# What type of punch to defend yourself



## banjodeano (Jan 9, 2011)

Following on from a previous bullying thread, you often hear about bullied people tackling their bully, taking a deep breath and going for it, how would you punch in the hope to knock the person out, or if you were confronted by a would be attacker and you could not talk your way out of a fight, the guy is bigger than you, he is angry, your sh1t scared, and you have one shot, what would you do, ? punch to the nose, uppercut to the chin, kick in the Gonads.?


----------



## Dezw (May 13, 2009)

Kick in the balls or punch to the throat.


----------



## essexboy (Sep 7, 2008)

The Punch is governed by the situation.If the attacker is close, maybe a hook or uppercut.However, if you have to ask then you wont know how to respond effectively anyway.It takes training to respond with the correct punch combination.If your not confident and experienced, best have it on your toes.


----------



## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

Depends on the situation, whatever opportunity manifests itself


----------



## benno_2010 (Oct 8, 2010)

Punch to the throat everytime


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

The one that fu*king works !


----------



## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

A hard one


----------



## Ash1981 (Jun 16, 2009)

Sucker, rabbit or donkey


----------



## Elvis82 (Mar 23, 2012)

I used this one before.....grab their top with both hands, stand heavily on one of their feet (so they can't step back easily), then continuously headbut the [email protected] until you break their nose and remove a few teeth. Works a treat.


----------



## 31205 (Jan 16, 2013)

just go for their eyes. will struggle to get u if theyre blind!


----------



## justin case (Jul 31, 2012)

punch him on the chin as hard as you can, and then do a lightning fast evaluation of how the punch affected him on a scale of 1 to 10,....1 being like a fly just landed on his face,... 10 being him unconscious....if you reckon the effect was 5 and under run like the wind...lol


----------



## Mish (May 1, 2011)

banjodeano said:


> Following on from a previous bullying thread, you often hear about bullied people tackling their bully, taking a deep breath and going for it, how would you punch in the hope to knock the person out, or if you were confronted by a would be attacker and you could not talk your way out of a fight, the guy is bigger than you, he is angry, your sh1t scared, and you have one shot, what would you do, ? punch to the nose, uppercut to the chin, kick in the Gonads.?


----------



## QUEST (Sep 26, 2009)

windmill


----------



## Mish (May 1, 2011)

goldenballs23 said:


> Shoryuken


I believe Ryu is saying Hadukin

Fail


----------



## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)




----------



## MattGriff (Aug 21, 2012)

I am surprised the internet hard men haven't taken over, the ones who can K.O horses and cows and know all the technical expertise of a master Ninja assassin but for some reason are not earning loads as pro fighters.....funny that.


----------



## raptordog (Oct 9, 2008)

Jab and move....Jab and move..... keep your distance, fast like flurrys cause confusion and disorientation....

wait your time and then let go with the hay maker.

Failing that just bite the cnuts nose off and run like fcuk, that usually gets you a head start in the game.......


----------



## James_ (Mar 2, 2013)

Punch to the side of the chin/jaw

When punched a nerve is triggered and the cvnt will be unconscious


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

MattGriff said:


> I am surprised the internet hard men haven't taken over, the ones who can K.O horses and cows and know all the technical expertise of a master Ninja assassin but for some reason are not earning loads as pro fighters.....funny that.


Gymgym was banned mate...


----------



## banjodeano (Jan 9, 2011)

Dezw said:


> Kick in the balls or punch to the throat.


Yeah, but kick in the balls, if not delivered perfectly...your fcuked......


----------



## James_ (Mar 2, 2013)




----------



## jaycue2u (Jul 23, 2011)

Punch yourself in the face, freak them right out


----------



## Mish (May 1, 2011)

goldenballs23 said:


> I believe you need to clean your ears. :whistling:


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hadouken_(Street_Fighter)#Hadouken


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

I would slug them in the gut then bite into their cheek and attempt to dislodge an eyeball


----------



## banjodeano (Jan 9, 2011)

James_ said:


> Punch to the side of the chin/jaw
> 
> When punched a nerve is triggered and the cvnt will be unconscious


would the uppercut have more effect than straight punch to the chin.?

as mentioned before, headbutt is a good defense if someone is up close and in your face, but if your a non fighter, then it may not be easy to do correctly and quick enough to good effect :cursing:


----------



## justin case (Jul 31, 2012)

mmmmm the machismo is strong in this thread young Luke.


----------



## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

Milky said:


> Gymgym was banned mate...


:no:


----------



## James_ (Mar 2, 2013)

banjodeano said:


> would the uppercut have more effect than straight punch to the chin.?
> 
> as mentioned before, headbutt is a good defense if someone is up close and in your face, but if your a non fighter, then it may not be easy to do correctly and quick enough to good effect :cursing:


Look at the gif I posted a few posts up, a looping overhand right you can put your weight into and try and aim for the chin would be my shout.

Unless you're Floyd Mayweather I doubt enough power could be generated in an uppercut to match an overhand right


----------



## achilles88 (Aug 27, 2010)

Mish said:


> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hadouken_(Street_Fighter)#Hadouken


ryu's uppercut isn't a hadouken


----------



## Dr Manhattan (Jan 8, 2012)




----------



## JStepTricking (Mar 16, 2013)

jaycue2u said:


> Punch yourself in the face, freak them right out


I watched my friend repeatedly punching himself in the jaw when two guys started on us at a club screaming "YEAH YOU WANT SOME OF THIS? I'M CRAZY IN MY FACE!" Strangely enough they left us alone ahahahaha


----------



## banjodeano (Jan 9, 2011)

James_ said:


> Look at the gif I posted a few posts up, a looping overhand right you can put your weight into and try and aim for the chin would be my shout.
> 
> Unless you're Floyd Mayweather I doubt enough power could be generated in an uppercut to match an overhand right


Gif..? there is no gif :confused1:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

JStepTricking said:


> I watched my friend repeatedly punching himself in the jaw when two guys started on us at a club screaming "YEAH YOU WANT SOME OF THIS? I'M CRAZY IN MY FACE!" Strangely enough they left us alone ahahahaha


You got any photos of your friends penis?


