# How do you feel when you look at your partenrs???



## Brutal1 (Jan 25, 2011)

Im going through hell trying to decide what the hell to do???

My missus of over 7 years which I have 1 wee boy to has completely given up on how she looks after herself, She eats like a pig and has a gut similar to Rab C Nesbit, she has a little bum and pretty small legs compared to the top half.

We have just been out for a meal and she had enough food in one sitting to keep me going the whole day, Im pretty put off to be honest and am starting to see we are completely different people, I dont think I know what love is any more and seem to be sticking around for the wrong reasons.

My question to you UKM folks is how do you feel when you look at your partners, do you think they are the most beautiful person youve ever seen and deep down want to spend the rest of your lives with them or are you just waiting for something better to come along?????


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## XRichHx (Mar 7, 2012)

Think you need to sit down with her and tell her how you feel, she might not know and if you just finish out the blue it will be pretty bad.


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## MF88 (Jul 1, 2012)

I see someone who is more and more beautiful every day, a brilliant mum to our kids, and somebody who is mature and independent. I can imagine it would be unappealing to see your partner let herself go like that, but I don't think you should give up on it either.


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## L11 (Jan 21, 2011)

Is it how she looks that bothers you, or the fact that she doesnt seem to give a f*ck?


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## onthebuild (Sep 3, 2011)

Brutal1 said:


> Im going through hell trying to decide what the hell to do???
> 
> My missus of over 7 years which I have 1 wee boy to has completely given up on how she looks after herself, She eats like a pig and has a gut similar to Rab C Nesbit, she has a little bum and pretty small legs compared to the top half.
> 
> ...


I never think my gf at the time is 'the most beautiful person ever'. Sorry ladies but there's always someone better looking than yourselves, get over it.

Im not naive enough to think that they think im the most beautiful person ever either though.

Important thing for me is I look at them and think:

1 - I like what I see

2 - I want to be with them.

Simple as, either of those two change, its pointless carrying it on IMO.

Then again I dont have kids.


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## Queenie (May 30, 2013)

Lol I think Aaron wonders how I put away the amount of food that I can!! 

But then I work my ar$e off in and out of the gym. Id prefer him to say if he thought I was letting myself go. @Incredible Bulk


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## Brutal1 (Jan 25, 2011)

Cheers for the replies fellas, I have tried talking to her and basically shes said if you don't like it you know where the door is, lol kinda funny when you type it on here but pretty brutal really............


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

this is how i put it to my mrs when she was chucking too much down her neck.

"of course i always love you. but if you keep going i wont find you as attractive".

10lb down now in 3 weeks and looking HOT!


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## luther1 (Jul 31, 2011)

I look at mine at want to drop kick her right in the face whilst wearing my ice skating boots


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

You have a little boy so work out your issues and crack on........


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## Brutal1 (Jan 25, 2011)

L11 said:


> Is it how she looks that bothers you, or the fact that she doesnt seem to give a f*ck?


I think its both mate, she is growing bigger and bigger by the day, I'm a pretty vain bloke and its a bit embarrassing to have a girl that must be size 16-18 and starting to look like a transvestite at times :-/


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Brutal1 said:


> I think its both mate, she is growing bigger and bigger by the day, I'm a pretty vain bloke and its a bit embarrassing to have a girl that must be size 16-18 and starting to look like a transvestite at times :-/


If I felt like that about my missus I certainly wouldn't be with her any more.


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## Incredible Bulk (Sep 19, 2007)

Brutal1 said:


> My missus of over 7 years which I have 1 wee boy
> 
> I dont think I know what love is any more and seem to be sticking around for the wrong reasons.


seems that is a massive reason to stick around to me!!

but back on topic!



> My question to you UKM folks is how do you feel when you look at your partners, do you think they are the most beautiful person youve ever seen and deep down want to spend the rest of your lives with them or are you just waiting for something better to come along?????


 @RXQueenie, she never believes a word i say, stubborn to the end, but i think she looks hot and i love how she looks after herself and strives to always better her physique.

Plus she can tuck away a whole frikkin plate of pastries like me and that in my book fcking rules...


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## LutherLee (Apr 30, 2010)

I love my lady ye, ye I love my bit*h!


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

only you know if you want to be there or not, seven years is known as a bad time for a reason, I remember it well.

we moved house twice in a year chasing our demons out of the marriage around that time

things might not be perfect but 16 years now and I couldn`t imagine life without her, somedays she bugs me to death, other days I royally pss her off, that`s life.


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## WillOdling (Aug 27, 2009)

Post some pics, maybe then we can feel your pain


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

Brutal1 said:


> Cheers for the replies fellas, I have tried talking to her and basically shes said if you don't like it you know where the door is, lol kinda funny when you type it on here but pretty brutal really............


call her bluff or be unhappy...


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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

How old is your wee boy?


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

I couldn't walk out on my kids. Chat to her and sort it, don't give up on the family.


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## Brutal1 (Jan 25, 2011)

Ian_Montrose said:


> How old is your wee boy?


The wee fella is 5 bud, He's in his first year at school


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## Leigh (Jun 13, 2012)

Brutal1 said:


> Cheers for the replies fellas, I have tried talking to her and basically shes said if you don't like it you know where the door is, lol kinda funny when you type it on here but pretty brutal really............


Sounds like she's not that happy with you either.

Maybe she's comfort eating because the relationship is in difficulty.

I suggest you both try to sort out your feelings and decide if you can still be together


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## Brutal1 (Jan 25, 2011)

Huntingground said:


> I couldn't walk out on my kids. Chat to her and sort it, don't give up on the family.


I totally feel ya on that one mate, I couldnt imagine not having ma wee boy around me, He is the best thing ive ever known, I also have a step son who is 11 with the fatty.........


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Brutal1 said:


> I totally feel ya on that one mate, I couldnt imagine not having ma wee boy around me, He is the best thing ive ever known, I also have a step son who is 11 with the fatty.........


Well, sounds like you're going to have to help her change. I wouldn't want a fat bird so do understand how you feel.

Difficult situation for you.


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## C.Hill (Nov 21, 2010)

When I look at my mrs I feel a twitchy sensation in my carrot region.


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## geeby112 (Mar 15, 2008)

Feel a bone on


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## Andrewgenic (Jul 5, 2010)

Brutal1 said:


> Im going through hell trying to decide what the hell to do???
> 
> My missus of over 7 years which I have 1 wee boy to has completely given up on how she looks after herself, She eats like a pig and has a gut similar to Rab C Nesbit, she has a little bum and pretty small legs compared to the top half.
> 
> ...


She sound s like a real darling. I love a woman who can eat!


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## Brutal1 (Jan 25, 2011)

Leigh L said:


> Sounds like she's not that happy with you either.
> 
> Maybe she's comfort eating because the relationship is in difficulty.
> 
> I suggest you both try to sort out your feelings and decide if you can still be together


I know I am a nightmare also, Im constantly trying to better myself physically because I feel deep down im not good enough, this in turn causes me to be obsessive over the gym, clothes, nutrition, cars, motorbikes and clothes.....And I suppose PED's

Almost all of the above she couldnt give a flying Fcuk about.

