# CLASSIC THREAD RE-BUMP: would you punch a gorilla in the face



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

*would you punch a gorilla in the face for one million pounds*​
Yes 18761.92%No11538.08%


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

for 1 million pounds?

its cage is open, you go in, have one punch then have to get back out the cage.

if you spark it out cold you get paid and if you get out you get paid, but if you dont... you are left to face the consequences 

any takers?


----------



## Big Dawg (Feb 24, 2008)

LOL fcuk that!


----------



## d4ead (Nov 3, 2008)

do they hold him back while you get to take your punch?? I mean i kinda figure id be in pieces before i got 1 in other wise.


----------



## Dantreadz85 (Jun 4, 2009)

no lol


----------



## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

d4ead said:


> do they hold him back while you get to take your punch?? I mean i kinda figure id be in pieces before i got 1 in other wise.


Do they fook, it takes about 8 coppers to put a scrawny p1sshead to the ground on a saturday night, nevermind a gurilla :lol:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

d4ead said:


> do they hold him back while you get to take your punch?? I mean i kinda figure id be in pieces before i got 1 in other wise.


no, but its a peaceful gorilla and is sat there minding its own business until you smash it in the face.


----------



## Ironclad (Jun 23, 2009)

It would peel you like a bloody banana mate!


----------



## robisco11 (Dec 8, 2007)

I'd go in windmilling all over !!! 1million quid!!


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

im not doing it! im asking you lot


----------



## Will101 (Apr 14, 2009)

can i shoot it with a tranquizer dart first?


----------



## Cheese (Jul 7, 2009)

Ashcrapper said:


> for 1 million pounds?
> 
> its cage is open, you go in, have one punch then have to get back out the cage.
> 
> ...


LMAO at that bit

Don't think i'd get out so nah you can keep you money.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

the rules are very strict here. dont want this to get silly so I shall outline them.

*RULES*

* You are allowed one punch and one punch only

* No armour may be worn

* Weapons of any kind is prohibited

* The gorilla may not be restrained in any way

* The cage door will be open at all times

* Food or other gifts may not be offered to the gorilla as a peace offering

Good luck


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

added a poll.


----------



## MyVision (Apr 15, 2009)

Hell yeah, show me the money mate!


----------



## Nathrakh (Apr 5, 2004)

I'd rather P!ss on an electric eel (should imagine it would be less painful).


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Ha ha, this is one of the most ridiculous posts ever.

I love it.


----------



## d4ead (Nov 3, 2008)

ok, do i still get paid as long as i live, there no clause about getting out of the cage without injury???

if thats the case then yeh id risk it. for 1 million i reckon its worth a year or so in hospital.... and if you died well it dont really matter then

now wheres that open door..


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

yeh as long as you make it out of the cage you get the cash.


----------



## noel (Dec 30, 2005)

funny imagining someone throwing their best at a gorilla, one of the most muscular and strong animlas on the planet, with pretty much no neck

and said gorilla just smiling....

a year in hospital?

more like a lifetime in a coffin!

unless you were bruce lee obviously.....awaits 1000s of numbtys saying that some special death touch move they learnt in karate would work


----------



## Will101 (Apr 14, 2009)

Ashcrapper said:


> the rules are very strict here. dont want this to get silly so I shall outline them.
> 
> *RULES*
> 
> ...


 :lol: :lol: :lol: yeah, would be terrible to ruin this by it getting silly...


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Its not a ferocious gorilla. Its just chilling out like this:










if anything its let itself go a bit.


----------



## Will101 (Apr 14, 2009)

Ashcrapper said:


> Its not a ferocious gorilla. Its just chilling out like this:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Is that pregnant? Can't surely punch a pregnant women?


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Will101 said:


> Is that pregnant? Can't surely punch a pregnant women?


no one said this was going to be easy pal, you've got to live with the consequences.


----------



## albie (Mar 16, 2007)

Ashcrapper said:


> the rules are very strict here. dont want this to get silly so I shall outline them.
> 
> *RULES*
> 
> ...


I think these rules should be applied to any situation where a 'man' wants to prove he's the big hunter by shooting a lion / bear from a 1000 yds with a rifle.

If you want an authentic lion / tiger or bear skin rug, have the balls to do it according to the rules above....would make for rather interesting and amusing you tube content.

On the original OP topic - no i wouldn't, it would probably go horribly wrong and end up like the scene with the Gorilla in the cage in Trading Places (showing my age!)


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

albie said:


> *I think these rules should be applied to any situation where a 'man' wants to prove he's the big hunter by shooting a lion / bear from a 1000 yds with a rifle. *
> 
> *
> *
> ...


I think thats a fantastic idea.


----------



## Cheese (Jul 7, 2009)

noel said:


> funny imagining someone throwing their best at a gorilla, one of the most muscular and strong animlas on the planet, with pretty much no neck
> 
> and said gorilla just smiling....
> 
> ...


I would use the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique 

I'd rather take my chances with the Gorilla then you though Noel it has to be said :laugh:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Cheese said:


> *I would use the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique *
> 
> I'd rather take my chances with the Gorilla then you though Noel it has to be said :laugh:


not allowed.


----------



## Will101 (Apr 14, 2009)

God said:


> That ain't no Woman!


How do you know?!

This is just wrong.....http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gorilla+punch


----------



## manson (Jun 21, 2008)

when all's said and done mankind are actually the muppets when it comes to one on one in the animal world, we like to think of ourselves as the dominant species but in actually fact thats only when we can hold a weapon. I voted no because gorillas will kill you with breath before they need to expend any energy


----------



## dan the man (Apr 1, 2009)

dead right i would have a pop


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

got a few takers now, all we need now is £1m and a gorilla.


----------



## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Will101 said:


> Is that pregnant? Can't surely punch a pregnant women?


No, The zoo keepers said its growth hormone related, pre compatition getting ready to be chinned:lol:

this threads mint :lol:


----------



## Titchy Dan (May 14, 2009)

No way!

The one thing that scares me in life are primates. Gorrillas, chimps (scare the **** out of me) monkeys etc etc. That gorilla would catch up with you wit one jump and then literally tear you limp from limp. No way!


----------



## manson (Jun 21, 2008)

nx4UEe98EkY[/MEDIA]]





although even chimps could do you some damage


----------



## gold95 (May 23, 2009)

i'd fcuk a gorilla for a million (but i wouldn't let him fcuk me)


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

yeh originally thought chimps but as there are some big blokes on here I thought id up the ante


----------



## rsvr (Aug 29, 2009)

If it's a girl, then yeah.

Girls can't fight........ (ooooooooooh controversial)

:whistling:


----------



## Will101 (Apr 14, 2009)

Titchy Dan said:


> No way!
> 
> The one thing that scares me in life are primates. Gorrillas, chimps (scare the **** out of me) monkeys etc etc. That gorilla would catch up with you wit one jump and then literally tear you limp from limp. No way!


Remember bud, it has to be out cold to get the money so this would not be a problem.... unless of course you were to fail in knocking it out, in which case you are absolutely right - you would be fu**ed!


----------



## Rosedale6 (Jul 22, 2009)

gold95 said:


> i'd fcuk a gorilla for a million (but i wouldn't let him fcuk me)


Id give you a million just to see that. You wouldnt have a cock left.


----------



## rsvr (Aug 29, 2009)

So if we started a website raising £1m, would any of the "yes" voters go through with it?

(not me though, I'd be organising it)


----------



## Titchy Dan (May 14, 2009)

Ashcrapper said:


> yeh originally thought chimps but as there are some big blokes on here I thought id up the ante





Will101 said:


> Remember bud, it has to be out cold to get the money so this would not be a problem.... unless of course you were to fail in knocking it out, in which case you are absolutely right - you would be fu**ed!


We could get JW to do this dare, and im telling you a) he wouldnt knock him out and B) RIP JW


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

rsvr said:


> So if we started a website raising £1m, would any of the "yes" voters go through with it?
> 
> (not me though, I'd be organising it)


well we need a gorilla too. and a cage.


----------



## curlie (Sep 30, 2008)

Titchy Dan said:


> We could get JW to do this dare, and im telling you a) he wouldnt knock him out and B) RIP JW


He's popping into the firestation in about 15 mins lol i shall pose the very question !!pmsl Shic 2 here we come !!!! lol


----------



## Will101 (Apr 14, 2009)

Ashcrapper said:


> well we need a gorilla too. and a cage.


Dont have a gorilla but know a few girls that look a bit like that pic. Would that be any help?


----------



## BigMutha (Aug 14, 2009)

Pfffttt...Ash you cheap [email protected],I don't even get out of bed for a million!


----------



## skd (Dec 17, 2008)

no id never punch any animal in the face


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

What if it was this one:


----------



## invisiblekid (Jun 18, 2006)

rsvr said:


> If it's a girl, then yeah.
> 
> Girls can't fight........ (ooooooooooh controversial)
> 
> :whistling:


Not that controversial - it's blatantly true.

They can't throw either :laugh:


----------



## skd (Dec 17, 2008)

Smitch said:


> What if it was this one:


only if he made a move on my woman


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

invisiblekid said:


> Not that controversial - it's blatantly true.
> 
> They can't throw either :laugh:


Or catch.


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

SkInHeAd said:


> only if he made a move on my woman


If it's your woman in your avatar i'd probably fight him for her too.


----------



## TIMMY_432 (Aug 6, 2009)

robisco11 said:


> I'd go in windmilling all over !!! 1million quid!!


lol, cant go wrong with a good old windmill :thumb:


----------



## stow (Jun 5, 2007)

definitely. one big bang and the fkr goes down, lights out, end of!

I'd be outa there in a flash though, not waiting around to put foot on its chest and riase hands aloft!


----------



## TIMMY_432 (Aug 6, 2009)

SkInHeAd said:


> only if he made a move on my woman


got some forarms on him en he!


----------



## Pitman (Feb 2, 2009)

you could start a facebook group with something like "if a million people join this group and donate a pound i'll punch a gorilla in the face" and see how it goes


----------



## noel (Dec 30, 2005)

id fancy the Gorilla has a pretty durable chin....


----------



## MyVision (Apr 15, 2009)

rsvr said:


> So if we started a website raising £1m, would any of the "yes" voters go through with it?
> 
> (not me though, I'd be organising it)


 I think I would, after some training and a firm assurance I would get the money.


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Pitman said:


> you could start a facebook group with something like "if a million people join this group and donate a pound i'll punch a gorilla in the face" and see how it goes


I'd give a quid to see it.


----------



## Pitman (Feb 2, 2009)

Smitch said:


> I'd give a quid to see it.


me too, so thats £2 not far to go :thumb:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

id also chuck in

collection stands at £3


----------



## Bazooka Tooth (Apr 7, 2009)

no fcuk that


----------



## Sylar (Sep 7, 2008)

PMSL! How does a thread questioning whether you would punch a Gorilla in the face reach 5 pages within 2 hours?!

