# being over protective as a parent and realising your baby is growing up...



## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Bit of a strange one this... My 13 year old girl has been a bit up and down after being on Facebook lately, so much so my wife was concerned enough to investigate. Turns out a lad she's fancied for a few years has been getting her to send pics of herself in her skimpies (not that skimpy) to him and suggesting all sorts of sexual shenanigans... On top of that he's been saying he likes the anorexic look and that may be why she's been off her food, he's her age and I know that its all natural and all that **** but she's my little girl and to be honest right now id really quite like to **** the dirty little **** up big time! How the hell am I supposed to get my head round this? Would it be acceptable to get all hostel on him?

This really is bothering me a lot...

Any thoughts appreciated


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Damn that's fvcked up. It's difficult because if you confront the boy your daughter will get mad at you and not understand. I wouldn't leave it though!

Hope you sort it mate. Kid sounds like a tw4t!


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

He's violating your princess mate

Kill him!


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

I think you are well within your rights to be hostile! I'd be furious if a boy was getting my 13 year daughter to stop eating and sending semi naked pics. She's 13! Considering how guys share pictures, who knows where they could end up. At least they're not naked pictures.

Maybe talk to her and make her aware of the possible consequences of sending pictures....they could end up on the internet, be shared round school.

Whatever you do, GOOD LUCK!


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Difficult one mate, but sending pics at 13yo isn't on. Also the anorexia thing is worrying too.

I would talk to my girl and try to straighten her out. Also I would talk to the lad's Mum and Dad too.


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## Paz1982 (Dec 16, 2012)

if I had a daughter i'd be the same, i'd be way over protective but I suppose they have to grow up. that being said 13 is still too young for all that so i'd be putting a stop to it


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## Paz1982 (Dec 16, 2012)

Breda said:


> He's violating your princess mate
> 
> Kill him!


 :lol: always the diplomat breda


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## man_dem03 (Oct 1, 2008)

talk to your daughter

invite the parents round of the kid with him as well and explain what he's done, with the proof

ban her from social medial - she'll hate you now but will understand in the long run

pay a 13 year old to smack him as well


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## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

This kid reminds me of me when I was 13

The only advice I can give you if he is anything like I was at 13 is keep her the fu*c*k away from him!


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## BritishAssassin (Nov 26, 2007)

I'd pay him and his family a visit, but talk to them calmly.

I find the "calm" approach can be the most intimidating.


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## -LH- (Jan 29, 2013)

I should imagine he is doing this to more than one girl...get his number off Facebook or your daughter and give him an anonymous phone call about the situation ending with "I will find you and I will kill you" that should put a stop to it.

Failing that I'd go to the school and to his parents...


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

Huntingground said:


> Difficult one mate, but sending pics at 13yo isn't on. Also the anorexia thing is worrying too.
> 
> I would talk to my girl and try to straighten her out. *Also I would talk to the lad's Mum and Dad too*.


Probably a good call. The one person in the world I was (and probably still am lol) scared of is my Dad, and would avoid at all costs and trouble getting back to him. If something like this got back to him I'd have considered running away rather than facing him :lol:

It also removes you from the equation in p1ssing your daughter off too much.

Of course this all depends on what sort of parents he's got, but it has to be the first port of call. Shortly followed by talking to your daughter and trying to make her see she doesn't need to do stuff like that.


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## Mish (May 1, 2011)

bigbob33 said:


> Bit of a strange one this... My 13 year old girl has been a bit up and down after being on Facebook lately, so much so my wife was concerned enough to investigate. Turns out a lad she's fancied for a few years has been getting her to send pics of herself in her skimpies (not that skimpy) to him and suggesting all sorts of sexual shenanigans... On top of that he's been saying he likes the anorexic look and that may be why she's been off her food, he's her age and I know that its all natural and all that **** but she's my little girl and to be honest right now id really quite like to **** the dirty little **** up big time! How the hell am I supposed to get my head round this? *Would it be acceptable to get all hostel on him*?
> 
> This really is bothering me a lot...
> 
> Any thoughts appreciated


Errrr no! Has anyone seen that film. I sure as hell don't want to be that wee boy.


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## JonnyBoy81 (Jun 26, 2013)

:lol:


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## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

send him pictures of yourself in skimpy undies


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## Raw meat 1984 (Sep 17, 2008)

bro, that is real hard going. I am NOT looking forward to this time when my daughter grows up.

if it was me, I would have a word with your daughter trying to be calm and appreciate her privacy etc so she dont just clam up and go all negative towards you, but shes still way too young for this.

or...... tell your daughter to invite him round, all friendly etc so she can see that you are being a good dad to her, once he's round and you get him to yourself for 5 mins just have a very calm 'chat' with him, tell him you were a lad once and you know what lads are like at that age but this is my daughter we are talking about, tell him youve seen the mesages and the pics and it wont be happening anymore if he wants to continue to either get along with you or continue to see your daughter.

this happened to me with a very big scary man and his 15 year old daughter when i was that age - believe me i toned it down after he calmly spoke to me and bought me down a peg or 5!

the very last thing you should do it blow ya top and possibly turn your daughters trust into hate because you embarrassed her.

thats my thoughts mate but being a Dad is about protecting your children at all costs in my eyes.


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## bigchickenlover (Jul 16, 2013)

BritishAssassin said:


> I'd pay him and his family a visit, but talk to them calmly.
> 
> I find the "calm" approach can be the most intimidating.


Exactly that do not loose your cool or you will just look like a crazy person beating on an infant. Resolve this with a meeting with all concernd talk it over with daughter and make her realise this isnt what happens in a relationship.

Good luck


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## MrM (Feb 6, 2012)

The simple solution - but hard to implement - is to say no social media untill 16yrs old.

I'd take the kids details and report to Facebook and the " think you know" website. Then pass to the police. It sounds harsh but serious problems always start off seeming ok ...... at the end of the day this kid has sought out inappropriate contact with a minor and needs referred to a counsellor.


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Apparently he's in a relationship with another girl but my daughter is massively in love with him... ****


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

bigbob33 said:


> Apparently he's in a relationship with another girl but my daughter is massively in love with him... ****


Well that complicates things. I'll bet she's been sending the pictures in the hope it will make him like her more. Worst possible reason to do so, but when you're a teenage girl anything for the one you love.

If she is in love with him the most important thing you can do is NOT to lose your temper with her over this. If you do, she'll do worse to spite you. Because if you shout then he becomes the forbidden and dangerous and so she'll want him more.

Worst case scenario. If talking to him and his parents doesn't work. Report to police. Distribution of underage pics is illegal. 13 is definitely underage.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

this is a hard one. im male and have done dirty web chat to girls i ended up dating (so they all been leagal) and then its a harmless bit of fun. if she was in her late teens i guess the reply would be easy and she is just turning into a sexualy active adult and all that.

what we have here tho is something different. 1 she is 13 and it dont matter what age they are its still classed as child porn by the law, so you can go down that route with the police. that could cause your daughter more problems tho. the best thing is to sit with her and explain what she is doing, why she doing it cuz she may not fully understand. then talk about how she feels about her body and her self esteem. she is changing from a little girl into a woman now so theres things she may not understand and need to talk about.

the lad you cant do much about without hurting your daughter mate. you could try talking to his parents then u all have a word with them. thats how to solve the camera problem. dont go mental at her and stop her using the internet etc cuz she may not understand why she done wrong.

as for the body issues, i dont think many of us know how to deal with it. everyone on this forum is here cuz we have body issues. some r skinny and want to b big some are fat and want to b thin etc. aslong as she is not medicaly anorexic then the problems ok and you will just get the fad diets and that teens go through.

hope nothing i have wrote causes offence im just giving my opinion  .