----------



## JStepTricking (Mar 16, 2013)

Ashcrapper said:


> You got any photos of your friends penis?


Yeah, we have regular meet ups where we get professional shoots done


----------



## TwoCanVanDamn (Jun 22, 2012)

MattGriff said:


> I am surprised the internet hard men haven't taken over, the ones who can K.O horses and cows and know all the technical expertise of a master Ninja assassin but for some reason are not earning loads as pro fighters.....funny that.


Don't worry I'm here.

I normally go with the spinning backfist and follow it up with a tiger uppercut. Giv it a try. If you pull it off you'll be a legendary Internet hardman, just like me


----------



## justin case (Jul 31, 2012)

the thing is, you can learn any punch or head butt, or any other self defence move you like.....if you come up against a proper hard nut, it will all be for nothing....lol


----------



## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

the throat rip


----------



## TwoCanVanDamn (Jun 22, 2012)

JStepTricking said:


> Yeah, we have regular meet ups where we get professional shoots done


LMAO ashcrapper cracks me up.

Nice response also lol


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Punch em in the cvnt


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

JStepTricking said:


> Yeah, we have regular meet ups where we get professional shoots done


Can I have some


----------



## JStepTricking (Mar 16, 2013)

Ashcrapper said:


> Can I have some


Atleast buy me dinner first


----------



## 25434 (Dec 27, 2011)

I think it depends on the situation. A few years ago a guy jumped out on me from between two garages as I was walking past and although I have studied marshall arts all I could do was to kick him in the nuts then stick my fingers in his eyes...I then ran like hell down the road and threw up in a very inelegant manner over someones shrub...as you do.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

JStepTricking said:


> Atleast buy me dinner first


Seems fair. I'm not going to perform oral sex on you though. I would like to make that clear from the outset


----------



## JStepTricking (Mar 16, 2013)

Ashcrapper said:


> Seems fair. I'm not going to perform oral sex on you though. I would like to make that clear from the outset


Deals off.


----------



## Cookie-raider (Mar 15, 2013)

Got into I bit of a confrontational with a girl who was bullying my older sister (she's fat and a wimp)

Dunno if it has any funny name but I stick a finger up each of her nostrils with one hand and thumped her in the bridge with the other-took her straight down and stamped on the back of her

Safe to say I was suspended from school but my sister went on to enjoy the rest of her school time!


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

I'll fight you


----------



## marknorthumbria (Oct 1, 2009)

I've been cautioned for section 59 with ABH, It was complete self defence. The lad come at me with his top off and screaming...on camera..

But aparantly my superman punch before he got to me wasn't self defence


----------



## mojo-jojo (Jul 8, 2012)

A punch to the chin


----------



## Cookie-raider (Mar 15, 2013)

Ashcrapper said:


> I'll fight you


Fight who?


----------



## JStepTricking (Mar 16, 2013)

If you need to get away from the situation, a good old toe punt to the shin will buy any person enough time to get away I reckon, that sh*t hurts so much!


----------



## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

Cookie-raider said:


> Got into I bit of a confrontational with a girl who was bullying my older sister (she's fat and a wimp)
> 
> Dunno if it has any funny name but I stick a finger up each of her nostrils with one hand and thumped her in the bridge with the other-took her straight down and stamped on the back of her
> 
> Safe to say I was suspended from school but my sister went on to enjoy the rest of her school time!


The double finger nasal takedown...legendary.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Cookie-raider said:


> Fight who?


Not you, meant him. Been sending me disgusting photos of himself. Had enough of it


----------



## Cookie-raider (Mar 15, 2013)

Ashcrapper said:


> Not you, meant him. Been sending me disgusting photos of himself. Had enough of it


Pmsl fair call


----------



## JStepTricking (Mar 16, 2013)

Ashcrapper said:


> Not you, meant him. Been sending me disgusting photos of himself. Had enough of it




You're just upset the photo's weren't really me.


----------



## huarache (May 28, 2012)

James_ said:


>


jesus christ our lord almighty have heavenly mercy.

that is a smack


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

JStepTricking said:


> View attachment 114958
> 
> 
> You're just upset the photo's weren't really me.


Stop it


----------



## JStepTricking (Mar 16, 2013)

Ashcrapper said:


> Stop it


Sorry, please don't punch me :crying:


----------



## 31205 (Jan 16, 2013)

the incredible mr goodwin knocked a big guy out with 2 fingers to the middle of his chest.. just a thought.


----------



## BigTrev (Mar 16, 2008)

Its got nothing to do with where to punch its all about the confidence to punch.

Once thats learnt youll automatically just do it without even thinking twice.

Best weapon you can do is join MMA or any marshal arts class as thats how anyone learns to


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Good advice there Trev, if people want to learn how to punch take up a sport that teaches you how to fight


----------



## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

MattGriff said:


> I am surprised the internet hard men haven't taken over, the ones who can K.O horses and cows and know all the technical expertise of a master Ninja assassin but for some reason are not earning loads as pro fighters.....funny that.


Ive been head butted by my mare and it knocked me clean off my feet, fcuking flew i did!! And shes not even fully made up yet so if anyone does think they can knock out a horse ive a girl that will fcuk you right up 

Anyway i dont believe i have ever been in a fight were i can recall selecting certain punches, ive certainly thrown a few over the years and mostly to good effect but i couldnt for the life of me tell you what they were


----------



## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

Ashcrapper said:


> Good advice there Trev, if people want to learn how to punch take up a sport that teaches you how to fight


like cycling?


----------



## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

marknorthumbria said:


> I've been cautioned for section 59 with ABH, It was complete self defence. The lad come at me with his top off and screaming...on camera..
> 
> But aparantly my superman punch before he got to me wasn't self defence


The Ukm killers are gathering!


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish (Mar 18, 2011)

Why throw fancy punches when you can use a nightstick? I've found enough to go round..