She told me before she couldnt afford to live without me, Aye afford, as in she woulndt have enough money, I earn some decent money and I suppose its got to make a difference if I earned sweet FA........


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## lucs (Apr 8, 2011)

was she a big girl when you met her or has really gain in size ? i ask as maybe its not the weight just how you look at her.

i prefer my mrs in her normal day to day state rather than when she does make up etc etc, she a size extra small to small so i cant put myself in your situation. i will let you know in 10 years


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## Conscript (Sep 5, 2010)

At the moment, TERROR!! she's been broody for a while now!


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## liam0810 (Jan 6, 2011)

I know where your coming from pal. I look at my partner and see they've got fat and its a turn off, but its a price I've got to pay when bulking becuase my hands do go chubby


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

I think l am lucky that she will never judge me or love me any less no matter what so when l look at her l feel the same.


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## Brutal1 (Jan 25, 2011)

lucanuk said:


> was she a big girl when you met her or has really gain in size ? i ask as maybe its not the weight just how you look at her.
> 
> i prefer my mrs in her normal day to day state rather than when she does make up etc etc, she a size extra small to small so i cant put myself in your situation. i will let you know in 10 years


When I met her she was a size 12 mate, so yeah she has put a fair bit of adipose round the gut area, she really does hold fat only round the gut, must be hormonal as ive never seen a woman with a gut like hers, like a massive beer belly but made out of jelly.


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## jay101 (Aug 9, 2011)

Take her onto Jeremy Kyle and tell her what u think of her !


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## VanillaFace (Aug 15, 2012)

Haven't read all the replies so sorry if I'm repeating something that's already been said.

You missus probably isn't very happy with how she looks either, she's probably quite insecure and you telling her she's over weight or not attractive anymore is not going to motivate her, it's just going to p!ss here off. If she's going to change or if she wants to change she needs to do it for herself.

Maybe she doesn't want to face up to the fact she's not as attractive as she used to be and is afraid of putting the hard work in.

I think you should sit down with her and try and find out if SHE is happy with how she looks and then support her if she decides she wants to do something about it. If not then just slip some dieting pills in her diet coke


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## Brutal1 (Jan 25, 2011)

Milky said:


> I think l am lucky that she will never judge me or love me any less no matter what so when l look at her l feel the same.


This is exactly what confuses me mate, as I know deep down this is how you are supposed to feel when you are with your soulmate.


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## Fiction (Sep 12, 2010)

I agree with Vanillaface, get some DNP hidden in her breakfast.


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

Brutal1 said:


> This is exactly what confuses me mate, as I know deep down this is how you are supposed to feel when you are with your soulmate.


its not about loving them any less though is it. got to find them sexually attractive...at least while its all still working.


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## lucs (Apr 8, 2011)

Brutal1 said:


> When I met her she was a size 12 mate, so yeah she has put a fair bit of adipose round the gut area, she really does hold fat only round the gut, must be hormonal as ive never seen a woman with a gut like hers, like a massive beer belly but made out of jelly.


buy her a gym membership for xmas  sorry mate couldnt resist.

Your between the rock and the hard palce as they say mate, bottom line is sounds like if she carries on you will leave so you only have one other option to try and help her shift the weight


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

Brutal1 said:


> Cheers for the replies fellas, I have tried talking to her and basically shes said if you don't like it you know where the door is, lol kinda funny when you type it on here but pretty brutal really............


lols sounds like shes kinda encouragin you to go?


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## Mez (Jul 31, 2012)

My mrs is the same op, but I used to be really fat 15 yrs ago when we met and she didn't mind. What bothers me more is that she doesn't care about her health or well being, just seems to sleep and work and eat crap.

I've suggested she come gym with me, go hiking or similar, I've even offered to go Zumba with her and her mates ! But she just wants to watch soaps and eat chocolate.


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## Brutal1 (Jan 25, 2011)

jay101 said:


> Take her onto Jeremy Kyle and tell her what u think of her !


Ha Jeremy Kyle, fcuk i'd never go on there.............Would only ever go on a show like that if they chanted Jerry!..Jerry!..Jerry!..


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## F.M.J (Mar 23, 2009)

Invite her to the gym with you mate, I train with my wife at the moment, her membership runs out in January so looks like I will be going at it alone from there.

My gym is a 30 minute walk away and we walk every time, this gives us an extra hour 4 days a week just to chat and have a laugh, then when we're in the gym we help each other, it's nice. Sounds mushy and corny but I like it, we definitely bonded a lot through the gym - even though she doesn't like it much, she sees it as a necessary evil but likes it for all the extra time we get together.


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## jake87 (May 7, 2010)

3 pages and the word 'resentment' hasnt been quoted once mg:


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## Brutal1 (Jan 25, 2011)

Exactly the same here mate, Not only that but the kids eat utter sh1te aswell as she buys it all when she goes shopping, The wee one used to eat well but now hates most foods unless is sweeties, crisps or MacD's


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

Brutal1 said:


> Exactly the same here mate, Not only that but the kids eat utter sh1te aswell as she buys it all when she goes shopping, The wee one used to eat well but now hates most foods unless is sweeties, crisps or MacD's


does her weight bother her?


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## F.M.J (Mar 23, 2009)

Brutal1 said:


> Exactly the same here mate, Not only that but the kids eat utter sh1te aswell as she buys it all when she goes shopping, The wee one used to eat well but now hates most foods unless is sweeties, crisps or MacD's


Need to cut out all that crap like and make it a once weekly kinda thing. I'm no parent so not gonna try teach anyone how to parent but when I was a kid it was Friday my parents would buy me 2 Gregg's sausage rolls and a small Gregg's cake and that's it.

Drives me nuts when I see parents out in town feeding their kids so much junk food and you can see their kids are larger than what's 'normal' - not that I'm saying you are mate.

I have a step brother who was pretty overweight - boarding obese IMO when he was 12!! Her mother just let him eat anything and he ate everything! she just told him he has big bones! Yeah, okay, since when were bones made out of jelly! Lol.

But definitely a habit that needs a close eye on.


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

Brutal1 said:


> Im going through hell trying to decide what the hell to do???
> 
> My missus of over 7 years which I have 1 wee boy to has completely given up on how she looks after herself, She eats like a pig and has a gut similar to Rab C Nesbit, she has a little bum and pretty small legs compared to the top half.
> 
> ...


you went through 9 months of hell, then watched as she gave birth.. but it's her eating habits that have put you off??


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## supermancss (Dec 2, 2008)

do your best with motivating her to keep healthy and for kids too.

Just remember if you aren't happy you can still be a good dad separated


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## completeconcentration (Dec 7, 2012)

Woman have admittedly got a tendency to eat when they are upset! They look at their less slim figure and get upset therefore it causes a never ending emotional frustrating cycle which take shot loads of praise patience and effort! I know the look of her may put you off but in the long run if you keep giving her "compliments" she will start to think less negative!

She will feel like you appreciate her! An the positive marks will make her generally more happy! Therefore you start a new cycle! She's happy she doesn't over eat and bonus everyone's happy!!

You want to change something you put the work In

Just my opinion that will most likely result in someone replying with a negative but hey ho!!


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## frenchpress (Nov 22, 2012)

Surely if you are watching how much she is eating when you are out for a meal instead of chatting or whatever, there is something else going on?


