# How many time do you crap ed?



## tomass1342

*Whats your number?*​
Once - Small 103.58%Once - Large 7225.81%Twice - Small 3010.75%Twice - Large 7025.09%Thrice - Small 176.09%Thrice - Large 3111.11%Four or more4917.56%


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## tomass1342

Personaly, about twice with a soft texture, not runny but not hard. How about evryone else?


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## GHS

I know I'm saying this quite a lot lately but...

OP - Your a sad c*nt.


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## MASSIVEMONSTER

LOL at this thread.

Today, not yet. I may off load shortly. Usually softish texture, length about 5-6 inches, fairly firm in appearance, yet I dont touch it to confirm this statement.

Most days once is enough.

On low carbs, once EOD.

GHS, You arent very happy of late buddy?


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## tomass1342

GHS said:


> I know I'm saying this quite a lot lately but...
> 
> OP - Your a sad c*nt.


Why? im woundering if im normal compared to everyone else.


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## WRT

GHS said:


> OP - Your a sad c*nt.


I thought the same.


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## Guest

MASSIVEMONSTER said:


> LOL at this thread.
> 
> Today, not yet. I may off load shortly. Usually softish texture, length about 5-6 inches, fairly firm in appearance, yet I dont touch it to confirm this statement.
> 
> Most days once is enough.
> 
> On low carbs, once EOD.
> 
> GHS, You arent very happy of late buddy?


Most in-depth poo analysis ive read on this site :thumbup1: any pics? :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## tomass1342

WRT said:


> I thought the same.


Dont read it then, its fairly obvious what the threads about in the title. You dont have to read it, but you waste your time commenting on what a "sad cvnt" has posted. What does that make you?


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## MASSIVEMONSTER

Dan said:


> Most in-depth poo analysis ive read on this site :thumbup1: any pics? :lol: :lol: :lol:


LOL!! I did take a good few minutes constructing my reply. I am bored!!! :laugh:


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## T.F.

Here you go OP, the thread your dreams are made of :thumbup1:

http://www.uk-muscle.co.uk/general-conversation/55255-how-many-times-do-you-go-number-2-day.html


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## tomass1342

Thanks, its actually i serious question as i seem to poo more than all my friends and woundered if it was because of my diet, so thought id see if people with similar diets are the same.


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## tomass1342

T.F. said:


> Here you go OP, the thread your dreams are made of :thumbup1:
> 
> http://www.uk-muscle.co.uk/general-conversation/55255-how-many-times-do-you-go-number-2-day.html


Thanks TF. according to this thread im average, YES!


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## Guest

Are you into scat? is that why u started the thread? i bet it is. You poo pervert.


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## tomass1342

Dan said:


> Are you into scat? is that why u started the thread? i bet it is. You poo pervert.


 wtf is scat? lol


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## Ironclad

Dead giraffes & parrots, invisible dogs, racism, atheists, liverpool fc, drunken BBers... NOW SCAT!!

For Fu**s sake is there no end to the depravity of this board??

What next? Pictures of giant cocks no doubt..

Mentalists all of you. Except Josh, who's to big to argue with


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## Guest

Google it.


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## mal

I like to do a big firm one am, and im f***in happy lol


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## GHS

Ahhh the quality threads just keep coming on this forum....

Take my 4X4 thread for example


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## Guest

At least the poo thread is BB'n related LOL


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## Heineken

Aren't you one of those "if you don't like it don't read it" advocates Matt? :whistling:

On topic, I take a dump twice a day or so :laugh:


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## WRT

tomass1342 said:


> Dont read it then, its fairly obvious what the threads about in the title. You dont have to read it, but you waste your time commenting on what a "sad cvnt" has posted. What does that make you?


Well I feel a turtles head coming on now, so when I've dropped the kids off i'll get my measuring tape and depth micrometer on it for you, then throw it at a window to test the hardness:thumbup1:


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## tomass1342

so far it seems the poo frequency is fairly wide spread. With no clear winner


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## GHS

:lol: Just seen the poll....

FFS.....