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## Raw meat 1984 (Sep 17, 2008)

bigbob33 said:


> Apparently he's in a relationship with another girl but my daughter is massively in love with him... ****


BINGO! the lad is a little perv. this will not end well for your daughter mate. Imagine if he shows or sends his mates the pictures and before long they are all around school, this lads Girlfriend is not going to be happy with him or her. this is potentially how bullying starts and teenagers are very vulnerable and easily influenced.

what sort of relationship do you have with your daughter? would she understand if you sat her down and had a chat with her?

Im genuinely concerned for you mate - this lad needs to be warned. I would go straight to the police asap no messing, zero tolerance, put this to bed!


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

What would the Godfather do?


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## BodyBuilding101 (Mar 8, 2006)

Axe ----> head = jobs a goodun :thumbup1:


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## dannw (Apr 7, 2010)

Gym Bunny said:


> Well that complicates things. I'll bet she's been sending the pictures in the hope it will make him like her more. Worst possible reason to do so, but when you're a teenage girl anything for the one you love.
> 
> If she is in love with him the most important thing you can do is NOT to lose your temper with her over this. If you do, she'll do worse to spite you. Because if you shout then he becomes the forbidden and dangerous and so she'll want him more.
> 
> Worst case scenario. If talking to him and his parents doesn't work. Report to police. Distribution of underage pics is illegal. 13 is definitely underage.


but there both 13... does he send her pictures? I think this is a very common thing at the moment. If it was me I would just keep and eye on her and offer a shoulder to cry on if you go in with your size 10 she will never tell you anything in the future..


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## resten (Apr 4, 2012)

WilsonR6 said:


> This kid reminds me of me when I was 13
> 
> The only advice I can give you if he is anything like I was at 13 is keep her the fu*c*k away from him!


Oh hello you sexy beast 

p.s. I had been a sexual hooligan for a long time by the time I was 13


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## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

to be fair on the lad, if 99% of the guys on this forum had the techonology at 13 that kids do nowadays, they would be doing exactly the same thing.

hunt him down anyway!


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## ellisrimmer (Sep 9, 2012)

It's the anorexia thing which is most worrying. I've never heard of anyone saying they like that look before.


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## MiXiN (Mar 25, 2013)

Sorry to hear this OP.

Being a Father of 3 Girls I feel your pain.

My initial approach would be to approach the Lads parents with a printout of the evidence if some is available.

None of this has been a problem for me to date, but I have regular chats with my Fiancee and ex's who I have my other Daughters with explaining that I'm convinced that I'll be serving a 3rd jail sentence one of these days, and not petit 3 Month ones like I have previously.

It's a jungle out there, and this lad needs adequate warning before things get out of hand.

There are many good suggestions in this thread.

All the best.


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## sy76uk (Aug 8, 2013)

I wouldn't go as far as hitting the lad but I would go round there and read the whole family the riot act and probably have the boys dad up against the wall by the scruff of his neck. Is that the sensible thing to do? No. Your daughter is a minor sp getting the police involved would bethe best thing to do. I say this as a parent to a 16 year old girl. If i were in your shoes I'd be in a cell by now.


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## benno_2010 (Oct 8, 2010)

whatever you decide to do do it in a calm manner - kicking the sh!t out of a 13 yr old wont go down well in the eyes of the law no matter what hes done.

talk to your daughter and (as has been said) calmly approach his family and speak to them


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## Raw meat 1984 (Sep 17, 2008)

dannw said:


> but there both 13... does he send her pictures? I think this is a very common thing at the moment. If it was me I would just keep and eye on her and offer a shoulder to cry on if you go in with your size 10 she will never tell you anything in the future..


na man, ill be the first to say that this needs to be stopped right away. i presume you dont have children mate? this has a whole world of potential complications for the OP's daughter here.


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Actually I'm with @Breda ... bust him up! (semi srs)


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

dannw said:


> but there both 13... does he send her pictures? I think this is a very common thing at the moment. If it was me I would just keep and eye on her and offer a shoulder to cry on if you go in with your size 10 she will never tell you anything in the future..


It is a very common thing, but it's still illegal, and notice, I did say worst case scenario after other options. Plus the way guys share pics you don't want that ending up on the internet.

In America both can be prosecuted for distribution of underage images and be placed on the sex offenders register. Not sure if that applies in the UK.


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

if you smash him up you will go on same register as the nonces.

Any local thugs around his age that would do it for a pack of special brew?


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

@bigbob33, the NSPCC has an article with advice for parents whose kids have been affected by this:

http://www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/for-parents/talking-about-sex/sexting/sexting_wda96795.html


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## Beklet (May 13, 2005)

Wow, I remember boys like that when I was at school - glad there was no internet!

He definitely needs a warning. I'm withthe others, go see the parents, with evidence. If they are cretins, go to the police.

Hopefully, when you go to see the parents, his girlfriend will be there, and she will see what an utter sleazebag he is


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

Other option is to scare the sh!t out of his dad and let him deal with slime ball..


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## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

Just make sure it doesn't escalate any further. We've all read horror stories online of cyber bullying. It starts off with innocent pics but he could be the manipulative type...especially if she likes him. At that age a parents words will mean nothing if you have a huge crush on someone, so take action wisely!


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## tamara (Sep 23, 2012)

Aww nooo, I've got all this business to come!

I wouldn't confront your daughter as she will be embarrassed as hell and will probably step up the security on her computer, you wanna keep it the way it is just incase you ever need to access it. Even talking to the lad will get back to your daughter, sometimes its a case of what you don't know won't hurt you. With regards to the anorexia comments just talk to your partner when your daughter is in earshot and say something like "oh another kid is dead from being anorexic" say really shocking things about it so hopefully she has the intelligence to know that not eating isn't the right thing to do.

I'm dreading all this sort of stuff but I'm just gonna use shock and awe with my daughter, I'm gonna give her information overload and hope that stuff sticks. I'll tell her fabricated stories about girls that have sent pictures to boys and they've been passed all round the school I'll tell her all about boys and the way their mindset works.

Right now my daughter doesn't like people wearing white jackets cos of this dude. Whenever we see someone wearing white she asks me to punch them in the face


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## haza1234 (Jan 8, 2012)

F*ck he's Mom


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

tamara said:


> Aww nooo, I've got all this business to come!
> 
> I wouldn't confront your daughter as she will be embarrassed as hell and will probably step up the security on her computer, you wanna keep it the way it is just incase you ever need to access it.


The computer would already be smashed to pieces.


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## ellisrimmer (Sep 9, 2012)

sy76uk said:


> I wouldn't go as far as hitting the lad but I would go round there and read the whole family the riot act and probably have the boys dad up against the wall by the scruff of his neck. Is that the sensible thing to do? No. Your daughter is a minor sp getting the police involved would bethe best thing to do. I say this as a parent to a 16 year old girl. If i were in your shoes I'd be in a cell by now.


You would attack the lad's father? That would be poor form.

Easiest way to deal with this is to ring the kid, have a serious chat with him, nothing stupid like threatening him, the conversation with you will be probably scare him enough. If it carries on, go round the house and have a word with the parents who will be horrified by their child's actions. At the end of the day he is a young lad and he probably doesn't realise that anorexia is a severe mental illness.

As for him having a girlfriend-none issue-he is 13!


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## Bashy (Jun 16, 2010)

Tough call that mate, if his parents are OK then it should be sorted pretty quickly.

Be prepared for some backlash from your daughter though whatever route you take, the boy needs to be told and when that happens he will more than likely tell your daughter.


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

haza1234 said:


> F*ck he's Mom


Not a bad plan... then you can send him pics of his mum and see how he likes it :lol:


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

haza1234 said:


> F*ck he's Mom


Really? How childish. Guy posted a topic because he's worried and that is your response.


