# partners with low sex drives



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

my mrs sex drive is very very very very low, everything in our relationship is perfect apart from this. its got to a point now tho that my sex drive is none existent and when i can be botherd its just painful cuz i get stitch haha.

everything else is perfect but now its just really niggling me after 4 years. we have had many arguments about it and all her reply is well be with someone else then. i told her there aint another man on this earth who couldnt go aslong as i do without cheating.

i have had a few opportunities over the years but never took them.

anyone elses partner got a low sex drive and how do you cope?


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## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

You should cheat mate, if anyone ever had a valid reason its you.

I would do it respectfully and use an escort service then it cant affect you relationship with the factor of you getting feelings or the other woman.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Sams said:


> You should cheat mate, if anyone ever had a valid reason its you.
> 
> I would do it respectfully and use an escort service then it cant affect you relationship with the factor of you getting feelings or the other woman.


i cant mate lol plus im to tight to pay for a hooker lol


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## m575 (Apr 4, 2010)

Do we have the same misses? :lol:


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

m575 said:


> Do we have the same misses? :lol:


how many times do you get it mate we may have haha


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## Major Eyeswater (Nov 2, 2013)

My ex had a very low sex drive. Just didn't seem interested at all.

Hence the 'ex'


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## naturalun (Mar 21, 2014)

My mrs fairly similar, well... I dont know you tell me, 5-6x a month average or what? Seems low to me but then again I am a horny 24yo :/


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## staffs_lad (Mar 10, 2013)

Sexual compatibility in a long term relationship is very important. I get that your a loyal bloke and hats off to you for that, many would stray but you've got to talk to her (in a non-argumentative way..) or draw it out of her, i'm sure in all those years you know what makes her tick.

Failing that, i'm afraid you either live with it (something i couldn't do) or you leave her and find someone more compatible.

She clearly means a lot to you so do what you can obviously but for me personally there is only so much i would try before saying, you know what there's others out there who can for fill my needs...


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

naturalun said:


> My mrs fairly similar, well... I dont know you tell me, 5-6x a month average or what? Seems low to me but then again I am a horny 24yo :/


im 24 to mate. 5-6 times a month would make me feel like ron jeremy lol.


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## nWo (Mar 25, 2014)

Lack of sex in a relationship is a dealbreaker, for me. You're basically just mates if you're not getting jiggy.


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## theonlyjosh (Aug 12, 2013)

I love sex too much. Dumped a girl for the same reason ... A man has needs!


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## naturalun (Mar 21, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> im 24 to mate. 5-6 times a month would make me feel like ron jeremy lol.


Haha well I dunno, she has to be "in the mood" for it, it's always planned sex... Now if and she rarely does but sometimes does, spur of the moment asks if I want sex... HELL YEAH! I ask her everyday and she says no lol. Damnit!


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## DanishM (Dec 15, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> im 24 to mate. 5-6 times a month would make me feel like ron jeremy lol.


Wow mate... That's about how often I get laid outside a relationship, without going out drinking. 

I couldn't live with that tbh, it's a huge dealbreaker! But follow your instincts and do what's best for you!


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## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> i cant mate lol plus im to tight to pay for a hooker lol


What about when she is drunk ? does she not get horny then, if so get her to drink more.

Most girls i know get very horny when on coke,so maybe get her to dabble in that


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

I have a 3yr and a 2yr old, I've been with mrs over 5 years and have sex 3-4 times a week, I think that's about average after being with someone a while??

If I only had it twice in one week I'd prob be frustrated. If I had it none, I'd be off dogging.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

staffs_lad said:


> Sexual compatibility in a long term relationship is very important. I get that your a loyal bloke and hats off to you for that, many would stray but you've got to talk to her (in a non-argumentative way..) or draw it out of her, i'm sure in all those years you know what makes her tick.
> 
> Failing that, i'm afraid you either live with it (something i couldn't do) or you leave her and find someone more compatible.
> 
> She clearly means a lot to you so do what you can obviously but for me personally there is only so much i would try before saying, you know what there's others out there who can for fill my needs...


the 1st year or so i bought it up all the time but all i get is "you no where the door is if your not happy" its got that bad that sex seems like a chore for me. my ex mrs was exact opposite, my willy was glowing like a lantern lol, it was fun and exciting. my sex life is non existent and i want more but im not goin to get it. im happy being with her tho and everytime a chance comes up with another girl of corse im tempted but all i picture is her when she finds out. i cant hurt her and dont want to risk it.

lol i even tried to mention an open relationship once, i saw the start of the reaction and managed to make it sound like i was joking lol


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## Little stu (Oct 26, 2011)

Unless she had something medically wrong with with her and couldn't give u sex I would except that if I loved her but sex is quite a big deal in a relationship she should go see a doctor it could be hormonal or something


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## gearchange (Mar 19, 2010)

Lose some weight ,get that dick extention she wants you to have and get down the gym mate. :lol:


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

naturalun said:


> Haha well I dunno, she has to be "in the mood" for it, it's always planned sex... Now if and she rarely does but sometimes does, spur of the moment asks if I want sex... HELL YEAH! I ask her everyday and she says no lol. Damnit!


we are seeing the same the same girl haha. i get the "in the mood" sh1t to lol. if ever i turn it down just cuz im "in the mood"... to be a cvnt then all hell breaks loose.

once a week would do me im not greedy


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

gearchange said:


> Lose some weight ,get that dick extention she wants you to have and get down the gym mate. :lol:


haha all probably right apart from the lose weight mate


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Sams said:


> What about when she is drunk ? does she not get horny then, if so get her to drink more.
> 
> Most girls i know get very horny when on coke,so maybe get her to dabble in that


no harm in trying


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## gearchange (Mar 19, 2010)

I have come across this issue a few times and its a problem that there is no answer for.Some women are just not "that way" when it comes to sex,once they are happy/settled thats them done..Somehow they think love is all you need and if you loved them ,sex is of no consequence..I would advise you just found a little something on the side and keep it that way..


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## Tasty (Aug 28, 2007)

I used to have this problem but then realised that the idea of the problem is the problem itself. The fact that she knows you want it and she doesn't, makes her want it less. It's pressure on her, it's boring, routine etc. Maybe take her away somewhere and say that you don't expect anything to happen you just want some quality time, getting out of the boring routine and having no pressure might get her out of it. Also another thing I did is this - set a rule that says you have to have a cuddle and a kiss every day but promise you won't ever try to take it further, after a while she will want to - once it starts, it'll become more regular, don't let it get boring and it'll carry on. Tty understanding her reasons rather than moping that you get none, worked for me.


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## Lil Robo (Aug 20, 2012)

been with my mrs 2 years, at first all was good as is any fresh relationship then after 5 months went down to 1 maybe 2 times a month. Had the arguments and excuses etc. Its only just started to get better now as i have given her security, bought a dog, house, cars.


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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

You might try talking about it more with her. Don't let her shut you down with the old "if you don't like it....." nonsense. You need to find out if there's anything worth trying to improve things. Has she always had a low sex drive or just lately? Is she tired, stressed, feeling sore, bored with your technique etc etc.

If you can't fix it, seriously think about moving on. Sex is a major part of a relationship, especially when you're young. Without it you might as well just be friends.

You only get one shot at life. Don't settle for spending it in a relationship that isn't giving you everything you need just because you don't want to hurt her feelings.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Oh my lord!!!!! Firstly I thought U were older than 24 how old is the mrs????

Some of my female friends are like this but I just don't get it tbh. Ok it get they might not always want sex if their with a sex beast but if they don't want it I still they can offer up something to keep their man happy...hand job here and there etc ..just something!!!

I don't have this problem Infact it's the other way round and I'm he moody mare who finds the guy is a once twice a week type and that's frustrating


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Lil Robo said:


> been with my mrs 2 years, at first all was good as is any fresh relationship then after 5 months went down to 1 maybe 2 times a month. Had the arguments and excuses etc. Its only just started to get better now as i have given her security, bought a dog, house, cars.


Lol,so in effect ur paying for sex


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## Guest (May 13, 2014)

First things first, was your relationship initially based on amazing sexual chemistry rather than what you had in common? If so this is a classic mistake lots of young people make.

Sex in any relationship eventually becomes boring, there's only so many moves you can do in the bedroom before they become routine and just don't have the same effect anymore, this is normal. However this is the point were some couples find out that they don't actually have much in common outside of the bedroom and never did. The things you ignored about each other to start with (because initially they didn't seem that important), now come back to haunt you.

The way forward is to explore other aspects of each others personality to establish if those cute little traits and things you love about your partner are enough to keep you together. Once you've shifted the focus of your relationship from sex to actually having the same things in common the sexual element gradually returns over time.

If (unfortunately) you realise you have very little in common, then the honest and right thing to do is to call it a day and move on. As upsetting as it may be, you both deserve the chance to be truly happy.


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## HLG (Nov 13, 2012)

Sams said:


> What about when she is drunk ? does she not get horny then, if so get her to drink more.
> 
> Most girls i know get very horny when on coke,so maybe get her to dabble in that


This, haha


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Oh my lord!!!!! Firstly I thought U were older than 24 how old is the mrs????
> 
> Some of my female friends are like this but I just don't get it tbh. Ok it get they might not always want sex if their with a sex beast but if they don't want it I still they can offer up something to keep their man happy...hand job here and there etc ..just something!!!
> 
> I don't have this problem Infact it's the other way round and I'm he moody mare who finds the guy is a once twice a week type and that's frustrating


She is a year younger than me.

Im much older in my brain lol. I remember when once you would be the type of woman id need i used to have confidence that i could satisfy a woman and theres not alot i wouldnt do lol. Now its a struggle to even get the little man up.

My ex mrs had an amazin sex drive but she was evil with her personality, my mrs now is exact opposite.

Fancy being my bit on the side haha


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## fastcar_uk (Jan 30, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> my mrs sex drive is very very very very low, everything in our relationship is perfect apart from this. its got to a point now tho that my sex drive is none existent and when i can be botherd its just painful cuz i get stitch haha.
> 
> everything else is perfect but now its just really niggling me after 4 years. we have had many arguments about it and all her reply is well be with someone else then. i told her there aint another man on this earth who couldnt go aslong as i do without cheating.
> 
> ...


With me it built up and up and nothing changed. So I left.

Got a new gf now and the difference is like night and day.

Relationships with no love and affection are called mates.

I got plenty of mates.


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## Benls1991 (Feb 9, 2013)

If ya do manage to get it mate, make it count. As in, make her remember it, make her come back for more


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## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

Do you make an effort when you do have sex? An effort to rallye make her enjoy it? Or just a quick crack?


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## Tasty (Aug 28, 2007)

harrison180 said:


> Fancy being my bit on the side haha


If that's your level of chat mate we may have found your problem :wink:


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

sneeky_dave said:


> Do you make an effort when you do have sex? An effort to rallye make her enjoy it? Or just a quick crack?


I used to mate. Now I don't bother trying cuz I'm sick of being knocked back and then just bang away till its over. I try not to enjoy things I don't get often then I won't miss it as much lol.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Tasty said:


> If that's your level of chat mate we may have found your problem :wink:


Haha  . This threads just depressed me lol, making me think of how I used to be. I can't even flirt anymore lol. Oh we'll pass the crossword and my slippers please.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

gearchange said:


> I have come across this issue a few times and its a problem that there is no answer for.Some women are just not "that way" when it comes to sex,once they are happy/settled thats them done..Somehow they think love is all you need and if you loved them ,sex is of no consequence..I would advise you just found a little something on the side and keep it that way..


Sounds about right mate.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Tasty said:


> I used to have this problem but then realised that the idea of the problem is the problem itself. The fact that she knows you want it and she doesn't, makes her want it less. It's pressure on her, it's boring, routine etc. Maybe take her away somewhere and say that you don't expect anything to happen you just want some quality time, getting out of the boring routine and having no pressure might get her out of it. Also another thing I did is this - set a rule that says you have to have a cuddle and a kiss every day but promise you won't ever try to take it further, after a while she will want to - once it starts, it'll become more regular, don't let it get boring and it'll carry on. Tty understanding her reasons rather than moping that you get none, worked for me.


Sick of trying mate. There's only so much cuddling you can do. I told her all I need is once a week but even that seems to much.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

cooltt said:


> First things first, was your relationship initially based on amazing sexual chemistry rather than what you had in common? If so this is a classic mistake lots of young people make.
> 
> Sex in any relationship eventually becomes boring, there's only so many moves you can do in the bedroom before they become routine and just don't have the same effect anymore, this is normal. However this is the point were some couples find out that they don't actually have much in common outside of the bedroom and never did. The things you ignored about each other to start with (because initially they didn't seem that important), now come back to haunt you.
> 
> ...


I agree with everything mate and apart from liking horror films we don't have anything in common but we are both happy to be together its just theres no sex life.


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> my mrs sex drive is very very very very low, everything in our relationship is perfect apart from this. its got to a point now tho that my sex drive is none existent and when i can be botherd its just painful cuz i get stitch haha.
> 
> everything else is perfect but now its just really niggling me after 4 years. we have had many arguments about it and all her reply is well be with someone else then. i told her there aint another man on this earth who couldnt go aslong as i do without cheating.
> 
> ...


Had it always been sexless?

If not then there is even bigger problems


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## Guest (May 13, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> I agree with everything mate and apart from liking horror films we don't have anything in common but we are both happy to be together its just theres no sex life.


Well I would suggest that you've just become a comfy pair of slippers for each other.

Like I said you both deserve the chance to be happy and if that means going your separate ways, then so be it. Good luck in whatever you decide.


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## Kristina (Apr 12, 2014)

Listen... the first thing that came to mind is her age and then I see you say she's 23?

The chances are... and this is HIGHLY likely, she is going to seriously hit a sudden phase - right about now.

23, 24, 25... at this age, big changes occur and women suddenly get intensely hormonal and sexual. She's going to need it and it's going to be worth waiting for.

A lot of women experience low sex drive up until a certain point in their mid twenties onwards.

That's the hormonal side.. but what you also need to take into consideration is perhaps mental issues; is she confident enough? Experienced enough? Comfortable? Some serious wooing and digging deep, bonding and exploring here psyche can go a long way into discovering more. Perhaps she needs to feel more confident in her sex life. Discover what she enjoys most and focus on building her confidence by connecting with her on a different level.

Maybe just an idea... for all I know she could be a confident wild child and just not at that stage where she yarns for sex, yet.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Heavyassweights said:


> Had it always been sexless?
> 
> If not then there is even bigger problems


not to bad to start with but gradually got worse but she told me she only did it to keep me. it died off after a while but by that time i was really into her and now before i no it its been four years lol


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

kristina said:


> Listen... the first thing that came to mind is her age and then I see you say she's 23?
> 
> The chances are... and this is HIGHLY likely, she is going to seriously hit a sudden phase - right about now.
> 
> ...


i bloody hope your right lol  . she is quite confident just the usual stuff like always wanting to drop a dress size etc or wanting to go on a diet but its nothing that really bothers her. she does have her moments sometimes i just wish it was more often.


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> not to bad to start with but gradually got worse but she told me she only did it to keep me. it died off after a while but by that time i was really into her and now before i no it its been four years lol


Ask yourself if u can live a sexless life?

If no then time to move on


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Heavyassweights said:


> Ask yourself if u can live a sexless life?
> 
> If no then time to move on


couple of years ago the answer would be no but now my sex drive has become that low i just cba with it and at 24 i dont want to be like that but i dont want to leave her and her family. its my 2nd home there


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> couple of years ago the answer would be no but now my sex drive has become that low i just cba with it and at 24 i dont want to be like that but i dont want to leave her and her family. its my 2nd home there


You are complacent. You want things to get better go see a pro, if that fails split and face your fear


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Heavyassweights said:


> You are complacent. You want things to get better go see a pro, if that fails split and face your fear


nah dont need to pay a stranger when i can get opinions from people who dont no me on here with their life experiences.

guess i'll have to try and have a talk with her one last time about it. all i want is abit more effort from her.


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## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

harrison180 said:


> couple of years ago the answer would be no but now my sex drive has become that low i just cba with it and at 24 i dont want to be like that but i dont want to leave her and her family. its my 2nd home there


I'm in a similar predicament mate. Problem is I've got a kid with her. If I hadn't Id probably have gone by now .


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> nah dont need to pay a stranger when i can get opinions from people who dont no me on here with their life experiences.
> 
> guess i'll have to try and have a talk with her one last time about it. all i want is abit more effort from her.


Denial pal.