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## Ironclad

I shared a flat with a mate. Came home one afternoon to find the most massive turd i'd ever seen ever ever ever, and since. Damn, this thing went around the pipe and even reared it's head a few inches above the water!!

When my mate came home I asked him if he was walking ok today. He looked puzzled so I asked him if he was bleeding down a trouser leg, still didn't get it. So I got him to look in the bog. It took several flushes and a new bogbrush to fix.

Turned out it was his girlfriend..* dirty biatch lol

*apparently


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## Guest

Well, nobody else has yet sooo

This is a sh!t thread


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## T.F.

Sexy! :lol:


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## mal

would like to have watched that mmmm


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## Transformer

Mate my ex laid the biggest ones, you could sit there flushing all day and it would still be sat there... try two girls one cup on google... damn thats scary...


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## tomass1342

mikex101 said:


> Well, nobody else has yet sooo
> 
> This is a sh!t thread


funny


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## mal

my F****in sides are splitin.


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## WRT

mal said:


> my F****in sides are splitin.


Is your ring splitting?


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## Markc

Wheres the option for stickiness?

sometimes mine stick to the side sometimes they don't, think it depends on how much glue I been sniffing, sorry I meant how much sugar I have had.


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## Jake H

usually 4 + 6 or ore on weekends when i have acess to the toilet.... god dam oats....


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## donggle

Usually after every decent sized meal. Sometimes 5 times a day... Always quite a decent size too.


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## Críostóir

Sticky foul smellin ones are called steatorrhoea mainly caused by the body not absorbin fats. I get them after my workout . . Think the oats help flush me out ha ha


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## Welshy_Pete

Hello before I started training and diet I never used to go for a week or more lol:lol: Hard and hurt sometimes Yet wern't any bigger then normal. :whistling:

Anyway now training and diet I go everyday once a day I was for ages but now every other day. Soft medium kind with a nice tasty smell lol. :thumbup1:

Any one fancy a choc log or choc swiss role lol:lol::laugh:


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## dtlv

What counts as a single poo? If I drop and there are multiple splashes does each splash count as seperate?


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## tomass1342

1 poo = 1 sitting. Eg, if you sit down and plop out 6 turds, it counts as 1, but if you sit down, wipe, go for some lunch and return to the bowl, thats 2


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## JUICERWALES

Dan said:


> Are you into scat? is that why u started the thread? i bet it is. You poo pervert.


hahaha


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## Tombo

Different each day, I don't tend to keep track tbh.


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## spiderpants

when im show dieting about once evry 2 days, but when im off season about 3 times a day!

i keep the andrex factory open off season


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## tomass1342

Thing is, my GF only lets me get the andrex out when we have guests, so the rest of the time its value stuff, ive got such a sore ass


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## pea head

When i go for a crap,my mrs always shouts in "Have you sprayed in there? "

I shout back "Yes all around the pan "


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## tomass1342

Haha, im not allowed to crap if shes going to the toilet or for a shower after, im made to hold it in!!!


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## pea head

Im like that guy on the WKD advert,just go in and drop it if needs be


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## tomass1342

Haha, im too scared, shed blast me with the shower!


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## a.notherguy

i have 3 toilets in my house but my gf had pretty much banned me from all of them in one way or another :cursing:

ensuite - not allowed to dump in there cos it makes the bedroom smell.

downstairs toilet - not allowed to dump there cos its next to the front door and she gets embarrassed if anyone comes round

bathroom - not allowed to dump in there if the gf is planning on having a bath (which she does both nights!!!!!)

i love coming to work - we got 4 toilets here and i can 5hit in any of them at any time i like without asking fro permission lol


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## GH1987

a.notherguy said:


> i have 3 toilets in my house but my gf had pretty much banned me from all of them in one way or another :cursing:
> 
> ensuite - not allowed to dump in there cos it makes the bedroom smell.
> 
> downstairs toilet - not allowed to dump there cos its next to the front door and she gets embarrassed if anyone comes round
> 
> bathroom - not allowed to dump in there if the gf is planning on having a bath (which she does both nights!!!!!)
> 
> i love coming to work - we got 4 toilets here and i can 5hit in any of them at any time i like without asking fro permission lol


hahahahahahah


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## Irish Beast

Depends on alcohol and drug intake. I would say about 3 on average


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## adonis

at least four, like chocolate mr.whippy


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## Slamdog

about 3 times a week.....


