# My big fat tasty balls, mmmmmmmm yeah baby, thats just how I roll...



## rs007

...well, I know many of you have dreamed of tasting my lovely balls, and now with this recipe below, you too can be rolling my lovely balls around in your mouth!!! As usual from me, no nonsense, no ponce, no faaacking about - quick delicious grub in little time that is good for bulking or dieting alike.

take 500g of lean pork, beef, or turkey mince.

Season a little, then break up into 10 or so even blobs. Roll these into balls.

Get a frying pan on a medium heat, put a bit of olive oil in, and place the balls in the pan. You want to get them browned off all round, so turn regularly.

While doing that, finely chop a large onion, and add that to a second pan with a little oil. Once softened, bash in a can of chopped plum tomatoes and around 150g of tomato puree. Lob in some garlic (1 or two cloves), a good teaspoonful or two of dried oregano, and a teaspoonful of basil. Put in a teaspoon of sugar and some salt to taste. Simmer that nice lot up, stirring frequently.

Once its been simmering for a couple of minutes, take your balls out and plop them into the sauce. Stir them up really good and simmer away for a further 10 or so min.

Check one of the balls to make sure cooked throughout, and if so, serve up. Grate a bit of decent cheddar on top or use parmesan, and add salt/pepper to taste.

If using lean beef mince, each ball will give you around 11-12g of protein, pork or turkey will generally be slightly less. Fat very low, carbs very low.

Tastes fkn outstanding, but then again, what else did you expect of my balls!!!!










Oh one more thing, this is especially good for the guys, high in concentrated lycopene, a chemical found in tomatoes - very powerful antioxidant and claimed anticarcinogen, especially with regards to the prostate alledgedley... so guys, get some of my beautiful balls in your mouth too, no excuses!!!

I should give props to Hilly for inspiring me to bash this one out, but as I have already gave him enough reps for his poncy recipe ideas, I reckon I have bought copyright many times over. So, quite literally, you can suck my balls Hilly.


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## Lil D

Nice recipe , I presume this serves two or split it into two meals? Doubt I could use this on a keto with the amount of tomatos in it and the addition of sugar and an onion.


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## rs007

Lil D said:


> Nice recipe , I presume this serves two or split it into two meals? Doubt I could use this on a keto with the amount of tomatos in it and the addition of sugar and an onion.


Well I am a fat **** so it serves just me :whistling:

Average people, could serve 2 a hearty meal.

Sugar isnt essential, even then its 5g or less for the whole meal, carbs in the toms are low, but I acknowledge prob not low enough for some of the extreme low carbs on keto.

But then I got to good nick on stage twice eating stuff worse than this, so it is still perfectly fit for purpose :lol: :thumb:

Anyway, Lil D, forget your damn keto and just put my balls in your mouth :whistling:


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## rs007

For ref if you get the sauce made nice its lovely, like a really nice refreshing pizza sauce :thumbup1:


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## Lil D

haha well I've heard across the board of how you prepped and Im jealous , but then again im a fatter bastard hence keto to totally shock my system , might workout the carbs in it later depending if im bored :laugh:

Definetly sounds like a spot on recipe if I get the drive to make a pizza , just make that and put it on a pizza base with tons of mozzerella now we're getting somewhere! :thumb:


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## IanStu

Ummmm nice recipe..I'm mighty tempted to try it.....but just a little request first:

Would you be able to give us details of how we can get our gobs around your sausage...I'm sure many on this site would be eager to try....and I imagine equaly as nutritious as your lovely balls...just a thought for the future :thumbup1:


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## adesign

I have made these a few times. I love it. No lean mince though as keto & cheaper :lol:


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## Rosedale6

I cant wait to taste your balls mates, gonna give this a try tonight.


