# Girlfriend checked my facebook messages....



## nowhereboy (May 22, 2012)

I'm looking for some impartial opinions on my current situation. I live with my girlfriend and her 5 year old little boy, I have done so for best part of a year now. A few months back one of my girlfriends mates told her she knew somebody who worked with me and this person had told her to warn my girlfriend that she should check my phone, she said I'm "not who she thinks I am", that I can't be trusted and that I'm flirting with loads of lasses at work and "up to no good". First things first, there's ZERO truth to this.

My girlfriend bottled this up for a while and didn't tell me while she worked out what to do with the information, eventually I managed to get it our of her as I knew something was wrong and I tried to put her mind at ease the best I could. I asked her to find out which one of my colleagues had told her friend this and her friend would not tell her because this person "doesn't like drama" (some friend eh?). I also handed her my phone, urging her to check my facebook/messages etc so we could put this to bed but she said she wanted to trust me and didn't need to do that.

Fast forward a few months and she's been acting distant, upset and I find myself trying to reassure her all the time. It's now came to light that she since checked my facebook messages a while back without my knowledge. She found messages between me and my ex when we split up (5 year old messages) and in those messages my ex had suggested I was unfaithful and that was the reason she dumped me (the real reason was my ex was cheating and needed an excuse to end things). Anyway this added to my girlfriends concern and I ended up having to read the old messages and re-visit the past to explain exactly what happened.

I wasn't too annoyed about her checking my recent messages as I understand why she would do that given what she was told but to go back 5 years and read my private and rather emabrassing messages is a bit unjustified in my opinion. I didn't make a fuss about it, instead I was happy that I could prove to her I have nothing to hide and thought we could put this to rest but last night she came in upset again and was acting distant. I ended up getting frustrated with her and we sat up arguing, I ended up telling her i was angry about her reading the old messages and she got defensive saying it was justified because of what she was told. She now states she wants some headspace and that I should go stay with my dad for a couple of days to help us stop arguing etc.

I love her but I'm getting a bit tired of all this, I'm worried she will never trust me and that nothing I do will ever be enough for her. I'm not sure if shes acting reasonably or if this is getting a bit silly now and I want some other opinions from people who don't know either of us.


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## JonnyBoy81 (Jun 26, 2013)




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## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

No trust = no relationship.


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## mrwright (Oct 22, 2013)

No doubt shes cheating or will be

Fck her off


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## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Quite simply mate despite no "evidence" she still doesn't trust you.


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## marcusmaximus (Jan 7, 2014)

IMO, she shouldn't have read your messages and the messages she did read do not sound bad at all. I've an ex girlfriend who'd likely say something similar even though she'd do the same herself.

5 years ago is such a long time as well, I think she's over reacting - any space you give her should bring to light how silly she's being, and provides she talks to more than her one odd friend I'm sure anybody with half a brain would back you up.

I wouldn't worry, but I'd personally abide by what shes saying and go to your dads, let her have time to reflect on it if all you're doing is arguing whilst you're there.

That being said, all my opinion, and for the most part my relationships have been disasters so far :lol:


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## Kloob (Jun 3, 2012)

if there isn't trust, there is nothing.

She broke trust by checking your phone behind your back. Get rid.

ditch her and move on.


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## marcusmaximus (Jan 7, 2014)

mrwright said:


> No doubt shes cheating or will be
> 
> Fck her off


Also would say it sounds a bit suss to me. Could be an excuse!


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## vtec_yo (Nov 30, 2011)

Read hers.

You'll probably have reason to leave her then.


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## Waffle (May 12, 2015)

She shouldn't of needed to go through your messages your word should of been enough. Banzi has it spot on.

Unless she was looking for an escape route. This friend and her friend.. Blah blah.. All sounds a bit shifty.

Bitches will come up with anything then actually tell the truth and accept responsibility.

I say move out, focus on training, work, family and your mates.


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## Varg (May 17, 2010)

If she believes her friends rather than trust you I'm not sure what you can do to be honest.

It isn't your job to fix her paranoia. She's read your messages and knows there's nothing going on, so she's worried about something that your ex said was going on - again no evidence so taking an ex's word over yours.

Doesn't look good.

She needs to back down, apologise and start trusting you or it's over.


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Her paranoia will lead to her cheating on you, with the justification that you've already betrayed her in some way.

Ps. Why keep 5yr old messages from an ex anyway?


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## mrwright (Oct 22, 2013)

marcusmaximus said:


> Also would say it sounds a bit suss to me. Could be an excuse!


Sounds like OP is dating my ex lol


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## GreatPretender (Oct 17, 2012)

someone who doesnt trust you with no good reason, usually means they cant trust themselves - ie, theres a reason you shouldnt be trusting them.

I'd finish it, but thats easy for us to say.


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Once the trust has gone it'll never be the same again.

Been there, done that, won't work.


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## andyboro (Oct 1, 2006)

mrwright said:


> No doubt shes cheating or will be
> 
> Fck her off


Id have probably put it more eloquently... but this ^

people judge others by their own standards.

there's also a fair chance that she just made up all of the 'friend at work' bull to justify her thinking.


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## ILLBehaviour (Dec 20, 2014)

sounds like you've been really reasonable to be honest and done as much as you can do.

She is obviously insecure and has trust issues which will (and possibly have) lead to a breakdown in your relationship, these things imo need addressing before things go any further. It really doesn't say much if you've been together for a year and she believes some second hand information from her mate over your word.

Thinking about it , it could even just be some bull**** that her mate made up.


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## Jay2110 (Jan 18, 2015)

Stupid mate. She's got no reason to not trust you and still she doesn't. 5years ago has been explained and still no luck?... Why bother


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## AlexB18 (Dec 10, 2013)

I wouldnt go as far as to say she doesnt trust you, its easier than people think for someone to be told something and for that idea to start spreading in your head to the point where you question those closest to you, reading that it honestly just sounds as though people are **** stirring because their lives are a bit boring, end of the day if she didnt think it before someone suggested this then that to me says she does trust you, she just let someone elses suggestion get inside her head a bit too much. Just my opinion anyway.


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## marcusmaximus (Jan 7, 2014)

mrwright said:


> Sounds like OP is dating my ex lol


lol and mine


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

Only one thing for it, phone this fella and take a lie detector test










Seriously though, sounds like the trust has gone to me and that is very hard if not impossible to recover from.


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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

So in summary, she chooses to believe gossip over you, she's invaded your privacy and breached your trust by snooping on your private messages and now she's effectively booted you out, albeit supposedly temporarily, making it clear that it is her home and not yours as a couple. You want to settle for a relationship with someone like that good luck to you. For the record, I would give the exact same feedback if the sexes were the other way around.


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## Dan94 (Dec 29, 2013)

vtec_yo said:


> Read hers.
> 
> You'll probably have reason to leave her then.


This


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## nowhereboy (May 22, 2012)

Cheers for the insight lads. I don't think for one minute she is cheating on me, I understand why people might make that assumption but I actually trust her 100%. I highly doubt she's looking for a reason to end things with me either, she's been trying to get over this and is constantly telling me how much she loves me etc.

I feel like I need to mention something that happened when we first got together so her side of the story is understood a bit more. I play in a band and at first i found it hard going from a pretty hectic lifestyle with booze and other "mood enhancers" to a quiet family life and one night ended up taking a very small amount of something and tried to hide it from her but she found out. Up until then she had no issues with trust and I was 100% in the wrong hiding it from her. It happened because she had been really stressed out and moody because of issues with her child and I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the situation and needed to enjoy myself and de-stress. It's worth a mention that we had made an agreement that a little bit of stuff once in a blue moon when out together is ok but doing it apart from each other is not.


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## nitricdave (Dec 12, 2014)




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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

nowhereboy said:


> Cheers for the insight lads. I don't think for one minute she is cheating on me, I understand why people might make that assumption but I actually trust her 100%. I highly doubt she's looking for a reason to end things with me either, she's been trying to get over this and is constantly telling me how much she loves me etc.
> 
> I feel like I need to mention something that happened when we first got together so her side of the story is understood a bit more. I play in a band and at first i found it hard going from a pretty hectic lifestyle with booze and other "mood enhancers" to a quiet family life and one night ended up taking a very small amount of something and tried to hide it from her but she found out. Up until then she had no issues with trust and I was 100% in the wrong hiding it from her. It happened because she had been really stressed out and moody because of issues with her child and I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the situation and needed to enjoy myself and de-stress. It's worth a mention that we had made an agreement that a little bit of stuff once in a blue moon when out together is ok but doing it apart from each other is not.