Its not opinions you need, u know you want her so do something to keep her


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## 222 (Feb 7, 2014)

Sams said:


> What about when she is drunk ? does she not get horny then, if so get her to drink more.
> 
> Most girls i know get very horny when on coke,so maybe get her to dabble in that


Haha "dabble in that "


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

PaulB said:


> I'm in a similar predicament mate. Problem is I've got a kid with her. If I hadn't Id probably have gone by now .


I reckon if I weren't engaged to my mrs I'd of been gone mate.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> She is a year younger than me.
> 
> Im much older in my brain lol. I remember when once you would be the type of woman id need i used to have confidence that i could satisfy a woman and theres not alot i wouldnt do lol. Now its a struggle to even get the little man up.
> 
> ...


Ohhh nooooo I can't be a bit on the side I gave to be the main meal..can't play second fiddle to anyone.

It's not surprising u have no ex drive either tho ur prob rubbing off each other but in the wrong way lol


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Heavyassweights said:


> Denial pal.
> 
> Its not opinions you need, u know you want her so do something to keep her


Don't think she is goin anywhere mate lol. It's not me that needs to make the effort, I'd like to feel like she is trying to keep me tbh.

I'm one of these people who ain't good with change, I get into a routine and don't like it messed with. My whole life would be spun upside down.


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> Don't think she is goin anywhere mate lol. It's not me that needs to make the effort, I'd like to feel like she is trying to keep me tbh.
> 
> I'm one of these people who ain't good with change, I get into a routine and don't like it messed with. My whole life would be spun upside down.


Fcuk it, what her mum like?


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Ohhh nooooo I can't be a bit on the side I gave to be the main meal..can't play second fiddle to anyone.
> 
> It's not surprising u have no ex drive either tho ur prob rubbing off each other but in the wrong way lol


You can be my starter, mains and pudding if you like  lol.

We probably are and that's a problem.


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## 1manarmy (Apr 22, 2012)

After a few years pal it dies a death anyway don't worry lol


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Heavyassweights said:


> Fcuk it, what her mum like?


Nahhhhh lol


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## hometrainer (Apr 9, 2003)

my last wife had problems with low sex drive i went off and cheated thought the person i had met was the answer to all my problems turned out it was just the start of them and took me to the lowest point in my life and would take me nearly eight years to get back on track.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

hometrainer said:


> my last wife had problems with low sex drive i went off and cheated thought the person i had met was the answer to all my problems turned out it was just the start of them and took me to the lowest point in my life and would take me nearly eight years to get back on track.


I would hit rock bottom if I cheated and hurt her. I can't do it, I'm not saying I don't get tempted but so far I have never gone past abit of smiling and cheeky comments.


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## Lotte (Feb 10, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> i told her there aint another man on this earth who couldnt go aslong as i do without cheating.


See this is the part that isn't fair in my book. It's a guilt trip plain and simple, trying to make her feel like she is obligated to do it because of fear or guilt.

The choice is yours, every day that you make it by being with her you've only got yourself to blame if it's making you miserable and really is that important to you.

You have to think to yourself how much is sex worth in your life; compared to that lack how much do you value all of the other brilliant things she supplies you with? You might decide that it's worth it or you might not.

As for me I decided that the best sex of my life by a country mile but only once per week (plus all of the other good things) is worth more than poor quality more often


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Lotte said:


> See this is the part that isn't fair in my book. It's a guilt trip plain and simple, trying to make her feel like she is obligated to do it because of fear or guilt.
> 
> The choice is yours, every day that you make it by being with her you've only got yourself to blame if it's making you miserable and really is that important to you.
> 
> ...


I do just say it to put the boot in abit I admit but its true. Others would of give in to other offers.

All I'm looking for is once a week and some effort off her to make me feel she wants me. The only time I feel she does is if we are out shopping and another girl gives me some attention then she gets defensive.


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

Dump her and see how quickly she gets horny for you


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## NorthernSoul (Nov 7, 2011)

gycraig said:


> Dump her and see how quickly she gets horny for you


truesies


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

gycraig said:


> Dump her and see how quickly she gets horny for you


Has crossed my mind mate lol


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

was it always this way?

she doesn't seem that bothered from what you say lol


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

harrison180 said:


> Has crossed my mind mate lol


Dumped an ex for similair reasons she became a 3 times a week fwb till I took her back.

I'd dump her see what happens you will soon know if it's sex drive and she still loves you or if she just doesn't find you attractive anymore


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

Ive had this problem in both marriages.

easily cured.

I divorced the cnuts


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## Lotte (Feb 10, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> I do just say it to put the boot in abit I admit but its true. Others would of give in to other offers.
> 
> All I'm looking for is once a week and some effort off her to make me feel she wants me. The only time I feel she does is if we are out shopping and another girl gives me some attention then she gets defensive.


You have to realise that you are making it an obligation.

If she wanted to be with you she'd do it right? How hard can it be to lie back and think of England? That she can't force herself to be in the mood is selfish and not putting in enough "effort"?

Sex is something your partner gives you freely because they can, it's meant to be fun for everyone involved. People don't like doing things because they have to, they don't like feeling obliged to do things whether they want to or not.

Sorry to say it but the more you complain about it and pursue it the harder she will resist meeting you halfway.

If you want to continue being with her your only options are to bury your own sexdrive, become unconcerned. Wait however long it takes and pull out all the stops when you have your chances. The more pressure she perceives from you (directly, passive aggressively etc) the more she will resist compromising.

Alternatively you've bagged someone who genuinely just hates sex entirely in which case you are fvcked!!!


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Loveleelady said:


> was it always this way?
> 
> she doesn't seem that bothered from what you say lol


When we first met we did it often but she said she only did it to keep me (dunno what to make of that) then it gradually well stopped. I kept trying different things to "get her in the mood" but nothing happens. So after being knocked back that many times I started to think well why should I get horny when nothing is going to be done. So I just don't get the urge much anymore or if I do I ignore it.


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

harrison180 said:


> When we first met we did it often but she said she only did it to keep me (dunno what to make of that) then it gradually well stopped. I kept trying different things to "get her in the mood" but nothing happens. So after being knocked back that many times I started to think well why should I get horny when nothing is going to be done. So I just don't get the urge much anymore or if I do I ignore it.


So she tricked you into falling in love then stopped putting out. Id get rid personally and find someone with a compatible sex drive.


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

harrison180 said:


> When we first met we did it often but she said she only did it to keep me (dunno what to make of that) then it gradually well stopped. I kept trying different things to "get her in the mood" but nothing happens. So after being knocked back that many times I started to think well why should I get horny when nothing is going to be done. So I just don't get the urge much anymore or if I do I ignore it.


you're not sexually matched how come took u so long to realise this?

tell her get her act together or get out lol


----------



## josephbloggs (Sep 29, 2013)

have a serious talk with her ,tell her you want to set aside a night a week to have sex, not very romantic but it's a start. if she won't agree to that tell her you want her to go to the doctors and see if something can be done about her lack of a normal libido. if she refuses to that then walk. If she is not willing to compromise at all then she really can't give that much of a fk about you. and if you let things carry on how they are , 10 years from now you will be bitter and full of resentment.


----------



## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

Lotte said:


> You have to realise that you are making it an obligation.
> 
> If she wanted to be with you she'd do it right? How hard can it be to lie back and think of England? That she can't force herself to be in the mood is selfish and not putting in enough "effort"?
> 
> ...


If she has always had a low sex drive she shouldn't of pretended she didn't till she had him hooked. This story always ends the same way, the guy either dumps her or cheats/gets caught cheating.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Lotte said:


> You have to realise that you are making it an obligation.
> 
> If she wanted to be with you she'd do it right? How hard can it be to lie back and think of England? That she can't force herself to be in the mood is selfish and not putting in enough "effort"?
> 
> ...


I agree with what your saying and I used to say things just joking about its not like I'm a nasty sod lol, quite the opposite and I have suppressed my own sex drive cuz I cba with being knocked back every time I make the effort.

Maybe your last point is the truth tho


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

gycraig said:


> So she tricked you into falling in love then stopped putting out. Id get rid personally and find someone with a compatible sex drive.


Lol don't think it was as bad as it sounds mate. I think once you fall in love you get used to the person then the initial magic wears off. I guess I just stopped being new that's all


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Loveleelady said:


> you're not sexually matched how come took u so long to realise this?
> 
> tell her get her act together or get out lol


I knew it in the first year, we have had many arguments over it. Time just seems to of flown by, it don't even feel like 4 years.


----------



## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

harrison180 said:


> I knew it in the first year, we have had many arguments over it. Time just seems to of flown by, it don't even feel like 4 years.


so wat u gonna do?


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## Kill Kcal (May 11, 2013)

You're not alone pal. Remember that lol


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

josephbloggs said:


> have a serious talk with her ,tell her you want to set aside a night a week to have sex, not very romantic but it's a start. if she won't agree to that tell her you want her to go to the doctors and see if something can be done about her lack of a normal libido. if she refuses to that then walk. If she is not willing to compromise at all then she really can't give that much of a fk about you. and if you let things carry on how they are , 10 years from now you will be bitter and full of resentment.


Tried everything but walking mate. I can't even bring it up now she just ignores me which winds me up.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Loveleelady said:


> so wat u gonna do?


Well I made this thread to get advice and its looking like I either need to make her talk and sort something out or walk. Dunno if I can tho. Hers is the first family I really got in with. I'm part of the family and my mom loves her to bits. I keep thinking of all that aswel.


----------



## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

harrison180 said:


> Well I made this thread to get advice and its looking like I either need to make her talk and sort something out or walk. Dunno if I can tho. Hers is the first family I really got in with. I'm part of the family and my mom loves her to bits. I keep thinking of all that aswel.


are you mad crazy for her?


----------



## NorthernSoul (Nov 7, 2011)

harrison180 said:


> Well I made this thread to get advice and its looking like I either need to make her talk and sort something out or walk. Dunno if I can tho. Hers is the first family I really got in with. I'm part of the family and my mom loves her to bits. I keep thinking of all that aswel.


You have to think about yourself mate. Your mum aint marrying her and spending the rest of her life with her, you are. Her family are nice, well thats good but its not her family your in a relationship with.


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## SK50 (Apr 7, 2013)

I have been on the opposite side.

I had complete elimination of libido by anti depressants and benzos. Went on for years. I am so thankful to her for standing by me and it reinforces my appreciation for her.

I would stand by her unquestionably if the position was reversed.


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## NorthernSoul (Nov 7, 2011)

Loveleelady said:


> are you mad crazy for her?


Obviously not because he has thought about cheating and has been nearly tempted.

IMO, mad crazy then that doesn't even cross your mind.


----------



## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

harrison180 said:


> Tried everything but walking mate. I can't even bring it up now she just ignores me which winds me up.


How much can she care if she ignores a serious issue ?


----------



## SK50 (Apr 7, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> Well I made this thread to get advice and its looking like I either need to make her talk and sort something out or walk. Dunno if I can tho. Hers is the first family I really got in with. I'm part of the family and my mom loves her to bits. I keep thinking of all that aswel.


Some people simply have low libido.

I do, even after recovery of my problems in the above post.

Ideally, people with low libido are best suited to those with low libido.

But personally I wouldn't let this end your relationship. I know how it feels because I had zero libido. Zero. And I would get angry if she brought the subject up.

Perhaps she should see her doctor. There is a drug called wellbutrin (bupropion) which is prescribed in the US as a libido enhancer and anti depressant. In the EU, it is only authorised for stopping smoking. But, I got it prescribed privately for anti-depression. It increases dopamine and hugely increased my sex drive.

It works for women too. I have read forums where people say they went from complete sexual abstinence to having an "insane sex drive".

It may or may not work, but may be worth looking into.


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## -dionysus- (May 29, 2011)

You're doing it wrong, just joking mate.

I've no idea how you cope, I'm a twice a day man (even three times).

Low sex drive is normally the.result of hormonal issues in women low estrogen leads to low test ( Yeh low test affects women as well)

1. L-arginine

2. Asparagus

3. Dark chcolate (use for a strawberry dip)

4. Zma (help boast test)

I heard proviron works at low doses, slip some in her tea lol


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

SK50 said:


> Some people simply have low libido.
> 
> I do, even after recovery of my problems in the above post.
> 
> ...


It's horrible for both sides though I dunno which side I would least rather be on, the person getting harassed for sex on a regular basis or the the person horny with a partner that isn't interested, it destroys your self esteem.


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## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

Same situation mate, and it baffles my head no end

My mrs is perfect, we are very alike and she is a TOP girlfriend. Never whinges, never argues over pointless stuff, never harasses me and gives me my own space. Problem is she reeled me in like a fcuking trout putting out 4 times a day for the first month or two then it slowly settled to a point where I'm not happy. We've spoke about it many times, I split up with her(that was a big factor) for a few reasons then we got back together on the agreement that things would change. Things did, but slowly went back to how they were before

I'm now seeing another girl on the side. Long story but I can't address the issue yet, but when I do, if things change I'll cancel the other girl out and be in one happy relationship - if not I'll be a single man


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## GaryMatt (Feb 28, 2014)

Got mine to work out more. That helped, but she still isn't 'geared' like I am. IN her defense, don't think many 34 yr old men are like me. When I turned 13 or 14, I went into the "ON" position.

I've been "ON," ever since. Stuff that shuts me down is a blessing to her. lol.


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

I get it whenever I want. That doesn't mean she initially says yes or that I don't have to work at it.

With women, no doesn't mean no....it means try harder to turn me on.


----------



## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

Lotte said:


> See this is the part that isn't fair in my book. It's a guilt trip plain and simple, trying to make her feel like she is obligated to do it because of fear or guilt.
> 
> The choice is yours, every day that you make it by being with her you've only got yourself to blame if it's making you miserable and really is that important to you.
> 
> ...


----------



## IronJohnDoe (Oct 17, 2013)

PHMG said:


> I get it whenever I want. That doesn't mean she initially says yes or that I don't have to work at it.
> 
> With women, no doesn't mean no....it means try harder to turn me on.


Exactly.

Same here, any time I want as soon as I am good enough to "convince" her


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## G-man99 (Jul 15, 2008)

Went through something a bit similar several years into my relationship.

After lots of discussions, moods etc, the biggest part was the actual lack of attention and affection that I was showing towards her and actually trying to blame her for the problem.

Obviously the situation was more complex than this but also private that I won't be discussing on a forum.

Take a good look at yourself first and ask if it is entirely her fault!

Do you make her feel wanted and sexy?

Do you put her down and make her feel guilty?

Maybe not intentionally but.......


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## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

IronJohnDoe said:


> Exactly.
> 
> Same here, any time I want as soon as I am good enough to "convince" her





PHMG said:


> I get it whenever I want. That doesn't mean she initially says yes or that I don't have to work at it.
> 
> With women, no doesn't mean no....it means try harder to turn me on.


Might be worth pointing out all women are different. Sorry to break it to you but you are not a God that can make any woman foam at the gash


----------



## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

WilsonR6 said:


> Might be worth pointing out all women are different. Sorry to break it to you but you are not a God that can make any woman foam at the gash


Evidence suggests otherwise....


----------



## IronJohnDoe (Oct 17, 2013)

WilsonR6 said:


> Might be worth pointing out all women are different. Sorry to break it to you but you are not a God that can make any woman foam at the gash


I never thought to be a God but with any woman I been with (quite a few if you ask) it always worked that way.

Man instead complaining needs to be able to turn her on.


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

harrison180 said:


> my mrs sex drive is very very very very low, everything in our relationship is perfect apart from this. its got to a point now tho that my sex drive is none existent and when i can be botherd its just painful cuz i get stitch haha.
> 
> everything else is perfect but now its just really niggling me after 4 years. we have had many arguments about it and all her reply is well be with someone else then. i told her there aint another man on this earth who couldnt go aslong as i do without cheating.
> 
> ...


Sounds like you're just friends now, a relationship with no sex is a friendship. If you're 60+ years old that's fine but if you're young it isn't right as you clearly don't fancy each other any more.

Had a 4 year and a 5 year relationship like that, get out now.


----------



## Delhi (Dec 8, 2005)

Lotte said:


> You have to realise that you are making it an obligation.
> 
> If she wanted to be with you she'd do it right? How hard can it be to lie back and think of England? That she can't force herself to be in the mood is selfish and not putting in enough "effort"?
> 
> ...


blah lab blah blah lol

a woman's perspective is always going to be wrong here. This is a male requirement, no analysing and psychology nonsense. It's REALLY simple what he needs to do. Dump her...this will have one of the two following effects.

