# Would you take back someone who has cheated on you?



## Irish Beast (Jun 16, 2009)

As above? Would be interested to hear opinions


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Add a poll mate

but no


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## FGT (Jun 2, 2008)

Kids involved more than likely, if not then no!


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## Ninja_smurf (Jun 4, 2012)

aww he's not cheated on you has he? lol

Short answer, no

Could never look her in the face again if she did.


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## Franko1 (Nov 19, 2008)

NO. Once the trust is abused then theres no way of trusting them again IMO.


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## B.Johnson (Mar 12, 2012)

Mine did about 5 years ago. Hit me really hard. Absolutely destroyed me but I for some reason I stuck at it and we've now got 2 kids and are really happy. A lot of people will say that they'd get rid in a heart beat, and I always said that, but when it comes down to it sometimes it's not such an easy decision.


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## Conscript (Sep 5, 2010)

No, not unless it was part of a master plan for revenge and then vengeance!!


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## Gym-pig (Jun 25, 2008)

Was going to say 100% no but then someone mentioned kids

Guess I dont really know !


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## MattWakefield (Jun 22, 2012)

what about you were broke up a few month, had a brief relationship with someone else then wanted you back???

I am in this situation!!


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## Sharpiedj (Oct 24, 2011)

Not a chance, my ex was doing the text business with another lad. I still want to give her a piece of my mind not seen her yet


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## Franko1 (Nov 19, 2008)

MattWakefield said:


> what about you were broke up a few month, had a brief relationship with someone else then wanted you back???
> 
> I am in this situation!!


But were you cheated on?


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## Irish Beast (Jun 16, 2009)

No kids involved! At least I hope not!


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## Lean D (Jun 21, 2012)

Never.

Not a Chance.

*If you do more fool you!*


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## Ninja_smurf (Jun 4, 2012)

MattWakefield said:


> what about you were broke up a few month, had a brief relationship with someone else then wanted you back???
> 
> I am in this situation!!


Say yes ok then, soon as she comes back go on a night out, pull a decent bird, walk up to your missus and tell her it's over. Have a good night with said pulled bird then txt your missus next day and say you want her back.

See how she feckin likes it


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## MattWakefield (Jun 22, 2012)

nope, we were broke up she started seeing someone else, wants me back now though.........

Dont get me wrong i've been with girls while we have been broke up, just thinkinh it might hurt cos she obvs had 'feelings' for this kid


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## fitrut (Nov 20, 2007)

never

once cheating-always cheating


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## britbull (Mar 18, 2004)

For me it would depend on a lot of things, not everything is black and white

That said a close friend has been lying to me recently regarding a coke habit and I'm finding it hard to just accept it, I now find myself double-guessing every single thing they say

In short when emotions are involved common sense goes out of the window


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## Wheyman (Sep 6, 2011)

no


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## fozyspilgrims (Oct 22, 2007)

I'd like to say no, and 99% of the time it would be no even if it was just a kiss, but having said that you never know!


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## Pictor (Jan 10, 2011)

Nope, not 4rsed if kids involved or not....


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## Sharpiedj (Oct 24, 2011)

i am getting pi$$ed off for you mate.


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

Just depends on what happened. If it was a drunken [email protected], then maybe. But if it was more than once & sober, then no!

Don't get hurt mate, there's plenty around that'll want your saorga. (should mean sausage)


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## husky (Jan 31, 2010)

probably but only to return the favour-maybe with her mum and sister or best friend -then tell her and walk away with head held high


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## Ninja_smurf (Jun 4, 2012)

Big Ste said:


> Nope, not 4rsed if kids involved or not....


Exactly, having kids is by no means a saftey net for cheating.

She would be out on her @rse if she cheated on me, then I'd physically beat her with the children :thumb: lol


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## Gym-pig (Jun 25, 2008)

fitrut said:


> never
> 
> once cheating-always cheating


No kids involved then this !!

Leopards and spots !


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## NatRookie (Feb 23, 2012)

i honestly wouldnt, once you take them back they know that they can keep doing it without repercussions!

a leopard doesn't change its spots!


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## chinup (Apr 5, 2012)

no way or maybe just one last time to kick her back doors in then dump her


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## Ninja_smurf (Jun 4, 2012)

chinup said:


> no way or maybe just one last time to kick her back doors in then dump her


I dont think i could go near a bird again if she'd just cheated on me!

Swift kick to the axe wound is about as close as I'd get again lol


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

latblaster said:


> Just depends on what happened. If it was a drunken [email protected], then maybe. But if it was more than once & sober, then no!
> 
> Don't get hurt mate, there's plenty around that'll want your saorga. (should mean sausage)


Why would bein drunk make a difference

Cant stand people who use "i was drunk" as an excuse.. you still know what the fcuk your doin


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## Joebrah (Aug 10, 2012)

MattWakefield said:


> what about you were broke up a few month, had a brief relationship with someone else then wanted you back???
> 
> I am in this situation!!


I am in the identical situation, and yes i am going to talk when I see her next and hope to give it another go, did/do you really love this person, if you can answer yes then don't let the chance go by mate.

On the cheating front, never would I take someone back, I've been cheated on and it's my biggest hatred


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## fitrut (Nov 20, 2007)

Gym-pig said:


> No kids involved then this !!
> 
> Leopards and spots !


kids dont change a thing, once cheating always cheating


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## ki3rz (Sep 12, 2011)

Breda said:


> Why would bein drunk make a difference
> 
> Cant stand people who use "i was drunk" as an excuse.. you still know what the fcuk your doin


exactly! you can still tell the difference between what's right and what's wrong even if you're smashed..

and no, if someone cheated on me, that would be the end of it


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

No ****ing way i would!


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## Joebrah (Aug 10, 2012)

Breda said:


> Why would bein drunk make a difference
> 
> Cant stand people who use "i was drunk" as an excuse.. you still know what the fcuk your doin


Couldn't agree more breda, using alcohol as an excuse is a kop out. Deal with the consequences!


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## LeBigMac (Jul 17, 2011)

Too many variables for a straight answer. If my wife become 'envolved' with someone else on a regular basis then this would never be forgiven all the lies and deceit that goes with it. This I could never forgive. If however, it was a one night mistake then we would have to look very closely at why it happend - what was missing, what's wrong with our marriage etc I love my wife dearly and do believe if we are meant to be together then we would work it out. I'd go down fighting for what I have that's for sure!

