# GOD DAMN HAEMOROIDS!!!!!



## Roid Devil (Apr 27, 2005)

Pain in the butt these god damn haemoroids are!!

Had them for years now and every time I take a dump...WHAM, the pain & itching comes and stays for hours...GRRR

Tried creams and sprays etc, but no way am I ramming any tablets up my ****!!!! 

FOOK going to the doctor, no way am I letting him spead my cheeks and put stuff up it...lol

Anyone ever suffer with this (internal haemroids) and cure it without surgery?

Matt


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## DB (Oct 31, 2003)

i'm sorry but rotflmao!!

go to the doctors mate!..they see old grannies wiht this kinda sh1t(excuse the pun lol  ) all the time

my mate had them recently.. his mum is a nurse and showed her...lol man i couldnt do that to my ma even if she's a fukin surgeon...her duties of that are done when we're babies!

go to the docs abd bite the bullet...errr i mean pillow lmao!


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## Roid Devil (Apr 27, 2005)

LOL, looks like I have no choice!!

Matt:bounce:


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## Killerkeane (Nov 9, 2003)

im sorry too mate but ROFL. Maybe you should turn gay and then it will make the whole doctor thing a lot easier lol.


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## Lee1436114491 (Jun 6, 2004)

LMAO

honestly though mate, go visit the doctor... Ive heard a visit from farmer giles can be quite uncomfortable lol


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## Lee1436114491 (Jun 6, 2004)

ps, the girl next to me said buy some anosol LOL


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## DB (Oct 31, 2003)

post some pics lmao!


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## Lauren (Jan 20, 2005)

Just go to the doctors, all he will do is clamp your a*se apart and inject them so they shrivle up!!!!

Dont worry, be a brave laf and visit the docs.

Book it today!


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## Lauren (Jan 20, 2005)

DB said:


> post some pics lmao!


That is just wrong!!!!!


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## Lee1436114491 (Jun 6, 2004)




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## Roid Devil (Apr 27, 2005)

Phones the docs and I gotta phone at 2pm as more appointments for today are being released.

I REALLY aint looking forward to this....the doc with his fingers up my rase...lol

Matt


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## Lauren (Jan 20, 2005)

YUK


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## Roid Devil (Apr 27, 2005)

that's not my fat **** by the way...lol

Matt


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## Killerkeane (Nov 9, 2003)

Roid Devil said:


> that's not my fat **** by the way...lol
> 
> Matt


i hope not! whoever that is is 8 months pregnant.


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## samurai691436114498 (Jan 6, 2005)

Aparently, they can do un intrusive laser surgery now.

One of my grandparents had them removed, they had to lie face down on the bed for about a month and it was painfull after that.


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## Roid Devil (Apr 27, 2005)

This is gonna be weird!!

The doctor i'm booked in to see is female, and not only that but she is absolutely GORGEOUS, tall, slim, big tits, and long blonde hair....I dunno whether to be thrilled that she will be playing with my butt or be scared..what do you think??

LOL

cheers

Matt


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## samurai691436114498 (Jan 6, 2005)

I think that if shes going to stick her hand up your ars3, Smile and de-clench it could be worse.


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## demon (Apr 23, 2003)

And there was me thinking your username was something to do with steroids!


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## megatron (Apr 21, 2004)

demon said:


> And there was me thinking your username was something to do with steroids!


ROFL

If it were me I would use some sort of small vermin to gnaw the infected vessels away.


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## Lee1436114491 (Jun 6, 2004)

Roid Devil said:


> This is gonna be weird!!
> 
> The doctor i'm booked in to see is female, and not only that but she is absolutely GORGEOUS, tall, slim, big tits, and long blonde hair....I dunno whether to be thrilled that she will be playing with my butt or be scared..what do you think??
> 
> ...


Well i would deffo be happyer with a woman sticking stuff up my hoop then a man lol


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## Lauren (Jan 20, 2005)

megatron said:


> ROFL
> 
> If it were me I would use some sort of small vermin to gnaw the infected vessels away.


heheheh oh my goodness, I dont believe u wrote that!!!!!