Only on UK-M general chat lol... :laugh:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

that a yes or no? :laugh:


----------



## LittleChris (Jan 17, 2009)

Don't see what the fuss is about.

I have done it before, outside of a cage for no money.

For 1million, easiest punch I would ever throw :thumb:


----------



## Will101 (Apr 14, 2009)

I'll chip in £1 - I think that makes it £4?

Only £999,996 to go....


----------



## coldo (Dec 7, 2008)

For 1m, i'd do pretty much anything.

Even my mum, gran, sister, dad etc... At the same time.


----------



## 54und3r5 (Apr 11, 2008)

pmsl u sick ****er


----------



## jw007 (Apr 12, 2007)

Titchy Dan said:


> We could get JW to do this dare, and im telling you a) he wouldnt knock him out and B) RIP JW


Fck That!!!!

No way, Have you seen their fckin necks????

I think its not humanly possible to drop a gorilla.....

It will at best, just p1ss him off.....

And my fitness is not such that I could run anywhere anyway:lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Cheese (Jul 7, 2009)

coldo said:


> For 1m, i'd do pretty much anything.
> 
> Even my mum, gran, sister, dad etc... At the same time.


I would never punch my dad he'd hit me back :lol: :lol:


----------



## WRT (May 21, 2009)

I put yes but thinking about it I wouldn't unless I wanna leave with no arms or legs


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

I saw a gorrilla at London zoo once. You don't realise how big they are when you see them on tv, up close they're HUGE.

And they stink.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Smitch said:


> I saw a gorrilla at London zoo once. You don't realise how big they are when you see them on tv, up close they're HUGE.
> 
> *And they stink.*


more reason to give it a dig.


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Ashcrapper said:


> more reason to give it a dig.


:laugh:


----------



## Valleys Boy (Jul 9, 2009)

Dude its One Million!!!! id punch him with his own fist for that kind of money, well try..... im guessin you guys on here got money to burn!! well im skint, so find me that big feckin monkey and ill av a pop at him! buuuut i want a bottle of JD b4 i do it, ya kno to take the sting off


----------



## MyVision (Apr 15, 2009)

Valleys Boy said:


> Dude its One Million!!!! id punch him with his own fist for that kind of money, well try..... im guessin you guys on here got money to burn!! well im skint, so find me that big feckin monkey and ill av a pop at him! buuuut i want a bottle of JD b4 i do it, ya kno to take the sting off


 That's exactly where I stand mate


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

I genuinely think a gorilla would kill a man with one swing.

Just imagine how strong they must be to swing about like they do. It'd be like being able doing pull ups and actually flinging yourself above the bar on every rep.

Insane strength.


----------



## ryoken (Jan 8, 2009)

I wouldnt even get in the cage with the big fvcker let alone try to swipe him:lol: :lol:

saying that though if i ever come into loads of money i will happily pay 1m to watch one of you nutters sock a gorrilla in the jaw :thumb:


----------



## noel (Dec 30, 2005)

i cant believe anyone honestly thinks they have a chance.. of a) hitting/ko'ing said animal, and then escaping without being killed.....

bruce lee bashing tyson is actually far far far more realistic..


----------



## Valleys Boy (Jul 9, 2009)

well the way i look at it, if you get in and out ya rich! if you die..... well you will go down in history as the man who tried to knock out a gorilla  what a star you would be lol! but im from south wales, we aint got money growin on trees around here, so im goin for it lol £££££££


----------



## dtlv (Jul 24, 2009)

No, wouldn't abuse an animal (or person) for money.


----------



## Valleys Boy (Jul 9, 2009)

theres always one!!! if i hit a gorilla i dunt think he would mind, prob just laf at me! cant class that as abuse fella


----------



## Ollie B (Mar 14, 2007)




----------



## Valleys Boy (Jul 9, 2009)

ITS FOR ONE MILLION POUND!!! ID PUNCH MY MRS FOR THAT...... all in caps for effect lol


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

glass chin


----------



## hungryshark (May 21, 2009)

it all depends on the gorilla if he was angry/aggressive you'd be in a world of pain...they like to posture alot though so there's a chance you could dig it and escape the cage while it was running around throwing stuff before it attacked you...but if it decided it didn't like you your done for..


----------



## Valleys Boy (Jul 9, 2009)

too many people worryin about what would happen if he caught you, all im thinkin about is what to spend my money on lol


----------



## Dwaine Chambers (Sep 14, 2008)

Hmmm, the vote is disturbingly close.


----------



## Will101 (Apr 14, 2009)

hungryshark said:


> it all depends on the gorilla if he was angry/aggressive you'd be in a world of pain...they like to posture alot though so there's a chance you could dig it and escape the cage while it was running around throwing stuff before it attacked you...but if it decided it didn't like you your done for..


Love it! This is becoming the most detailed analysis of how you might go about hitting a gorilla ever written.

We have covered if it is ok that it is an animal, that may be female, and maybe pregnant. Then got onto how big it it and now it's potential phycological state!!!!

Maybe you could find a way to select a p*ssy gorilla - the one that is always getting beaten up by the other ones. Odds would improve then Im thinking.


----------



## Kezz (Sep 3, 2007)

lol if a chimp can rip your arm out of its socket i dread to think what a gorrilla would do!!!, you are guaranteed to be ripped to shreds with no way of getting out of the cage!!


----------



## nobody (Apr 20, 2009)

Can i use my Go Go Gadget arms?


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

nobody said:


> Can i use my Go Go Gadget arms?


weapons/special powers not allowed.


----------



## nobody (Apr 20, 2009)

What if im a flid and have a fake arm ?


----------



## Valleys Boy (Jul 9, 2009)

Just run in, stick the head on him and run like feck!!! can u imagine sitting in the pub and ya mates says * so wot u do 2day?* and you reply with ah just stuck the head on a gorilla......... what a nite that would turn into lol


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

nobody said:


> What if im a flid and have a fake arm ?


then you have no business trying to punch a gorilla in the face :laugh:


----------



## ArZo (Jul 3, 2009)

How about a kick to the balls:confused1:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

ArZo said:


> How about a kick to the balls:confused1:


if you're into kinky sh1t like that then go for it. what about the gorilla business though?


----------



## ArZo (Jul 3, 2009)

Ashcrapper said:


> if you're into *kinky* sh1t like that then go for it. what about the gorilla business though?


Lol you find getting a kick to the balls kinky:confused1:


----------



## Squeeeze (Oct 2, 2007)

Abso fookin lutely!


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Awesome thread. :thumb:


----------



## Ollie B (Mar 14, 2007)

:lol:


----------



## Sangsom (Apr 8, 2009)

gorillas are well hard you wont knock it out


----------



## powerlifter8 (Jan 28, 2007)

I ****ing love random threads like this lol


----------



## Ollie B (Mar 14, 2007)




----------



## powerlifter8 (Jan 28, 2007)

LMFAO big ****e bag!


----------



## Pitman (Feb 2, 2009)

lmao @ the baby gorilla holding on!


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Those small ones with the babies were having a good go, that silverback is HUGE though!


----------



## Guest (Sep 23, 2009)

Yes, very lightly, almost as if I was stroking him :lol:

You didnt say you had to punch him hard...


----------



## BlitzAcez (Mar 6, 2008)

id try and run very fast with shoes that grip well


----------



## BigDom86 (Jul 27, 2008)

how big is the gorilla?


----------



## hungryshark (May 21, 2009)

ArZo said:


> How about a kick to the balls:confused1:


i think a punch in the face is less likely to p1ss it off


----------



## gumballdom (Dec 14, 2008)

i think id take the risk. Not a lot i wouldnt do for a million pounds lol. If he gets angry ill just close my eyes play dead and hope for the best lol.


----------



## T_Woody (Jul 16, 2008)

I would definatly £1M do anything 

Just how fast are Gorillas? Out runnable?


----------



## corbuk (Jan 18, 2008)

Hell yea 1 million !


----------



## jw007 (Apr 12, 2007)

I think Tyson did ask a zoo keeper once to let him in the enclosure and have a go....


----------



## man_dem03 (Oct 1, 2008)

for 1 mill yea........sh*t for £10,000 id let a gorilla have a free shot at me


----------



## dongrammar (Apr 12, 2009)

Do you actually have to knock it out or can you just punch it and run off?


----------



## Sangsom (Apr 8, 2009)

gumballdom said:


> i think id take the risk. Not a lot i wouldnt do for a million pounds lol. If he gets angry ill just close my eyes play dead and hope for the best lol.


but then it'l probly bum you :lol:

i know id rather die


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

jw007 said:


> I think Tyson did ask a zoo keeper once to let him in the enclosure and have a go....


apparently true, offered 10k supposedly but the keeper turned him down


----------



## SALKev (Feb 28, 2009)

yes - condition of gorilla has not been stated which means it must be dead already :bounce:


----------



## Rosedale6 (Jul 22, 2009)

Id give the gorilla a blow job first to get in its good books. Then as it came id punch it and run like fcuk. :cool2:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

S-A-L said:



> yes - condition of gorilla has not been stated which means it must be dead already :bounce:


yes it has. its chilled out as the picture i posted showed! dont be trying to bloody cheat your way to £1m


----------



## Will101 (Apr 14, 2009)

Rosedale6 said:


> Id give the gorilla a blow job first to get in its good books. Then as it came id punch it and run like fcuk. :cool2:


Wrong...very wrong. Did anyone see that programme where they guy was with the eskimos and had to bite down on the bo**ock of a live goat to castrate it? That was almost as bad!


----------



## coldo (Dec 7, 2008)

dongrammar said:


> Do you actually have to knock it out or can you just punch it and run off?


Dude, there is no way you are going to be able to spark out a fvcking gorilla!! :laugh::laugh::laugh:


----------



## Jux (Jul 23, 2008)

Is it a silverback, that's the question....


----------



## Dan86 (Sep 4, 2009)

Do you have to hit it face on or can you do a cheeky from behind shot so you run for your life?!?!?


----------



## B-GJOE (May 7, 2009)

coldo said:


> Dude, there is no way you are going to be able to spark out a fvcking gorilla!! :laugh::laugh::laugh:


If you know about Gorilla anatomy, and you hit them in the right spot, so all the shockwaves cause a chain reaction, and jolts its brain, it's game over. But i don't think I'll be putting any theories to the test. And how the hell do you come up with such random questions?


----------



## SALKev (Feb 28, 2009)

Ashcrapper said:


> yes it has. its chilled out as the picture i posted showed! dont be trying to bloody cheat your way to £1m


its stuffed :lol:


----------



## Propper Joss (Aug 22, 2009)

I would have a bash.

Would the gorilla be prevented from chasing me out of the cage? Am I allowed to dress up as a lady gorilla to alay it's supiscions?