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## ShrinkingViolet

Well I have IBS, so it's once or twice a fortnight - if I'm lucky! :cursing:


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## tomass1342

Mine has recently increased to 3 times daily,


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## Guest

ShrinkingViolet said:


> Well I have IBS, so it's once or twice a fortnight - if I'm lucky! :cursing:


 :lol: I have IBS and sh1t 3-4 times a day.. I couldnt hold 2 days food in me never mind a weeks


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## mal

get my main log out in the morning,happy days.


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## Dezw

Usually about 4 times a day.


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## Dezw

a.notherguy said:


> i have 3 toilets in my house but my gf had pretty much banned me from all of them in one way or another :cursing:
> 
> ensuite - not allowed to dump in there cos it makes the bedroom smell.
> 
> downstairs toilet - not allowed to dump there cos its next to the front door and she gets embarrassed if anyone comes round
> 
> bathroom - not allowed to dump in there if the gf is planning on having a bath (which she does both nights!!!!!)
> 
> i love coming to work - we got 4 toilets here and i can 5hit in any of them at any time i like without asking fro permission lol


Damn you are pussy whipped!

Just do what you want mate, people can't stop you using the toilet.


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## JUICERWALES

once


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## Guest

JUICERWALES said:


> once


u talk sh1t 100s of times a day though


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## JUICERWALES

Dan said:


> talk sh1t 100s of times a day though


Atleast you admit it, I like that.


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## Guest

JUICERWALES said:


> Atleast you admit it, I like that.


Witty as well excellent :thumbup1:


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## JUICERWALES

Dan said:


> Witty as well excellent :thumbup1:


Didn't like that did you? Poor baby, it's bed time for you anyway.

Chow


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## big_jim_87

all ready a few threds on this i think. i did one ages ago because i sh1t as same amount os i have meals 6-8 craps a day lol its amaizin how many ppl will talk about ther sh1t


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## Lois_Lane

Really depends as little as twice some times like 6 times if the digestion is not going as it should!


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## stu4evablue

Im just going to put 2 good off loads a day and get out of here hahaha


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## jw007

at least 4

But if on tren more as I get IBS


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## zelobinksy

I sent mine of analysis mate 

waiting for the results,

i believe the doc said it looked firm, with a slight tint of yellow and a hint of vanilla (guess its that syntha six). He said it was fairly nut and looked like a good poop specimen, apparently i've nice poop and could make it in the "scat" business...

thats just hopefully, i'd love to take a crap on someone (i hate) not out of pleasure.  :whistling:


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## jw007

Doctors can actually tell a great deal about your health from your poo...

My sis ex Bf was studying to be a doc, and he had this exam sheet with all different turds on it, he had to diagnose ailments from the poo


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## tomass1342

my poo frequency seems to have increased recently


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## Lousy_Bastard

Once from my ass and about 50 from my mouth


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## bizzlewood

1-2 a day


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## suliktribal

I go when I'm told I can go!


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## big_jim_87

i made a thred about this last year lol so many ppl love to talk about poo


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## big_jim_87

but about 5-8 aday lol 1 ish per meal lol thats why i made the thred last year i was worried! lol


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## bizzlewood

when i took mammoth a couple of months ago it made me go 4 times a day

i was scared to even fart


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## hamsternuts

i normally go twice a day, lately it's been like firing a brown laser.


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## strange_days

This thread has been awarded the coveted "most oddly perverted thread on UK-M" award


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## tomass1342

so, into third week of keto. Average one hard, tough, sh1t every other day


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## notoriousbenyg

Hahaaa, POOP :laugh:


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## Nutz01

Witch-King said:


> Dead giraffes & parrots, invisible dogs, racism, atheists, liverpool fc, drunken BBers... NOW SCAT!!
> 
> For Fu**s sake is there no end to the depravity of this board??
> 
> What next? Pictures of giant cocks no doubt..
> 
> Mentalists all of you. Except Josh, who's to big to argue with


We have already had Cocks in AL


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## bry1979

ha ha theres a poll for everything on this board, love it.