Having said that I still don't know if I could completly forgive and without complete and utter forgiveness you could never move on. I guess until faced with this situation you never really know how you will respond.

What ever happens mate. Hope it all works out for the best.

"it will all come good in the end, if it's not come good then it can't be the end"


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

Never ever. Couldn't look her in the face again I don't think


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Joebrah said:


> I am in the identical situation, and yes i am going to talk when I see her next and hope to give it another go, did/do you really love this person, if you can answer yes then don't let the chance go by mate.
> 
> On the cheating front, never would I take someone back, I've been cheated on and it's my biggest hatred


I've been in the situation and its not easy... kinda makes you feel like a punk and you cant even complain cos you havent been cheated on


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## Ninja_smurf (Jun 4, 2012)

LeBigMac said:


> Too many variables for a straight answer. If my wife become 'envolved' with someone else on a regular basis then this would never be forgiven all the lies and deceit that goes with it. This I could never forgive. If however, it was a one night mistake then we would have to look very closely at why it happend - what was missing, what's wrong with our marriage etc I love my wife dearly and do believe if we are meant to be together then we would work it out. I'd go down fighting for what I have that's for sure!
> 
> Having said that I still don't know if I could completly forgive and without complete and utter forgiveness you could never move on. I guess until faced with this situation you never really know how you will respond.
> 
> ...


Cheating is cheating mate.

How can it ever be a mistake or a spur of the moment thing? It's ALWAYS pre meditated unless of course someone slips and lands it in her!


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## Ash1981 (Jun 16, 2009)

Yea my missus lied to me for about 7 months over something silly really, not cheating

But im still finding it hard to trust her, the only solution in my stupid head is to get my on back, i have got 3 girls lines up as sad as it sounds, its just a case now of going through the formalities


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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

MattWakefield said:


> what about you were broke up a few month, had a brief relationship with someone else then wanted you back???
> 
> I am in this situation!!


It didn't work out before so why would you expect it to work out this time. A definite no if she broke up with you as you're probably just an easy ego restorer for her.


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## PHHead (Aug 20, 2008)

No as if you do they then know they can get away with it and will just continue to mug you off for the rest of your days!


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

ash1981 said:


> Yea my missus lied to me for about 7 months over something silly really, not cheating
> 
> But im still finding it hard to trust her, the only solution in my stupid head is to get my on back, i have got 3 girls lines up as sad as it sounds, its just a case now of going through the formalities


Tried counselling? If she didn't get involved with someone, it can't be that bad..or is it?


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## ClareAnne (Aug 6, 2012)

I took an ex back after cheating on me when I was younger, but now being older and wiser I would never ever take back someone that cheated on me.

If you want to **** about with someone else then fine just go do that and finish the relationship... you cannot have your cake and eat it. Not with me anyways, to the bin he would go!


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## LeBigMac (Jul 17, 2011)

Ninja_smurf said:


> Cheating is cheating mate.
> 
> How can it ever be a mistake or a spur of the moment thing? It's ALWAYS pre meditated unless of course someone slips and lands it in her!


Yes but a pre-meditated action can still be a mistake.


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## chinup (Apr 5, 2012)

Ninja_smurf said:


> I dont think i could go near a bird again if she'd just cheated on me!
> 
> Swift kick to the axe wound is about as close as I'd get again lol


true but if butt virgin would give chat that it would save then destroy then kick to the kerb

would never hit them better to degrade them


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## Irish Beast (Jun 16, 2009)

Thanks all,

This is really frying my head! She was always accusing me of having affairs and I was 100% faithful. Would never do that to someone i loved. I would have given her the world despite her treating me like a complete cu.nt day in day out. Don't know what I done to deserve it!


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## Raptor (Feb 16, 2010)

I very much doubt that i would take someone back after cheating on me, it would fcuk my ego up too much


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## Raptor (Feb 16, 2010)

Irish Beast said:


> Thanks all,
> 
> This is really frying my head! She was always accusing me of having affairs and I was 100% faithful. Would never do that to someone i loved. I would have given her the world despite her treating me like a complete cu.nt day in day out. Don't know what I done to deserve it!


Some people are just prone to cheating mate, i've cheated on lovely girls in the past... i was simply thinking of my genitals at the time


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## Irish Beast (Jun 16, 2009)

fitrut said:


> never
> 
> once cheating-always cheating


She said when we were together I was the only person who she hadn't cheated on! I am only considering becoming gay!


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## Joebrah (Aug 10, 2012)

LeBigMac said:


> Yes but a pre-meditated action can still be a mistake.


Mistake or not, If they went out to cheat, or cheated on a whim they still knew what they were doing, they still show they truly don't give a sh*t about the person they are with. It's indefensible, inexcusable and pathetic


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Irish Beast said:


> Thanks all,
> 
> This is really frying my head! She was always accusing me of having affairs and I was 100% faithful. Would never do that to someone i loved. I would have given her the world despite her treating me like a complete cu.nt day in day out. Don't know what I done to deserve it!


Dont blame yourself

Fcuk knows why she did it but she did... dont take her ass back surely you want better for yourself


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## Irish Beast (Jun 16, 2009)

Ninja_smurf said:


> Cheating is cheating mate.
> 
> How can it ever be a mistake or a spur of the moment thing? It's ALWAYS pre meditated unless of course someone slips and lands it in her![/quote
> 
> She was sh4gging a bloke in our bed while I was out for the day and also sh4gging guys while in work!!!


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## Irish Beast (Jun 16, 2009)

her best mate told me about what she was doing. Needless to say they no longer speak!


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## Joebrah (Aug 10, 2012)

Irish Beast said:


> She said when we were together I was the only person who she hadn't cheated on! I am only considering becoming gay!


If someone told me that it'd do my head in, knowing she has cheated on every partner in the past. Better to be single than someone like that


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## Zola (Mar 14, 2012)

Absolutely not


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## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

my ex had she cheated on me, then would depend on circumstance, if she was hammered and it was something she regretted then yeah i would have, but if it was when she was sober then nooooo


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## Dezw (May 13, 2009)

Definitely not.