----------



## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

If it was someone I really hated.. like an old bully.. I wouldn't punch.. that's the cowards way out. You need to leave something lasting. Cup your hand and land a swinging b1tch slap right across their chops and if you can catch the ear drum too then perfect. Either that or kick em in the bollox


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

cover yuorself in **** and slap yourself round the face...nromally the other guy will run away


----------



## lxm (Jul 26, 2011)

legally you can use any type of strike if you can justify it.

Open palm strikes are defensive enough


----------



## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

is everyone on here's school bully like nelson from the simpsons?

all the "bullies" from my school all turned into pretty serious people serving up gear etc and being a lot more naughty than they were at school, if you hit one of them now they'd be round your gaff the next day holding a gun in your face

i don't get the threads where people say they work out to get bigger because of bullies at school or even got into mma, boxing etc so they could fight, nowadays and even in the 90's when i was a teenager everyone had a little firm they hung about with and tear ups always turned into everyone jumping in smashing eachother to pieces with your belt buckle wrapped round your hand (good old days lol) doesn't matter how big you are or how well you can fight then when everyon'es beating the sh1t out of eachother with sticks

i remember the "hardest" kid in my secondary school, he used to hang about with the local crime family, a dying breed these days the crime families from areas that own a load of pubs etc, anyway i never remember him having 1 single fight for 5 years but everyone was terrified of him, he was about 5'6, medium build.

tbh people who got bullied don't seem to get it's not about how big you are or how well you can fight, it's about what you're willing to do, everyone gets scared, that's something you have to deal with yourself, if that fear lets other people walk all over you then you're a soft target and you'll keep getting walked all over, no one wants to p1ck on the cnut who just keeps coming back for more, there was this kid at school, bit of a tramp, small kid, could'nt fight to save his life, not very popular, used to smell of p1ss (yeah it was me :whistling: ) and no one used to fcuk with him because he would just have it and have it with you even though he could'nt fight to save his life and had no size about him if you started on him you'd have to kill the cnut to stop him he just would'nt stand for it, no bully wants that agg.

if anyone was the perfect target for a bully it was this kid, and even though he couldn't fight and was tiny and didn't really have any friends to back him up he laid down his marker early in school and no one ever fcuked with him


----------



## ClarkyBoy (Sep 24, 2012)

Multiple punches in quick succession generally do the trick for me, or grab em and drop your forehead on the bridge of their nose, whenever I've done that no one has ever got up very quickly from it.


----------



## Hayesy (Aug 15, 2011)

Is response to the titled thread...one that leaves the cnut sparko out cold covered in his own sh!t and p!ss!!!


----------



## Aggression (Apr 13, 2009)

A shoryuken (dragon punch) should do the trick.

Well it never let me down on Street Fighter anyway.


----------



## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

Knockout punch i.e. side on to the jaw.. best to knock them out and look tough than punch them in the throat, pi*ss* them off and get an extra hard beating!


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

Smitch said:


> Punch em in the cvnt


What a vile little man. I hope his willy falls off.


----------



## Hayesy (Aug 15, 2011)

Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.

this is my preferred weapon of choice


----------



## Sku11fk (Aug 28, 2012)

This would be cool if I could select this move, my moves list doesn't include this one though DOH!


----------



## MF88 (Jul 1, 2012)

Smash him in the solar plexus, stop the bastard breathing, then a sly boot to the ribs if you really don't like him.


----------



## Super_G (Feb 20, 2012)

banjodeano said:


> Following on from a previous bullying thread, you often hear about bullied people tackling their bully, taking a deep breath and going for it, how would you punch in the hope to knock the person out, or if you were confronted by a would be attacker and you could not talk your way out of a fight, the guy is bigger than you, he is angry, your sh1t scared, and you have one shot, what would you do, ? punch to the nose, uppercut to the chin, kick in the Gonads.?




I'd pick a Shoryuken...... :lol:


----------



## Hayesy (Aug 15, 2011)

Sku11fk said:


> This would be cool if I could select this move, my moves list doesn't include this one though DOH!


Seen this the other day, fuker went down lick a sack of spuds...


----------



## Sku11fk (Aug 28, 2012)

Hayesy said:


> Seen this the other day, fuker went down lick a sack of spuds...


Uriah Hall is tipped to win I recon, everyone seems scared of him in the house and I bet those types don't scare easy.


----------



## trololoDROL (Jan 27, 2013)

James_ said:


> Look at the gif I posted a few posts up, a looping overhand right you can put your weight into and try and aim for the chin would be my shout.
> 
> Unless you're Floyd Mayweather I doubt enough power could be generated in an uppercut to match an overhand right


mike tyson had more power in his uppercut than his overhand right. and floyd mayweather cant fight for sh*t... he can just box very very well. mayweather has just had one proper knockout in his whole career and that was against victor ortiz, watch the fight, 4th round i think. watch what the cvnt did.


----------



## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

Stick your finger up their bum. If it can force a rabid pitbull to release a bloodied toddler it should be good for persuading a bully to return your lunch money.


----------



## Hayesy (Aug 15, 2011)

Sku11fk said:


> Uriah Hall is tipped to win I recon, everyone seems scared of him in the house and I bet those types don't scare easy.


Totally agree mate, guys a freak!!


----------



## raptordog (Oct 9, 2008)

The best way is the five-point-palm-exploding-heart technique........... :thumbup1:


----------



## ClarkyBoy (Sep 24, 2012)

Hayesy said:


> Totally agree mate, guys a freak!!


Here's hoping he sparks out that cock Bubba. Can't stand that bell end!!!


----------



## Zola (Mar 14, 2012)

Right on the chin, or a solid haymaker to the ribs and then an uppercut to the chin :thumb:

If not a downward out outward kick on the knee, a uppercut and a push kick to the sternum, then off with you.

Best doing neither of those and settling it in a civil manner though..


----------



## johnnyg (Nov 28, 2010)

spark the cnut out, haymaker to the chin, stay the fcuk down you ****


----------



## essexboy (Sep 7, 2008)

I love all the technical advice.However,there is far more in the equation to be considered.Fear, confidence, disregard for the possible outcome(death, prison etc)and that lovely big spurt of andrenalin that kicks in.