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## tomass1342

is there a poll for best poll?


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## Raptor

Lol once a day, feel sorry for the 4+ guys

When bulking 2 max


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## TIMMY_432

tomass1342 said:


> wtf is scat? lol


Type into google " two girls one cup" and there's your answer :thumb:


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## PaulB




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## Boshboshbosh

im sorry but this thread is a load of ****.

LOL.... ;D


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## jimbo_

^ rofl +reps

1ED for me, big stinky one every morning


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## Guest

oh... gotta have one in the morning... and sometimes after tea... lol


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## 1Tonne

8am - large , approx 1kg , medium dexerity (upon exit that is , not post) and colourisation indicates all is generally well.

1pm - small ,maybe 300g, slightly harder than the "am" movement but of similar texture.

10pm - medium, hitting 700g max, most often of a softer texture , but not liquid based. Colour is generally slightly darker , but depending on level of wind throughout the day will vary to overall odour provided. Fragrance should be on stand by.

I hope this is not too detailed, but at the same time, provides your an adequate level of information to allow your own personal bowel performance to be both rated , and regulated.

Regards,

1Tonne.


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## treb92

Drop a depth charge in the morning & dump a heavy load at night, sometimes i do a little girly one during the day, depends on what i've been noshing.


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## Jay24888

Wow I must be strange, I do a large one every morning about 1kg, one about 11am, one about 2pm, one after dinner and one before sleep... All really bad stencing sh1ts


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## Syko

10 BIG! :laugh:


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## Barker

My ****s are absolutely colossal.


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## Trojan_Pony

I've IBS so have a bit of a problem with feeling like i need to poo for about half the day no matter what. It's one of the reasons i workout so much as the exercise plus the shake does a lot to make going and thus being able to function (semi)normally possible. Usually about 3 small and unsatisfying poops a day.


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## SiPhil

I had such a massive long thick one this morning I looked as though I'd been sat on the toilet crying. Made my eyes water so much. I almost named it and looked for the umbilical cord.


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## Hobbio

pea head said:


> When i go for a crap,my mrs always shouts in "Have you sprayed in there? "
> 
> I shout back "Yes all around the pan "


Haha 



Dan said:


> :lol: I have IBS and sh1t 3-4 times a day.. I couldnt hold 2 days food in me never mind a weeks


Mate, IBS sucks. Sometimes it feels like my @rse is a fire hose.


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## Replicator

tomass1342 said:


> Personaly, about twice with a soft texture, not runny but not hard. How about evryone else?


On average, twice a day and big usually, three logs per dump, firm but slipy.

Once, I had one that was going to be about 14 inches long but the F*kin thing broke!!


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## pea head

Only go if an "Alabama Hot Pocket" is on the cards....hit Google if unsure what it is


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## ironman1985bcn

every two meals I have to go, so it's unlike to go less than 3 times ED...

And I'm talking about some serious brown mass here :lol:

Normally warm soft and dirty and must use half the toilet roll to clean up my ****.


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## Ak_88

pea head said:


> Only go if an "Alabama Hot Pocket" is on the cards....hit Google if unsure what it is


Nasty :lol:


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## Rutt_Dj

hahaha i can see this site being alot of good laughs


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## cecil_sensation

MASSIVEMONSTER said:


> LOL at this thread.
> 
> Today, not yet. I may off load shortly. Usually softish texture, length about 5-6 inches, fairly firm in appearance, *yet I dont touch it to confirm this statement. *
> 
> *
> *
> 
> Most days once is enough.
> 
> On low carbs, once EOD.
> 
> GHS, You arent very happy of late buddy?


i bet you do touch it hahaha :laugh::laugh:


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## cecil_sensation

pea head said:


> Only go if an "Alabama Hot Pocket" is on the cards....hit Google if unsure what it is


i just googled this pea head and this is the result i got if people dont know what this means.....i must say it sounds fun :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

