# Social anxiety + gym= nightmare



## ARkb (Nov 24, 2017)

Hi guys,

This is a bit of a weird subject, but a reality for me!

Although in everyday life social anxiety bothers me, even when I'm out walking somewhere I'm very on edge and jumpy. But in the gym it's really bad. It feels like everyone is constantly staring and laughing at me when Im in front of everybody for example picking up weights etc... So far I have managed to just ignore it and not make eye contact but its just a horrible feeling that makes me. Want to rush my workout and leave. Does anybody else suffer from this? Any tips how you cope with it?


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## Essexdan (Aug 20, 2017)

I have anxiety aswell but yours does sound a bit worse than mine. I have the feeling of people looking and talking if im out and about and at gym but generally try to not tbink about it. Gym can be a very daunting place with anxiety as its very enclosed and often people will be very close to you. Ive found just putting headphones on with what ever music makes you feel good/confident and just getting on with your workout. Also the chances anyone is actually looking or talking about you is very slim unless you are a complete moron. Dont rush through your workouts and sacrifice what ever goal you have because that wont help..remember when you reach that goal hopefully you will fell more confident and tbe anxiety should ease up.


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## Cypionate (Jan 17, 2016)

ARkb said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> This is a bit of a weird subject, but a reality for me!
> 
> Although in everyday life social anxiety bothers me, even when I'm out walking somewhere I'm very on edge and jumpy. But in the gym it's really bad. It feels like everyone is constantly staring and laughing at me when Im in front of everybody for example picking up weights etc... So far I have managed to just ignore it and not make eye contact but its just a horrible feeling that makes me. Want to rush my workout and leave. Does anybody else suffer from this? Any tips how you cope with it?


 Try making eye contact and say hey to a few people, so you know them to say hi to when you work out, you'll probably find when you look up at them expecting them to be staring and laughing at you, that they aren't looking anywhere near your direction

Once you've gotten to know a few people you won't need to keep your head down and wonder where people are looking

Almost guaranteed that everyone is just getting on with their own thing and not paying much if any attention to you at all


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## anabolik (Aug 19, 2010)

Stop analysing who you think is staring at you and concentrate on your workouts. Think about your next set and imagine getting a new PR. Put on some music and get into beast mode.

You're never going to make gains if you're constantly sat there hyperventilating about wether people are looking at you or not. f**k them anyway. Who cares.

Btw, most people in the gym are friendly. Just give them a simple 'hi' and you'll usually see this for yourself. Maybe once you interact with a few of the regulars there you'll feel a bit more 'at home' there.


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## comfla (Feb 26, 2013)

*Huge goddamn headphones and a baseball cap*

see no evil, hear no evil

Shouldn't be paying attention to other people for any reason other than making sure your working space is clear and safe. You're there to work.


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## ARkb (Nov 24, 2017)

Essexdan said:


> I have anxiety aswell but yours does sound a bit worse than mine. I have the feeling of people looking and talking if im out and about and at gym but generally try to not tbink about it. Gym can be a very daunting place with anxiety as its very enclosed and often people will be very close to you. Ive found just putting headphones on with what ever music makes you feel good/confident and just getting on with your workout. Also the chances anyone is actually looking or talking about you is very slim unless you are a complete moron. Dont rush through your workouts and sacrifice what ever goal you have because that wont help..remember when you reach that goal hopefully you will fell more confident and tbe anxiety should ease up.


 I do hope it does ease up. Thanks. Trouble is for me it's at its worst at the gym. General life I can brush it off. But in gym I can't shake that feeling, even with headphones on, to me it doesn't make a difference. I sometimes pause whatever I'm playing but keep the headphone on just to check if anyone is talking about me and even though I know they're not it just DOES NOT GO AWAY! I'm just a normal skinny fat dude so I know I'm not eye candy, but ahhhhh man it just doesn't stop. I've started taking my bro to gym with me and that does help a lot just having someone there makes a huge difference.