1. She will suddenly start banging him again (how dare she hold back ten mins of pleasure once a week for him)

2. She will let him go and he can start banging someone else.

Either way he wins and gets laid, question is does he have the balls to leave.

i would never ask and beg a girl for sex. It's her duty and she should want to to please me and herself. If she uses sex as a weapon or bargain tool time to say bye bye

looking forward to the ladies once again attacking me for my view lol


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## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

IronJohnDoe said:


> I never thought to be a God but with any woman I been with (quite a few if you ask) it always worked that way.
> 
> Man instead complaining needs to be able to turn her on.





PHMG said:


> Evidence suggests otherwise....


Ever tried to get turned on when shutdown?

Don't even think a room full of filthy pornstars could achieve it. Every woman is different


----------



## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

WilsonR6 said:


> Ever tried to get turned on when shutdown?
> 
> Don't even think a room full of filthy pornstars could achieve it. Every woman is different


Never

Been shutdown. Women are fundamental the same. Just requires different paths to get to the final destination. I'm sorry you doing appear skilled enough to achieve this.

Don't worry though you might pick it up at some point


----------



## SK50 (Apr 7, 2013)

gycraig said:


> It's horrible for both sides though I dunno which side I would least rather be on, the person getting harassed for sex on a regular basis or the the person horny with a partner that isn't interested, it destroys your self esteem.


Indeed.

That's why I suggested the pharmacological route. Unusually low libido is often a physical issue which can be addressed. I hope my post #87 isn't ignored.


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Whenever someone asks me what forms the best relationship , I always say love and lust ,

You HAVE to have both to sustain a great relationship , your far too young to accept this, I think your scared to leave?

Take it she's your first love ? Have you ever though that one day she may leave you and you've wasted all this time on her ?

Every day you stay is a day without REAL love and affection - dude your missing out on someone that really wants you


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## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

PHMG said:


> Never
> 
> Been shutdown. Women are fundamental the same. Just requires different paths to get to the final destination. I'm sorry you doing appear skilled enough to achieve this.
> 
> Don't worry though you might pick it up at some point


You've never been shut down so you don't know what it feels like to be physically unable to get horny due to your hormones not being in the right place

To put it in simple terms, it doesn't and cannot happen no matter how much effort you put in

I've had girlfriends who want sex more than me, does that make me a something special, like you are claiming to be?

:lol:

All women are different mate. If you disagree with that then you're nothing short of a retard


----------



## SK50 (Apr 7, 2013)

WilsonR6 said:


> You've never been shut down so you don't know what it feels like to be physically unable to get horny due to your hormones not being in the right place
> 
> To put it in simple terms, it doesn't and cannot happen no matter how much effort you put in
> 
> ...


Exactly.

One cannot assume that libido is psychological only.

Yes, psychology is a huge elemant, but it is clearly physical as well - hormonal.

That is why when humans age, libido is lost.

Try a course of SSRIs - when I was on them I couldn't get a hardon if you paid me - for months.


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

WilsonR6 said:


> You've never been shut down so you don't know what it feels like to be physically unable to get horny due to your hormones not being in the right place
> 
> To put it in simple terms, it doesn't and cannot happen no matter how much effort you put in
> 
> ...


You really are taking this very seriously arnt you :lol:

I've only slept with a 3 women to be honest so I don't even know haha.


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## Linked (Dec 17, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> my mrs sex drive is very very very very low, everything in our relationship is perfect apart from this. its got to a point now tho that my sex drive is none existent and when i can be botherd its just painful cuz i get stitch haha.
> 
> everything else is perfect but now its just really niggling me after 4 years. we have had many arguments about it and all her reply is well be with someone else then. i told her there aint another man on this earth who couldnt go aslong as i do without cheating.
> 
> ...


Ok so,

Do you think you could get away with stickin her with a needle,, if so, there is that horny peptide, can't think of correct name,I'll find it out,,

Remember it bein available when I first was offered the other peptides 5 odd years ago


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## geeby112 (Mar 15, 2008)

Ah been through this

What I hate is that feeling of not wanted but when she finally decides to give in you want to say no ( just to prove a point but can't)

Think Delhi mentioned a good point, never come across as begging for sex, your giving her that Sence of power knowing she has something you want and can control when you can have it. Instead play it cool, when she starts kissing or you Sence she's wants it just say your not in the mood. She will start to think is there someone else and UP her game.

I've done that method, for a month I was coming home to her in lingerie, nurse uniforms lol the feeling to a girl of she maybe loosing you to another girl is a no no and of she cares she will pull out all her tricks.


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## night06 (May 1, 2014)

Cheat.


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## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

geeby112 said:


> Ah been through this
> 
> What I hate is that feeling of not wanted but when she finally decides to give in you want to say no ( just to prove a point but can't)
> 
> ...


Might give this a bash but not sure if my mrs is stupid enough. She knows I'm extremely horny, and would probably just be like ah right okay night!


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## Lewy_h (Jan 4, 2012)

Jump on letro for a month or two, she'll soon wonder why you haven't touched her in months


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Lotte said:


> You have to realise that you are making it an obligation.
> 
> If she wanted to be with you she'd do it right? How hard can it be to lie back and think of England? That she can't force herself to be in the mood is selfish and not putting in enough "effort"?
> 
> ...


Lol this is kind of defending the woman....I think it's rubbish personally this is someone who is mid twenties has no medical issue hasn't expressed a desire to go to the docs and sort it and has openly admitted ' i did it when we first met to keep u' ....sounds like a girl who can't be ****d to me...not saying ditch her but this guy is 24 for goodness sake why should he hold fire with sex drive seems odd to me if he did. If it was an older couple I can see there could be different issues. If there's no sex it's easier to deal with and understand if there's a reason behind it but in this case there doesn't seem to be ...but ur right he's up the creek without a paddle literally lol


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

SK50 said:


> Exactly.
> 
> One cannot assume that libido is psychological only.
> 
> ...


Excuse me I'm well aged and I'm sure I'm human and libido is rife!!! Think ur generalizing buddy lol


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Delhi said:


> blah lab blah blah lol
> 
> a woman's perspective is always going to be wrong here. This is a male requirement, no analysing and psychology nonsense. It's REALLY simple what he needs to do. Dump her...this will have one of the two following effects.
> 
> ...


I actually agree to some extent ( yes u can smile unusual huh? Not really I do sometimes agree with men ). I agree men shouldn't beg for sex and women shouldn't use that tool but they do. It's not HER duty but I agree she should want to please u there's a visa versa in there too that u missed! As for pleasing self ...most women don't even bother and that's partly their problem.

My personal view is ... I would want to please my partner there's no turn on to me holding it back or using it to bargain with..stupid. But that's because I'd miss out too and I'm like an angry bear without it :death: but the usual issue for me is demanding too much maybe I Actually need of this shut down gear :lol:


----------



## Lotte (Feb 10, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> Lol this is kind of defending the woman....I think it's rubbish personally this is someone who is mid twenties has no medical issue hasn't expressed a desire to go to the docs and sort it and has openly admitted ' i did it when we first met to keep u' ....sounds like a girl who can't be ****d to me...not saying ditch her but this guy is 24 for goodness sake why should he hold fire with sex drive seems odd to me if he did. If it was an older couple I can see there could be different issues. If there's no sex it's easier to deal with and understand if there's a reason behind it but in this case there doesn't seem to be ...but ur right he's up the creek without a paddle literally lol


I can see that I've made it sound like I think all of that myself and hate sex... it's the other way around. Bitter experience talking


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Loveleelady said:


> are you mad crazy for her?


i dumped my 1st mrs cuz i was just bored, my 2nd was pure evil and had to go and i did it with ease, i was back out dating a few days after but this one i cant even think in my mind of splitting up with her. everything else is perfect.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Lotte said:


> I can see that I've made it sound like I think all of that myself and hate sex... it's the other way around. Bitter experience talking


Lol nah I just thought u felt sorry for her ( maybe u do) but as she's only in her twenties I was thinking more she's prob just abit lazy with it.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> i dumped my 1st mrs cuz i was just bored, my 2nd was pure evil and had to go and i did it with ease, i was back out dating a few days after but this one i cant even think in my mind of splitting up with her. everything else is perfect.


What about kids is she going to,want them..I mean at least if u know this ..there will be a day on earth when Harrison gets laid and UKM can cheer him on....but u might have forgotten how to bump and grind by then... Lol


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

G-man99 said:


> Went through something a bit similar several years into my relationship.
> 
> After lots of discussions, moods etc, the biggest part was the actual lack of attention and affection that I was showing towards her and actually trying to blame her for the problem.
> 
> ...


i used to mate but like i said i have tried different things that many times and been knocked back i just cba with the hassle of trying cuz i know the answer before i start. if we do have sex now its on the odd occasion she wants it so i let her start it. of course i've said little mean things over the times but nothing to make her think im putting her down etc.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> What about kids is she going to,want them..I mean at least if u know this ..there will be a day on earth when Harrison gets laid and UKM can cheer him on....but u might have forgotten how to bump and grind by then... Lol


yeah we both want kids and how she talks she wants em now but in reality we are waiting to get our own place 1st before kids. well if we do want kids its gotta be a quick easy pregnancy, if one of us has problems and we have to have charts and thermometers and many times a day we are never gonna get a kid.

sex used to be fun, my mind used to be filthy but now i imagine i could sit by an 80 year old man and talk about his sex life and have loads in common lol


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## EctoSize (Nov 28, 2013)

My ex didnt seem interested in sex! We were together 3.5 years and lived together for about 9 months and whist living together I was getting it once every 1-2 weeks, and tbh it was just sex, no connection or anything! That's not the sole reason she's my ex but it's one of them!

There's a lot of factors that could be causing it that apply to both of you! Try and encourage her to go the docs (this worked for my mate who was having the same problem; turned out it was his gfs pill causing it) this will probably be an awkward convo and she might get defensive but it's got to be done. Also explore a few ways of trying to turn her on; buy her a sexy outfit, light some candles, give her a massage, take a bath together! Even just taking her out for a walk and holding her hand and telling her shes beautiful and talk about good times you've had, this will get her relaxed and when you get home try and start things up!

I think as long as you do everything on your part then you will be in a better position to make a decision regarding whether you want to carry on the relationship.


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

I've been in relationships like this, it's funny when they finally decide they do want it, then you knock them back or say you're not in the mood, then it's the end of the world and you don't love them any more or think they're ugly etc etc, it's perfectly acceptable for her to say no time and time again though, a bloke is just meant to swallow his pride.

I would recommend seeing a 'pro', no complications, just get it out the way, once you've shot your bolt you'll feel much better and have a clear head again, your mrs will never need to know.

Women would probably disagree, but this is the best solution if everything else about the relationship is perfect and you've explored every avenue to increase her libido. A man is naturally programmed to be sexually active, it's his soul purpose in life to procreate.


----------



## rfclee (May 12, 2013)

Archaic said:


> I have a 3yr and a 2yr old, I've been with mrs over 5 years and have sex 3-4 times a week, I think that's about average after being with someone a while??
> 
> If I only had it twice in one week I'd prob be frustrated. If I had it none, I'd be off dogging.


that's just showing off mate


----------



## Hera (May 6, 2011)

I sometimes share the opinion that a couple's sex life can be a symptom of the relationship. Not always...some people can just have mismatched sex drives but very frequently, aspects of a relationship can be unhelpful for a sex life e.g. couples not spending quality time together (this is so common in so many relationships).

If it were me, I'd explore why they were never in the mood. Quite often, women have a need to feel emotionally close to their partner (which helps them want to be physically close) and men have a need to feel physically close (which helps them want to feel emotionally close); so both needs need to be met.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Tommy10 said:


> Whenever someone asks me what forms the best relationship , I always say love and lust ,
> 
> You HAVE to have both to sustain a great relationship , your far too young to accept this, I think your scared to leave?
> 
> ...


and again i agree with everything said here. i am afraid to leave, she is my 1st real love, i had two before her but they never came close to how i feel about this one. there is love but no lust in this relationship


----------



## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Ohhh nooooo I can't be a bit on the side I gave to be the main meal..can't play second fiddle to anyone.
> 
> It's not surprising u have no ex drive either tho ur prob rubbing off each other but in the wrong way lol


Not read the rest of the thread since my input at the start but how many times do you get torn into a week Skye ? My Gf is pretty much every time i see her which is 4 x a week, weekend and if I am hung over can be between 2-5 times, not all sex, or if its just a normal week day then just the once


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## Robbie789 (Sep 6, 2012)

Tell her you want to go on a break, give it a couple weeks, make up, then if nothing changes find someone else.


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## 00alawre (Feb 23, 2014)

My mrs wears me out so much I have to eat a post workout meal three times a day.

All joking aside, find out what warms her loins - if you already know how, do it more. Push the boat out and try new things to excite her. Talk dirty to her, touch her more, show you want her.

Relationships take effort both physically and mentally. As long as you want the relationship and show you are trying, you cant do much more.


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

Tommy10 said:


> Whenever someone asks me what forms the best relationship , I always say love and lust ,
> 
> You HAVE to have both to sustain a great relationship , your far too young to accept this, I think your scared to leave?
> 
> ...


This sounds like a cop out to me....to walk away when an aspect of your relationship requires some work? What about working together to establish a relationship where you're both satisfied? Relationships aren't always perfect and that includes the sex life.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

EctoSize said:


> My ex didnt seem interested in sex! We were together 3.5 years and lived together for about 9 months and whist living together I was getting it once every 1-2 weeks, and tbh it was just sex, no connection or anything! That's not the sole reason she's my ex but it's one of them!
> 
> There's a lot of factors that could be causing it that apply to both of you! Try and encourage her to go the docs (this worked for my mate who was having the same problem; turned out it was his gfs pill causing it) this will probably be an awkward convo and she might get defensive but it's got to be done. Also explore a few ways of trying to turn her on; buy her a sexy outfit, light some candles, give her a massage, take a bath together! Even just taking her out for a walk and holding her hand and telling her shes beautiful and talk about good times you've had, this will get her relaxed and when you get home try and start things up!
> 
> I think as long as you do everything on your part then you will be in a better position to make a decision regarding whether you want to carry on the relationship.


tried it all mate, at college i used to be that confident in myself i'd flirt with any girl and most the time succeed but that was just a show to make my mates laugh. i have tried all my good stuff on my mrs over the years but nothing turns her on.

but my mrs is on the pill and you have bought that up. does the pill kill sex drive then?


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

00alawre said:


> My mrs wears me out so much I have to eat a post workout meal three times a day.
> 
> All joking aside, find out what warms her loins - if you already know how, do it more. Push the boat out and try new things to excite her. Talk dirty to her, touch her more, show you want her.
> 
> Relationships take effort both physically and mentally. As long as you want the relationship and show you are trying, you cant do much more.


I agree with most of this; if there's a willingness from both parties to work together to improve the relationship then great...that's what a relationship is about; working together.

However, if a woman isn't in the mood then sometimes, superficial acts such as being touched more or dirty talk can just make the situation worse! I don't think women are quite so easily won over, especially if there is a deeper, emotional issue.


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## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

woo her, take her out, remind her why she found you attractive in the first place and let her know how much you find her attractive.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Hera said:


> I sometimes share the opinion that a couple's sex life can be a symptom of the relationship. Not always...some people can just have mismatched sex drives but very frequently, aspects of a relationship can be unhelpful for a sex life e.g. couples not spending quality time together (this is so common in so many relationships).
> 
> If it were me, I'd explore why they were never in the mood. Quite often, women have a need to feel emotionally close to their partner (which helps them want to be physically close) and men have a need to feel physically close (which helps them want to feel emotionally close); so both needs need to be met.


so its just women have to be awkward then?  lol.

we spend all our time being close but i may aswell just be a teddy bear cuz i do is cuddle. we go for walks we do loads together but im not even allowed to try and turn her on most the times.

we will be in bed, ill start kissing her etc and all i'll get is "it's not happening"


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## 00alawre (Feb 23, 2014)

Hera said:


> I agree with most of this; if there's a willingness from both parties to work together to improve the relationship then great...that's what a relationship is about; working together.
> 
> However, if a woman isn't in the mood then sometimes, superficial acts such as being touched more or dirty talk can just make the situation worse! I don't think women are quite so easily won over, especially if there is a deeper, emotional issue.


Oh of course, I mean you don't want to come off like a sex pest :lol: I just mean if theres hardly any physical affection at the moment, try increasing it a little. I find my woman likes to feel wanted, and sometimes if she's in a bad mood, being affectionate brings her out of it


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## EctoSize (Nov 28, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> tried it all mate, at college i used to be that confident in myself i'd flirt with any girl and most the time succeed but that was just a show to make my mates laugh. i have tried all my good stuff on my mrs over the years but nothing turns her on.
> 
> but my mrs is on the pill and you have bought that up. *does the pill kill sex drive then?*


No not in general, there different types of pill and it affects the individual differently, fixed up my mates gf anyway, definitely something you two should explore!


