# Your Tinder openers



## DanishM (Dec 15, 2013)

So today I've decided to get myself that Tinder app after reading about it here and my friends telling me about it. I have quite a few matches already, but honestly, I suck at flirting in text yet alone start a conversation. I have no idea why this would be harder than the flirting face to face that I'm used to, but it's like this forces me to think :lol: But I'm willing to give this a go, as I've heard good things about it, so may as well learn something 

What are your best openers?


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## Lokken (Mar 15, 2014)

"Do you work at Subway".....

"Cause you've just given me a foot long"

.........

"You must be in great shape. Cause you've been running through my mind all day long"

Try em :thumb:


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## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

'I normaly ask if her parents are dead'....not good with in-laws me


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

Pics of birds your talking to before any help can be offered or you fess up its grindr u have joined


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

Lokken said:


> "Do you work at Subway".....
> 
> "Cause you've just given me a foot long"
> 
> ...


Take it your not fcukin much mate


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## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

A good one to open with is:

On a scale of 1-10 what does your gash smell like. 1 being lavender and 10 being sarson vinegar


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## Dan94 (Dec 29, 2013)

Wtf is Tinder?


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## Lewy_h (Jan 4, 2012)

Say "sorry I swiped the wrong way", then see what her crack is from there


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## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

Ask them what they are in to then lie through your back teeth

Tell them whatever they want to hear

If they like horses, a certain sport, a certain music, whatever.. Get your Google on and talk about what they want to talk about! I swear on POF I've had farms, holidays to countries I've never heard of and participated in sports I never knew existed. It works

With fat girls who never seem to have any hobbies just tell them there's something really sexy about them, then maybe talk about food lol :lol:

Good luck!


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## twc_rm (Sep 3, 2010)

"I'd change that profile picture if I was you"

Never had one not respond


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## nWo (Mar 25, 2014)

"I'd give you one"

"Thanks"

"You took that well, most girls go sick if you give them a one out of ten"


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## mrwright (Oct 22, 2013)

Show us ya tits.

Aul darlin youve just won the faackin lottery cuz YOU get to taste my diick!


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

U bunch of useless flirts!!! All of the above is crap and mostly would only be said on a screen coz u prob wouldn't be brave enough face to face!!!

OP u sound like a right whimsy ass....booo I can't flirt on txt help meeeeee.....what female in their right mind wants u when u can't even converse ...jeez


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## EctoSize (Nov 28, 2013)

Depends on how good looking girls think you are tbh mate. Make sure you've got your absolute best photograph on there, insta it or make it black and white whatever makes you look best! Then you need something witty to say! Ain't used Tinder yet so not sure what the format is with it (Ill check it out though), but I find reading a girls profile on POF you can usually find something to have a tongue and cheek comment about.

Had girl on POF there lying on her bed and had took a photo over her shoulder so you could see the outline of her very nice @rse, there was a lamp in the background as well so I said 'nice lamp, where can I get one' and bang I was in. Sounds stupid mate but it works! But saying 'your fit' or 'hey how are you' doesn't cut the mustard!


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## johnnya (Mar 28, 2013)

@DanishM reading the op you mention tinder and matches in the same sentence is this actually a coded message to the illuminatie....do you know @connorb


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## mccreesh (Jan 30, 2013)

usually start with 'very nice, how much?'


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## Robbie789 (Sep 6, 2012)

Are you an archaeologist?

No, why?

Because I've got a large bone that needs inspecting.


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## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

In the OP's situation honestly would be best.

'Hi you look like a fat ugly troll cnut, but as I can't flirt on text I would still ram it in you until you cry'


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

If you have to ask, then you seriously need to up your game.

There is no one size fits all opening line, and even if there was, if you've got no chat you won't be able to seal the deal anyway.

Winners win.


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## Guest (Apr 8, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> U bunch of useless flirts!!! All of the above is crap and mostly would only be said on a screen coz u prob wouldn't be brave enough face to face!!!
> 
> OP u sound like a right whimsy ass....booo I can't flirt on txt help meeeeee.....what female in their right mind wants u when u can't even converse ...jeez


Oooo....she's off!


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## Guest (Apr 8, 2014)

robdobbie said:


> Are you an archaeologist?
> 
> No, why?
> 
> Because I've got a large bone that needs *expecting*.


inspecting?


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

My mate put a picture of some dodgy monkey as his tinder and his tagline as "Currently recovering from a serious skin condition..."

He got like 20 matches and girls kept messaging him to ask him what his picture was.

He has no game though so didnt close anything.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

cooltt said:


> Oooo....she's off!


 Not at all....It's more noticeable because I'm the only female that u see often...but trust me the other ladies prob think the same..he's saying he can't chat to a girl...whether that be txt or otherwise( before someone points out he did say he can do it face to face yes I read that) but a lot of the young guys seem to have this problem these days..it's sad.


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## hollisbball (Mar 1, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> Not at all....It's more noticeable because I'm the only female that u see often...but trust me the other ladies prob think the same..he's saying he can't chat to a girl...whether that be txt or otherwise( before someone points out he did say he can do it face to face yes I read that) but a lot of the young guys seem to have this problem these days..it's sad.


Aren't we just meant to send a picture of our penis?


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

*Never start a convo crew*

Girls are being white knighted on the regular so I'm not joining in. 146 matches and only 5 have messaged me lol but yolo.