All you experienced fighters.Remember that fight you trained for? All those months of technical and fitness training, to turn you into an efficient

combatant? What happened when you walked into the ring and the bell went? If you have to ask you havent done it..................


----------



## essexboy (Sep 7, 2008)

Hayesy said:


> Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
> 
> this is my preferred weapon of choice


I reckon I could kick faster before one of those low energy lights come on.The fu.ckers take twenty minute to light after youve hit the switch.


----------



## johnnyg (Nov 28, 2010)

essexboy said:


> I love all the technical advice.However,there is far more in the equation to be considered.Fear, confidence, disregard for the possible outcome(death, prison etc)and that lovely big spurt of andrenalin that kicks in.
> 
> All you experienced fighters.Remember that fight you trained for? All those months of technical and fitness training, to turn you into an efficient
> 
> combatant? What happened when you walked into the ring and the bell went? If you have to ask you havent done it..................


very true, things can change dramiticaly when the **** hits the fan, i sometimes get very nervous coz i actually fighting, but then it all changes if he throws the first hook


----------



## Ricky12345 (Jun 13, 2012)

Allways a head butt best things ever much more effective than a punch IMO


----------



## Zola (Mar 14, 2012)

essexboy said:


> I love all the technical advice.However,there is far more in the equation to be considered.Fear, confidence, disregard for the possible outcome(death, prison etc)and that lovely big spurt of andrenalin that kicks in.
> 
> All you experienced fighters.Remember that fight you trained for? All those months of technical and fitness training, to turn you into an efficient
> 
> combatant? What happened when you walked into the ring and the bell went? If you have to ask you havent done it..................


You use the first round to try a few things cautiously and then the remaining rounds to exploit his weaknesses. Panic and fear get you nowhere.


----------



## Zola (Mar 14, 2012)

Ricky12345 said:


> Allways a head butt best things ever much more effective than a punch IMO


Right in the snozz! Hard to defend it to be fair :lol:


----------



## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

Funniest sh1t iv read in ages this thread! This site seems to have more mma fighters, silent assassins, Jackie chans and Mike tysons than any chuck Norris film iv ever seen.


----------



## banjodeano (Jan 9, 2011)

Ricky12345 said:


> Allways a head butt best things ever much more effective than a punch IMO


I had a disagreement with my neighbour once over a boundary fence, he was up close into my face in a threatening manner, i thought it was going to lead to a fight, so i was trying to figure out in seconds whether i should get in first and put the nut on him, he was so close it would have been delivered in a split second, but i stayed calm and talked it through, and we both walked away...but the thing is, if it had gone down the fight route, and we came to blows and i let him land the first knock, then i missed out with the head butt and could have had it all wrapped up....anyway, it ended peacefully so i guess it was the right decision to talk....its a weird decision to make, and where your not a natural fighter, it makes it even harder


----------



## dentylad (Nov 19, 2011)

Use the palms of your hands, the power from this to the skull or nose can easily render some1 fckd. Personally get 2 fingers and jab the cnunt where you usually feel the pulse on someones neck just under back part of jaw. Go bloody canny though, too hard and they die of internal injuries :whistling:


----------



## Zola (Mar 14, 2012)

Gary29 said:


> Funniest sh1t iv read in ages this thread! This site seems to have more mma fighters, silent assassins, Jackie chans and Mike tysons than any chuck Norris film iv ever seen.












Any advice needed just PM me, keen rates for top advice.


----------



## essexboy (Sep 7, 2008)

Zola said:


> You use the first round to try a few things cautiously and then the remaining rounds to exploit his weaknesses. Panic and fear get you nowhere.


What if you getting a severe beating.Your nose has gone, your ribs are stinging and youve been on your ****. your opponent is faster and your unable to avoid punches.In other words your totally outclassed.Its not a sparring session, so hes not going to let up. Then what? Panic and fear WILL set in.Unless of course your Bruceimhardasnailslee. Naturally im talking about the real world here.Not fighting on an x box.


----------



## dentylad (Nov 19, 2011)

If its life or death, scratch bite stamp and whatever you need to do to survive, blind or grab man sack twist and pull!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Ricky12345 (Jun 13, 2012)

Zola said:


> Right in the snozz! Hard to defend it to be fair :lol:


Lol I once went for the kill and the bloke done the same both sorta butted each outher ****ing hell I must say that hurt and I come off worse lol


----------



## justin case (Jul 31, 2012)

isn't this thread rather academic in the present times we are living in, when you are more likely to get a knife in you than a good old fashioned clenched fist?


----------



## danbird (Mar 3, 2013)

anywhere on the jawline for a knockout


----------



## Zola (Mar 14, 2012)

essexboy said:


> What if you getting a severe beating.Your nose has gone, your ribs are stinging and youve been on your ****. your opponent is faster and your unable to avoid punches.In other words your totally outclassed.Its not a sparring session, so hes not going to let up. Then what? Panic and fear WILL set in.Unless of course your Bruceimhardasnailslee. Naturally im talking about the real world here.Not fighting on an x box.


Well then you better land a good dig or be prepared to kiss the canvas.


----------



## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)




----------



## banjodeano (Jan 9, 2011)

WilsonR6 said:


>


Foooooooking hell....................it took his face off


----------



## iamyou (Oct 29, 2012)

Preferably elbow if close enough (old thai boxing habits). Nobody expects that. It's perfect when they try to act tough and come near your face. If you're sober and know how to deliver a proper elbow strike you can dig out a nice chunk of meat.


----------



## JayMc (Jul 8, 2010)

banjodeano said:


> Foooooooking hell....................it took his face off


Nice of him to put him in the recovery position instead of jumping all over his head like some sly ****ers would.