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## ARkb (Nov 24, 2017)

Cypionate said:


> Try making eye contact and say hey to a few people, so you know them to say hi to when you work out, you'll probably find when you look up at them expecting them to be staring and laughing at you, that they aren't looking anywhere near your direction
> 
> Once you've gotten to know a few people you won't need to keep your head down and wonder where people are looking
> 
> Almost guaranteed that everyone is just getting on with their own thing and not paying much if any attention to you at all


 That's very true I need to be a bit more open and talk to people more, I swear I'm cursed with every negative thing though. I have a quiet voice anyway and when I train I drink a lot of water which makes it nearly impossible to hear my voice. But thanks for the advice I guess Il just have to carry on with it and f the world lol


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## ARkb (Nov 24, 2017)

Thanks everyone for the advice, I think I will have to try and find a way to make it work, big headphones, baseball cap (really good idea BTW) and try being less of a introvert and see what happens. Thanks again peeps


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## Cypionate (Jan 17, 2016)

ARkb said:


> That's very true I need to be a bit more open and talk to people more, I swear I'm cursed with every negative thing though. I have a quiet voice anyway and when I train I drink a lot of water which makes it nearly impossible to hear my voice. But thanks for the advice I guess Il just have to carry on with it and f the world lol


 Might sound obvious, but constantly telling yourself you are cursed with negative things, have a quiet voice etc etc, you'll convince yourself it's true and make it worse, no different to someone else constantly saying it to you

When you catch yourself putting yourself down in any way like that, get it in check, stop and say or think something positive about yourself, even if you have to make it up to start with, over time you'll convince yourself positively


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## Essexdan (Aug 20, 2017)

ARkb said:


> I do hope it does ease up. Thanks. Trouble is for me it's at its worst at the gym. General life I can brush it off. But in gym I can't shake that feeling, even with headphones on, to me it doesn't make a difference. I sometimes pause whatever I'm playing but keep the headphone on just to check if anyone is talking about me and even though I know they're not it just DOES NOT GO AWAY! I'm just a normal skinny fat dude so I know I'm not eye candy, but ahhhhh man it just doesn't stop. I've started taking my bro to gym with me and that does help a lot just having someone there makes a huge difference.


 I know what you mean about someone with you. I take my kids if im going out shopping ect as i feel it helps take my mind of it


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## Essexdan (Aug 20, 2017)

Cypionate said:


> Try making eye contact and say hey to a few people, so you know them to say hi to when you work out, you'll probably find when you look up at them expecting them to be staring and laughing at you, that they aren't looking anywhere near your direction
> 
> Once you've gotten to know a few people you won't need to keep your head down and wonder where people are looking
> 
> Almost guaranteed that everyone is just getting on with their own thing and not paying much if any attention to you at all


 I hear what your saying and in theory is a great idea but if op is like me he is prob thinking why would they want to talk to me if he started a convo.


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## Cypionate (Jan 17, 2016)

Essexdan said:


> I hear what your saying and in theory is a great idea but if op is like me he is prob thinking why would they want to talk to me if he started a convo.


 Doesn't need to start a convo, just say hey, then the next time you go you usually get a hey/hi back off them, makes the atmosphere much lighter


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## comfla (Feb 26, 2013)

ARkb said:


> Thanks everyone for the advice, I think I will have to try and find a way to make it work, big headphones, baseball cap (really good idea BTW) and *try being less of a introvert* and see what happens. Thanks again peeps


 Hey man, don't try to change who you are, that's one fight you're gonna lose.

I used to be an little introvert.... now i'm a bigger introvert who occasionally gets on stage in a pair of pants and pulls a couple of poses :thumb :thumb


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## Jonk891 (Dec 17, 2016)

They are most likely getting on with their own thing and if they are staring and laughing at you then they are lazy fukers that deserve a man slap


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## ARkb (Nov 24, 2017)

Wow! So much positive vibes, thanks everyone. You know what.... Since so many have suggested it, Il give it a go Il try start the convo..... Thanks everyone so much for the positive advice


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## Pancake' (Aug 30, 2012)

ARkb said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> This is a bit of a weird subject, but a reality for me!
> 
> Although in everyday life social anxiety bothers me, even when I'm out walking somewhere I'm very on edge and jumpy. But in the gym it's really bad. It feels like everyone is constantly staring and laughing at me when Im in front of everybody for example picking up weights etc... So far I have managed to just ignore it and not make eye contact but its just a horrible feeling that makes me. Want to rush my workout and leave. Does anybody else suffer from this? Any tips how you cope with it?


 Your mentality. and the fact you seem to care....

That's possibly why you experience social anxiety. when you don't care about something, you cannot be phased by it. the same way, you can't show interest, if you're not interested.

Ask yourself this in any situation, you may be apprehensive about. what would the warrior me do? EVERYONE has a warrior of themselves inside them. regardless, who you are, it's irrelevant. what matters is... you step up when challenged, when you feel this way. their is nothing worse than wasted time and setbacks in life.

social anxiety is a setback and is preventing you, from being the ULTIMATE potential of YOU, that you could well become. don't value what anyone else thinks of you, if people think, you're weird, don't sit there, biting your nails like ''omg, how do I fit in, these people think I'm weird, I've blown it with them.'' destroy self doubt, become less shameful. this is how you tackle anxiety and grow in confidence.