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## Guest (Apr 8, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> Not at all....It's more noticeable because I'm the only female that u see often...but trust me the other ladies prob think the same..he's saying he can't chat to a girl...whether that be txt or otherwise( before someone points out he did say he can do it face to face yes I read that) but a lot of the young guys seem to have this problem these days..it's sad.


Ah yes the benefits of social media not being able to communicate face to face with another human.

p.s. my "shes off" comment was a joke. :tongue:


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## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Not at all....It's more noticeable because I'm the only female that u see often...but trust me the other ladies prob think the same..he's saying he can't chat to a girl...whether that be txt or otherwise( before someone points out he did say he can do it face to face yes I read that) but a lot of the young guys seem to have this problem these days..it's sad.


How easy is it to get to feel your insides ?

What kind of tinder line would it need to be

Just so we can help the OP out


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## DanishM (Dec 15, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> U bunch of useless flirts!!! All of the above is crap and mostly would only be said on a screen coz u prob wouldn't be brave enough face to face!!!
> 
> OP u sound like a right whimsy ass....booo I can't flirt on txt help meeeeee.....what female in their right mind wants u when u can't even converse ...jeez


Read again  I have absolutely bo trouble face to face. This just makes me think rather than just do it


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## Wheyman (Sep 6, 2011)

Dan94 said:


> Wtf is Tinder?


Dont know? w


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

hollisbball said:


> Aren't we just meant to send a picture of our penis?


Erm no! See..unlike men, women do not want to know what they are getting for dinner...the surprise element is always best...I'm charging for these lessons on how to pull women u know paypal me £20 for that advice


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

cooltt said:


> Ah yes the benefits of social media not being able to communicate face to face with another human.
> 
> p.s. my "shes off" comment was a joke. :tongue:


I know


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## Fortunatus (Apr 12, 2013)

"I consider my self to be a strong 9, you on the other hand a weak 5 but I'm willing to give you the chance"


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Skye666 said:


> Erm no! See..unlike men, women do not want to know what they are getting for dinner...the surprise element is always best...I'm charging for these lessons on how to pull women u know paypal me £20 for that advice


I dunno, i get asked for pics quite a lot by women, generally only the ones that only want one thing though!

Being a handsome b4stard does help me greatly though.


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## DazUKM (Nov 22, 2012)

you must be from Ireland because im dublin


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Sams said:


> How easy is it to get to feel your insides ?
> 
> What kind of tinder line would it need to be
> 
> Just so we can help the OP out


I don't think u should have a tinder line or any cheesy chat ups...just make convo and have banter.....oh..must add be careful if u do that on here coz those guys who do this who infact actually are genuine get called 'white knight' by those who hide behind screens.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Smitch said:


> I dunno, i get asked for pics quite a lot by women, generally only the ones that only want one thing though!
> 
> Being a handsome b4stard does help me greatly though.


Lol no u fool...it's that cute little cat of urs they want a pic of...sigh


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## eezy1 (Dec 14, 2010)

ask to meet up for a coffee or something. sooner you both get a look at eachother in person the better

if its a no`no you only gotta stick around for 1 drink. if theres something there you can get cake :tongue:


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

DanishM said:


> Read again  I have absolutely bo trouble face to face. This just makes me think rather than just do it


I read that..read again I noted that because I thought someone would say that.. :nono:

Well if it makes u think GOOD what's wrong with that..? Just say the same as u would if u met a girl.


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## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> I don't think u should have a tinder line or any cheesy chat ups...just make convo and have banter.....oh..must add be careful if u do that on here coz those guys who do this who infact actually are genuine get called 'white knight' by those who hide behind screens.


Ok how do I find you on tinder ?

I will just get straight to the point and say the dirtiest thing on my mind to get you going 'hey I want to suck your spine out your ar.se hole'


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Sams said:


> Ok how do I find you on tinder ?
> 
> I will just get straight to the point and say the dirtiest thing on my mind to get you going 'hey I want to suck your spine out your ar.se hole'


There's a PM function on here, you can try out your game and message anyone woman member you like.

Again, most guys don't have the nuts to do this so miss out.


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Not at all....It's more noticeable because I'm the only female that u see often...but trust me the other ladies prob think the same..he's saying he can't chat to a girl...whether that be txt or otherwise( before someone points out he did say he can do it face to face yes I read that) but a lot of the young guys seem to have this problem these days..it's sad.


Agreed 

I've been on pof a while and every single message that come through is either

A omg like hell am I replying to that

B well he just sounds desperate lol

C block button


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

mrssalvatore said:


> Agreed
> 
> I've been on pof a while and every single message that come through is either
> 
> ...


Thought you were with someone?


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Smitch said:


> Thought you were with someone?


I was


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

mrssalvatore said:


> I was


I sacked off POF ages ago, thought it was just full of attention seekers, you're better off trying other sites.


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Smitch said:


> I sacked off POF ages ago, thought it was just full of attention seekers, you're better off trying other sites.


Yeah agreed

I tend to stick to twitter I get more people talking to me on there. All with common training interests to.


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> I was


I'd say it's all about observing the comments they've put on the profile and relating to it.

Your not going to have success with "hi"

And if you have success with a dick picture and thats the kind of girl your after then crack on.

Mrssalvatore if i saw you on POF i would most definitely make an effort at some decent conversation to catch your interest...


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## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> I'd say it's all about observing the comments they've put on the profile and relating to it.
> 
> Your not going to have success with "hi"
> 
> ...


Why don't you just message her on here


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> I'd say it's all about observing the comments they've put on the profile and relating to it.
> 
> Your not going to have success with "hi"
> 
> ...