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Propper Joss said:


> I would have a bash.
> 
> Would the gorilla be prevented from chasing me out of the cage? Am I allowed to dress up as a lady gorilla to alay it's supiscions?


no disguises, but you can shut the door on your way out and leave the ****ed off, freshly chinned gorilla to think about what you have done.


----------



## Propper Joss (Aug 22, 2009)

Am I allowed an accomplice to shut the door as I get out?


----------



## powerlifter8 (Jan 28, 2007)

Anyone seen the end of predator where arnie smashes a bit of 2x4 over the predators head as hard as he can, full force, and it just looks at him. Thats what would happen if I tried to punch a gorilla LMAO


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Propper Joss said:


> Am I allowed an accomplice to shut the door as I get out?


absolutely not. solo challenge only my friend


----------



## fitrut (Nov 20, 2007)

Ashcrapper said:


> for 1 million pounds?
> 
> its cage is open, you go in, have one punch then have to get back out the cage.
> 
> ...


nooooooo

its cruel!

:crying:


----------



## Khaos1436114653 (Aug 28, 2009)

I'd give a go, i've done some dangerous things in my life, atleast i could sell my story to the newspapers from my hospital bed if i failed:lol:

"YOU MUST SHOW NO MERCY..NOR HAVE ANY BELIEF WHATSOEVER IN HOW OTHERS JUDGE YOU..FOR YOUR GREATNESS WILL SILENCE THEM ALL"


----------



## fitrut (Nov 20, 2007)

Khaos said:


> I'd give a go, i've done some dangerous things in my life, atleast i could sell my story to the newspapers from my hospital bed if i failed:lol:


but...if gorilla would look into your eyes with his deep wet sad eyes, you still would punch him (or i'd say it-damn english grammar, whatever-i hope you understand what im tryin to say  )


----------



## cellaratt (Jul 16, 2008)

Yes...Make him follow your left hand by rubbing your fingers together in a outwardly and elevated position and then a swift upper cut to the chin with the right hand and I'm outta there...of course making kissy faces and baby noises until I get close enough to do the job...but this is really pointless question...


----------



## cellaratt (Jul 16, 2008)

fitness said:


> but...if gorilla would look into your eyes with his deep wet sad eyes, you still would punch him (or i'd say it-damn english grammar, whatever-i hope you understand what im tryin to say  )


I'de buy him all the fecking banana's he could eat in a life time to make up for it and adopt a gurrilla sanctuary...but thats alot of money to pass up on a creater that throws it's own poo around...


----------



## nobody (Apr 20, 2009)

are you allowed to paint your c0ck yellow to look like a banana and hang it out as a distraction before the punch?


----------



## scaff19 (Feb 8, 2009)

hahahahah quality post pmsl hahahaha


----------



## Khaos1436114653 (Aug 28, 2009)

fitness said:


> but...if gorilla would look into your eyes with his deep wet sad eyes, you still would punch him (or i'd say it-damn english grammar, whatever-i hope you understand what im tryin to say  )


damn conscience:crying: :crying: :surrender:

"YOU MUST SHOW NO MERCY..NOR HAVE ANY BELIEF WHATSOEVER IN HOW OTHERS JUDGE YOU..FOR YOUR GREATNESS WILL SILENCE THEM ALL"


----------



## Harry Sacks (May 3, 2009)

For a million quid i'd even punch my mum in the face


----------



## dongrammar (Apr 12, 2009)

Harry Sacks said:


> For a million quid i'd even punch my mum in the face


For a million quid i'd stop punching my mum in the face.


----------



## TOBE (Mar 9, 2008)

Hell yeah! I'm Bruce mother****ing Willis!!!!!


----------



## fitrut (Nov 20, 2007)

Khaos said:


> damn conscience:crying: :crying: :surrender:
> 
> "YOU MUST SHOW NO MERCY..NOR HAVE ANY BELIEF WHATSOEVER IN HOW OTHERS JUDGE YOU..FOR YOUR GREATNESS WILL SILENCE THEM ALL"


aawww, nice-you still have the one

lol


----------



## strongboes (Mar 17, 2009)

I'd do it for less than a million.


----------



## fitrut (Nov 20, 2007)

Harry Sacks said:


> For a million quid i'd even punch my mum in the face


oooh

but you never know-you can get back one for free 

unless your mum loves you so much and never punish u


----------



## nobody (Apr 20, 2009)

you mite get grounded with no pocket money


----------



## big_jim_87 (Jul 9, 2009)

id do it but id feel real bad for punching it. lol can picture it now, this fuk off gorilla jus sittin there all nice like, the you kreep up to it smash it in the gob and leg it, poor thing would be like what the fuk was that for? lol


----------



## anabolic ant (Jun 5, 2008)

depends if i'd just trained chest,cos then mine would be bigger than his...and then i wouldnt have to punch him...

saying that,if he had the hump with me,and was gonna go for me,of course i'd smash the cnut in the face...then i'd fcuking run like a chicken should!!!!

repped you for this thread,killed me as soon as i see the title... :lol:


----------



## Bulk1 (Apr 12, 2007)

It would be like you getting hit on the chin by a 2 year old baby... and its tiny legs wont carry it very far before u grab it and throw it around the place a bit.... just for a laugh to see how far you can throw it...before having lunch! Easy kill within 6 seconds... not a chance....just a pair of **** stained boxer shorts left as evidence.


----------



## offo (Apr 10, 2006)

if u were mates with the gorilla and whacked it full on would probs think u were playing to be honest,, if a wild one no...i think gorillas understand they are alot stronger anyways defo the domestic ones...i think they hold back i think alot of animals know it and dont want to hurt u cuz they think of u as a mate etc...


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

dongrammar said:


> For a million quid i'd stop punching my mum in the face.


:laugh:


----------



## LukeVTS (Dec 7, 2008)

Just a thought. Instead of trying to hit it as hard as possible, and try to knock it out (NEVER GONNA HAPPEN) what if you punched it really soft? It may see it as being petted. Then you could stroll out and pick up the £1m!

PS i voted no. And if there would have been a 'fvck that' option, i would have gone for that.


----------



## coldo (Dec 7, 2008)

Honestly, i need to stop reading this thread at work. Everytime i click into it, i read some new posts and laugh out loud.

I did it yesterday and i've just done it again today - UNCOOL.


----------



## BritishBeast (Jan 28, 2009)

I would do it if I had a secure metal cup and a helmet...


----------



## ZAXXXXX (Oct 3, 2008)

No I would'nt as it would be a cruel thing to do and if I saw someone do that I'd close the fcukin door and watch the show


----------



## GHS (Oct 6, 2008)

I wonder who the mong was that voted in the poll to bump this 6 month old thread up


----------



## tinkerbabe (Feb 15, 2010)

sorry...but id punch you for punching the poor gentle gorilla....now what about a kangeroo they fight back?


----------



## rodrigo (Jun 29, 2009)

id rather punch my wifes back door in


----------



## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

id get in the cage and unleash some monkey magic on its hairy ar5e


----------



## BigDom86 (Jul 27, 2008)

lmfao i remember this thread.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

haha who resurrected this


----------



## frowningbudda (Dec 16, 2008)

GHS said:


> I wonder who the mong was that voted in the poll to bump this 6 month old thread up


Im afraid that would be me 

Had to see what all the fuss was about,

bloody worth though Im in stitches :lol:


----------



## GHS (Oct 6, 2008)

frowningbudda said:


> Im afraid that would be me
> 
> Had to see what all the fuss was about,
> 
> bloody worth though Im in stitches :lol:


 MONG!!!


----------



## frowningbudda (Dec 16, 2008)

Pmsl

I voted no by the way,

popular misconseption is that the lion is the king of the jungle,

but that pansy bastard hides on the plains so he's got

the heads up when the "real bonafide" king comes -a-strolling :lol:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

just re-read this, hahaha some funny replies


----------



## big_jim_87 (Jul 9, 2009)

i just read my own reply and lol'd wtf


----------



## bawny (Jan 25, 2009)

Didn't see this first time round.....cracking thread!

And Yes....I'd have a dig....I'd go dressed as tarzan though to dupe him into a false sense of security!


----------



## big_jim_87 (Jul 9, 2009)

bawny said:


> Didn't see this first time round.....cracking thread!
> 
> And Yes....I'd have a dig....I'd go dressed as tarzan though to dupe him into a false sense of security!


lol should go as jane?


----------



## BoomTime (Feb 19, 2009)

iirc gorillas are massivley teritoral (spelling) so if you ran in smashed his face in and atually by some how managed to hurt it, it would back off


----------



## big_jim_87 (Jul 9, 2009)

okthen show us? go to the zoo and take a cam, post it up?


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Here we go again..... :lol:


----------



## BoomTime (Feb 19, 2009)

big_jim_87 said:


> okthen show us? go to the zoo and take a cam, post it up?


tbh its properly best left to the...how do i say it...bigger more gorilla looking folk on here :whistling:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Smitch said:


> Here we go again..... :lol:


hahaha a new audience


----------



## Jonnyboi (Aug 23, 2009)

It probably wouldnt even feel it if you smacked squre in the face last time i was in the zoo seen a big silver back holding a big fcuk off cabbage and it just bust it in half like a grape and started munching away lol.


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

On a side note, i went to monkey world in Dorset and even though there were no gorillas there it was pretty awesome. Monkeys are hilarious. :thumb:


----------



## ryoken (Jan 8, 2009)

Smitch said:


> On a side note, i went to monkey world in Dorset and even though there were no gorillas there it was pretty awesome. Monkeys are hilarious. :thumb:


i love going there lol, kids get bored quick but great for adults, some of the monkeys are funny as fvck and mimic your actions:thumbup1:


----------



## big_jim_87 (Jul 9, 2009)

ryoken said:


> i love going there lol, kids get bored quick but great for adults, some of the monkeys are funny as fvck and mimic your actions:thumbup1:


well then the care tacker wants to stop [email protected] in front of them then coz thats all i ever see em doing!


----------



## ShrinkingViolet (Jul 19, 2009)

My ex looks a bit like a gorilla - I'd punch the f*cker in the face for sod all! :laugh:

But a rare Rwandan Mountain Gorilla...? I think not! I am a fully paid up member of the 4Ape Alliance, I'll have ya know!


----------



## Mike Davis (Mar 3, 2009)

Fuking right would I, smash the c!nt and leg it. Ive ad sum scraps in the ring wi bbiog lads so I like to see it as a challenge haha.


----------



## BoomTime (Feb 19, 2009)

ShrinkingViolet said:


> My ex looks a bit like a gorilla - I'd punch the f*cker in the face for sod all! :laugh:
> 
> But a rare Rwandan Mountain Gorilla...? I think not! I am a fully paid up member of the 4Ape Alliance, I'll have ya know!


o rly?


----------



## BoomTime (Feb 19, 2009)

Mike Davis said:


> Fuking right would I, smash the c!nt and leg it. Ive ad sum scraps in the ring wi bbiog lads so I like to see it as a challenge haha.


not another keyboard warrior....