To me that's all irrelevant. Making mistakes is a fact of life in a relationship. When they happen you either decide you can't forgive and end it or you forgive and move on. What's not acceptable to use past mistakes as justification for future unreasonable behaviour. All that said, it seems clear that you are wanting to tolerate her behaviour and just suffer the consequences. That's your choice but what exactly are you hoping to achieve by running it past UK-M? You've made your mind up so just get on with what you're going to do anyway rather than looking for validation.


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

mrwright said:


> Sounds like OP is dating my ex lol


i think OP said gf not bf


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## BLUE(UK) (Jan 9, 2008)

I'm going to go the other way and say work on this relationship so that no-one else has to go through what's happening here.


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

nowhereboy said:


> Cheers for the insight lads. I don't think for one minute she is cheating on me, I understand why people might make that assumption but I actually trust her 100%. I highly doubt she's looking for a reason to end things with me either, she's been trying to get over this and is constantly telling me how much she loves me etc.
> 
> I feel like I need to mention something that happened when we first got together so her side of the story is understood a bit more. I play in a band and at first i found it hard going from a pretty hectic lifestyle with booze and other "mood enhancers" to a quiet family life and one night ended up taking a very small amount of something and tried to hide it from her but she found out. Up until then she had no issues with trust and I was 100% in the wrong hiding it from her. It happened because she had been really stressed out and moody because of issues with her child and I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the situation and needed to enjoy myself and de-stress. It's worth a mention that we had made an agreement that a little bit of stuff once in a blue moon when out together is ok but doing it apart from each other is not.


challenge her to an MMA fight

no gloves

octagon on fire


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

Heavyassweights said:


> challenge her to an MMA fight
> 
> no gloves
> 
> octagon on fire


Two men enter, one man leaves....

Two men enter, one man leaves....

Two men enter, one man leaves....

Two men enter, one man leaves....

Two men enter, one man leaves....

Two men enter, one man leaves....


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## Fortunatus (Apr 12, 2013)

My girlfriend went through a stage like this, funniest story actually,

my girlfriend looked on my phone and saw I had text someone called "Charlie" along the lines off "yeah i'll meet you soon xx" "where do you wanna meet xx" "you about xx" she brought it up to me, "who the fvck is this Charlie girl" going mental for a hour or so I just denied it, told her Charlie was a close friend, rung the number on loud speaker with her there and a geezer answers was hilarious

Charlie aka coke aka my dealer haha was brilliant she's trusted me ever since but I didn't let her live it down for a while


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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

Gary29 said:


> Two men enter, one man leaves....
> 
> Two men enter, one man leaves....
> 
> ...


Is that not a spit roast?


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## andyboro (Oct 1, 2006)

nowhereboy said:


> Cheers for the insight lads. I don't think for one minute she is cheating on me, I understand why people might make that assumption but I actually trust her 100%. I highly doubt she's looking for a reason to end things with me either, she's been trying to get over this and is constantly telling me how much she loves me etc.
> 
> I feel like I need to mention something that happened when we first got together so her side of the story is understood a bit more. I play in a band and at first i found it hard going from a pretty hectic lifestyle with booze and other "mood enhancers" to a quiet family life and one night ended up taking a very small amount of something and tried to hide it from her but she found out. Up until then she had no issues with trust and I was 100% in the wrong hiding it from her. It happened because she had been really stressed out and moody because of issues with her child and I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the situation and needed to enjoy myself and de-stress. It's worth a mention that we had made an agreement that a little bit of stuff once in a blue moon when out together is ok but doing it apart from each other is not.


tbh mate, unless that ended with 'i had hidden a woman under the bed to bang when she wasnt looking' then its not really relevant to her believing that you're messing around because a friend that she wont name said so. . thats a whole different kind of distrust.

it sounds a little like you're spending a lot of your time explaining/justifying your actions and on the back foot in the relationship?

some women will use this as a tool for control.

and if thats the case, would you be happy to spend all of your days looking over your shoulder and apologizing?


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## Marvin Monkey (Nov 6, 2014)

Ian_Montrose said:


> So in summary, she chooses to believe gossip over you, she's invaded your privacy and breached your trust by snooping on your private messages and now she's effectively booted you out, albeit supposedly temporarily, making it clear that it is her home and not yours as a couple. You want to settle for a relationship with someone like that good luck to you. For the record, I would give the exact same feedback if the sexes were the other way around.


This^^^^^



Ian_Montrose said:


> To me that's all irrelevant. Making mistakes is a fact of life in a relationship. When they happen you either decide you can't forgive and end it or you forgive and move on. What's not acceptable to use past mistakes as justification for future unreasonable behaviour. All that said, it seems clear that you are wanting to tolerate her behaviour and just suffer the consequences. That's your choice but what exactly are you hoping to achieve by running it past UK-M? You've made your mind up so just get on with what you're going to do anyway rather than looking for validation.


And this^^^^

It's finished mate, flog a dead horse if you want but her mind is made up, you mean practically nothing to her given the way she's behaved. Walk away with your head held high.

p.s. as someone else said looking for an excuse to bin you, guilty thinks as guilty does. i.e she's probably the one who's cheated or cheating!


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## TheScam (Apr 30, 2013)

Ian_Montrose said:


> To me that's all irrelevant. Making mistakes is a fact of life in a relationship. When they happen you either decide you can't forgive and end it or you forgive and move on. What's not acceptable to use past mistakes as justification for future unreasonable behaviour. All that said, it seems clear that you are wanting to tolerate her behaviour and just suffer the consequences. That's your choice but what exactly are you hoping to achieve by running it past UK-M? You've made your mind up so just get on with what you're going to do anyway rather than looking for validation.


This. It's not even relevant to your current situation.

She shouldn't be going through 5-year old messages, the past is the past and has no bearing on your current relationship.

It does sound like she's making excuses / trying to find a justification for something shes done. I'd ask her if she'd be as willing as you were to share FB messages.

I'd be annoyed about the work colleague thing as well, it would really get to me knowing there's someone I work with trying to cause me hassle and not knowing who you can trust. Any idea who it could be, anyone you've ****ed off or someone that likes you and wants you single?!


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## richardrahl (Nov 19, 2007)

So many people always pipe up with the 'no relationship without trust' lines and I have to disagree. I've been with my lass for 17 1/2 yrs and we're the very best of mates, 2 great sons, enjoy spending time together more than ever (in and out of bed). We've always had a 'connection' that I fail to see in my mate's relationships.

But.... Do I trust her? Nope. There's not a person on the planet that I trust totally. Haha.

Can't just be me, can it? Some of you guys must be the same.

Inb4 the usual...

Picsornowife - been posted on here before

Shesgettingbangedelsewhere - don't care

Coolstorybro... etc etc.


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

richardrahl said:


> So many people always pipe up with the 'no relationship without trust' lines and I have to disagree. I've been with my lass for 17 1/2 yrs and we're the very best of mates, 2 great sons, enjoy spending time together more than ever (in and out of bed). We've always had a 'connection' that I fail to see in my mate's relationships.
> 
> But.... Do I trust her? Nope. There's not a person on the planet that I trust totally. Haha.
> 
> ...


yourmumisyourwife?


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## richardrahl (Nov 19, 2007)

Heavyassweights said:


> yourmumisyourwife?


I wouldn't complain, my mum is fcuking filthy! :thumb:

Picsornofilthymum - leave it with me.


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## Marvin Monkey (Nov 6, 2014)

Heavyassweights said:


> i think OP said gf not bf


you jealous? :whistling:


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## Waffle (May 12, 2015)

richardrahl said:


> So many people always pipe up with the 'no relationship without trust' lines and I have to disagree. I've been with my lass for 17 1/2 yrs and we're the very best of mates, 2 great sons, enjoy spending time together more than ever (in and out of bed). We've always had a 'connection' that I fail to see in my mate's relationships.
> 
> But.... Do I trust her? Nope. There's not a person on the planet that I trust totally. Haha.
> 
> ...


I kinda agree with this to a degree. I dont trust any ****er tbh and the closer they are to you (Family, friends gf etc) the more cautious i am. Only them that means something to you can really have an impact on your life.

With that said the way his GF has acted is out of order. Marvin monkey is right, she doesn't care much for him much at all.