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

harrison180 said:


> so its just women have to be awkward then?  lol.
> 
> we spend all our time being close but i may aswell just be a teddy bear cuz i do is cuddle. we go for walks we do loads together but im not even allowed to try and turn her on most the times.
> 
> we will be in bed, ill start kissing her etc and all i'll get is "it's not happening"


I do think that sexual desire for women can be much more complicated than it is for men. It's taken me years to figure out what gets me in the mood!! And it can be different things depending on my mood, hormones, time of day, what's happening in my life etc...we're complicated creatures! :laugh:

Is she open to talking about it with you and exploring how to change things? A crucial factor in this will be if she's willing to improve things together. The comment 'just find someone else then' is often a defensive reaction. Perhaps she feels hurt and helpless at resolving the problem? She might not know why she isn't in the mood and so might have just resigned herself to being the way she is? I wouldn't be surprised if not matching your sex drive has affected her sense of security in the relationship...a fear that you might go elsewhere and cheat because she can't offer you what you want...which would be horrible for her.

But I could be way off!! You'll only find out by talking to her openly.



00alawre said:


> Oh of course, I mean you don't want to come off like a sex pest :lol: I just mean if theres hardly any physical affection at the moment, try increasing it a little. I find my woman likes to feel wanted, and sometimes if she's in a bad mood, being affectionate brings her out of it


Ha ha, ok. I didn't want him to get bitten!! :laugh: My hubby has learned that if I'm in a bad mood, groping at me doesn't help! :lol: Although sometimes he does it just to p!ss me off!


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

Sams said:


> You should cheat mate, if anyone ever had a valid reason its you.
> 
> I would do it respectfully and use an escort service then it cant affect you relationship with the factor of you getting feelings or the other woman.


This. She gave you the go ahead. It's only gonna be an issue if she finds out. So get some part time gash. Sleeping with somebody else is no reflection on your feelings for her or your capabilities as a partner. You can still be a good man, good partner, good father and **** other women from time to time.


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

harrison180 said:


> so its just women have to be awkward then?  lol.
> 
> we spend all our time being close but i may aswell just be a teddy bear cuz i do is cuddle. we go for walks we do loads together but im not even allowed to try and turn her on most the times.
> 
> we will be in bed, ill start kissing her etc and all i'll get is "it's not happening"


It's over mate, finish it, there's nothing else to say.

She hasn't got the balls to do it so is waiting for you to do it.


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## IronJohnDoe (Oct 17, 2013)

PHMG said:


> Never
> 
> Been shutdown. Women are fundamental the same. Just requires different paths to get to the final destination. I'm sorry you doing appear skilled enough to achieve this.
> 
> Don't worry though you might pick it up at some point


*THIS. *



WilsonR6 said:


> You've never been shut down so you don't know what it feels like to be physically unable to get horny due to your hormones not being in the right place
> 
> To put it in simple terms, it doesn't and cannot happen no matter how much effort you put in
> 
> ...


I think if you had problems to get horny (due to hormones or wathever) we are sorry for you but there is no need to offend other people who simply disagree with you, just saying.


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

Hera said:


> I sometimes share the opinion that a couple's sex life can be a symptom of the relationship. Not always...some people can just have mismatched sex drives but very frequently, aspects of a relationship can be unhelpful for a sex life e.g. couples not spending quality time together (this is so common in so many relationships).
> 
> If it were me, I'd explore why they were never in the mood. Quite often, women have a need to feel emotionally close to their partner (which helps them want to be physically close) and men have a need to feel physically close (which helps them want to feel emotionally close); so both needs need to be met.


I spent ages trying to "fix" my ex gf who's sex drive just dissapeared id get the "I don't know why I'm like this" etc all the time and "not tonight" turned out the relationship was done, I was just unaware of that fact.

Turned out she was cheating and id been being mr nice guy trying to woo her back in to bed, showing affection and being shut down instantly.

Honestly if a girl isn't interested in sex she's not not your girlfriend she's a ex girlfriend your clinging on to. If it goes past a month at a young age without it just bale, as it's probably not gonna improve and your just getting out before you argue get bitter and hate each other


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

gycraig said:


> I spent ages trying to "fix" my ex gf who's sex drive just dissapeared id get the "I don't know why I'm like this" etc all the time and "not tonight" turned out the relationship was done, I was just unaware of that fact.
> 
> Turned out she was cheating and id been being mr nice guy trying to woo her back in to bed, showing affection and being shut down instantly.
> 
> Honestly if a girl isn't interested in sex she's not not your girlfriend she's a ex girlfriend your clinging on to. If it goes past a month at a young age without it just bale, as it's probably not gonna improve and your just getting out before you argue get bitter and hate each other


You seem to be implying that it's almost fact that the relationship is over if a woman loses her sex drive. My personal experience proves that it isn't a fact. Yours is an example of one scenario, of which there are many.

People on an internet forum can speculate as much a they like about why someones girlfriend has a reduced sex drive, but the truth can only be found by those in the relationship; by communicating openly and honestly.

Or, as with many relationships, they can just bail and move on.


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

IGotTekkers said:


> This. She gave you the go ahead. It's only gonna be an issue if she finds out. So get some part time gash. Sleeping with somebody else is no reflection on your feelings for her or your capabilities as a partner. You can still be a good man, good partner, good father and **** other women from time to time.


This is 100% spot on, I just don't know why this attitude isn't openly accepted by the majority of society, would be so much easier and the OP wouldn't have a problem.

It's just a physical thing for a bloke most of the time, as I already said, once he's shot his bolt into someone else, he'd feel 100% better instantly, and go back to the caring, loving partner he obviously is.


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## Guest (May 14, 2014)

My misses is a machine, not good when I used to pct or use Deca.

Not great when my letro kicks in before the test either, she sticks by though.

Surprised she has a bean left tbh lol.


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## rb79 (Mar 7, 2012)

naturalun said:


> Haha well I dunno, she has to be "in the mood" for it, it's always planned sex... Now if and she rarely does but sometimes does, spur of the moment asks if I want sex... HELL YEAH! I ask her everyday and she says no lol. Damnit!


you have described my missus to a tee.. hardly ever spontaneous, has to be in the mood.. we don't really plan it as she says 'I don't know if ill be in the mood or not' ive gone months without before now.. it has got some what better.. once a week if im lucky but can go a few weeks still with out


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## Xelibrium (May 7, 2013)

Same problem here least im not alone in this and you cnuts are missing out too 

Ive been with mine over a year, sex is a argumentative subject, promised me a blowjob last night did i recieve? did i heck... did i expect it? not really but i did try it on the response was "your missing important plots in the film" like i gave a t*ss!


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Xelibrium said:


> Same problem here least im not alone in this and you cnuts are missing out too
> 
> Ive been with mine over a year, sex is a argumentative subject, promised me a blowjob last night did i recieve? did i heck... did i expect it? not really but i did try it on the response was "your missing important plots in the film" like i gave a t*ss!


To me sex has to be spontaneous, scheduled sex sounds like a fvcking chore, and when sex is a chore you're with the wrong person.

Once you don't want to fvck someone or they don't want to fvck you that relationship is over and it's time to move on.


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## SK50 (Apr 7, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Excuse me I'm well aged and I'm sure I'm human and libido is rife!!! Think ur generalizing buddy lol


Edited to be more clear:

It is an inarguable fact that, as a general rule, as humans age libido declines. Particularly when 60+

I didn't say that when people hit middle age they lose their sex drive.


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## Xelibrium (May 7, 2013)

Smitch said:


> To me sex has to be spontaneous, scheduled sex sounds like a fvcking chore, and when sex is a chore you're with the wrong person.
> 
> Once you don't want to fvck someone or they don't want to fvck you that relationship is over and it's time to move on.


I see what your saying Smitch! weve been in and out few times.. always ends up " i love you and i love sex but i dont want it 24/7" 2 n half months i had waited last week before i got ewt.


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Quite simple one this : if no kids, bail it instantly. If there are kids, then it is more difficult. I had this situation with my missus after 2 kids and I told her truthfully, engage or I'll end up straying. Soon sorted that one out


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## bogbrush (Sep 19, 2013)

you all a big bunch of horney fvckers!

i can go more than 2 months, and don't consider anything wrong.

starting to question wether i should check test levels:laugh:

its never been a big thing to me. (sex)


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Xelibrium said:


> I see what your saying Smitch! weve been in and out few times.. always ends up " i love you and i love sex but i dont want it 24/7" 2 n half months i had waited last week before i got ewt.


It's a bit of a cop out though isn't it.

Do you really love her that much, or is it just easier to stay with her and better the devil you know?

I went through it all with my ex, yeah i loved her, but wasn't in love with her, if i was then we'd have been sleeping together. I was the one that lost interest so i see it from that side, the more she tried to push me into sex the more it drove me away.

Breaking up is tough and takes guts, which is why people stay in stale relationships cos it's the easy option.


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## Fortunatus (Apr 12, 2013)

my ex was like this, caused so many arguments, my new one however Is a nympho and wants it night and day even after the "honey moon period"


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## Fortunatus (Apr 12, 2013)

reading all this posts is quality. I wonder how many of us are unaware our girlfriends/wifes check out browsing history and what we're doing! could be a few breakups in the air

EDIT: infact I think all those complaining about their sex life but also saying how much they love their girlfriends should "accidently on purpose" leave this thread open on the pc and let the girlfriend see it. might be "arrrr he loves me so much and has told a load of big juicy bodybuilders, sexy time"


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Fortunatus said:


> reading all this posts is quality. I wonder how many of us are unaware our girlfriends/wifes check out browsing history and what we're doing! could be a few breakups in the air
> 
> EDIT: infact I think all those complaining about their sex life but also saying how much they love their girlfriends should "accidently on purpose" leave this thread open on the pc and let the girlfriend see it. might be "arrrr he loves me so much and has told a load of big juicy bodybuilders, sexy time"


My gf found pictures of me being exchanged with someone else from over 9 months ago. So ive nothing left to lose anyway.


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## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

IronJohnDoe said:


> *THIS. *
> 
> I think if you had problems to get horny (due to hormones or wathever) we are sorry for you but there is no need to offend other people who simply disagree with you, just saying.


What? Can't even tell if you are serious?


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## JR8908 (Aug 17, 2012)

Wow a lot of guys on here with girls who have a low sex drive!

Or

A lot of guys on here full of test with a crazy sex drive and high expectations

My current girlfriend doesn't have a sex drive at all. I got with her and came off aas and my sex drive dissapeared. But I think a lot of my lost sex drive comes from the cold sexless vibes she gives off. It in turn, kills mine.

Now on trt dose I still don't have much of a drive because I know she doesn't want it. A big part of having sex for me is knowing she wants it and desires it with me. If it feels like she's putting out just for me then I'd rather not bother.

So now we are both just cold towards each other and at a stalemate. Almost broken up a few times over it now and it feels like it will end up that way. Like many have said, feels just like friends without it and my self esteem is rock bottom not having someone desiring sex with me or ever initiating it.


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

@harrison180 I second what Ectosize said about the pill. It destroyed my libido, all I wanted to do was cuddle, I was never in the mood for sex though.

Changed to a different one and it started to come back but it still took about 6 months to get back to normal.

BTW a lot of doctors don't seem to view the loss of libido as a "serious" side effect of the pill. I had to pretty damn insistent that I wasn't prepared to put up with it for them to pay attention and change the pill.


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

JR8908 said:


> Wow a lot of guys on here with girls who have a low sex drive!
> 
> Or
> 
> ...


Why are you still with her if you feel like friends ? You deserve passion in your life


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Smitch said:


> It's over mate, finish it, there's nothing else to say.
> 
> She hasn't got the balls to do it so is waiting for you to do it.


id agree with you mate except for the rest of it. she is loving and all the rest its not like we are arguing every second and she says she is happy theres just rarely any sex. i could cheat like others have mentiond but i couldnt do it. i'd get guilty willy syndrome lol.

i dunno how to end it and dont really want to i just want her to make more effort. i cant talk to her about it i just get shut out.


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

harrison180 said:


> id agree with you mate except for the rest of it. she is loving and all the rest its not like we are arguing every second and she says she is happy theres just rarely any sex. i could cheat like others have mentiond but i couldnt do it. i'd get guilty willy syndrome lol.
> 
> i dunno how to end it and dont really want to i just want her to make more effort. i cant talk to her about it i just get shut out.


Are you in love with her and is she in love with you? If the answer is no then end it. You can love friends but it doesn't mean you're in a relationship with them.

And if she doesn't want to talk about issues in the relationship then she can't want to fix stuff so the "relationship" can't mean that much to her.

I've been there twice with a 4 year and a 5 year relationship, you do all the usual couple stuff, have the odd cuddle etc but there is just zero sexual attraction which marks the end of the relationship.

You're 24, these are issues you simply should not tolerate at that age, if you've been with someone 10 plus years and have kids then maybe, but it's just not normal behaviour is it?


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## JR8908 (Aug 17, 2012)

gycraig said:


> Why are you still with her if you feel like friends ? You deserve passion in your life


I really don't know, she never gets me going at it's depressing me. To look at her she is the full package, everything I want, and she's steady and reliable and homely and just a stunning great girl. I love her and she did everything in bed for the first 2-3 months, now it's just crap, just nothing.

Just a bit of filth and the odd sexual gesture or grope or request would be amazing but there's nothing.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Gym Bunny said:


> @harrison180 I second what Ectosize said about the pill. It destroyed my libido, all I wanted to do was cuddle, I was never in the mood for sex though.
> 
> Changed to a different one and it started to come back but it still took about 6 months to get back to normal.
> 
> BTW a lot of doctors don't seem to view the loss of libido as a "serious" side effect of the pill. I had to pretty damn insistent that I wasn't prepared to put up with it for them to pay attention and change the pill.


the last one she was on was affecting her blood pressure so they changed it but nothing seems to of got better or worse sex drive wise. its not been 6 months yet tho.


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Wow, so many people in dead end sexless relationships.

In this day and age with it being so easy to meet people you'd think people wouldn't stand for it, must be a lot of very insecure people out there.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Smitch said:


> Are you in love with her and is she in love with you? If the answer is no then end it. You can love friends but it doesn't mean you're in a relationship with them.
> 
> And if she doesn't want to talk about issues in the relationship then she can't want to fix stuff so the "relationship" can't mean that much to her.
> 
> ...


i no your right mate. i do love her but we aint like we were 4 years ago but i just assumed it was cuz i got into a routine and we got used to eachother. i dont like change thats my problem, i got into a routine and i'll be honest my brain has a fit if i think about changing my whole life lol.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

JR8908 said:


> Wow a lot of guys on here with girls who have a low sex drive!
> 
> Or
> 
> ...


yep no sexual activity from the other person does stamp your sex drive down pretty quick.


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

gycraig said:


> I spent ages trying to "fix" my ex gf who's sex drive just dissapeared id get the "I don't know why I'm like this" etc all the time and "not tonight" turned out the relationship was done, I was just unaware of that fact.
> 
> Turned out she was cheating and id been being mr nice guy trying to woo her back in to bed, showing affection and being shut down instantly.
> 
> Honestly if a girl isn't interested in sex she's not not your girlfriend she's a ex girlfriend your clinging on to. If it goes past a month at a young age without it just bale, as it's probably not gonna improve and your just getting out before you argue get bitter and hate each other


Exactly this - exact same thing happened to me.


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

Smitch said:


> Wow, so many people in dead end sexless relationships.
> 
> In this day and age with it being so easy to meet people you'd think people wouldn't stand for it, must be a lot of very insecure people out there.


I guess it depends on how much importance people place on sex. Some people don't want to risk everything else that's good for the sake of sex. Whereas for other people, sex is important above all else. I can completely see why some people choose to, I guess 'sacrifice' full sexual satisfaction for the sake of an incredible relationship in all other aspects. I think most people make a compromise somewhere in a long term relationship and I guess that for some, that compromise is in the bedroom.


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## GGLynch89 (Mar 6, 2014)

Here I go again with my experience, swear to god you would think I am 45 not 25.

I havent read throug whole thread so apologies if idea has been said or similar ****.

ANYWAY!

My missus has had two kids and her sex drive was non existant I got ****ed off just like you, started messaging birds etc, never cheated but I came so foking close. I was out on the town one night got chatting to a couple women after a few drinks this utter milf was explaining that sex drives in women go up and down like a YoYo and that its all about keeping things, kinky and fresh. "so what do i do Mrs Milf?".