''I used to walk into a room and wondered, if anyone liked me, I now walk into a room and wonder, if I like them.'' can't recall who said this, but this is a strong perspective.


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## ARkb (Nov 24, 2017)

Starz said:


> Your mentality. and the fact you seem to care....
> 
> That's possibly why you experience social anxiety. when you don't care about something, you cannot be phased by it. the same way, you can't show interest, if you're not interested.
> 
> ...


 Thanks for the advice. But my main problem is HOW do I get to that mind state of not giving a f***. Some people have mastered that, I just can't! But at the same time my hunger for the desire to shut people up and prove people wrong is the only reason I drag my butt to the gym 6-7 days a week. Trained shoulders just 1 hour ago. I have to say literally the positive feedback and advice from all the people here actually got me through it a lot easier! And I trained on my own today. Don't think the peeps here understand how much they've helped me lighten this anxiety. Seriously thank you to everyone who replied!


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## Pancake' (Aug 30, 2012)

ARkb said:


> Thanks for the advice. *But my main problem is HOW do I get to that mind state of not giving a f***.* Some people have mastered that, I just can't! But at the same time my hunger for the desire to shut people up and prove people wrong is the only reason I drag my butt to the gym 6-7 days a week. Trained shoulders just 1 hour ago. I have to say literally the positive feedback and advice from all the people here actually got me through it a lot easier! And I trained on my own today. Don't think the peeps here understand how much they've helped me lighten this anxiety. Seriously thank you to everyone who replied!


 in a word... Hunger.

Some naturally just have it, some moulded like that.

Forget proving anyone wrong, train to just better yourself man.


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## monkeybiker (Jul 21, 2010)

ARkb said:


> Thanks for the advice. But my main problem is HOW do I get to that mind state of not giving a f***. Some people have mastered that, I just can't! But at the same time my hunger for the desire to shut people up and prove people wrong is the only reason I drag my butt to the gym 6-7 days a week. Trained shoulders just 1 hour ago. I have to say literally the positive feedback and advice from all the people here actually got me through it a lot easier! And I trained on my own today. Don't think the peeps here understand how much they've helped me lighten this anxiety. Seriously thank you to everyone who replied!


 It's a case of putting yourself outside of your comfort zone. Basically put yourself in difficult situations and get used to them. Do things that scare you and after you do that and see nothing bad happened it stops scaring you.


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## ARkb (Nov 24, 2017)

monkeybiker said:


> It's a case of putting yourself outside of your comfort zone. Basically put yourself in difficult situations and get used to them. Do things that scare you and after you do that and see nothing bad happened it stops scaring you.


 Sounds interesting. You mean kinda like just shut everything out and stay out your comfort zone for a while and see what happens....? Scary... But won't hurt to try it. Thanks


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## monkeybiker (Jul 21, 2010)

ARkb said:


> Sounds interesting. You mean kinda like just shut everything out and stay out your comfort zone for a while and see what happens....? Scary... But won't hurt to try it. Thanks


 I mean like if you are scared of flying get in a plane. Do stuff you wouldn't normally do because of fear.


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## anna1 (Mar 22, 2014)

comfla said:


> Hey man, don't try to change who you are, that's one fight you're gonna lose.
> 
> I used to be an little introvert.... now i'm a bigger introvert who occasionally gets on stage in a pair of pants and pulls a couple of poses :thumb :thumb


 OMG !! You're a stripper ? 

x


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## EpicSquats (Mar 29, 2014)

I was doing some effing sweet dumbbell bench press today, hoping people would be mirin'. No one even looked. I was hardcore wounded. Moral of the story? No one gives a crap about your workout homie. Just do your thing, no one is watching.


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## Brook877 (May 16, 2012)

Genuinely do not underestiate how little other people are interested in a stranger in the gym, unless you're going there in a full neon shell suit I doubt anyone has even noticed you never mind been talking about you, stick it out, focus on what you are there to do and drop a few hi's and hello's and you'll soon feel at home.


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## Frost_uk (Sep 1, 2014)

I know how you feel chap, been suffering from social anxiety most my adult life say from around 16 and now 37.