Booming slap though heavy handed ****


----------



## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

Gary29 said:


> Funniest sh1t iv read in ages this thread! This site seems to have more mma fighters, silent assassins, Jackie chans and Mike tysons than any chuck Norris film iv ever seen.


well it's not a fcukin chess forum is it :whistling:


----------



## Tomkc (Mar 5, 2013)

Forearm straight to the nose and follow it up... thats the mistake people make 1 punch is not enough in most cases but 2 or 3 sorts most


----------



## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

Ram your fingers in his mouth, propel your body forward & take him down. This will rip his cheek away from the bone & stop him instantly.

I know this sounds violent, but in an extreme situation you have to defend yourself at all costs.

If you chop his throat & fracture his windpipe it could kill him.


----------



## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

marknorthumbria said:


> I've been cautioned for section 59 with ABH, It was complete self defence. The lad come at me with his top off and screaming...on camera..
> 
> But aparantly my superman punch before he got to me wasn't self defence


U idiot you didn't lot him knock you out before you defended yourself.

Should of let him hit you at least 4-5 times to be sure he wasn't gonna stop after the first few.

For me it's either a head butt or swing as much weight into a punch on the chin as I can and hope for the best


----------



## Hayesy (Aug 15, 2011)

gycraig said:


> U idiot you didn't lot him knock you out before you defended yourself.
> 
> Should of let him hit you at least 4-5 times to be sure he wasn't gonna stop after the first few.
> 
> For me it's either a head butt or swing as much weight into a punch on the chin as I can and hope for the best


This happened to me one night, walking to get a cab home with my mate and this fat fuker came from nowhere and hit me with a belt buckle, as i clocked him a bizzie came by on a horse and i spent the night in the slammer and got a lovely 80quid fine!!


----------



## Scotty-boi (Apr 19, 2012)

Big hit square in the top lip! Works a treat. Lots of nerve endings!

Failing that, straight on the snout. No ****er can concentrate while their eyes are watering!


----------



## powerhousepeter (Dec 4, 2010)

Straight palm to the nose bridge...miyagi style


----------



## powerhousepeter (Dec 4, 2010)

Usually any punch with force to the chin/side chin will put anyone down


----------



## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

Hayesy said:


> This happened to me one night, walking to get a cab home with my mate and this fat fuker came from nowhere and hit me with a belt buckle, as i clocked him a bizzie came by on a horse and i spent the night in the slammer and got a lovely 80quid fine!!


rediculous aint it

my grandad a few years ago got in trouble because some **** started banging on his door while he had my cousin there as a baby and his wife, he was meant to be at work but had taken it off, guy was shouting threats / obscenities, my grandad rang the police they said it would be a while as was new years eve, my grandad opened the door knocked him out then closed the door again.

apparently he didnt "cross the threshold" :S

my grandads a **** tho also got in trouble for attacking a yorkie bus driver who parked on his front, when told in court that the 22 passengers disagreed with his statement he said "there fking yorkies there gonna stick together"


----------



## Harrison21 (Dec 24, 2012)

Everytime I've had to defend myself I've just suplex'd them to the concrete floor haha, might do some boxing training for when I start cutting


----------



## jMirin (Mar 22, 2013)

ash1981 said:


> Sucker, rabbit or donkey


I tried to donkey punch in a fight once..

I lost.


----------



## SugaDaddy (Mar 22, 2013)

Dim Mak = Game Over

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v391/rlsscsa/RashadEvansKTFO.jpg


----------



## Ash1981 (Jun 16, 2009)

jMirin said:


> I tried to donkey punch in a fight once..
> 
> I lost.


Donkey punch is my fave


----------



## MattGriff (Aug 21, 2012)

lukeee said:


> Ive been head butted by my mare and it knocked me clean off my feet, fcuking flew i did!! And shes not even fully made up yet so if anyone does think they can knock out a horse ive a girl that will fcuk you right up
> 
> Anyway i dont believe i have ever been in a fight were i can recall selecting certain punches, ive certainly thrown a few over the years and mostly to good effect but i couldnt for the life of me tell you what they were


I can believe it, the colt on the farm has sent me stumbling more than once and I am 21stoneish. People do not realize how big and strong they are.

Really? Whenever I fight a map of certain punches to select comes into my vision like I am in a computer game, I select down, right left circle and deliver my famous falcon punch,


----------



## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Some interesting theories on here. I'm intrigued by all the calls for the head butt's though. As someone who gets paid to defend people physically it's the last thing I would advise anyone to do for the simple fact that your head contains your brain and you can quite easily knock yourself out or do yourself some pretty severe damage by throwing a head butt. In a situation of self defence/self preservation I couldn't think of anything worse!!

To the original question though, it's impossible to answer realistically, as any situation involving violence is a fluid one and changes dramatically from person to person due to the many variables involved.


----------



## Stunner (Sep 11, 2012)

Hayesy said:


> Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
> 
> this is my preferred weapon of choice


----------



## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

MattGriff said:


> I can believe it, the colt on the farm has sent me stumbling more than once and I am 21stoneish. People do not realize how big and strong they are.
> 
> Really? Whenever I fight a map of certain punches to select comes into my vision like I am in a computer game, I select down, right left circle and deliver my famous falcon punch,


ex girlfriends cob stood on my foot by accident i was nearly crying, it used to eat the other horses food, it respected the ex but not me.

i had to feed them one morning it ate all its own food then went for the other horses food i tried to block it, it just ran through me as if i wasnt there i ended up on the floor in a heap.

had to literally run up and should barge the fkign thing to get it to leave the others ones food


----------



## HAWKUS (Jan 11, 2012)

Dont head hunt...most peoples biggest mistake in fighting of any sort,wether its simply self defence...punching someone in the face is not always the best option,hit someone in the stomach when they arnt expecting it and theres a good chance there staying down for longer than what they are with a punch to the face.


----------



## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

Arm yourself with a highly dangerous triangular flapjack:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-21923218


----------



## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Ian_Montrose said:


> Arm yourself with a highly dangerous triangular flapjack:
> 
> http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-21923218


That is ridiculous isn't it! I find it a sad state of affairs that the school seem to think the better option is to make some crazy rule about the shape of food to make it less harmfull when thrown rather than tackling the problem of some little scrote throwing food in the first place!