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## Raw meat 1984 (Sep 17, 2008)

haza1234 said:


> F*ck he's Mom


thats clever


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

would you prefer he fvcked his dad? :whistling:


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## JANIKvonD (Jul 7, 2011)

i've 2 daughters (6&5) :mellow: fuk this


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## JonnyBoy81 (Jun 26, 2013)

this is what i am gonna hate when i become a daddy. and i would like a girl  but think a boy maybe easier! hmmmf


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## Raw meat 1984 (Sep 17, 2008)

tamara said:


> Aww nooo, I've got all this business to come!
> 
> I wouldn't confront your daughter as she will be embarrassed as hell and will probably step up the security on her computer, you wanna keep it the way it is just incase you ever need to access it. Even talking to the lad will get back to your daughter, sometimes its a case of what you don't know won't hurt you. With regards to the anorexia comments just talk to your partner when your daughter is in earshot and say something like "oh another kid is dead from being anorexic" say really shocking things about it so hopefully she has the intelligence to know that not eating isn't the right thing to do.
> 
> ...


but thats just lying to your daughter - i can however see the logic in it tho. Dont people just talk to their family anymore and over come issues and guide loved ones on the correct path instead of guessing games and scare tactics etc.

when my daughter is 13 I would like to think I have a good enough relationship with her that I can talk to her and she would understand me and my points and actions as to protecting her.


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

JonnyBoy81 said:


> this is what i am gonna hate when i become a daddy. and i would like a girl  * but think a boy maybe easier*! hmmmf


You wont be thinking that when you get BigBob turning up on your doorstep :lol:


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## ellisrimmer (Sep 9, 2012)

JANIKvonD said:


> i've 2 daughters (6&5) :mellow: fuk this


All you roidheads can easily stop this, you can let your daughters have all the social medias they want under the agreement that you need to appear in your kids pics, getting yourself on show will surely stop any kid trying to take the pi$$! Imagine yourself thinking twice that age saying something to a girl with Stone Cole in in her pictures..you wouldn't do it


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## sy76uk (Aug 8, 2013)

ellisrimmer said:


> You would attack the lad's father? That would be poor form.
> 
> Easiest way to deal with this is to ring the kid, have a serious chat with him, nothing stupid like threatening him, the conversation with you will be probably scare him enough. If it carries on, go round the house and have a word with the parents who will be horrified by their child's actions. At the end of the day he is a young lad and he probably doesn't realise that anorexia is a severe mental illness.


I did say that it wouldn't be the sensible thing to do. I agree it would be poor form-BUT we would be talking about my little girl be ask

groomed and what the dirtty little **** is doing is grooming so as much as I'd like to say I could keep my cool I doubt very much that I could. Now where I grew up if a kid did something wrong and was too young for a back hander then the dad would get it for him. I'm in no way suggesting that the OP should give the kids dad a back hander. I'm just saying that if i was in his shoes I probably wouldn't be able to stop myself.


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## Raw meat 1984 (Sep 17, 2008)

ellisrimmer said:


> All you roidheads can easily stop this, you can let your daughters have all the social medias they want under the agreement that you need to appear in your kids pics, getting yourself on show will surely stop any kid trying to take the pi$$! Imagine yourself thinking twice that age saying something to a girl with Stone Cole in in her pictures..you wouldn't do it


i had the talk from one of my girlfriends dad, he was 20+ stone, tattoos on his ears and kneck, and well........... i listened to him.


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## Bashy (Jun 16, 2010)

ellisrimmer said:


> All you roidheads can easily stop this, you can let your daughters have all the social medias they want under the agreement that you need to appear in your kids pics, getting yourself on show will surely stop any kid trying to take the pi$$! Imagine yourself thinking twice that age saying something to a girl with Stone Cole in in her pictures..you wouldn't do it


Who is Stone Cole?


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## Sambuca (Jul 25, 2012)

def get all hostel. lol


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## JANIKvonD (Jul 7, 2011)

ellisrimmer said:


> All you roidheads can easily stop this, you can let your daughters have all the social medias they want under the agreement that you need to appear in your kids pics, getting yourself on show will surely stop any kid trying to take the pi$$! Imagine yourself thinking twice that age saying something to a girl with Stone Cole in in her pictures..you wouldn't do it


i was going for the "wow you're dad's hot" kinda thing (nopeedo). ill have to think about this


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## ellisrimmer (Sep 9, 2012)

Bashy said:


> Who is Stone Cole?


Stone Cold's big brother I think


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## ellisrimmer (Sep 9, 2012)

JANIKvonD said:


> i was going for the "wow you're dad's hot" kinda thing (nopeedo). ill have to think about this


Yeh could work in more ways than one!


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## hackskii (Jul 27, 2003)

Well, my daughter is 14 and I had a talk with her about how guys are.

I would suggest that now is the time for you to talk to your daughter as a man should talk to his daughter.

Explain to her about how pictures get spread around school.

Explain to her how boys at her age are not looking for love, but sex.

Explain to your daughter that boys will say anything to get what they want, and that she is only a virgin once and that once that is gone, its gone for good.

Suggest to her to save it for the special guy in her life.

Its not really all his fault, but your daughter needs a bit of direction.

I had an opportunity to talk to my daughter just yesterday about choices, and how choices affect things down the road in life.

She was a good listener for about 2 minutes, then deaf ears, but plant the seed now, it will grow, but talk to her like she is grown, to give her the respect she deserves being a big girl.


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## TypeR (May 28, 2004)

I've got a daughter but she's still young. Can't you talk her out of Facebook? Social networks are the devils work! This is my biggest fear.

Just act calm and try to talk to her about it with out her finding out you've been looking.


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## tamara (Sep 23, 2012)

Raw meat 1984 said:


> but thats just lying to your daughter - i can however see the logic in it tho. Dont people just talk to their family anymore and over come issues and guide loved ones on the correct path instead of guessing games and scare tactics etc.
> 
> when my daughter is 13 I would like to think I have a good enough relationship with her that I can talk to her and she would understand me and my points and actions as to protecting her.


I'd like to think that my daughter and I will still have a close strong bond when she is in her teens. I'm dreading when she gets older but also a little bit thankful that the kids her age have parents that are also around my age or a little bit older or younger, either way my reputation proceeds me, someone somewhere will say isn't tamara her mother? Don't f uck about with her I don't fancy her mother knocking on our door.

I really feel for the op and I don't know what to suggest for the best. Obviously stuff like this went on in school but we didn't have the technology that we have today. The worst thing to come out of this would be for the pictures to circulate and fall into the hands of this boys gf. Girls can make girls lives hell in school. The best thing to do would be to talk and find out what is going on in the girls social life. If she mentions the dude with the gf just explain that it's not worth the hassle and that if he wanted her he wouldn't be with his girlfriend and that asking for pictures whilst he has a girlfriend shows that he isn't a nice guy. Then scare her with the consequences of what could happen if the gf found out.

I dunno what else to say, I'll come back to this after 7 when I can think in peace!


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

Thinking about it some more, while the boy is the immediate problem here and that obviously needs addressing, you have to remember there are plenty of other boys out there. Educating your daughter is the only real way to help her make the right choices in the future.


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

Sambuca said:


> def get all hostel. lol


I have a very impressive collection of power tools and a very dark sense of imagination  but in all seriousness, this has brought out so many conflicting emotions... I'm sure I'll have a suitable plan of action by close of play tonight. Thanks for the serious replies and the laughs guys and girls


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

2004mark said:


> Thinking about it some more, while the boy is the immediate problem here and that obviously needs addressing, you have to remember there are plenty of other boys out there. Educating your daughter is the only real way to help her make the right choices in the future.


Joking aside this is the best advice


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## Athenian (Sep 19, 2012)

bigbob33 said:


> Bit of a strange one this... My 13 year old girl has been a bit up and down after being on Facebook lately, so much so my wife was concerned enough to investigate. Turns out a lad she's fancied for a few years has been getting her to send pics of herself in her skimpies (not that skimpy) to him and suggesting all sorts of sexual shenanigans... On top of that he's been saying he likes the anorexic look and that may be why she's been off her food, he's her age and I know that its all natural and all that **** but she's my little girl and to be honest right now id really quite like to **** the dirty little **** up big time! How the hell am I supposed to get my head round this? Would it be acceptable to get all hostel on him?
> 
> This really is bothering me a lot...
> 
> Any thoughts appreciated


I think having a talk with the boy's parents should be the weight of your concern for the time being, after all, his behaviour isn't really something you can control, monitor or influence. Let his parents know about the pictures, if for no other reason that to at least scare them because legally, distributing suggestive pictures of a minor is a crime and even though you really shouldn't hold him accountable (he's only 13, we were all horny perverts at that age) his parents should at least have the opportunity to set him straight and exercise their own parental influence over him.

