# Gary Speed, dead.



## Mars (Aug 25, 2007)

Jesus, the guy was only 42, what a very sad loss, RIP.


----------



## jake87 (May 7, 2010)

its unbelievable how someone who has dedicated the best part of their life on fitness pass away so young.


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Do you know how mate ?


----------



## husky (Jan 31, 2010)

unbelievable great loss to the game ,RIP


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Wow... No news of illness or anything, any news on what caused his death?


----------



## mal (Dec 31, 2009)

Very sad.


----------



## flinty90 (Jul 1, 2010)

Breda said:


> Wow... No news of illness or anything, any news on what caused his death?


must have been steroids !!!! :whistling:


----------



## Ste7n (Jul 12, 2011)

He was turning Wales into a half decent team, will be a huge loss for them!


----------



## jaydog (Sep 6, 2011)

apparently he hung himself....terrible


----------



## Mars (Aug 25, 2007)

No news yet, they just saying he was found dead at his home.


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

jaydog said:


> apparently he hung himself....terrible


NEVER !!

Man alive why would he do that.


----------



## Moonbeam (Jul 20, 2011)

What a shocker


----------



## Guest (Nov 27, 2011)

No frickin way!

Missus just told me, he was only on football focus yesterday!!

R.I.P


----------



## jaydog (Sep 6, 2011)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/8918628/Wales-boss-Gary-Speed-found-dead.html

...apparently so


----------



## flinty90 (Jul 1, 2010)

dont really know the bloke , i presume he was a footballer RIP , if he did hang himself then things must have been bad !!! not a good way to go


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Jesus ! Not another suicide ? After that Angie fae the biggest loser ... Both in their 40s....


----------



## Ryder10uk (Oct 3, 2011)

Hung himself


----------



## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

Makes me wonder if something was about to come out about him.. Sad news though!


----------



## Ste7n (Jul 12, 2011)

He must of been in a bad way mentally, was maybe embarassed to seek help as he was well known, who knows, anyway RIP


----------



## Mars (Aug 25, 2007)

Breda, have some respect FFS or fcuk off.

Both posts deleted.


----------



## Ash1981 (Jun 16, 2009)

I cant believe it, i really cant

RIP, Welsh legend


----------



## big steve (May 8, 2011)

very sad news RIP


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Mars:2644504 said:


> Breda, have some respect FFS or fcuk off.
> 
> Both posts deleted.


Mars, the joke at the end may have been unnecessary so I apologise but like I said it seems very selfish of him (a healthy, wealthy man) to commit suicide at this time of year. I don't know his circumstances but he had the means to deal with the problem without devastating his whole family.

And I won't be fcukin off mate I love this place


----------



## Fullhouse (Mar 31, 2010)

Goes to show you just dont know how long you have left


----------



## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

Sad. Can't even imagine the state your head must be in to see suicide as a way out


----------



## Thunderstruck (Sep 20, 2010)

Money and status cant stop depression though mate, no one is immune unfortunatley.


----------



## flinty90 (Jul 1, 2010)

Fullhouse said:


> Goes to show you just dont know how long you have left


???? i think he hung himself mate !!!! so he knew exactly how long he had left ... but i know what your saying

What situation do you have to be in to make that sort of decision ??? it baffles me obviously he cant have been bad off financially still popular it seems . what drives a person to that extreme i will never understand !!!


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

flinty90 said:


> ???? i think he hung himself mate !!!! so he knew exactly how long he had left ... but i know what your saying
> 
> What situation do you have to be in to make that sort of decision ??? it baffles me obviously he cant have been bad off financially still popular it seems . what drives a person to that extreme i will never understand !!!


I always think the press are involved in this kind of thing. I may be totally wrong but l always see a story lurking that will destroy them or there marriage and they cant handle it.


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Thunderstruck:2644526 said:


> Money and status cant stop depression though mate, no one is immune unfortunatley.


Can't stop it no, but certainly won't stop you gettin the best help money can buy


----------



## Thunderstruck (Sep 20, 2010)

But alot of people dont know they are depressed, they just get deeper and deeper into it and hide it from friends and family.


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Milky:2644532 said:


> I always think the press are involved in this kind of thing. I may be totally wrong but l always see a story lurking that will destroy them or there marriage and they cant handle it.


If this is the case mate then what he's done is very selfish. My opinion may not be popular but if he's taken his life because of a possible media story then I'm sorry but no sympathy for the man from me but sympathy for the family


----------



## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

Thats just it though isnt it, none of us could possibly understand, its ok to call it selfish and out of order etc but obviously the fella wasnt in the right frame of mind (to put it mildly) its extremely sad to think anyone feels low enough to put a noose around their neck and hang themselves, i mean how the feck would we know what it feels like to be that depressed? Having plenty of money doesnt therfore mean you can get a miracle cure.


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Milky said:


> I always think the press are involved in this kind of thing. I may be totally wrong but l always see a story lurking that will destroy them or there marriage and they cant handle it.


IF it is cause a story, when i lived in London there was a few rumours about him being......and thats all im saying.


----------



## Patsy (Mar 14, 2008)

Tommy10 said:


> IF it is cause a story, when i lived in London there was a few rumours about him being......and thats all im saying.


Still though mate, in this day and age i dont see it as a main reason to take your own life ffs. Sad as he always came across as a decent guy, you never know what is going on in someones mind.


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

PatWelsh said:


> Still though mate, in this day and age i dont see it as a main reason to take your own life ffs. Sad as he always came across as a decent guy, you never know what is going on in someones mind.[/QU
> 
> Totally agree but some things that are peas to one person are mountains to others
> 
> ...


----------



## Slight of hand (Sep 30, 2008)

The guy is dead 2 minutes and some pricks in here are trivialising it through banal speculation.

Fuking idiots.


----------



## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

Tommy10 said:


> We are all different aint we, would be a sad ol world if we were the same.. Condemnation is sometimes easier than compassion..
> 
> Poor fella, just watching the news now and nothing but love for the guy from everyone.


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

lukeee said:


> all the way


----------



## 36-26 (Jun 30, 2009)

Breda said:


> Can't stop it no, but certainly won't stop you gettin the best help money can buy


Why pay money to prolong the life you no longer want to live. People who commit suicide do not want to live anymore and that is their choice IMO, it is very sad for the people left behind yes but if they are so miserable and unhappy that they don't want to live then it is their choice to end their life if they want. Maybe he didn't want help.


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Slight of hand said:


> The guy is dead 2 minutes and some pricks in here are trivialising it through banal speculation.
> 
> Fuking idiots.


wind yer neck in mouth, its a forum, its what happens.


----------



## TAFFY (Jun 3, 2009)

absouletly gutted top bloke cant beleive some posts on here for someone to take there own live they obviously not in right state of mind,so people on here saying all this and tha wan take step back,before posting stupid things!!


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

36-26:2644610 said:


> Why pay money to prolong the life you no longer want to live. People who commit suicide do not want to live anymore and that is their choice IMO, it is very sad for the people left behind yes but if they are so miserable and unhappy that they don't want to live then it is their choice to end their life if they want. Maybe he didn't want help.


Because mate he might not want to live today but next week who knows, yea its his life to take but its the cowards way out he won't have to deal with the sh!t but his family will.

And before anybody asks yes I do know at least 4 people who have commited suicide and they were all selfish imo... They had no terminal illness but had come up on hard times just like 99% of the population


----------



## Redbeard85 (Mar 26, 2011)

It's a sad day when people choose death over life. Shame. Guy must have had some bad sh*t to deal with if that was his only choice. I hope he found his peace and that his family will be okay and they are allowed some sense of privacy in their grief.


----------



## flinty90 (Jul 1, 2010)

Slight of hand said:


> The guy is dead 2 minutes and some pricks in here are trivialising it through banal speculation.
> 
> Fuking idiots.


negged.... talking like a tit, its a forum and a discussion about Gary speed. no one here fcukin knew him so all is speculation, people are always going to be curious and question it, whats point in posting if no one was going to comment , its a sad day when you cant discuss whats hapening in the world...