Yeah I get what you mean

It's like I said to smitch I stick to twitter now, plenty of people all with common interests that I chat to,


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## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

Skye666 said:


> U bunch of useless flirts!!! All of the above is crap and mostly would only be said on a screen coz u prob wouldn't be brave enough face to face!!!
> 
> OP u sound like a right whimsy ass....booo I can't flirt on txt help meeeeee.....what female in their right mind wants u when u can't even converse ...jeez


tell us then what are the best openings to get a response which will lead to a conversation, from a womans view point


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## Lokken (Mar 15, 2014)

Anyone joined Eharmony? If so, is it any good? Worth the money?


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Sams said:


> Ok how do I find you on tinder ?
> 
> I will just get straight to the point and say the dirtiest thing on my mind to get you going 'hey I want to suck your spine out your ar.se hole'


Lol...no I'm on...keep it real.com

I'm ageing quickly so lucky for u my spine is shrinking so less to choke on


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> Agreed
> 
> I've been on pof a while and every single message that come through is either
> 
> ...


No no noooooo that sites **** for talent there all bang busters ....there's better sites with proper guys that are able to chat....


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> I'd say it's all about observing the comments they've put on the profile and relating to it.
> 
> Your not going to have success with "hi"
> 
> ...


Pm her


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

barsnack said:


> tell us then what are the best openings to get a response which will lead to a conversation, from a womans view point


Personally I just think being ya self don't need no opening lines really having sense of humour is always tops for me...like ya self barsnack always been a cheeky chappy but don't cross the line ( well I havnt had to deal with that from u yet ...yikes)


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Pm her


Sadly i think we're like 500 miles away, otherwise i'd be right round to pick her up for a date  assuming she said yes


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> Sadly i think we're like 500 miles away, otherwise i'd be right round to pick her up for a date  assuming she said yes


Lol I like how u checked the mileage ...good move shows ur keen tho..


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Lol I like how u checked the mileage ...good move shows ur keen tho..


Only after you said it mind! :laugh: cant look too keen!


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## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

Skye666 said:


> Personally I just think being ya self don't need no opening lines really having sense of humour is always tops for me...like ya self barsnack always been a cheeky chappy but don't cross the line ( well I havnt had to deal with that from u yet ...yikes)


tried to download the app but its a work phone so needa change the settings...I tried to be myself on POF, it didn't work, I would normally open up with a few things about me, like;

'I enjoy going to the gym few nights of the week, also enjoy socialising with friends and family, and im not a Rapist'

it never works


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Pm her





FlunkyTurtle said:


> Sadly i think we're like 500 miles away, otherwise i'd be right round to pick her up for a date  assuming she said yes





Skye666 said:


> Lol I like how u checked the mileage ...good move shows ur keen tho..





FlunkyTurtle said:


> Only after you said it mind! :laugh: cant look too keen!


Excuse me you two I am here ya know!!


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

barsnack said:


> tried to download the app but its a work phone so needa change the settings...I tried to be myself on POF, it didn't work, I would normally open up with a few things about me, like;
> 
> 'I enjoy going to the gym few nights of the week, also enjoy socialising with friends and family, and im not a Rapist'
> 
> it never works


See sadly I think some girls don't like the gym thing they think no attention for them and they think bench he's gonna attract other women...ever watched take me out when the guy just says..'I enjoy the gym' and booooooom those lights are out! Lol

The rapey thing might just be what does it...thou doth protest too much and all that :nono:


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> Excuse me you two I am here ya know!!


DO you mind, we're talking about you, not too you


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> DO you mind, we're talking about you, not too you


Oh maaan!!!


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> See sadly I think some girls don't like the gym thing they think no attention for them and they think bench he's gonna attract other women...ever watched take me out when the guy just says..'I enjoy the gym' and booooooom those lights are out! Lol
> 
> The rapey thing might just be what does it...thou doth protest too much and all that :nono:


Have to agree with Barsnack here - You cant "be yourself" on things like this, because girls get so many messages you have to find a way to stand out.

I naturaly dont stand out so i have to fake this to get a response, which is a shame when i'm a nice guy, ugly as sin, but nice.


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> Oh maaan!!!


 :whistling:


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> Excuse me you two I am here ya know!!


Hahahaha ...yh but I don't like seeing u with a picture of a newspaper and a pint for company... Thought I'd nudge abit..boys got manners and he did check mileage first lol


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

UKM dating thread.


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Hahahaha ...yh but I don't like seeing u with a picture of a newspaper and a pint for company... Thought I'd nudge abit..boys got manners and he did check mileage first lol


 Lol I was rather enjoying my pint and paper and the mixed grill that followed itp


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> Have to agree with Barsnack here - You cant "be yourself" on things like this, because girls get so many messages you have to find a way to stand out.
> 
> I naturaly dont stand out so i have to fake this to get a response, which is a shame when i'm a nice guy, ugly as sin, but nice.


Nope often the ones who stand out are the quiet shy type, you know they're not full of drama like most


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## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

Skye666 said:


> See sadly I think some girls don't like the gym thing they think no attention for them and they think bench he's gonna attract other women...ever watched take me out when the guy just says..'I enjoy the gym' and booooooom those lights are out! Lol
> 
> The rapey thing might just be what does it...thou doth protest too much and all that :nono:


sound, thanks for the advice...ill stick my opening line as;

'hi, I don't go to the gym and I really really am not a Rapist, regardless if I turn up for our date in a transit van with blacked out windows'


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Internet dating is a numbers game, the more people you chat too to the more chance you have of getting lucky.