Talking with your daughter can be tricky. I'm not a parent but my father's reactions towards my two odler sisters hitting puberty was nothing short of catastrophic. My eldest sister pretty much turned into a tramp and at age 15, the legal age of consent in Greece, started screwing any 20something with a car and became the talk of the neighbourhood.... Then my other sister became the exact opposite. Introverted, shy and couldn't so much as talk to boys untill she got to university at 19. I think it's safe to say you want to avoid both these scenarios.

Personally speaking I'd lay it on all the line for her. Don't romanticise the situation and don't delude her into thinking notions like love, romance etc are really likely given how teenage boys think. We 've all been there mate, none of us were thinking about flowers, holding hands and love-making by the fireplace at 16-17.

You and her mother should explain the mechanics of sex and contracpetion and that she shouldn't feel ashamed about being curious but that she shouldn't let herself get pressured into anything in hopes that a guy will 'love her' for it. Obviously you don't want to be cynical and suggest that she'll never meet a guy who's interested in more than just sex but be honest about the fact that men have a much higher sex drive and that tends to motivate us over actual romantic feelings.

Truth be told she probably won't have one single sexual partner in her lifetime anyway, and the person she does setle down with will most likely be someone she meets in her 20s, a good few years from now, so I wouldn't build up her first experience as this mind-blowing, life-changing event that will either make or break her love-life. As far as I'm aware from my own female friends, none of them particularly enjoyed their first experience anyway, even those who were with that person for a while before and after their first time.

Either way mate, I certainly dont' envy you. It's difficult to be objective when I comes to your child so best of luck.


----------



## hackskii (Jul 27, 2003)

Well, with teenagers you don't lay down the law, that will have an affect of them withdrawing from the situation and probably remove them from the room to their bedroom.

It is hard to talk to teenagers, if you come at them too hard, they withdraw, too soft and you probably wont get their attention, the environment should be something that is easy to approach like in the car where they cant get out to not listen, especially at about 80 miles an hour:lol:

The issues are really with the pictures, and beings the guy is not the one taking them, nor uploading them, I guess you can figure out for yourself who you need to talk to.

Its just part of a parents job.

My talk with my daughter came after we were watching a movie about prostitutes, she was 12, and asked me what a prostitute was.

That opened up the bag for opportunity for me, to explain things.

After our chat, it became aware to me that she knew a hell of alot more than I thought she did, but at least if you get it from me, it wont be from other kids that may not have the right idea.


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

I remember a few years ago some 15yr old was tryin a ting on FB when she was 11 at the time

I offered him out and called him a cnut, the cheeky fuker laughed, told me to fuk off then changed his pic to himself standin there with his cock out

These youngsters are brave my man so killin really and truly is the only option


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## TryingToGetBig (May 20, 2010)

Something my mate did when he was in a similar situation to you, was forward all the messages to the lads mum and dad, with a message.. You sort him out or I will!

The messages stopped lol


----------



## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

resten said:


> Oh hello you sexy beast
> 
> p.s. I had been a sexual hooligan for a long time by the time I was 13


Yeah, unfortunately I'll never be able to forget all them non-shaven minges that came up on my MSN webcam screen :no:



tamara said:


> Aww nooo, I've got all this business to come!
> 
> I wouldn't confront your daughter as she will be embarrassed as hell and will probably step up the security on her computer, you wanna keep it the way it is just incase you ever need to access it. Even talking to the lad will get back to your daughter, sometimes its a case of what you don't know won't hurt you. With regards to the anorexia comments just talk to your partner when your daughter is in earshot and say something like "oh another kid is dead from being anorexic" say really shocking things about it so hopefully she has the intelligence to know that not eating isn't the right thing to do.
> 
> ...


Your daughter has a good judgement of character. I no longer like white jackets either


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## havering (May 14, 2013)

Are you a unit?

If the answer is yes, invite him, round or meet your daughter when he's there, shake his hand with an iron grip, he won't bother you again.

Pants will be brown, he will be scared as anything.


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## tamara (Sep 23, 2012)

WilsonR6 said:


> Yeah, unfortunately I'll never be able to forget all them non-shaven minges that came up on my MSN webcam screen :no:
> 
> Your daughter has a good judgement of character. I no longer like white jackets either


He is pretty scary isn't he!


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## ableton (May 24, 2013)

bigbob33 said:


> Bit of a strange one this... My 13 year old girl has been a bit up and down after being on Facebook lately, so much so my wife was concerned enough to investigate. Turns out a lad she's fancied for a few years has been getting her to send pics of herself in her skimpies (not that skimpy) to him and suggesting all sorts of sexual shenanigans... On top of that he's been saying he likes the anorexic look and that may be why she's been off her food, he's her age and I know that its all natural and all that **** but she's my little girl and to be honest right now id really quite like to **** the dirty little **** up big time! How the hell am I supposed to get my head round this? Would it be acceptable to get all hostel on him?
> 
> This really is bothering me a lot...
> 
> Any thoughts appreciated


I know someone who will make him go missing for £5,000 ?


----------



## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

ableton said:


> I know someone who will make him go missing for £5,000 ?


I do too  although the personal touch would bring the cost down a lot more lol


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

A chat was had, privelidges were revoked, tears were shed and an appropriate (adult) plan of action has been started, **** me, tough day


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

bigbob33 said:


> A chat was had, privelidges were revoked, tears were shed and an appropriate (adult) plan of action has been started, **** me, tough day


What's the plan mate? Need to deal with the lad imo.


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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

Scare the sh!t out a 13 year old boy.

Ban a teenage girl from using Facebook.

Two of the worst ideas I've heard in quite a while.

A good parent is a coach, not a thuggish bodyguard or a tyrannical dictator. At her age, she needs someone to help her make the right decisions for herself. Someone who she trusts enough to share her problems with and whose guidance she will value.

Your real problem now is how to deal with the inevitable backlash when she finds out you've invaded her privacy. Good luck with that.


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

It turns out she's not alone and a lot of her friends have done the same for him or worse so my first port of call is talking to the school as I know they have cyber policies in place, if they fail to act in what I consider an appropriate manor then the police will become involved, I personally feel that its gone beyond what his parents can effectively deal with.


----------



## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

bigbob33 said:


> It turns out she's not alone and a lot of her friends have done the same for him or worse so my first port of call is talking to the school as I know they have cyber policies in place, if they fail to act in what I consider an appropriate manor then the police will become involved, I personally feel that its gone beyond what his parents can effectively deal with.


Well, if this has been happening to a number of the young female pupils, then I would approach the Head too. Well done.


----------



## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

Huntingground said:


> Well, if this has been happening to a number of the young female pupils, then I would approach the Head too. Well done.


Now that you know what you know, I'd tell the police as well as the school. There could be more to this than you realise.


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Ian_Montrose said:


> Now that you know what you know, I'd tell the police as well as the school. There could be more to this than you realise.


I reckon the Head will take this course of action anyhow but, yes, I agree!!


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## Goosh (Jun 24, 2012)

Huntingground said:


> Difficult one mate, but sending pics at 13yo isn't on. Also the anorexia thing is worrying too.
> 
> I would talk to my girl and try to straighten her out. Also I would talk to the lad's Mum and Dad too.


Agree with @Huntingground. Speaking to the kids parents, even as a heads up, would be my first move.


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## grant hunter (Apr 21, 2009)

A wouldn't really think the police could do much?? Or the school can't get involved in social networking out with school!! If it were me I would be absolutely furious but I would maybe teach your daughter that it was the wrong thing too do. And then approach the boys patents and let them know that there son can not carry on behaving like this.