A guy is dead yes thats sad,

he took his own life - yeah thats sadder,

to not talk about it and have a grown up discussion sadder still.. no one is disrespecting the guy , just wondering what makes someone do that (RELEVANT)

calling everyone fcukin idiots in a thread that everyone is keeping on topic Irrelevant !!!


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Slight of [URL=hand:2644588]hand:2644588[/URL] said:


> The guy is dead 2 minutes and some pricks in here are trivialising it through banal speculation.
> 
> Fuking idiots.


I have an opinion on ppl who commit suicide NOT Gary Speed and if you think I'm a fcukin idiot because of it I'm not fussed it the slightest


----------



## VeNuM (Aug 14, 2011)

unreal news, really. such a sad loss :no:


----------



## Jalapa (Mar 18, 2010)

I don't go along with the whole 'selfish' thing. It is a simplistic and naive way of looking at it. When people commit suicide they are not in their right mind, they are generally very ill with depression. Depression can be very sinister and trick you into thinking you are doing people a favour by ending things. Often in the mind of a suicidal person they actually think they are doing the right thing by everyone.

True it is devastating for the people left behind. I have been one of them. But to then call them selfish etc just adds insult to injury and is generally not true,


----------



## Mr_Morocco (May 28, 2011)

How do you know when you've crossed into wales?

The speed limit is 42.


----------



## Ts23 (Jan 14, 2011)

Slight of hand said:


> The guy is dead 2 minutes and some pricks in here are trivialising it through banal speculation.
> 
> Fuking idiots.


What pretty colours you have on your bar  and i thought i was disliked


----------



## flinty90 (Jul 1, 2010)

Ts23 said:


> What pretty colours you have on your bar  and i thought i was disliked


thats the advantage of power negging mate !!!!


----------



## Tasty (Aug 28, 2007)

Afghan said:


> How do you know when you've crossed into wales?
> 
> The speed limit is 42.


Negged for that, way too ****ing soon and completely out of order. A man just took his own life and left behind a wife and two kids in the run up to christmas and you think it's something to make a joke out of? On the day it happens? You're a real funny guy mate.

Whether people agree with what he did or not (don't see how anyone can decide whether he was in the wrong without knowing why he did it) have some respect.


----------



## Ryder10uk (Oct 3, 2011)

Afghan said:


> How do you know when you've crossed into wales?
> 
> The speed limit is 42.


Bang out order is that suppose to be funny?


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Jalapa said:


> I don't go along with the whole 'selfish' thing. It is a simplistic and naive way of looking at it. When people commit suicide they are not in their right mind, they are generally very ill with depression. Depression can be very sinister and trick you into thinking you are doing people a favour by ending things. Often in the mind of a suicidal person they actually think they are doing the right thing by everyone.
> 
> True it is devastating for the people left behind. I have been one of them. But to then call them selfish etc just adds insult to injury and is generally not true,


Totally agree , I tried it years ago, head was in a mess , thought it was the only way out, but i called a m8 when the pills had taken affect and next thing I know I'm waking up in A+ E getting my stomach pumped... For me it was a cry for help and it gave me the kick up the a.rse I needed... Never looked back


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Ts23 said:


> What pretty colours you have on your bar  and i thought i was disliked


You are


----------



## flinty90 (Jul 1, 2010)

Afghan said:


> How do you know when you've crossed into wales?
> 
> The speed limit is 42.


Not quite the time for that one Afghan mate !!!!


----------



## VeNuM (Aug 14, 2011)

Gary Speed was one if my generations player ,someone i grew up watching, he may have never played for the mighty Irons, but is a player i would have loved to have seen in our colours, fantastic player, always pleaeing on the eye to watch, its such a shame for him to do this, his family are going to have an awfull christmas.


----------



## Ts23 (Jan 14, 2011)

Tommy10 said:


> You are


What a gay answer


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Ts23 said:


> What a gay answer


Who dear ? Me dear ? How VERY dare you


----------



## Mr_Morocco (May 28, 2011)

OK, first off i didnt make that joke up i got texted it so shared it on here. I dont see how im being disrespectful, disrespectful to who? his family arnt reading this.

Secondly, ill probably get negged for this but ive got no respect for him for killing himself so soon to xmas, leaving his wife and children behind without a father. Theres familys out there who would love to have a father especially around Xmas time, for him to kill himself is selfish, whatever the reason. He's a celebrity which is the only reason the news is 'BREAKING NEWS' on websites, theres soldiers dieing here everyday, many wont be home for xmas and i bet they'd do anything to spend time with their wifes and daughters.


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Afghan:2644783 said:


> How do you know when you've crossed into wales?
> 
> The speed limit is 42.


Too soon bro.... Too soon


----------



## Ts23 (Jan 14, 2011)

Tommy10 said:


> Who dear ? Me dear ? How VERY dare you


Ooooo stop it you silly sausage you hehe


----------



## flinty90 (Jul 1, 2010)

Afghan said:


> OK, first off i didnt make that joke up i got texted it so shared it on here. I dont see how im being disrespectful, disrespectful to who? his family arnt reading this.
> 
> Secondly, ill probably get negged for this but ive got no respect for him for killing himself so soon to xmas, leaving his wife and children behind without a father. Theres familys out there who would love to have a father especially around Xmas time, for him to kill himself is selfish, whatever the reason. He's a celebrity which is the only reason the news is 'BREAKING NEWS' on websites, theres soldiers dieing here everyday, many wont be home for xmas and i bet they'd do anything to spend time with their wifes and daughters.


you know what mate i could read that thread from most people and believe that they were bieng silly, but coming from you , i totally respect your opinion on this situation... i hope you all come home safe for christmas mate i really do X


----------



## MrLong (Jun 26, 2011)

Toon LEGEND!

RIP


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Afghan said:


> OK, first off i didnt make that joke up i got texted it so shared it on here. I dont see how im being disrespectful, disrespectful to who? his family arnt reading this.
> 
> Secondly, ill probably get negged for this but ive got no respect for him for killing himself so soon to xmas, leaving his wife and children behind without a father. Theres familys out there who would love to have a father especially around Xmas time, for him to kill himself is selfish, whatever the reason. He's a celebrity which is the only reason the news is 'BREAKING NEWS' on websites, theres soldiers dieing here everyday, many wont be home for xmas and i bet they'd do anything to spend time with their wifes and daughters.


No you won't cause what ur saying is from the gut


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Jalapa:2644781 said:


> I don't go along with the whole 'selfish' thing. It is a simplistic and naive way of looking at it. When people commit suicide they are not in their right mind, they are generally very ill with depression. Depression can be very sinister and trick you into thinking you are doing people a favour by ending things. Often in the mind of a suicidal person they actually think they are doing the right thing by everyone.
> 
> True it is devastating for the people left behind. I have been one of them. But to then call them selfish etc just adds insult to injury and is generally not true,


No offence mate but how can it be anything but selfish.

Nobody knows if he was depressed which I doubt very much as he was on tv yesterday, but even if he was its still a selfish act.

I've never been in the mind frame where I'd want to end it all but the thought of my kids having to cope with never seeing, speaking or touching me again would stop me


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

poor ****er, left two young kids behind. RIP


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Double post


----------



## Big ape (May 5, 2011)

Afghan said:


> How do you know when you've crossed into wales?
> 
> The speed limit is 42.


Thats raw mate only died a few hours ago


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Breda said:


> No offence mate but how can it be anything but selfish.
> 
> Nobody knows if he was depressed which I doubt very much as he was on tv yesterday, but even if he was its still a selfish act.
> 
> I've never been in the mind frame where I'd want to end it all but the thought of my kids having to cope with never seeing, speaking or touching me again would stop me


have you ever suffered from depression?


----------



## dr gonzo (Oct 8, 2011)

So this is actually true? sh!t. does anyone know cause of death?


----------



## flinty90 (Jul 1, 2010)

Ashcrapper said:


> have you ever suffered from depression?


he is black mate of course he has !!!!


----------



## Slight of hand (Sep 30, 2008)

Ts23 said:


> What pretty colours you have on your bar  and i thought i was disliked


haha sweet

t'internet popularity is not really my thing.