Your gripping on to something that's now hollow and tbh id be suspicious of her activity behind closed doors. You if you do move back in you will be a door mat and everything she says will have to be final. Be a man and take control of the situation, she has probably just lost interest.


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## nitricdave (Dec 12, 2014)

richardrahl said:


> But.... Do I trust her? Nope.


Do you need to reassure each other frequently that your not getting a bit on the side ?


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

richardrahl said:


> So many people always pipe up with the 'no relationship without trust' lines and I have to disagree. I've been with my lass for 17 1/2 yrs and we're the very best of mates, 2 great sons, enjoy spending time together more than ever (in and out of bed). We've always had a 'connection' that I fail to see in my mate's relationships.
> 
> But.... Do I trust her? Nope. There's not a person on the planet that I trust totally. Haha.
> 
> ...


same here , me and my mrs dont trust eachother , i cant like a females pic on fb without her blowing up and accusing me of poking every female friend on fb :lol:


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## jacksong (Aug 25, 2010)

I have never been the type to have a lock on my phone, neither is my partner.. I've caught her a few time on my phone ect.. Never bothered me in the slightest. Have a looked at her phone.. Of course.. I have to agree with "richardrahl" I don't fully trust anyone.. But i'll be honest always had the attitude if she cheats.. Theres always someone else. Not going to spend everyday worrying.


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## Dr Longrod (Apr 28, 2015)

Women are nuts.

The end


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

Marvin Monkey said:


> you jealous? :whistling:


my women isn't allowed a phone, keep it simple


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## BigKid (Apr 4, 2014)

If all this drama has been caused by some meddling cvnt then the relationship itself clearly isn't that strong and was headed for something sooner or later imo


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

BigKid said:


> If all this drama has been caused by some meddling cvnt then the relationship itself clearly isn't that strong and was headed for something sooner or later imo


Exactly


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## ILLBehaviour (Dec 20, 2014)

i still can't get my head round the fact that you did no wrong and she's still kicked you out.

Imagine what she'll do when you are in the wrong.


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## Total Rebuild (Sep 9, 2009)

If you're going to leave then leave, but just put it out there that if she's going to throw you out of your home on nothing more than a vague accusation from someone she's never even met, then once you do leave you'll be thinking long and hard about ever coming back.

As others have said I think she's milking this, probably enjoying having you fawning all over her and trying to 'prove' how much you love her. All sounds very childish.


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## Total Rebuild (Sep 9, 2009)

Childish on her part I'd add. Not yours.


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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

Heavyassweights said:


> my women isn't allowed a phone, keep it simple


She wouldn't get a mobile signal in the cellar anyway so what's the point


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## Heavyassweights (Jan 18, 2014)

Ian_Montrose said:


> She wouldn't get a mobile signal in the cellar anyway so what's the point


lol sick man


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## E46GTR (Apr 28, 2015)

Sounds like she's just trying to find any excuse. You're better off without IMO. Less baggage for you as well.


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## Marvin Monkey (Nov 6, 2014)

Heavyassweights said:


> my women isn't allowed a phone, keep it simple


damn right! haha

@nowhereboy

The UK-M board has passed judgement, bin the harlot now! ...before you're in floods of tears on FB to your mates :crying: :crying: :crying:

DO IT!


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## Alan (Jun 30, 2003)

You're too soft.

Her taking into consideration a ex's message at break up point where people are most irrational. To me your lass sounds like a drama queen, desperate to be a victim and in the end she's clutching at straws to find something against you.

IMO it is extremely disrespectful and uncalled for to go into your messages. Add to this she's got a kid from someone else...please give me one reason why you're still around?

Pack your **** and leave...don't waste your life.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Oh dear...always HER fault....pfffftttttt

If u gave her access to look at ur messages on fb what world do u live in if u thought she would just look at this years!!!! Women are always intrigued to know more if u said have a look at my messages u can't say but don't go bk 5 years u should just accept she's going to want to know everything. ..u admit u did lie in the early days so it might be why she looked at earlier messages.

In ur defense though I think like most women do she's got whatever that person said stuck in her head and yes whilst she should listen to u not others u have lied previously and she's added that to the doubts in her head and got stuck in that cycle of 'he's lied before it must be true' I don't think she did wrong looking back 5 years but I agree it sounds like she wasn't that happy with u anyway to go to those extremes of kicking u out.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Alan said:


> You're too soft.
> 
> Her taking into consideration a ex's message at break up point where people are most irrational. To me your lass sounds like a drama queen, desperate to be a victim and in the end she's clutching at straws to find something against you.
> 
> ...


He gave her permission to look at messages there was no limit to how far back she could go.

Add to this she has a kid.....why is that a negative? Just coz it's someone else's child means nothing the op may well be the best thing that could ever happen to the child did u think about that?


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## Kloob (Jun 3, 2012)

Skye666 said:


> Oh dear...always HER fault....pfffftttttt
> 
> If u gave her access to look at ur messages on fb what world do u live in if u thought she would just look at this years!!!! Women are always intrigued to know more if u said have a look at my messages u can't say but don't go bk 5 years u should just accept she's going to want to know everything. ..u admit u did lie in the early days so it might be why she looked at earlier messages.
> 
> In ur defense though I think like most women do she's got whatever that person said stuck in her head and yes whilst she should listen to u not others u have lied previously and she's added that to the doubts in her head and got stuck in that cycle of 'he's lied before it must be true' I don't think she did wrong looking back 5 years but I agree it sounds like she wasn't that happy with u anyway to go to those extremes of kicking u out.


Nothing about this is ok.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Dr Longrod said:


> Women are nuts.
> 
> The end


Says he who calls himself 'long rod' and a Dr...rather be nuts than a double liar :whistling:


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Kloob said:


> Nothing about this is ok.


Only if u had something to hide.


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## marcusmaximus (Jan 7, 2014)

Kloob said:


> Nothing about this is ok.


Have to agree, OP could have been showing merit of trust, just because he gave her permission does it mean she should? Agree with you on not happy anyways Skye, but that could be a product of her paranoia, solely induced by her mate....

Or she could just be lying and looking for an excuse. Difficult one!!


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## Mhoon (May 29, 2014)

OP is in a lose-lose situation immediately after being asked if she can check his FB messages.

Game over after that, if he had said no then it looks like you're lying and obviously the consequences of letting her look at them are documented already.

IMO, if you have somewhere else to stay then stay there and let her stew on the fact she's being incredibly daft. We've all been stupid in a relationship at some point over things from the past so hopefully she realises her mistake, not yours. :thumbup1:


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## Kloob (Jun 3, 2012)

Skye666 said:


> Only if u had something to hide.


not at all. this is completely irrational behaviour and there isn't an excuse for it. To go back to messages from 5 years ago and to then cause arguments over them is completely unacceptable.

I get you are trying to stand up for women. But it does not take common sense or decency away from it.

You always find, the ones that are most suspicious and doing stuff like that are the ones that have something to hide.

OP needs to get rid. end of.


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## GingerStrength (May 14, 2015)

Time is the greatest healer mate give it Afew month if she still distant with you then get gone


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## SCOOT123 (Jul 12, 2013)

vtec_yo said:


> Read hers.
> 
> You'll probably have reason to leave her then.


100% ^^^^^^^^^^^


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## SILV3RBACK (Jun 23, 2012)

She will never trust you since she's been told all about you from one of her friends.

Ask to look at her messages. Bet that will stir up a hornets nest?


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## richardrahl (Nov 19, 2007)

nitricdave said:


> Do you need to reassure each other frequently that your not getting a bit on the side ?


Nope. Not at all.


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## richardrahl (Nov 19, 2007)

MRSTRONG said:


> same here , me and my mrs dont trust eachother , i cant like a females pic on fb without her blowing up and accusing me of poking every female friend on fb :lol:


Kind of glad it's not just me, bud. Not that I'd be fcuking changing if it was. Haha.

I've got mates that trust their partners implicitly and vice versa, yet they always moan about no sex, mrs is boring, mrs moans, bloke's lazy and does nothing with the kids etc. But hey, they trust eachother. :laugh:

I have NONE of the above in my relationship. We're both brilliant parents and never b1tch about eachother. So for people to say you've got nothing without trust is a load of old sh1te


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## Alan (Jun 30, 2003)

Skye666 said:


> He gave her permission to look at messages there was no limit to how far back she could go.
> 
> Add to this she has a kid.....why is that a negative? Just coz it's someone else's child means nothing the op may well be the best thing that could ever happen to the child did u think about that?