----------



## Little stu (Oct 26, 2011)

Fighting is never an option just hit him with a bat lol


----------



## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

Spit in face, kick in balls, elbow driven straight into their nose...... in that order


----------



## The Cheese (Sep 22, 2012)

Hayesy said:


> This happened to me one night, walking to get a cab home with my mate and this fat fuker came from nowhere and hit me with a belt buckle


I'm not fat, you toe-rag.

Just big boned.


----------



## no-way (Oct 14, 2012)

jaycue2u said:


> Punch yourself in the face, freak them right out


This. Nobody wants to fight a crazy...


----------



## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

mikep81 said:


> That is ridiculous isn't it! I find it a sad state of affairs that the school seem to think the better option is to make some crazy rule about the shape of food to make it less harmfull when thrown rather than tackling the problem of some little scrote throwing food in the first place!


Totally agree. However, it does make you wonder how much damage you could do with a high calibre Toblerone on full auto.


----------



## Cactus87 (Mar 30, 2009)

Last time I got in a fight was when a gang of chav guys and girls decided to start on me and my girlfriend in a corner of a pub. With no way of getting away from them I done a pretty superb jumping uppercut from my chair and knocked the ring leader over the back of a chair that was behind him, he done an almost full back flip and with my momentum I went over the back of the chair with him and landed on top of him with a headlock. Unfortunately my momentum was so fast that when i flipped over the chair with him I also skidded across the floor on my face but like **** was I letting go of his head! This was before I had joined a gym or lifted a weight and was a stone lighter. I felt pretty damn good about myself. :cool2: :thumbup1:


----------



## Big Kris (Aug 25, 2009)

Donkey punch every time!!


----------



## cudsyaj (Jul 5, 2011)

spit in their face quickly and they'll momentarily blink and follow that straight up with the hardest punch you can to their nose.

THE RUN LIKE FCUK!!!

p.s I don't condone spitting on anyone for any reason!!


----------



## Juddyy (Mar 11, 2013)

Pretty dangerous to punch someone, don't want to knock them out and have them hit their head. Personally I'd just go for a takedown, control the dude on the ground until he realises what a tit he is. End of the day in a fight you're either trained or untrained - if you're in the second group much better to just leave it.


----------



## jon-kent (May 20, 2011)

In a crowded pub or club with no room only this will work in the real world !










Allthough it'll look more like this really


----------



## BLUE(UK) (Jan 9, 2008)

I have a century Bob, but that aint me in the Gif....honestly!! :lol:


----------



## jon-kent (May 20, 2011)

BLUE(UK) said:


> I have a century Bob, but that aint me in the Gif....honestly!! :lol:


You need to put a balaclava on him !!


----------



## BLUE(UK) (Jan 9, 2008)

Juddyy said:


> Pretty dangerous to punch someone, don't want to knock them out and have them hit their head. Personally I'd just go for a takedown, control the dude on the ground until he realises what a tit he is. End of the day in a fight you're either trained or untrained - if you're in the second group much better to just leave it.


Are you for real?

The person could hit their head during the 'take down' or he could have his mates in tow.

If the person is off their head on drugs, a 'take down' is the stupidest thing one could do IMO.


----------



## Snorbitz1uk (Sep 21, 2005)

i always carry a gun so i just shoot anyone who annoys me. especially old people in supermarkets at the tills taking too long to load there bags up when i am in a rush


----------



## BLUE(UK) (Jan 9, 2008)

jon-kent said:


> You need to put a balaclava on him !!


I did. h34r:


----------



## Juddyy (Mar 11, 2013)

BLUE(UK) said:


> Are you for real?
> 
> The person could hit their head during the 'take down' or he could have his mates in tow.
> 
> If the person is off their head on drugs, a 'take down' is the stupidest thing one could do IMO.


Why would you be trying to fight a group of people? Doesn't matter what skills you've got if you're going up against more than one person chances are you're going to get your head kicked in. I'm guessing you've got no actual grappling experience or ability since if you did you'd be aware how easy it is to control a lamen on the floor regardless of if they're off their head on drugs or have a size advantage, and if they are off their head and refuse to see sense it's pretty easy to choke them out and let them wake up a pool of their own **** and ****.


----------



## Cactus87 (Mar 30, 2009)

Most people will only punch someone in a fight or flight situation. You're all thinking way too hard about this as when it comes down to it you just throw a punch and hope it connects.


----------



## Clubber Lang (Nov 4, 2009)

right upper cut, with a duster on.

Game over


----------



## BLUE(UK) (Jan 9, 2008)

Juddyy said:


> Why would you be trying to fight a group of people? Doesn't matter what skills you've got if you're going up against more than one person chances are you're going to get your head kicked in. I'm guessing you've got no actual grappling experience or ability since if you did you'd be aware how easy it is to control a lamen on the floor regardless of if they're off their head on drugs or have a size advantage, and if they are off their head and refuse to see sense it's pretty easy to choke them out and let them wake up a pool of their own **** and ****.


Edited because I sound like an internet 'ardman!!


----------



## jon-kent (May 20, 2011)

Juddyy said:


> Why would you be trying to fight a group of people? Doesn't matter what skills you've got if you're going up against more than one person chances are you're going to get your head kicked in. I'm guessing you've got no actual grappling experience or ability since if you did you'd be aware how easy it is to control a lamen on the floor regardless of if they're off their head on drugs or have a size advantage, and if they are off their head and refuse to see sense it's pretty easy to choke them out and let them wake up a pool of their own **** and ****.


Lol ! I assure you my grappling is good but going on the ground in a street fight is asking for one of his friends to take a penalty kick with your head !


----------



## BLUE(UK) (Jan 9, 2008)

Clubber Lang said:


> right upper cut, with a duster on.
> 
> Game over


Edited because I sound like an internet 'ardman!!


----------



## BLUE(UK) (Jan 9, 2008)

jon-kent said:


> Lol ! I assure you my grappling is good but going on the ground in a street fight is asking for one of his friends to take a penalty kick with your head !


Thank you.


----------



## jon-kent (May 20, 2011)

BLUE(UK) said:


> Thank you.