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## vetran (Oct 17, 2009)

personally i like to be at least 5st min heavier than my woman,if your not happy about her piling on the lbs then just fckin tell her mate over dinner lol.


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## jake87 (May 7, 2010)

frenchpress said:


> Surely if you are watching how much she is eating when you are out for a meal instead of chatting or whatever, there is something else going on?


that is ridiculous


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## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

Like purchasing some DNP


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

She is responsible for your sexual life.

She is disrespecting you gaining all that weight. She needs a reality check, if she knows how you feel and doesn't give a **** id say it's her pushing you away not you walking away.

You can be a good father without staying with the mother who is piling on the pounds not thinking about your needs.

My mate had similar. His girlfriend had there first kid who's nearly 3 now. About two years in she gained a ton of weight. Stopped doing her make up. Started sitting round in vests with no bra etc. he threatened to leave she said "go ahead I don't care"

Soon changed her tune when he moved In with me (while paying Her more than he had to through CSa)

Suddenly she missed him and wanted him back and she lost the weight. Made lots of effort when he went to pick the kid up etc,

There now together and happier than ever

If you wanted a fat girlfriend you would of picked one In the first place. She won't appreciate what she's got till its take away for a week


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## Badonkadonk (Dec 9, 2012)

Brutal1 said:


> Im going through hell trying to decide what the hell to do???
> 
> My missus of over 7 years which I have 1 wee boy to has completely given up on how she looks after herself, She eats like a pig and has a gut similar to Rab C Nesbit, she has a little bum and pretty small legs compared to the top half.
> 
> ...


we all have bad times and can feel depressed, I don't know about your life but if you think there is a change in her behaviour, something must be triggering that, you said *"I dont think I know what love is any more and seem to be sticking around for the wrong reasons"* maybe she's just feeling the same and get comfort from food like most women do, some man too!

About your question I guess I am a lucky man, I meet my wife in a gym many years ago, she was the personal trainer and I start working out just to try to get her ass to dinner, I succeed and start lifting and got addicted from there, I had to do it or she would kick my ass really bad heheh she still punch me stronger than most guys

there is no experts in your situation but and is just my opinion if you make her feel bad she will eat even more, if you think she still is the one make her feel good and beautiful just the way she is and who knows her self esteem gets back on trail,

Is not about how you fell but about what shes feeling to do that to herself

being a good man is easy when things are good, being a good man when things are bad is what make you different

guess I had drink enough for tonight lol, and I don't want to disrespect you or anyone with my opnion

good luck mate for both and to the little one too


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## George-Bean (Sep 8, 2010)

Dont you leave, throw her out and bring up the kids yourself.


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## Aldinblack (Aug 8, 2012)

IMO the only thing you can do is try to lead by example.

For example start doing some of the shopping yourself and cook nice healthy meals for you and your kid and your mrs.

Do some sport with your kid, does he like footy ? Join a kiddies football club or just take him swimming or some other children's activities...I'm sure your mrs would want to come along & watch sometimes.

You need to gradually introduce change and play an active role in it, given time your mrs might come around to it and start joining in...

Talking ain't gonna work IMO cause she's not listening anyway - its time for action !

Good luck


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## Ballin (Aug 24, 2011)

Can't you slip her some DNP??


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## musclemate (Sep 14, 2012)

The next time she asks "Does this dress make me look fat?" Be honest and say "No, your fat makes you look fat". Sorry matey... Couldn't resist that classic.

Is the weight something that has happened recently or gradually over time? People get comfortable in relationships and think they don't have to try anymore. However, it could be there was some trigger like having kids. Could be some kind of depression that she does not realise. Unhappy with her job, etc.

Have a chat. Talk about how she is feeling. Try to gauge whether she is happy or is something bothering her. Don't just come out with "you look a bit like a heffa...something wrong love?". See if she opens ups to you.

Good luck mate.


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## RockyD (Oct 8, 2012)

Sounds like you both need to compromise.

She needs to start making some effort to get in shape and look after herself, and you probably need to stop obsessing so much with how you look, its great to keep in shape ,eat healthily etc, but being obsessed with how you look(as you say you are), is a turn off for most people.


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## Jim78 (Aug 20, 2010)

luther1 said:


> I look at mine at want to drop kick her right in the face whilst wearing my ice skating boots


I have days like that, normally mon-sun pmsl


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## Fieryfilly (Nov 12, 2012)

surely you should be talking to her about the health risks too if she's eating as much as you say she is, it can't be doing her any good.

IMO if I had a problem with the way someone looks I would say something. I know I had a few problems with my o/h a few days ago, regarding me going to the gym, but we talked about it and sorted it out. I would hope my o/h would tell me if he doesn't like the way I looked, it's all about honesty and if you love each other I'm sure you'll work it out.

Sticking around for your little one isn't always the best thing to do either. I've seen kids screwed up more by the fact their parents argue, or bad atmosphere etc. If you don't want to be with her, then leave, at least your son would have 2 happy homes instead of one unhappy one ???


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## Jim78 (Aug 20, 2010)

Yeh tbh read all the comments, its apparent that you've probably changed physically and a lot of women do one of either two things when this happens....they either step up their game and make the effort you are and be happy, or they can go in on themselves, you changing could actually be making her feel like ****....tbh Ive changed a lot in 11 years with the missus, she seems to lack any real desire to achieve anything in life, I constantly have to try and motivate her and tbh whilst she still makes the effort appearance wise, is a good mother and wife and I still fancy her....its the mental side of the relationship which I get no satisfaction from anymore, and that tbh can be as bad as physically despising someone.

talk to her.


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## The Cheese (Sep 22, 2012)

Slap her ass and ride the ripples!!

Me, I love fat chicks and I couldn't give a crap if my missus is carrying a bit of timber or not. Sure, looks come into it but after 20 years, they're way down the list of important things.

Ask yourself, would you be so worried if you were overweight yourself? Or is it more a vanity thing with you wanting something nice on your arm when you're walking down the street?

Only reason I'd be worried is on health grounds. And if that is what's worrying you, that's where you need to concentrate your argument. But do it diplomatically and carefully - no woman likes to be told that they're fat and if you screw it up, all you'll do is make it worse.


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## ausbuilt (Nov 22, 2010)

RXQueenie said:


> Lol I think Aaron wonders how I put away the amount of food that I can!!
> 
> But then I work my ar$e off in and out of the gym. Id prefer him to say if he thought I was letting myself go. @Incredible Bulk


My girl started of thinking a bikini figure was better than all the other types, now she thinks figure competitors have awsome bodies, now she says, if she can eat what she wants and not get fat with the amount Rene Campbell carries, it has its appeal and asked would I still find her attractive- YESS!!! :thumb:

My girl trains so she can eat.... i'd hate to think what she would look like if she didn't train, as she does LOVE the food.....


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## kingy_88 (Apr 13, 2009)

Tbh it sounds to me that there's a underlying problem with your relationship and that need addressing first and for most and then maybe you will both realise there are changes that need making.