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## constantbulk (Dec 27, 2010)

100% no, its not right and as some 1 else said probably cheat again


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## hometrainer (Apr 9, 2003)

i took mine back but after that i never rearly trusted her agian and felt that i was such a soft touch over her she thought she would always get away with doing things like this. as much as it hurt i let her go in the end


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## Pain2Gain (Feb 28, 2012)

I took one back once and it was the biggest mistake of my life! Feck her reet off and find some thing fresh and make sure she's miles fitter the. The ex


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## Raptor (Feb 16, 2010)

barsnack said:


> my ex had she cheated on me, then would depend on circumstance, if she was hammered and it was something she regretted then yeah i would have, but if it was when she was sober then nooooo


Lol i wouldn't be happy if a girl cheated on me just because she was drunk


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## Sambuca (Jul 25, 2012)

No under any circumstance.


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## Nidge (Jan 22, 2007)

Irish Beast said:


> As above? Would be interested to hear opinions


No because they'll do it again.


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## Al n (Mar 31, 2011)

I don't think I could. I've been the unfaithful [email protected] in the past yet the girl in question took me back. I personally think that my pride alone would prevent me from giving someone a second chance when they'd already chosen someone else while with me.


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## Redbeard85 (Mar 26, 2011)

Depends mate. I have before and we are still together. If she wasn't preggers I probably would have got rid, but glad i didn't


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## Little stu (Oct 26, 2011)

Once a cheat always a cheat and no one ever learns there lesson I wouldn't expect the wife to forgive me so why should I forgive her


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## Lethagized (Mar 26, 2008)

My missis and her stupid mate both sucked a guys nob in a phonebox whilst out on the ****. I found out and immediately chucked herr out. Whilst she wasn't around she found out she was pregnant with her first child. Admittedly i wasn't that bothered about having a kid, it wasn't planned but i did want to be around for the kid when it was born and i wanted her to have a dad to bring her up properly so i forgave and forgot and took the mrs back. Obviously i was questioning who the dad might be, but i knew straight away that she was mine when she was born and got older which put my mind at ease a lot. That was 4 years ago now and we've had another kid since. To be entirely honest, i would cheat on her no problem if i had the opportunity. I know she hasn't cheated since, but the weird thing is, i don't think i would be that bothered any more because i don't love her. I'm sick of her now and want out of the relationship. The kids are the problem here. I can't bear the though of being apart from them for more than a day.


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## bottleneck25 (Sep 25, 2009)

If i treated a girl the best i could give her everything she could ever want and more and she then went on to cheat on me there is not a chance in hell i would take her back my misses know this , but i can understand why some people do cheat when they ant happy with their partner but they should just brake up .. My mum cheated on my dad and he was close to killing himself from it sufferd really bad depression lost alot of wieght luckily he didnt turn to drugs or alchol tho cheating is a big no for me ..


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## DoIEvenLift (Feb 10, 2011)

Irish Beast said:


> holy **** mate! proper slag there mate no offence! dont even think about getting back with her!


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## AnotherLevel (Mar 27, 2012)

Absolutely not. No exceptions.

It's not like I can consciously overlook it... it's an instinctual thing, for me at least. Or perhaps a nurture thing. In any case I can't just let things like that go. They'd be out. Have had a girl who wasn't quite my girlfriend play me in the past and from then on I was unable to hold any respect for her.


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## bottleneck25 (Sep 25, 2009)

Lethagized said:


> My missis and her stupid mate both sucked a guys nob in a phonebox whilst out on the ****. I found out and immediately chucked herr out. Whilst she wasn't around she found out she was pregnant with her first child. Admittedly i wasn't that bothered about having a kid, it wasn't planned but i did want to be around for the kid when it was born and i wanted her to have a dad to bring her up properly so i forgave and forgot and took the mrs back. Obviously i was questioning who the dad might be, but i knew straight away that she was mine when she was born and got older which put my mind at ease a lot. That was 4 years ago now and we've had another kid since.To be entirely honest, i would cheat on her no problem if i had the opportunity. I know she hasn't cheated since, but the weird thing is, i don't think i would be that bothered any more because i don't love her. I'm sick of her now and want out of the relationship. The kids are the problem here. I can't bear the though of being apart from them aday.


 bloody hell mate thats sounds like a nightmare to me youd be better off just leavinv on good terms mate you dont wanna cheat as then she will be a dick and try and let you not see the kids .


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## AnotherLevel (Mar 27, 2012)

Lethagized said:


> My missis and her stupid mate both sucked a guys nob in a phonebox whilst out on the ****. I found out and immediately chucked herr out. Whilst she wasn't around she found out she was pregnant with her first child. Admittedly i wasn't that bothered about having a kid, it wasn't planned but i did want to be around for the kid when it was born and i wanted her to have a dad to bring her up properly so i forgave and forgot and took the mrs back. Obviously i was questioning who the dad might be, but i knew straight away that she was mine when she was born and got older which put my mind at ease a lot. That was 4 years ago now and we've had another kid since. To be entirely honest, i would cheat on her no problem if i had the opportunity. I know she hasn't cheated since, but the weird thing is, i don't think i would be that bothered any more because i don't love her. I'm sick of her now and want out of the relationship. The kids are the problem here. I can't bear the though of being apart from them for more than a day.


I feel for you mate. Surprised you didn't get the DNA test on the first kid ASAP... I couldn't trust gut feeling. Credit to you for intending the right thing for your kids, but do not feel bad if you choose to leave. I don't hold anything against my dad for divorcing my mum... it's what he did afterwards and how **** of a father he was that's the real issue. A kid can understand divorce, I did even when I was 6.


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## FGT (Jun 2, 2008)

Having now read your how this question came about, her doing the wild thing in your bed with snother bloke and riding a guy at work like sea biscuit, then I would kick the b1tch in the furry triangle and take a dump on her face!

Oh and try for a emotional bunk up with her best mate who told you (as long as its a she)!


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

IB, no chance mate, I did it when I was younger and regretted it pretty quickly and still do. Move on, lots of birds out there...


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## Irish Beast (Jun 16, 2009)

Thanks for calling me Raptor. that was dead nice of you pal


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Who called you RAP?


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## MSX (Aug 15, 2012)

If I was married and had kids, then I would give it a go and try and sort it out. Any other condition would be a no, just isn't worth it, as if there willing to do it in the first place, they'll gladly do it again..