.......on guard muskateeer


----------



## big_jim_87 (Jul 9, 2009)

Mattchew100 said:


> not another keyboard warrior....
> 
> .......on guard muskateeer


lol he has his keybord ready to lunge with! on guard!


----------



## Mike Davis (Mar 3, 2009)

LOL It was a joke boys call down


----------



## big_jim_87 (Jul 9, 2009)

Mike Davis said:


> LOL It was a joke boys call down


as was ours mate catch up? :tongue: <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o></o>

<o> </o>


----------



## Mike Davis (Mar 3, 2009)

haha bad man


----------



## steelicarus (Jul 24, 2011)

No way never, was lucky enough to spend some time at a primate enclosure in china. They're just like children.


----------



## Miike (Jun 11, 2009)

I would give it a go but I'd feel a bit mean really.

Not that'd I'd do it any damage!


----------



## -Jack- (Sep 28, 2009)

**** yeah, i'd put that bitch down

or just run.


----------



## big_jim_87 (Jul 9, 2009)

lol imagen it grabs ya and fukin rapes your ass? in full view of all the kids at the zoo!

mummy what is that gorilla doing to that man? lol


----------



## cecil_sensation (Jan 26, 2009)

hahahahaha this is 1 funny thread. would i punch a gorilla lol

i think it would be worth the risk for a million quid. as if i dont knock it out id end up getting bumped by it, wheres the harm in that haha


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

steelicarus said:


> They're just like children.


that can rip your arms off


----------



## big_jim_87 (Jul 9, 2009)

Ashcrapper said:


> that can rip your arms off


he meant the little ones lol not the gorillas


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

i read in a book if you play with there ball's,this will pacify them,you can

then.

A kick them in the nuts and run like fvck,or

B Punch them in the face,like a pro boxer not like an mma pussy.


----------



## Jonnyboi (Aug 23, 2009)

Did tyson not offer a zoo money to punch a gorilla once because it was bulling the wee ones or hang on was it bruce lee lol


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

they sent bruce in dude ,with superior hand speed.


----------



## DEJ (Mar 11, 2007)

a lad from my local area punched a horse once and knocked it out cold! he took his daughter horse riding and it started bucking with his 5 year old on the back so he hit it, bit of a **** thing to do, but must of took some power to knock it out!


----------



## HJL (Apr 26, 2009)

GHS said:


> I wonder who the mong was that voted in the poll to bump this 6 month old thread up


I wonder who the mong was that then went to the top of the page and scrolled down untill he saw the mong who bumped it up :laugh:



mal said:


> i read in a book if you play with there ball's,this will pacify them


ooooh the images in my head of you tenderly/gingerly cupping the balls of a 300lb gorilla


----------



## GHS (Oct 6, 2008)

HJL said:


> I wonder who the mong was that then went to the top of the page and scrolled down untill he saw the mong who bumped it up :laugh:


 He bumped it up by voting in the poll mate  

MONG


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

ooooh the images in my head of you tenderly/gingerly cupping the balls of a 300lb gorilla


----------



## King_koop (Nov 20, 2008)

DEJ said:


> a lad from my local area punched a horse once and knocked it out cold! he took his daughter horse riding and it started bucking with his 5 year old on the back so he hit it, bit of a **** thing to do, but must of took some power to knock it out!


Lmao, that paints a great picture in my head.

As stated, Id grab the cvnt and run, carefully planning my escape.


----------



## King_koop (Nov 20, 2008)




----------



## sam2012 (Mar 28, 2009)

Id do it for 1 million,

My plan would be to move into the cage for a few weeks and gain his respect, we would become friends, eat bananas and sniff our fingers together all that kind of stuff. But in the dead of night when hes asleep id sneak up on the big fvcker and sock him in the face before making a run to the exit to be greeted by 1 million big ones


----------



## 44carl44 (Apr 24, 2013)

i would do any thing for a mil


----------



## MillionG (Nov 17, 2009)

I'd punch a fcuking baby in the face for £1million.. Gorilla is no problem.

Joking, I'd never punch a baby, awww.


----------



## the_almighty (Oct 10, 2009)

lol how fast can a gorilla run?


----------



## jimmy79 (Jul 1, 2009)

Ashcrapper said:


> the rules are very strict here. dont want this to get silly so I shall outline them.
> 
> *RULES*
> 
> ...


so you could smash it in the back of the head then?


----------



## Virgo83 (Jul 19, 2009)

44carl44 said:


> i would do any thing for a mil


 the amount of times ive had this debate with my mates....

really? you'd do anything for a million?


----------



## freeline (Dec 12, 2009)

id get gangbanged by a bunch of african-american porn stars for a £1m so asking whether id punch a gorilla for a cool M is nothing. id knock that b!tch out for £10,000 open cage or not.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

jimmy79 said:


> so you could smash it in the back of the head then?


very underhand jimmy but this is a dog eat dog world and for your inventiveness and cunning I will say no :laugh:


----------



## muscle monster (Sep 10, 2009)

If I was standing next to the door with someone ready to close it straight away I'd give it good right hook..... then flee like a little bish!


----------



## Hunter84 (Dec 23, 2008)

I'd spark it out and steal its MRS!!!!


----------



## freeline (Dec 12, 2009)

callingcard said:


> I'd spark it out and steal its MRS!!!!


i seen you out with your missus last week and it seems like you already have..


----------



## tuna_man (Nov 24, 2009)

Apparently roberto duran (ace boxer in the past) knocked out a horse cold with one punch.

but the rules in this make it a pretty hard choice. If it was a real cagefight, with no punch limits, i mightve considered it, would combo the **** out of it while on lots of EC


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

the_almighty said:


> lol how fast can a gorilla run?


fast as fvck ,even faster with spikes.


----------



## Hunter84 (Dec 23, 2008)

freeline said:


> i seen you out with your missus last week and it seems like you already have..


Thats no way to speak of your mother


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

callingcard said:


> Thats no way to speak of your mother


touche!


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

Punch him..... NO......

I'd run in, tie the fat b4stard up and make him watch while I pummelled his lady gorilla bi4tch friend right in the 4ss.... if she struggles she gets a slap, if she struggles some more I'll knock her out and sh4g her unconcious, then when i'm finished I untie the hairy man beast, wipe my leftovers down his face and give him a nipple twister, turn on my heel and leave flicking him the V's on the way out!!!

Well since we're all on a different planet tonight, thought I'd join in in style:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## freeline (Dec 12, 2009)

callingcard said:


> Thats no way to speak of your mother


you took my dead mother out:confused1:


----------



## ADZ7 (Feb 21, 2010)

Once about 15 years ago i was in america and saw a gorilla eating puke off his hairy hand that he had prev just brought up! Gross.

Also been up close and personal with apes in borneo so sod that they could easilly bench more than any human. What we would do 4 there strengh is the question . They dont have availability to the stuff we do haha


----------



## PHHead (Aug 20, 2008)

Ashcrapper said:


> for 1 million pounds?
> 
> its cage is open, you go in, have one punch then have to get back out the cage.
> 
> ...


No but I'd punch any man in the face for a million pounds, oh and maybe that silly b*tch kerry Katona!:laugh:


----------



## Hunter84 (Dec 23, 2008)

freeline said:


> you took my dead mother out:confused1:


**** off!!!! :laugh: :blush:


----------



## freeline (Dec 12, 2009)

callingcard said:


> **** off!!!! :laugh: :blush:


:laugh:i think jimmy carr said it to a heckler once. :lol:


----------



## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

No...as the rules state you need to knock the gorilla out cold to collect the money I will pass, because the skull density, thickness and the presence of prominant ridges and crests of bone mean:


You'd probably break your hand punching the gorilla

Bone is too thick/dense for you to knock gorilla out


This means it's impossible to knock the gorilla out cold and hence no one could collect the prize....and you've just ****ed off something 10x stronger than a human...yeah. Not clever.


----------



## Mr Eko (Apr 16, 2009)

i would laugh big time as it rips the limbs off of the macho men in here

its also cruel as fuk..gorillas are awesome


----------



## Guest (Feb 25, 2010)

I'd do it for £500 and that's no BS. I know no damn Gorilla is out running me even with a broken hand.


----------



## Guest (Feb 25, 2010)

It don't matter how thick it's skull is, it wouldn't be it's skull i was punching, it would be it's jaw/chin. And i don't mean to sound racist but if Bob Sapp can be knocked out with a punch then so can a gorilla.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Gym Bunny said:


> No...as the rules state you need to knock the gorilla out cold to collect the money I will pass, because the skull density, thickness and the presence of prominant ridges and crests of bone mean:
> 
> 
> You'd probably break your hand punching the gorilla
> ...


you dont have to knock it out, just punch it as hard as possible and make it out the cage alive.


----------



## goonerton (Sep 7, 2009)

What a ridiculous, yet pretty amusing thread!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"the rules are very strict here. *dont want this to get silly* so I shall outline them"

Priceless!!


----------



## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

dan-gorilla-boxer said:


> It don't matter how thick it's skull is, it wouldn't be it's skull i was punching, *it would be it's jaw/chin*. And i don't mean to sound racist but if Bob Sapp can be knocked out with a punch then so can a gorilla.


x2

david attenborough reckons 73% of gorillas have glass jaws (alledgedly....)


----------



## GSleigh (Jan 22, 2008)

Money money money! lol


----------



## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

a.notherguy said:


> x2
> 
> david attenborough reckons 73% of gorillas have glass jaws (alledgedly....)


How the fvck does he know??? :lol:


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

Gym Bunny said:


> No...as the rules state you need to knock the gorilla out cold to collect the money I will pass, because the skull density, thickness and the presence of prominant ridges and crests of bone mean:
> You'd probably break your hand punching the gorilla
> 
> Bone is too thick/dense for you to knock gorilla out
> ...


They actually have a weak spot,just above the nostrils.the bone is thinner

around 2mil thick.so a good blow in this area will smash fragments of scull deep into the brain,rendering him dead. theres an e in prominent.


----------



## Gerry_bhoy (Dec 25, 2008)

Ashcrapper said:


> you dont have to knock it out, just punch it as hard as possible and make it out the cage alive.


In that case, probably for 1 million quid.

Are they fast? 

Also if I was taking a complete tanking would someone eventually intervene or is it literally to the death?


----------



## MillionG (Nov 17, 2009)

Would punching a gorrilla in the face actually **** it off. Firstly I can't see it actually being much effected by it, secondly I doubt it happens much in the wild, so it would be more shocked than ****ed off?


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Gerry_bhoy said:


> In that case, probably for 1 million quid.
> 
> Are they fast?
> 
> *Also if I was taking a complete tanking would someone eventually intervene or is it literally to the death?*


you would be on your own pal


----------



## Guest (Feb 25, 2010)

a.notherguy said:


> x2
> 
> david attenborough reckons 73% of gorillas have glass jaws (alledgedly....)