----------



## Redbeard85 (Mar 26, 2011)

Afghan said:


> OK, first off i didnt make that joke up i got texted it so shared it on here. I dont see how im being disrespectful, disrespectful to who? his family arnt reading this.
> 
> Secondly, ill probably get negged for this but ive got no respect for him for killing himself so soon to xmas, leaving his wife and children behind without a father. Theres familys out there who would love to have a father especially around Xmas time, for him to kill himself is selfish, whatever the reason. He's a celebrity which is the only reason the news is 'BREAKING NEWS' on websites, theres soldiers dieing here everyday, many wont be home for xmas and i bet they'd do anything to spend time with their wifes and daughters.


You make a fair point. But in my opinion death is not and shouldn't be a laughing matter in any case. Selfish or not. You don't know what was going on in his head mate. I see suicide as selfish also as there is always that help out there to help, but in some cases people can't see that anything will help and does become a self obsorbed world for the victims. Being locked inside your own mind can be hell mate and just like self harming it seems like the only release these people can see.

I'll rep you anyway, because it was a fair point.


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Ashcrapper:2644867 said:


> have you ever suffered from depression?


I haven't mate that's why I said I haven't been in that mind frame, but I do know of some people who have been clinically depressed... Couldn't leave the house and what not but still have rational thinking.

Gary Speed was on tv earlier in the day so if he took his life over depression then it could it really have been that bad.... Also we don't know if it was depression so its all speculation at this time


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

flinty90:2644871 said:


> he is black mate of course he has !!!!


That would be malaria mate


----------



## Big ape (May 5, 2011)

They said on sky sports news he was found hung


----------



## Tasty (Aug 28, 2007)

Afghan said:


> OK, first off i didnt make that joke up i got texted it so shared it on here. I dont see how im being disrespectful, disrespectful to who? his family arnt reading this.
> 
> Secondly, ill probably get negged for this but ive got no respect for him for killing himself so soon to xmas, leaving his wife and children behind without a father. Theres familys out there who would love to have a father especially around Xmas time, for him to kill himself is selfish, whatever the reason. He's a celebrity which is the only reason the news is 'BREAKING NEWS' on websites, theres soldiers dieing here everyday, many wont be home for xmas and i bet they'd do anything to spend time with their wifes and daughters.


I'm always confused by this, didn't you choose to be a soldier? No one gets drafted these days, we've been fighting in wars for the best part of a decade. I have the utmost respect for the soldiers (and sympathy as the wars they're fighting in are nasty and unnecessary) and I'll probably get flamed by the patriots on here, but pretty much everyone currently fighting in afghan, iraq etc. chose to be there.

I also don't see how in any way it relates to this, what because you don't like the fact that he gets more coverage than soldiers that have lost their lives, it's ok to make jokes about his death hours after it happened? Twisted logic there mate, seriously.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Breda said:


> I haven't mate that's why I said I haven't been in that mind frame, but I do know of some people who have been clinically depressed... Couldn't leave the house and what not but still have rational thinking.
> 
> Gary Speed was on tv earlier in the day so if he took his life over depression then it could it really have been that bad.... Also we don't know if it was depression so its all speculation at this time


wasnt suggesting he was suffering from depression, was asking the question relating to people committing suicide. has it been confirmed he has actually committed suicide yet? either way its a very sad story.

Ive also no idea why the **** people are bringing soldiers into this, what has it got to do with it? worse than ****ing facebook


----------



## Lurgilurg (Aug 15, 2010)

Caught this on the news this morning I was shocked. literally 2days ago I seen him on the news when he found out who wales would be playing next in the world cup qualifiers. crazy


----------



## digitalis (Sep 13, 2011)

I think it's generally depression that causes someone to hang themselves mate.

I had a very close relative commit suicide many years ago and let me just say that the hole it rips in a family is never able to heal, so much so to the extent that years later many relatives of mine cannot mention his name and only reminisce briefly before all the grief comes back.

It will be 10x worse for the Speed family as he was so high profile, although as has been stated on the plus side they will be able to afford the best grief counselling money can afford.

Tragic shame.


----------



## Shadow (Aug 20, 2004)

Breda said:


> I haven't mate that's why I said I haven't been in that mind frame, but I do know of some people who have been clinically depressed... Couldn't leave the house and what not but still have rational thinking.
> 
> Gary Speed was on tv earlier in the day so if he took his life over depression then it could it really have been that bad.... Also we don't know if it was depression so its all speculation at this time


Sorry mate but there have been many recorded instances that when a person who has hit rock bottom and believes that their family are better off without them they hit a moment of clarity (this is the danger point) where they behave as normal as you can expect because they have it clear in their own head what they are going to do.

I'm not saying this was the case with Gary Speed but I hit rock bottom just after me and the ex-wife split up. For a few days I believed that I had ruined by 2½ year olds life and he was better off without me. I was lucky enough to have such a good mate that he made me realise that wasn't the case. If I hadn't had that chat I may not be here writing this now.

Non of us know what irrational or rational thoughts were in his head leading to him taking his own life but I would never regard it as selfish. Disappearing and totally abandoning your kids is selfish. Ending your own life because you believe the world is a better place without you is extremely sad...but not selfish.


----------



## flinty90 (Jul 1, 2010)

Tasty said:


> I'm always confused by this, didn't you choose to be a soldier? No one gets drafted these days, we've been fighting in wars for the best part of a decade. I have the utmost respect for the soldiers (and sympathy as the wars they're fighting in are nasty and unnecessary) and I'll probably get flamed by the patriots on here, but pretty much *everyone currently fighting in afghan, iraq etc. chose to be there. *
> 
> *
> *
> ...


I like you tasty and im not going to get in a discussion on this thread but that is the dafteset steatement i have heard in a long time mate !!!!


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Shadow said:


> Sorry mate but there have been many recorded instances that when a person who has hit rock bottom and believes that their family are better off without them they hit a moment of clarity (this is the danger point) where they behave as normal as you can expect because they have it clear in their own head what they are going to do.
> 
> I'm not saying this was the case with Gary Speed but I hit rock bottom just after me and the ex-wife split up. For a few days I believed that I had ruined by 2½ year olds life and he was better off without me. I was lucky enough to have such a good mate that he made me realise that wasn't the case. If I hadn't had that chat I may not be here writing this now.
> 
> Non of us know what irrational or rational thoughts were in his head leading to him taking his own life but I would never regard it as selfish. Disappearing and totally abandoning your kids is selfish. Ending your own life because you believe the world is a better place without you is extremely sad...but not selfish.


good post


----------



## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

When someone is in the mental state that suicide is genuinely considered (not a half ****d attention seeking effort) you will unlikely be thinking with rationality.

Is it selfish? Imo yes, but I don't think it makes you a bad or selfish person. You could say it's selfish of the family to not let someone very unhappy to kill themselves...

I think some people really underestimate the power of mental health, and over estimate the ability of many people to just 'man up' or 'deal with it'


----------



## Thunderstruck (Sep 20, 2010)

Heard a good quote once about depression......."misunderstood by millions, invisible to many"

You have got to be depressed (or kinky) to hang yourself, to be in that frame of mind where you think killing yourself is the best option can only be caused by not being in the right state of mind. Depression is an inbalance of chemicals in the brain so for people to ever say 'oh they got millions' or 'theyre a celebrity what they gotta be depressed about' is totaly cack.

*At the end of the day no matter what you earn, no matter how many kids you have. no matter how many houses/businesses you own or how stunning your girlfriend is or how great a car you drive........................we are all just human.*

RIP Gary Speed.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

another good post, a lot of bollocks being posted


----------



## Tasty (Aug 28, 2007)

When you're that low, you hate yourself that much, you honestly do believe that the world would be a better place without you. I doubt very much Gary Speed sat and thought "this will wreck my kids and wife but sod it, I need an escape", if he was a proud man and didn't talk to anyone about how he felt there's a chance that nobody told him otherwise. You talk yourself into it more each day, each time something goes wrong, every time you get that bit lower.

People that haven't experienced depression think you're just the same person, but really sad which isn't the case, it changes the way you think about everything, once it sets in you have no control over it. You can't just switch it off... if he was depressed and it had been eating away at him for that long then I personally feel so awful for him, as I do for anyone in that situation - imagine what was going through his head? What he did was bad for many reasons, the family he'll leave behind etc. but I doubt by the end he felt he had another option.