Best advice I can give you Irish is to stay clear of her. Yeah it may hurt and those "feelings" will be a pain in the ass for a while, but in the long run you'll be happier for it and as said above, if she knows she can get away with it, then shes more than likely going to do it again. Just think it though and do what you see best, but remember mate, she's not the only fish in the sea!

Cheers,


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## cult (Nov 7, 2009)

Havent read all the thread but i fyour misses has cheated on her, ditch her to fcuk. thats if theres no kids involved. Mines cheated on me a few years ago, only really found out about it after she poped my 3kids out. I went ****ing crazy but back on the scene now but when i get me wee break im off to fcuk because i honestly think about it every single day of my life and has actuly changed me as a person.


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## cult (Nov 7, 2009)

Lethagized said:


> My missis and her stupid mate both sucked a guys nob in a phonebox whilst out on the ****. I found out and immediately chucked herr out. Whilst she wasn't around she found out she was pregnant with her first child. Admittedly i wasn't that bothered about having a kid, it wasn't planned but i did want to be around for the kid when it was born and i wanted her to have a dad to bring her up properly so i forgave and forgot and took the mrs back. Obviously i was questioning who the dad might be, but i knew straight away that she was mine when she was born and got older which put my mind at ease a lot. That was 4 years ago now and we've had another kid since. To be entirely honest, i would cheat on her no problem if i had the opportunity. I know she hasn't cheated since, but the weird thing is, i don't think i would be that bothered any more because i don't love her. I'm sick of her now and want out of the relationship. The kids are the problem here. I can't bear the though of being apart from them for more than a day.


Same here, i dont really give a fcuk about my misses anymore. Im here for the kids but like i said , once i get my wee break im of to fcuk. I have a plan and if it works out, ill have all the money of teh house when it sells and im walking away with it all and finding a chick wholl love me and never cheat


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## Akira (Nov 1, 2011)

NOOOOOOOOO.

Plus most people on here have the bodies to get a better woman - so if you do use it!


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## dannydean07 (Jun 14, 2012)

No, trust is like tinfoil once its screwed it will never be as smooth as it was at the start


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## Sub-Zero (May 2, 2011)

No. The relationship wouldn't be the same and there would always be trust issues.


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## Glassback (Jun 18, 2010)

No chance. I wouldnt accept damaged goods at Tescos, so wouldnt from some cheating bitch either.


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## SATANSEVILTWIN (Feb 22, 2012)

kids wouldnt come into it.the trust is gone so, bye bye.


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## BigTrev (Mar 16, 2008)

only if she did with a sexy looking lesbian,,i would probably encourage it again to.


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## murphy2010 (Dec 17, 2010)

Nope, even if it was something as little as a kiss


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## Raptor (Feb 16, 2010)

BigTrev said:


> only if she did with a sexy looking lesbian,,i would probably encourage it again to.


The reason all my gf's have been bisexual :thumb:

(only allowed if i am there tho)


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## BB_999 (Feb 20, 2006)

Not in a million years, kids or not.

Then again, there's no chance of any woman wanting to cheat on a stud like me anyway. :whistling:


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

not read any as its a simple no

never


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

If ur broken up it's not cheating. Me and my ex broke up for 2 months then got back together both knew the other had done stuff when SINGLE. Didn't disguss It and moved on past it. U don't own her after u break up, why should she be celibate Incase u want her back.

Cheating on me. Straight out the door have done with 2 exes and never looked back.


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

When I dumped ex 2 months later she did get back with the guy despite dumping him for me ...


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

there's like 4 billion people on the globe with a cnut...........................why go back???


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## FAKEBL00D (Aug 14, 2012)

no no no, that **** would eat me up inside and things could never be the same.


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## LIL-SCOOB-23 (Jun 16, 2012)

Not unless ur a muppet then u would get back with them a ex is a example of what not to have in ur life thats the way i look at it anyway , n true what uriel plenty more Gash out there


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## vetran (Oct 17, 2009)

no do not go back with a cheat, get yourself a dog instead,you lock your misses and a dog in the boot of your car for an hour and when you open it see who is pleased to see you the most,fck her off bro


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## Diegouru (Oct 31, 2010)

Never in a million years. I could forgive, but neber forget...


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## Ninja_smurf (Jun 4, 2012)

LeBigMac said:


> Yes but a pre-meditated action can still be a mistake.


But it's only ever a mistake when theyre caught isnt it?


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## rye1088 (Aug 6, 2012)

I would have always said 'NOT A CHANCE' until recently when I cheated on somebody and I was forgiven... so from that day foward it would depend on the person and the situation.


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Life is never black and white and some people deserve a second chance whilst others dont.

Fu*k what other people say, you do what is right for you and your heart and then if it doesnt work out at least you tried.


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## TS99 (Dec 27, 2011)

No fvcking way, id stab her in the face and drive my car through the blokes house.


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## Gridlock1436114498 (Nov 11, 2004)

I'd find it very difficult, but I have too much invested to let it all go easily.

A one off indiscretion I could probably get over, something repeated or longer term would be much harder but ultimately I think I'd want my family back.


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## haza1234 (Jan 8, 2012)

NO! they will eventually do it again, Fact!


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## Chelsea (Sep 19, 2009)

Haven't read this all the way but:

NO WAY!!!

I have far too much pride for that and in fact id probably make it my mission to bang someone they know to get back at them haha.

Anyone can forgive but no one can forget no matter how hard they try.


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

Milky said:


> Life is never black and white and some people deserve a second chance whilst others dont.
> 
> Fu*k what other people say, you do what is right for you and your heart and then if it doesnt work out at least you tried.


It's black and white for me when it comes to this kind of thing mate. I couldn't be intimate with her again if I knew she'd lied to me or been fcuking around with some other bloke. That'd be it, game over, I'm one of these people that don't need to be in a relationship, so I'd happily be single.

A few years back, I looked at my ex's phone (don't even know why) and there were some texts on there from some lad 'I really wanted to go back with you on saturday night, it would've been amazing etc etc' so I know she was probably snogging some lad whilst out on the p1ss, I confronted her about it, she said it was a mate's bf, and tried to keep lying to me. This was after I'd treated her like a princess, bent over backwards for her, done all sorts for her, yet she still chose to mess around, fcuk that, better off on my own, so I binned her.