 :lol: yeah ok.

Ive broke my hand hitting a human jaw/skull/face.

Im sure hitting a gorilla would hurt a lot more.


----------



## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

david attenbrorough also reckons that 48% of statistics are made up


----------



## big_jim_87 (Jul 9, 2009)

Dan said:


> :lol: yeah ok.
> 
> *Ive broke my hand hitting a human jaw/skull/face.*
> 
> Im sure hitting a gorilla would hurt a lot more.


thats because your a pussy! :lol:


----------



## Amero (Feb 16, 2010)

hmmm xD punch a gorilla in the Jaw ... well no1 has actually said it has to be with just ur fist right? so could I punch him in the jaw with a knuckle duster laced with a tonne of cyanide???

that would mean I have a) punched him in the Jaw... B) knocked him out c) collected the money


----------



## Bri (Jul 15, 2009)

lol i would punch the gorilla then show him my front double biceps, that would knock him out! lol does this count?

Bri.


----------



## freeline (Dec 12, 2009)

trained hard for this bout. 40mg dbols p/d for 6weeks coz i hate injections. then 1g of protein per stone of bodyweight (9g). training HIIT.

Knocked him out in the 6th. I won the first 4 rounds he won the last. I hit him with a superman punch early in the 6th and it was good night.

Proud to say he's made a full recovery and is now residing in Drusilla's Zoo.

cheque please.


----------



## freeline (Dec 12, 2009)

**disclaimer*

he was already chained and sedated.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Amero said:


> hmmm xD punch a gorilla in the Jaw ... well no1 has actually said it has to be with just ur fist right? so could I punch him in the jaw with a knuckle duster laced with a tonne of cyanide???
> 
> that would mean I have a) punched him in the Jaw... B) knocked him out c) collected the money


no it would mean you didnt follow the rules of using no weapons and therefore would get nothing. NOTHING I TELLS THEE!!!


----------



## wes (May 28, 2006)

Ashcrapper said:


> for 1 million pounds?
> 
> its cage is open, you go in, have one punch then have to get back out the cage.
> 
> ...


Hell yeah

but only with a tranq gun in the other hand just in case. :gun_bandana:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

its back!


----------



## nosusjoe (Mar 15, 2010)

Yes but I would run like hell. :bounce: There was one out here that malled a lady. Her face had so many plastic surgeries, and it is still not normal looking . She looks scary as hell.


----------



## nosusjoe (Mar 15, 2010)

:cursing:I eat people. :cursing:


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

Could a gorrilla bench 5oo kg's ?

Mike or bruce as spotter?


----------



## evad (Mar 17, 2008)

i voted yes as i assumed the gorilla in question was the one out of congo, id pay to punch that one in the face


----------



## mr.buffnstuff (Oct 22, 2009)

yeh.. what the hell!

id give it a go!

id pet it to start with lure it into a false sense of security and then... POW! He gets my iron fist to the side of its loaf!


----------



## WWR (Feb 28, 2010)

Would I punch a gorilla in the face?...

No.


----------



## deeppurple (Mar 13, 2010)

yea man.

failed to specifiy when so what i'd do is go in the cage when its asleep, shank one of its legs or arms to the cage and the show him who's boss!

possibly just to degrade him i'll give him a bitch slave and 'serve' his ass...


----------



## big_jim_87 (Jul 9, 2009)

lol


----------



## Jux (Jul 23, 2008)

As long as it's dead.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

deeppurple said:


> yea man.
> 
> failed to specifiy when so what i'd do is go in the cage when its asleep, shank one of its legs or arms to the cage and the show him who's boss!
> 
> possibly just to degrade him i'll give him a bitch slave and 'serve' his ass...


like your style


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Lol at all the people that said yes :laugh: good luck.


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

imagine how big a gorilla would be on...... :lol:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

mal said:


> imagine how big a gorilla would be on...... :lol:


On what? On high heels?


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> On what? On high heels?


on a massive planet!


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

mal said:


> on a massive planet!


:laugh::laugh::laugh:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

mal said:


> imagine how big a gorilla would be on...... :lol:


mile long arms n everything :laugh:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Ashcrapper said:


> mile long arms n everything :laugh:


I just worked out from measuring my own arm that if my arm was one mile long then my dcik would be 536.44800 meters :laugh: i'm moving to that planet


----------



## geeby112 (Mar 15, 2008)

How the fook did this ranger remain calm???

(notice how easy it was for the gorilla)



<div class=


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> I just worked out from measuring my own arm that if my arm was one mile long then my dcik would be 536.44800 meters :laugh: i'm moving to that planet


if that big mahoooosive planet exists and its like 1000's of

times bigger than our planet,do you think there is planet thats

1000's of times bigger than that one.

thats scary stuff right there,that means theres people out there

bigger than a mountain,or earth itself:w00t:huge bellends n stuff.


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

geeby112 said:


> How the fook did this ranger remain calm???
> 
> (notice how easy it was for the gorilla)
> 
> ...


And people think that if they punched that they would do anything to it, i'm sure the thing wouldn't even move


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> I just worked out from measuring my own arm that if my arm was one mile long then my dcik would be 536.44800 meters :laugh: i'm moving to that planet


yeh but you then need massive bucket fannies to fit your super sized cock


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

mal said:


> if that big mahoooosive planet exists and its like 1000's of
> 
> times bigger than our planet,do you think there is planet thats
> 
> ...


A big purple earth bellend lol :laugh: Picture the size of the womens parts mg: :crying:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Ashcrapper said:


> yeh but you then need massive bucket fannies to fit your super sized cock


I know :lol:


----------



## geeby112 (Mar 15, 2008)

I used to think they were slow, but in this video look how fast it moves off, fook that being in a cage with him i personally think it could rip your arm off and beat you to a pulp with it!



<div class=


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

mal said:


> if that big mahoooosive planet exists and its like 1000's of
> 
> times bigger than our planet,do you think there is planet thats
> 
> ...


Exactly where does the size end or is size infinite like space it's self, i mean how big can something get before it is too big and it implodes under it's own size and weight, head bending stuff


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

geeby112 said:


> I used to think they were slow, but in this video look how fast it moves off, fook that being in a cage with him *i personally think* *it could rip your arm* off and beat you to a pulp with it!
> 
> 
> 
> <div class=


I agree with this. One silly pull i bet, like us pulling the wings off a daddy long leg.


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

Ashcrapper said:


> yeh but you then need massive bucket fannies to fit your super sized cock


imagine the ejaculation,a whole sea of spvnk,not enough bog roll in

the universe,or is there?


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

mal said:


> imagine the ejaculation,a whole sea of spvnk,not enough bog roll in
> 
> the universe,or is there?


Yes there is cos the trees would be massive so they get plenty off wood to make the paper and the bog roll making machines would be making massive bog rolls :lol:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

would have loads of giant spunk socks floating round as space debris


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

What about Pluto it's about one-sixth the diameter of Earth. Is everyone there tiny? Plus a year on Pluto lasts for 248 earth years so everyone on earth wouldn't even be one yet on Pluto strange stuff.


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Sorry OP just realised i went off topic sorry.


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Ashcrapper said:


> would have loads of giant *spunk socks* floating round as space debris


Rock hard brittle socks :laugh:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> Sorry OP just realised i went off topic sorry.


its ok, adding to an already fine debate


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> What about Pluto it's about one-sixth the diameter of Earth. Is everyone there tiny? Plus a year on Pluto lasts for 248 earth years so everyone on earth wouldn't even be one yet on Pluto strange stuff.


there are little people on earth ,so its possible.whole planet fulls

of small people,imagine that?


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

So after seeing those clips from geeby112 do the people that said they would, would they still do it now?


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

mal said:


> there are little people on earth ,so its possible.whole planet fulls
> 
> of small people,imagine that?


I'd be a giant


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

Ashcrapper said:


> would have loads of giant spunk socks floating round as space debris


spvnk pants or spvnk curtains.massive bog rolls:lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

mal said:


> *spvnk pants or spvnk curtains*.massive bog rolls:lol: :lol: :lol:


Is there a man in the world that hasn't done that? lol


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> I'd be a giant


they would come to you for advice,like on diet and gear n stuff!


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

mal said:


> they would come to you for advice,like on diet and gear n stuff!


:laugh: Yes but they are so small a full plate of food to them would be the size of a 5 pence piece to me


----------



## YetiMan1436114545 (Dec 7, 2007)

I'd flying triangle it.


----------



## Lois_Lane (Jul 21, 2009)

The REAL question is would you punch ME in the face?

Has his finger ready to neg in true internet warrior fashion


----------



## Virgo83 (Jul 19, 2009)

Lois_Lane said:


> The REAL question is would you punch ME in the face?
> 
> Has his finger ready to neg in true internet warrior fashion


I think a few people would after reading some of your more 'direct' posts :lol:


----------



## KRS (Nov 27, 2008)

Lois_Lane said:


> The REAL question is would you punch ME in the face?
> 
> Has his finger ready to neg in true internet warrior fashion


The REAL question is would you punch YOU in the face?


----------



## Lois_Lane (Jul 21, 2009)

Virgo83 said:


> I think a few people would after reading some of your more 'direct' posts :lol:


I actually met a guy who didn't take kindly to my comments on facebook the other day. On facebook he was telling me how my muscles don't mean **** and he would destroy me. When i met him he shook my hand and wished me good luck with my show :lol: :lol: :lol:



KRS said:


> The REAL question is would you punch YOU in the face?


I have done before mate in a powerlifting contest, it hurt quite a bit:thumb:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Lois_Lane said:


> The REAL question is would you punch ME in the face?
> 
> Has his finger ready to neg in true internet warrior fashion


would you be in a cage?


----------



## Lois_Lane (Jul 21, 2009)

Ashcrapper said:


> would you be in a cage?


Sure but you would have to have small hands to fit between the bars in that case:lol:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

the cage would obviously have a door :laugh:


----------



## YetiMan1436114545 (Dec 7, 2007)

Lois_Lane said:


> The REAL question is would you punch ME in the face?
> 
> Has his finger ready to neg in true internet warrior fashion


No you are the closest that any human being has come to being the real life superman! I would prefer to grapple with a shark!


----------



## Lois_Lane (Jul 21, 2009)

YetiMan said:


> No you are the closest that any human being has come to being the real life superman! I would prefer to grapple with a shark!