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## rs007

Lil D said:


> Definetly sounds like a spot on recipe if I get the drive to make a pizza , just make that and put it on a pizza base with tons of mozzerella now we're getting somewhere! :thumb:


Got a good recipe for Pizza too mate - including base (supermarket premade ones are pumped full of additives), I'll see if I can find it. Basically it makes pizza - something most people are afraid of lol - into a superclean "cheat". Almost a liberty calling it a cheat - if you put decent toppings on it almost becomes the perfect bodybuilding food :thumbup1:


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## Lil D

well if you have a pizza dough recipe , I'd love it , Im all for "cheats" but not keen on processed foods I just like my cheats being good real foods and making it myself , be it a curry or lasagne or pizza. I just see cheats as where calories don't matter just load up on your good carb sources and fats and proteins and be jolly. :thumb:


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## hilly

hahaha that looks very tasty mate i will be adding some of those additions to mine and you can have copyright and reps to this.

for a quick and easy pizza use wholemeal tortilla wraps and grill them or a pitta bread not cut in half just as it is. use chooped tomatoes/tomato puree and lea in perrins and blend so you get a sauce and spread on pitta bread or wrap. add grilled chicken and some low fat mozzerela cheese and anything else one likes then bake in oven.

I actually like to drizzle some olive oil infused in garlic once as it makes the base go very crispy.


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## rs007

hilly2008 said:


> I actually like to drizzle some olive oil infused in garlic once as it makes the base go very crispy.


This comment for the gay win tbh

:thumb:

:lol:


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## hilly

hahaha ill be gay as you like as long as my food tastes good. i tell you what you bring ure balls and ill bring my pizza and my raisen,banana and apple oatcake and well have a tea party


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## rs007

Think this is where we are going wrong Hilly

Everyone knows REAL bodybuilders eat only boiled chicken and boiled brown rice

:lol:


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## jw007

rs007 said:


> Think this is where we are going wrong Hilly
> 
> Everyone knows REAL bodybuilders eat only boiled chicken and boiled brown rice
> 
> :lol:


and nandos (yawwwwwwwwwwn) once a month the cheating fcks

IN fact I had chance to lunch in Nandos last thrursday, I declined, as I wanted some real food...

Just loking thro window,should have seen amount of badly tanned orange\marmite coloured folk, wearing rag tops and bumbags looking like anorexia victims, munching on lettuce leaves and pretending to enjoy it

I spat on the window and walked on by to blue oyster, do real man food there


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## Zara-Leoni

rs007 said:


> ...well, I know many of you have dreamed of tasting my lovely balls, and now with this recipe below, you too can be rolling my lovely balls around in your mouth!!! As usual from me, no nonsense, no ponce, no faaacking about - quick delicious grub in little time that is good for bulking or dieting alike.
> 
> take 500g of lean pork, beef, or turkey mince.
> 
> Season a little, then break up into 10 or so even blobs. Roll these into balls.
> 
> Get a frying pan on a medium heat, put a bit of olive oil in, and place the balls in the pan. You want to get them browned off all round, so turn regularly.
> 
> While doing that, finely chop a large onion, and add that to a second pan with a little oil. Once softened, bash in a can of chopped plum tomatoes and around 150g of tomato puree. Lob in some garlic (1 or two cloves), a good teaspoonful or two of dried oregano, and a teaspoonful of basil. Put in a teaspoon of sugar and some salt to taste. Simmer that nice lot up, stirring frequently.
> 
> Once its been simmering for a couple of minutes, take your balls out and plop them into the sauce. Stir them up really good and simmer away for a further 10 or so min.
> 
> Check one of the balls to make sure cooked throughout, and if so, serve up. Grate a bit of decent cheddar on top or use parmesan, and add salt/pepper to taste.
> 
> If using lean beef mince, each ball will give you around 11-12g of protein, pork or turkey will generally be slightly less. Fat very low, carbs very low.
> 
> Tastes fkn outstanding, but then again, what else did you expect of my balls!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Oh one more thing, this is especially good for the guys, high in concentrated lycopene, a chemical found in tomatoes - very powerful antioxidant and claimed anticarcinogen, especially with regards to the prostate alledgedley... so guys, get some of my beautiful balls in your mouth too, no excuses!!!
> 
> I should give props to Hilly for inspiring me to bash this one out, but as I have already gave him enough reps for his poncy recipe ideas, I reckon I have bought copyright many times over. So, quite literally, you can suck my balls Hilly.


I make the lean mince version minus the salt and sugar... :thumbup1:

Not keen on turkey... might try it but want a mincer thing... turkey mince is all fat would rather get turkey breasts and mince them...


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## rs007

Zara-Leoni said:


> I make the lean mince version minus the salt and sugar... :thumbup1:
> 
> Not keen on turkey... might try it but want a mincer thing... turkey mince is all fat would rather get turkey breasts and mince them...