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## Queenie (May 30, 2013)

ausbuilt said:


> My girl started of thinking a bikini figure was better than all the other types, now she thinks figure competitors have awsome bodies, now she says, if she can eat what she wants and not get fat with the amount Rene Campbell carries, it has its appeal and asked would I still find her attractive- YESS!!! :thumb:
> 
> My girl trains so she can eat.... i'd hate to think what she would look like if she didn't train, as she does LOVE the food.....


lol.... the only thing i like about the bikini girls are their boobs.

funny though that women with appetites are generally deemed to be unattractive by society. boys would rather watch their girls tuck into a lettuce leaf than a hearty plate of actual FOOD! no, no, not in queenie-land! lol.


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## LuLuJJ (Jan 15, 2012)

onthebuild said:


> I never think my gf at the time is 'the most beautiful person ever'. Sorry ladies but there's always someone better looking than yourselves, get over it.
> 
> Im not naive enough to think that they think im the most beautiful person ever either though.
> 
> ...


You obviously havent met the right person.. I think my boyfriend is the most good looking person in the world!

Sometimes he looks at me in a way that makes my knees go funny!..

But i think if he completely let himself go id be slightly put off my the lack of self control, but no i dont think there is anyone better looking than him.


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## rectus (Jan 18, 2012)

LMAO! "Rab C Nesbit", "Transvestite", "beer gut of jelly". You poor b4stard.

Women typically let themselves go in relationships, but yours is taking the p!ss. It starts with not putting on their make-up indoors, then moves onto flatulence, picking, scratching and eating like a sumo wrestler who's just finished the Cambridge Diet at his wife's request. They are not like the beautiful creatures we once imagined they were. You've talked to her, good, but then she told you she doesn't care. Take her option of leaving, but I don't think you will have to leave. It may just give her watch she needs to get out of her comfort zone. If she knows she's got you, she isn't going to change.

Rectus - Agony Uncle.


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## ausbuilt (Nov 22, 2010)

RXQueenie said:


> lol.... the only thing i like about the bikini girls are their boobs.
> 
> funny though that women with appetites are generally deemed to be unattractive by society. boys would rather watch their girls tuck into a lettuce leaf than a hearty plate of actual FOOD! no, no, not in queenie-land! lol.


you and your boy should have dinner with me and the girl.... think we could just pull up chairs to an all you can eat buffet! :lol:

seriously.... we went for a pizza the other night; she ordered 1, i ordered 2, she had a slice of my 2nd one. Both had dessert. We get home, I'm stuffed. She puts away a Ben & Jerrys cookie dough 500mL tub, 2 krispy kremes and a block of toblerone.. she damn near out-eats me every day... LOL but getting great results training wise.. think she will be giving REne a run for her money in 2 years.. LOL


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## ausbuilt (Nov 22, 2010)

rectus said:


> LMAO! "Rab C Nesbit", "Transvestite", "beer gut of jelly". You poor b4stard.
> 
> Women typically let themselves go in relationships, but yours is taking the p!ss. It starts with not putting on their make-up indoors, then moves onto flatulence, picking, scratching and eating like a sumo wrestler who's just finished the Cambridge Diet at his wife's request. They are not like the beautiful creatures we once imagined they were. You've talked to her, good, but then she told you she doesn't care. Take her option of leaving, but I don't think you will have to leave. It may just give her watch she needs to get out of her comfort zone. If she knows she's got you, she isn't going to change.
> 
> Rectus - Agony Uncle.


I find swinging helps- they maintain their looks to keep attracting guys- it goes both ways....


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## Queenie (May 30, 2013)

ausbuilt said:


> you and your boy should have dinner with me and the girl.... think we could just pull up chairs to an all you can eat buffet! :lol:
> 
> seriously.... we went for a pizza the other night; she ordered 1, i ordered 2, she had a slice of my 2nd one. Both had dessert. We get home, I'm stuffed. She puts away a Ben & Jerrys cookie dough 500mL tub, 2 krispy kremes and a block of toblerone.. she damn near out-eats me every day... LOL but getting great results training wise.. think she will be giving REne a run for her money in 2 years.. LOL


haha i'll tell rene she needs to watch out 

seriously if us 4 went out to an 'all you can eat' - we'd get BANNED lol.


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

oh and OP, your mrs is messing up your kids buy allowing them to eat crap and potentially get fat. The number of fat cells they generate now will be stuck with them for life giving them possible complications later down the line with weight issues and staying healthy on normal amounts of food. All just because your mrs thinks its ok to be getting fat. Bit selfish of her really. Can do what she wants to herself end of the day. But your kids...hhmmm. Have a strong word.


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## Dirk McQuickly (Dec 29, 2010)

she looks like a transvestite you say? Can I have her number?


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> oh and OP, your mrs is messing up your kids buy allowing them to eat crap and potentially get fat. The number of fat cells they generate now will be stuck with them for life giving them possible complications later down the line with weight issues and staying healthy on normal amounts of food. All just because your mrs thinks its ok to be getting fat. Bit selfish of her really. Can do what she wants to herself end of the day. But your kids...hhmmm. Have a strong word.


I'd definitely mention this. You can't tell her how to eat however you can tell her not to let your kids get fat.

Does she work a lot ? No excuse not to be giving the kids a healthy varied diet if she isn't working 60 hours a week


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## Guest (Dec 10, 2012)

> My missus of over 7 years which I have 1 wee boy to has completely given up on how she looks after herself


maybe instead of trying to force a change on her (which usually wont work) , try and find out the underlying reason why she has 'given up' , when ppl give up on things theres usually reason. atm you looking at it from your viewpoint, not hers.


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

I think that when you truely love someone you still love them despite physical changes. Admittedly attraction can waver; were all human after all, but when you choose to spend your life with someone you can't be dumb enough to think that your partner will always look the same...pregnancy can do a lot of damage to a woman and the doom that we all face is the affects of aging. Stress and unhappiness can also hit us all and that often results in neglected health.

If my man gained weight my first conern would be health, not attraction, and I'd be honest about that. I wouldn't be mean or selfish enough to expect him to gain the ideal physique just for me...I just want him to be happy...and vice versa. If he was overweight he'd be unhappy so I'd support him losing it. I appreciate that in general men are more visual than women so I'll always make an effort to stay in shape but when I gained weight he never put pressure on me to lose it for his own benefit.

There's far more than just physical appearance when you love someone. There has to be if you intend to go through life, and lifes challenges, with them.


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## Slimjim83 (Aug 15, 2012)

Brutal1 said:


> Im going through hell trying to decide what the hell to do???
> 
> My missus of over 7 years which I have 1 wee boy to has completely given up on how she looks after herself, She eats like a pig and has a gut similar to Rab C Nesbit, she has a little bum and pretty small legs compared to the top half.
> 
> ...


The way I see is a pure brutal test of your love for her. Let someone else have her. Would it torment you to know that some other bloke is sleeping with her? Instead of giving her sh%t about her weight, find out what's causing this. Believe me when I say this that no woman enjoys being fat. Try and help her, go gym with her, go on walks together. Just get her active with you as she's probably shot in confidence from you keep putting her down. Make her some nice meals, start treating her better. If that all fails then so be it. At least you've tried.