Doesn't help that my resting face is like pissed off look Lol, when I walk past people and hear them laugh I instantly think oh they laughing at me (which they could be lol but don't give a fook no more) But it's getting easier as I get older ad just used to it and learnt to take my mind off the situation and it is true that most people just look and then look away just like you do yourself sometimes, gym is a place where most people don't care what your doing and are mainly looking to judge how many sets you got left.

Surprising just by being a regular how many people start to talk to you... I'm not one for starting a conversation with strangers but started striking up a conversation with a few and you'll find they are mostly a lot like you in many ways which can chill you out a bit.


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## Baka (Dec 9, 2015)

Frost_uk said:


> I know how you feel chap, been suffering from social anxiety most my adult life say from around 16 and now 37.
> 
> Doesn't help that my resting face is like pissed off look Lol, when I walk past people and hear them laugh I instantly think oh they laughing at me (which they could be lol but don't give a fook no more) But it's getting easier as I get older ad just used to it and learnt to take my mind off the situation and it is true that most people just look and then look away just like you do yourself sometimes, gym is a place where most people don't care what your doing and are mainly looking to judge how many sets you got left.
> 
> Surprising just by being a regular how many people start to talk to you... I'm not one for starting a conversation with strangers but started striking up a conversation with a few and you'll find they are mostly a lot like you in many ways which can chill you out a bit.


 exactly , you always feel better when you talk to one person .

Sometimes you think they are 'mean' people or bad people but as soon as you talk to them you realise they are cool.

I suffer from social anxiety too , and i still go to the gym everyday but yea sometimes i don't do some exercices because of that.. and some days are worse then others .


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## anna1 (Mar 22, 2014)

I used to get that a lot and I 'm still reluctant sometimes to approach people and even ask for help .

I have found though that a smile and a hello goes a long way , noone's at the gym to judge you .

Maybe working out with someone you know a few times will help you feel more comfortable in the environment and gradually surpass this

x


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## MrLulz (Mar 20, 2012)

Don't hide yourself away with headphones etc as that just serves to mentally reinforce the notion that there is something to be feared.

Basically do the opposite to how your anxiety causes you to behave - get yourself out there rather than retreating, have your say rather than biting your tongue, say "why not?" when in a position to try something different rather than talking yourself out of it.

I've had social anxiety. I'm now older and wiser and understand the conditions that allowed it to flourish. Nowadays I'm much more inclined to not imagine being noticed or judged by others. That or to think "who gives a sh*t if they are".


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## comfla (Feb 26, 2013)

anna1 said:


> OMG !! You're a stripper ?
> 
> x


 Haha, I think in todays world being a stripper is less weird than being a bodybuilder


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## JUICE1 (Jan 28, 2016)

You have to constantly confront the anxiety and never shy away from situations that might trigger your anxiety. That's the only way you will overcome it and it might a long time but that's what you have to do.


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## orangeandpears (Dec 16, 2017)

I have very bad anxiety mainly brought about from traumatic events and drug abuse in my early 20's i bought a half rack and some weights for like £400 i now work out in the safety of my own home and i could not imagine ever going to the gym again i use to cut workouts short all the time as i felt like i was going to cry, I've had people laugh and change my weights when i go to the toilet however i am now far bigger than any of them ever were.

I would see if you could save up for a half rack or go to the gym at a less sociable hour, i will tell you it gets a lot better once you feel happy with where you are at in life and gym however it does still creep up on you going to counselling to talk about it may help.


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## Cypionate (Jan 17, 2016)

orangeandpears said:


> I have very bad anxiety mainly brought about from traumatic events and drug abuse in my early 20's i bought a half rack and some weights for like £400 i now work out in the safety of my own home and i could not imagine ever going to the gym again i use to cut workouts short all the time as i felt like i was going to cry, I've had people laugh and change my weights when i go to the toilet however i am now far bigger than any of them ever were.
> 
> I would see if you could save up for a half rack or go to the gym at a less sociable hour, i will tell you it gets a lot better once you feel happy with where you are at in life and gym however it does still creep up on you going to counselling to talk about it may help.