She said go to Anne Summers buy some things you think you and your missus could use and give it to her as a gift.

The missus had confidence issues due to her body etc, so I took that into account.

Got, a clone your c0ck kit, baby doll that covered her in places she wasnt happy with, vibrators, lubes all this mad **** and put it on the bed for when she got in...safe to say her sex drive soon turned into a fvcking farrari, but it still goes up and down like a yoyo. for example the past few days she has been hopping on me like a rabbit in heat when ever she gets chance but nothing for a week before that.

If you love her, dont cheat, just do what you can to spice things up (dont tip tobassco sauce on her minge) it dont work.

if it gets too much and you cant talk about it without arguing then leave her.

(now imagine me saying that in one breath)


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

GGLynch89 said:


> Here I go again with my experience, swear to god you would think I am 45 not 25.
> 
> I havent read throug whole thread so apologies if idea has been said or similar ****.
> 
> ...


tried to get into ann summers mate, theres a sex shop down the road from me but nope we aint going.


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## GGLynch89 (Mar 6, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> tried to get into ann summers mate, theres a sex shop down the road from me but nope we aint going.


so YOU go then, I didnt take her with me I just went in like a sexual predator asked the staff what i should get and baught the stuff I thought she would like.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

GGLynch89 said:


> so YOU go then, I didnt take her with me I just went in like a sexual predator asked the staff what i should get and baught the stuff I thought she would like.


cuz i no for a fact she wont wear or use anything mate. we were in boots once and i put some of that tingly lube in the basket. i did it just to see what the reaction would be eg if she left it in atleast there was this thought of using it but she picked it up and said "i dont think so" then put it back.


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Don't mean to pry OP, but do you make her orgasm every time you have sex? If no, then that will add to her lack of desire for sex.


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## GGLynch89 (Mar 6, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> cuz i no for a fact she wont wear or use anything mate. we were in boots once and i put some of that tingly lube in the basket. i did it just to see what the reaction would be eg if she left it in atleast there was this thought of using it but she picked it up and said "i dont think so" then put it back.


**** the bed, is she depressed? have confidence issues? you need to find a way of talking about it. If she isnt willing to talk about it without getting ****y then tell just make sure you put across how you feel about it and that its not what you want. tell her you arnt happy and will leave if thats what it comes to, because lets be honest its not just about the sex, its about feeling wanted by your other half and bonding through sex. If all else fails bud, ask yourself, am I happy? if your arnt then isnt it more important that you are?

Yours sincerley

Diarie Barlow.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Archaic said:


> Don't mean to pry OP, but do you make her orgasm every time you have sex? If no, then that will add to her lack of desire for sex.


when we do have sex mate she is the easiest girl i've been with to make orgasm. she gets a few off before i fire off. thats what baffles me, if it was crap sex on my part id understand.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

GGLynch89 said:


> **** the bed, is she depressed? have confidence issues? you need to find a way of talking about it. If she isnt willing to talk about it without getting ****y then tell just make sure you put across how you feel about it and that its not what you want. tell her you arnt happy and will leave if thats what it comes to, because lets be honest its not just about the sex, its about feeling wanted by your other half and bonding through sex. If all else fails bud, ask yourself, am I happy? if your arnt then isnt it more important that you are?
> 
> Yours sincerley
> 
> Diarie Barlow.


nope not depressed or anythin mate. i need to get us both somewhere where she has no choice but to talk to me. i have told her i'll leave and she just says go then or something like that.


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

PHMG said:


> You really are taking this very seriously arnt you :lol:
> 
> I've only slept with a 3 women to be honest so I don't even know haha.


And 1 guy


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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

harrison180 said:


> when we do have sex mate she is the easiest girl i've been with to make orgasm. she gets a few off before i fire off. thats what baffles me, if it was crap sex on my part id understand.


You might not have heard this before, but some women have been known to fake it.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Ian_Montrose said:


> You might not have heard this before, but some women have been known to fake it.


haha i no mate. if she does fake it she has amazing control of her muscles and other things lol.


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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

harrison180 said:


> nope not depressed or anythin mate. i need to get us both somewhere where she has no choice but to talk to me. i have told her i'll leave and she just says go then or something like that.


Have you thought about suggesting relationship counselling? Sounds extreme maybe, but if you care enough about the relationship it might be worth a shot.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Ian_Montrose said:


> Have you thought about suggesting relationship counselling? Sounds extreme maybe, but if you care enough about the relationship it might be worth a shot.


cuz i aint paying to get what im gettin for free here mate lol. i dont want some uni numpty i need people who are there and have had relationships like this.

if i cant get it sorted i guess i'll just have to grow a pair if she is not willing to sort it out


----------



## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

Joseph fritzel never had any of these problems.


----------



## GGLynch89 (Mar 6, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> nope not depressed or anythin mate. i need to get us both somewhere where she has no choice but to talk to me. i have told her i'll leave and she just says go then or something like that.


I know this is an utter change of tune but sack her off, "Go then" thats basically saying I dont want to be in a relationship.

Dont cheat, just leave her, she has nothing on you then. I dont want to be the Cvnt of bad news but she could be getting it else where.

So tell her your off explain why and see what she says then, you literally have to leave a bish before she gets that it is actually happening.


----------



## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

harrison180 said:


> when we do have sex mate she is the easiest girl i've been with to make orgasm. she gets a few off before i fire off. thats what baffles me, if it was crap sex on my part id understand.


Next time she wants sex turn her down, just say you ain't feeling horny. It won't be easy, but if a bird thinks she can't have it, she will want it even more. Doesn't take allot to throw the female brain off kilter.

Might want to think about calling it a day with her to before she drags your self-esteem down more than she already has mate. Plenty of women out there like that, I put up with it for years in the past before going elsewhere.


----------



## GGLynch89 (Mar 6, 2014)

sneeky_dave said:


> Joseph fritzel never had any of these problems.


want to see my basement den? LOOL


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Archaic said:


> Next time she wants sex turn her down, just say you ain't feeling horny. It won't be easy, but if a bird thinks she can't have it, she will want it even more. Doesn't take allot to throw the female brain off kilter.
> 
> Might want to think about calling it a day with her to before she drags your self-esteem down more than she already has mate. Plenty of women out there like that, I put up with it for years in the past before going elsewhere.


if i turn it down she keeps trying etc yet if i do it i just get a moody cow if i keep trying. i have even stopped half way through the act just to prove a point.

dont think my self esteem can get lower mate.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

GGLynch89 said:


> I know this is an utter change of tune but sack her off, "Go then" thats basically saying I dont want to be in a relationship.
> 
> Dont cheat, just leave her, she has nothing on you then. I dont want to be the Cvnt of bad news but she could be getting it else where.
> 
> So tell her your off explain why and see what she says then, you literally have to leave a bish before she gets that it is actually happening.


i cant cheat mate cuz i dunno what to do anymore haha. she aint cheating cuz she aint got time to. i'd like to leave for abit see if it has effect but for some sad reason i cant.


----------



## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

Tommy10 said:


> And 1 guy


4. But I wore a jonny so doesn't count.


----------



## GGLynch89 (Mar 6, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> i cant cheat mate cuz i dunno what to do anymore haha. she aint cheating cuz she aint got time to. i'd like to leave for abit see if it has effect but for some sad reason i cant.


Yes you can, just pack a bag, find somehwere you can lay your hat for a bit and leave. What is holding you back? If its just the relationship or hold she has on you. cut loose, go dip ya wick.


----------



## Hera (May 6, 2011)

Ian_Montrose said:


> Have you thought about suggesting relationship counselling? Sounds extreme maybe, but if you care enough about the relationship it might be worth a shot.


I was just about to suggest this. Relate specialsie in relationship counseling and sex is a topic that features heavily in their work because it's such a common problem in relationships.

Encouraging her to talk is essential IMO...communication is key in relationships and there has to be willingness by both parties to work at improving the relationship.

Would she perhaps talk if you calmly stated that you're not happy and rather than walk away you want to work at it together because you love her?


----------



## Xelibrium (May 7, 2013)

Maybe were just not taking enough steroids, we should look after our women with chiseled physiques... Pft.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Hera said:


> I was just about to suggest this. Relate specialsie in relationship counseling and sex is a topic that features heavily in their work because it's such a common problem in relationships.
> 
> Encouraging her to talk is essential IMO...communication is key in relationships and there has to be willingness by both parties to work at improving the relationship.
> 
> Would she perhaps talk if you calmly stated that you're not happy and rather than walk away you want to work at it together because you love her?


i just get told "you no where the door is" and that sort of stuff. theres not much i havent tried.


----------



## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

harrison180 said:


> cuz i aint paying to get what im gettin for free here mate lol. i dont want some uni numpty i need people who are there and have had relationships like this.
> 
> if i cant get it sorted i guess i'll just have to grow a pair if she is not willing to sort it out


Thing is, you're not getting what you really need here and that is full and open communication between the two of you. A trained counselor will get you both talking and whilst they can't ensure a resolution they can certainly guide you towards it.


----------



## skipper1987 (May 1, 2013)

3X week on average i get it wish she would put out more after reading this thread am starting to think my girlfriend has not got a low sex drive but i have issues!!


----------



## skipper1987 (May 1, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Oh my lord!!!!! Firstly I thought U were older than 24 how old is the mrs????
> 
> Some of my female friends are like this but I just don't get it tbh. Ok it get they might not always want sex if their with a sex beast but if they don't want it I still they can offer up something to keep their man happy...hand job here and there etc ..just something!!!
> 
> I don't have this problem Infact it's the other way round and I'm he moody mare who finds the guy is a once twice a week type and that's frustrating


Finally a women who gets it!!! U sound a right women!!

il admit tho am never happy at least 3x week i get it and in them 3xweek we will go a few times etc but its never enough. Maybe its not my partner with a low sex.drive its me with sexual nymph issues??


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## Wheyman (Sep 6, 2011)

no such thing, she just doesnt fancy you


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

harrison180 said:


> i just get told "you no where the door is" and that sort of stuff. theres not much i havent tried.


Use the door then, she's basically telling you it's over.

I was having a row with my ex and she said "I don't know why we even bother any more" and i called her bluff and said "You know what, neither do i".

After that i stuck to my guns and a month later she'd moved out.

Wasn't easy but we both knew deep down things were going nowhere. I've shagged about 20 birds in the last year of singledom and have now found a gorgeous bird that absolutely adores me and sex life couldn't be better.

Life's too short.


----------



## wat_is_this (Jun 26, 2013)

If she doesn't give the impression that she's gonna change about the whole thing, and you aren't happy with the way things are, seems like a deal breaker to me..


----------



## Jamestuala (Apr 16, 2014)

You could always wait until she's asleep


----------



## Guest (May 14, 2014)

Thinking about it, I've never been in a relationship in which they've not been gagging for it.

Sounds like I've been quite lucky.


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

PHMG said:


> 4. But I wore a jonny so doesn't count.


Mirrin


----------



## CPsteve (Dec 28, 2010)

Slip some Viagra in a drink that could sort it


----------



## andyfrance001 (Jan 11, 2011)

There is some lucky buggers on here, 3-4 times per week!!! Its once a week at weekends sometimes can go two weeks no sexy time, i have a good collection of DVDs cant be ****d with messing around with other women, just couldnt do it to my mrs.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> yeah we both want kids and how she talks she wants em now but in reality we are waiting to get our own place 1st before kids. well if we do want kids its gotta be a quick easy pregnancy, if one of us has problems and we have to have charts and thermometers and many times a day we are never gonna get a kid.
> 
> sex used to be fun, my mind used to be filthy but now i imagine i could sit by an 80 year old man and talk about his sex life and have loads in common lol


Lol arrrr it's not that bad ..look u don't sound happy with the situation but u must love her or U wouldn't be there so..u just do wot makes u feel good despite wot any of us say...and we all say ..LEAVE HER :lol:


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Smitch said:


> Wow, so many people in dead end sexless relationships.
> 
> In this day and age with it being so easy to meet people you'd think people wouldn't stand for it, must be a lot of very insecure people out there.


Lol can always rely on u to get it how it is!!!! I dunno if their insecure but I think more people just seem to accept ..I wouldn't but I'm like u say it how it is ....there does seem a lot of guys in this thread though that have sex lives that come with complexities..shame when it should be the most natural thing on earth.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Sams said:


> Not read the rest of the thread since my input at the start but how many times do you get torn into a week Skye ? My Gf is pretty much every time i see her which is 4 x a week, weekend and if I am hung over can be between 2-5 times, not all sex, or if its just a normal week day then just the once


Get torn into a week?? Are u asking me how often I have sex??


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Skye666 said:


> Lol can always rely on u to get it how it is!!!! I dunno if their insecure but I think more people just seem to accept ..I wouldn't but I'm like u say it how it is ....there does seem a lot of guys in this thread though that have sex lives that come with complexities..shame when it should be the most natural thing on earth.


If you have to try that hard to make something work it's probably not meant to be!

And with the billions of people in this world why on earth would you settle for anyone less than someone that makes you happy, it just doesn't make sense.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

skipper1987 said:


> Finally a women who gets it!!! U sound a right women!!
> 
> il admit tho am never happy at least 3x week i get it and in them 3xweek we will go a few times etc but its never enough. Maybe its not my partner with a low sex.drive its me with sexual nymph issues??


Yh could be u not her... It's equally a pain wanting too much as it is not wanting it in some ways lol. I don't count in a week I count in a day then I add to that per session  it's a workout.


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## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Get torn into a week?? Are u asking me how often I have sex??


Yes, sorry its a common saying in Essex, so just say/type it without thinking that the other person might not know what it means


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

SK50 said:


> Edited to be more clear:
> 
> It is an inarguable fact that, as a general rule, as humans age libido declines. Particularly when 60+
> 
> I didn't say that when people hit middle age they lose their sex drive.


I know but I'm 61


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Sams said:


> Yes, sorry its a common saying in Essex, so just say/type it without thinking that the other person might not know what it means


Ewww what a horrible saying in Essex!!! But thanx for making it clear lol

Well I don't do one night stands or casual so can only refer to when in a relationship...I would be expecting it a couple of times per day at least but each time I need it more than 3 x ..greedy I know....it's just how I'm made so I never apologise for,that jus sulk if I don't get what I like


----------



## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Ewww what a horrible saying in Essex!!! But thanx for making it clear lol
> 
> Well I don't do one night stands or casual so can only refer to when in a relationship...I would be expecting it a couple of times per day at least but each time I need it more than 3 x ..greedy I know....it's just how I'm made so I never apologise for,that jus sulk if I don't get what I like


Thats quite a lot, luckily your on a bb forum with everyone on enough test that they would tear into their nan


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Sams said:


> Thats quite a lot, luckily your on a bb forum with everyone on enough test that they would tear into their nan


Luckily I don't want to date off the bb forum more like ... :nono:


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## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Luckily I don't want to date off the bb forum more like ... :nono:


I see your angle, sorry but I am taken, and you have stated you don't do casual or one nights stands or it could have worked, so not sure where we go from here really ?


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Sams said:


> I see your angle, sorry but I am taken, and you have stated you don't do casual or one nights stands or it could have worked, so not sure where we go from here really ?


Lol...kebab shop?


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## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Lol...kebab shop?


I see your angle again, yes I am up for going 'down the kebab shop' that way no actual penetration but still fun for both parties


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Sams said:


> I see your angle again, yes I am up for going 'down the kebab shop' that way no actual penetration but still fun for both parties


Oh noooo there's no angle...coffee means coffee kebab means kebab...and no means no!


----------



## Andrewgenic (Jul 5, 2010)

Always been loyal to my missus, I have never had any reason to stray. We have been together ages and sex is better than ever. I have a slightly higher sex drive than her but she always looks after me when she doesn't feel like it.

in all honesty I would have a very hard time being with someone who doesn't like regular sex. Got to say though its up to both parties to keep it interesting.


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## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

Heavy deadlifts may help.


----------



## Lotte (Feb 10, 2014)

Archaic said:


> Next time she wants sex turn her down, just say you ain't feeling horny.


I've tried that one (impossibly hard to do when you're desperate for it lol!) and it delivered minimal returns :sad:


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Lotte said:


> I've tried that one (impossibly hard to do when you're desperate for it lol!) and it delivered minimal returns :sad:


Serious?? Find it hard to believe you have to resort to that measure in order to get more affection from your fella!