Admittedly it does help if you're in cities, in London you could go on a date every day, no problem at all.


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Smitch said:


> Internet dating is a numbers game, the more people you chat too to the more chance you have of getting lucky.
> 
> Admittedly it does help if you're in cities, in London you could go on a date every day, no problem at all.


****

That's me outta luck then my town probably has 100 people in it and they all know each other!!


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## DanishM (Dec 15, 2013)

Smitch said:


> Internet dating is a numbers game, the more people you chat too to the more chance you have of getting lucky.
> 
> Admittedly it does help if you're in cities, in London you could go on a date every day, no problem at all.


Exactly, I go to school in the middle of Copenhagen, 100's of thousands people. Sometimes after school I just go over to a random girl and ask her if she wants to have a cup of coffee or eat dinner with me. You can't do the same online, there you have to stand out - which is not how I am.


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

mrssalvatore said:


> ****
> 
> That's me outta luck then my town probably has 100 people in it and they all know each other!!


Sounds like you're fvcked then.


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Smitch said:


> Sounds like you're fvcked then.


Damn it!!! Lol doomed, doomed I tell yol


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> Nope often the ones who stand out are the quiet shy type, you know they're not full of drama like most


I agree but then i guess how do you stand out on a site that relies on your reaching out to someone! catch 22


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> I agree but then i guess how do you stand out on a site that relies on your reaching out to someone! catch 22


I get your point

But then if I was out doing the looking

I've messages more people with nothing on their profile to ask why there's nothing on their profile and conversations taken of from there


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## Mikeylee (Mar 12, 2011)

Start with an insult


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> I agree but then i guess how do you stand out on a site that relies on your reaching out to someone! catch 22


On Tinder you can only chat once someone clicks like on you, so you've already half won the battle.

You can't teach someone how to chat birds up, you've just got to learn yourself what approach works, what works for me may not work for you as you have a different personality.


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> I get your point
> 
> But then if I was out doing the looking
> 
> I've messages more people with nothing on their profile to ask why there's nothing on their profile and conversations taken of from there


yeah fair point! If only there was a fitness based website where similiar people with similiar ideals could meet and get to know each other eh:whistling:


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> yeah fair point! If only there was a fitness based website where similiar people with similiar ideals could meet and get to know each other eh:whistling:


Hmmm  lol


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> yeah fair point! If only there was a fitness based website where similiar people with similiar ideals could meet and get to know each other eh:whistling:


Nah, you'd just get a load of vain insecure people never going on dates!


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

Smitch said:


> Nah, you'd just get a load of vain insecure people never going on dates!


Ha!

I reckon theres a few people that are down to earth on here!


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> Ha!
> 
> I reckon theres a few people that are down to earth on here!


I'm that far down I'm almost horizontal


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> I'm that far down I'm almost horizontal


Who said i was talking about you :whistling:


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> Who said i was talking about you :whistling:


I never said you was


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> I never said you was


ha - my bad!


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## Quinn92 (Jul 25, 2010)

I was swiping through the other day and purple aki popped up among the women!


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> yeah fair point! If only there was a fitness based website where similiar people with similiar ideals could meet and get to know each other eh:whistling:


There is..it's called fitness singles but I think u have to pay


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## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

Skye666 said:


> There is..it's called fitness singles but I *think u have to pay*


how much do you charge for anal?


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

barsnack said:


> how much do you charge for anal?


no trades mans entrance :2guns:


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> no trades mans entrance :2guns:


I got let out a tradesman a entrance this pm felt very privileged


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## Theorist (Jun 18, 2013)

something similar to this..

on a first date we'd go do the usual boring thing and go to a movie and not talk cause you can't talk at a movie.

we won't get to know each other very well so the entire drive back will be spent staring straight ahead, avoiding eye contact, and not speaking a word.

then we'd get back to your place, i'd walk you to your door, and lean in for a kiss. you'd turn your head say 'let's just be friends' and walk in the door.

so i'd pull out a rag and some chloroform, grab you from behind, and smother your face with my rag until you passed out. i'd make sure no one was watching and would drag your body inside where i'd cut open your stomach and eat your intestines. then i'd skull f*ck your corpse until i came all over your dead titties.

i'd wrap your dead body in some plastic bags, put it in the back of my car, drive down to the bridge, and throw it in the water where i dumped all the other chicks that i've met on pof.

lol people thinking i wrote this


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

mrssalvatore said:


> I got let out a tradesman a entrance this pm felt very privileged


Yh that's coz u were staggering after the afternoon slurp of beer they didn't want anyone to see u!


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Theorist said:


> something similar to this..
> 
> on a first date we'd go do the usual boring thing and go to a movie and not talk cause you can't talk at a movie.
> 
> ...


Get some help


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Theorist said:


> something similar to this..
> 
> on a first date we'd go do the usual boring thing and go to a movie and not talk cause you can't talk at a movie.
> 
> ...


I'm guessing no one close to you has ever been a victim of sexual violence.

Send that message to some women on social media even as a joke and i'd expect a visit from the law.


----------



## DanishM (Dec 15, 2013)

I found the solution... Lie, lie, lie & ****ïng lie.

Got 4 on the hook, one of them is coming over later today. :thumb:


----------



## Lokken (Mar 15, 2014)

DanishM said:


> I found the solution... Lie, lie, lie & ****ïng lie.
> 
> Got 4 on the hook, one of them is coming over later today. :thumb:


For real?

