what I'm talking about, I used to have a constantly itchy and smelly bum. *Now it's always clean enough to eat your dinner off*.


hmmmm...now there's a guy who likes some perineum play, i bet lol!!!


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## Prodiver

SiPhil said:


> Smother it with some rubbing alcohol and push some inside for good measure.
> 
> Oh it'll sting and burn...but won't itch anymore.
> 
> Stop using toilet roll, it doesn't clean. Use water and your fingers or sponge. One other tip for a good non-itchy a$$, give yourself an enema after pooping. It cleans out all the particles of sh1t which would work their way down and make it itch and give you a smelly finger when you scratch it.
> 
> I know what I'm talking about, I used to have a constantly itchy and smelly bum. Now it's always clean enough to eat your dinner off.


Yes... This is why the French are so keen on bidets.

Since we're down to the bottom of things...

Lavatory paper is usually OK if you wipe correctly.

This means opening up your arse after you've finished shitting and wiping till clean inside.

And don't forget to wash your hands well...


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## PaulB

i wash my **** everytime i go for a number two. Nothing more filthy in my eyes than having a dirty ring piece. plus you never know when the paramedics will have to strip you off. no skids in my undies.

maybe your undies are too tight, that will give you a sweaty **** which is perfect for bacteria.


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## TryingToGetBig

Try 'head and shoulder's' great for dandruff

http://www.headandshoulders.co.uk/en-GB/mmmmappeal.jspx


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## Replicator

Barker said:


> jesus christ, this is starting to get on my tits.
> 
> Got a right itchy ring, sometimes its actually bled slightly ive scratched it that violently haha.
> 
> Not really something to joke about but it's really annoying me,
> 
> anyone know what it could be? and how to solve it?


Could it be your allergic to your boyfriends come when it oozes out your @rse thats causing the itch. 

Just that when Im on cycle the wife says mine itches her a bit..

Or you might just have worms as others have said.


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## DNL

:lol:


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## Ironclad

Syko said:


> www.google.co.uk
> 
> Search for "why have i got an itchy bum"
> 
> Tells you all about it :thumbup1:


http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Why+have+I+got+an+itchy+bum-hole%3F

:lol:


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## WannaGetHench

You got itchty testicles or groin aswell? If you have its fungal. Could be from straining which causes tiny cuts...Or it can be from under wiping or over wiping.


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## Hera

After watching many episodes of 'embarrassing bodies' I'd say you might have either a little cut (fissure) (I don't want to be crude as to how that can happen) which isn't having a chance to heal, or it could be internal piles.


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## Conscript

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Don't use cheap toilet roll, it's like sandpaper to a bullet wound...:laugh:

Immac/veet for sensitive skin...Crack/sack and back...might help keep the area in question more hygienic...


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## bizzlewood

Are you sure it's not piles


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## Matt 1

och8QvELxA8[/MEDIA]]





butt scratcherrr!

ok that did not work :/


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## WannaGetHench

If it was piles youd have mini grapes hanging out, and it wouldnt only itch, it would be painful to sit etc....


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## bizzlewood

Nope I get the piles and mine are internal and they itch like a mofo


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## Prodiver

bizzlewood said:


> Nope I get the piles and mine are internal and they itch like a mofo


Is right. But did you find out you had them necause you had itching? And did/do they bleed?


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## bizzlewood

Yep went to the doc and everything


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## 2bobs

Have tried everything on my balloon knot, e45 cream, witch hazel, took worm tablets etc etc, the only thing that sorts it out is canestan hydrocortisone cream.


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## Barker

eurgh don;t really fancy bending over infront of a doc!

I wipe my ar5e properly, mainly because its the most soothing way of scratching my ar5e i have tried.

It doesn't happen all the time, just when it does, it's bad.

Like I'll be walking to college literally twitching and cringing trying not to scratch it!

Might invest in some savlon then.


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## WannaGetHench

2bobs said:


> Have tried everything on my balloon knot, e45 cream, witch hazel, took worm tablets etc etc, the only thing that sorts it out is canestan hydrocortisone cream.


Be careful with that stuff, Dont use it for over a week because it causes thinning of the skin.


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## Conscript

Sounds to me like you have piles mate!!

http://www.embarrassingproblems.com/problem/piles

As it says they can go away...just avoid being constipated and over straining when going to pinch one out...


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## bizzlewood

Use the germaliod cream stuff it's really good


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## Smitch

Too much cock.


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## Conscript

Smitch said:


> Too much cock.


That would be a sore throat in your case.....:laugh:


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## Dazza

Seems you can't embed html in this section, disappointing.


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## KatBelle

pmsl this whole thread made me laugh lol x


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## Syko

Still got smelly fingers Barker or you solved the problem? :laugh:


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## dalboy

Had the exact same thing fella for about a year now (since I started training)

Sometimes it gets really bad! I find it eases up on the weekends (maybe to do with eating less and gong toilet less, I dunno)

Recently noticed it getting itchier just above my ar5e, looked in the mirror and its like a boil / bump.