I sometimes go through spells of low libido. Not often, maybe for a week or so a few times a year if particularly stressed or anxious about other non related things life throws up. Sods law though those spells incur when my other half is gagging for it. It makes it worse then, as it adds extra pressure, which results in extra floppyness lol. She doesn't realise that just a simple hug, 10 mins chat or so and a subtle kiss may sway my mind else where, but no, she just goes off into an attitude pout and makes me feel even sh!tier and drives libido even lower.

Dunno the case with your bf, if often or not, but he must be mad if it is! You're a good person from what I've read of your posts and have a sexy body too. Nothing worse than getting your confidence and self esteem smashed down to the floor by the one you share your life and soul with. They either compromise your morals and turn you into a cheat, or keep pushing you down until you believe you don't deserve any better.

I went with option one after 2yrs, but a whole bucket of sh!t ensued afterwards and wish I could have had the confidence to go with option 3 - just leaving.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Lol arrrr it's not that bad ..look u don't sound happy with the situation but u must love her or U wouldn't be there so..u just do wot makes u feel good despite wot any of us say...and we all say ..LEAVE HER :lol:


Lol so what do you think I should do then? 

Even I dunno what I want except for an actual sex life lol


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Well I got to thinking today as we sat on the sofa watching fvckin hollyoaks. The weekend when I see her again we are going to either talk or have the bust up to end all bust ups.

If we do end up splitting ill miss a lot of stuff and her dads like my best mate so know doubt we will stop talking etc. so I'm hoping I can make her see sence and put some effort in.


----------



## The Sweeney (May 8, 2014)

OP...

Best of luck and I hope the outcome is satisfactory for you which ever way it goes.

Life teaches you all sorts of things and how many times have you heard and old man say stuff like "If I could have my time again.. etc", but in my life's experience so far, and going on what you've said she does, doesn't do and has said, I'm afraid to say the writing's on the wall.

I've been there, had the rows, felt the frustration, tired all the talking, compromising, playing it cool, backing off, no pressure, etc, etc - what happened? She seemed happier, I got even more miserable and we had even less sex than before.

Most of us have been in relationships that when we look back and reflect upon, we realise we should've got out sooner, but either couldn't see the woods for the trees, or clung on too long for fear of being alone, or because the good stuff is SOOOO good.... which it can be with someone else too, AND have a compatible, mutually satisfying and enjoyable sex life.

I wish you well my friend.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> Lol so what do you think I should do then?
> 
> Even I dunno what I want except for an actual sex life lol


I'd ask her if she wants to see someone about it or would consider ..she might think there's no issue in which case it's worse! If she doesn't want to try and get it sorted whether it be psychological, hormonal, or maybe pill either way it needs fixing and I'm certain it can be. If she's not up for that I guess it's in ur hands..to stay with it as it is and u have said u don't have a drive urself now so it shouldn't bother u lol or have abit on the side ( I don't condone this it will come with guilt) or leave. Do u want to phone a friend????


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> I'd ask her if she wants to see someone about it or would consider ..she might think there's no issue in which case it's worse! If she doesn't want to try and get it sorted whether it be psychological, hormonal, or maybe pill either way it needs fixing and I'm certain it can be. If she's not up for that I guess it's in ur hands..to stay with it as it is and u have said u don't have a drive urself now so it shouldn't bother u lol or have abit on the side ( I don't condone this it will come with guilt) or leave. Do u want to phone a friend????


Lol I ain't got a friend to phone  .

I still get plenty of urges I just lost the drive to try that's all. I ain't got the time for someone on the side I'm trying to build my business up.

As you say if its looking like its final that she don't wana at least give it some sort of effort to change this in our relationship ill just have to grow a pair and go.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

The Sweeney said:


> OP...
> 
> Best of luck and I hope the outcome is satisfactory for you which ever way it goes.
> 
> ...


Cheers mate, your right. I have tried everything apart from professional help. The more I leave the fact the more happier she is and more miserable and unattractive I feel.


----------



## The Sweeney (May 8, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> Cheers mate, your right. I have tried everything apart from professional help. The more I leave the fact the more happier she is and more miserable and unattractive I feel.


Yep.

Professional help IMO will not change her one jot.

If you were both middle aged, had a big close knit family, shared a big house together and had a lof of life under your belt already, and the problem has only occurred recently, then that's when professional help is the correct route.

In your position fella, and please forgive me for lowering the tone somewhat, but I'd take a deep breath and look forwards to all the fun and excitement of some 'strange'.

What's to say that in 12 months time you won't strapped to the bed by a nympho who you adore but is constantly making you late for work....

I'll leave this thread now with one, and only one piece of advice that was passed down to me by a VERY wise old man who had seen and done it ALL - he said to me....

"Take the stone out of your shoe at the start of a marathon, not the end"


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Smitch said:


> If you have to try that hard to make something work it's probably not meant to be!
> 
> And with the billions of people in this world why on earth would you settle for anyone less than someone that makes you happy, it just doesn't make sense.


Totally BUT people are lazy and complacent and are scared of being alone so they settle with what they have

( not normally at the OPs age though )


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

I've been thinking about this lol

My advice is to talk to your mum , I know you said all the families were close and you feel bad about leaving ,

But what if your family actually knew you were un - happy ? I would talk it through , you don't have to go in to too much detail,

Try saying that physically there's a big problem , parents understand , they were young once !! Get advice closer to home?

No one would want you to be going through this - ask for advice , my thought would be to test her by leaving , even saying that your

Going home for a week to think things through , she would defo react to this !


----------



## frenchpress (Nov 22, 2012)

Just ditch her.

Tbh you don't need libido to give a bj or a handjob, its just mechanical.

If she genuinely just didn't feel horny, she'd have no problem getting you off without using her vagina. If she doesn't feel horny, and refuses to get you off at all, then she thinks you shouldn't feel horny at all and actually doesn't want you to get off. Thats where the problem is.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Tommy10 said:


> I've been thinking about this lol
> 
> My advice is to talk to your mum , I know you said all the families were close and you feel bad about leaving ,
> 
> ...


She would just keep us apart cuz she is a stubborn mare lol. I can't talk to my mom about this stuff mate we just have never been like that tbh. It was always my dad I went to for advice on this but as I can't now I gotta do it alone.

My mom would never let me bring a girl home if she knew I dumped my mrs for not giving me enough sex lol.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

frenchpress said:


> Just ditch her.
> 
> Tbh you don't need libido to give a bj or a handjob, its just mechanical.
> 
> If she genuinely just didn't feel horny, she'd have no problem getting you off without using her vagina. If she doesn't feel horny, and refuses to get you off at all, then she thinks you shouldn't feel horny at all and actually doesn't want you to get off. Thats where the problem is.


Sounds about right mate.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

After driving 11hrs to Gateshead and back today I summed up my relationship and really I do love her and I'm attracted to her but I go round her house to have my dinner, talk to her and have a laugh with her dad.

Fvckin hell


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

harrison180 said:


> After driving 11hrs to Gateshead and back today I summed up my relationship and really I do love her and I'm attracted to her but I go round her house to have my dinner, talk to her and have a laugh with her dad.
> 
> Fvckin hell


And treat her , spend your wages on her , run around after her etc etc...

Dude your like a best mate with a big wallet - sorry if harsh but true

We have all tried pal but I can tell your going to be sat saying this in another 5 years

With nads the size of elephants


----------



## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> After driving 11hrs to Gateshead and back today I summed up my relationship and really I do love her and I'm attracted to her but I go round her house to have my dinner, talk to her and have a laugh with her dad.
> 
> Fvckin hell


Wait till you next get some and accidentally pull out.....Give it 'wrong hole sorry' after you've popped it in dry and have the argument after that, nothing better than watching a woman try to argue knowing her ring is on fire and stinging


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

sneeky_dave said:


> Wait till you next get some and accidentally pull out.....Give it 'wrong hole sorry' after you've popped it in dry and have the argument after that, nothing better than watching a woman try to argue knowing her ring is on fire and stinging


FFS lolllll


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Tommy10 said:


> And treat her , spend your wages on her , run around after her etc etc...
> 
> Dude your like a best mate with a big wallet - sorry if harsh but true
> 
> ...


haha  elephant balls.

im gonna try and talk or argue with her next time i see her mate. if she cant atleast sit with me and talk then i have my answer.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

sneeky_dave said:


> Wait till you next get some and accidentally pull out.....Give it 'wrong hole sorry' after you've popped it in dry and have the argument after that, nothing better than watching a woman try to argue knowing her ring is on fire and stinging


lol ill keep that in mind mate


----------



## gymlady (Apr 14, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> id agree with you mate except for the rest of it. she is loving and all the rest its not like we are arguing every second and she says she is happy theres just rarely any sex. i could cheat like others have mentiond but i couldnt do it. i'd get guilty willy syndrome lol.
> 
> i dunno how to end it and dont really want to i just want her to make more effort. i cant talk to her about it i just get shut out.


Hard situation. I think u need to talk with her. Its not normal to answer :"find someone else".

She is either angry with you about something or she is not feeling confident enough.

Thhe question is.. if she loves you and cares for u why doesnt she wanna have sex with u?

I think u re just used to this relationship, bonded with her family, and u dont really care much about her feelings. U need to pay more attention to her needs.

Sex is important in a relationship. If u re not having sex, problems in the relationship occur. Not saying having sex everyday but at least 4-5times per week is essential. Imagine you re not married yet and u don't have any kids. Sex will be 0 in the future.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

gymlady said:


> Hard situation. I think u need to talk with her. Its not normal to answer :"find someone else".
> 
> She is either angry with you about something or she is not feeling confident enough.
> 
> ...


it aint my fault. over 4 years i have tried everything, theres no reason why she couldnt talk to me after 4 years etc. i have spent all my time caring about her feelings but just lately im finding im missing out. i want to make her happy but im not putting up with it being one sided anymore.


----------



## gymlady (Apr 14, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> it aint my fault. over 4 years i have tried everything, theres no reason why she couldnt talk to me after 4 years etc. i have spent all my time caring about her feelings but just lately im finding im missing out. i want to make her happy but im not putting up with it being one sided anymore.


Next time she answers you go find someone else tell her she s the one you want to have sex with. She s immature. Cant understand why people avoid sex.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

gymlady said:


> Next time she answers you go find someone else tell her she s the one you want to have sex with. She s immature. Cant understand why people avoid sex.


or me lol. if she says it again i'll take that as my permission to do exactly that.

i'll have a talk or argument with her about it again


----------



## The Sweeney (May 8, 2014)

Stone, shoe, marathon....

:whistling:


----------



## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

Post a pic up mate


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Heavyassweights said:


> Post a pic up mate


17 pages before this come up must be a record lol


----------



## Lewy_h (Jan 4, 2012)

harrison180 said:


> 17 pages before this come up must be a record lol


Well...


----------



## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

Just to balance this. How easily could you get sex if you do become single. Known a lot of people make the leap then have no girlfriend and no sex.

Iv dumped a girlfriend then had a 3 months dry spell. Iv also dumped a girlfriend and acquired 3 fk buddy in a couple of weeks.


----------



## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

gycraig said:


> Just to balance this. How easily could you get sex if you do become single. Known a lot of people make the leap then have no girlfriend and no sex.
> 
> Iv dumped a girlfriend then had a 3 months dry spell. Iv also dumped a girlfriend and acquired 3 fk buddy in a couple of weeks.


ha.

OP will be sat at home watching bargain hunt while his ex mrs is being smashed left right and centre


----------



## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

gycraig said:


> Just to balance this. How easily could you get sex if you do become single. Known a lot of people make the leap then have no girlfriend and no sex.
> 
> Iv dumped a girlfriend then had a 3 months dry spell. Iv also dumped a girlfriend and acquired 3 fk buddy in a couple of weeks.


We'll yeah, you have to have fresh pussy in the pipeline to go to, otherwise you're just giving up on sex completely lol. :lol:


----------



## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

Heavyassweights said:


> ha.
> 
> OP will be sat at home watching bargain hunt while his ex mrs is being smashed left right and centre


Such a way with words rofl


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Heavyassweights said:


> ha.
> 
> OP will be sat at home watching bargain hunt while his ex mrs is being smashed left right and centre


I just pained a mental picture of that in my head


----------



## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

Tommy10 said:


> I just pained a mental picture of that in my head


bargain hunts on daily mate, just tune in for the real thing


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Heavyassweights said:


> bargain hunts on daily mate, just tune in for the real thing


The other bit ! Ya perv lol


----------



## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

harrison180 said:


> cuz i no for a fact she wont wear or use anything mate. we were in boots once and i put some of that tingly lube in the basket. i did it just to see what the reaction would be eg if she left it in atleast there was this thought of using it but she picked it up and said "i dont think so" then put it back.


sounds borin as fuk


----------



## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

harrison180 said:


> it aint my fault. over 4 years i have tried everything, theres no reason why she couldnt talk to me after 4 years etc. i have spent all my time caring about her feelings but just lately im finding im missing out. i want to make her happy but im not putting up with it being one sided anymore.


quit bleating!

do something about it

tell her strait yous sort the sex life out or break up. end of


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Loveleelady said:


> quit bleating!
> 
> do something about it
> 
> tell her strait yous sort the sex life out or break up. end of


I'm going to  . I don't wanna feel like this anymore


----------



## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

harrison180 said:


> I'm going to  . I don't wanna feel like this anymore


first of all ask her wat the problem is and identify to her that your needs are not unusual but that theres something goin on wiv her

theres things she can take or do

but sounds like shes a girl who doesn't enjoy sex and prob never will that much


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Loveleelady said:


> first of all ask her wat the problem is and identify to her that your needs are not unusual but that theres something goin on wiv her
> 
> theres things she can take or do
> 
> but sounds like shes a girl who doesn't enjoy sex and prob never will that much


I guess your right with the last bit. And as mentioned by others we just ain't suited sexually. In an ideal world if she isn't willing to at least try and put effort in then we split up but still stay best mates. Probably wont happen but you never no


----------



## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

harrison180 said:


> I guess your right with the last bit. And as mentioned by others we just ain't suited sexually. In an ideal world if she isn't willing to at least try and put effort in then we split up but still stay best mates. Probably wont happen but you never no


fuk it

you got your best thread of your life out of it

so not all bad


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Loveleelady said:


> sounds borin as fuk


Lol.....


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> I guess your right with the last bit. And as mentioned by others we just ain't suited sexually. In an ideal world if she isn't willing to at least try and put effort in then we split up but still stay best mates. Probably wont happen but you never no


Don't stay best mates that's rubbish and ur only saying that to keep an eye on any other guy that comes along!! Truth is if u split up ..the next guy Will be getting some for a while but it won't last if she's not into it...you however could have a relationship with someone who values u and understands sex is about intimacy and can make and break relationships..and will continue to give youn sex coz she wants to ...... Don't get tied up in the friendship thing causes more grief and jealousy than worth.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Don't stay best mates that's rubbish and ur only saying that to keep an eye on any other guy that comes along!! Truth is if u split up ..the next guy Will be getting some for a while but it won't last if she's not into it...you however could have a relationship with someone who values u and understands sex is about intimacy and can make and break relationships..and will continue to give youn sex coz she wants to ...... Don't get tied up in the friendship thing causes more grief and jealousy than worth.


Nah not to keep an eye on her if she gets another bloke well not how you think. I wouldnt be jelous or such but i still love her and wouldnt want anyone to harm her or her nob head brother to hurt her in anyway etc. Also im best mates with her dad and id miss goin out with him and having a laugh etc.

If we just decided we cant be together as lovers then maybe we would work as mates. I do agree with what your saying tho i stayed frends with my first mrs for ages and it ripped me up everytime she was with someone new.


----------



## Fishheadsoup (Apr 15, 2013)

Wish mine would not want it for a bit, even after 4 years she still wants it almost every night. I've seriously had times where I've faked an injury in the gym to give me a week off lol.


----------



## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

When relationship ends with me, I don't want to see her face ever again, hear her voice, or even think about her! I damn sure do not want to be her 'friend', have cosy little chats and watch some other cnut come along and get tucked in!

You need a clean break when a relationship ends. It's the only way to get closure and move forward. If that means burying her in the woods, just be sure not to ever tell anybody!


----------



## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Fishheadsoup said:


> Wish mine would not want it for a bit, even after 4 years she still wants it almost every night. I've seriously had times where I've faked an injury in the gym to give me a week off lol.


I faked an orgasm once when she was gagging and I couldn't be ****d, it gets bit boring after 20mins if you ain't into it lol..


----------



## Karpman (May 17, 2014)

Loveleelady said:


> fuk it
> 
> you got your best thread of your life out of it
> 
> so not all bad


Seems strange this as my second post lol, just been through a hole load of hell with the misses. She never had much of a sex drive but it went right of turns out the bloke 3 doors up was trying his upmost to nail her.

turns out she just wanted a little excitement and not have to be a mummy all the time, took nay on 3 months to get things somewhere back to normal but her sex drive has increased lol.