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## Jim78 (Aug 20, 2010)

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> oh and OP, your mrs is messing up your kids buy allowing them to eat crap and potentially get fat. The number of fat cells they generate now will be stuck with them for life giving them possible complications later down the line with weight issues and staying healthy on normal amounts of food. All just because your mrs thinks its ok to be getting fat. Bit selfish of her really. Can do what she wants to herself end of the day. But your kids...hhmmm. Have a strong word.


I agree here, me and the wife only let the young un have sweets a few times a week, she actually prefers fruit now over somehting crap tbh because we gave her that when she was young, im all for kids having a treat but think its nice to see them eat something healthy.


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## rectus (Jan 18, 2012)

Katy said:


> I think that when you truely love someone you still love them despite physical changes. Admittedly attraction can waver; were all human after all, but when you choose to spend your life with someone you can't be dumb enough to think that your partner will always look the same...pregnancy can do a lot of damage to a woman and the doom that we all face is the affects of aging. Stress and unhappiness can also hit us all and that often results in neglected health.
> 
> If my man gained weight my first conern would be health, not attraction, and I'd be honest about that. I wouldn't be mean or selfish enough to expect him to gain the ideal physique just for me...I just want him to be happy...and vice versa. If he was overweight he'd be unhappy so I'd support him losing it. I appreciate that in general men are more visual than women so I'll always make an effort to stay in shape but when I gained weight he never put pressure on me to lose it for his own benefit.
> 
> There's far more than just physical appearance when you love someone. There has to be if you intend to go through life, and lifes challenges, with them.


The difference is men are visual, and women are aural. If we change you just have to deal with it ok? If you change, well then that's not acceptable.


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

I keep coming back to your Avi - assuming thats not her, actually even if it was her it sort of sums up your attitude to women while in a long term relationship ............ and you say she is the one with issues?

just saying like


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## Jim78 (Aug 20, 2010)

RXQueenie said:


> lol.... the only thing i like about the bikini girls are their boobs.
> 
> funny though that women with appetites are generally deemed to be unattractive by society. boys would rather watch their girls tuck into a lettuce leaf than a hearty plate of actual FOOD! no, no, not in queenie-land! lol.


think that's a misconception, I like a woman with an appetite, and tbh a women with curves and some weight is more attractive to me personally, however a bloody gut like the OP is susggesting a sign of letting yourself go and horrible tbh.


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## Queenie (May 30, 2013)

Jim78 said:


> think that's a misconception, I like a woman with an appetite, and tbh a women with curves and some weight is more attractive to me personally, however a bloody gut like the OP is susggesting a sign of letting yourself go and horrible tbh.


is it though? i'd say i have a gut... post-pregnancy. i didnt let myself go did i? it's just nature. yes - she needs some educating around her eating, but that's all. communication is a must here, and give her something to inspire her maybe.

oh and i didnt mean every guy - there are always exceptions and obviously you bodybuilding boys are a different kettle of fish


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## Badonkadonk (Dec 9, 2012)

thanks God, some also have the same opinion as me! I was starting to think I had to check my estrogen levels!!!!


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## Jim78 (Aug 20, 2010)

RXQueenie said:


> is it though? i'd say i have a gut... post-pregnancy. i didnt let myself go did i? it's just nature. yes - she needs some educating around her eating, but that's all. communication is a must here, and give her something to inspire her maybe.
> 
> oh and i didnt mean every guy - there are always exceptions and obviously you bodybuilding boys are a different kettle of fish


you'd say you have a gut, like many women who look perfectly normal and healthy do aswell....and don't (actually have a gut) lol

Women come in all shapes and sizes a suppose, got to say a gut and lardy **** does put me off, but then you get women who are quite big and maybe size 14-16 who ooze sex appeal and quite tight all round.

i agree with your thoughts on what the OP should say, I wouldn't be suprised if she feels worse for him changing himself for the better.


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## lickatsplit (Aug 21, 2012)

Brutal1 said:


> I think its both mate, she is growing bigger and bigger by the day, I'm a pretty vain bloke and its a bit embarrassing to have a girl that must be size 16-18 and starting to look like a transvestite at times :-/


ha ha, sounds like my ex wife, and I dumped her for that reason


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## rectus (Jan 18, 2012)

RXQueenie said:


> lol.... the only thing i like about the bikini girls are their boobs.
> 
> funny though that women with appetites are generally deemed to be unattractive by society. boys would rather watch their girls tuck into a lettuce leaf than a hearty plate of actual FOOD! no, no, not in queenie-land! lol.


No blokes I know think that way. The society you're referring to is what it's in your head, created by those women's magazines who apparently know what men want - they don't. I'll tell you what men want: a woman who has a healthy figure, and by that I don't mean a women obsessed with calories and weight but has a sense of pride, self-respect. We all like different body types, and yes some like the stick thin salad munchers but that's a minority much like the women who like shredded body builders.


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

Hmmm I would find this very difficult don't think I could cope with a situation like this!


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## LuLuJJ (Jan 15, 2012)

Kaywoodham said:


> Hmmm I would find this very difficult don't think I could cope with a situation like this!


Hahaha good advice there Kay


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

LuLuJJ said:


> Hahaha good advice there Kay


Haha I'm reading it thinking I'd either cheat or have a break down hahaha. Nah I'd have to tell them, I would say it all wrong though and probably upset them and then get narky through stress of me saying it wrong... Rather the OP than me. Now time for my third pain au chocolat and tuna sandwich


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## Incredible Bulk (Sep 19, 2007)

RXQueenie said:


> seriously if us 4 went out to an 'all you can eat' - we'd get BANNED lol.


oh hell yeah.... buffets are my true calling.

All you can eat?


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## bambi1550 (Dec 10, 2012)

Brutal1 said:


> Cheers for the replies fellas, I have tried talking to her and basically shes said if you don't like it you know where the door is, lol kinda funny when you type it on here but pretty brutal really............


Majorly brutal... Training and diet is a lifestyle choice, if your loved one doesnt have that lifestyle it'll get pretty hard work! x


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## LuLuJJ (Jan 15, 2012)

Kaywoodham said:


> Haha I'm reading it thinking I'd either cheat or have a break down hahaha. Nah I'd have to tell them, I would say it all wrong though and probably upset them and then get narky through stress of me saying it wrong... Rather the OP than me. Now time for my third pain au chocolat and tuna sandwich


Yep deffo!! Would be a hard one.. im not good at communication id just make nasty comments i think.. :/

3rd?! omg ive had 3 eggs for breakfast and soup for lunch., im so full lol!


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## Queenie (May 30, 2013)

Incredible Bulk said:


> oh hell yeah.... buffets are my true calling.
> 
> All you can eat?


still waiting for u to take me to that italian place


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## Incredible Bulk (Sep 19, 2007)

RXQueenie said:


> still waiting for u to take me to that italian place


Saturday if your game!! post xmas cake making though....priorities lol


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

LuLuJJ said:


> Yep deffo!! Would be a hard one.. im not good at communication id just make nasty comments i think.. :/
> 
> 3rd?! omg ive had 3 eggs for breakfast and soup for lunch., im so full lol!


Hey least we are honest lol. There's loads of people in here writing the perfect answers but probably wouldn't follow suit themselves.