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## Roid Devil (Apr 27, 2005)

My appointment is at 3.50 today, so i'll be leaving in a few minutes, then i'll be back to let you lot know (give u a laugh) what the doc said.

Matt


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## Roid Devil (Apr 27, 2005)

Just got back from the docs...yup, she's damn fit bird who looked at me!!

Anyway, she had me lay sideways on the bed, put on her gloves and spread my cheeks apart.

The first thing she said was "WOW, that's really inflamed, red and looks painfull"

She could not ram her hands up my **** to take a look as it was too red and swollen and infalmed etc, so I got some butt cream to take away the swelling etc and i'm due to see her next week so she can play with my **** properly...lol

Matt


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## Lee1436114491 (Jun 6, 2004)

lol, sounds like you had fun mate


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## DB (Oct 31, 2003)

Roid Devil said:


> , so I got some butt cream to take away the swelling etc and i'm due to see her next week so she can play with my **** properly...lol
> 
> Matt


when ur there next week why not ask her about an anal lift or anal bleaching so u can impress ur partner lmao!!


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## Roid Devil (Apr 27, 2005)

I might ask her if she'll licl my crack while her finger is up there and if I can tug my todger at the same time...lol

Matt


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## Roid Devil (Apr 27, 2005)

this is the kinda thing i got...internal hemroid.

Nice huh?

lol


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## Lee1436114491 (Jun 6, 2004)

lmao, i can just picture it....

"er excuse me nurse, do you mind if i pull my pud while your stickin your finger down cadburys avenue?"


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## Lauren (Jan 20, 2005)

Lee said:


> lmao, i can just picture it....
> 
> "er excuse me nurse, do you mind if i pull my pud while your stickin your finger down cadburys avenue?"


Love the terminology Lee - classic.


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## InSaNiTy (Jul 26, 2004)

Fcuk man, do we really wanna hear this? I mean, why not just say you enjoying eating sh1t?


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## Roid Devil (Apr 27, 2005)

actually......

lol

Matt


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## hackskii (Jul 27, 2003)

You can give cayenne chili a try.

I have heard this works for your condition Roid Devel.

Take the caps.

Cayenne is good for the heart too.


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## samurai691436114498 (Jan 6, 2005)

hackskii said:


> You can give cayenne chili a try.
> 
> I have heard this works for your condition Roid Devel.
> 
> ...


Wouldnt that burn a bit ??

Chillie supposatory (sp)


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## hackskii (Jul 27, 2003)

No by the mouth.

It is very hot and is rated in therms.

The stuff I bought 1 lb for under $10.00 with a therm rating of 35000.

They have 70000 too for the same price.

Capsicum is the main ingrediant that makes it work.

Good for ulsers too.

I would take the capsule with a meal myself and maybe even a couple or even a few a day.

I have taken it on an empty stomach but it made my tummy warm, (not heartburn).


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## InSaNiTy (Jul 26, 2004)

You heard about that super hot sauce thats come out hacks? rating 16 mill  Apparently it can kill, cost around $250 a bottle


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## hackskii (Jul 27, 2003)

From what I know Habanero chili is the hottest around.

It tastes like crap but just is flames.

I dont know how much Capsicum is in it if any. I would stick to the cayenne myself.

That is good stuff for digestion and toning up the intestines too.

Said to aid in formulation of hydrochloric acid for those who have problems digesting food.

Dave's Insanity Sauce is the hottest hot sauce on the planet. One drop and you are on fire. That stuff is sickning *HOT*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is their web site..............they have a private reserve that is even hotter.

Its expensive and just plain hot. worthless in my opinion. I love hot but that takes the cake. It is for friends that you want to laugh at when they bite into it


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## samurai691436114498 (Jan 6, 2005)

One of my clients has a chillie farm here, grows all varieties


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