Trying talking dirty to her

karpman


----------



## Robbiedbee (Nov 27, 2013)

Archaic said:


> I faked an orgasm once when she was gagging and I couldn't be ****d, it gets bit boring after 20mins if you ain't into it lol..


How do dudes even do that? If I faked it my girlfriend would know, there'd be a lot less mess to clean up for starters.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> Nah not to keep an eye on her if she gets another bloke well not how you think. I wouldnt be jelous or such but i still love her and wouldnt want anyone to harm her or her nob head brother to hurt her in anyway etc. Also im best mates with her dad and id miss goin out with him and having a laugh etc.
> 
> If we just decided we cant be together as lovers then maybe we would work as mates. I do agree with what your saying tho i stayed frends with my first mrs for ages and it ripped me up everytime she was with someone new.


So learn from last relationship..I can tell u now the only way friends works is if it's been a very long relationship usually much older couples or if u both have new partners! But if one has and one hasn't...trouble if u both havnt trouble and even if u both gave as soon as one ends ...trouble!! It's just human nature.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Fishheadsoup said:


> Wish mine would not want it for a bit, even after 4 years she still wants it almost every night. I've seriously had times where I've faked an injury in the gym to give me a week off lol.


 :2guns: banished from earth!


----------



## Cam93 (May 20, 2010)

Havnt read thread, but frankly even if your partner has no sex drive, that does not mean you should cheat - iv no respect for anyone that does. No excuse to ever cheat, either leave or put up IMO.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Archaic said:


> I faked an orgasm once when she was gagging and I couldn't be ****d, it gets bit boring after 20mins if you ain't into it lol..


God knows how u managed to get away with that......I would definitely know!!


----------



## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Skye666 said:


> God knows how u managed to get away with that......I would definitely know!!


Well, I always make her cream up - plus, I don't have a small willy, so it gets planted deep. Unless you go fishing afterwards I doubt you'd know.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Archaic said:


> Well, I always make her cream up - plus, I don't have a small willy, so it gets planted deep. Unless you go fishing afterwards I doubt you'd know.


Omg are u serious????

How can u know ur not a woman lol. Wouldn't need to go,fishing ..it pulses like hell after it's natural u can't control it...I can feel that!!! If u don't ejaculate it don't happen ...ur not except to this fact :nono:


----------



## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Skye666 said:


> Omg are u serious????
> 
> How can u know ur not a woman lol. Wouldn't need to go,fishing ..it pulses like hell after it's natural u can't control it...I can feel that!!! If u don't ejaculate it don't happen ...ur not except to this fact :nono:


Skye, I can tell you mrs didn't know when I faked it and I've never heard her say my cum pulses deep inside her either lol. Have you talked about this to other women? Just to rule out that you're not abnormal..


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Archaic said:


> Skye, I can tell you mrs didn't know when I faked it and I've never heard her say my cum pulses deep inside her either lol. Have you talked about this to other women? Just to rule out that you're not abnormal..


Don't your d1ck bounce round like a druggy in a rave after u cum mate?


----------



## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

harrison180 said:


> Don't your d1ck bounce round like a druggy in a rave after u cum mate?


Umm.... No 

I get laid regularly though, my pecker is less sensitive than yours..


----------



## Lotte (Feb 10, 2014)

Archaic said:


> Well, I always make her cream up - plus, I don't have a small willy, so it gets planted deep. Unless you go fishing afterwards I doubt you'd know.


Maybe you don't make loads so she wouldn't notice the difference? Anyway planted deep or not, what goes up must come down eventually lol we certainly notice it...


----------



## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Lotte said:


> Maybe you don't make loads so she wouldn't notice the difference? Anyway planted deep or not, what goes up must come down eventually lol we certainly notice it...


I was on Test/ Tren/Mast at the time, I can remember not being ****d with sex as had already shot my load 3x a day for 2wks before hand, whether it was down to her or me knocking one out myself. I wasn't blowing smoke, but guess my load capacity was running lower than normal.

Too much info I know, but I'm getting scrutinised lol.

Or could be just you and Skye's fellas ain't giving you much, hence the load build up..?


----------



## Lotte (Feb 10, 2014)

Archaic said:


> I was on Test/ Tren/Mast at the time, I can remember not being ****d with sex as had already shot my load 3x a day for 2wks before hand, whether it was down to her or me knocking one out myself. I wasn't blowing smoke, but guess my load capacity was running lower than normal.
> 
> Too much info I know, but I'm getting scrutinised lol.
> 
> Or could be just you and Skye's fellas ain't giving you much, hence the load build up..?


lol touche!  She probably assumed you were blowing air, you have passed your scrutiny panel challenge lol


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Archaic said:


> Umm.... No
> 
> I get laid regularly though, my pecker is less sensitive than yours..


Could be mate or maybe I'm a walking talking vibrator lol. Ok the little guys been out of work for a while or just got a part time job but it does still work I'm sure of it haha.

When I was with my ex my willy was red raw and sore lol. I had to make a few excuses now and agen for recovery. I think it does get more numb if its all the time.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Archaic said:


> Skye, I can tell you mrs didn't know when I faked it and I've never heard her say my cum pulses deep inside her either lol. Have you talked about this to other women? Just to rule out that you're not abnormal..


Cum doesn't pulse ..fooooool and I didn't say it did..fooooooool.


----------



## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Skye666 said:


> Cum doesn't pulse ..fooooool and I didn't say it did..fooooooool.


Why so rude and an the offensive all the time?

You're an unpleasant individual and very crass.


----------



## The Sweeney (May 8, 2014)

Fishheadsoup said:


> Wish mine would not want it for a bit, even after 4 years she still wants it almost every night. I've seriously had times where I've faked an injury in the gym to give me a week off lol.


I will find you, and I will kill you!

:beer:


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Archaic said:


> I was on Test/ Tren/Mast at the time, I can remember not being ****d with sex as had already shot my load 3x a day for 2wks before hand, whether it was down to her or me knocking one out myself. I wasn't blowing smoke, but guess my load capacity was running lower than normal.
> 
> Too much info I know, but I'm getting scrutinised lol.
> 
> Or could be just you and Skye's fellas ain't giving you much, hence the load build up..?


It's not the load I told ya...a woman knows u can tell lots or not but I don't want u to feel scrutinized lol


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Archaic said:


> Why so rude and an the offensive all the time?
> 
> You're an unpleasant individual and very crass.


Lol oh dear touched a nerve...I'm a pleasant individual but perhaps not in ur eyes is what u means...crass well not sure what u mean by that .


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Skye666 said:


> Lol oh dear touched a nerve...I'm a pleasant individual but perhaps not in ur eyes is what u means...crass well not sure what u mean by that .


Lol you up to your old tricks again Lippy   x


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Tommy10 said:


> Lol you up to your old tricks again Lippy   x


I dint mean it  only said it pulses ...and any fool knows 'cum' doesn't pulse....but now I'm rude and crass......mehhhhh. Tommy ur crasssser than me so how come no one says it to u...so unfair


----------



## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Skye666 said:


> Lol oh dear touched a nerve...I'm a pleasant individual but perhaps not in ur eyes is what u means...crass well not sure what u mean by that .


My patience has been tested to the max by someone in real life today, I take back what I said, its just me having my knickers in a twist.

Don't get me wrong, I read some of your posts and it does my t1ts in, but you're not unpleasant. Soz


----------



## Andrewgenic (Jul 5, 2010)

Lotte said:


> I've tried that one (impossibly hard to do when you're desperate for it lol!) and it delivered minimal returns :sad:


Me too and as stubborn as I want to be I just cannot pass it up.


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Skye666 said:


> I dint mean it  only said it pulses ...and any fool knows 'cum' doesn't pulse....but now I'm rude and crass......mehhhhh. Tommy ur crasssser than me so how come no one says it to u...so unfair


What ?! Me ...haha ...you should know never to cross men and their cum !


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Tested the water today and its gonna be one big argument when I talk about it properly.


----------



## The Sweeney (May 8, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> Tested the water today and its gonna be one big argument when I talk about it properly.


Remember - life isn't a rehearsal... one shot.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

The Sweeney said:


> Remember - life isn't a rehearsal... one shot.


I agree mate but she works tonight in a care home and didnt think it was fair for her to go to work upset or angry. I've waited 4 years lol another couple of days won't hurt


----------



## The Sweeney (May 8, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> I agree mate but she works tonight in a care home and didnt think it was fair for her to go to work upset or angry. I've waited 4 years lol another couple of days won't hurt


You sound like a gent an I wish you well.


----------



## Leeds89 (Feb 13, 2012)

harrison180 said:


> im 24 to mate. 5-6 times a month would make me feel like ron jeremy lol.


I'm 24 too. Had it 4 times between last night and today.

Wanna trade  ?


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

The Sweeney said:


> You sound like a gent an I wish you well.


Wish I wasn't at times mate lol


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Leeds89 said:


> I'm 24 too. Had it 4 times between last night and today.
> 
> Wanna trade  ?


I used to be able to mate but I'd have to train myself back upto that standard lol. We could have rest bite haha you will get a rest and I will get a work out


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

harrison180 said:


> I agree mate but she works tonight in a care home and didnt think it was fair for her to go to work upset or angry. I've waited 4 years lol another couple of days won't hurt


There's never a good time to split up, just have the conversation.


----------



## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

"Babe I'm proper horny"

"no"

"I don't want to be with you any more

If you can't get the balls to speak to her just do it over text, it needs doing it's like ripping a plaster off


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Archaic said:


> My patience has been tested to the max by someone in real life today, I take back what I said, its just me having my knickers in a twist.
> 
> Don't get me wrong, I read some of your posts and it does my t1ts in, but you're not unpleasant. Soz


Apology NOT accepted...I need a present I cried all night 

Lol kidding......u read some of my posts and they do ya tits in? ... But I sometimes wanna hit u with ur own avi hammer but....I quite like u  Stop exaggerating my posts are informative, helpful, and crass what more do u want!!

On a serious...I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea but I do say what I see and I can't be any different to that :surrender:


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Apology NOT accepted...I need a present I cried all night
> 
> Lol kidding......u read some of my posts and they do ya tits in? ... But I sometimes wanna hit u with ur own avi hammer but....I quite like u  Stop exaggerating my posts are informative, helpful, and crass what more do u want!!
> 
> On a serious...I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea but I do say what I see and I can't be any different to that :surrender:


I dont think your to bad i suppose lol ;-). Theres only one post u made to me that i took the wrong way lol. Most of the time i no your playing cuz ur a softy really .

You can only be yourself no1 likes a sheep. Harrison180 chapter 5 verse 73


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> I dont think your to bad i suppose lol ;-). Theres only one post u made to me that i took the wrong way lol. Most of the time i no your playing cuz ur a softy really .
> 
> You can only be yourself no1 likes a sheep. Harrison180 chapter 5 verse 73


Lol bless u child!!!!

And for ur age you are a refreshing character more manners and thought than most twice ur age. But u have been here before so it's to be expected I suppose


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Lol bless u child!!!!
> 
> And for ur age you are a refreshing character more manners and thought than most twice ur age. But u have been here before so it's to be expected I suppose


Less of the child thank u lol.

Im one of a kind and proud of it but im an old fella in the mind . We will get on great on or date haha :-D.


----------



## Fishheadsoup (Apr 15, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> :2guns: banished from earth!


 I wish, I'd probably get a break then lol.


----------



## JR8908 (Aug 17, 2012)

I had a similar conversation with the girlfriend as what I expect what @harrison180 will be having.

I told her that I don't expect sex often but once or twice a week would be nice and in basically not having it anymore. I also told her that the way she is sexually towards me (as cold as a penguins ****) is having a massive impact on my self esteem and making me down.

She has changed her tune and lot and I'm getting promises of this and that when she sees me, I'm just not sure if she means all this dirty talk or is she's now just trying to keep me sweet (probably the latter)

If I ask for sex she will put out admittedly but she never ever asks me or comes onto me it's like sex doesn't exist. We went away on holiday and I had to ask for sex every time, she never asked me once or made a sexual move on me first, and sometimes feel like I was being over forceful on her and it's not a turn on for me at all.

So my point is, even if these type of girls put out for you, they most likely won't ever change and ever have that sexuality about them, and at the back of your mind you always know they're doing it for you.


----------



## JR8908 (Aug 17, 2012)

Also, a question for the girls on here,

Is it normal for women to not get themselves off alone or have any orgasms at all when they are single or their partners are not around? I've noticed girls who do sort themselves out when they don't have a partner/partners away etc, seem to have higher sex drives.

I've not come across many that don't have a play alone. The odd one or 2 that I have come across that are like this have absolutely no sex drive.


----------



## Santoro (Jan 26, 2013)

JR8908 said:


> Also, a question for the girls on here,
> 
> Is it normal for women to not get themselves off alone or have any orgasms at all when they are single or their partners are not around? I've noticed girls who do sort themselves out when they don't have a partner/partners away etc, seem to have higher sex drives.
> 
> I've not come across many that don't have a play alone. The odd one or 2 that I have come across that are like this have absolutely no sex drive.


My wife doesn't play home alone. She says it just doesn't do it for her. She has a lower than average Sex drive but over the years (11 of them) things have improved. We had a good talk a few years ago and it turned out to be a big lack of confidence in the bedroom. She had never done anything alone, and was not very experienced with men. The first couple of years were pretty good, then the sex was a lot less for a few years (kept getting knocked back). She said the more I tried the less she wanted it! So I stopped trying. After a couple of weeks she asked me what was wrong and started crying etc!! I told her and we came to an agreement to try harder at our sex life and make time for each other.

Now she is much more receptive and actually tries it on with me more!! It's an average of 2x a week now!


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> Less of the child thank u lol.
> 
> Im one of a kind and proud of it but im an old fella in the mind . We will get on great on or date haha :-D.


My sentiments exactly :whistling:


----------



## The Sweeney (May 8, 2014)

JR8908 said:


> I had a similar conversation with the girlfriend as what I expect what @harrison180 will be having.
> 
> I told her that I don't expect sex often but once or twice a week would be nice and in basically not having it anymore. I also told her that the way she is sexually towards me (as cold as a penguins ****) is having a massive impact on my self esteem and making me down.
> 
> ...


BINGO! ^^

Great post.

We're all individuals, but for me, there's nothing more of a turn off that having to ask all the time for it, and worse still is a woman who makes you feel like she is only tolerating having sex with you to keep the peace. I'd honestly rather just knock one out.

To me, the biggest turn on is a woman who is horny and really wants it and is prepared to be sexy about it.

The whole, routine of you touch me here, I touch you there, is it hard, CHECK, is it wet enough, CHECK, right lets do the same routine again gets very dull, very quickly, especially if the horny factor is missing.

If there is an underlying lack of sexuality, the above is bound to end up as the routine, and like I say, I'd rather seek out the mental turn on from xhamster or whatever...

Jut sayin'.

Then there's the entire hornet's nest of vipers that is that "sex issues are a reflection of other problems in the relationship...." lark - yeah, ok... shame the other problems in the relationship are based around sex, eh?

Sorry, rant over.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

JR8908 said:


> Also, a question for the girls on here,
> 
> Is it normal for women to not get themselves off alone or have any orgasms at all when they are single or their partners are not around? I've noticed girls who do sort themselves out when they don't have a partner/partners away etc, seem to have higher sex drives.
> 
> I've not come across many that don't have a play alone. The odd one or 2 that I have come across that are like this have absolutely no sex drive.


I'd say so yes but u will find the majority don't or oh they might now and then! Most women think if u have a guy I don't need to..I think whether ur with someone or not u should be exploring ur own body because women whine about guys in bed all the time...they just don't tell them but I think if u don't know what U like from sorting urself out how can anyone else expect to know...truly ....


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

JR8908 said:


> I had a similar conversation with the girlfriend as what I expect what @harrison180 will be having.
> 
> I told her that I don't expect sex often but once or twice a week would be nice and in basically not having it anymore. I also told her that the way she is sexually towards me (as cold as a penguins ****) is having a massive impact on my self esteem and making me down.
> 
> ...


This is exactly what I said earlier in this thread somewhere...women now think that men should make all the moves and do all the work but in some was men have created this too.


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

JR8908 said:


> I had a similar conversation with the girlfriend as what I expect what @harrison180 will be having.
> 
> I told her that I don't expect sex often but once or twice a week would be nice and in basically not having it anymore. I also told her that the way she is sexually towards me (as cold as a penguins ****) is having a massive impact on my self esteem and making me down.
> 
> ...


