# Not getting anywhere



## ferdinandg1 (Apr 10, 2017)

So, some of you might remember me from a thread on this forum a few months ago. I'm a 17 year old guy with cerebral palsy and a recovering anorexic. I started training in April, four months ago today. I'm 5'8", and was 120lbs when I started training (up from a low of around 75lbs when I was 15). I am now 143lbs ish, but I have not seen any changes in my body. I still have ludicrously small arms (never measured, but wouldn't be surprised if they were under 10" flexed), and just don't seem to have put any muscle on anywhere, at least from the point where I started training. I know it's probably at least a case of eating more, but for obvious reasons that's not as easy as it sounds, given that I'm scared of eating because the irrational part of me says I'll get fatter, but scared of not eating because I obviously won't gain muscle.

Any advice would me appreciated, diet plans, a slap round the face, anything. I just know I need some sort of motivation or whatever.

Cheers


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## Sasnak (Oct 11, 2016)

Hello, yes, I remember you! I responded as you will recall.

You have concerns about lack of progress but you have gained 23lbs? That seems like a good return to me  especially if you have not got fat.

Do bear in mind that muscle tissue is a lot heavier than fat tissue so it will not be as obvious. Realistically you are looking at 12 months before you will see big changes.

Consider that you see yourself in the mirror daily, so you are hardly likely to notice the slow changes. Also, you are gaining weight at a rate of a bit under half a stone a month, that's pretty impressive to be honest.

iirc you posted a pic, how about posting it again with a new pic showing your current condition so we can judge as given your weight gain, you are clearly doing really well.

edit - don't worry about gaining a little fat, it comes hand in hand with muscle bulking. You can always cut later!


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## ferdinandg1 (Apr 10, 2017)

Hey! Yeah, I remember you.

I mean, I guess it's okay, but I worry that I have got fat (although to be honest, I thought I was fat when I weighed about 90lbs, so maybe it's just me)

I hadn't thought about that, but yeah it does worry me. I don't want to be starting university with 8" arms or whatever they are, so I'm just hoping something happens.

I guess, people have told me they've noticed a change, but the mentally messed-up part of me can't really get my head around it.

Pictures are below- good luck telling the difference, I know I can't haha.

Yeah, I guess. I just have to get over the latent fesr of fat that's been haunting me all the way from 160lbs to 68lbs and back again.


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## Sasnak (Oct 11, 2016)

You look a bit leaner and more defined so you are going in the right direction, as I have said before, you have gained quite a bit of weight so just keep going.

What's your routine and how many calories are you eating daily


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## ferdinandg1 (Apr 10, 2017)

Thanks mate. I do feel stronger, it's just the visual thing that gets me, but it's good to know other people can see what I can't. My arms are 11" or 12" flexed, it turns out, which is still minuscule, but considering my circumstances, not what I''d feared- not even the smallest I've heard of.

I've got a printout of my routine somewhere, will find it and post a picture. I'm trying to eat 3k cals daily- easier some days than others.

Thanks again!

(PS- frantically trying to remember who the character is in your avatar.. My brother watches that show almost obsessively, I know, but can't remember the name)


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## Robbie (Dec 31, 2007)

What does your daily food and training look like?


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## Sasnak (Oct 11, 2016)

3k cals sounds okay. Again, what routine are you following. Building muscle is simple, eat in surplus and train.

View attachment IMG_2454.JPG


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## 72670 (Sep 17, 2016)

ferdinandg1 said:


> Thanks mate. I do feel stronger, it's just the visual thing that gets me, but it's good to know other people can see what I can't. My arms are 11" or 12" flexed, it turns out, which is still minuscule, but considering my circumstances, not what I''d feared- not even the smallest I've heard of.
> 
> I've got a printout of my routine somewhere, will find it and post a picture. I'm trying to eat 3k cals daily- easier some days than others.
> 
> ...


 3k calories you're just going to get fat


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## ferdinandg1 (Apr 10, 2017)

Yeah, but it's very rare that I manage it. Normally i hit 2500


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## Cago1355 (Aug 22, 2017)

don't afraid

nobody has started with huge muscles and low bf%

try to get stronger


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## SNAKEBITE (Aug 30, 2017)

Looking good to me.

There is a clear improvement in your body shape, and I guess that is what it's all about rather that figures at the moment.

The best thing of all s that you've obviously stuck at it and are making progress, fair play to you and congratulations!


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## Uryens (Aug 10, 2017)

For what it worth man, I started weightlifting after 9 years of anorexia at 5'7 and 91 lbs, I also did get low in number at the start of the illness when I was 17 but not as low as you (80lbs for my part, which was already hell, I still remember the tube flush :'( )

It takes times, for my part, first year I did gain 21 lbs then I did panick an did a lot of cardio and stop gaining weight for 6 month, then gain again a bit of weight like 10lbs and ever since I did slowly gain weight.

I'm now at 152 lbs at around 13-14% body fat, I would said and intermediate number of strength but far from what someone could expect after 4-4.5 years of lifting.

The thing mate is that we start with a lot of disadvantage : low test, some health issue with liver and so on and it took almost 1-2 years for us to reach a normal since we start from very very low bw and, for me it was the case, we are reluctant to really eat at the beginning of our journey.

So man, don't desperate, you have made really good progress so far, it just take some time.

Also, don't know for you but severe anorexia often pairs with severe depression and an harsh mindset towards oneself so we always see ourselves as s**t. Tbh, each and every day, God makes I feel worthless but with the help of God, I got the drive to go through and sometimes after a workout, you can find the inner peace.

Keep up the good work, with time, effort and dedication we can go through thing like that and keep in mind that we had the will to starve ourselves to death which means that we also have the willpower to go through workout, diet and all the s**t needed to make good progress.

I truly wish you well from the bottom of my heart.

Regards


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## ferdinandg1 (Apr 10, 2017)

@SNAKEBITE cheers, I'm intrigued as to what exactly that improvement is haha, as I say for whatever reason I can't see or feel much of an improvement myself, but cheers!

@Uryens thanks mate, it's interesting to read from the perspective of someone else who's suffered with this s**t. I can completely see your point re: the severe anorexia-depression link too

I'll post my routine on here tomorrow, for anyone who was asking. It's a full body thing, 3x/week.


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## SNAKEBITE (Aug 30, 2017)

The thing is you see yourself everyday, and therefore you don't always notice the change.


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## JB91 (Jul 31, 2017)

I suffered with binge eating for a number of years mate, never diagnosed though as I never looked for help. Would eat s**t loads one day and then pretty much starve myself the next week, and at 6ft 2 and 11 stone I was underweight. I started lifting and eating proper a year and a half ago now, and completely understand and emphasize with your journey out of a s**t place.

Although certainly unorthodox, I found strength in just trying to put any amount of weight on from what I was, be it muscle or fat. I wouldn't recommend it perhaps, as I did gain a bit of fat on my stomach which is still with me, but to help me out of the place I was in I needed something to keep me going and for the first couple of months I clung on to what I saw on the scales.

It sounds like you make some good progress, and as said above, you see yourself every day so you don't notice any change. Keep plugging away mate and the results will come. :thumbup1:


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