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

ableton said:


> I know someone who will make him go missing for £5,000 ?


5k you're havin a laugh mate. I know a bunch of 13yr olds who'd do it for £250 and some weed. They do a half decent job of it too


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

bigbob33 said:


> It turns out she's not alone and a lot of her friends have done the same for him or worse so my first port of call is talking to the school as I know they have cyber policies in place, if they fail to act in what I consider an appropriate manor then the police will become involved, I personally feel that its gone beyond what his parents can effectively deal with.


I can understand you cock blockin him with your daughter but every other girl in the skool?!?!

Poor kid


----------



## Athenian (Sep 19, 2012)

Before getting the Police involved make sure there are more than 1 girl willing to come forward and that they can prove what's been going on. Not calling anyone a liar here but sometimes scared teens lie to get themselves out of trouble so let's not rush to publicly humiliate or destroy someone's reputation.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

a.notherguy said:


> to be fair on the lad, if 99% of the guys on this forum had the techonology at 13 that kids do nowadays, they would be doing exactly the same thing.
> 
> Yep!! This lad is doing nothing any different than most his age...the point is when it's ur daughter it hits home...
> 
> hunt him down anyway!


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## Ackee&amp;Saltfish (Mar 18, 2011)

At 13 we didn't have mobile phones internet or even Facebook, it was all done face to face at snap disco, having daughters in this day and age is a nightmare


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## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

grant hunter said:


> A wouldn't really think the police could do much?? Or the school can't get involved in social networking out with school!! If it were me I would be absolutely furious but I would maybe teach your daughter that it was the wrong thing too do. And then approach the boys patents and let them know that there son can not carry on behaving like this.


All secondary schools have cyber bullying and cyber safety policies. They will absolutely get involved in this sort of situation. Quite rightly too if a number of students are involved.


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## Carbon-12 (Feb 26, 2013)

no offense to the OP but whats wrong with today youth, seriously.. been that age not long ago and had tons of friends, including girls and the only thing we were upset about was mum not letting me play outside or watch my t shows.....

but yeah, sucks to have a daughter nowadays..


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

cgospodinov said:


> no offense to the OP but whats wrong with today youth, seriously.. been that age not long ago and had tons of friends, including girls and the only thing we were upset about was mum not letting me play outside or watch my t shows.....
> 
> but yeah, sucks to have a daughter nowadays..


I don't think having a daughter sucks nor does having a son, there are just different issues you'll have to deal with as a parent depending on the gender and personality. Kinda insulting to say having a daughter sucks.


----------



## Carbon-12 (Feb 26, 2013)

Gym Bunny said:


> I don't think having a daughter sucks nor does having a son, there are just different issues you'll have to deal with as a parent depending on the gender and personality. Kinda insulting to say having a daughter sucks.


of course, sorry if it came that way, dealing with different issues depending on the gender is all i meant!!


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Gym Bunny said:


> I don't think having a daughter sucks nor does having a son, there are just different issues you'll have to deal with as a parent depending on the gender and personality. Kinda insulting to say having a daughter sucks.


Sons are better

Argument over


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## hackskii (Jul 27, 2003)

I love my daughter.


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

Breda said:


> Sons are better
> 
> Argument over


Lies! They're equally frustrating and wonderful. :tt2:


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## mrbritish (Mar 29, 2013)

Gym Bunny said:


> I don't think having a daughter sucks nor does having a son, there are just different issues you'll have to deal with as a parent depending on the gender and personality. Kinda insulting to say having a daughter sucks.


Yes daughters are naff

Amount of radio controlled cars/helicopters

Scalectrix sets she's not been interested in so I've had to buy fluffy toys or some crap bead makeing set .

:-(


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Gym Bunny said:


> Lies! They're equally frustrating and wonderful. :tt2:


But I know how to play football and xbox I'm not very good at plaitin hair and playin dress up lol


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

Breda said:


> But I know how to play football and xbox I'm not very good at plaitin hair and playin dress up lol


Oy! Stereotyping much? My Da taught me how to spin throw a rugby ball. Really improved my game. And how to shoot and fish. Just cause she's a girl doesn't necessarily mean she only wants to braid her hair and play dress up. He used to do my sewing homework for me cause I can't stitch for sh1t. I always got an A when he my sewing.


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Gym Bunny said:


> Oy! Stereotyping much? My Da taught me how to spin throw a rugby ball. Really improved my game. And how to shoot and fish. Just cause she's a girl doesn't necessarily mean she only wants to braid her hair and play dress up. He used to do my sewing homework for me cause I can't stitch for sh1t. I always got an A when he my sewing.


Sounds like deep down he wished you were a boy GB


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

Breda said:


> Sounds like deep down he wished you were a boy GB


I have 2 brothers as well, but I'm the one he always invites to go salmon fishing. Cause I are the bestest :tt2:


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Gym Bunny said:


> I have 2 brothers as well, but I'm the one he always invites to go salmon fishing. Cause I are the bestest :tt2:


Haha

Your Da sounds like a good man and if I have a daughter who turned out like you I wouldn't be disappointed


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

Breda said:


> Haha
> 
> Your Da sounds like a good man and if I have a daughter who turned out like you I wouldn't be disappointed


Thank you. My Da is awesome! Although he drives my Mum nuts. Seriously though, having a kick about with your Da is great fun. Plus of course when she gets older if she can explain the offside rule that impresses boys.


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## D3RF (Apr 15, 2011)

my primary concern would be the anorexia thing, that **** can kill.

also i wud have words with her about bein careful what pics to take. maybe not too harsh. maybe get the mrs to do it with a softly softly approach so she doesnt flip an wanna rebel...


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## whatsacycle? (May 19, 2013)

Back on topic

@ the op, what your daughter is going through is a form of abuse that we as kids never had to deal with, times they are a changing in the words of a famous dude. The amount of suicides that have been caused by online bullying in this day and age is steadily increasing, parents need to be far more aware of the kinds of traps our kids face that simply didn't exist when we were growing up.

We need to educate our children about stuff before it happens to them, and expose kids that play these sorts of games to police schools and other parents as fast as we can to be honest, for the benefit of anyone caught up in this kid of [email protected]

Oh and if all that fails as BREDA said if the boy is messing with your princess;

Kill him!


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## Deeboy (Dec 1, 2007)

This phone photo thing is very very common.

Had issues with my own daughter and a guy.

And found out loads of young teenagers are doing it.

Technology is making all kids grow up way to fast now.

I handled it the over protective way and was burnt out from trying to show her the right way.

Punishment is hard to enforce were you have family who butt in and give them money etc.

They dont appreciate it as there is little work around for them and they dont have to earn it.

What age do fathers here think its ok for your daughter to have sex ?

Ideal world not until married and the right man etc. so is 15/16 accepted ?


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## Athenian (Sep 19, 2012)

Deeboy said:


> What age do fathers here think its ok for your daughter to have sex ?
> 
> *Ideal world not until married* and the right man etc. so is 15/16 accepted ?


Really? Given how devastating sexual incompatibility can be to a relationship, let alone something as official as a legally binding marriage, why would you want your child (of either sex) to not know as much about their prospective partner as possible before things got so serious and complicated?

Religious right-wingers force this idea of waiting till marriage on their children and it often leads to teenagers jumping into marriage just so they can have sex without feeling guilty and ashamed. They have no clue about sexual gratification or natural contraception and end up having an unplanned child within a year of getting married, only to realise a couple of years later they are so incompatible they can't stand each other and become horrible parents because of how unprepared they were for the whole set-up.

Sex is way too powerful and improtan to be left to chance. The more we know about our own preferences the better equipped we'll be to find a suitable partner and the happier we will make each other.


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## Freeby0 (Oct 5, 2012)

I find out if i am having a boy or girl in 9 days now!!.... i want a boy after this thread, but im not making fun of the situation btw mate. Heart goes out to you, **** like this why i always said from the start if im having a girl i want her in private schooling haha!