 You needed to change gyms or bang some heads if people were immature enough to switch your weights around while you were away from them, that wouldn't be even heard of in most gyms

Unless they were just doing their own sets thinking you were finished with them and didn't put the plates back, paranoia is a cruel mistress and can make you imagine scenarios that didn't happen instead of looking at the most likely one


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## orangeandpears (Dec 16, 2017)

Nah they left a 20kg on one side and just put a 10kg on the other side on my squat rack they were doing bench, people around that age are very immature especially when they are in groups i actually quit the gym that day lol, i might go back in summer once i do my cut (have fat face atm) and see if i recognise anyone the long term goal will be to start using a gym again i do like the extra equipment compared to my bare bones home gym


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## Cypionate (Jan 17, 2016)

orangeandpears said:


> Nah they left a 20kg on one side and just put a 10kg on the other side on my squat rack they were doing bench, people around that age are very immature especially when they are in groups i actually quit the gym that day lol, i might go back in summer once i do my cut (have fat face atm) and see if i recognise anyone the long term goal will be to start using a gym again i do like the extra equipment compared to my bare bones home gym


 You generally find dickheads like that don't stay there long anyway mate, should have stuck it out, they join and go a few times, mostly sit on their phones telling everyone on facebook they're at the gym, then never come back

Seen a few at my gym like that, bigging themselves up loud as they can on the phone about all the things that impress other young'ns, do a couple of very bad dumbbell curls then leave, might see them back once a month or something

Once you've been there for a while you'll get used to the regular serious guys who are always there, just ignore the pricks like that, gyms cost money and so does dope and cider, they don't last lol


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## superdantheman (Jul 22, 2016)

join a 24hr gym and go in unsociable hours until you loose the belly grow a chest and a wide pair of shoulders. You're ego will get a boost then you'll have no problem going whenever you like


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## sjacks (Dec 10, 2017)

EpicSquats said:


> I was doing some effing sweet dumbbell bench press today, hoping people would be mirin'. No one even looked. I was hardcore wounded. Moral of the story? No one gives a crap about your workout homie. Just do your thing, no one is watching.


 Every time we pop in those earphones and play tunes on our smartphones GCHQ and the NSA are watching and listening to us work out by secretly activating the camera and microphone. On the positive side, at least they know some of us are making progress


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## NoGutsNoGloryy (Jan 7, 2013)

At the end of the day you've got to think that nobody gives a fvck what you say or do.


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## ARkb (Nov 24, 2017)

Thanks to everyone who's replied!!

It's been a over a month now since I posted this, an unbelievable amount has changed in that month. From taking advice of people here, even with my resting b**** face lol. I've been a lot less of a introvert and had a few conversations in between sets... And can honestly say it it The BEST bit of advice I had received. It has completely changed my outlook of the gym, I've even made a few new workout buddies! Also since ive been following a diet plan successfully it has boosted my morale a lot, healthy eating gave me so much more energy, I am now always in a positive mind state in the gym. Not like I've completely changed to an extrovert or anything, but I've just realised that if anyone is staring it's more ofter the case that they are are checking your form against theirs kinda thing, either way I have come to terms that nobody is staring and laughing at me. Plus the ego boost I get from hitting pr and watching my body change is enough to not give a f**k about other anymore. Im currently on a caloric deficit and have lost weight from 93kg to 86kg and gained strength! If that's not enough to keep me going I don't know what is! Thanks to everyone for the love!!

To anybody who's reading this, having the same problem I had when I started (I am the op). Just remember most people in the gym are normal friendly people, just take that first brave step and make small talk with others and focus on your own goals and watch your confidence boost!


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## Baka (Dec 9, 2015)

ARkb said:


> Thanks to everyone who's replied!!
> 
> It's been a over a month now since I posted this, an unbelievable amount has changed in that month. From taking advice of people here, even with my resting b**** face lol. I've been a lot less of a introvert and had a few conversations in between sets... And can honestly say it it The BEST bit of advice I had received. It has completely changed my outlook of the gym, I've even made a few new workout buddies! Also since ive been following a diet plan successfully it has boosted my morale a lot, healthy eating gave me so much more energy, I am now always in a positive mind state in the gym. Not like I've completely changed to an extrovert or anything, but I've just realised that if anyone is staring it's more ofter the case that they are are checking your form against theirs kinda thing, either way I have come to terms that nobody is staring and laughing at me. Plus the ego boost I get from hitting pr and watching my body change is enough to not give a f**k about other anymore. Im currently on a caloric deficit and have lost weight from 93kg to 86kg and gained strength! If that's not enough to keep me going I don't know what is! Thanks to everyone for the love!!
> 
> To anybody who's reading this, having the same problem I had when I started (I am the op). Just remember most people in the gym are normal friendly people, just take that first brave step and make small talk with others and focus on your own goals and watch your confidence boost!


 congratz bro I'm really happy for you !


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## anna1 (Mar 22, 2014)

So happy you 've overcome this and that you 're making progress @ARkb !

Have a lovely weekend !

x


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