----------



## aveit (Nov 7, 2010)

all the press camped outside his house trying to get a story , turning it into a circus !................. how fukcing bad is that.


----------



## flinty90 (Jul 1, 2010)

aveit said:


> all the press camped outside his house trying to get a story , turning it into a circus !................. how fukcing bad is that.


yes mate they certainly have no respect for anything pal !!!!


----------



## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

Top footballer, top pro, came accross as a good bloke.

Big loss to sport

R.I.P.


----------



## digitalis (Sep 13, 2011)

I ****in can't stand the British press, lower than whale **** let them grieve in peace it will be many, many months possibly years before the family even start to recover from this.

Also, good post tasty.


----------



## Matt 1 (May 8, 2010)

jake87 said:


> its unbelievable how someone who has dedicated the best part of their life on fitness pass away so young.


some of the fittest people die in their 20s mate, its a disorder where the heart grows too much, not all the uncommon


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Shadow:2644905 said:


> Sorry mate but there have been many recorded instances that when a person who has hit rock bottom and believes that their family are better off without them they hit a moment of clarity (this is the danger point) where they behave as normal as you can expect because they have it clear in their own head what they are going to do.
> 
> I'm not saying this was the case with Gary Speed but I hit rock bottom just after me and the ex-wife split up. For a few days I believed that I had ruined by 2½ year olds life and he was better off without me. I was lucky enough to have such a good mate that he made me realise that wasn't the case. If I hadn't had that chat I may not be here writing this now.
> 
> Non of us know what irrational or rational thoughts were in his head leading to him taking his own life but I would never regard it as selfish. Disappearing and totally abandoning your kids is selfish. Ending your own life because you believe the world is a better place without you is extremely sad...but not selfish.


Sorry to hear that mate but I'm glad you're still here to tell the story  but it kinda confirms what I said in an earlier post... Today he wanted to take his own life but next week he might not have wanted to


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Breda said:


> No offence mate but how can it be anything but selfish.
> 
> Nobody knows if he was depressed which I doubt very much as he was on tv yesterday, but even if he was its still a selfish act.
> 
> I've never been in the mind frame where I'd want to end it all but the thought of my kids having to cope with never seeing, speaking or touching me again would stop me


Yea but remember you said you would rather do life in prison for killing someone who abused ur son? Rather than be on the outside with ur son, just saying


----------



## Tasty (Aug 28, 2007)

flinty90 said:


> I like you tasty and im not going to get in a discussion on this thread but that is the dafteset steatement i have heard in a long time mate !!!!


In my experience, it might be different for others, all the lads I know that joined the army signed up while we were at war - knowing they would have to fight. For the majority, it's one of the reasons they signed up. A couple have told me in great detail before they set off that they were looking forward to "gunning down some *********".

If you choose to go to war - with the intention of killing people especially - then I don't think you should be able to get on your high horse about it. I do have respect for how brave they have to be to do their job, I'm not saying that I don't in any way.

I also stand by the fact that soldiers dying at war, which is tragic in itself, has absolutely **** all to do with a man taking his life. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on the forces or soldiers or anything like that, I have friends on tour right now and I would do anything to make sure they come home safe and sound, but they did choose to go.


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

aveit:2644936 said:


> all the press camped outside his house trying to get a story , turning it into a circus !................. how fukcing bad is that.


Yes mate they need to fcuk off and let the man's family grieve in peace


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Breda said:


> Sorry to hear that mate but I'm glad you're still here to tell the story  but it kinda confirms what I said in an earlier post... Today he wanted to take his own life but next week he might not have wanted to


Don't be dude , biggest mistake of my life , I'm soooo glad I'm alive ! And I bet the majority of suiciders would say the same


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Breda said:


> Yes mate they need to fcuk off and let the man's family grieve in peace


You play the fame game u take ur chances


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Tommy10:2644970 said:


> Yea but remember you said you would rather do life in prison for killing someone who abused ur son? Rather than be on the outside with ur son, just saying


Lol I knew you'd pull me up on that, yes I did say it and I stand by that because contact would still be possible... Visits, letters, phone calls etc there's still hope mate but death is final


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Breda said:


> Lol I knew you'd pull me up on that, yes I did say it and I stand by that because contact would still be possible... Visits, letters, phone calls etc there's still hope mate but death is final


Elephants never forget


----------



## martinmerl (Feb 4, 2011)

I hope he didn't hang himself for the same reason young dale roberts did.


----------



## Paul_k2 (Mar 21, 2009)

Tasty said:


> When you're that low, you hate yourself that much, you honestly do believe that the world would be a better place without you. I doubt very much Gary Speed sat and thought "this will wreck my kids and wife but sod it, I need an escape", if he was a proud man and didn't talk to anyone about how he felt there's a chance that nobody told him otherwise. You talk yourself into it more each day, each time something goes wrong, every time you get that bit lower.
> 
> People that haven't experienced depression think you're just the same person, but really sad which isn't the case, it changes the way you think about everything, once it sets in you have no control over it. You can't just switch it off... if he was depressed and it had been eating away at him for that long then I personally feel so awful for him, as I do for anyone in that situation - imagine what was going through his head? What he did was bad for many reasons, the family he'll leave behind etc. but I doubt by the end he felt he had another option.


Not so long ago i was in that dark place, standing on the ledge waiting for the pain inside to stop but it wasn't my time and now i'm on the road to recovery, i feel for anybody being in that situation. Rest in peace Gary, a Welsh Legend.


----------



## Tasty (Aug 28, 2007)

Paul_k2 said:


> Not so long ago i was in that dark place, standing on the ledge waiting for the pain inside to stop but it wasn't my time and now i'm on the road to recovery, i feel for anybody being in that situation. Rest in peace Gary, a Welsh Legend.


Glad to hear you came through it mate, no one can understand it unless they've been there I think. It always suprises me how angry people get about it too, but I suppose unless you know how that feels it does look selfish to the outside world.


----------



## Paul_k2 (Mar 21, 2009)

Being completely honest in the past i always thought of depression as an excuse for the weak to hide behind but now having experienced it myself through different things happening in my life, i take it all back. The thoughts that cross your mind are sick and the feelings inside never go away no matter what you do. I only hope Gary's family understand and can forgive him for whats happened.


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Paul_k2:2645057 said:


> Being completely honest in the past i always thought of depression as an excuse for the weak to hide behind but now having experienced it myself through different things happening in my life, i take it all back. The thoughts that cross your mind are sick and the feelings inside never go away no matter what you do. I only hope Gary's family understand and can forgive him for whats happened.


We don't know if he was depressed yet bro

I'd like to say to all those who've been depressed before that I don't understand where your coming from and my opinion on suicide have nothing to do with depression


----------



## Hendrix (Sep 16, 2009)

Paul_k2 said:


> Being completely honest in the past i always thought of depression as an excuse for the weak to hide behind but now having experienced it myself through different things happening in my life, i take it all back. The thoughts that cross your mind are sick and the feelings inside never go away no matter what you do. I only hope Gary's family understand and can forgive him for whats happened.


Your so right mate, most people think it is all about being low, and is something that can be snapped out of or just come round from. Having experienced it myself, I understand it has very little to do with feeling low. The other effects are terrifying, feeling of impending doom, paranoia, memory loss.

Suicide is strange one, even though It has seems like a comforting thought at times. Poor guy, his head must have been a mess.


----------



## Paul_k2 (Mar 21, 2009)

I understand what your saying pal and repsect that.


----------



## lostwars (Nov 7, 2008)

gutted he was found at 708am this morning, he was working in london at football focus yesterdy did he travel home to chester earlier than expected and find somone in his house who shoudt av been there?

only speculation but athe guy i saw on ffocus yestreday was never gonna be dead with in 15hrs unless he was driven to an advent like the one we all sadly know about now

rip gary


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Breda said:


> We don't know if he was depressed yet bro
> 
> I'd like to say to all those who've been depressed before that I don't understand where your coming from and my opinion on suicide have nothing to do with depression


Happy people don't kill themselves dude, unless there a skeleton ready to come out of his cupboard ... Either way I'm sure it will all come out soon, tbh though who cares ? And I don't mean that in a bad way at all, the blokes dead through his own devices, his choice


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Tommy10:2645116 said:


> Happy people don't kill themselves dude, unless there a skeleton ready to come out of his cupboard ... Either way I'm sure it will all come out soon, tbh though who cares ? And I don't mean that in a bad way at all, the blokes dead through his own devices, his choice


Exactly mate


----------



## BlitzAcez (Mar 6, 2008)

How do we know someone else didn't kill him and make it look like suicide? After all he was on tv the day before!