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

Freeby0 said:


> I find out if i am having a boy or girl in 9 days now!!.... i want a boy after this thread, but im not making fun of the situation btw mate. Heart goes out to you, **** like this why i always said from the start if im having a girl i want her in *private schooling* haha!


Just because a school is private doesn't mean you don't get bullying and typical teenage crap there. Plus girls are mean bitches in school.


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## Freeby0 (Oct 5, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> Just because a school is private doesn't mean you don't get bullying and typical teenage crap there. Plus girls are mean bitches in school.


Oh i meant all girl school sorry and it wasnt fully serious..


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

Freeby0 said:


> Oh i meant all girl school sorry and it wasnt fully serious..


I would not wish an all girls school experience on anyone.


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## Freeby0 (Oct 5, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> I would not wish an all girls school experience on anyone.


why?


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## HAWKUS (Jan 11, 2012)

Thats just what happens when you have a daughter mate,we've all been teenagers before...boys will be boys,pretty certain every lad on here would of done something similar at that age if they were giving access to facebook and what not.

The rise of facebook,camera phones etc has made being a teenager a totally different experience from what it was when i was younger.


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## bailey-bose (Dec 30, 2011)

13years old .... if my 13year old daughter sent nude pics out i know right there i have failed as a father

if my 13year old daughter was trying get with a guy who had a girlfriend already then again i haven't brought her up right

basically my 13year old daughter would have a lot more self respect

i aint having ago or anything just pointing out that lads will go with ''easy'' girls ... i hope this is not the case here


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

bailey-bose said:


> 13years old .... if my 13year old daughter sent nude pics out i know right there i have failed as a father
> 
> if my 13year old daughter was trying get with a guy who had a girlfriend already then again i haven't brought her up right
> 
> ...


Insensitive comments, ripping into his daughter (she is a very young girl FFS) and also Bob as a father. I would suggest removing them. If somebody wrote those comments about my little girl, there would be murder.


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

bailey-bose said:


> 13years old .... if my 13year old daughter sent nude pics out i know right there i have failed as a father
> 
> *having read her conversations she refused to send naked anything! In fact it took weeks to get a pic of her in her entirely appropriate bra(bought by us) and in fact its less revealing than if she went swimming! It was hard to hear how evasive she was being...*
> 
> ...


I'm sure you didn't mean to cause offence but you don't know me, my daughter or my family and questioning my parenting skills or my daughters morality is out of order mate, if I was a bad parent I wouldn't give a ****, maybe have a bit more tact or keep opinions like this to yourself mate.


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## Freeby0 (Oct 5, 2012)

bailey-bose said:


> 13years old .... if my 13year old daughter sent nude pics out i know right there i have failed as a father
> 
> if my 13year old daughter was trying get with a guy who had a girlfriend already then again i haven't brought her up right
> 
> ...


Do you have kids? Because you sound like a tw4t that doesn't have a fcking clue.


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## Tinytom (Sep 16, 2005)

bailey-bose said:


> 13years old .... if my 13year old daughter sent nude pics out i know right there i have failed as a father
> 
> if my 13year old daughter was trying get with a guy who had a girlfriend already then again i haven't brought her up right
> 
> ...


Sometimes. Thinking before you write can be good.

You have no idea clearly about being a parent or having a teenage child.


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

bailey-bose said:


> 13years old .... if my 13year old daughter sent nude pics out i know right there i have failed as a father
> 
> if my 13year old daughter was trying get with a guy who had a girlfriend already then again i haven't brought her up right
> 
> ...


I would like a ticket to the perfect world you live on please.


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

The Keyboard warrior is strong in this thread!

OP. First thing to do, in my opinion as a father of three girls, one who is 11 and probably not too dissimilar is talk to her and explain about putting pictures on the internet. My kids (12, 10, 6) all have iPads/iPods and Instagram (except for the 6 year old). What do is tell them I need to check their online accounts because of perverts. The 10 year old just thinks perverts are weird men that like to talk to young girls. Luckily the 12 year old has already had her sex education classes so while she was a little disgusted at that it was the perfect time to explain to her what a paedo was etc, etc. Know I can check their accounts no problem, otherwise they don't use the internet.

To all those saying get the kid beaten up or go and have stern words with him etc, etc. Just dumb!!

If talking to her doesn't work then get his parents involved. Even swearing at a kid that isn't your own, in fact even swearing at your own kid, can get you in a whole heap of trouble you don't need. On a side note, does your daughter do this stupid fvcking duckface when posing for pictures? Mine does, and all her mates do, and it irritates the sh!t out of me!!!


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

mikep81 said:


> The Keyboard warrior is strong in this thread!
> 
> OP. First thing to do, in my opinion as a father of three girls, one who is 11 and probably not too dissimilar is talk to her and explain about putting pictures on the internet. My kids (12, 10, 6) all have iPads/iPods and Instagram (except for the 6 year old). What do is tell them I need to check their online accounts because of perverts. The 10 year old just thinks perverts are weird men that like to talk to young girls. Luckily the 12 year old has already had her sex education classes so while she was a little disgusted at that it was the perfect time to explain to her what a paedo was etc, etc. Know I can check their accounts no problem, otherwise they don't use the internet.
> 
> ...












:laugh:


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

MutantX said:


> :laugh:


Yeah that's the one. I tried explaining to my kid that she looks stupid when doing it and she responded with "well you're not cool, so what do you know"!!


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## grant hunter (Apr 21, 2009)

[email protected] said:


> All secondary schools have cyber bullying and cyber safety policies. They will absolutely get involved in this sort of situation. Quite rightly too if a number of students are involved.


Yeah for in school in term. If it has happened at night. Out with school. Then they won't get involved. Speaking from experience. Why would they???


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

Am i the only one that would act calm, mature and rationaly here?

You need to set a honey trap, sign into fb on your girls account and arrange to meet him deep in the woods or even better, in the back of the van which you locate by the cliffs prior. You fasion a blade and a balaclava and you run at him screaming looking like this.



obvs dont harm him because thats illegal, just explain the error of his ways and that the bogey man is never far away.

Not only will he never go near your daughter again, neither will anyone else :lol:


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## funkdocta (May 29, 2013)

You obviously cant kick a 13 yr old's head in so unless you also have a son around that age all you can do is scare the **** out of the little ****! And possible go confront his dad. My girl is only 2 years old i am dreading her teenage years so much  I think I may end up in the nick.


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## Raw meat 1984 (Sep 17, 2008)

cgospodinov said:


> no offense to the OP but whats wrong with today youth, seriously.. *been that age not long ago* and had tons of friends, including girls and the only thing we were upset about was mum not letting me play outside or watch my t shows.....
> 
> but yeah, sucks to have a daughter nowadays..


last week?


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## Marshan (Aug 27, 2010)

cgospodinov said:


> no offense to the OP but whats wrong with today youth, seriously.. been that age not long ago and had tons of friends, including girls and the only thing we were upset about was mum not letting me play outside or watch my t shows.....
> 
> but yeah, sucks to have a daughter nowadays..


Jesus H Christ...how old are you?


----------



## Marshan (Aug 27, 2010)

Gym Bunny said:


> I don't think having a daughter sucks nor does having a son, there are just different issues you'll have to deal with as a parent depending on the gender and personality. Kinda insulting to say having a daughter sucks.


Pfft....hes something like 20 going on 60....FOS.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Breda said:


> Sons are better
> 
> Argument over


Lol..yayyyyy! However..I end up with the girls crying coz he's dumped them! They appear on MY doorstep and I'm left with the doing the tea and sympathy ..so boys can be a pain too indirectly.


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## Carbon-12 (Feb 26, 2013)

Raw meat 1984 said:


> last week?


nuh around 6 years ago 



mixerD1 said:


> Jesus H Christ...how old are you?


young.. what does it have to do with this lol


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## Beklet (May 13, 2005)

bailey-bose said:


> 13years old .... if my 13year old daughter sent nude pics out i know right there i have failed as a father
> 
> if my 13year old daughter was trying get with a guy who had a girlfriend already then again i haven't brought her up right
> 
> ...