 :lol: The funny thing is when i saw you reply my first thought was "yeti is one guy i truly would not want to fight":thumbup1:

Fvck lets be honest i couldn't fight my way out of a wet paper bag at the moment i have that little energy


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

never imagined this getting to 300 posts hahaha


----------



## strongasanox (Mar 14, 2008)

i remember years ago,me and a few pals went to duidley zoo,,there was this evil lookin gorilla behind a reinforced glass screen,,one of my pals started acting a prat mimicking the gorilla,,basically just winding it up,,it went berserk and started running at the glass,,it was foookin scary as foook,,if it ever got loose it would have killed us no doubt,,,so no way would i go near one let alone punch one lol


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Ashcrapper said:


> never imagined this getting to 300 posts hahaha


I know shows you how many mental people about :laugh:


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

this thread is fvkin massive


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

mal said:


> this thread is fvkin massive


It be even bigger in one of those massive planets :laugh: it be 1000 posts on one of those lol


----------



## evad (Mar 17, 2008)

i would like to punch ash in the face, he smells like a dead gorilla's penis, does that count?


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> It be even bigger in one of those massive planets :laugh: it be 1000 posts on one of those lol


2000 on one of those massive spvnk socks:lol:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

mal said:


> 2000 on one of those massive spvnk socks:lol:


:laugh: Your mad


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

So, as we're 21 pages in so far........ Has anyone actually punched said gorilla in the coupon yet????? :lol: :lol:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> So, as we're 21 pages in so far........ Has anyone actually punched said gorilla in the coupon yet????? :lol: :lol:


No we actually lost the plot and started talking about massive planets and 1 mile long arms lol


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> No we actually lost the plot and started talking about massive planets and 1 mile long arms lol


Oh aye and some dirty f***er was yappin about spvnk socks:lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> Oh aye and some dirty f***er was yappin about spvnk socks:lol: :lol: :lol:


Yes that was Ashcrapper then Mal joined in i think those 2 had spunky socks laying about :lol:


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> Yes that was Ashcrapper then Mal joined in i think those 2 had spunky socks laying about :lol:


I wonder who the sock actually belongs too:lol:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> I wonder who the sock actually belongs too:lol:


I think Ashcrapper and Mal share their spunky socks lol you could ask for a lend of them :laugh:

Me on the other hand i use curtains :blink:


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

davetherave said:


> i would like to punch ash in the face, he smells like a dead gorilla's penis, does that count?


:lol:imagine being raped by a gorilla.ooooooo nasty and he wipes his cok

on your new curtains.


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> I think Ashcrapper and Mal share their spunky socks lol, do you wanna share mine????? :wub:


Erm no thanks pal:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

mal said:


> :lol:imagine being raped by a gorilla.ooooooo nasty and *he wipes his cok*
> 
> *
> on your new curtains*.


 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :laugh::laugh:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> Erm no thanks pal:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


It's good cos when you have finished using the sock you can throw it up towards the ceiling and they will stick there until the nest time it's needed lol


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> Erm no thanks pal:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


****er i never said that lmao :laugh:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> I wonder where my spunky socks actually went


 :lol:


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

hahahaha good man!!!!


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> hahahaha good man!!!!


This thread has lost the plot and i think it's class


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> This thread has lost the plot and i think it's class


Aye mate, a good bit of harmless banter goes down a treat in amongst all the serious stuff:thumb:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> Aye mate, a good bit of harmless banter goes down a treat in amongst all the serious stuff:thumb:


Aye if your not laughing your crying in this life


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

all you need now is some input from nosusjoe:whistling: :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> Aye if your not laughing your crying in this life


I prefer to cry with laughter certainly..... humour is my spice of life


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

mal said:


> all you need now is some input from nosusjoe:whistling: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Lmao where is he when you need some useless chat lol


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> I prefer to cry with laughter certainly..... humour is my spice of life


Humour gets you women

P.S so i have been told


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Ashcrapper get smoking that crystal meth so you can come up with another cracker


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> Humour gets you women
> 
> P.S so i have been told


Is that why your a virgin:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Know what the funniest thing is about this thread, 113 people said they would lol


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> Is that why your a virgin:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Yes how did you know :blush:


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> Yes how did you know :blush:


Coz I'm one too and can sniff them out at 100 yards:thumb:


----------



## scotty3968 (Jul 7, 2009)

i would level it with a left hook and use it as a scarf........haaaaa


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

I was in the supermarket shopping and i went to the counter with my one tomato my half a dozen eggs my small tub of butter and one oxo cube.

The girl scanned the stuff through and said to me are you single?

I said "yes how did you know cos of my wee shopping list"?

She said no "it's cos your an ugly bastard" :huh:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> Coz I'm one too and can sniff them out at 100 yards:thumb:


It's not the virgin part you smell of me, it's shite you smell :lol:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

scotty3968 said:


> i would level it with a left hook and use it as a scarf........haaaaa


:laugh::laugh::laugh: Yes i kn ow you would :laugh:


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> It's not the virgin part you smell of me, it's shite you smell :lol:


haha hey pal, dont put yourself down...... thats wot your gym buddies are for:lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> haha hey pal, dont put yourself down...... thats wot your gym buddies are for:lol: :lol: :lol:


True my gym buddy is for shouting at make me feel better lol


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

So back on topic would you let a gorilla kick you in the gonads?


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> So back on topic would you let a gorilla kick you in the gonads?


hahaha.......... no but i'd let one suck me gonads:thumb:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> hahaha.......... no but i'd let one suck me gonads:thumb:


A male one or a female one???


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> A male one or a female one???


both..... i'd let them tag team me:lol: :lol:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> both..... i'd let them tag team me:lol: :lol:


Oh so you play for the reds and the blues  nice


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> Oh so you play for the reds and the blues  nice


only where beasts of the jungle are concerned..... something about the big brow that gives me wood....... or maybe it's the lack of action getting to me hahah:lol:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> only where beasts of the jungle are concerned..... something about the big brow that gives me wood....... or maybe it's the lack of action getting to me hahah:lol:


Come to Ireland i know a few beasts get you hooked up :laugh:


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> Come to Ireland i know a few beasts get you hooked up :laugh:


mate i lived there for 6 years...... gotta give the place the swerve these days :lol: :lol:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> mate i lived there for 6 years...... gotta give the place the swerve these days :lol: :lol:


Too many bairns about the place :tongue:


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> Too many bairns about the place :tongue:


Too many ex-stalkers buddy:whistling:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Rossco700 said:


> Too many ex-stalkers buddy:whistling:


I had a stalker once, i said to her "mother if you don't **** off i'm phonin the cops"


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> I had a stalker once, i said to her "mother if you don't **** off i'm phonin the cops"


 :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs ???......

A clit around the ear and a flap across the face.


----------



## Rossco700 (Oct 10, 2009)

I like it lol


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Take it easy i'm away to my cart:clap:


----------



## Críostóir (Dec 12, 2009)

Lousy_Bastard said:


> Come to Ireland i know a few beasts get you hooked up :laugh:


 :lol: :lol: :lol: where abouts ........ Limerick by chance :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Callofthewild said:


> :lol: :lol: :lol: where abouts ........ Limerick by chance :lol: :lol: :lol:


God no that place is worse than Iraq


----------



## Críostóir (Dec 12, 2009)

a hahahaha so I have heard tho never been! Only been to the west to Galway and the East to dublin and Kilkenny (Hurling Champs)!!!


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Callofthewild said:


> a hahahaha so I have heard tho never been! Only been to the west to Galway and the East to dublin and Kilkenny (Hurling Champs)!!!


Yes it's a serious shithole, Galway is good fun suppose it's the same as other countries good places and crap places


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

So would you punch a gorilla in the face?


----------



## Críostóir (Dec 12, 2009)

of course!! I need to pay of my student loan :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

watch bruce as he totally smashes a gorillawith total ease.


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

Callofthewild said:


> of course!! I need to pay of my student loan :lol: :lol: :lol:


:laugh: If you survive


----------



## Lousy_Bastard (Oct 20, 2008)

mal said:


> watch bruce as he totally smashes a gorillawith total ease.


:laugh::laugh: Total ease, lmao @ that clip


----------



## Eatmoar (Apr 27, 2010)

Only if it was sleeping.

On the other hand, 1 million pound WOULD be useful...


----------



## quinn85 (Jul 30, 2010)

yes, then i'd chokeslam him and have my way with his woman


----------



## PRD (Sep 4, 2010)

I'd do it for free , just so that i could say i sparked a gorilla out :lol: :lol:


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

its back!


----------



## Hobson81 (Jul 31, 2010)

Get me said gorilla and cage in Leeds by the weekend and ill have a go. hows the collection going? we cant be far off now it been over a year.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Sadly the collection was spent on other million pound questions. Faces were punched, poo was eaten and breasts where surgically sewn to heads.


----------



## scouse2010 (Mar 17, 2010)

a bit of topic but I read in one of arthur saxons books (am sure it was him) that he had a fight with a lion,just him and a lion in a cage.he said the lion did have a muzzle on him and speical gloves so he wouldnt be torn up by its claws.

How hard would it be htough if it didnt have claws or teeth?

Charles bronson also claim he had it with a rottweiler for money and won.


----------



## CoffeeFiend (Aug 31, 2010)

A gorilla can probally bench press 1000lbs without breaking a sweat.... I would punch him in the face if he was asleep lol, he wouldnt feel it their skulls are like 3 inches thick


----------



## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

Not sure whether this has been said as I'm not reading through 25 pages at this time of night but punching a gorilla would be a painful suicide, remember that woman that had her face ripped off by a poncey chimp? (Do not open link if easily shocked)

http://bossip.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/image5628188g-e1273605656893.jpg?w=450&h=337

Yeah well a gorilla's 12x stronger and would snap you like a twig and then shaft your half beaten to death corpse as your lights start flickering out! Maybe for £500,000 and if you were allowed to do it drunk and drugged up on pcp, crystal meth and crack it would seem like a more attractive offer.


----------



## CoffeeFiend (Aug 31, 2010)

madmuscles said:


> Not sure whether this has been said as I'm not reading through 25 pages at this time of night but punching a gorilla would be a painful suicide, remember that woman that had her face ripped off by a poncey chimp? (Do not open link if easily shocked)
> 
> http://bossip.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/image5628188g-e1273605656893.jpg?w=450&h=337
> 
> ...


----------



## CoffeeFiend (Aug 31, 2010)

Toby1 said:


> I don't think that gorilla was real


The thing thats been confusing me though guys is... Why is Gemilky in a cage.. and why on earth would we want to punch him in the face? :laugh:


----------



## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

"I think a Gorilla would give a Polar bear a pretty good beating... the Gorilla would lose.. but i reckon the Polar bear would get a black eye or 2"

That would actually be a good fight and one that I'd pay good money to see! I remember the Kingkong film where King Kong ripped the sh*t out of those two Tyranosaurs, I'm now wondering at how the fight would would go because polar bears are pretty slow and would try and swipe the gorilla but I'm guessing the gorilla would sidestep the swipe and run up the polar bears body and start beating it's temples to smithareens!