To members that have no clue about depression, your lucky and won't be able to relate to the state of someone in depression to understand why they would take there life. Almost pointless discussing it as your just gonna **** off people who have had states of depression and there gonna get nowhere making you understand it. Most people aren't jesus and don't have the mental capacity to constantly take pain for others for extended periods of time, some people may have gone through years of mental anguish because they wasn't selfish but just couldn't cope any longer.


----------



## Redbeard85 (Mar 26, 2011)

Paul_k2 said:


> Not so long ago i was in that dark place, standing on the ledge waiting for the pain inside to stop but it wasn't my time and now i'm on the road to recovery, i feel for anybody being in that situation. Rest in peace Gary, a Welsh Legend.


I hear you bro. Been there myself and will carry the scars as a reminder of those days. I'm glad to hear you changed your perseption and your life around. Reps to you mate and once again. Well done.


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

BlitzAcez said:


> How do we know someone else didn't kill him and make it look like suicide? After all he was on tv the day before!
> 
> To members that have no clue about depression, your lucky and won't be able to relate to the state of someone in depression to understand why they would take there life. Almost pointless discussing it as your just gonna **** off people who have had states of depression and there gonna get nowhere making you understand it. Most people aren't jesus and don't have the mental capacity to constantly take pain for others for extended periods of time, some people may have gone through years of mental anguish because they wasn't selfish but just couldn't cope any longer.


Thing is pal on here everyone works out releasing happy hormones ... Depression isn't the norm if u go to the gym , in fact doctors prescribe it as a cure, this thread is about a guy who killed himself , he's made himself a statistic not a hero


----------



## dtlv (Jul 24, 2009)

Tasty said:


> *When you're that low, you hate yourself that much, you honestly do believe that the world would be a better place without you.* I doubt very much Gary Speed sat and thought "this will wreck my kids and wife but sod it, I need an escape", if he was a proud man and didn't talk to anyone about how he felt there's a chance that nobody told him otherwise. You talk yourself into it more each day, each time something goes wrong, every time you get that bit lower.
> 
> People that haven't experienced depression think you're just the same person, but really sad which isn't the case, it changes the way you think about everything, once it sets in you have no control over it. You can't just switch it off... if he was depressed and it had been eating away at him for that long then I personally feel so awful for him, as I do for anyone in that situation - imagine what was going through his head? What he did was bad for many reasons, the family he'll leave behind etc. but I doubt by the end he felt he had another option.


Very good post, and people should take heed of the highlighted bit - self esteem gets so distorted and falls so low when seriously depressed that sucide often seems like the only 'logical' option - nothing in life gives you pleasure, you hate yourself and the world, and you feel responsible for all the misery around you.

You genuienly feel that those you leave behind, even if they grieve short term, will be better off long term without you. You feel the world be a better place with you gone, and on top of it you'd be no longer suffering the constant, crippling identity and self esteem destroying emotional pain yourself.

Suicide often apperars a frighteningly 'logical' answer when suffering major depression long term, and a big part of that 'logic' is to protect others from yourself.

In truth we don't yet know the deatils of what happened to Speedie, but RIP and I hope his family are as ok as they can be.


----------



## Nidge (Jan 22, 2007)

Very sad I enjoyed his style of play. RIP Gary Speed you will be sadly missed.


----------



## Fullhouse (Mar 31, 2010)

flinty90 said:


> ???? i think he hung himself mate !!!! so he knew exactly how long he had left ... but i know what your saying
> 
> What situation do you have to be in to make that sort of decision ??? it baffles me obviously he cant have been bad off financially still popular it seems . what drives a person to that extreme i will never understand !!!


Yes but I don't think that you put date on it ''I'm gonna throw the rope up on the 27th November'' more spare of the moment decision. I know loads of people that have committed suicide and you could be talking to them only hours before.


----------



## Nidge (Jan 22, 2007)

Tommy10 said:


> Happy people don't kill themselves dude, unless there a skeleton ready to come out of his cupboard ... Either way I'm sure it will all come out soon, tbh though who cares ? And I don't mean that in a bad way at all, the blokes dead through his own devices, his choice


I've got a horrible feeling that our gutter press may have something up,their sleeves.

To do it on a Sunday morning is suss.

I really hope I'm wrong.


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Nidge said:


> I've got a horrible feeling that our gutter press may have something up,their sleeves.
> 
> To do it on a Sunday morning is suss.
> 
> I really hope I'm wrong.


This was my worry too mate.


----------



## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

Nidge said:


> I've got a horrible feeling that our gutter press may have something up,their sleeves.
> 
> To do it on a Sunday morning is suss.
> 
> I really hope I'm wrong.


x2 mate..


----------



## Nidge (Jan 22, 2007)

Paul_k2 said:


> Being completely honest in the past i always thought of depression as an excuse for the weak to hide behind but now having experienced it myself through different things happening in my life, i take it all back. The thoughts that cross your mind are sick and the feelings inside never go away no matter what you do. I only hope Gary's family understand and can forgive him for whats happened.


Fckukin hell mate I wish it was an excuse for being weak, maybe if I lose the weakness I can get off these god forsaken tablets I've been taking for the last 10 years.

It's not that easy mate when you've got full blown diagnosed depression.


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Breda said:


> Mars, the joke at the end may have been unnecessary so I apologise but like I said it seems very selfish of him (a healthy, wealthy man) to commit suicide at this time of year. I don't know his circumstances but he had the means to deal with the problem without devastating his whole family.
> 
> And I won't be fcukin off mate I love this place


breda im with mars , my eldest brother hung himself , having all at your disposal or nothing to help means nothing to a person wanting to end their life none of us can understand what goes through their minds .

rip speedy thoughts are with your family .


----------



## Russs (Nov 14, 2011)

Just seen this on my I-Phone!

Big Shocker their


----------



## BlitzAcez (Mar 6, 2008)

Tommy10 said:


> Thing is pal on here everyone works out releasing happy hormones ... Depression isn't the norm if u go to the gym , in fact doctors prescribe it as a cure, this thread is about a guy who killed himself , he's made himself a statistic not a hero


Doesn't seem to have any relevence to what I posted Oo


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

ewen:2645262 said:


> breda im with mars , my eldest brother hung himself , having all at your disposal or nothing to help means nothing to a person wanting to end their life none of us can understand what goes through their minds .
> 
> rip speedy thoughts are with your family .


Sorry to hear about your bro mate... What I said about him waitin till mid may was a bit cnutish I can admit that, but forgetting the motives behind suicide and forgive me for being personal but do you not think your bro was selfish for doin what he did.

Not tryin to offend you in any way ewen and you don't even need to respond


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Breda said:


> Sorry to hear about your bro mate... What I said about him waitin till mid may was a bit cnutish I can admit that, but forgetting the motives behind suicide and forgive me for being personal but do you not think your bro was selfish for doin what he did.
> 
> Not tryin to offend you in any way ewen and you don't even need to respond


my bro killed himself over falling out with my mum years before then when his dad and my mum died of cancer it ate away at him as he outcast himself .

he left behind 2 kids , 2 great kids i may add at that .

im not nit picking at you breda your a decent bloke .

but to answer your question of was he selfish .... no he did what he thought was best and paid the highest price .

we all make mistakes we all live or die by our actions or inactions he did what he thought was right i dont blame him .


----------



## Tasty (Aug 28, 2007)

I liked your post ewen for what you said at the end, obviously not for what happened with your brother, I'm sorry to hear all that.


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Tasty said:


> I liked your post ewen for what you said at the end, obviously not for what happened with your brother, I'm sorry to hear all that.


thanks tasty .

we all go through bad times just a shame some people cant see a way through them .