At least u get if u ask mate. I now ask my mrs for sex like I would if I was ordering a cheeseburger. I'm more than willing to make the first move but there's no point. Very rarely she will start it and I'm not allowed to turn it, oh no its a crime if I do it.

Your mrs might perk up abit for a month or two but it will go back to normal mate.


----------



## The Sweeney (May 8, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> At least u get if u ask mate. I now ask my mrs for sex like I would if I was ordering a cheeseburger. I'm more than willing to make the first move but there's no point. Very rarely she will start it and I'm not allowed to turn it, oh no its a crime if I do it.


"Taxi for harrison180...."

"Where you heading, mate?"

"Horny and appreciativeville please..."

"You gotcha, that'll be one brave pill and a sigh of relief please...."


----------



## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

The Sweeney said:


> BINGO! ^^
> 
> Great post.
> 
> ...


Have you got a camera in my room mate haha?

I no what you mean tho that's how it is just routine and feels like its only happening to keep the peace sometimes. I'd love to feel like a woman really wants me and finds me attractive but I just don't feel that. It's not just the actual sex that I'm on about its the bits before like ripping clothes off or doing off the cuff instead of cuz u have to.

Xhamster keeps me company to mate haha


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## JR8908 (Aug 17, 2012)

The Sweeney said:


> BINGO! ^^
> 
> Great post.
> 
> ...


Totally agree mate.

End of the day we can't change who we are we can only try to make things better. Some people are just cold and sexless and it's like a mandatory ritual to them that has to performed once in a while.

I love a girl who's horny and shows it and lusts after me. A quick dirty word in the ear and I'm up for it straight away because I know they want me and are Into me.

When i know they couldn't give a sh1t it makes me like a stale miserable uninterested sod myself.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

The Sweeney said:


> "Taxi for harrison180...."
> 
> "Where you heading, mate?"
> 
> ...


I'm no good with women emotionally mate lol. I would stand my ground and take on a hundred blokes bigger than me but when it comes to this sort of stuff I'm just useless and a big wimp


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## JR8908 (Aug 17, 2012)

harrison180 said:


> At least u get if u ask mate. I now ask my mrs for sex like I would if I was ordering a cheeseburger. I'm more than willing to make the first move but there's no point. Very rarely she will start it and I'm not allowed to turn it, oh no its a crime if I do it.
> 
> Your mrs might perk up abit for a month or two but it will go back to normal mate.


Serious question, if your talk goes well and she makes more effort do you think it will stay that way for you? Like you said to me, it will go back to normal.

I'm such a pessimist that even if things change for me permanently I still know that she's doing it for me and it won't make me happy. If she can't ask me for sex on a once in a lifetime holiday I really don't think she ever will.

I already know the answers and what I need to do, just a shame I love her so much.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

JR8908 said:


> Serious question, if your talk goes well and she makes more effort do you think it will stay that way for you? Like you said to me, it will go back to normal.
> 
> I'm such a pessimist that even if things change for me permanently I still know that she's doing it for me and it won't make me happy. If she can't ask me for sex on a once in a lifetime holiday I really don't think she ever will.
> 
> I already know the answers and what I need to do, just a shame I love her so much.


I'm in the same boat mate, I think If it does go well and it changes then great but I think I'm just hoping.

I no deep down it would go back to normal after a month or so. I don't want to leave but I feel I'm missing out on fun and excitement and I want my self esteem up


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## The Sweeney (May 8, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> Have you got a camera in my room mate haha?
> 
> I no what you mean tho that's how it is just routine and feels like its only happening to keep the peace sometimes. I'd love to feel like a woman really wants me and finds me attractive but I just don't feel that. It's not just the actual sex that I'm on about its the bits before like ripping clothes off or doing off the cuff instead of cuz u have to.
> 
> Xhamster keeps me company to mate haha


Yep - most relationships go through those phases at some point, but yours does seem pretty terminal I'm afraid.

All I would say from experience is that the "off the cuff / clothes ripping off" is far from guaranteed with anyone, and even so, only lasts a certain length of time and eventually a rut will develop - it just will. That's fine, as long as the effort and desire is there, which clearly isn't in your case. Nothing wrong with comfy, familiar and cosy / loving sex when the initial lustful passion has passed, as long as it's a two way street.

A good indicator for the rut is when you see a passionate sex scene on TV and instead of feeling horny, you feel sad and resentful... :wink:


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## JR8908 (Aug 17, 2012)

harrison180 said:


> I'm in the same boat mate, I think If it does go well and it changes then great but I think I'm just hoping.
> 
> I no deep down it would go back to normal after a month or so. I don't want to leave but I feel I'm missing out on fun and excitement and I want my self esteem up


Well it's your life mate and sometimes you have to put yourself first. You sound like a very selfless and considerate person but sometimes in this life we have to put our happiness first before other people's.

You just have to make that leap of faith

I am the worst person to give advice however as I'm struggling to make that leap of faith because I'm a massive fanny and I'm so insecure I can't face seeing her with anyone else. It eats me up thinking she would be different with someone else and I'm scared to give her the opportunity as I'm such a coward.


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## The Sweeney (May 8, 2014)

JR8908 said:


> I'm a massive fanny and I'm so insecure I can't face seeing her with anyone else. It eats me up thinking she would be different with someone else and I'm scared to give her the opportunity as I'm such a coward.


We've all been there, bud.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

The Sweeney said:


> Yep - most relationships go through those phases at some point, but yours does seem pretty terminal I'm afraid.
> 
> All I would say from experience is that the "off the cuff / clothes ripping off" is far from guaranteed with anyone, and even so, only lasts a certain length of time and eventually a rut will develop - it just will. That's fine, as long as the effort and desire is there, which clearly isn't in your case. Nothing wrong with comfy, familiar and cosy / loving sex when the initial lustful passion has passed, as long as it's a two way street.
> 
> A good indicator for the rut is when you see a passionate sex scene on TV and instead of feeling horny, you feel sad and resentful... :wink:


It's worse than that mate I get jealous of em on tv haha


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Well we are having the conversation. She is in the garden and I'm in the house texting her. At least I seem to be getting further after the usual go elsewhere and storm off etc. normally I give up by now but I'm not this time.

This relationship is about me aswel


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## The Sweeney (May 8, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> This relationship is about me aswel


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

harrison180 said:


> Well we are having the conversation. She is in the garden and I'm in the house texting her. At least I seem to be getting further after the usual go elsewhere and storm off etc. normally I give up by now but I'm not this time.
> 
> This relationship is about me aswel


Wow how technology is helping our generation


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

gycraig said:


> Wow how technology is helping our generation


It's only cuz I wasn't backing down lol. I was getting more answers that way so it worked


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

harrison180 said:


> It's only cuz I wasn't backing down lol. I was getting more answers that way so it worked


Any progress ?


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

gycraig said:


> Any progress ?


she said she would try harder but its cuz she dont like how she looks. i said well its the same for me but aslong as she finds me attractive i dont care. i told her im not expecting her to turn into a sex maniac but abit more effort and to stop knocking me back everytime. she said she would try. guess i'l see


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## JR8908 (Aug 17, 2012)

harrison180 said:


> she said she would try harder but its cuz she dont like how she looks. i said well its the same for me but aslong as she finds me attractive i dont care. i told her im not expecting her to turn into a sex maniac but abit more effort and to stop knocking me back everytime. she said she would try. guess i'l see


So do you reckon it's on for tonight? One would think it may happen after 'the talk'


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

OP getting balls deep tonight!


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

JR8908 said:


> So do you reckon it's on for tonight? One would think it may happen after 'the talk'


Nah mate she went to work and im home now lol. Nothin for me yet haha. Its only really weekends we get chance so ill prob have to wait but who knows.


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## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

Loveleelady said:


> sounds borin as fuk


Can't you just just have sex with him ?


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

Sams said:


> Can't you just just have sex with him ?


well somebodys gonna hav ta sort him out or the poor man will bust!


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Loveleelady said:


> well somebodys gonna hav ta sort him out or the poor man will bust!


You will have to come over here tho cuz the airport dont let u carry liquids on your person and i got two contaners full lol


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

harrison180 said:


> You will have to come over here tho cuz the airport dont let u carry liquids on your person and i got two contaners full lol


lol get rid ur woman and get out and have a life lad


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## The Sweeney (May 8, 2014)

What does she not like about herself that was ok when you met? I can only assume it's weight gain? If so, is she planning on doing something about it?


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

The Sweeney said:


> What does she not like about herself that was ok when you met? I can only assume it's weight gain? If so, is she planning on doing something about it?


yeah mate, well not so much weight gain she is still only a size 12 she just hates her gut cuz she says she looks pregnant. i dont think she needs to lose weight cuz she is perfect size but if she needs to flatten her gut abit to feel better then i told her i'll help her out. she dont eat much tho, never has done and apart from weekends we eat decent foods. shes not really a fitness fanatic but she is active anyway, works in a busy care home at nights and she walks to town or anywhere else instead of the bus.


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## bigchickenlover (Jul 16, 2013)

Sex = burning calories


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

bigchickenlover said:


> Sex = burning calories


that was my answer to her


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## bigchickenlover (Jul 16, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> that was my answer to her


That could be the prob, don't ask her for sex just get it going man!!


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

£50 says nothing changes and you're in the same boat in 6 months time.

Just dump her, the fact you had to have this conversation via text when you were both at home speaks volumes.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Smitch said:


> £50 says nothing changes and you're in the same boat in 6 months time.
> 
> Just dump her, the fact you had to have this conversation via text when you were both at home speaks volumes.


but we had the conversation mate, not like the other times where i would just end up saying things to stick the boot in. when she relised its a real problem and not just me moaning that im not having sex we started talking properly. she never said she would try and give more effort and i cant leave until i have give it abit of time mate. it cant get worse lol


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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

harrison180 said:


> but we had the conversation mate, not like the other times where i would just end up saying things to stick the boot in. when she relised its a real problem and not just me moaning that im not having sex we started talking properly. she never said she would try and give more effort and i cant leave until i have give it abit of time mate. it cant get worse lol


Am I right in saying you don't live together?


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Ian_Montrose said:


> Am I right in saying you don't live together?


thats right mate


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

harrison180 said:


> but we had the conversation mate, not like the other times where i would just end up saying things to stick the boot in. when she relised its a real problem and not just me moaning that im not having sex we started talking properly. she never said she would try and give more effort and i cant leave until i have give it abit of time mate. it cant get worse lol


Having been in this situation twice i can only see it going one way.

It's good that you tried to talk to her, but texting isn't talking in my book. It's very easy to hide behind a screen and fob people off, i would only have this chat face to face so i could gauge the other persons true reaction, typing gives time to think about answers and wriggle out of stuff.

It's your life, but from what you've said it sounds like it's over but you're both scared to admit it.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Smitch said:


> Having been in this situation twice i can only see it going one way.
> 
> It's good that you tried to talk to her, but texting isn't talking in my book. It's very easy to hide behind a screen and fob people off, i would only have this chat face to face so i could gauge the other persons true reaction, typing gives time to think about answers and wriggle out of stuff.
> 
> It's your life, but from what you've said it sounds like it's over but you're both scared to admit it.


thats what i ment by talking properly we talked face to face when she relised it was a real problem and not me going to say things to make her feel guilty about it like i used to.

deep down i no your right but i got to give this new result a chance to see if it does change. i got the hardest part over with


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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

harrison180 said:


> thats right mate


Well, if you're not yet ready to outright finish the relationship, you could consider taking a big step back from it. Stop being the only one that's trying to make it work. Find other things to do with your time and see if she starts chasing you and making more of an effort. If she doesn't, it will fizzle out very quickly.

It sounds to me like you are being taken for granted but only you can decide how long you're willing to be treated like this. Personally, given that you're clearly unhappy with the situation, the longer you accept it the lower your self esteem will go and it will become harder for you to do what's right for you.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Ian_Montrose said:


> Well, if you're not yet ready to outright finish the relationship, you could consider taking a big step back from it. Stop being the only one that's trying to make it work. Find other things to do with your time and see if she starts chasing you and making more of an effort. If she doesn't, it will fizzle out very quickly.
> 
> It sounds to me like you are being taken for granted but only you can decide how long you're willing to be treated like this. Personally, given that you're clearly unhappy with the situation, the longer you accept it the lower your self esteem will go and it will become harder for you to do what's right for you.


Some weeks i dont see much of her cuz of work etc but now i have my capri im fixing up abit theres always some little problem occuring thats taking my time up so i guess i have already started. This is certainly the last attempt. If it dont change by next month then theres nothing else i can do really is there so ill just have to grow a pair and go. Really hope it does change tho i cant see my life without her in it. I no it sounds soft lol.


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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

harrison180 said:


> Some weeks i dont see much of her cuz of work etc but now i have my capri im fixing up abit theres always some little problem occuring thats taking my time up so i guess i have already started. This is certainly the last attempt. If it dont change by next month then theres nothing else i can do really is there so ill just have to grow a pair and go. Really hope it does change tho i cant see my life without her in it. I no it sounds soft lol.


Not soft at all mate. You're obviously a caring person and there is nothing wrong with that whatsoever. Just make sure you don't forget to care about yourself, that's all.


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## pedarby (May 18, 2014)

It it quite often the case that couples have sex less over time. You might go through dry spells and then have weeks when she will put out a few times :clap:

My other have and I will always try to have sex once a week, at the weekend usually. We both have demanding, stressful and tiring jobs so weekends are definitely our time to get down!!

Suppose you can try talking to her about it?


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## The Sweeney (May 8, 2014)

harrison180 said:


> yeah mate, well not so much weight gain she is still only a size 12 she just hates her gut cuz she says she looks pregnant. i dont think she needs to lose weight cuz she is perfect size but if she needs to flatten her gut abit to feel better then i told her i'll help her out. she dont eat much tho, never has done and apart from weekends we eat decent foods. shes not really a fitness fanatic but she is active anyway, works in a busy care home at nights and she walks to town or anywhere else instead of the bus.


Best exercise for a tummy is reverse cowgirl with an arched back. Reach round and support her tits if it helps with stability. Best regime is 1 set of 400 reps performed twice a day for 6 months and then I think she'll notice an improvement.

Thank me later.


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

harrison180 said:


> Some weeks i dont see much of her cuz of work etc but now *i have my capri* im fixing up abit theres always some little problem occuring thats taking my time up so i guess i have already started. This is certainly the last attempt. If it dont change by next month then theres nothing else i can do really is there so ill just have to grow a pair and go. Really hope it does change tho i cant see my life without her in it. I no it sounds soft lol.


Suddenly it all becomes clear why she isn't putting out as often as she should!!










This you bruh?


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Gary29 said:


> Suddenly it all becomes clear why she isn't putting out as often as she should!!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Haha yeah mate  . It's about right at the moment


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## Leeds89 (Feb 13, 2012)

You got rid yet mate? Sat here with my bird, my cum dripping out of her, she says hi


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Leeds89 said:


> You got rid yet mate? Sat here with my bird, my cum dripping out of her, she says hi


Hope u slip in it u p1ss takin sod lol ;-)


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## wylde99 (Feb 23, 2008)

Its actually me most of the time who turns it down, simply because Sleep is more appealing.

Problem is ill then jack off at some point home alone which kills my Sex drive for that day.

Been together 3 Years and do it once a week on average.


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## ScottyS (Jan 22, 2017)

wylde99 said:


> Its actually me most of the time who turns it down, simply because Sleep is more appealing.
> 
> Problem is ill then jack off at some point home alone which kills my Sex drive for that day.
> 
> Been together 3 Years and do it once a week on average.


 Don't worry, she'll be getting taken care of by Jamal if that keeps up


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Strong 2014 thread bump...!


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## wylde99 (Feb 23, 2008)

ScottyS said:


> Don't worry, she'll be getting taken care of by Jamal if that keeps up


 Doubt that, she adores me, and she was a Virgin before she met me.


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## ScottyS (Jan 22, 2017)

wylde99 said:


> Doubt that, she adores me, and she was a Virgin before she met me.


 Lol


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## SwoleTip (Jul 31, 2017)

Knew soon as I saw the date of this thread wylde would be posting in it


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## SuperRips (Sep 14, 2015)

SwoleTip said:


> Knew soon as I saw the date of this thread wylde would be posting in it


 Hahahaha tellllllllll me about it 

opened the thread, seen it was 2014 and I was chucklin already

legend lol


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## empzb (Jan 8, 2006)

wylde99 said:


> Doubt that, she adores me, and she was a Virgin before she met me.


 told me that same story too.


----------