I kept putting off going to the doc but went last week - Dont have much faith in my doctor but he said its nothing to worry about and put me on 2 weeks antibiotics and anusol cream.

Should finish the course by this Wednesday. If its still the same ill go back to the docs.

Maybe worth doing so they can check.


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## Barker

Only when ive had a proper good scratch syko! haha :lol:

And DalBoy doctors really will be the last resort, can't imagine showing some doc my ar5e :/

Was itching pretty bad after a poo earlier so i wiped it after with some more paper and there was like really light red blood on the tissue, does this mean it's piles?

Just always thought piled were painfull too, there's no pain, just unreal itching that makes my eyes water when i resist it it's that bad!


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## a.notherguy

Barker said:


> jesus christ, this is starting to get on my tits.
> 
> Got a right itchy ring, sometimes its actually bled slightly ive scratched it that violently haha.
> 
> Not really something to joke about but it's really annoying me,
> 
> anyone know what it could be? and how to solve it?


my best friend used to have this problem.

this is a vid showing how he solved it.


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## Conscript

Barker said:


> Only when ive had a proper good scratch syko! haha :lol:
> 
> And DalBoy doctors really will be the last resort, can't imagine showing some doc my ar5e :/
> 
> Was itching pretty bad after a poo earlier so i wiped it after with some more paper and there was like really light red blood on the tissue, does this mean it's piles?
> 
> Just always thought piled were painfull too, there's no pain, just unreal itching that makes my eyes water when i resist it it's that bad!


Yes mate it sounds like piles... :cursing: ...not all piles are painful, some just itch and bleed!!!

It will probably go away on its own but if it don't you may need some cream on standby in case it flares up bad...or if its very severe you have to go docs and go surgery route...


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## Ninja

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Barker

a.notherguy said:


> my best friend used to have this problem.
> 
> this is a vid showing how he solved it.


Hahah reps! :lol:


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## benicillin

fcuking hell, this thread succeeds in making going for a sh1t sound like a job which requires huge precision and skill.

What's wrong with dumping your log, wiping your sheriffs badge till it's clean and that being the end of it. sod using my fingers/creams/cleaning your hole inside out etc!


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## Fragjuice

Extremely grim. Thanks :no:


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## SiPhil




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## Graham Mc

LMFAO !!! OMG


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## Graham Mc

Sat on anything freezeing in the past 24 hours for a long while ?


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## -Jack-

hairy ****?


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## tuktuk

stop pokey bum w*nking


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## strange_days

Brilliant thread


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## stevo99

this is one funny thread


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## Morgy

a.notherguy said:


> my best friend used to have this problem.
> 
> this is a vid showing how he solved it.


That had me in tears funny as. Mind you i bet the owners were ****ed with all those dirt tracks on their carpets lol:cursing::laugh:definate reps to you


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## Morgy

i also get the itchy sh1tter thing, i use germoloids and a good wash to stop the itching. Mind you when it does itch and has to be scratched, i love scratching it, yeh i know, dirty fcuker. I might get the missus to scratch it wwhen we're avin a bit, i'll get my coat.


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## Barker

okay literally today it's been a nightmare. I feel like if been fisted by Coleman.

Its not itching today its pain, in agony with it now, running a bath as i type this, hope it will help :cursing:


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## husky

you need the doctor to have a look mate-if its that bad scoot upto a+e-you might be lucky and get some young fit female doctor to stick her finger up your ****-then again you could end up with doctor kitimbe from nigeria with the rolling pin fingers having a good old poke and prod.


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## Barker

found some spray on savlon earlier, used some, stung a bit, not had problems since!

Doubt it'll have cured it properly though, was just a tiny bit, but if it has it s a miracle worker.


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## benicillin

sounds like you've had a lot of problems.... you been using a barbwired baseball bat as a butt plug or something?


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## tazzy-lee

savlon cream isnt good for your anus i wouldnt use that if i was you


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## stevo99

any luck with a solution

my ricker is driving me mad!! itching 24/7


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## Jim78

^^^

sounds like worms, theres a tablet you can buy from pharmacy, take it and be worm free within a day mate, its common amongst kids tbh, especialyl at nursery if they arn't wiping their hands properly or playing with dirt and stuff, anything really, good reason not to bite your nails is worms!

Just pop in and buy the tab, says its for the young un or something lol or you could just say you've an itchy **** and worms.


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## chris27

my **** is itchy just reading this thread lol


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## will-uk

LMAO, dont even know why i clicked on this thread tho haha:laugh:


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## flinty90




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## laurie g

a finger and some sandpaper sorts me out nicely.

Have a scab on your ring piece isnt so nice admittedly


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## Greshie

Sounds most likely a fissure or piles . Anusol / suppossitories should sooth the itching .... but if it continues you should see your GP


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## Jim78

Greshie said:


> Sounds most likely a fissure or piles . Anusol / suppossitories should sooth the itching .... but if it continues you should see your GP


seen as though this thread was started 10/2010 id hope he'd got it sorted wouldn't you?? pmsl


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