----------



## Juddyy (Mar 11, 2013)

jon-kent said:


> Lol ! I assure you my grappling is good but going on the ground in a street fight is asking for one of his friends to take a penalty kick with your head !


Still not sure why you're trying to be a hero and fight multiple people, to each their own I guess.


----------



## BLUE(UK) (Jan 9, 2008)

Juddyy said:


> Still not sure why you're trying to be a hero and fight multiple people, to each their own I guess.


If one is about to defend themselves, they don't always get a choice on how many they are going to fight.


----------



## jon-kent (May 20, 2011)

Juddyy said:


> Still not sure why you're trying to be a hero and fight multiple people, to each their own I guess.


What ? Hero ? There talking about being jumped arnt they ? Not a normal 1 on 1 ! How many fair street fights have you seen without friends jumping in lol


----------



## Juddyy (Mar 11, 2013)

BLUE(UK) said:


> If one is about to defend themselves, they don't always get a choice on how many they are going to fight.


Much better to run off if you're out numbered and suspect you might be put in a situation where you'd need to defend yourself; can always call some friends and go back with more even numbers.


----------



## Zola (Mar 14, 2012)

Thats why us ninja all carry smoke bombs when we go out, only the true ninja understands the importance of evasion when the time comes.


----------



## stone14 (Mar 24, 2005)

banjodeano said:


> Following on from a previous bullying thread, you often hear about bullied people tackling their bully, taking a deep breath and going for it, how would you punch in the hope to knock the person out, or if you were confronted by a would be attacker and you could not talk your way out of a fight, the guy is bigger than you, he is angry, your sh1t scared, and you have one shot, what would you do, ? punch to the nose, uppercut to the chin, kick in the Gonads.?


big swing to the chin, rugby tackle to floor then thumbs to back of eye balls then ''pop'' :thumb:


----------



## anabolik (Aug 19, 2010)

Love this video


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 9, 2012)

Ian_Montrose said:


> Arm yourself with a highly dangerous triangular flapjack:
> 
> http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-21923218


I heard this on the radio and thought they were joking! How on earth is a triangular flapjack any more dangerous than a square one?


----------



## Cookie-raider (Mar 15, 2013)

[email protected] said:


> I heard this on the radio and thought they were joking! How on earth is a triangular flapjack any more dangerous than a square one?


It has a bigger point lol


----------



## Clubber Lang (Nov 4, 2009)

anabolik said:


> Love this video


LOL, saw that years ago, still makes me laugh. Those two lads got proper hammered!! lol.


----------



## Sambuca (Jul 25, 2012)




----------



## Zola (Mar 14, 2012)




----------



## Stunner (Sep 11, 2012)

mikep81 said:


> To the original question though, it's impossible to answer realistically, as any situation involving violence is a fluid one and changes dramatically from person to person due to the many variables involved.


Wise words!

Fighting is the last resort of self-protection there are so many things that you can do to protect yourself before the fighting stage. It could be something as simply locking your door as soon as you get in your car before even putting the keys into the ignition to walking with your head held high and not looking like a victim.

A few points that may help protect you. Take it or leave it.


Number 1 rule is always try to be aware - Google Cooper's colour code - you always want to be in the colour/condition yellow. The sooner you sense the danger the more options you have to choose from. E.g. don't be texting your mate while listening to your IPod when walking home at 2am after consuming 10 pints! This would be condition white, as would sleeping.

If you can evade the danger do it, even if this dents your ego, save the fighting when you are unable to evade or have been ambushed. He who runs away runs away another day!

Don't be going to a pub or other venue that you know that someone gets threw out of the window or glassed every Saturday night.

You may be able to talk down an aggressor. "Sorry mate I wasn't staring at your girl I was in a daze. Can I buy you a pint?" - If the person is a predator and not just an angry desperado that's had a bad day this probably not going to work btw.

Make sure your hands are up near your face when someone is giving you any type of grief. Try to do this in a non-threatening way like talking with your hands, folding your arms lightly but not a boxing stance (unless you can box).

Never let your aggressor inside personal space (arms length) if you can touch him he can touch you!

Turn your groin/torso side-on to protect 'the boys' and make yourself a smaller target when doing all of the above.

If a person is giving you grief that person has already decided he has the advantage for whatever reason (they are bigger, are a boxer/martial artist/brawler or they have 20 mates backing them up etc) and in his head you are prey to them. If it kicks off you want to turn the predator-prey relationship the other way around as soon as possible and make them believe they have maybe bitten off more than they can chew. Bullies are generally cowards. You can only do this by being equally or more aggressive than him when fighting back after it kicks off.

Never ever go to the ground and if you do try to get up ASAP always facing your attacker so if you fail to get up at least you're facing up towards them again. Keep your hands near your face and one leg cocked back ready to fire towards a shin/kneecap.

If the situation lends itself, hit hard, hit first and keep hitting until you can evade, using dialogue to distract them when making the first move if possible. E.g. engage their brain by asking them a question then wallop!!!

No matter how BIG they are the eyes, throat, kneecaps, shins & groin are vulnerable areas. My 2 years old daughter's eye balls are the same strength as BigTrev's eyes balls.

If there are multiple attackers you're probably screwed. Lol. Try to break the will of the group. You may be able to evade if you do this. This maybe can be achieved by taking out the biggest guy or the guy you think that may be the leader or damaging enough of them that the others keep back because they think oh golly this person is dangerous. The leader is usually the 'mouth' of the group. Always strike the person at the end, never sandwich yourself in between attackers if possible.

Be prepared that your fight may only start after your picking yourself off the ground and have just spat out your 2 front teeth.

If you're loosing or feel like your falling unconscious, sense a loss of blood, losing your willpower to carry on people should try to remember why your fighting. Your fighting not just for damage limitation on your own body, you are fighting to get home to the thing you love most in this entire world. This is usually a mother/father or child. Imagine now how they would feel if you are left for dead, brain damaged etc.

When you're striking you need to strike *HARD* the only way to do this is practice before hand. Get yourself some lessons, even it's a few.