"The Alabama Hot Pocket is a special fetish maneuver that roughly involves taking a sh!t into a woman's vagina, typically followed up by a good ole fcukin'. The term "Alabama" originated from a lesser known, but crucial additional practice that involves "Porky Piggin'" the female who has recieved the Hot Pocket. In Alabama, you see, good old ******* boys, when bored, would **** pig troughs or large, wet piles of mud. To properly perform the Porky Piggin' follow-up procedure, one must take a massive sh!t onto the vagina WITHOUT spreading the lips. This creates a core that enters the woman, and then dregs that explode out all over her. By randomly stabbing with the cock, one will successfully Porky Piggin' the girl... repeating, naturally, the action that would normally be associated with screwing a pile of mud or animal trough"

i know feel rather ill after reading that


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## Conscript

Twice a week....like clockwork :whistling:

Big portions too, If I sh1t in a tesco's bag and picked it up....Don't think it would hold :laugh:


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## DanB

G-fresh said:


> Twice a week....like clockwork :whistling:
> 
> Big portions too, If I sh1t in a tesco's bag and picked it up....Don't think it would hold :laugh:


Twice a week is really not alot mate! Dunno what it would feel like to have to **** that little


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## Incredibl3Bulk

\ said:


> Twice a week....like clockwork :whistling:
> 
> Big portions too, If I sh1t in a tesco's bag and picked it up....Don't think it would hold :laugh:


Jesus Christ!!! I sh!t twice a day minimum usually. What supplements are u taking? Heroin???


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## J55TTC

What if you only crap once every other day?


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## Tombo

How can you guys not go each day?

I don't go the same amount of times each day and I don't keep track so can't answer the poll.


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## welbeck

I got food poisoning while in the Philippines for a job interview and as a result I had to have my colon removed, I've since had reconstructive surgery and now go to the ****house 10-12 times a day.


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## Hayesy

Its were i plop, i mean plot to take over the world!!


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## adii-taff

sorry to go way off topic but can any1 tell me what OP means? been seein it everywhere lately and duno wat it means?


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## SamG

Original poster or original post buddy

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk


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## adii-taff

SamG said:


> Original poster or original post buddy
> 
> Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk


thanks mate lol


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## mikemull

Deli belly at mo so going for half a dozen +


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## ADZ7

3/4

Sent from my HD7 T9292 using Board Express


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## kreig

Once a day before breakie or just after


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## Foamy

I would like to point out that I only voted 4 or more because I thought it was asking how many times I've crapped the bed. :blink:


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## tom42021

Loads


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## leeds_01

2 times a day at least

on a bulk up to 5 sometimes - think i got piles but dont know what they are - ass bleeds sometimes if i wipe too hard after like 5th sh1t of the day:no:


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## superdan

twice a day, depending on my diet.


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## Gary29

J55TTC said:


> What if you only crap once every other day?


Your death is imminent, Elvis style.


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## Jux

I've had 1 medium size log in the past week :crying: ... is this normal on keto?


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## koicarp

Tomass you need to get out a bit more lol


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## phoenixlaw

I tend to lay a cable at least twice a day. :blush:


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## BoxerJay

Usually two pretty beasty looking ones

Girls creep me out, they go for 5 or 6 days with nothing and then do a few rabbit drops and go another week. Creepy stuff.


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## k3z

How on earth has this been dug up again? What did you search for Gary?


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## VeNuM

This threads a load of shyte.


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## AJP89

I drop the kids off at the pool 2/3 times a day.


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## n1ckage

AJP89 said:


> I drop the kids off at the pool 2/3 times a day.


What the **** did you search to find this


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## DutchTony

My 6 month old son goes all the fcuking time!!!


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## DrRinse

> I tend to lay a cable at least twice a day


HAAAAAA. A Viz reader by any chance? I do 2-3 on cut / low card and 3-4 when bulking.

Ant


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## stone14

on 4000-5000cals ed prob 4-5 good size sh*ts ed


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## UKLifter88

I make sure I save mine until I go to work so I don't use as much bog roll


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## haza

Twice a week, but gruesome ones when I do go, have IBS so it can change all the time


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## George-Bean




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## Daz1245

George-Bean said:


> View attachment 99493


Where's the one with razor blades I hate them


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## haza

George-Bean said:


> View attachment 99493


Think I'm type 2 mate:whistling:


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## Guest

When bulking its 2 ed.

