# FFS I CANT POOP



## MissBC

ok not the nicest of subjects to bring up but needs must.

So i started my prep 4 weeks ago and i could probably count on my fingers how many times i have pooped in that time...

Today stands at 3 days no poops WTF

I feel uncomfortable and heavy and its not nice.

Suggestions please

DB seems to think bum sex will help it but as i explained to him he would be like a trash compacter and just push it up there more = NO 

I really need to sort this out as its not normal or natural

Diet is carb cycling

4 days low (25g)

2 days med (60g)

1 day high with cheat

food is basically

shake/oats

shake/nuts

chicken/greenbeans/cabbage

chicken/greenbeans/cabbage

post wo shake

chicken/greenbeans/cabbage


----------



## 1Tonne

Prune Juice on your hi carb day?

Nutrition Facts

Amount Per 1 cup

Calories 181.76

Calories from Fat 0.691

% Daily Value *

Total Fat 0.0768g 0%

Saturated Fat 0.00768g 0%

Polyunsaturated Fat 0.0179g

Monounsaturated Fat 0.0538g

Cholesterol 0mg 0%

Sodium 10.24mg 0%

Potassium 706.56mg 20%

Total Carbohydrate 44.67g 15%

Dietary Fiber 2.56g 10%

Protein 1.56g 3%

Alcohol 0g

Vitamin A	0 % Vitamin C	17 %

Calcium	3 % Iron	17 %

Vitamin D	0 % Vitamin E	0 %

Thiamin	2 % Riboflavin	9 %

Niacin	10 % Folate	0 %

Vitamin B-6	28 % Vitamin B-12	0 %

Phosphorus	6 % Magnesium	9 %

Zinc	4 % Copper	9 %

*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs.


----------



## Geo

Cranbury Juice is a winner if i need a good cleaning out.


----------



## JBWILSON

some psyllium husk in your shakes will help a lot. it fills you out and is zero carb so i guess it'd be fine for use in a prep diet.

if you need a dump right now though i find a handful of dried appricots will clear the pipes in around an hour - but its not pretty.


----------



## hsmann87

JBWILSON said:


> some psyllium husk in your shakes will help a lot. it fills you out and is zero carb so i guess it'd be fine for use in a prep diet.
> 
> if you need a dump right now though i find a handful of dried appricots will clear the pipes in around an hour - but its not pretty.


 x2

also drink a sh1t load of water. I have noticed that the days that I eat lots of broccoli and down at least 8 litres of water a day, my morning after poop just flows like a river:thumb:


----------



## MissBC

see i find the morning after my high carb day/cheat day i can poop, usually once and then thats it other than prob one rabbit like poop mid week just cause i try to get something out  but its really not fun barely pooping more than once or twice all week

sniff sniff


----------



## SiPhil

Enema works every time for me when I have constipation. Might take a few squirt and blasts, but it gets there in the end.

Make an apple sauce for your high carb day, stuff it in pancakes and enjoy. Lots of fiber.


----------



## ryoken

i have recently gone through simalar situation but on keto not contest prep,

tried fybogel but didnt seem to do much and was pretty grose tbh, have changed to species nutrition fyberlyze wich i got from bodybuilding warehouse!

It has worked a treat using the recomended 2 servings a day but because your on prep you would have to add the macros in

heres the run down

cals 45 per serving

fat 0

sodium 8mg

potassium 80mg

total carbs 9.5g

carbs from fibre -- 8grms soluble , 1 grms insoluble

not sure if its going to fit into a prep but would defo try and get a fibre supp in somewhere, i spent 4 weeks in the same boat and its horrible


----------



## hsmann87

MissBC said:


> *see i find the morning after my high carb day/cheat day i can poop, usually once and then thats it other than prob one rabbit like poop mid week* just cause i try to get something out  but its really not fun barely pooping more than once or twice all week
> 
> sniff sniff


 maybe its just because you arent eating as much on non-carb days so there is less to exit (as there is less entering)??

P.S. im loving this thread. MILES better than the standard "how much can you lift" or the standard "my journal" threads :lol:


----------



## a.notherguy

good hot chillis always make me [email protected] like an elephant the day after


----------



## MissBC

God said:


> Well if fibre is the issue I got some great stuff from Boots that you mix into water and is completely tasteless. Can't remember the name but in green packaging and costs 8.99. Does the job for me while on keto with a pretty small amount of veg.


hmmmmmmmmm may have a look later in boots or H&B

thanks


----------



## MissBC

supplement wise only taking

BCAA

Vit D

Creatine

Glutamine

at the mo

Got some Vitamin C and taurine on its way as we ran out


----------



## MissBC

Geo said:


> Cranbury Juice is a winner if i need a good cleaning out.


not really gonna work on my prep diet though


----------



## 1Tonne

You can get non invasive bowel massages that help people when suffering from constipation.