I've had 2 coffees, chicken pasta, a slice of pizza and 2 pain au chocolats. Now to get my protein in me and eat my shop bought tuna sandwich... A shake maybe a good idea and perhaps no more sh1t but I don't care lol


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## shieldsy (Jan 22, 2010)

I always used to find my ex gf unattractive after I had a w ank

Are u masterbating a lot?


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## LuLuJJ (Jan 15, 2012)

Kaywoodham said:


> Hey least we are honest lol. There's loads of people in here writing the perfect answers but probably wouldn't follow suit themselves.
> 
> I've had 2 coffees, chicken pasta, a slice of pizza and 2 pain au chocolats. Now to get my protein in me and eat my shop bought tuna sandwich... A shake maybe a good idea and perhaps no more sh1t but I don't care lol


LOL thats exactly it!..

Good god woman.. i'll prob have a shake when i get home about 3 then chicken and veg for dinner.. Yumm!!


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## rectus (Jan 18, 2012)

shieldsy said:


> I always used to find my ex gf unattractive after I had a w ank
> 
> Are u masterbating a lot?


This got me thinking... if OP was adamant in staying with her and she refused to changed her eating habits, OP could do a course of Testosterone and Trenbolone and she would become the most attractive woman in the world. Problem solved.


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

LuLuJJ said:


> LOL thats exactly it!..
> 
> Good god woman.. i'll prob have a shake when i get home about 3 then chicken and veg for dinner.. Yumm!!


Omg u need to get more food in u girl! Not the sort I've just listed mind lol


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## LuLuJJ (Jan 15, 2012)

Kaywoodham said:


> Omg u need to get more food in u girl! Not the sort I've just listed mind lol


Hmm.. i had a chicken celebration burger, fries and 2 lots of cheesy dippers from mcds last night.. :/ HAha


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## Craig660 (Dec 8, 2005)

I haven't read the whole thread but maybe you should start sprinkling dnp in her food , could save your relationship


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## secondhandsoul (Feb 6, 2012)

My Mrs was big when I met her. She has since dropped 7 stone and is still considered overweight despite being the lightest she has been since her teens. I loved her when I first met her, I lover her now. If anything I have changed more by being a lean, muscular little gym rat with aspirations of sporting a Rene Campbell kind of build. Mrs hates working out and healthy eating but seeing as she never cooks she eats what I make or she goes without. It used to upset me the fact she makes zero effort and I basically run her life as far as food goes (I enjoy doing it but wanted her to put effort in which never happened and never will) I have my days when I want to throttle her and say, wtf why cant you make a good choice without me but that's just her. Her weight and eating habits were never part of my attraction to her and who am I to try and change her. She deserves to be happy however she chooses and if I have a problem with it then thats something I have to deal with.....its rage inducing sometimes but there are far worse character flaws in life than a poor diet and laziness.


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## Brutal1 (Jan 25, 2011)

Aldinblack said:


> IMO the only thing you can do is try to lead by example.
> 
> For example start doing some of the shopping yourself and cook nice healthy meals for you and your kid and your mrs.
> 
> ...


I have tried most things mentioned there mate, The 11 year old plays football and I box, run and hit the gym, My 5 year old didnt like Thai kwon do but wants to start boxing as does the 11 year old, they seem to want to follow in my footsteps but she is completely the other way, We go swimming she never does, I want to go camping she never will, I want to go snowboarding but I know she wont, Im an active person where she wants to drink coffee and smoke then drink wine on a night time.....


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## Sambuca (Jul 25, 2012)

mines beautiful, even if she put a stone on she would be mighty fine still. If she ever got in to a state where he health was at risk I would question why she wanted to be like that.


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## LuLuJJ (Jan 15, 2012)

Brutal1 said:


> I have tried most things mentioned there mate, The 11 year old plays football and I box, run and hit the gym, My 5 year old didnt like Thai kwon do but wants to start boxing as does the 11 year old, they seem to want to follow in my footsteps but she is completely the other way, We go swimming she never does, I want to go camping she never will, I want to go snowboarding but I know she wont, Im an active person where she wants to drink coffee and smoke then drink wine on a night time.....


To be totally honest you sound like 2 totally different people.. like your interests are not the same or anything, and IMO if thats the case then the relationship isnt going to work anyway.


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

Brutal1 said:


> I have tried most things mentioned there mate, The 11 year old plays football and I box, run and hit the gym, My 5 year old didnt like Thai kwon do but wants to start boxing as does the 11 year old, they seem to want to follow in my footsteps but she is completely the other way, We go swimming she never does, I want to go camping she never will, I want to go snowboarding but I know she wont, Im an active person where she wants to drink coffee and smoke then drink wine on a night time.....


She sounds really down


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

Ballin said:


> Can't you slip her an S.T.D??


Whoah, that's a little extreme bro! :rolleye:



Brutal1 said:


> How do you feel when you look at your partners???


Well personally a devilish grin appears onto my face then i like to break out into rapping this






As i break out my "Spanking" paddle...

At others i'm filled with outrage, this plays in my head






And then i break out my "Lesson teaching" baseball bat...

Just kidding.....err...Just say no to violence:rolleye:


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## Ballin (Aug 24, 2011)

madmuscles said:


> Whoah, that's a little extreme bro! :rolleye:
> 
> Well personally i like to break out into rapping this
> 
> ...


Everyone knows "Good Aids" is a useful fat loss tool!


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

Ballin said:


> Everyone knows "Good Aids" is a useful fat loss tool!


It's not as effective as gonorrheabuterol:tongue:


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## Aldinblack (Aug 8, 2012)

Brutal1 said:


> I have tried most things mentioned there mate, The 11 year old plays football and I box, run and hit the gym, My 5 year old didnt like Thai kwon do but wants to start boxing as does the 11 year old, they seem to want to follow in my footsteps but she is completely the other way, We go swimming she never does, I want to go camping she never will, I want to go snowboarding but I know she wont, Im an active person where she wants to drink coffee and smoke then drink wine on a night time.....


so is there anything at all you have in common now ?

You must have done once.

Has she lost interest in the kids as well, I mean does she ever go out and watch the kids playing football or box ?

Or is she just having a relationship with food and / or alcohol ?

It seems to me like professional help might be required here ie marriage guidance counselling.


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## onthebuild (Sep 3, 2011)

LuLuJJ said:


> You obviously havent met the right person.. *I think my boyfriend is the most good looking person in the world*!
> 
> Sometimes he looks at me in a way that makes my knees go funny!..
> 
> But i think if he completely let himself go id be slightly put off my the lack of self control, but no i dont think there is anyone better looking than him.


Im sorry but I cant believe that!

No one, and I mean, not a single person, of the almost 7 billion people in the world, is better looking than your fella in your eyes?


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## LutherLee (Apr 30, 2010)

when is she putting tea on?


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## LuLuJJ (Jan 15, 2012)

onthebuild said:


> Im sorry but I cant believe that!
> 
> No one, and I mean, not a single person, of the almost 7 billion people in the world, is better looking than your fella in your eyes?


Honestly, hand on my heart, in my eyes no there is no one better looking.. Don't get me wrong I'm not blind I do appreciate good looking people but in complete honesty I don't see another person the same way I see him.. Not even close.