----------



## Paul_k2 (Mar 21, 2009)

Nidge said:


> Fckukin hell mate I wish it was an excuse for being weak, maybe if I lose the weakness I can get off these god forsaken tablets I've been taking for the last 10 years.
> 
> It's not that easy mate when you've got full blown diagnosed depression.


I know Nidge i've been diagnosed with depression myself and been on citalopram for a while now, it sucks! I was talking past tense in that statement.


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

ewen:2645306 said:


> my bro killed himself over falling out with my mum years before then when his dad and my mum died of cancer it ate away at him as he outcast himself .
> 
> he left behind 2 kids , 2 great kids i may add at that .
> 
> ...


Big respect to you mate, you're a better man than me.

If I was in your shoes I would understand the motives behind the action but I would still blame and resent for it... Maybe I'm just ignorant because it never happend to one of my family members


----------



## dtlv (Jul 24, 2009)

Breda said:


> Big respect to you mate, you're a better man than me.
> 
> If I was in your shoes I would understand the motives behind the action but I would still blame and resent for it... Maybe I'm just ignorant because it never happend to one of my family members


You are a good guy Breda, and in some ways am glad you can't understand fully the imapct of severe depression and suicide as it means you haven't had to face it... and it's not something I'd wish on an enemy, let alone someone I like.

Just try not to judge anyone who does take their own life... even if their logic is severely flawwed to everyone else (and even themselves when in a healthy state of mind), to them it usual feels like genuinely the best thing to do all round.

It is very hard to understand.


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Dtlv74 said:


> You are a good guy Breda, and in some ways am glad you can't understand fully the imapct of severe depression and suicide as it means you haven't had to face it... and it's not something I'd wish on an enemy, let alone someone I like.
> 
> Just try not to judge anyone who does take their own life... even if their logic is severely flawwed to everyone else (and even themselves when in a healthy state of mind), to them it usual feels like genuinely the best thing to do all round.
> 
> It is very hard to understand.


top post .


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

BlitzAcez said:


> Doesn't seem to have any relevence to what I posted Oo


In ur mind maybe


----------



## Impulse2903 (Dec 13, 2010)

I used to be judgemental of people who would take there own life, as aged 14 i spent 4 months in intensive care, and I cherish every day I have on this earth.

However, This all changed 2 years ago, when believe it or not, Raoul Moat was on the run. I'll probably get negged for this, but I genuinely felt sorry for the bloke, before anyone starts commenting on this thread saying that Raoul was this and that, don't, the thread is about An amazing footballer and manager, not Raoul.

The reason I felt sorry for him was when I thought about it, I put myself in his shoes, where he was constantly harassed by the police, and ended up doing what he was doing, It wasn't because of what he done i felt sorry for him, it was imagining how he was feeling being stuck in the middle of the countryside knowing if the police see him, he's probably going to get shot, and from what I can gather, He would have killed himself if he went to prison. It did shock me how desperate that someone can feel in order to do things like what he done.

It was the fact that for somebody to be so terrified, so unhappy in there own life, that there only option is to end it all, which made me realise that its not fair for me to be judgemental of them for doing it, It is there life, and they can make it what they make it. If it gets to the point where there only option is to end it, Then I have no right to be judgemental, as I haven't been in the situation they have been in.

Also as a Newcastle United fan, A photo i found on the internet brought a little tear to my eye, as its of two people who made Newcastle United what they are today, both who are unfortunately not with us anymore.

RIP Speed & Sir Bobby.


----------



## Tasty (Aug 28, 2007)

Impulse, are you from newcastle by any chance :whistling:


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Dtlv74:2645354 said:


> You are a good guy Breda, and in some ways am glad you can't understand fully the imapct of severe depression and suicide as it means you haven't had to face it... and it's not something I'd wish on an enemy, let alone someone I like.
> 
> Just try not to judge anyone who does take their own life... even if their logic is severely flawwed to everyone else (and even themselves when in a healthy state of mind), to them it usual feels like genuinely the best thing to do all round.
> 
> It is very hard to understand.


Det I've had a few close friends of mine commit suicide for various reasons (not depression as far as I know) and I still think they're selfish, I can't change that.... I'm sure I don't know fully what was going on in their head and lives at the time but I think if only... If only... If only

Maybe if it was a family member i'd be more forgiving, I don't know but depression is really something you'd have to experience to understand so wouldn't judge somebody who has suffered from it


----------



## dtlv (Jul 24, 2009)

Breda said:


> Det I've had a few close friends of mine commit suicide for various reasons (not depression as far as I know) and I still think they're selfish, I can't change that.... I'm sure I don't know fully what was going on in their head and lives at the time but I think if only... If only... If only
> 
> Maybe if it was a family member i'd be more forgiving, I don't know but depression is really something you'd have to experience to understand so wouldn't judge somebody who has suffered from it


Don't want to pry (and won't), but suicide for things other than depression or terminal degenerative illness I find hard to understand too. Am sure part of why you feel hard to forgive in those situations is personal to you is because of specifics of the circumstances around those suicides... please don't think I'm judging you for how you feel about those situations, am genuinely not. Also recognise that you are seperating those incidents from 'depressed' sucides in how you view them, so no worries.

Just coming abck to this though, depression is a hard thing to understand even if you do know something about it but not experienced it... previous to my first period of it I'd worked on a boat load of medical studies focused upon depression treatments, studied some psychology, done a counselling course, and considered myself someone quite clued up on the physiology of depression (what happens to neurotransmitters and hormones etc)... then i got depressed myself and realised all that 'knowledge' gave me fcuk all understand of it and didn't help in the slightest.

It truly does change the way you think.


----------



## Impulse2903 (Dec 13, 2010)

Tasty said:


> Impulse, are you from newcastle by any chance :whistling:


Best place in the UK


----------



## BlitzAcez (Mar 6, 2008)

Tommy10 said:


> In ur mind maybe


Please elaborate on your post if it made any sense.


----------



## Slight of hand (Sep 30, 2008)

BlitzAcez said:


> Please elaborate on your post if it made any sense.


This is an emotive thread to many mate, i'm trying hard not to bite with that ****s posts.

Just do the same, he's intent on antagonising, not understanding.


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Slight of hand said:


> This is an emotive thread to many mate, i'm trying hard not to bite with that ****s posts.
> 
> Just do the same, he's intent on antagonising, not understanding.


Which tw*t do you refer too mate ?

If its Tom then your 100 % off the mark, he is certainly not antagonistic and a very very understanding person.

Whilst l understand your emotions re this please dont refer to people you dont know and MY FRIENDS as tw*ts...


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Dtlv74:2645460 said:


> Don't want to pry (and won't), but suicide for things other than depression or terminal degenerative illness I find hard to understand too. Am sure part of why you feel hard to forgive in those situations is personal to you is because of specifics of the circumstances around those suicides... please don't think I'm judging you for how you feel about those situations, am genuinely not. Also recognise that you are seperating those incidents from 'depressed' sucides in how you view them, so no worries.
> 
> Just coming abck to this though, depression is a hard thing to understand even if you do know something about it but not experienced it... previous to my first period of it I'd worked on a boat load of medical studies focused upon depression treatments, studied some psychology, done a counselling course, and considered myself someone quite clued up on the physiology of depression (what happens to neurotransmitters and hormones etc)... then i got depressed myself and realised all that 'knowledge' gave me fcuk all understand of it and didn't help in the slightest.
> 
> It truly does change the way you think.


The suicides that I've had the displeasure to have been "involved" (cant think of a better word) with have all centered around drugs and money so I associate it with fear and selfishness.

I hear what you're saying tho mate, if you've studied but the knowledge can not be applied in the circumstances then depression is really something that has to be experienced to understand.... I don't understand it and I hope I never do and I mean that in the nicest way possible


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Slight of [URL=hand:2645504]hand:2645504[/URL] said:


> This is an emotive thread to many mate, i'm trying hard not to bite with that ****s posts.
> 
> Just do the same, he's intent on antagonising, not understanding.


You got Tommy all wrong pal he's one of the least antagonising and more understanding members


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

BlitzAcez said:


> Please elaborate on your post if it made any sense.