----------



## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

CoffeeFiend said:


> The thing thats been confusing me though guys is... Why is Gemilky in a cage.. and why on earth would we want to punch him in the face? :laugh:


I agree, only one word for that in my book........................."Kinky"


----------



## CoffeeFiend (Aug 31, 2010)

madmuscles said:


> "I think a Gorilla would give a Polar bear a pretty good beating... the Gorilla would lose.. but i reckon the Polar bear would get a black eye or 2"
> 
> That would actually be a good fight and one that I'd pay good money to see! I remember the Kingkong film where King Kong ripped the sh*t out of those two Tyranosaurs, I'm now wondering at how the fight would would go because polar bears are pretty slow and would try and swipe the gorilla but I'm guessing the gorilla would sidestep the swipe and run up the polar bears body and start beating it's temples to smithareens!


The Polar bear is the largest land carnivore and predator in existence... and obviously.. the biggest bear  but saying that.. Gorillas can crunch metal with their teeth and can push over jeeps..


----------



## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

I really want to see this fight now! :clap: :scared: :clap:


----------



## Jayden (Feb 10, 2011)

Google


----------



## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

Lol, just found this if you haven't seen it watch the video.:laugh:

http://www.wildanimalfightclub.com/lion-fight-tiger-vs-gorilla-attacks/bid/9883/Grizzly-Bear-vs-Mountain-Gorilla


----------



## BoxerJay (Jan 11, 2011)

It's a million pounds lol

I'm pretty light on my feet and got a decent right hand on me, but i seriously doubt i could spark out a Gorilla haha


----------



## Cabin.Fever. (Mar 5, 2011)

I punched a panda in the face. Didn't knock him out or anything but I gave him a black eye.


----------



## gymaddict1986 (Feb 27, 2011)

bugger that,not even for 2 million quid.wouldnt fancy getting my limbs torn off.would have to be retarded to do so.


----------



## Tombo (Feb 21, 2009)

Nahhh, not in that situation. If it was tied yup then maybe.


----------



## Patsy (Mar 14, 2008)

*Yawn:yawn:


----------



## armelec (Sep 26, 2011)

Sounds like a normal saturday night in town where i live.. only without the 1mill payout!

I'd be up for it.. aslong as i can change one of the rules.. i want the door closing behind me.. i don't want the hairy **** trying to escape after ive started!  haha


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

no rule changes.


----------



## armelec (Sep 26, 2011)

Ashcrapper said:


> no rule changes.


Feck.. looks like i'll have to chase the bugger then!


----------



## Sureno (Feb 8, 2011)

This is so mean, I don't think I could do it regardless how much I wanted the money :-(


----------



## Queenie (May 30, 2013)

Oops,..


----------



## Conscript (Sep 5, 2010)

I'd spark that mofo out with a vulcan death pinch, only if it got lary though, or insulted the misses, won't stand for it!


----------



## Dorian Gray (Dec 5, 2011)

Ashcrapper said:


> Its not a ferocious gorilla. Its just chilling out like this:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


chest is lacking a bit, needs to cut also, head to the diet section for further critique of macros etc


----------



## c2c (Feb 28, 2011)

Instesting, not just a moral issue of right or wrong, but survival plays a part too.


----------



## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

I would for a million £ i would punch a gorilla square in the face but first light my self on fire with firesafe liquid rubbed on like stuntmen use, that way the gorilla would not touch me & i would be a million richer .


----------



## AK-26 (May 29, 2011)

i reckon i'd risk it for a million, i'd plan how i'd approach it and all that but something tells me i wouldn't live to spend that million :lol:


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish (Mar 18, 2011)

AK-26 said:


> i reckon i'd risk it for a million, i'd plan how i'd approach it and all that but something tells me i wouldn't live to spend that million :lol:


Dont worry my man i'll be right there to spend it for ya


----------



## Matt 1 (May 8, 2010)

who bumped this relic back up haha


----------



## kingdale (Nov 2, 2010)

how big is the cage?


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish (Mar 18, 2011)

kingdale said:


> how big is the cage?


Lol dont think there was any talk of a cage


----------



## kingdale (Nov 2, 2010)

Ackee&Saltfish said:


> Lol dont think there was any talk of a cage


think ill pass, unless its a baby gorilla than ill destroy the ****er


----------



## Daedalus (Apr 16, 2012)

Erm no

They are immensely strong, weigh 800 pounds or more and could tear you apart like it takes a sht!


----------



## DutchTony (Sep 25, 2011)

Yes I would. After i'd kick him in the nuts!!!!!!


----------



## Fullhouse (Mar 31, 2010)




----------



## phoenixlaw (Mar 5, 2012)

I haven't read all the pages in this thread but no I wouldn't. £1.000.000 is not enough to handle the backlash afterwards. Look at that woman who threw that cat in a bin! Your planning on going up to a gorilla(silverbacks can get upto 30+stone in weight) who is an endangered species and plant one on his face. If your lucky enough to get out you wouldn't be a pretty picture and would be lucky to walk.


----------



## shoulders (May 17, 2012)

just read all the way through went a bit off topic in the middle but

i think id have a go IF there was a door either end of the cage so i could run in smash him and keep running out the other door


----------



## The Guvnor (May 17, 2010)

Voted no as the dead cannot spend money! 

I can see no positive outcome for me if I tried to punch a gorilla! LoL


----------



## waddy9494 (Mar 9, 2012)

Id do pretty much anything for a million quid.


----------



## ricey (Nov 28, 2008)

how about a silver back gorilla? the size of them beasts! head like a rock. big bungelows for hands, no thankyou please.


----------



## Simspin (Sep 5, 2011)

i'll do it for the love of it no fee!


----------



## leeds_01 (Aug 6, 2008)

id give it a go for a mil

i seen those big bastards in the zoo tho they meaty as **** - all upper body - prob rip u apart if they get hold of u aint they 9 times stronger than man or summat?


----------



## animal adam (Sep 1, 2010)

**** yeah why not, but if it got hold of you your pretty much dead.


----------



## 36-26 (Jun 30, 2009)

leeds_01 said:


> id give it a go for a mil
> 
> i seen those big bastards in the zoo tho they meaty as **** - all upper body - prob rip u apart if they get hold of u aint they 9 times stronger than man or summat?


Thats a chimp, about 10 times stronger, Gorillas would be a lot stronger even than that


----------



## scotty64 (Apr 15, 2012)

Fcuk yeah I'd do it, I have 10 foot arms.

Kind regards

Inspector Gadget

x


----------



## jay101 (Aug 9, 2011)

Happy slapping


----------



## alan_wilson (Feb 25, 2012)

One of the funniest questions ever! Brilliant!


----------



## gymgym (Mar 20, 2012)

Pfftttttttttttttttttt !!!!! Brillant thread :lol:

Here is a gorilla >



Punch in face > death > million pounds never existed!


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

I like to think l have a decent dig on me but not a fu*king prayer would l risk being beat to death.

They dont do Queensbury rules you know, nasty bastards.


----------



## zack amin (Mar 13, 2012)

hahah queensbury rules lol to be honest tho if you hit it would it react? would it even consider you a threat? for all we know it may not even feel it cause that is one big mother fker, but yeah i think id try it take some physiching uptho lol


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

bigjuice said:


> hahah queensbury rules lol to be honest tho if you hit it would it react? would it even consider you a threat? for all we know it may not even feel it cause that is one big mother fker, but yeah i think id try it take some physiching uptho lol


im not animal expert but I think it would see you as a threat if you punched it in the face


----------



## silver (Feb 18, 2010)

yes but only if its dead :laugh:


----------



## Conscript (Sep 5, 2010)

Ashcrapper said:


> im not animal expert but I think it would see you as a threat if you punched it in the face


Yes it's unlikely that it would sweep you off your feet and stick it's teat in your mouth with a maternal look in it's eye :lol:


----------



## scotty64 (Apr 15, 2012)

Check this badboy out:


----------



## scotty64 (Apr 15, 2012)




----------



## big_jim_87 (Jul 9, 2009)

id smack it one! then rape it!


----------



## omz187 (Jun 4, 2012)

id jab it and get out quick but i wouldn't take a big swing, for a million pounds id do it 10 times


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

omz187 said:


> id jab it and get out quick but i wouldn't take a big swing, for a million pounds id do it 10 times


not allowed sorry.


----------



## Beats (Jun 9, 2011)

Defo give it a try for a million like!!

Get in the cage, banjo it in the face then get out the cage as quick as possible seems like easy money to me


----------



## The Guvnor (May 17, 2010)

^ LOL -I think the gorilla would be right behind you on the way out or even worse a gust of wind and the cage door closes over or in your attempt to exit the cage pronto you slip on some Gorilla sh1t etc. 

I've been to the zoo - those silverbacks look angry all the time!

Is a million enough?


----------



## B.Johnson (Mar 12, 2012)

The Guvnor said:


> ^ LOL -I think the gorilla would be right behind you on the way out or even worse a gust of wind and the cage door closes over or in your attempt to exit the cage pronto you slip on some Gorilla sh1t etc.
> 
> I've been to the zoo - those silverbacks look angry all the time!
> 
> Is a million enough?


That video made me laugh. Some hardcore music and a picture of two gorrillas going at it! Random as fcuk:lol:


----------



## The Guvnor (May 17, 2010)

^ I know I typed gorilla fighting on youtube and it was hit number 1! LoL

I think we need to eat more bananas and sit around a lot more - seems to work for the gorillas!


----------



## Tanman (Jun 8, 2012)

Id do alot worse then that for a million...


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

as the other two are back up there seems only right this joins it :lol:


----------



## Ben_Dover (Apr 12, 2012)

Ashcrapper said:


> as the other two are back up there seems only right this joins it :lol:


I think we need a new, up to date one also??


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Ben_Dover said:


> I think we need a new, up to date one also??


I will begin the research


----------



## SwAn1 (Jun 4, 2012)

Make it stop


----------



## Ben_Dover (Apr 12, 2012)

Ashcrapper said:


> I will begin the research


Be sure to tag me in, I want first vote!!!


----------



## Dark sim (May 18, 2013)

I've always wanted to go in with a gorilla.

I would give it punch, but i don't think it would be phased in the slightest. Hopefully, I could just casually walk out.


----------



## A_L (Feb 17, 2012)

They don't mess about Gorilla's, I've seen Disney's Tarzan.......Fcuk that!


----------



## BettySwallocks (Aug 1, 2012)

I'd down a pint of tren and leather it for a million.


----------



## NorthernSoul (Nov 7, 2011)

Rather this than the mike tyson punch


----------



## Fortunatus (Apr 12, 2013)

I'd jab him in the nose then say "come at me bro"


----------



## Southern Karate Guy (Feb 27, 2014)

Ashcrapper said:


> no, but its a peaceful gorilla and is sat there minding its own business until you smash it in the face.


So ashcrapper are you now inciting violence to peaceful gorillas now ,i would rather give the million pounds to the gorilla to punch some deserving idiots in the face


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

amigamike said:


> So ashcrapper are you now inciting violence to peaceful gorillas now ,i would rather give the million pounds to the gorilla to punch some deserving idiots in the face


gorillas have no concept of money Michael. deary me


----------



## comfla (Feb 26, 2013)

that gorilla would have you dead before you even jabbed it. you couldn't even jab a chimpanzee nevermind it's big cousin!