Awesome :beer:


----------



## DanishM (Dec 15, 2013)

Lokken said:


> For real?
> 
> Awesome :beer:


Yeah, I tried being like I normally would when approaching girls on the street... That didn't really work, so I tried to lie, and BAM - instantly I had 7 replies...

:beer:


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## Lokken (Mar 15, 2014)

Hehe what did you lie about?


----------



## DanishM (Dec 15, 2013)

blaaaaah


----------



## braxbro (Aug 6, 2013)

The L Man said:


> *Never start a convo crew*
> 
> Girls are being white knighted on the regular so I'm not joining in. 146 matches and only 5 have messaged me lol but yolo.


Agreed, complete waste of time.

Girl at work who had a crush on me ended up going on POF after our thing blew over, I asked her what it was like on there and she said she had received over 1,000 messages. She was a decent girl but nothing spectacular....absolutely staggering.

Also doesn't tinder associate with your facebook profile or something? not keen on random girls you are trying to hook up with being able to browse family and friends, is that the case or not?


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## Lokken (Mar 15, 2014)

This Tinder sounds like jokes. Might have to try it some :laugh:


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## Lokken (Mar 15, 2014)

braxbro said:


> Agreed, complete waste of time.
> 
> Girl at work who had a crush on me ended up going on POF after our thing blew over, I asked her what it was like on there and she said she had received over 1,000 messages. She was a decent girl but nothing spectacular....absolutely staggering.


So you get catches aplenty even if you're mediocre looking?


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## DanishM (Dec 15, 2013)

braxbro said:


> Agreed, complete waste of time.
> 
> Girl at work who had a crush on me ended up going on POF after our thing blew over, I asked her what it was like on there and she said she had received over 1,000 messages. She was a decent girl but nothing spectacular....absolutely staggering.
> 
> Also doesn't tinder associate with your facebook profile or something? not keen on random girls you are trying to hook up with being able to browse family and friends, is that the case or not?


I don't think they can actually see your FB. It only extracts your first name and age, and then you can add pictures from FB - I think that's all.



Lokken said:


> This Tinder sounds like jokes. Might have to try it some :laugh:


Yeah, I'm positively surprised... Give it a go! :tongue:


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## Lokken (Mar 15, 2014)

Theorist said:


> something similar to this..
> 
> on a first date we'd go do the usual boring thing and go to a movie and not talk cause you can't talk at a movie.
> 
> ...


Wow. You are weird.


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## Theorist (Jun 18, 2013)

Lokken said:


> Wow. You are weird.


people still thinking i wrote that :huh:


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## DanishM (Dec 15, 2013)

Theorist said:


> people still thinking i wrote that :huh:


Yeah... Crazy people... We all know that the girl you met on POF wrote it for you before the chloroform business..


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## Lokken (Mar 15, 2014)

Haha, just downloaded it mate. All the swiping is fun. All X's so far though. The difficult part is imagining scrubbing all the make up and lipstick off their faces with a cloth and bucket of water to visualise what they really look like. I guess they call it 'make-up' for a reason.


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## DanishM (Dec 15, 2013)

Lokken said:


> Haha, just downloaded it mate. All the swiping is fun. All X's so far though. The difficult part is imagining scrubbing all the make up and lipstick off their faces with a cloth and bucket of water to visualise what they really look like. I guess they call it 'make-up' for a reason.
> 
> Edit: sh*t just saw the account of a girl that works at my local morrisons :laugh: what do you think of this:
> 
> View attachment 148700


All X's? Wtf?! You only have whales in UK? I'd say that 3/5 of the girls here could be banged - well looking from the pictures at least...

Yeah, it's a though job mate! Girls can be looking 10/10 on pictures, and then when you meet them, they are facking ugly and suddenly 10kg heavier :lol:

Just heart her, what's the worst thing that can happen? It's not like you're going to have to marry every one you heart :lol:


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## Lokken (Mar 15, 2014)

What happen's when you heart them? Do they get an alert?


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## DanishM (Dec 15, 2013)

Lokken said:


> What happen's when you heart them? Do they get an alert?


No, only if they heart you back, then you both get an alert and then you can send a message to them. If you like her, or she likes you and the other person doesn't, then there's no alerts.


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## Lokken (Mar 15, 2014)

Theorist said:


> people still thinking i wrote that :huh:


Must have made you d!ck twinge strongly enough for you to feel the need to share it with us though.


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## Kristina (Apr 12, 2014)

Tinder is ****e. POF isn't bad.

OP you sound like you need to grow some balls, with all due respect!


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

kristina said:


> Tinder is ****e. POF isn't bad.
> 
> OP you sound like you need to grow some balls, with all due respect!


they are all sh1t but ok for a laugh .


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## Dan94 (Dec 29, 2013)

Most of them are stuck up to fúck on there :laugh:


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

kristina said:


> Tinder is ****e. POF isn't bad.
> 
> OP you sound like you need to grow some balls, with all due respect!


Me and my gf disagree


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## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

My opener always is:

On a scale of 1-10 what does your fanny smell like?

1 being lavender and 10 being sarson vinegar

Always works, try it


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

Wheyman said:


> Dont know? w


Its s1ut heaven


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

Lokken said:


> "Do you work at Subway".....
> 
> "Cause you've just given me a foot long"
> 
> ...


No wonder your ****ing banned!! :lol:

The great think about online meeting is that you can push the bounder is alot more. You couldn't walk up to a lass in tesco bread Isle and say "oi luv is it shave day, if so let me have a look, you got WhatsApp? "


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## mcfly666 (Jun 10, 2014)

Opening lines are OK depending on the Woman. But honestly, best way is to try and open an actual conversation. Look at where the picture was taken, do they have any tattoos, what they're wearing ect ect...