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## Brutal1 (Jan 25, 2011)

Aldinblack said:


> so is there anything at all you have in common now ?
> 
> You must have done once.
> 
> ...


Yes mate she goes to watch the kids play there sports and see there plays etc, they think the world of her and she is a great mum who would spend every penny I earn on them without a slight thought about where the pennies will come from on the future.

We used to have a lot in common, we used to go out at the weekend's and get messed up then come down all week watching crap on the telly, we used to enjoy watching the ufc together but now we very rarely enjoy the same programmes, while writing this im seeing we are very different people with very different goals in life too.

Another huge problem we have is she wants to keep renting the 4 bed house we're in at the moment while I think we should buy our own house and get the mortgage paid off, she has this idea where we just spend all our money we earn and rent for the rest of our lives. F*¥k I'm depressed now :-(


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

LuLuJJ said:


> Honestly, hand on my heart, in my eyes no there is no one better looking.. Don't get me wrong I'm not blind I do appreciate good looking people but in complete honesty I don't see another person the same way I see him.. Not even close.


I completely agree with Lulu on this one. When I'm with someone and in love I find them the most attractive person in the whole world, I think when the attraction gets bound up with feelings this happens for me and creates a different kind of attraction that is a lot more special and my eyes don't even want to wander and don't even see anyone else in that light other than the appreciation of a good looking guy. And this is coming from me! Lol!


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## 36-26 (Jun 30, 2009)

Craig660 said:


> I haven't read the whole thread but maybe you should start sprinkling dnp in her food , could save your relationship


You obviously haven't read it because the joke has been used about 3 times already. Must be the fashionable joke at the moment lol


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## 36-26 (Jun 30, 2009)

Kaywoodham said:


> She sounds really down


She sounds like Waynetta Slob is what. IMO some people are just lazy for no underlying reason and are not going to change, plenty of women around like this


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

36-26 said:


> She sounds like Waynetta Slob is what. IMO some people are just lazy for no underlying reason and are not going to change, plenty of women around like this


But she never use to be like that. When u stop doing things you enjoy and not caring what u look like its usually caused by being down.


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## 36-26 (Jun 30, 2009)

Kaywoodham said:


> But she never use to be like that. When u stop doing things you enjoy and not caring what u look like its usually caused by being down.


That's just an excuse used too often IMO. plenty of people just let themselves go out of laziness and nothing else


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## MattGriff (Aug 21, 2012)

MF88 said:


> I see someone who is more and more beautiful every day


So what you are saying is your missus is more minging today than she will be tomorrow?

www.clichebull****statements.com


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## dipdabs (Jun 14, 2012)

36-26 said:


> That's just an excuse used too often IMO. plenty of people just let themselves go out of laziness and nothing else


In some cases I agree with u but I'm sure the OP would like to try everything to fix his relationship rather than give up hope before he has done so


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## WannaGetHench (Aug 22, 2010)

has anyone told there other half straight and told them they need to lose weight?


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## 36-26 (Jun 30, 2009)

Kaywoodham said:


> In some cases I agree with u but I'm sure the OP would like to try everything to fix his relationship rather than give up hope before he has done so


Oh I agree 100% that he should really try work on it before walking away. 7 years is a lot to throw away but IMO her attitude really needs to change


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

36-26 said:


> Oh I agree 100% that he should really try work on it before walking away. 7 years is a lot to throw away but IMO her attitude really needs to change


He has a 5yo boy FFS. You don't walk away from that easily. How old are you and do you have kids?


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## 36-26 (Jun 30, 2009)

Huntingground said:


> He has a 5yo boy FFS. You don't walk away from that easily. How old are you and do you have kids?


Yes I know that's why I said he needs to work on it, did you read my post??


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

36-26 said:


> Yes I know that's why I said he needs to work on it, did you read my post??


Of course I read your post. You mentioned that they have been together 7 years but didn't mention the 5yo boy.......


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## DoIEvenLift (Feb 10, 2011)

WannaGetHench said:


> has anyone told there other half straight and told them they need to lose weight?


we will never know, as none of them were survivors. :lol:


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## 36-26 (Jun 30, 2009)

Huntingground said:


> Of course I read your post. You mentioned that they have been together 7 years but didn't mention the 5yo boy.......


I didn't mention it because it is about their relationship together, he can be a good father even if he left her that goes without saying. Staying with someone just for the sake of a child is madness and not fair on the child IMO. And yes I do have a son and in a happy relationship with his mother.


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

DoIEvenLift said:


> we will never know, as none of them were survivors. :lol:


Lol, guys that have asked that can usually be seen with every rib broken, missing teeth, shattered jaws and eyesockets in wheelchairs with their neck in a sling making pitiful whimpering noises.


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## frenchpress (Nov 22, 2012)

Brutal1 said:



> Yes mate she goes to watch the kids play there sports and see there plays etc, they think the world of her and she is a great mum who would spend every penny I earn on them without a slight thought about where the pennies will come from on the future.
> 
> We used to have a lot in common, we used to go out at the weekend's and get messed up then come down all week watching crap on the telly, we used to enjoy watching the ufc together but now we very rarely enjoy the same programmes, while writing this im seeing we are very different people with very different goals in life too.
> 
> Another huge problem we have is she wants to keep renting the 4 bed house we're in at the moment while I think we should buy our own house and get the mortgage paid off, she has this idea where we just spend all our money we earn and rent for the rest of our lives. F*¥k I'm depressed now :-(


Essentially for someone who was presumably single with a kid, she's done quite well to get a man with a bit of cash who she's had another kid with and who can rent a big four bed house with her. Kids are well provided for and she has the freedom to go see their plays, spend lots of money on them etc. And I assume enough money and free time/undemanding life to spend it enjoying food and watching tv. Lets be honest - wtf is she going to be complaining about in her present life considering how some women who end up in her position (before you) end up?

So I guess if you don't want to call her bluff and argue with her, then you need to fit what you want into her dialogue/perspective of your life. e.g. how will owning a house and paying off a mortgage be better for both of you?! Or how will her being fit be better for both of you?!

If someone feels they are in a secure situation, but they are insecure, they are going to feel pretty threatened if you try and change it and put on a hard front.


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## MF88 (Jul 1, 2012)

MattGriff said:


> So what you are saying is your missus is more minging today than she will be tomorrow?
> 
> www.clichebull****statements.com


What a stupid thing to say, grow up mate.


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## Uriel (Oct 14, 2008)

well, when i look at my bird - i want to rip her clothes off and fuk her til her legs are bandy..........

i never feel any different. Even when my ex put on the baby weight and kept it for a couple of years (the cnut soon lost it when we split........slag lol) - i still fancied the @rse off her but then i guess i loved her....

If you have gone off your bird then do the decent thing and tell the fat cnut to fuk off


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## barrowvian (Sep 6, 2008)

frenchpress said:


> If someone feels they are in a secure situation, but they are insecure, they are going to feel pretty threatened if you try and change it and put on a hard front.


I'd personally say this is one of the most useful quotes in this thread. If you just say to her bluntly that you don't like the way she looks rather than being diplomatic about it then you're going to get a defensive response from her. I'd sit down and chat to her about it, whilst still reassuring her of all her positive attributes. See how she feels and see how you can move forward with the relationship.