The ASDA/Tesco (hate tesco but needs must) turkey micne isnt that bad - around 8 or 9 grams of fat per hundred - keeping in mind that fresh chicken breast is around 5, thats not too bad at all.

Might get a mincer myself, could allow a lot of nice grub come the next prep, whenever that may be


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## Zara-Leoni

rs007 said:


> The ASDA/Tesco (hate tesco but needs must) turkey micne isnt that bad - around 8 or 9 grams of fat per hundred - keeping in mind that fresh chicken breast is around 5, thats not too bad at all.
> 
> Might get a mincer myself, could allow a lot of nice grub come the next prep, whenever that may be


I cant remember what the sainsburys stuff was (only supermarket I go to lol... the others do my head in) just remember was much more than turkey breast.

Mincer sounds a great idea to me too, thought about it this year but never got round to it. Could make all sorts of good stuff and be so much easier than trying to chew, chew, chew all that flipping chicken :thumbup1:


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## hilly

that is a good idea zara, having a mincer would be great. it would make chicken much more enjoyable i reckon. chicken mince burgers etc.


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## rs007

hilly2008 said:


> that is a good idea zara, having a mincer would be great. it would make chicken much more enjoyable i reckon. chicken mince burgers etc.


Most of the semi decent ones have got sausage attachments too, and I do like a bit of sausage :thumbup1:

I do have one, but its manual, and my god its a workout in itself to use the thing :lol:


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## MaKaVeLi

I want your balls rams!


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## rs007

MaKaVeLi said:


> I want your balls rams!


Your not alone Mak

I am expecting DMCC to have multiple simoultaneous orgasms when he reads that indeed, he too, can have my balls in his mouth in just a few minutes, with my hot ball sauce running down his chin.

Plenty to go round for everyone :thumb:


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## defdaz

rs007 said:


> Might get a mincer myself, could allow a lot of nice grub come the next prep, whenever that may be


There's quite a few mincers on here mate, you shouldn't have too many problems! :lol:


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## Lil D

bump for pizza dough recipe! even though hillys cheat pitta base is awesome


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## rs007

tis on me external harddrive down stairs and the pal of the missus is in goin on about her man troubles - will I hell be going down stairs :lol:

PS hilly is an amateur!!! using pitta bread indeed, pffftttt!!!! Sure he makes it sound as if he is skilled by banding about such phrases as "garlic infused olive oil" and other similar nonsense, but what you need to do is read everyone's posts, not the childish insults but the substance.. the actual recipe related information and draw your own conclusions as to what you feel is correct.

Anyway, ElfinTan murders both of us in the kitchen :lol:


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## vlb

pics??

sound braw


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## rs007

vlb said:


> pics??
> 
> sound braw


literally just finished half a batch - if i can actually get downstairs again tonight, I may take a snap, just for you :lol:


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## rs007

oh wait, you do realise this isnt my actual balls I am talking about :whistling:

If not you will be mighty disapointed when you get a pic of some food and not testicles :lol:


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## dog5566

I can wait to have a gob full off you big red balls!! but i think i add sum chilli to mine:thumb:


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## rs007

dog5566 said:


> I can wait to have a gob full off you big red balls!! but i think i add sum chilli to mine:thumb:


Funny you said that, that batch I just cooked off had a liberal bosh of tabasco pumped in :lol:

Very nice.


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## hilly

rs007 said:


> tis on me external harddrive down stairs and the pal of the missus is in goin on about her man troubles - will I hell be going down stairs :lol:
> 
> PS hilly is an amateur!!! using pitta bread indeed, pffftttt!!!! Sure he makes it sound as if he is skilled by banding about such phrases as "garlic infused olive oil" and other similar nonsense, but what you need to do is read everyone's posts, not the childish insults but the substance.. the actual recipe related information and draw your own conclusions as to what you feel is correct.
> 
> Anyway, ElfinTan murders both of us in the kitchen :lol:


LMAO the garlic fused olive oil is bought from tesco they do a chilli one as well 

and elfinTan does murder both of us mate you are correct.


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## defdaz

Made these a couple of days ago, very nice indeed.


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## rs007

epic ancient thread bump for @M4RCUS

And anyone else who wants my fat tasty balls in their mouth

:lol:


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