# Some short jokes to brighten up this gloomy monday afternoon...



## Sylar (Sep 7, 2008)

The latest club craze is to fill a woman's vagina with vodka and then suck it out using a straw. Doctors are warning about the dangers of minge drinking

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A farmer in Devon has made history by growing a field of dildos! Unfortunately he's had a lot of trouble with squatters!

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85% of Liverpudlian males say they enjoy sex in the shower........ The other 15% haven't been to prison yet

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I'm really p*ssed off! Someone's just crashed into my car in one of them new Skodas. There's f.......g jam and sponge everywhere!

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Bastards! Just been thrown out & barred from the local swimming baths because I had my Speedo trunks on! What I didn't know was the 'S' had come off the logo!!

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Just bought a racehorse called 'My Face', It may not be any good but I can't wait to hear all the women in the crowd screaming 'come on .. ..My face

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I've just been 2 my first Muslim birthday party! Musical chairs was a bit slow but f*ck me pass the parcel was fast!

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I dunno what all the fuss is about this shark coming to Cornwall . It's the first thing in ages that's tried to get in this country that's f*cking white !!

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2 Irish couples decide to swap partners. Afterwards Paddy said to Murphy that's the best f*ck I've ever had, I wonder how the girls got on ?

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If mothers Celebrate mothers day, fathers celebrate fathers day, lovers celebrate valentines day, do [email protected] celebrate palm sunday?

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Paddy weighs 20st, so his doctor puts him on a diet. 'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day and repeat this for 2 weeks, you should loose 5lbs.' When Paddy returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost 4st. 'That?s amazing the doc said'...Paddy nodded...'I'll tell you be Jesus, I taut I was gonna drop dead by da 3rd day.' 'What from hunger said the doc?'...'No from the f........g skipping!'

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Just popped home, caught the plumber with his dick in the dog! Can't believe the police won't do anything! They said the b*stard was corgi registered

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Are you available to come to a charity pancake competition on Shrove Tuesday? The organisers have the pans and the ingredients they just need a tosser


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## JakeJ16 (Dec 15, 2008)

Lmao! Quality, reps


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## Iron19 (Jan 18, 2008)

LOL good ones. Brought a smile to my face.


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## rooty (Dec 11, 2008)

haha a few of them made is laff like mate


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## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?"

The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.

"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch."


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