Failing that, kick her in the ovaries and move out!


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## Aldinblack (Aug 8, 2012)

Brutal1 said:


> Yes mate she goes to watch the kids play there sports and see there plays etc, they think the world of her and she is a great mum who would spend every penny I earn on them without a slight thought about where the pennies will come from on the future.
> 
> We used to have a lot in common, we used to go out at the weekend's and get messed up then come down all week watching crap on the telly, we used to enjoy watching the ufc together but now we very rarely enjoy the same programmes, while writing this im seeing we are very different people with very different goals in life too.
> 
> Another huge problem we have is she wants to keep renting the 4 bed house we're in at the moment while I think we should buy our own house and get the mortgage paid off, she has this idea where we just spend all our money we earn and rent for the rest of our lives. F*¥k I'm depressed now :-(


ok, so she's a great mum, spends time with the kids etc so that's a big positive - in fact probably the most important one.

So I guess it's just a case of getting on with it, she's a great mum, you're a great dad - so great ! You have you're hobbies, she has hers - fine !

You might just have accept that you're relationship with her has changed, that's not unusual IMO.

From what you've said though it does seem that the financials are bothering you, I mean if you're the main bread winner then why does she get to decide what house you live in and whether you rent or buy ? And she can spend what she likes of your money without any consideration, well that's just wrong.

I think you need to wrestle back control of the finances for a start !


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

36-26 said:


> I didn't mention it because it is about their relationship together, he can be a good father even if he left her that goes without saying. Staying with someone just for the sake of a child is madness and not fair on the child IMO. And yes I do have a son and in a happy relationship with his mother.


I've been with my missus for 8 years. I have a girl of 5 and a boy of 2. The love I feel for the kids is so much more than the love for the bird. Incomparable.


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

Uriel said:


> well, when i look at my bird - i want to rip her clothes off and fuk her til her legs are bandy..........
> 
> i never feel any different. Even when my ex put on the baby weight and kept it for a couple of years (the cnut soon lost it when we split........slag lol) - i still fancied the @rse off her but then i guess i loved her....
> 
> If you have gone off your bird then do the decent thing and tell the fat cnut to fuk off


If there's one thing i like about uriel it's the subtle gentle way he puts his point across, pmsl.


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## zack amin (Mar 13, 2012)

you sure it aint you?


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## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

warm, fuzzy and very turned on.


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

a.notherguy said:


> warm, fuzzy and very turned on.


Is this you?


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## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

madmuscles said:


> Is this you?


how did you get my pic?

you been stalking me again?


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

a.notherguy said:


> how did you get my pic?
> 
> you been stalking me again?


Aww come on, do i look like a stalker? Can't a guy enjoy unorthodox gardening without having wild accusations thrown at him? :rolleye:


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## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

madmuscles said:


> Aww come on, do i look like a stalker? *Can't a guy enjoy unorthodox gardening without having wild accusations thrown at him?* :rolleye:


only if my borders are dug to a reasonable standard


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

a.notherguy said:


> only if my borders are dug to a reasonable standard


The borders have been dug, i've even gave you a koi carp pond and built a shed with heating/lighting around that large plantation of "Exotic" 5 leaved plants with a pugnent smell that were hidden at the bottom of your garden behind the false wall:thumbup1:


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## MattGriff (Aug 21, 2012)

MF88 said:


> What a stupid thing to say, grow up mate.


A coin has two sides and I was pointing out the general lack of intellect used in not considering what else you are saying. Sadly for you it is not immaturity it is simply pointing out how ridiculous, naive and child like your statement was (and a total PDA which are generally from the weak minded) - as such your own advice should be applied to yourself.


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## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

madmuscles said:


> The borders have been dug, i've even gave you a koi carp pond and built a shed with heating/lighting around that large plantation of "Exotic" 5 leaved plants with a pugnent smell that were hidden at the bottom of your garden behind the false wall:thumbup1:


cheers mate! feel free to pull the odd bud off whist you are in my garden pulling other things off! :lol:


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## supermancss (Dec 2, 2008)

If it was a medical reason for the weight gain there would be a defence. I don't think anyone is truly happy being seriously overweight. Any progress? How about secret midnight liposuction with a scalpel and the dyson? lol


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## 36-26 (Jun 30, 2009)

Huntingground said:


> I've been with my missus for 8 years. I have a girl of 5 and a boy of 2. The love I feel for the kids is so much more than the love for the bird. Incomparable.


I agree and I am the same with my 9 year old boy


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## MF88 (Jul 1, 2012)

MattGriff said:


> A coin has two sides and I was pointing out the general lack of intellect used in not considering what else you are saying. Sadly for you it is not immaturity it is simply pointing out how ridiculous, naive and child like your statement was (and a total PDA which are generally from the weak minded) - as such your own advice should be applied to yourself.


So because I displayed affection publicly for my wife, the mother of my children, I'm weak minded? Your argument makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, how would you even come to that conclusion? No offence mate, but you seem a bit of a simpleton.


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## MattGriff (Aug 21, 2012)

MF88 said:


> So because I displayed affection publicly for my wife, the mother of my children, I'm weak minded? Your argument makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, how would you even come to that conclusion? No offence mate, but you seem a bit of a simpleton.


You have just posted a statement ignoring the logic of the two sided coin argument, made your own conclusion and then used it as a question. This is confusing to you I do not doubt.

It won't be too long before I have my PhD so you can refer to me as Dr Simpleton from then on if you don't mind. Let's just leave it amicable and at that shall we with no hard feelings.


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## MF88 (Jul 1, 2012)

MattGriff said:


> You have just posted a statement ignoring the logic of the two sided coin argument, made your own conclusion and then used it as a question. This is confusing to you I do not doubt.
> 
> It won't be too long before I have my PhD so you can refer to me as Dr Simpleton from then on if you don't mind. Let's just leave it amicable and at that shall we with no hard feelings.


Clearly not a PhD in real life mate. Good luck with it.


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## Southern Karate Guy (Feb 27, 2014)

Afraid .... shes a nurse and probably knows how to do me in without gettin caught


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

my cousins husband is leaving her for this reason, and i have to say she looks terrible, must be 18-20, 5ft 4, looks dirty,

eats constantly and always on the couch or in bed, she says shes not bothered but she will be, hes a great guy but hes had enough of her lazy assssss


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## sutmae (Sep 29, 2011)

Feel horny whenever I look at mine!!


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## LutherLee (Apr 30, 2010)

god she's lucky! :laugh:


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## Papa Lazarou (Jul 4, 2007)

Brutal1 said:


> Im going through hell trying to decide what the hell to do???
> 
> My missus of over 7 years which I have 1 wee boy to has completely given up on how she looks after herself, She eats like a pig and has a gut similar to Rab C Nesbit, she has a little bum and pretty small legs compared to the top half.
> 
> ...


Sit down, speak to her, give a chance to improve things over a good amount of time and if things don't change then you need to consider what is most important to you. A sexy GF or a happy woman and a good mother to your kids or indeed both.

Really IMO depends how you are treated at the end of the day.

I ended things with my ex who became everything your misses did plus spoke to me like utter crap and claimed things like my daughter wasn't mine and other similar head messing comments.


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