If u scroll back , I tried to commit suicide , people with depression would get the train why, on here u won't find many people with it , depression and the gym don't go hand in hand , you will never get people to understand or empathise what depression is until they experience it


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Tommy10 said:


> If u scroll back , I tried to commit suicide , people with depression would get the train why, on here u won't find many people with it , depression and the gym don't go hand in hand , you will never get people to understand or empathise what depression is until they experience it


well put and shows you really are a genuine fella .


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Slight of hand said:


> This is an emotive thread to many mate, i'm trying hard not to bite with that ****s posts.
> 
> Just do the same, he's intent on antagonising, not understanding.


Dude u need to swallow the pill ur trying to prescribe ,faced with debate u turn to ignorance and resort to name calling ... Go to the mirror and take a good look at urself... Depressed now ?


----------



## BlitzAcez (Mar 6, 2008)

Tommy10 said:


> If u scroll back , I tried to commit suicide , people with depression would get the train why, on here u won't find many people with it , depression and the gym don't go hand in hand , you will never get people to understand or empathise what depression is until they experience it


So you was agreeing with my original point about people not understanding suicide that haven't had depression and giving further evidence for it then stated the obvious about this thread being about about suicide.

Not sure why you mensioned to me that he isn't a hero. So like I originally said I didn't see much relevence in the post.

Tried hard to understand it, not to matter


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

BlitzAcez said:


> So you was agreeing with my original point about people not understanding suicide that haven't had depression and giving further evidence for it then stated the obvious about this thread being about about suicide.
> 
> Not sure why you mensioned to me that he isn't a hero. So like I originally said I didn't see much relevence in the post.
> 
> Tried hard to understand it, not to matter


I know dude it doesn't matter , the hero comment being , so many people on here arguing about someone they don't even know , similair to the Amy Winehouse thread a while back , caused a million arguments , for what ? At the end of the day this will matter zilch in the morning to everyone except his family and friends ( including a friend of mine who dated him )


----------



## cris-01 (Nov 18, 2010)

Hurrendous news. Guess you never know what is going through someones head.


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Tommy10:2645617 said:


> I know dude it doesn't matter , the hero comment being , so many people on here arguing about someone they don't even know , similair to the Amy Winehouse thread a while back , caused a million arguments , for what ? At the end of the day this will matter zilch in the morning to everyone except his family and friends ( including a friend of mine who dated him )


Was this friend of yours s fella


----------



## Diegouru (Oct 31, 2010)

Absolutely not fair...

R.I.P


----------



## keano (Feb 9, 2006)

A loss to the sport, what a shame.

RIP


----------



## ms4 (Jun 20, 2008)

I hadn't seen him on tv for ages and I rarely watch football focus, but caught him on it yesterday! Shocking. RIP.


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Breda said:


> Was this friend of yours s fella


Yes


----------



## Tasty (Aug 28, 2007)

Tommy10 said:


> Yes


Do you know this to be true, 100% fact? Not doubting you for a second, just asking whether someone just told you this or whether you knew it was for real. It's quite an accusation to make about a guy who was married with two kids...


----------



## essexboy (Sep 7, 2008)

Ive let this thread develop, to see how the impact of Afghans "Joke" finally settled.Now,Afghan was criticised for posting a text "joke" a few hours after Gary Speeds death was announced.Without Criticising Afghan per se, I find most of these "celebrity death" jokes pretty distasteful.However,we are subjected to "jokes" about child molestation,physical disabilties,etc, its no real suprise that rich , sportsmen are considered fair game.

Secondly how soon is it ok to make jokes. It would appear that was the basis for the Criticism heaped upon Afghan?

Is there a specific time lapse deemed neccessary, when it becomes acceptable?


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Tasty said:


> Do you know this to be true, 100% fact? Not doubting you for a second, just asking whether someone just told you this or whether you knew it was for real. It's quite an accusation to make about a guy who was married with two kids...


 fuk off .. When u play on my world , come back to me


----------



## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

Tommy10 said:


> fuk off .. When u play on my world , come back to me


Bit harsh mate, Tasty was only asking a legitimate question!


----------



## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

Tommy10 said:


> fuk off .. When u play on my world , come back to me


I don't get what was wrong with what he said...


----------



## Moonbeam (Jul 20, 2011)

Does anyone reckon his death could be for a reason? You know besides the obv, depression etc. You think maybe he done something which we dont know about? People commit suicide for many reasons and it's not always to do with depression.


----------



## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

mikeyc_nhfh said:


> Does anyone reckon his death could be for a reason? You know besides the obv, depression etc. You think maybe he done something which we dont know about? People commit suicide for many reasons and it's not always to do with depression.


Yeah its been mentioned mate.


----------



## Moonbeam (Jul 20, 2011)

okay cool. Couldnt be bothered to look through the whole thread in case of haters but sad day for welsh football yet again


----------



## Uk_mb (Feb 18, 2011)

I was only watching football focus yestrday. Sad sad news.

R.I.P.


----------



## Tasty (Aug 28, 2007)

Tommy10 said:


> fuk off .. When u play on my world , come back to me


I don't see what was wrong with what I said, either way you need to get off your high horse princess and stop talking to people like ****. The man had a wife and two kids, I was asking whether you knew it was true before telling the world that the guy was having gay affairs behind his families back. Your world? Grow up.


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Tasty said:


> I don't see what was wrong with what I said, either way you need to get off your high horse princess and stop talking to people like ****. The man had a wife and two kids, I was asking whether you knew it was true before telling the world that the guy was having gay affairs behind his families back. Your world? Grow up.


Yea ur right , thing is I knew him


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Tasty said:


> I don't see what was wrong with what I said, either way you need to get off your high horse princess and stop talking to people like ****. The man had a wife and two kids, I was asking whether you knew it was true before telling the world that the guy was having gay affairs behind his families back. Your world? Grow up.


And ... Where did I say gay affairs exactly ??


----------



## britbull (Mar 18, 2004)

Sad day for mankind when we fail to show compassion for another human passing!

Sadder yet people failing to understanding this simple concept, the man was still warm when the comments started


----------



## Tasty (Aug 28, 2007)

Tommy10 said:


> And ... Where did I say gay affairs exactly ??


You said that a guy you knew had dated him, did you not? Gary Speed was married and I guess has been for some time as he has kids etc. so would that not constitute a gay affair? Maybe I got all this wrong, all I did was ask whether what you said was legit or not though and you want off on one. Whatever mate I don't want to argue, not in a thread about a guy passing away.


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

Tasty said:


> You said that a guy you knew had dated him, did you not? Gary Speed was married and I guess has been for some time as he has kids etc. so would that not constitute a gay affair? Maybe I got all this wrong, all I did was ask whether what you said was legit or not though and you want off on one. Whatever mate I don't want to argue, not in a thread about a guy passing away.


I said a friend , and yea let's not


----------



## lucs (Apr 8, 2011)

Very sad for his family and friends, what ever his reason was, i would hope if its going to have a bad effect on his family it stays hidden so the press don't get to jump all over it and make a very bad time for them far worse for them.

Served football well throughout his carrier so will be a loss to the game. In all honestly i have no personal feeling on the subject its sad when people die and leave people behind if they be famous or not.


----------



## britbull (Mar 18, 2004)

Reads like Tommy likes attention! If you have some THE SCOOP Tommy take it to the gutter press where it belongs,speculation has no place here (I'm sure you are bright enough to understand this basic sentiment)


----------



## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

britbull said:


> Reads like Tommy likes attention! If you have some THE SCOOP Tommy take it to the gutter press where it belongs,speculation has no place here (I'm sure you are bright enough to understand this basic sentiment)


I'm done with this thread  watch and see


----------



## Tasty (Aug 28, 2007)

Whatever has happened I hope the wolves in the media find the decency to leave it now and not put his family through any more pain. I'm also done with this thread, thoughts to his family, I can't imagine how they feel today.


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

britbull:2646287 said:


> Reads like Tommy likes attention! If you have some THE SCOOP Tommy take it to the gutter press where it belongs,speculation has no place here (I'm sure you are bright enough to understand this basic sentiment)


No mate T10 wouldn't spread bs about the board if he says his pal and speedie meet up or what ever then I believe him, he has no reason to lie


----------



## Nidge (Jan 22, 2007)

Where's that Snake Bellamy disappeared to?