You mean gave in to the pressure? She accused him of (currently/recently) doing things whilst *still together*...IMO this is abuse of trust.

As for the kid...call me a selfish asshole but I would never get into a relationship with someone with a child...I dated someone I really liked for a few months who had a child, but just couldn't cross that bridge and move onto a more serious stage.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Kloob said:


> not at all. this is completely irrational behaviour and there isn't an excuse for it. To go back to messages from 5 years ago and to then cause arguments over them is completely unacceptable.
> 
> I get you are trying to stand up for women. But it does not take common sense or decency away from it.
> 
> ...


Don't jump on a bandwagon..I'm not sticking up for women tbh I'm just putting myself in her shoes as a Man U want to assume I'm sticking up for her. I doubt she actually thought right let's go back to when he was with the ex..she's just got intrigued and it's happened I think u are the dumb one if u think...anyone (male or female) sits on a comp looks through messages and oh when they get to year x stop?? She just went through looking because let me remind u seen as y'all forgot HE LIED IN THE VERY BEGINNING...she hasn't forgotten that, not saying it's right I'm telling u. How it can happen easily.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

SILV3RBACK said:


> She will never trust you since she's been told all about you from one of her friends.
> 
> Ask to look at her messages. Bet that will stir up a hornets nest?


Or...she may say...iv no problem with that even if u want to go back to year dot.


----------



## Waffle (May 12, 2015)

Skye666 said:


> Don't jump on a bandwagon..I'm not sticking up for women tbh I'm just putting myself in her shoes as a Man U want to assume I'm sticking up for her. I doubt she actually thought right let's go back to when he was with the ex..she's just got intrigued and it's happened I think u are the dumb one if u think...anyone (male or female) sits on a comp looks through messages and oh when they get to year x stop?? She just went through looking because let me remind u seen as y'all forgot HE LIED IN THE VERY BEGINNING...she hasn't forgotten that, not saying it's right I'm telling u. How it can happen easily.


Giving this women justification for what she has done is nonsense. She has kicked this lad out after a year of living with him over Chinese whispers from someone she doesn't even know. Regardless of the hiding of coke when they first got together its unacceptable.


----------



## GCMAX (Dec 31, 2013)

You're taking this very lightly pal, if it were me I would find out who it was and get your gf to invite him over to a party at your place telling him your not there. Then get him to confess his lies about you then bust the utter sh1t out of his face. I seriously couldn't have it any other way, no man should mess with your relationship and get away with it.


----------



## IronJohnDoe (Oct 17, 2013)

I simply think that if all of this situation is born from rumours that she heard from a third party then in my opinion she should not be the person that you want beside you.

If someone would tell the same things to my wife she would simply tell her friend to go fVck herself and that she simply trust her husband and no rumours will make her doubt about the person that she loves. (and to be fair something similar happened to us and she stayed beside me without doubting me not even for a second, now, this is love)

I am sorry to be bold with you, but I believe that if there is no trust is better cut it before it get worst, specially after absence of evidences she still does not trust you and this is something I would really think over if I was you.

Best of luck with this situation mate. Hope all will go for the best for you.


----------



## happygorila (Apr 29, 2015)

Hard to move on when both have feelings theres a sort of desensitisation process that u need to go through to get used to the idea of being alone and not haveing a person your used to being there


----------



## Kloob (Jun 3, 2012)

Skye666 said:


> Don't jump on a bandwagon..I'm not sticking up for women tbh I'm just putting myself in her shoes as a Man U want to assume I'm sticking up for her. I doubt she actually thought right let's go back to when he was with the ex..she's just got intrigued and it's happened I think u are the dumb one if u think...anyone (male or female) sits on a comp looks through messages and oh when they get to year x stop?? She just went through looking because let me remind u seen as y'all forgot HE LIED IN THE VERY BEGINNING...she hasn't forgotten that, not saying it's right I'm telling u. How it can happen easily.


A few points:

1) it was my opinion, so there really isn't a bandwagon

2) the fact she's looking through his messages is bad enough. But surely rationality and common sense must prevail when you get to 5 YEARS ago. Surely you'd get to a point and think 'this is completely irrelevant now.'

3) she has taken something 5 years old and rationalised it into a 'relevant" argument to have and to some severity.

None of the above is rational or normal behaviour and if you think it is justifiable then that is laughable completely. Yes, he lied at the start but she stuck with him so clearly chose to forgive him. It should have been left at the beginning.

None of the behaviour is acceptable or excusable, no matter how it's justified.


----------



## b0t13 (Jan 3, 2013)

Kloob said:


> A few points:
> 
> 1) it was my opinion, so there really isn't a bandwagon
> 
> ...


Lol, no women is rational or normal.....

I'd move out and wait for her to start apologising before moving back in,

She's in the wrong and you've proven that it's all bullsh1t, she's the one who should be chasing now for doubting you,

Don't keep trying to prove yourself as you don't need too anymore!


----------



## Irish Beast (Jun 16, 2009)

Tis a bad one with Facebook. Can be having harmless conversations with another girl. Sometimes the old flirty / sexual reference can arise (depending on the friend). Then there is out and out cheating via messages.

I talk to a friend of mine who I used to have a sexual connection to all the time and she is sitting with her husband on the couch and we joke about old times etc but its completely innocent. However it could look different if a GF has suspicions and looks into your messages and reads too deeply into them. Not saying anyone is innocent or not. I would not read a partners messages unless I was concerned for their safety or if something was seriously wrong. Sometimes its good to blow of steam to a friend of FB, male or female but to a 3rd party it may or may not loook very bad.

I am using FB as little as possible these days., Its the devil


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## garethd93 (Nov 28, 2014)

to put it bluntly and from my point of view.

She doesn't want to be with you any more and is looking for an excuse to kick you out. Let's face it, your a bloke, when you think everything is going alright in the relationship the woman throws a spanner in the works. she probably wants an excuse to make you look like the bad one so she can throw you out.

walk away mate before it gets any worse, trust me.


----------



## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

garethd93 said:


> to put it bluntly and from my point of view.
> 
> She doesn't want to be with you any more and is looking for an excuse to kick you out. Let's face it, your a bloke, when you think everything is going alright in the relationship the woman throws a spanner in the works. she probably wants an excuse to make you look like the bad one so she can throw you out.
> 
> *walk away mate before it gets any worse, trust me*.


dont take the kid, it might get messy.


----------



## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

banzi said:


> dont take the kid, it might get messy.


Kids have a habit of doing that.


----------



## Plate (May 14, 2015)

If it's this bad now, just imagine how it will be when you marry! Not being a d*ck or anything but woman wait till the ring is on till they let go and show how nuts they are, a lot of drama and you aren't even locked down yet.. Hope this helps :wacko:


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## jackdaw (Jun 18, 2014)

Get rid of her.


----------



## nowhereboy (May 22, 2012)

Thanks for such a good response everyone. Sat reading through this thread last night and it's helped me realize a lot.

I didn't end up stoping out for the night, I stayed with my mate for a while and came home later. I gave her the option to leave me now if she no longer wants this, I told her I felt like she was creating this whole thing for an excuse to leave me. She got upset and assured me that isn't the case (she also reminded me shes just paid a deposit on a holiday for next year for us). She told me she gets to frustrated when arguing that she can't see logicaly and she wanted the time alone to help get it straight in her head.

We've agreed to wipe the slate clean and start a fresh but I've made a decision that if this behaviour continues I will not be appologising and letting her play the victim. I love her but I will have to leave her if this happens again because it's exhausting.

She does so many nice things for me and 90% of the time is an intelligent, rational, kind and loving person so it has my head all over the place trying to work her out when she goes off on one.


----------



## Waffle (May 12, 2015)

Good luck mate hope it works out for you!


----------



## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

nowhereboy said:


> Thanks for such a good response everyone. Sat reading through this thread last night and it's helped me realize a lot.
> 
> I didn't end up stoping out for the night, I stayed with my mate for a while and came home later. I gave her the option to leave me now if she no longer wants this, I told her I felt like she was creating this whole thing for an excuse to leave me. She got upset and assured me that isn't the case (she also reminded me shes just paid a deposit on a holiday for next year for us). She told me she gets to frustrated when arguing that she can't see logicaly and she wanted the time alone to help get it straight in her head.
> 
> ...


You will never get to the bottom of how a womans mind works.

A friend of mine happily married (so he thought) with 2 young kids suddenly gets told by his wife she wants him out and a divorce.