Wow.....surely this is a contender for 'sanctimonious post of the week'

The pics were not nude

She's fancied the lad for years

'Easy'? No just naive, I assume that's not allowed in your perfect little world

Did you even read the original post or were you too busy trying to climb up on that high horse of yours?

Trying to 'slut-shame' a 13 year old? You have a salubrious career as a high court judge ahead of you.....


----------



## hackskii (Jul 27, 2003)

Beklet said:


> Wow.....surely this is a contender for 'sanctimonious post of the week'
> 
> The pics were not nude
> 
> ...


Love it^^^^^^^^^^

Remember though, that is a very high horse he was climbing, probably took a ladder to get up to it.


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## haza1234 (Jan 8, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> Really? How childish. Guy posted a topic because he's worried and that is your response.


Take a joke mate, Nothing personal.


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

haza1234 said:


> Take a joke mate, Nothing personal.


1. I'm not your mate.

2. Considering the topic it was childish.

3. If it'd had been in a light hearted topic I would have laughed.


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## braxbro (Aug 6, 2013)

All this talk of police and hitting this lad is way over the top bordering on ridiculous. Its a case 13 year olds being young and immature. Totally different if the guy was a lot older but hes still a boy also. The pictures are also not nude so settle down. Police? lol.

Have a word with your daughter in a long and calm fashion, explain what she is doing is not the route to go. I would also send the lad a message through my own FB and tell him I know what hes upto and if he doesn't stop his games then you'll follow the " right channels" to ensure he treats her with respect. knock it out professionally and with a little understanding that kids will be kids.


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## haza1234 (Jan 8, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> 1. I'm not your mate.
> 
> 2. Considering the topic it was childish.
> 
> 3. If it'd had been in a light hearted topic I would have laughed.


Right :thumb:


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## britbull (Mar 18, 2004)

Beklet said:


> Wow.....surely this is a contender for 'sanctimonious post of the week'
> 
> The pics were not nude
> 
> ...


To be fair I think the posters heart was in the right place with his post. As parents it is our job to give our kids the tools to handle life in the real world(getting harder everyday)

If my 13 year old got involved in this carry on then I too would have failed him in some aspects.Couldn't give a damn if the world and his brother are doing the same.It's clear as day the OP is a good parent and gives a damn else this thread wouldn't be here from the outset

Saying 'the pics were not nude' gives credence to what has happened

slut-shame? wtf! you moan about the post bailey made then say that!

Probably part of the reason why 13 year olds act 23 is because too many people say 'oh they are just being kids and that's what they all do'

I'm forever telling my son how easy it is to be like everyone else, but to be yourself takes something special which will serve you well for the rest of your life


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## Beklet (May 13, 2005)

I was not giving credence to anything, I was pointing out an error in the previous post....it was the tone of the post that was so objectionable....


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## TryingToGetBig (May 20, 2010)

Thinking about this topic, I don't think the school or police could or would do anything more than explain to both the kids that this behaviour on both sides is not acceptable.

I also think the difference between the op and most parents of teenage kids is he found out what been going on. I'm sure it's not uncommon (not that that makes it ok)

I think a bit of awareness education is all you could really do in this situation and trust she will / has learned from the mistake


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## westy125 (Jul 24, 2010)

Breda said:


> He's violating your princess mate
> 
> Kill him!


X2 my point of view also


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## Athenian (Sep 19, 2012)

Just to lighten the mood, I think this is a pretty standard first meeting between father and potential boyfriend.


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## Marshan (Aug 27, 2010)

cgospodinov said:


> young.. what does it have to do with this lol


OK....well I think you're a bit too young and childless for this thread. Sorry, no offence.....or have I got it wrong and you're a parent?


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## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

mikep81 said:


> Yeah that's the one. I tried explaining to my kid that she looks stupid when doing it and she responded with "well you're not cool, so what do you know"!!


She has a point though mate :wink:


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## Carbon-12 (Feb 26, 2013)

mixerD1 said:


> OK....well I think you're a bit too young and childless for this thread. Sorry, no offence.....or have I got it wrong and you're a parent?


no.. also its not like i was trying to give the op any advice simply because as u said i dont have any experience, was merely pointing out what me and my friends were doing at that age.. it just blows my mind when i see children that r 10 -14 years old been in such situations


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## Marshan (Aug 27, 2010)

You're a smart enough guy...does the word precocious mean anything to you?


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

lukeee said:


> She has a point though mate :wink:


True!! It's seems I am just a sad, uncool stepdad. Although, I don't do myself any favours. She got the right $rse with me the other day because I said I was going to walk her into class on her third day at senior school so I could meet her new friends! And got even more p!ssed off with me for beeping the horn and waving goodbye. :lol:


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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

I was one of those who mentioned the police. There was one reason for that and that was because several girls have apparently been coerced into sending revealing pictures to this lad. My concern is that it sounds quite sophisticated manipulation for a 13 year-old boy. Not saying it's impossible, just rather unusual. We can't rule out the possibility that someone else is using the boy's account to groom young girls. Also, for the sake of the girls and their families, all the images need to be traced and destroyed, especially as some of the girls may have been persuaded to reveal more than the OP's daughter did.


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

mikep81 said:


> True!! It's seems I am just a sad, uncool stepdad. Although, I don't do myself any favours. She got the right $rse with me the other day because I said I was going to walk her into class on her third day at senior school so I could meet her new friends! And got even more p!ssed off with me for beeping the horn and waving goodbye. :lol:


Good work mike. One of the great pleasures of parenting is bein able to embarrass your child at any given opportunity


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## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

Breda said:


> Good work mike. One of the great pleasures of parenting is bein able to embarrass your child at any given opportunity


Lol I'm brilliant at embarrassing my kids but then I learnt from the best. My dad used to insist on picking me up from parties in his slippers (never waited in the car either). Also would grab my hand and make me skip with him down the high street :lol:


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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

[email protected] said:


> Lol I'm brilliant at embarrassing my kids but then I learnt from the best. My dad used to insist on picking me up from parties in his slippers (never waited in the car either). Also would grab my hand and make me skip with him down the high street :lol:


It's a dad's right, and indeed his duty, to embarrass his kids. Good to see that in this age of enlightened equality mums are also starting to give it some. I do my best but actually find myself on the receiving end of it as well. Last year I came back from a short business trip to find that my then 15 year-old daughter had enlisted the help of her friends to try and embarrass me. They decked out the train station with banners ("we love Ian", "Welcome home Ian", "Ian's angels" etc) and as I stepped onto the platform I was mobbed by about a dozen hysterical screaming teenage girls. I still need to get her back for that one.


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

chilisi said:


> You're coming across a real nice gentleman mate. Nothing like how you look


Not sure if I should thank you or neg you for that but seein as I dont want to send you into the red I'll say thanks mate


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## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

Ian_Montrose said:


> It's a dad's right, and indeed his duty, to embarrass his kids. Good to see that in this age of enlightened equality mums are also starting to give it some. I do my best but actually find myself on the receiving end of it as well. Last year I came back from a short business trip to find that my then 15 year-old daughter had enlisted the help of her friends to try and embarrass me. They decked out the train station with banners ("we love Ian", "Welcome home Ian", "Ian's angels" etc) and as I stepped onto the platform I was mobbed by about a dozen hysterical screaming teenage girls. I still need to get her back for that one.


Ha ha that's brilliant! Sounds like you have a lovely relationship with your daughter


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## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

mikep81 said:


> True!! It's seems I am just a sad, uncool stepdad. Although, I don't do myself any favours. She got the right $rse with me the other day because I said I was going to walk her into class on her third day at senior school so I could meet her new friends! And got even more p!ssed off with me for beeping the horn and waving goodbye. :lol:


It would be rude to not live up to the uncoolness mate, id do it even more just for the fun of it! :thumbup1:


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

bailey-bose said:


> 13years old .... if my 13year old daughter sent nude pics out i know right there i have failed as a father
> 
> if my 13year old daughter was trying get with a guy who had a girlfriend already then again i haven't brought her up right
> 
> ...