No point wasting your time and putting yourself through the trauma, plenty more women out there.


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Gary29:3392779 said:


> It's black and white for me when it comes to this kind of thing mate. I couldn't be intimate with her again if I knew she'd lied to me or been fcuking around with some other bloke. That'd be it, game over, I'm one of these people that don't need to be in a relationship, so I'd happily be single.
> 
> A few years back, I looked at my ex's phone (don't even know why) and there were some texts on there from some lad 'I really wanted to go back with you on saturday night, it would've been amazing etc etc' so I know she was probably snogging some lad whilst out on the p1ss, I confronted her about it, she said it was a mate's bf, and tried to keep lying to me. This was after I'd treated her like a princess, bent over backwards for her, done all sorts for her, yet she still chose to mess around, fcuk that, better off on my own, so I binned her.
> 
> No point wasting your time and putting yourself through the trauma, plenty more women out there.


My wife forgave me, does that make her weak or less off a person ?

l'll never ever hurt her again, she didnt deserve it.

Were all different tho, some see forgiveness as weakness.

Let he without sin cast the first stone.


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## jay101 (Aug 9, 2011)

Nah , wouldn't bother as it would just play on my mind and come up in every argument .

If the person is to cheat then their obviously not happy with what they have so let them get on with life rather than trying to fix it !


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## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

i tried to.

i forgave her but she never forgave herself

it didnt work out tho,

everytime she went out without me i got thinking.... what if, and it got her thinking she had to prove she was just out with the girls.

that was no way for us to live.

still friends, still love each, but we can never be what we were.


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## Bashy (Jun 16, 2010)

Depends on the person I suppose, I cheated when I was alot younger and seeing how upset my other half was really hard and now I could never do it again and we've been together 5 years and couldnt be happier.

I think some people who cheat and get caught arent sorry about the damage they cause just sorry that they got found out. Taking someone like that back is obviously going to lead to tears again


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## Raeno (May 3, 2012)

My head would say no, but I think my heart would say yes. Doubt it would work out tho but Id be willing to give it a shot. Nothing to loose at that point


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## A-BOMB (May 4, 2012)

i have in the past and it was a big mistake!


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## hotchy (Aug 20, 2009)

Nah I'd chuck her right out the door. Goodbye, goodnight am off out with the boys, get it up ye ya we tramp.


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

Milky said:


> My wife forgave me, does that make her weak or less off a person ?
> 
> l'll never ever hurt her again, she didnt deserve it.
> 
> ...


Fair enough if it works for you both mate, best of luck to you.

We are all different, I just couldn't accept it myself and would get too hung up on it for me to forget it, and it'd eat away at me, maybe that makes me less of a person, who knows.

I've never cheated on anyone and I've been in some situations where I easily could have and got away with it (VERY tempted though!), but it's just not in my nature and the guilt would ruin me, so I'd expect the same of my partner.


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## danimal (Aug 14, 2012)

****in hell mate have some respect for yourself! if shes cheated get her to get all her stuff and move on! and act like you dont give a care too!


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## BigTrev (Mar 16, 2008)

Raptor said:


> The reason all my gf's have been bisexual :thumb:
> 
> (only allowed if i am there tho)


Haha,,its a distant dream for me just,,,lol,,kidding


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## Matt*2010 (Nov 5, 2011)

Mines cheated on me while I was at work Friday morning. Says it was a massive mistake but she traveled there in the morning just after I left for work and done the deed! How the fcuk is that a mistake? :lol:

No way would I take her back, I am far better off without someone like that.

Only thing that irritates me is the loss of time while I could have been doing better things. She is a bucket fanny tramp!!


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## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

Done it in the past, and I've been taken back for cheating too. Sh1t happens


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## retro-mental (Dec 2, 2010)

Dont think i could ever answer unless i was in the situation. Too many variables. One thing i do know is that is if was stupid enough to cheat i would hope that my girlfriend of nearly 7 years didnt just throw it all away for something that could be just a stupid mistake.

the situation matters i think


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## Matt*2010 (Nov 5, 2011)

This was our second time round. I left her first time which I guess came as a massive shock as it was a bit out of the blue and she never really recovered. Started self harming, visiting counseling etc but then we decided to try again, all seemed well until I mistakenly see messages from her ex who she met up with and [email protected] on Friday. Now I'm going through all the nonsense from her again, I'm the love of her life, best friend who she couldn't stand to be without. Total shyte tbh, just have the usual problem of trying to get back all of my belongings!


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## Lou Lou (Aug 27, 2012)

Matt*2010 said:


> This was our second time round. I left her first time which I guess came as a massive shock as it was a bit out of the blue and she never really recovered. Started self harming, visiting counseling etc but then we decided to try again, all seemed well until I mistakenly see messages from her ex who she met up with and [email protected] on Friday. Now I'm going through all the nonsense from her again, I'm the love of her life, best friend who she couldn't stand to be without. Total shyte tbh, just have the usual problem of trying to get back all of my belongings!


You are definatly better off without this I recon!! Stay strong and don't take her back this time...her cheating was calculated!! She got caught out but would she still be doing it if you hadn't caught her. You deserve better


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## Matt*2010 (Nov 5, 2011)

Cheers Lou 

We all make mistakes and mine was her, glad I found out as soon as it happened and not 6 months down the line!

Would never have thought she would have done me over like this more so because I'm out of her league :lol:


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## FreshPrince88 (Apr 2, 2012)

Each to their own I suppose, But No I would not forgive, I am always of the opinion that if my girl done that once and got away with it then she would do it again, Also you have to ask yourself that there must be something wrong in the first place if she has it in her head to do that


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## cudsyaj (Jul 5, 2011)

been cheated on and also been the cheater... sh!t both sides


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## Chelsea (Sep 19, 2009)

Lou Lou said:


> You are definatly better off without this I recon!! Stay strong and don't take her back this time...her cheating was calculated!! *She got caught out but would she still be doing it if you hadn't caught her*. You deserve better


Exactly! Its not like it was a random, it was premeditated.

Defo better off without her.


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## Paul R (Oct 1, 2012)

Old thread. Just caught my wife out. She snagged some bloke on Thursday. She admitted it today. Don't know what I'm going to do. We have 3 kids too.

Feel so ill, disapoonted, sickenned and shocked that she could do this.