Start a convo on a relevant subject, try to be funny and don't sound weird/desperate.

It's not rocket science.


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## Lightning (Jun 23, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> U bunch of useless flirts!!! All of the above is crap and mostly would only be said on a screen coz u prob wouldn't be brave enough face to face!!!
> 
> OP u sound like a right whimsy ass....booo I can't flirt on txt help meeeeee.....what female in their right mind wants u when u can't even converse ...jeez


That's not very helpful. He most likely can converse, but is just looking for tips to improve.

If your friend asks you if should wear the red shoes or the black shoes on her date, would you tell her "Bitch you can't even dress yourself, no man would ever want you!"


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## amy_robin (Jun 2, 2014)

mrssalvatore said:


> Yeah agreed
> 
> I tend to stick to twitter I get more people talking to me on there. All with common training interests to.


I used to be on there met a lot of friends



Smitch said:


> I sacked off POF ages ago, thought it was just full of attention seekers, you're better off trying other sites.


Never been on pof my friends have.....only one I been on is uniform dating


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## amy_robin (Jun 2, 2014)

IGotTekkers said:


> No wonder your ****ing banned!! :lol:
> 
> The great think about online meeting is that you can push the bounder is alot more. You couldn't walk up to a lass in tesco bread Isle and say "oi luv is it shave day, if so let me have a look, you got WhatsApp? "


Hahaha!! surely that dosnt get said even online???


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

amy_robin said:


> Hahaha!! surely that dosnt get said even online???


Lol. Good job you girls arnt allowed in MA :lol:


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## amy_robin (Jun 2, 2014)

IGotTekkers said:


> Lol. Good job you girls arnt allowed in MA :lol:


Hahaha!!! am I allowed in if im gay??


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

amy_robin said:


> Hahaha!!! am I allowed in if im gay??


No but if you show me where your willy should be ill get you access


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## amy_robin (Jun 2, 2014)

IGotTekkers said:


> No but if you show me where your willy should be ill get you access


Whoop!! That was easy!! P.s did u open your shop?


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

amy_robin said:


> Whoop!! That was easy!! P.s did u open your shop?


Not yet, another couple weeks and it should be ready


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

IGotTekkers said:


> Not yet, another couple weeks and it should be ready


I'll hit you up for a fleshlight, srs


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

Gary29 said:


> I'll hit you up for a fleshlight, srs


Will be the cheapest online mate


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## Fortunatus (Apr 12, 2013)

its your lucky day babe, I'm willing to fvck you, this offer expires by midnight today and has a use by date of 5 days.


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## amy_robin (Jun 2, 2014)

Gary29 said:


> I'll hit you up for a fleshlight, srs





IGotTekkers said:


> Will be the cheapest online mate


I have my shopping list ready


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

'Old Person, signing in'

With this Tinder lark it says you need a facebook profile to use it, why is this? Will my facebook wall suddenly get loads of updates which basically say 'swan's a loner and needs a woman' etc


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## amy_robin (Jun 2, 2014)

SwAn1 said:


> 'Old Person, signing in'
> 
> With this Tinder lark it says you need a facebook profile to use it, why is this? Will my facebook wall suddenly get loads of updates which basically say 'swan's a loner and needs a woman' etc


I went for a look and saw that you needed fb so I didnt bother


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

amy_robin said:


> I went for a look and saw that you needed fb so I didnt bother


Yeah it's putting me off, tbf I don't do 'chat up lines' so its probably for the best


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## amy_robin (Jun 2, 2014)

SwAn1 said:


> Yeah it's putting me off, tbf I don't do 'chat up lines' so its probably for the best


No me neither....I was curious because of all the talk on here but like u said probably for the best x


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

SwAn1 said:


> 'Old Person, signing in'
> 
> With this Tinder lark it says you need a facebook profile to use it, why is this? Will my facebook wall suddenly get loads of updates which basically say 'swan's a loner and needs a woman' etc


That's why iv not used it yet. Can imagine the Mrs is asleep and i log in for a little chat to some slag and i get a notification on everyone's news feed "tekkers has signed into tinder, be the first to chat with him"

I'll get the divorce papers ready.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Lightning said:


> That's not very helpful. He most likely can converse, but is just looking for tips to improve.
> 
> If your friend asks you if should wear the red shoes or the black shoes on her date, would you tell her "Bitch you can't even dress yourself, no man would ever want you!"


I prob wouldn't call her a bitch coz that's hash but yes I'm likely to say what's wrong with u that u can't make a damn decision on shoes????


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

IGotTekkers said:


> Will be the cheapest online mate


Where be this shop..I need to come and cause some trouble


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

Skye666 said:


> Where be this shop..I need to come and cause some trouble


It will be online within the next few weeks


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

Skye666 said:


> Where be this shop..I need to come and cause some trouble


But if you need to try the products in person im sure we can arrange a 1 on 1 demonstration etc


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

IGotTekkers said:


> That's why iv not used it yet. Can imagine the Mrs is asleep and i log in for a little chat to some slag and i get a notification on everyone's news feed "tekkers has signed into tinder, be the first to chat with him"
> 
> I'll get the divorce papers ready.


It's passive... doesn't have permission to post anything. It just obtains your name, age and pictures from there.