Lol at the perfect dad


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

so how did this end?


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## Beklet (May 13, 2005)

mixerD1 said:


> OK....well I think you're a bit too young and childless for this thread. Sorry, no offence.....or have I got it wrong and you're a parent?


So having no children means we cannot have an opinion or comment on the thread???

:mellow:


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

Beklet said:


> So having no children means we cannot have an opinion or comment on the thread???
> 
> :mellow:


His comment was aimed specifically at a teenager poster in the thread who was being a patronising and said having a daughter sucked.


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## Marshan (Aug 27, 2010)

Beklet said:


> So having no children means we cannot have an opinion or comment on the thread???
> 
> :mellow:


Nah...*you* can Beklet. You're not too young you see.


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## Marshan (Aug 27, 2010)

Gym Bunny said:


> His comment was aimed specifically at a teenager poster in the thread who was being a patronising and said having a daughter sucked.


Cheers GB...thought I was gonna get ripped for that one...


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

mixerD1 said:


> Cheers GB...thought I was gonna get ripped for that one...


We oldies must stick together! :lol:


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

Gym Bunny said:


> 1. I'm not your mate.
> 
> 2. Considering the topic it was childish.
> 
> 3. If it'd had been in a light hearted topic I would have laughed.


3 only presuming it had actually been funny and he'd said his instead of he's though?


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## Marshan (Aug 27, 2010)

Gym Bunny said:


> We oldies must stick together! :lol:


 :001_tt2: (true!!)


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## bigbob33 (Jan 19, 2009)

MutantX said:


> so how did this end?


im currently fashioning a coat from his skin.....

In all seriousness its being dealt with on his part by the school, as regards my daughter, we have it very much in hand


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

bigbob33 said:


> im currently fashioning a coat from his skin.....
> 
> In all seriousness its being dealt with on his part by the school, as regards my daughter, we have it very much in hand


Oh I'm so glad to read this! :thumb:


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## Beklet (May 13, 2005)

Gym Bunny said:


> His comment was aimed specifically at a teenager poster in the thread who was being a patronising and said having a daughter sucked.


I know it was the childless comment...



mixerD1 said:


> Cheers GB...thought I was gonna get ripped for that one...


Nah for once it was a bit of a wind up question instead of me being an obnoxious git :lol:

As for oldies...pfft GB I am much older than you...


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

Beklet said:


> I know it was the childless comment...
> 
> Nah for once it was a bit of a wind up question instead of me being an obnoxious git :lol:
> 
> As for oldies...pfft GB I am much older than you...


Well I'm feeling old today. My arthritis is playing up in this cold, damp weather and I'm wearing slippers :lol:


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## hackskii (Jul 27, 2003)

Gym Bunny said:


> Well I'm feeling old today. My arthritis is playing up in this cold, damp weather and I'm wearing slippers :lol:


Im oldest, my colitis is acting up, I need my diapers:lol:

Just kidding, I don't need diapers, a head doctor, but no diapers.


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

There both young and immature.

Your daughter needs educating that what is happening isn't right and is dangerous etc.

If there lad is the same age it's just kids being kids but magnified due to Facebook.

I would consider monitoring her account and possibly speaking to the boys parents about it so they can educate there child as well.

If he is however old he needs a beating.

He is just young and horny trying to get pictures of girls his own age, heck I did the same at his age (obviously not the anorexia thing).

I understand your stress mate I spend a lot of my time helping my auntie raise my cousin who is 12 and I'd be devestated if this happened to her but only thing to be done is educate both parties and maybe consider if its a bit soon for social networks


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

lukeee said:


> It would be rude to not live up to the uncoolness mate, id do it even more just for the fun of it! :thumbup1:


Oh I plan on it! She's having some friends over for a sleep over on Friday night after a disco and I've told her I'm going to make our own disco at home using MTV and turning the lights on and off when they get back. She was horrified!


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## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

mikep81 said:


> Oh I plan on it! She's having some friends over for a sleep over on Friday night after a disco and I've told her I'm going to make our own disco at home using MTV and turning the lights on and off when they get back. She was horrified!


Perfect opportunity to show off your "dad dancing" skills! :lol:


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## cult (Nov 7, 2009)

Have a 12 yr old daughter and went threw her phone and seen pics she was taking of herself(fully clothed) in the mirror. I went ****ing mental and told her that if i see any other pics even remotly like it, ill be smashing her phone/tv and what ever else she has in her room. Did i do the right thing, i dont know but i know one thing, the pics have stopped.


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## dtlv (Jul 24, 2009)

mikep81 said:


> Oh I plan on it! She's having some friends over for a sleep over on Friday night after a disco and I've told her I'm going to make our own disco at home using MTV and turning the lights on and off when they get back. She was horrified!


"Ugh - dad, that's soooo lame!" :lol:


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## Beklet (May 13, 2005)

mikep81 said:


> Oh I plan on it! She's having some friends over for a sleep over on Friday night after a disco and I've told her I'm going to make our own disco at home using MTV and turning the lights on and off when they get back. She was horrified!


MTV? Amateur...you need Vintage TV :lol:

I love Vintage TV

*toddles off to buy some stuff out of the 'Innovations' catalogue*

:laugh:


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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

cult said:


> Have a 12 yr old daughter and went threw her phone and seen pics she was taking of herself(fully clothed) in the mirror. I went ****ing mental and told her that if i see any other pics even remotly like it, ill be smashing her phone/tv and what ever else she has in her room. Did i do the right thing, i dont know but i know one thing, the pics have stopped.


Or she's just learned to hide them better! I've never snooped on any of my kids or my wife's phone, facebook, email etc and so far she hasn't left me for someone else and they have't been abducted by paedos. I rely on trust, communication and education and I respect their right to privacy. That's just my way and it's not for me to judge how other parents raise their family.


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## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

cult said:


> Have a 12 yr old daughter and went threw her phone and seen pics she was taking of herself(fully clothed) in the mirror. I went ****ing mental and told her that if i see any other pics even remotly like it, ill be smashing her phone/tv and what ever else she has in her room. Did i do the right thing, i dont know but i know one thing, the pics have stopped.


What's wrong with her taking pics of herself in the mirror?


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

cult said:


> Have a 12 yr old daughter and went threw her phone and seen pics she was taking of herself(fully clothed) in the mirror. I went ****ing mental and told her that if i see any other pics even remotly like it, ill be smashing her phone/tv and what ever else she has in her room. Did i do the right thing, i dont know but i know one thing, the pics have stopped.


Jesus h Christ!


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## cult (Nov 7, 2009)

Ian_Montrose said:


> Or she's just learned to hide them better! I've never snooped on any of my kids or my wife's phone, facebook, email etc and so far she hasn't left me for someone else and they have't been abducted by paedos. I rely on trust, communication and education and I respect their right to privacy. That's just my way and it's not for me to judge how other parents raise their family.





[email protected] said:


> What's wrong with her taking pics of herself in the mirror?





Kimball said:


> Jesus h Christ!


I forgot to mention that her wee buddies where caught talking to older guys(about 16) on the net and they where asking for pictures etc.. The comment above asking whats wrong with taking pics, they wherent just any aul pic, even thou she was fully clothed, its teh way she was standing in them that i didnt like. If i ever find out that teh 16yr olds where asking her and her friends for other pics, id be cutting their bollox off i teel ya


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## MrM (Feb 6, 2012)

Freeby0 said:


> why?


Academically girls often do better at an all girls school ..... but that's it. Bullying, drugs, sex etc all feature to the same extent. Plus they don't learn to compete with or work with boys - I can't see why that's seen as a good thing.


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