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## dbaird (Sep 2, 2012)

snogged? forget about it! if she disappeared for the night and came home with no knickers then make an issue.

I am very liberal though... My values may not meet yours


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## Paul R (Oct 1, 2012)

dbaird said:


> snogged? forget about it! if she disappeared for the night and came home with no knickers then make an issue.
> 
> I am very liberal though... My values may not meet yours


Shagged - auto correct fail.


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## dbaird (Sep 2, 2012)

I was going to like the auto correct part but... **** dude..

Me and my partner have a semi open thing going on but it still hurts to know there is something going on behind my back. Its happened too. We just messed and flitted in clubs and then I came home to something sat in my kitchen when i came home from work early... was not good. Forgiven and rules laid out. Maybe we had crossed wires, so we chatted and I forgave.

What are your thoughts?


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## kingdale (Nov 2, 2010)

Paul R said:


> Old thread. Just caught my wife out. She snagged some bloke on Thursday. She admitted it today. Don't know what I'm going to do. We have 3 kids too.
> 
> Feel so ill, disapoonted, sickenned and shocked that she could do this.


that sucks mate, i wouldnt bother with her ever again. But easy for me to say as im not married and have no kids. Hope all turns out well.


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## Blakard (Dec 13, 2012)

I've never really been cheated on apart from my first girlfriend, I am pretty damn sure that she did, she was certainly a bad girlfriend and promiscuous online and had a track record.

Its impossible to say though, so many variables and ifs and levels of affection you cant predict.

at least 95% of the time I wouldn't but I'm sure if the circumstances were right, I would.


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## Paul R (Oct 1, 2012)

I'm still awake....just cat believe its true. Wtf is this going to do to our kids if we split?? My kids are mylife at the moment.


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## Ser (Aug 10, 2008)

Hey, i'm still awake(not for long though lol)

Just take a bit of time to think, right now its still so fresh, don't do or say anything that YOU can't take back. You may not have control over the situ or the other persons responses, but you DO have control over yourself...once a word is spoken, it can't be taken back. Once the initial dust has settled, you don't know how you will feel Hope it all works out


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## Fieryfilly (Nov 12, 2012)

never again,

I forgave someone a few years ago for cheating, (turns out I found out afterwards he was always at it, with lots of women) anyway.. like I said, I forgave him, then 6 months later I found out he was still seeing her, he was quite good at covering his tracks and had some mates that would lie for him. When I confronted him again he got violent, I ended up with a broken cheek bone, broken nose and 3 broken ribs, and ended up back at my Mum and Dads at 2am in the morning. So lesson learnt, If I'd dumped him the first time, I wouldn't have had any broken bones.

Once a cheater, always a cheater in my mind. Some people just can't help themselves, and will never change.

If my o/h cheated on me then he's be out the door pronto, no second thoughts this time.


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## lumpo (Aug 8, 2012)

Fieryfilly said:


> never again,
> 
> I forgave someone a few years ago for cheating, (turns out I found out afterwards he was always at it, with lots of women) anyway.. like I said, I forgave him, then 6 months later I found out he was still seeing her, he was quite good at covering his tracks and had some mates that would lie for him. When I confronted him again he got violent, I ended up with a broken cheek bone, broken nose and 3 broken ribs, and ended up back at my Mum and Dads at 2am in the morning. So lesson learnt, If I'd dumped him the first time, I wouldn't have had any broken bones.
> 
> ...


:no: this makes me really sad and angry :cursing: giving you a big fat tattooed hug right now


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## lumpo (Aug 8, 2012)

Paul R said:


> I'm still awake....just cat believe its true. Wtf is this going to do to our kids if we split?? My kids are mylife at the moment.


fook :cursing: I can't offer much advice, just keep your shizz together and don't lose your temper.


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## Papa Lazarou (Jul 4, 2007)

Depends on the situation entirely.


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## Countryboy (May 26, 2012)

I did, The girl I was going to propose to, surprisely less than a month later she dumped me and was pregnant with her bosses baby.

Way to **** a guys head.


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## murphy2010 (Dec 17, 2010)

Paul R said:


> Old thread. Just caught my wife out. She snagged some bloke on Thursday. She admitted it today. Don't know what I'm going to do. We have 3 kids too.
> 
> Feel so ill, disapoonted, sickenned and shocked that she could do this.


kids or no kids i would kick her out, just because you have kids doesnt mean you have to get treat like that. Or forgive her and get revenge by shagging her sister/mum/best friend?


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## Deluxe Nutrition (Nov 19, 2012)

Sorry but once a cheat always a cheat!!!


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## Jaff0 (Oct 3, 2008)

murphy2010 said:


> kids or no kids i would kick her out, just because you have kids doesnt mean you have to get treat like that. Or forgive her and get revenge by shagging her sister/mum/best friend?


Kids change things.

I've always personally believed that divorce / separation is a big cause of problems with kids and families - and yes, I get the natural counter, that having two parents together who really don't want to be, can be as damaging, or maybe more so - but I think in these scenarios you have to put the kids first, they didn't choose any of this.

In my family, my kids (young, that they are) idolise their mum. Regardless of what else is going on, I'm not about to ruin or spoil that for them - if I did, it wouldn't be for their benefit. That doesn't mean I'd be a willing doormat - just that I have to recognise that being their dad, means putting them and their well-being and happiness first.


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## Paul R (Oct 1, 2012)

murphy2010 said:


> kids or no kids i would kick her out, just because you have kids doesnt mean you have to get treat like that. Or forgive her and get revenge by shagging her sister/mum/best friend?


Not that easy....how do I sort the kids for school and goto work at the same time?


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## Paul R (Oct 1, 2012)

They are 3.4 and 9.


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## RascaL18 (Nov 13, 2008)

Paul R said:


> Old thread. Just caught my wife out. She snagged some bloke on Thursday. She admitted it today. Don't know what I'm going to do. We have 3 kids too.
> 
> Feel so ill, disapoonted, sickenned and shocked that she could do this.


Pick up your things and walk away. You've got kids together, this doesn't mean you can't still be their dad. Their mum did wrong not you, so why should you suffer by trying to be all happy and nothings happened whilst inside it feels like you've just been stabbed in the heart. **** that ****. On a body building forum and you've got a picture of you and her like your pride and joy and she pulls them tricks? Nah, walk away, don't cut contact with the kids. Keep a mutual ground for the kids sake. You'll soon see she will need you more then you need her.