Initially the closest weapon to nearest target when attacking, be it an elbow, gouge, rip, knee, bite. Whatever it is do it hard, very hard and as nasty as possible. Don't pull your whatever you have delivered, use some other part of your body that already cocked and ready to fire. With this you need to near always move forward getting as much bodyweight you can muster behind what you are doing. This should send your aggressor backward, lending itself the the predator/prey reversal.

If people are serious about protecting themselves they need to find somewhere that teaches this sort of thing and train in it for real not just learn it from a book or this thread.


NOTE: Fear is just adrenaline. It has allowed the human race to survive 20,000 years because it makes us stronger and faster, but the rush of adrenaline only lasts for around 20 or 30 seconds then its down to pure fitness after that. Use that adrenaline to either give it all you've got when engaged in conflict or use it to flight and run off at 10,000mph. Try to do one or the other, do not just stand there like a donkey and do nothing hoping everything is going to be okay. Its a fact that psychologically you will be better off in the years to come assuming you survive. Win or *lose* if you fight back when getting assaulted. Try to avoid doing nothing but rolling into the foetal position and getting the crap kicked out of you. Even if you do freeze and this happens don't beat yourself up over it. Just be happy in the fact you have survived and the person who you love the most still has you around.

I personally think the psychological & physiological pressure of someone being proper aggressive and in your face is what beats most people. In 99% of martial arts classes no one uses language like "You ****ing (Choose one - black, ******, paddy, Scottish, English, Welsh, paki, fat, baldy, bitch) bastard" or "Right bitch get down that alley and get your ****ing knickers off!" A fireman needs to feel the heat, taste/smell the smoke in order to be effective at fighting fires. A person need to be subjected to this type of mental pressure as well as the physical pressure otherwise they have a physiological/psychological void when it happens for real. If they haven't experience both most people will be thinking about is "Oh holy dog sh1t, is this really happening to me" and not delivering move 366 out of the bag to the aggressors testicles.

Now...protecting yourself against an attacker armed with an edged weapon, blunt weapon or a firearm is a whole different kettle of fish and frankly I think I have said too much above already. I will finish thou with if you decide to take on someone with a weapon you need to decide very quickly *is it worth it*! If you don't get the choice you must secure the weapon arm if possible at the earliest opportunity using dialogue to disarm them for a split second as mentioned above, but more importantly you need to shut them down ASAP. If in the conflict you see/feel blood just expect it to be your own and step up the whole violence thing a gear and end it quickly and then get our of dodge!!! The chances of someone getting attacked is probably 0.0001% but its what you actually do in that 0.0001% will determine how you will look and feel for the rest of your life.

I hope this makes sense.

Peace, love, joy & happiness&#8230;


----------



## Stunner (Sep 11, 2012)

You also could get yourselves a PAT (Protect Attack Toddler) for you're protection.... :thumb:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Stunner said:


> Wise words!
> 
> Fighting is the last resort of self-protection there are so many things that you can do to protect yourself before the fighting stage. It could be something as simply locking your door as soon as you get in your car before even putting the keys into the ignition to walking with your head held high and not looking like a victim.
> 
> ...


no reading all that


----------



## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

i follow the teaching of bruce lee and what i do is i trick any would be assailant into getting into a small boat tied to the back of a large boat then release the line and get a random chinese guy to hold it whilst mocking the guy in the boat.

is a very inconvienient way to walk around (carrying 2 boats and a stranger) but it works every time.


----------



## alchemystical (Jan 16, 2013)

With a fist full of pound coins.


----------



## BLUE(UK) (Jan 9, 2008)

AnnesBollocks said:


> With a fist full of pound coins.


A pack of extra strong mints in each hand. h34r:


----------



## BatemanLondon (Jun 14, 2011)

eye gouge

plus i wouldnt punch i would go for an elbow or a palm strike .. why break your hand on some ****s head


----------



## Dan100% (Feb 19, 2013)

hit them lots of times until they're no longer a threat.

Finish him!


----------



## Zola (Mar 14, 2012)

OP if you had to ask the internet this question then hitting people isnt for you.


----------



## Bashy (Jun 16, 2010)

I am astounded this thread is still going on.


----------



## Poke (May 31, 2012)

Stand in front of him un afraid and wait for him to punch you, 90% of the time they get the message you aren't scared and get afraid themselves then back away looking like muppets.

If they attack block /parry with the opposite hand and jab (with hand starting at the waist) right to the chin with the other.

:thumb:

Works perfectly unless the other guy is a trained boxer and better than you, in this case go for the nuts and headbutt :thumbup1:


----------



## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

Despite knowing all the worlds elite fighters populated these forums I'm still amazed at just how many experts there are! Gymgym is starting to look fairly normal


----------



## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Kimball said:


> Despite knowing all the worlds elite fighters populated these forums I'm still amazed at just how many experts there are! Gymgym is starting to look fairly normal


NEVER!!!!!!


----------



## oldskoolcool (Oct 4, 2009)

Punch lol why bust your hand? elbow or knee is all you need.


----------



## Stunner (Sep 11, 2012)

stone14 said:


> big swing to the chin, rugby tackle to floor then thumbs to back of eye balls then ''pop'' :thumb:


That might do it! Lol :scared:


----------



## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

jaycue2u said:


> Punch yourself in the face, freak them right out


I had a confrontation once while very drunk with a couple of lads who decided to gob off (I was 19 at the time). I squared up to one of them and grabbed his hand as if I was going to shake it and started shouting at him about being a real man and fighting like one. I said that we would keep hold of each others hands and take it in turns to hit each other in the face and the last one standing was the winner. He looked a little confused, at which point I told him he got the first hit, which I then started shouting for him to hit me. It had the desired effect and he freaked out and ran off with his mate while me and my pal stood there giggling. Now I count myself luck that night as I could barely stand and had he of hit me I'd have been fvcked. Especially seeing as when I decided to walk off I then tripped over my own feet and smashed my face on the pavement! A little embarrassing to say the least but thankfully by that point the other lads had long gone!!


----------