He says OK then if thats how you feel , he moves out and she then contacts him saying why are you not prepared to fight for our relationship????

Tis a conundrum.


----------



## happygorila (Apr 29, 2015)

Im In a relationship if u can call it that 5 years got a 2 yr old living seperate for 3 months before lived in a joint tenancy for 4 years

u say wipe the slate clean heard that 20 times or more ive been persecuted for things i havnt done cheeting wise subsequently things I have said nasty hurtfull things well who wouldnt having such a **** unloving partner whos only happy goin on lovely expensive holidays abroad the happiness never lasts and you always go back to the same topic i.e for u it will be about what you have sid about

The more **** she feels she will bring it up more and more then its normal to bring it up and she may even become such a bitter person and start becoming nasty towards u and use u as the reason well thats how it is for me now

naive women on facebook who listen to others they got too much time on there hand and controll freaks


----------



## havering (May 14, 2013)

I think some people are actually frightened of not being in a relationship, they hop straight out from one into another and it's just the same every time. I can barely put up with my own bull---- at times let alone someone's else and the fact I'm very blunt. I find it bad enough going down the pub after work and people whinging about trivial work matters.


----------



## banjodeano (Jan 9, 2011)

nowhereboy said:


> I'm looking for some impartial opinions on my current situation. I live with my girlfriend and her 5 year old little boy, I have done so for best part of a year now. A few months back one of my girlfriends mates told her she knew somebody who worked with me and this person had told her to warn my girlfriend that she should check my phone, she said I'm "not who she thinks I am", that I can't be trusted and that I'm flirting with loads of lasses at work and "up to no good". First things first, there's ZERO truth to this.
> 
> My girlfriend bottled this up for a while and didn't tell me while she worked out what to do with the information, eventually I managed to get it our of her as I knew something was wrong and I tried to put her mind at ease the best I could. I asked her to find out which one of my colleagues had told her friend this and her friend would not tell her because this person "doesn't like drama" (some friend eh?). I also handed her my phone, urging her to check my facebook/messages etc so we could put this to bed but she said she wanted to trust me and didn't need to do that.
> 
> ...


foook me, what will it be like if you actually do anything wrong..she sounds insecure, if you explained it to her like you did to us, then that should be the end of it....


----------



## jake87 (May 7, 2010)

Love these threads you get pages upon pages of the same advice and the op either never replies or ignores all advice and red flags and carry on in miserable existence

Edit? Just seen op reply. Makes a change!


----------



## welshman (May 22, 2008)

When someone is paranoid that their partner is cheating on them (especially with no evidence) it's usually because they've been cheating themselves and are judging you by their own standards.


----------



## Varg (May 17, 2010)

welshman said:


> When someone is paranoid that their partner is cheating on them (especially with no evidence) it's usually because they've been cheating themselves and are judging you by their own standards.


It's called projecting.

Doesn't necessarily mean they are cheating, but means they are probably the type who would or have in the past.


----------



## Mhoon (May 29, 2014)

banzi said:


> You will never get to the bottom of how a womans mind works.
> 
> A friend of mine happily married (so he thought) with 2 young kids suddenly gets told by his wife she wants him out and a divorce.
> 
> ...


I blame that Loose Women prog and things like that. Suffragettes too.


----------



## nowhereboy (May 22, 2012)

jake87 said:


> Love these threads you get pages upon pages of the same advice and the op either never replies or ignores all advice and red flags and carry on in miserable existence
> 
> Edit? Just seen op reply. Makes a change!


Yea I'm still here! Actually taken on board a lot of what people have been saying here. It's helped me realize I'm not to blame for all this and that I'm not going to hang around if she continues in this way. I just read a very interesting artice about "playing the victim" and realized this is exactly what she is doing. I intend on calling her out for it if this happens again. Such a shae because aside from this we are really good for each other and despite what people have said I trust her 100%. I just can't go on being made to feel like I'm always in the wrong.


----------



## Prince Adam (Mar 17, 2012)

Yep as above I hate Face book.

I'd come off BUT it's handy for group events with the lads.


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## Plate (May 14, 2015)

Facebook went when I married.. Along with my freedom and Genitals


----------



## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

Gimme a shout if you need her taken up the pig farm.


----------



## Waffle (May 12, 2015)

IGotTekkers said:


> Gimme a shout if you need her taken up the pig farm.


So its that sort of "bits and bobs" you do..


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

denbec said:


> *I totally hate Facebook , it's caused me do much trouble over the last few years ( **mainly my own fault **)* reading this post as just made me paranoids about my own girlfriend lol , hope it works out for you mate and in my opionon just delete everything from your FB and start a fresh or just delete the account all together


And here lies the problem, it's actually you not a web page that you post content on to yourself. :lol:

I really don't get the Facebook hate, the only people that hate it are the ones who have done wrong and been caught out by it from their own stupidity. :laugh:


----------



## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

I deleted my fb after a break up with a girl with whom we shared a lot of mutual friends, best thing I ever did. I never caused any grief on there by messaging girls or anything, but other people can stir **** up for you on there, it's easier just not to have an account and live life without the hassle and playground gossip.


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Gary29 said:


> I deleted my fb after a break up with a girl with whom we shared a lot of mutual friends, best thing I ever did. I never caused any grief on there by messaging girls or anything, *but other people can stir **** up for you on there,* it's easier just not to have an account and live life without the hassle and playground gossip.


How's that?

If you don't interact with them on there or post stuff how can they affect your life any more than saying something to someone face to face?

It's just a website, Facebook don't try and ruin your life do they.


----------



## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

Waffle said:


> So its that sort of "bits and bobs" you do..


Haha not me, im a nice boy, but my black sheep skins arnt :lol:


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Waffle said:


> Giving this women justification for what she has done is nonsense. She has kicked this lad out after a year of living with him over Chinese whispers from someone she doesn't even know. Regardless of the hiding of coke when they first got together its unacceptable.


Well U can't disregard one thing over another and only look at facts YOU pick and choose. HE LIED EARLY ON SO SHE HAS THAT IN HER MIND. U can't just say forget that bit and jump to the fact she's a bitch for chucking him out lol...durrrrrr


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

banzi said:


> You will never get to the bottom of how a womans mind works.
> 
> A friend of mine happily married (so he thought) with 2 young kids suddenly gets told by his wife she wants him out and a divorce.
> 
> ...


Oh this ones easy....he's not given her any attention for years...he may think he has but really he hasn't so she's tested the water if he dosnt want to be kicked out he will try and stop it happening...he didn't.

See easy when u know how :lol:


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Plate said:


> Facebook went when I married.. Along with my freedom and Genitals


Huh? Where did the genitals go?


----------



## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> Oh this ones easy....he's not given her any attention for years...he may think he has but really he hasn't so she's tested the water if he dosnt want to be kicked out he will try and stop it happening...he didn't.
> 
> See easy when u know how :lol:


mmm

So the answer to her problem isnt to discuss how she feels its ask him to leave because she doesn't love him anymore.

Now, why would anyone want to fight for a woman who didnt love them and wanted them out of the house?

If she didnt want that she shouldnt have played games, now shes a single parent with two kids who has made a pigs ear of her life because she wanted to "test him"

If she loved him why the "test"?


----------



## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> Huh? Where did the genitals go?


they retract automatically at the alter


----------



## Plate (May 14, 2015)

Skye666 said:


> Huh? Where did the genitals go?


I think she keeps them in her purse along with my bank card


----------



## the wee man (Dec 17, 2014)

Plate said:


> I think she keeps them in her purse along with my bank card


fecking brilliant mate :lol:

cheers shaun


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

banzi said:


> mmm
> 
> So the answer to her problem isnt to discuss how she feels its ask him to leave because she doesn't love him anymore.
> 
> ...


You didn't mention love originally....

I'm not saying she's right I'm saying how it seems she saw it...women argue all the time they don't get enough attention in relationships then sometimes act in crazy ways in which to try and regain it back...sometimes to end up in circumstances that are prob worse than they were before.

The truth is tho if we had more women on here voicing their opinion this u might find we too all agree on things u me do all the time ...but alas ..........


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Smitch said:


> And here lies the problem, it's actually you not a web page that you post content on to yourself. :lol:
> 
> I really don't get the Facebook hate, the only people that hate it are the ones who have done wrong and been caught out by it from their own stupidity. :laugh:


Lol...gotta love u.