----------



## Nidge (Jan 22, 2007)

This is what depression is really like, written by Stan Collymore Stan Collymore (@StanCollymore)

Posted Saturday 26th November 2011 from Twitlonger.

http://www.twitlonger.com/show/ecoqm1

It's 4:48am in the morning(Sat 26th Nov 2011),and i'm wide awake.

I decided to tweet my own personal experience of my latest bout of Depression yesterday,and firstly wanted to thank the hundreds of messages from friends,journalists,mental health workers,doctors,and sufferers,as well as well wishers.It's very humbling to read the stories of fellow sufferers,links to blogs,and general experiences of this awful illness.

I want to elaborate on what Depression is for me,as the illness has so many facets,and varies from bout to bout ,that it can be hard to explain to a fellow sufferer,never mind someone fortunate enough to have never been afflicted!

I've spent so much time with Depression sufferers who have anxiety,irrational fear,too much sleep,not enough,that it's hard to pinpoint one "thing" that Depression is or isn't.All i know is that depending on the severity of the bout,it can be made of mainly one or all of these things,so i'll explain this latest bout,and what it's effect is.

I keep myself in really good nick,i run 10k every week day,and only not go to the gym or exercise at weekends,when i commentate on football for talkSPORT.The running i find really has helped massively,as i'm sure you guys that suffer who exercise find,the tangible release of calm,and "being on top of things" powers your internal dynamo,and keeps the black dog from the door.

Around 10 days ago however,i started to feel anxiety,which grew into irrational fear,which in turn turned into insomnia for 3 days(little sleep,and an incredibly active,negative mind),that in turn over last weekend(Swansea v Man United) into Hypersomnia,whereby my energy levels dipped to zero,and my sleep went from 8 to 18 hours overnight.

So i went from last Saturday at the gym,running 10k as i normally do,looking forward to working,to Tuesday morning being unable to lift my head from the pillow, feeling like my body had been drained of any life,my brain "full" and foggy,and a body that felt like it was carrying an anvil around.

So fit and healthy one day,mind,body and soul withering and dying the next.This to me is the most frightening of experiences,and one fellow suffers i'm sure will agree is the "thud" that sets the Depression rolling.

Once it hits,then cause and effect start to kick in.I sleep 18 hours a day,so i don't see sunlight over sometime a period of a week(my worst ever bout,i spent a month in bed),which i'm sure a doctor then would tell me makes the body shut down even further.My personal world grows smaller,i detach from friends and family,partly out of self preservation,partly not wanting them to see the man bounding around days ago,now looks visibly older,weaker and pathetic.

I eat less,my personal space gets smaller,none of the vain grooming of days before,as bathing,washing,and even going to the loo seem almost impossible.So its me,pyjamas,bed and increasingly despairing thoughts of how long this one will last,a tired,desperately tired but wildly active mind burns through its own blue touch paper until the paper ends,and there is simply nothing left.

That's the point when the practicality sets in,and not a nice one(and incredible to think when you finally get well).

Suicidal thoughts.

Thankfully i've not got to that part yet,and in my last 10 years only once or twice has this practical reality entered my head,and practicality its is,unpalatable the thought may be to many.

Why a practicality? Well,if your mind is empty,your brain ceases to function,your body is pinned to the bed,the future is a dark room,with no light,and this is your reality,it takes a massive leap of faith to know that this time next week,life could be running again,smiling,my world big and my brain back as it should be.So what do some do? They don't take the leap of faith,they address a practical problem with a practical solution to them,and that is taking their own life.And sadly,too many take that route out of this hell.

I'm typing and my brain is full,cloudy and detached but i know i need to elaborate on what i'm going through because there are so many going through this that need to know it's an illness,just an illness.Not bad,mad,crazy or weak,just ill,and that with this particular illness,for its sufferers,for family and friends who are there but feel they can't help,you can!

Patience,time,kindness and support.That's all we need.No "pull your socks up",no "get out of bed you lazy git",just acknowledge the feedback the sufferer gives,get them to go to the GP asap,and help them do the little things bit by bit.

That may seem simple but in my experience,and currently as we speak,having a bath,walking for 5 minutes in the fresh air,making a meal,all things that days before were the norm,seem alien,so friends and family can help ,just by being non judgemental,and helping in the background to get the sufferer literally back on their feet.

I hope that if you are suffering,or know someone that does,that a little insight into someone elses experiences might resonate with one or two and give them the comfort of knowing that there are millions out there like us that deal with this reality in our lives.

We contribute like everyone else,so treat us like everyone else.

You are not alone,there are millions of us.

http://www.mind.org.uk

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/mentalhealth/Pages/Helplines.aspx

http://www.depressionalliance.org

http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/emotional_health/mental_health/

http://www.sane.org.uk/


----------



## JG123 (Nov 2, 2008)

I was shocked when i heard about it, you know whats annoyed me most about the situation, how david cameron had the time to tweet about gary speeds loss which is fair enough but what about a comment about the british soldier who died on the same day also?!

Im not disrespecting because whats happened is awful, he must of been going through some ****. Sympathy goes out to his family and friends x


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

British soldiers are becoming the new Godwins law on here


----------



## TerryT (Jul 20, 2010)

and quickly googles 'Godwins law'


----------



## JG123 (Nov 2, 2008)

Ashcrapper said:


> British soldiers are becoming the new Godwins law on here


My post wasnt comparing gary to british soldiers...


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Jaime G said:


> My post wasnt exactly comparing gary to british soldiers, i was mainly stating what an absolute imbocile of a man we have who runs this country  .


I don't understand the need for people to constantly bring them into threads such as this one whipping up people into a frenzy of outrage over our soldiers out there blah blah. Getting as bad as Facebook for it. Apparently you can't say Merry Christmas now because it offends people, probably them pesky Muslims again


----------



## JG123 (Nov 2, 2008)

I understand your opinion just something that i came across yesterday what ****ed me off. Lets just leave it at that, dont want to take the topic off track


----------



## Hayesy (Aug 15, 2011)

Shocking news, he seemed fine talkin on tv the day before, and then killed himself.

Very Sad


----------



## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Ashcrapper said:


> I don't understand the need for people to constantly bring them into threads such as this one whipping up people into a frenzy of outrage over our soldiers out there blah blah. Getting as bad as Facebook for it. Apparently you can't say Merry Christmas now because it offends people, probably them pesky Muslims again


MERRY FCUKIN CHRISTMAS YOU PESKY MUSLIMS


----------



## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

MOTD 2 last night was a really sad programme.

i never supported any club that he played for, infact leeds and newcastle are not popular clubs where i come from (boro) but you will not find a single boro fan who has anything bad to say about the man.

its a strange, sad world sometimes


----------



## Ironclad (Jun 23, 2009)

Somebody on the news last night said sports folk have a terrible time when they reach a certain age, because all they know is gone. The phone stops ringing, no work, all that. But Speed had a career, his ambition was to take Wales to the WC. Wales are a nation on the rise.

WTF happened to the man on a mission?


----------



## Wheyman (Sep 6, 2011)

Its a terrible loss and a terrible way to go. I hope his family stay together


----------



## Ironball (Sep 22, 2004)

Nobody knows yet exactly what has happened or why yet.

Its a terrible thing if he has committed suicide, very sad.

I will say this though that unless you are in that situation you will never know what you might do. Anguish, depression and fear do strange things to the mind. Let me put it a way that some may find easier to understand as we are on a bodybuilding/training forum:

"There is only so much weight you can put on the bar"


----------



## bmc (Aug 2, 2007)

I don't know how old his kids are if they're young or not but if he did this because of a story that was about to come out in the news papers I have no sympathy for him it's his kids I feel sorry for as they're the ones who'll now grow up without a dad

But if it was to do with depression I can understand as I suffer myself from depression but I've never had suicidal thoughts but I do know how low and alone you can feel as people can't see anything wrong with you they think your fine.....like give yourself a shake there's nothing wrong with you,and for a guy to seek help for depression I have the up most respect for as it's not easy as you always think I'll be fine soon but it never happens


----------



## evad (Mar 17, 2008)

the worst thing is now the speculation has started as to why he has done it, something has obviously hapenned between football focus and sunday morning


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/15927661.stm


----------