I find most people who cheat take their relationship for granted, then when it's gone is only when they realise how much it ment.


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## RascaL18 (Nov 13, 2008)

Paul R said:


> Not that easy....how do I sort the kids for school and goto work at the same time?


She will have to move out back to her mums, why should you lose your home and kids for your wife's knicker malfunction? Women rule the roost when they cheat, get her out instead.


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## Jaff0 (Oct 3, 2008)

RascaL18 said:


> She will have to move out back to her mums, why should you lose your home and kids for your wife's knicker malfunction? Women rule the roost when they cheat, get her out instead.


It doesn't work that way.

In terms of who gets custody and provision for living with them, and somewhere to live - blaim for the relationship breakdown / failure, is pretty much irrelevant - so long as whatever it is, doesn't appear to have any bearing on, or indicate risk to parenting the children.


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## RascaL18 (Nov 13, 2008)

Paul R said:


> Not that easy....how do I sort the kids for school and goto work at the same time?


I bet the worst thing about it is the person you want so bad to talk to and make things better is the woman who's done this to you. You seem like a decent family guy, obviously too nice of a bloke for her to think she can take the ****, family's every day split but life still goes on. Don't suffer for any ones sake.


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## RascaL18 (Nov 13, 2008)

Jaff0 said:


> It doesn't work that way.
> 
> In terms of who gets custody and provision for living with them, and somewhere to live - blaim for the relationship breakdown / failure, is pretty much irrelevant - so long as whatever it is, doesn't appear to have any bearing on, or indicate risk to parenting the children.


We aren't talking of custody of the child, it's until things are sorted out, why should this poor guy have to go homeless and with no family before Christmas for what his wife's done? School holidays will be here by now for kids surely? So he has a few weeks to sort things out


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

Paul R said:


> Old thread. Just caught my wife out. She snagged some bloke on Thursday. She admitted it today. Don't know what I'm going to do. We have 3 kids too.
> 
> Feel so ill, disapoonted, sickenned and shocked that she could do this.


See a solicitor, withdraw your money & put in a new account. Get Christmas over with, then leave her.

Plan everything, don't get mad or shout at her, let her know how much she has ruined everything.

Have a new life. Sounds easy..no it's not, but this is the course of action you really should take.

Edit: Did she have sex or snog..bit unsure here?


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## lumpo (Aug 8, 2012)

@Paul R don't you fookin dare be a doormat mate! she fooked up, not you

Kids are resilient. I seperated from my daughers mum 6 years ago. My girl is 8 now and is just doing awesome with school, friends and general growing up. My daughter lives 60miles away from me and we are still super close and love each other loads

*you and your kids will be fine *


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## RascaL18 (Nov 13, 2008)

latblaster said:


> See a solicitor, withdraw your money & put in a new account. Get Christmas over with, then leave her.
> 
> Plan everything, don't get mad or shout at her, let her know how much she has ruined everything.
> 
> ...





Paul R said:


> Shagged - auto correct fail.


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## Jaff0 (Oct 3, 2008)

RascaL18 said:


> We aren't talking of custody of the child, it's until things are sorted out, why should this poor guy have to go homeless and with no family before Christmas for what his wife's done? School holidays will be here by now for kids surely? So he has a few weeks to sort things out


Who's saying he has to go homeless?

I'm just saying you're on a sticky wicket expecting to be able to evict a wife and mother from the family home, merely because she committed adultery. If she has even the slightest bit of nous on that score, she'll realise that.


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## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

I have no idea what that situation would be like, but I think I'd wait until the new year, so the kids can have a good Christmas etc. Then she would be gone, just for the reason that I'd never be able to trust her and would be suspicious all all the time.


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## RascaL18 (Nov 13, 2008)

Jaff0 said:


> Who's saying he has to go homeless?
> 
> I'm just saying you're on a sticky wicket expecting to be able to evict a wife and mother from the family home, merely because she committed adultery. If she has even the slightest bit of nous on that score, she'll realise that.


How can a subject like this turn to a slagging match? Give him some hope for **** sakes.

I bet you £1million that the last thing going through his mind right now is his legal stance and for the same matter his wife won't even be thinking about it. She's don't the wrong, she needs to know.


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## lumpo (Aug 8, 2012)

as already said get christmas out of the way...shizz is bad but christmas magnifies shizz a 100x!!! give the kids a good christmas.

Paul R it's gonna test your metal but dig deep pal and then sort things out in new year


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

OP Just play it all down, & say that lets forget it for now so we all have a good christmas. Pretend that's it's all fine.

Be the good guy, because if you kick off at this time, it might well be used by her Solicitor. It all gets very devious.

Then see a Solicitor don't put it off, please.


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## Pain2Gain (Feb 28, 2012)

Paul R said:


> Old thread. Just caught my wife out. She snagged some bloke on Thursday. She admitted it today. Don't know what I'm going to do. We have 3 kids too.
> 
> Feel so ill, disapoonted, sickenned and shocked that she could do this.


Wow! Mate I'm honestly gutted for u, it's the worst feeling in the world I know I've been there. Your heads going to be all over the place right now, even if u think ur ok!

The only useful advice I can summon is try your hardest not to do anything to rash right now, whilst you have that gut churning sickness going on any reaction won't come out as u intend it to.

You have to do something though just think it through carefully first, also if only for the sake of the kids Xmas try to hold it together! I'm sure you don't want them associating future Xmas with mum and dad fighting and splitting up!


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## Jaff0 (Oct 3, 2008)

RascaL18 said:


> How can a subject like this turn to a slagging match? Give him some hope for **** sakes.
> 
> I bet you £1million that the last thing going through his mind right now is his legal stance and for the same matter his wife won't even be thinking about it. She's don't the wrong, she needs to know.


Where's the slagging match?

I'm just saying it's best to keep your feet on the ground, and not live your life by enthusiastic rhetoric that some may spout in internet forums (and yes, I'm including mine in all of that).

Whether, or not, most blokes would feel aggrieved, and whether or not many would like to see her kicked-out, that's purely emotive. The law and justice system cares not one jot about her being at blame for any relationship breakdown, in terms of her being a parent and having custody (so long as the reason does not show any risk to the children, or compromise her ability to be able to care for them).