----------



## Kloob (Jun 3, 2012)

Skye666 said:


> You didn't mention love originally....
> 
> I'm not saying she's right I'm saying how it seems she saw it...women argue all the time they don't get enough attention in relationships then sometimes act in crazy ways in which to try and regain it back...sometimes to end up in circumstances that are prob worse than they were before.
> 
> The truth is tho if we had more women on here voicing their opinion this u might find we too all agree on things u me do all the time ...but alas ..........


You mean like when a dog/puppy sh*ts on the carpet to get attention? Or how a child throws a tantrum for attention?


----------



## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> You didn't mention love originally....
> 
> I'm not saying she's right I'm saying how it seems she saw it...women argue all the time they don't get enough attention in relationships then sometimes act in crazy ways in which to try and regain it back...sometimes to end up in circumstances that are prob worse than they were before.
> 
> The truth is tho if we had more women on here voicing their opinion this u might find we too all agree on things u me do all the time ...but alas ..........


Hes better off without her, shame about the kids though.

If she would put him through that just to test him its almost certain she doesnt love him.

Dumb bitch.


----------



## GCMAX (Dec 31, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Huh? Where did the genitals go?


I thought you had them in your feminist purse! :lol:


----------



## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

:confused1:

1) What on earth is she doing out of the kitchen in the first place? :laugh:

2) This friend/co-worker Is either trying to break you up because HE wants to smash your GF.... Or SHE has the hots for you and wants your GF out of the way....!


----------



## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Facebook..... Myspace????? Whats this [email protected] all about??????

I like it best when the Mrs is on the laptop and she gets all confused. She asks me "Are you not going to open an account and come on Myface" :laugh:


----------



## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

Kloob said:


> You mean like when a dog/puppy sh*ts on the carpet to get attention? Or how a child throws a tantrum for attention?


Spot on


----------



## Waffle (May 12, 2015)

Skye666 said:


> Well U can't disregard one thing over another and only look at facts YOU pick and choose. HE LIED EARLY ON SO SHE HAS THAT IN HER MIND. U can't just say forget that bit and jump to the fact she's a bitch for chucking him out lol...durrrrrr


You sound as mad as OPs girlfriend!


----------



## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Everyone knows Skye is a nut case.

If she were let lose on the mumsnet forums there would be havoc up and down the country!


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Kloob said:


> You mean like when a dog/puppy sh*ts on the carpet to get attention? Or how a child throws a tantrum for attention?


I guess so..

So how would u treat those 2 examples...get rid of them?


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

banzi said:


> Hes better off without her, shame about the kids though.
> 
> If she would put him through that just to test him its almost certain she doesnt love him.
> 
> Dumb bitch.


We all test each other in relationships though I don't think it determines if u love someone or not.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

GCMAX said:


> I thought you had them in your feminist purse! :lol:


Hilarious....NOT


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Waffle said:


> You sound as mad as OPs girlfriend!


Einstein, Picasso, Freud and many others were mad....don't be dashing my madness I like being mad.


----------



## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> We all test each other in relationships though I don't think it determines if u love someone or not.


I would never test my Mrs.

There is an old saying about relationships, "the one in control is the one that cares the least"

Not a nice saying but a sobering thought.


----------



## Waffle (May 12, 2015)

Skye666 said:


> Einstein, Picasso, Freud and many others were mad....don't be dashing my madness I like being mad.


Wasnt bashing you just think your making excuses for her.



banzi said:


> I would never test my Mrs.
> 
> There is an old saying about relationships, "the one in control is the one that cares the least"
> 
> Not a nice saying but a sobering thought.


^Spot on!


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

banzi said:


> I would never test my Mrs.
> 
> There is an old saying about relationships, "the one in control is the one that cares the least"
> 
> Not a nice saying but a sobering thought.


U may not now but I would imagine u have both tested at some point in the relationship???


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Waffle said:


> Wasnt bashing you just think your making excuses for her.
> 
> ^Spot on!


Damn...I like a bashing I. Must try harder


----------



## Kloob (Jun 3, 2012)

Skye666 said:


> I guess so..
> 
> So how would u treat those 2 examples...get rid of them?


Principal may be similar but outcomes are different.

If my mrs had shat on the carpet or thrown a tantrum then no, I would not get rid of her.

However if she was stupid and irrational enough to breakdown and question the trust of our relationship; then yes, she would be gone.

Trust is the backbone of a relationship. As soon as its removed, everything falls apart.

Which is why you cannot justify her actions no matter how much you would like to.


----------



## Plate (May 14, 2015)

x2 on the liking bashing comment


----------



## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

nowhereboy said:


> I'm looking for some impartial opinions on my current situation. I live with my girlfriend and her 5 year old little boy, I have done so for best part of a year now. A few months back one of my girlfriends mates told her she knew somebody who worked with me and this person had told her to warn my girlfriend that she should check my phone, she said I'm "not who she thinks I am", that I can't be trusted and that I'm flirting with loads of lasses at work and "up to no good". First things first, there's ZERO truth to this.
> 
> My girlfriend bottled this up for a while and didn't tell me while she worked out what to do with the information, eventually I managed to get it our of her as I knew something was wrong and I tried to put her mind at ease the best I could. I asked her to find out which one of my colleagues had told her friend this and her friend would not tell her because this person "doesn't like drama" (some friend eh?). I also handed her my phone, urging her to check my facebook/messages etc so we could put this to bed but she said she wanted to trust me and didn't need to do that.
> 
> ...


Facebook has a lot to answer for imo LOL.


----------



## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> U may not now but I would imagine u have both tested at some point in the relationship???


Thinking back shes been a bit of a bitch at times, Right, Im not having this, just wait until she gets in, Im packing a case now and telling her its my way or the highway.

PS Do you have a spare room?


----------



## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

RFWC

Burn her as a witch......


----------



## Waffle (May 12, 2015)

Skye666 said:


> Damn...I like a bashing I. Must try harder


Most females love a good bashing!


----------



## GCMAX (Dec 31, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Hilarious....NOT


Despite what you say I will still ogle your profile photos.


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

banzi said:


> Thinking back shes been a bit of a bitch at times, Right, Im not having this, just wait until she gets in, Im packing a case now and telling her its my way or the highway.
> 
> PS Do you have a spare room?


Yes ...but the trick is u don't mean it..just hope she fights for u to stay..in the event she dosnt ..no..but I have a garage :thumbup1:


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

GCMAX said:


> Despite what you say I will still ogle your profile photos.


U mean avatar?


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Waffle said:


> Most females love a good bashing!


So do most men and the bishop


----------



## GCMAX (Dec 31, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> U mean avatar?


You removed your photos


----------



## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

GCMAX said:


> You removed your photos


Ner nerrrrrrr


----------



## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

How does all this relate to the "original" post?


----------



## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> Ner nerrrrrrr


I have them all saved and blown up life size if anyone wants copies.


----------



## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

andyhuggins said:


> How does all this relate to the "original" post?


its called thread drift.


----------



## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

banzi said:


> its called thread drift.


Thanks for that. But I have no idea what you are talking about tbh.


----------



## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

andyhuggins said:


> Thanks for that. But I have no idea what you are talking about tbh.


Its pretty self explanatory, I dont think I can make it any clearer.


----------



## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

banzi said:


> Its pretty self explanatory, I dont think I can make it any clearer.


Yes you could by explaining what thread drift is really?


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## Waffle (May 12, 2015)

andyhuggins said:


> Yes you could by explaining what thread drift is really?


Where the initial subject "drifts" to another subject. Pretty common on UkM.


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## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

Thank you very much for that explanation.


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## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

andyhuggins said:


> Yes you could by explaining what thread drift is really?


Its when threads drift.

Jeez man.,


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## Waffle (May 12, 2015)

banzi said:


> Its when threads drift.
> 
> Jeez man.,


 :lol:


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## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

banzi said:


> Its when threads drift.
> 
> Jeez man.,


 @Waffle explained it you did not tbh.


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## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

banzi said:


> Its when threads drift.
> 
> Jeez man.,


Now now @banzi calm down.


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

I love you @Skye666


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

banzi said:


> I have them all saved and blown up life size if anyone wants copies.


Fill ya sheets 

( perv)


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Gary29 said:


> I love you [MENTION=83894]Skye666[/
> 
> Look at u coming at me with ur good mood .... Some days u don't so I'm not accepting this love Gary ur fickle :whistling:


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

andyhuggins said:


> Thank you very much for that explanation.