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## Lightning (Jun 23, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> I prob wouldn't call her a bitch coz that's hash but yes I'm likely to say what's wrong with u that u can't make a damn decision on shoes????


So in your world-view, anybody that asks a question is highly incompetent and anybody that asks for an opinion has something wrong with them and can't make his/her own decisions?


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

IGotTekkers said:


> But if you need to try the products in person im sure we can arrange a 1 on 1 demonstration etc


What are u selling?


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Lightning said:


> So in your world-view, anybody that asks a question is highly incompetent and anybody that asks for an opinion has something wrong with them and can't make his/her own decisions?


Hold on before u get too deep buddy....this was referring to a grown man who dosnt know how to talk/ make convo to a girl and ur quote referring to what I would say if a friend asks me what shoes to wear coz she can't decide. Both...really trivial in my 'world view' and if they can't do this it's a sad day. It's a. Constant thing on this site that a man can't make convo with a female I just don't get it.


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## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> What are u selling?


What about hey babe, do you like getting smashed up the gary ?

or you may have missed another one of mine earlier so I will re write it for your evaluation:

Hi,

On a scale of 1-10 what does your gash smell like ?

1 being lavender and 10 being Sarson's vinegar ?


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## Lightning (Jun 23, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> Hold on before u get too deep buddy....this was referring to a grown man who dosnt know how to talk/ make convo to a girl and ur quote referring to what I would say if a friend asks me what shoes to wear coz she can't decide. Both...really trivial in my 'world view' and if they can't do this it's a sad day. It's a. Constant thing on this site that a man can't make convo with a female I just don't get it.


What is there to get or not get? The cause is probably a lack of experience. Either way, he recognizes that there is an aspect of himself that could be improved, and he is taking active steps to improve it, by asking people who might have more experience, and by going out and talking to women.

Regardless, your comments serve no purpose other than to be derogatory, and that's something that I "just don't get".


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Sams said:


> What about hey babe, do you like getting smashed up the gary ?
> 
> or you may have missed another one of mine earlier so I will re write it for your evaluation:
> 
> ...


Your looking at getting reported...shush ya gums and ya vulgar trap.


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Lightning said:


> What is there to get or not get? The cause is probably a lack of experience. Either way, he recognizes that there is an aspect of himself that could be improved, and he is taking active steps to improve it, by asking people who might have more experience, and by going out and talking to women.
> 
> Regardless, your comments serve no purpose other than to be derogatory, and that's something that I "just don't get".


Careful she might 'report' you


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## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

SwAn1 said:


> Careful she might 'report' you


Oh no you didn't!!


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Lightning said:


> What is there to get or not get? The cause is probably a lack of experience. Either way, he recognizes that there is an aspect of himself that could be improved, and he is taking active steps to improve it, by asking people who might have more experience, and by going out and talking to women.
> 
> Regardless, your comments serve no purpose other than to be derogatory, and that's something that I "just don't get".


Derogatory?? Oh god lighten up man ( no pun intended) ur going way tooooo serious with this. There's 8 people that agreed with my post most of which don't normally agree with me so if it was in any way derogatory I'm sure they would be agreeing with u, the simple fact is it's 2014 and the majority of young guys cannot make a simple conversation now I'm not talking about how to be eloquent, or use correct grammar, or how to make conversation when u have a stammer as I understand these might be difficult but basic ..hi how are u, would u like to meet for a drink, what line of work are u in, Yada yarda.. with a view to this of course my comments serve a purpose, it sounds like u are trying to make it a serious case of me being insensitive...don't think so..we all have a lack of experience at some time or other and the way we learn is to get out there and do..u can't teach someone how to chat for god sake.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

SwAn1 said:


> Careful she might 'report' you


I prob wouldn't actually. But he's vile.


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Skye666 said:


> ..hi how are u, would u like to meet for a drink, what line of work are u in, Yada yarda.. .


You think this would work on an online dating site, as after all that's where he's seeking help. Like I say I'm old so what do I know, but I'd hazard a guess Hi how are you and would you like to go for a drink wouldn't cut much mustard


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## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> I prob wouldn't actually. But he's vile.


I just asked your opinion ? If they would work


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

SwAn1 said:


> You think this would work on an online dating site, as after all that's where he's seeking help. Like I say I'm old so what do I know, but I'd hazard a guess Hi how are you and would you like to go for a drink wouldn't cut much mustard


But I meant they are the simple basics....and maybe that's the prob too much online chat..I'm old too swan would u like to go for a drink :lol:


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## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Skye666 said:


> But I meant they are the simple basics....and maybe that's the prob too much online chat..I'm old too swan would u like to go for a drink :lol:


Yeah ok then as long as you take my dentures out when I've had a few........actually scrap that you'd eat me alive, I'm quite laid back and like a quiet life and you strike me as you could be a handful


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

SwAn1 said:


> Yeah ok then as long as you take my dentures out when I've had a few........actually scrap that you'd eat me alive, I'm quite laid back and like a quiet life and you strike me as you could be a handful


Haha nah I think people just get me all wrong ...half the time I'm just a lil wind up mercy t but don't tell anyone ...did I just get blown out? Thanks


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## Lightning (Jun 23, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> Derogatory?? Oh god lighten up man ( no pun intended) ur going way tooooo serious with this. There's 8 people that agreed with my post most of which don't normally agree with me so if it was in any way derogatory I'm sure they would be agreeing with u, the simple fact is it's 2014 and the majority of young guys cannot make a simple conversation now I'm not talking about how to be eloquent, or use correct grammar, or how to make conversation when u have a stammer as I understand these might be difficult but basic ..*hi how are u, would u like to meet for a drink, what line of work are u in, Yada yarda..* with a view to this of course my comments serve a purpose, it sounds like u are trying to make it a serious case of me being insensitive...don't think so..we all have a lack of experience at some time or other and the way we learn is to get out there and do..u can't teach someone how to chat for god sake.