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

comfla said:


> that gorilla would have you dead before you even jabbed it. you couldn't even jab a chimpanzee nevermind it's big cousin!


no gorilla has been chosen for the task yet. it could be a very laid back gorilla


----------



## Southern Karate Guy (Feb 27, 2014)

Ashcrapper said:


> gorillas have no concept of money Michael. deary me


True but the same can be said for a lot of people


----------



## Edinburgh (Sep 2, 2012)

Stephen Hawkins before punching a gorilla in the face










Stephen Hawkins - the aftermath of punching a gorilla in the face










Just saying.........


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

so basically he stopped brushing his teeth after the gorilla hit him


----------



## big (Sep 14, 2004)

Ashcrapper said:


> so basically he stopped brushing his teeth after the gorilla hit him


And had to replace his glasses with rounder ones


----------



## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

Funcking tickled me has this thread.


----------



## mrwright (Oct 22, 2013)

Assuming it wouldnt attack until i hit it

Id gently tap it in the face then calmly walk off

Counts as a punch to the face just a very weak one so he barely noticed.

Wheres my money?


----------



## Monkey skeleton (Jul 8, 2012)

mrwright said:


> Assuming it wouldnt attack until i hit it
> 
> Id gently tap it in the face then calmly walk off
> 
> ...


Bro, do your research. Mr [email protected] clearly stated on page 1 that to receive your winnings you need to knock the gorilla out!

Honestly, theses amateur monkey punchers do my head in!


----------



## bigchickenlover (Jul 16, 2013)

KO a gorilla? Really? don't think the 2.5lbs of pressure applies to there jaw.. Ud have to hit it with a cattle prod!! Or Mike Tyson


----------



## 39005 (Nov 25, 2013)

queensbury rules?










against this? = no chance , you can see he's already had a punch on the lip and is not impressed , the guy who punched him has either run off crying or is in several pieces in the bushes behind










...even stone age people knew you had to jump one while he wasnt looking , altho in truth im not sure if this stone age guy is tryng to kill or shag it (tho if the former you can cover yourself in pig grease and make an escape , if the latter maybe the gorillas like y fronts)


----------



## mrwright (Oct 22, 2013)

Monkey skeleton said:


> Bro, do your research. Mr [email protected] clearly stated on page 1 that to receive your winnings you need to knock the gorilla out!
> 
> Honestly, theses amateur monkey punchers do my head in!


Knock it out or just get out of the cage alive,


----------



## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

you know what ? Iv changed my mind ! If i can use a ****ing sledgehammer ? Then yeah i would **** it in the face lol


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

nice to see this thread revived


----------



## Monkey skeleton (Jul 8, 2012)

Ashcrapper said:


> nice to see this thread revived


Questions on the meaning of life, is there a God? Would you punch a gorilla in the face? Have been asked by countless generations since the dawn of time, and will always be asked again!


----------



## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

Ashcrapper said:


> nice to see this thread revived


Well a thread with such a universal question deserves its merits mate , are we alone in the universe , do crab people exist ? And ofcourse would you punch a gorilla in the face ? .


----------



## ItsFuzz (Nov 19, 2013)

Ashcrapper said:


> the rules are very strict here. *dont want this to get silly* so I shall outline them.
> 
> *RULES*
> 
> ...


 :lol:


----------



## Machine1983 (Nov 27, 2013)

dont think u could knock a gorilla out with a punch


----------



## BLUE(UK) (Jan 9, 2008)

Ashcrapper said:


> the rules are very strict here. dont want this to get silly so I shall outline them.
> 
> *RULES*
> 
> ...


The first rule on one punch only is crap, if you want to punch it several times, crack on. I can only see it making the situation a lot LOT worse.

Second rule, I think that anyone stupid enough wishes to wear some of that foam crap they wear in kick boxes, it should be supplied free of charge.

Weapon? They should be allowed 'the rule of the thumb'(a stick no thicker than their thumb) but you've got to punch it first before you're allowed the stick. It'll be one angry gorilla.

The door may as well be removed.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

BLUE(UK) said:


> The first rule on one punch only is crap, if you want to punch it several times, crack on. I can only see it making the situation a lot LOT worse.
> 
> Second rule, I think that anyone stupid enough wishes to wear some of that foam crap they wear in kick boxes, it should be supplied free of charge.
> 
> ...


who the hell do you think you are coming in trying to change the rules? back off pal


----------



## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

Ashcrapper said:


> who the hell do you think you are coming in trying to change the rules? back off pal


Ah crap no weapons of any kind ? Hmmmm gotta talk to wolverine & get thats there andamantium skeleton surgery then


----------



## BLUE(UK) (Jan 9, 2008)

Ashcrapper said:


> who the hell do you think you are coming in trying to change the rules? back off pal


Oops, I got carried away.


----------



## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

BLUE(UK) said:


> Oops, I got carried away.


Bad boy bad...... Boy....... You deserve a spanking ! Now get back in your gimp suit !


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

BLUE(UK) said:


> Oops, I got carried away.


its ok mate, easily done


----------



## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

Can i attempt to seduce the gorilla first, leading it into a false sense of security and then BLAM!!!...lights out


----------



## BLUE(UK) (Jan 9, 2008)

infernal0988 said:


> Bad boy bad...... Boy....... You deserve a spanking ! Now get back in your gimp suit !


Steady on lad, steady on.


----------



## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

BLUE(UK) said:


> Steady on lad, steady on.


Wooooouuuhhhh got all exited there for some reason


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

PHMG said:


> Can i attempt to seduce the gorilla first, leading it into a false sense of security and then BLAM!!!...lights out


trying to **** the gorilla isnt against the rules looking back so I think we could possibly give this the green light


----------



## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

Ashcrapper said:


> trying to **** the gorilla isnt against the rules looking back so I think we could possibly give this the green light


See guys, its all about making the rules fit for you, not just changing them willy nilly.

I wish SOME people (wont mention names) in the thread would treat the scenario with the respect it deserves.


----------



## mr small (Apr 18, 2005)

On a personal note I feel it inadequate that the gorilla does not/has not been told of the untold danger that he (don't think you can get a female gorilla but what would happen if you injected a female monkey with test would it then become a female gorilla?)

I feel this has now became a witch hung upon a poor aminal to which I will have no part ! Plus the fact being that the moment you walk inside that cage ...your gonna get fuked up


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

mr small said:


> On a personal note I feel it inadequate that the gorilla does not/has not been told of the untold danger that he (don't think you can get a female gorilla but what would happen if you injected a female monkey with test would it then become a female gorilla?)
> 
> I feel this has now became a witch hung upon a poor aminal to which I will have no part ! Plus the fact being that the moment you walk inside that cage ...your gonna get fuked up


slow night?


----------



## mr small (Apr 18, 2005)

barsnack said:


> slow night?


Dragging in lol


----------



## 38945 (Nov 23, 2013)

mr small said:


> On a personal note I feel it inadequate that the gorilla does not/has not been told of the untold danger that he (don't think you can get a female gorilla but what would happen if you injected a female monkey with test would it then become a female gorilla?)
> 
> I feel this has now became a witch hung upon a poor aminal to which I will have no part ! Plus the fact being that the moment you walk inside that cage ...your gonna get fuked up


 Of course you get female Gorillas. Gorillas are not Monkeys.


----------



## mr small (Apr 18, 2005)

RS86 said:


> Of course you get female Gorillas. Gorillas are not Monkeys.


Hmmm interesting so are we punching a male or female because this could change everything


----------



## 38945 (Nov 23, 2013)

mr small said:


> Hmmm interesting so are we punching a male or female because this could change everything


 Female. Its now a question of morals, would you hit an animal? Would you hit a lady?


----------



## Stephen9069 (Dec 11, 2013)

Would spark him/her out then to prove it wasnt just luck would spark his/her's brother/sister out lol


----------



## Lokken (Mar 15, 2014)

Sure. I would walk up to it real slow and put my hand out real slow with my fist clenched I gently touch it's face with my fist so it looks like a friendship request. No one said anything about magnitude.


----------



## Blinkey (May 14, 2012)

Rule number one, never punch the mother in law in the face.


----------



## johnnya (Mar 28, 2013)

Yes I would but only if its sleeping and its hands and feet are tied, actuallyid maybe bum it just out of badness


----------



## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

johnnya said:


> Yes I would but only if its sleeping and its hands and feet are tied, actuallyid maybe bum it just out of badness


and thats how aids came about...


----------



## johnnya (Mar 28, 2013)

PHMG said:


> and thats how aids came about...


Are you sure


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

bump for vetran


----------



## Verno (Apr 18, 2008)

Oh fcuk me not again lol!!!!


----------



## vetran (Oct 17, 2009)

still saying no :lol:


----------



## nitrogen (Oct 25, 2007)

I know of someone who would be dare enough to challenge a gorilla to a bare knuckle fight. This guy is so good he would knock the silver back stone cold with one punch. His name is


----------



## monkeybiker (Jul 21, 2010)

nitrogen said:


> I know of someone who would be dare enough to challenge a gorilla to a bare knuckle fight. This guy is so good he would knock the silver back stone cold with one punch. His name is


WHO?


----------



## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

monkeybiker said:


> WHO?


RONNIE PICKERING!


----------



## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

Only if he burned my steak..

Not if it was Ronnie Pickering.


----------



## cris (Apr 11, 2012)

> bump for vetran


welcome back :thumb

just cos i have missed your avi


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

No but I'd chinese burn a goat


----------



## spudsy (May 13, 2009)

FelonE said:


> No but I'd chinese burn a goat


Kinky


----------



## The-Real-Deal (Dec 5, 2014)

FelonE said:


> No but I'd chinese burn a goat


Billy or Nanny?

Fkn evil creatures, Just look at their eyes.


----------



## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Natty Steve said:


> Billy or Nanny?
> 
> Fkn evil creatures, Just look at their eyes.


Dunno. You've put me off now tbh


----------



## Tomahawk (Dec 24, 2014)

Somebody ripped off your thread:

http://www.talkbass.com/threads/for-100-000-000-would-you-punch-a-silverback-gorilla-straight-in-the-face.769446/


----------



## EpicSquats (Mar 29, 2014)

I'd ask it a pointless question for a tenner.


----------



## Oioi (Jul 25, 2016)

EpicSquats said:


> I'd ask it a pointless question for a tenner.


 $1,000,000 question?


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

EpicSquats said:


> I'd ask it a pointless question for a tenner.


 what question?


----------



## Tomahawk (Dec 24, 2014)

Bump!


----------



## dtlv (Jul 24, 2009)

Tomahawk said:


> Bump!


 This one was on my re-bump list too - also giving it honorary status :thumb


----------