Back on track....has ur mrs ever checked ur fb? If u don't av fb...ur wallet? Same thing :lol:


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

MissMartinez said:


> To be honest I agree with this. I'd let a partner have my phone and read my messages if he wanted and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
> 
> I'd have nothing to hide so it makes no difference to me.


Just to clarify would he be sitting going through ur messages but only the ones he saw for 2015 or would he just be skimming through and before u know it ur looking at 2013... ? I agree she's gone abit OTT with bringing up the past but they seem to think she's wrong for looking beyond the messages she had permission for lol I thinks she just got unintentionally carried away. But That kloob one is having her hung drawn and quartered! :death:


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## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Whats the problem here. I don't give two hoots what my Mrs checks, If she looks in my wallet, FB (I don't have), Phone messages, Blah blah blah. I have nothing to hide so don't give a chit. On the other hand there is times when I might want my keys or something she has been using and she tells me they are in her hand bag, just get them!!!! I won't go rummaging through her bag. Fcuk NO, there are things in a woman's handbag a man just should not see! lol:laugh:

At the end of the day if a woman wants to have an affair with the milk man there's nothing you can do except that hope that he leaves an extra pint on the step :wink: win win 

It all boils down to basic trusts and insecurities.

Reading face book without consent.......FFS whatever next....? I bet you feel totally violated lol.


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

MissMartinez said:


> To be honest I agree with this. I'd let a partner have my phone and read my messages if he wanted and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
> 
> I'd have nothing to hide so it makes no difference to me.


But the fact that he wanted to would mean that there was a trust issue in the first place. :lol:

I don't like my bird reading my stuff, in written text things can be taken massively out of context. And women generally won't say something to you about an issue immediately, they will stew on it for a while and ask their mates opinions etc before confronting you, and by that time what wasn't originally an issue has now been blown out of all proportion and is actually a monumental problem.

It's just easier to be out of sight and out of mind.


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Smitch said:


> How's that?
> 
> If you don't interact with them on there or post stuff how can they affect your life any more than saying something to someone face to face?
> 
> It's just a website, Facebook don't try and ruin your life do they.


March 2013, I got locked up due to this guy on FB continually bombarding my missus on FB, I lost plot and went on rampage in WGC. Yes, it does cause issues and I'm not even on there.


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## nowhereboy (May 22, 2012)

Smitch said:


> women generally won't say something to you about an issue immediately, they will stew on it for a while and ask their mates opinions etc before confronting you, and by that time what wasn't originally an issue has now been blown out of all proportion and is actually a monumental problem.


My girlfriend is the master of this.

Then of course you get the "you should have known what i was annoyed about, it was obvious" kinda of statement.


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## SickCurrent (Sep 19, 2005)

nowhereboy said:


> I'm looking for some impartial opinions on my current situation. I live with my girlfriend and her 5 year old little boy, I have done so for best part of a year now. A few months back one of my girlfriends mates told her she knew somebody who worked with me and this person had told her to warn my girlfriend that she should check my phone, she said I'm "not who she thinks I am", that I can't be trusted and that I'm flirting with loads of lasses at work and "up to no good". First things first, there's ZERO truth to this.
> 
> My girlfriend bottled this up for a while and didn't tell me while she worked out what to do with the information, eventually I managed to get it our of her as I knew something was wrong and I tried to put her mind at ease the best I could. I asked her to find out which one of my colleagues had told her friend this and her friend would not tell her because this person "doesn't like drama" (some friend eh?). I also handed her my phone, urging her to check my facebook/messages etc so we could put this to bed but she said she wanted to trust me and didn't need to do that.
> 
> ...


Didn't read you rather long winded essay bro but *ALL women check your phone ect when your not present FACT*

Moral of the story *NEVER* trust a woman

SickC approved


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Huntingground said:


> March 2013, I got locked up due to this guy on FB continually bombarding my missus on FB, I lost plot and went on rampage in WGC. Yes, it does cause issues and I'm not even on there.


The thing is though, even if FB didn't exist idiots like him would still find a way to do that kind of sh1t!

People were still cvnts before Facebook. :lol:


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

SickCurrent said:


> Didn't read you rather long winded essay bro but *ALL women check your phone ect when your not present FACT*
> 
> Moral of the story *NEVER* trust a woman
> 
> SickC approved


Mine doesn't, I've got password locks on everything!


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Smitch said:


> The thing is though, even if FB didn't exist idiots like him would still find a way to do that kind of sh1t!
> 
> People were still cvnts before Facebook. :lol:


I should have dealt with it better.


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## nowhereboy (May 22, 2012)

MissMartinez said:


> To be honest I agree with this. I'd let a partner have my phone and read my messages if he wanted and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
> 
> I'd have nothing to hide so it makes no difference to me.


I have nothing to hide and even mentioned in my OP I gave her my phone and told her to check but she declined.

Her reading the messages wasn't what I was angry about, I was angry about her making her own (incorrect) assumtions about the messages and using it against me. She didn't tell me she'd read them, I found out months later because she told one of my friends when she was drunk. All the while she hasn't trusted me and has been off with me for something I haven't even done. That is the problem, pretty obvious really.


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## Sustanon Steve (Oct 3, 2014)

Sounds like shes looking for an excuse to dump you


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

MissMartinez said:


> There is usually something that triggers that thought that something might be wrong though. It's hard to get rid of that unless you check to satisfy your suspicions.
> 
> I always remember yrs ago I was out of credit on my phone and had to ring someone briefly. I asked my bf at the time could I borrow his phone while we were walking down the street. He got agitated and wouldn't let me make a quick call which made me suspicious. This made me check his phone later while he wasn't there and I saw why he didn't want me to have his phone.


Yeah, that would raise my suspicions too!


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Huntingground said:


> March 2013, I got locked up due to this guy on FB continually bombarding my missus on FB, I lost plot and went on rampage in WGC. Yes, it does cause issues and I'm not even on there.


Why didn't ur mrs block him?


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

MissMartinez said:


> There is usually something that triggers that thought that something might be wrong though. It's hard to get rid of that unless you check to satisfy your suspicions.
> 
> I always remember yrs ago I was out of credit on my phone and had to ring someone briefly. I asked my bf at the time could I borrow his phone while we were walking down the street. He got agitated and wouldn't let me make a quick call which made me suspicious. This made me check his phone later while he wasn't there and I saw why he didn't want me to have his phone.


No smoke without fire


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

MissMartinez said:


> True
> 
> Rather know than be mugged off for longer though... Idiots own fault I was out of credit, he was using my phone the night before!


 Take it he's long gone?


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## andyhuggins (Nov 21, 2008)

Skye666 said:


> Back on track....has ur mrs ever checked ur fb? If u don't av fb...ur wallet? Same thing :lol:


I am not on FB and I don't have a wallet. :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

MissMartinez said:


> There is usually something that triggers that thought that something might be wrong though. It's hard to get rid of that unless you check to satisfy your suspicions.
> 
> I always remember yrs ago I was out of credit on my phone and had to ring someone briefly. I asked my bf at the time could I borrow his phone while we were walking down the street. He got agitated and wouldn't let me make a quick call which made me suspicious. This made me check his phone later while he wasn't there and I saw why he didn't want me to have his phone.


I feel your pain.


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## vetran (Oct 17, 2009)

my mrs trusts me 100% as i really am trustworthy,i might have a few bad points though for example when she is in i come on here but when she goes out i go on pof


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

MissMartinez said:


> Very much so!
> 
> A lot of them about though. You can see it in this forum too which only adds to why women get suspicious on hearing things about their partner.
> 
> ...


No one will jump in fear not... We read everything they write how could they ever deny it ! I have recommended this site to every friend I have just so they know when they tell me they met this great guy...yada yada ..please read some of the comments on what the great guy might be saying on a forum 

Oh noooo emotional mute ..**** I think that's me eeeek


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

MissMartinez said:


> If I didn't know any better I'd think that was genuine but being u I'm taking it as sarcasm!


 :whistling: ..wise woman


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Skye666 said:


> Why didn't ur mrs block him?


Yes, something I have to deal with.


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Huntingground said:


> Yes, something I have to deal with.


FB is the hole into every single relationship currently alive IMO, for the vast majority of the population anyway. Every Ex of every woman you will ever date/marry has direct access to them 24/7. Even non Ex's, guys they may have flirted with briefly years back.

All it takes is one small rocky patch in your relationship, one sour angry argument, built up resentment, whatever... Apply to that a good timing message from a cnut ghost on FB and.. Boom!