With all due respect, your statement above just shows that you're making comments on something that you fundamentally do not understand. "hi how are u" is one of the least effective ways to start a conversation in this context. If you noticed, the guys that have reported more success are the ones that manage to bait the conversation with some sort of hook. Starting a conversation online is very different to starting a conversation at a pub.

Also, yes, I would say that "u sound like a right whimsy ass....booo I can't flirt on txt help meeeeee....." is a bit of a derogatory statement. It doesn't matter how many people liked it; it's not a competition on who gets more likes. (This isn't facebook!)


----------



## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Merkleman said:


> Roses are red, Violets are blue, suck my dìck and I will pay you


No one ever notice violets are actually violet and not blue.


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## Guest (Aug 21, 2014)

Not read past first page of opening chat up lines . . . OH DEAR GOD.

Just be friendly and funny (most decent women like a good sence of humer).

TRY NOT to be sleazy but a bit naughty is ok.

Stay a bit mysterious and keep them guessing.

And dont lie.


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

SwAn1 said:


> Yeah ok then as long as you take my dentures out when I've had a few........actually scrap that you'd eat me alive, I'm quite laid back and like a quiet life and you strike me as you could be a handful


Do it my son.

Get it done for all of us.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Lightning said:


> With all due respect, your statement above just shows that you're making comments on something that you fundamentally do not understand. "hi how are u" is one of the least effective ways to start a conversation in this context. If you noticed, the guys that have reported more success are the ones that manage to bait the conversation with some sort of hook. Starting a conversation online is very different to starting a conversation at a pub.
> 
> Also, yes, I would say that "u sound like a right whimsy ass....booo I can't flirt on txt help meeeeee....." is a bit of a derogatory statement. It doesn't matter how many people liked it; it's not a competition on who gets more likes. (This isn't facebook!)


So lightening as ur choosing to start being a pain in ass now over absolutely nothing..who are u really? Coz I'm now suspicious...we are how many pages in and ur quoting what I said to the op and yet the person himself hasn't had a whine about it so why are u? I wasn't comparing to fb I was stating if u are correct there would be others that agreed ...anyway quite frankly I couldn't care a hoot what u think it's hardly a deadly serious thread ur acting like I did something terrible...sod off if u don't like me or my posts don't re quote me.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> Do it my son.
> 
> Get it done for all of us.


I am here ya know!


----------



## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> I am here ya know!


Well if he doesn't do it, I'm gonna have to drive down and get it done!


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> Well if he doesn't do it, I'm gonna have to drive down and get it done!


Behave..mr.


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Behave..mr.


If we all behaved no one would ever do anything fun.


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## husky (Jan 31, 2010)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> Well if he doesn't do it, I'm gonna have to drive down and get it done!


Romance is dead in this one me thinks, Skye you know who to contact if your ever up here and want treated right mrs :wub:


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

husky said:


> Romance is dead in this one me thinks, Skye you know who to contact if your ever up here and want treated right mrs :wub:


Ha I'm actually a pretty nice guy, just ask my parole officer


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> If we all behaved no one would ever do anything fun.


Lol true


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

husky said:


> Romance is dead in this one me thinks, Skye you know who to contact if your ever up here and want treated right mrs :wub:


Arrrrr mi husky one.....problem here tho..ur married!! Lol... But I do think there should be more like u :thumbup1:


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## Lightning (Jun 23, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> So lightening as ur choosing to start being a pain in ass now over absolutely nothing..who are u really? Coz I'm now suspicious...we are how many pages in and ur quoting what I said to the op and yet the person himself hasn't had a whine about it so why are u? I wasn't comparing to fb I was stating if u are correct there would be others that agreed ...anyway quite frankly I couldn't care a hoot what u think it's hardly a deadly serious thread ur acting like I did something terrible...sod off if u don't like me or my posts don't re quote me.


I don't have an agenda, other than to let you know that you were being rude. I'm not making a big fuss of it, I just said that what you did wasn't cool.

I quoted what you said in response to your question of what you said that was derogatory. You ask a question and then get upset when somebody responds?


----------



## vetran (Oct 17, 2009)

youd be surprised how many women wanted to come to the lawnmower museum with me


----------



## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Haha nah I think people just get me all wrong ...half the time I'm just a lil wind up mercy t but don't tell anyone ...did I just get blown out? Thanks


I think you should let @SwAn1 tear through and then we can make a thread about it. Discuss pro's and con's of what you thought of each other.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Sams said:


> I think you should let @SwAn1 tear through and then we can make a thread about it. Discuss pro's and con's of what you thought of each other.


Little boy Weener....go away


----------



## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

Who needs Tinder when Skye's in this thread


----------



## Sams (Nov 3, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Little boy Weener....go away


Don't make me report you Skye, I rely on you for female opinion on what's right and wrong and what I can say or do to females.


----------



## JS95 (Aug 29, 2010)

WilsonR6 said:


> Ask them what they are in to then lie through your back teeth
> 
> With* fat girls who never seem to have any hobbies* just tell them there's something really sexy about them, then maybe talk about food lol :lol:
> 
> Good luck!


Don't know why but this proper made me chuckle :lol:


----------