So all I'm saying is it's not in ANYBODIES interest to be reactionary over this.


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## Fieryfilly (Nov 12, 2012)

lumpo said:


> :no: this makes me really sad and angry :cursing: giving you a big fat tattooed hug right now


thanks Lumpo,

would never make the same mistake again, once bitten, and all that


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## Suprakill4 (Jul 11, 2008)

I have. do i regret it? i think so.....


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## Ash1981 (Jun 16, 2009)

Suprakill4 said:


> I have. do i regret it? i think so.....


No with your current girl surely mate


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## shane278 (Aug 25, 2008)

To answer the question.

Not a hope, I'd send her packing.


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## cypssk (Jun 29, 2008)

i just hope this never happens to me


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

is your house mortgaged ? try and be box clever here , leave it till after xmas and ask your girlfriend if she wants to move away to "getover it all" sell your house give her half and tell her to fk off


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## Jaff0 (Oct 3, 2008)

gycraig said:


> is your house mortgaged ? try and be box clever here , leave it till after xmas and ask your girlfriend if she wants to move away to "getover it all" sell your house give her half and tell her to fk off


Not convinced of the boxing clever, there.

The housing market is pretty depressed, and it's not the best time of year to sell anyways.

Things always seem absolute when you can look from a distance. But when there's kids involved, it's different. There's no sense pulling strokes, it will nearly always come back on you anyways.


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## Rottee (Jun 11, 2009)

Id been with a bird 2 years and got sent away for 4 mths I was in the forces and she cheated which was totally out of character and I took her back. It played on my mind alot and we should of got help and counselling to get over it but we didnt, over time it messed us both up we split a number of times we had been together 10 years when we finally split.

If I could of had my time again I would have taken her back but made sure we got help and counselling.

Weve been split up 3 years Ive met someone else 3 months ago and still think of my ex all the time. I even still think Id get back with her now sometimes.

So Id say if you truely love her and cant think of life without her then take her back and get help together.


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

Jaff0 said:


> Not convinced of the boxing clever, there.
> 
> The housing market is pretty depressed, and it's not the best time of year to sell anyways.
> 
> Things always seem absolute when you can look from a distance. But when there's kids involved, it's different. There's no sense pulling strokes, it will nearly always come back on you anyways.


as opposed to him moving out when they have a divorce and still having to pay his mortgage + his rent ?


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## Jaff0 (Oct 3, 2008)

gycraig said:


> as opposed to him moving out when they have a divorce and still having to pay his mortgage + his rent ?


Unless you seriously undervalue your house, it's probably not going to sell quick - especially at this time of year.

Whatever happens, it's still probably going to have to be his kids that he still has to at least contribute to their living costs. So what makes more sense - and I don't just mean financial - lose a sh1tload of money, one way or another, or perhaps consider whether things can be saved.

Nobody ('cept perhaps ego) wins if it all goes to sh1t.


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## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

Drunken kiss yes

Anything worse no


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## Jay Walker (Jun 24, 2003)

My mate did this, now she owns him. Sad how its turned out, man filleted and spine removed.


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## VeNuM (Aug 14, 2011)

NEVER.


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## Ash1981 (Jun 16, 2009)

How about this one...

If you were seeing some girl for about 8 weeks and on that time you probably saw each other 10 times

Some other geezer tapped her up on Facebook, she fuked off with him for 8 months then when things didn't work out she asked you back out????


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

Jaff0 said:


> Unless you seriously undervalue your house, it's probably not going to sell quick - especially at this time of year.
> 
> Whatever happens, it's still probably going to have to be his kids that he still has to at least contribute to their living costs. So what makes more sense - and I don't just mean financial - lose a sh1tload of money, one way or another, or perhaps consider whether things can be saved.
> 
> Nobody ('cept perhaps ego) wins if it all goes to sh1t.


My uncle did it to his wife my dad advised it at the time lol. He had a little equity tho so dunno bout the situation with this guy.

Reading some pretty scary stories in bankruptcy thread also makes me think yes the kids Are important. But you have to consider your future as well.

The mortgage isn't considered in CSa ? As its a shared debt ?(un sure of this)So he will have to pay half HIS mortgage. His own rent and CSa as well

Personally she doesn't think it's worth saving or she would of kept it in her pants


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## Jaff0 (Oct 3, 2008)

gycraig said:


> My uncle did it to his wife my dad advised it at the time lol. He had a little equity tho so dunno bout the situation with this guy.
> 
> Reading some pretty scary stories in bankruptcy thread also makes me think yes the kids Are important. But you have to consider your future as well.
> 
> ...


Well I can't comment on the CSA thing because I know feck all about it.

Thing is, selling a house ain't a trivial deal. It's most likely in both names, and probably the mortgage - so one person can't easily force a sale anyway - but regardless - the house market is on it's ar5e at the moment, houses don't sell quickly anyways, specially not in the middle of winter.

I get that some people feel a sort of empathatic nose-out-of-joint thing, but you have to forget about that, and pulling strokes. I'm not saying you have to forget about looking after yourself, but it's not necessarily war.

Worse case scenario - not that many of you will buy it, but it is all the same - everything goes to sh1t and everybody loses out - money, relationship, and family - now that may not be the ruination of the kids life, but certainly will be a big event in their lives. Only the guy posting what's happened and his wife / partner will truly know if there's anything worth saving, and whether they can bridge that gap - but it's at least worth consideration for the sake of putting one's ego aside.

And here's the thing - despite what everybody wants to be judgemental about, in terms of people cheating in relationships - and I'm not trivialising that, it is a big evil - but all the same, family law and the justice system care not one jot about who's at fault in a relationship breakdown, so long as it doesn't compromise their ability to care for children, and - whether it's fair or not - naturally favour a mother as being the person most likely to get custody of kids - pointing out her infidelity will have no bearing on that.


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## 36-26 (Jun 30, 2009)

Irish Beast said:


> Mate no way could you take anyone back after that, I'd take her fcukin head off for that.


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## goodison1972 (Mar 18, 2012)

everyone deserves a second chance...


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## C.Hill (Nov 21, 2010)

goodison1972 said:


> everyone deserves a second chance...


You must be a guilty party lol


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## goodison1972 (Mar 18, 2012)

:whistling:


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