I'm not on Facebook, neither is my mrs. A guy in work told me the other month I'm the only person he knows who is not on it. I'm not sure whether that makes me strange, or the rest of the world has become stranger..


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Archaic said:


> FB is the hole into every single relationship currently alive IMO, for the vast majority of the population anyway. Every Ex of every woman you will ever date/marry has direct access to them 24/7. Even non Ex's, guys they may have flirted with briefly years back.
> 
> All it takes is one small rocky patch in your relationship, one sour angry argument, built up resentment, whatever... Apply to that a good timing message from a cnut ghost on FB and.. Boom!
> 
> I'm not on Facebook, neither is my mrs. A guy in work told me the other month I'm the only person he knows who is not on it. I'm not sure whether that makes me strange, or the rest of the world has become stranger..


Why are you not on it though, been caught out previously?

Serious question, every person I know that doesn't use Facebook is only not on it because they've been caught out cheating previously via Facebook.


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

MissMartinez said:


> Very much so!
> 
> A lot of them about though. You can see it in this forum too which only adds to why women get suspicious on hearing things about their partner.
> 
> ...


A lot of flirting goes on within this forum, it's quite funny, if some peoples partners saw what they type on here to the opposite sex I'm sure they'd not be too keen on it! And a lot of the guys that do it are the ones who are very vocal in threads like this about what their partners should and shouldn't do!

I just think "would I be cool with my bird doing this with a fella?", and if the answer is no then I won't do it.

I've chatted to @Skye666 off line and I'm sure she'll vouch for me that I'm not some sleaze ball!


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Smitch said:


> Why are you not on it though, been caught out previously?
> 
> Serious question, every person I know that doesn't use Facebook is only not on it because they've been caught out cheating previously via Facebook.


No, never been caught out on FB because I've never had a FB profile.

I've created one in order to message previous girls for my own gain, as that was the only contactable method I could find. But I've never made a post, never put up a pic, and deactivated once message had/contact info been sent.

As for why I don't incorporate Facebook into my day to day life? I find it bizarre to keep an open diary of your personal life on the internet. I also find it irritating that I would get drawn into spending my free time reading nonsense from others that are connected to me in some small way, but in reality I couldn't give two fcuks what selfie they took, or what they got upto that day.


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## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

Smitch said:


> A lot of flirting goes on within this forum, it's quite funny, if some peoples partners saw what they type on here to the opposite sex I'm sure they'd not be too keen on it! And a lot of the guys that do it are the ones who are very vocal in threads like this about what their partners should and shouldn't do!
> 
> I just think "would I be cool with my bird doing this with a fella?", and if the answer is no then I won't do it.
> 
> I've chatted to @Skye666 off line and *I'm sure she'll vouch for me that I'm not some sleaze ball!*


It wouldnt matter if you were, no one here cares.


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Archaic said:


> No, never been caught out on FB because I've never had a FB profile.
> 
> I've created one in order to message previous girls for my own gain, as that was the only contactable method I could find. But I've never made a post, never put up a pic, and deactivated once message had/contact info been sent.
> 
> As for why I don't incorporate Facebook into my day to day life? I find it bizarre to keep an open diary of your personal life on the internet. I also find it irritating that I would get drawn into spending my free time reading nonsense from others that are connected to me in some small way, but in reality I couldn't give two fcuks what selfish they took, or what they got upto that day.


But you come on here daily and interact with us lot though!

You come across as a pretty switched on fella, I just use Facebook to keep in contact with the people that I don't call or text regularly but still want to keep in contact with, do you not see the benefit in that?


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

banzi said:


> It wouldnt matter if you were, no one here cares.


You care. :thumb:


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Smitch said:


> But you come on here daily and interact with us lot though!
> 
> You come across as a pretty switched on fella, I just use Facebook to keep in contact with the people that I don't call or text regularly but still want to keep in contact with, do you not see the benefit in that?


Facebook is personal, you are opening your entire life up. I feel no desire to do that, my wolf pack are my mrs and our two kids. Whatever outside social interaction we do occurs in the real world, not from behind screens

UK-M, there is a big barrier between here and social media. I know nobody, they don't know me, I come on here for fun when want to burn away spare time, or to offer advice and sometimes learn.

FB is evil and a an ever growing factor behind devorices in this country.


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Archaic said:


> Facebook is personal, you are opening your entire life up. I feel no desire to do that, my wolf pack are my mrs and our two kids. Whatever outside social interaction we do occurs in the real world, not from behind screens
> 
> UK-M, there is a big barrier between here and social media. I know nobody, they don't know me, I come on here for fun when want to burn away spare time, or to offer advice and sometimes learn.
> 
> FB is evil and a an ever growing factor behind devorices in this country.


But FB is what you make it, you don't have to post anything, you can just use it for its messenger etc.

For me there's more benefits than detriment so I use it for pure communication, I only post on there what I don't mind out in the public domain, but I do see some people posting all sorts on there and I do take pleasure in watching the car crashes unfold.


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Smitch said:


> But FB is what you make it, you don't have to post anything, you can just use it for its messenger etc.
> 
> For me there's more benefits than detriment so I use it for pure communication, I only post on there what I don't mind out in the public domain, but I do see some people posting all sorts on there and I do take pleasure in watching the car crashes unfold.


When you fully 100% settle with your bird, live together, kids etc. FB will throw a major stone into your pool one day. It may be from her side, or yours, But mark my words, ripples that turn into waves lay ahead..


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## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

Archaic said:


> When you fully 100% settle with your bird, live together, kids etc. FB will throw a major stone into your pool one day. It may be from her side, or yours, But mark my words, ripples that turn into waves lay ahead..


Very true.

A hidden turd awaits every man.


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Archaic said:


> When you fully 100% settle with your bird, live together, kids etc. FB will throw a major stone into your pool one day. It may be from her side, or yours, But mark my words, ripples that turn into waves lay ahead..


I've been completely honest with this one, we've lived together for six months now, and to be fair I've probably told her too much, but I'd rather she know what she's up against from the start than find out something from some old mate that could throw a spanner in the works a few years down the line.

I'm too old for secrets, if people can't accept me for who I am then they're clearly not the people for me. :lol:


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Smitch said:


> A lot of flirting goes on within this forum, it's quite funny, if some peoples partners saw what they type on here to the opposite sex I'm sure they'd not be too keen on it! And a lot of the guys that do it are the ones who are very vocal in threads like this about what their partners should and shouldn't do!
> 
> I just think "would I be cool with my bird doing this with a fella?", and if the answer is no then I won't do it.
> 
> I've chatted to @Skye666 off line and I'm sure she'll vouch for me that I'm not some sleaze ball!


Sod off .wasnt a chat..sending me a picture of ur ass is just as sleaze!!!! :laugh:

Nah ur one of the decent chaps ...I have to say I do think there's a few decent types on here I havnt seen much flirting?? I tend to,see a lot of that when they think there's new meat and they all go in nice and friendly when Infact it's blatant ..it's not even a real female!! Lol

The flirting thing is a tough one...what's considered flirting on here like if it was ur mrs what would be considered a flirt? I personally think it's **** doing that via this or text it frustrates me I work better looking at someone if I wanna flirt I wanna see the reaction I'm a curious cat


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Archaic said:


> No, never been caught out on FB because I've never had a FB profile.
> 
> I've created one in order to message previous girls for my own gain, as that was the only contactable method I could find. But I've never made a post, never put up a pic, and deactivated once message had/contact info been sent.
> 
> As for why I don't incorporate Facebook into my day to day life? I find it bizarre to keep an open diary of your personal life on the internet. I also find it irritating that I would get drawn into spending my free time reading nonsense from others that are connected to me in some small way, but in reality I couldn't give two fcuks what selfie they took, or what they got upto that day.


I would think ur mrs had it though and u made her get rid ?


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

banzi said:


> It wouldnt matter if you were, no one here cares.


From a female perspective tho it's good to be aware and forewarn a fellow female friend if there's a slimey snake :whistling:


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

banzi said:


> You will never get to the bottom of how a womans mind works.
> 
> A friend of mine happily married (so he thought) with 2 young kids suddenly gets told by his wife she wants him out and a divorce.
> 
> ...


lol psycho!


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Skye666 said:


> I would think ur mrs had it though and u made her get rid ?


It was her choice to close it down, over 5yrs ago.

I work nights every other week anyways, if she wanted an affair it would be very easy for her to do lol. We have a good level of trust in our relationship, as long as she does what she's fcuking told then we're cool!


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