Almost always after I've taken a pre workout supp also.

Caffine goes right through me.


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## Kamwe kuacha

I'm sitting at about 4 times a day!


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## kingdale

3, sick of wiping my anus.


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## Kemot

Jux said:


> I've had 1 medium size log in the past week :crying: ... is this normal on keto?


it is  add fibres 3x a day 5g before meals it will help a lot .


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## Guest

Why is it the Bristol Stool Chart ? lol

Is Bristol really that **** ?


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## theshrew

haza said:


> Twice a week, but gruesome ones when I do go, have IBS so it can change all the time


This might sound like a silly question.

What are your symtoms of IBS ? My Mrs seems to think i might have it. Tried booking in at the Docs this morning but cant get a app.

Is it a serious thing ?


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## Bensif

theshrew said:


> This might sound like a silly question.
> 
> What are your symtoms of IBS ? My Mrs seems to think i might have it. Tried booking in at the Docs this morning but cant get a app.
> 
> Is it a serious thing ?


TBH IBS is just a medical term for 'You don't know what it is but there's something that your stomach can't tolerate'. I was told I have IBS, I have since found out that it is red meat that messes with my stomach.

Symptoms can vary, but things like excessive bloating, wind, fowl smelling wind, irregular poo'ing, constipation, the runs etc, can be a supposed sign of IBS. Your missus just needs to look at her diet and start cutting foods out until she pin points which foods are doing it.


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## haza

theshrew said:


> This might sound like a silly question.
> 
> What are your symtoms of IBS ? My Mrs seems to think i might have it. Tried booking in at the Docs this morning but cant get a app.
> 
> Is it a serious thing ?


It's not so serious mate, it's just annoying at times, plus the bloating when u get it isn't nice, I get a nauseous feeling when I'm bloated not nice....

Irregular bowel movements, gas build ups, upset stomach, can't eat certain foods, ppl think it's nothing, but I will tell u it isn't very nice, I had every test you could think of done, and the consultant came back with IBS, there's not really a medication either, you just have to watch what u eat, I see a nutritionist once a fortnight just to chat about different foods etc


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## theshrew

haza said:


> It's not so serious mate, it's just annoying at times, plus the bloating when u get it isn't nice, I get a nauseous feeling when I'm bloated not nice....
> 
> Irregular bowel movements, gas build ups, upset stomach, can't eat certain foods, ppl think it's nothing, but I will tell u it isn't very nice, I had every test you could think of done, and the consultant came back with IBS, there's not really a medication either, you just have to watch what u eat, I see a nutritionist once a fortnight just to chat about different foods etc


Thats what im like. Cant dump to save my life most of the time. For eg last week i went from Sat morning until Friday night without a dump. Bloated, farting all the time and pain at times.

Ive tried alsorts to get around the problem but not found a cure yet. Sounds like i best makesure i get in at the docs and see what they have to say. Suppose its better to be safe than sorry.


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## BigTrev

Everytime the Mrs goes to asda for the weekly shop


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## Ben_Dover

Normally 3, one upon waking without fail, then lunchtime(ish), then about 5pm which is usualy horrific as it smells like my 7am egg whites...


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## Sambuca

normally two in a morning then 2 on a night/afternoon. held it in this morning was massive :/


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## silver

On keto..... never


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## AnotherLevel

Crapping is highly underrated. A good ****e can be more euphoric than heroin... okay maybe not quite that... but still underrated!

Once a day, maybe twice.


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## WilsonR6

Lmao

4 or more, rarely hard


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## Zola

10am at latest lol, them oats get you moving


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## Beefmeister

tomass1342 said:


> Thanks, its actually i serious question as i seem to poo more than all my friends and woundered if it was because of my diet, so thought id see if people with similar diets are the same.


Valid question I my book.my mrs is always moaning about me stinking out toilet


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## zack amin

varies from an average of 2 a day to 4 if im bulking heavy


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## vetran

i thought this was a sh*t thread in 2010 but i see its still steaming on


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