I would prob just go for a finger in the bum. Stimulation is the way forward.


----------



## JBWILSON

MissBC said:


> hmmmmmmmmm may have a look later in boots or H&B
> 
> thanks


i think thats the psyllium husk i mentioned earlier, its in boots and h&b, ive just checked on the label of my tub and its...

prot 0%

carbs 0%

fat 0%

fibre 98%

and 2% of something else i guess.


----------



## gerg

eat a big bowl of All Bran, just be careful it's pretty potent, i wouldn't eat it every day. a big bowl has about 50g of fibre

i didn't **** for almost a week after a combination of codeine and only eating eggs.


----------



## JBWILSON

God said:


> Really is great stuff. You can completely dissolve around 10g of fibre in a glass of water and is tasteless. To get the same amount of fibre from psyllium husks, you would have to have a pretty nasty shake!
> 
> Found it online - http://www.boots.com/en/Benefiber-Powder-245g_46642/


I think i might look at that myself then cos tbh psyllium husk tastes like pond water at best. thanks. :thumbup1:


----------



## MissBC

God said:


> Really is great stuff. You can completely dissolve around 10g of fibre in a glass of water and is tasteless. To get the same amount of fibre from psyllium husks, you would have to have a pretty nasty shake!
> 
> Found it online - http://www.boots.com/en/Benefiber-Powder-245g_46642/


awesome thanks, il get some after cardio today


----------



## SK-XO

Take some buscopan.


----------



## aka

for me, coffee in an empty stomach


----------



## the_gre8t_1ne

I think barry mite be rite...... :whistling:

(i accept cash and check baz:thumb:

If that doesnt work then green tea is good, eating prunes seems to help


----------



## Seyyed-Merat

well coffee and eggs usually do it for me :lol:

jokes a side tho, that powdered fibre stuff that looks like sugar should do the trick, somone mentioned it already I think. Just neck it down with some water or add to your shake.


----------



## MissBC

the_gre8t_1ne said:


> I think barry mite be rite...... :whistling:
> 
> (i accept cash and check baz:thumb:
> 
> If that doesnt work then green tea is good, eating prunes seems to help


dont you start ash...... i will be having none of that even if he pays you so its a loose loose situation for him :laugh: its in his best interests to get me 'regular' again then he can do what he wants


----------



## SK-XO

Buscopan, trust me. In hospital I get it sometimes because my bowel inflames due to colitis which caused nothn to come out before, for DAYS. My stomach was pregnant looking so they gave me buscopan and boom was on the toilet for about half an hour literally 10 mins later, EVERYTHING came out. Stomach unswelled. Simples?


----------



## Kermitt32

Flaxseed Caps work for me, with figs and prunes!

be carfull though, you`ll be bunged and taking everything to work it out, just when think its not working.... BAMMMM, the flood gates will open.

Good luck in quest for a poop


----------



## Tinytom

All good suggestions above but I really do think that having your back doors caved in will help.


----------



## MissBC

Tinytom said:


> All good suggestions above but I really do think that having your back doors caved in will help.


i reckon that to much of said 'caving' was prob part of the problem :cursing:


----------



## DB

MissBC said:


> dont you start ash...... i will be having none of that even if he pays you so its a loose loose situation for him :laugh: its in his best interests to get me 'regular' again then he can do what he wants


loose loose?? or lose lose mwahaha!

Don't worry i've offered some bumming to help it move but she refuses it! Need to get her regular again 

Although I have had sympathy sh1ts for the last 2 days which were horrific! lol:lol: :lol:


----------



## PHMG

I was under the impression that girls don't ever poo. At least i hope this is true. The thought of a woman curling one out is not nice. Shouldn't be legal!


----------



## MissBC

DB said:


> loose loose?? or lose lose mwahaha!
> 
> Don't worry i've offered some bumming to help it move but she refuses it! Need to get her regular again
> 
> Although I have had sympathy sh1ts for the last 2 days which were horrific! lol:lol: :lol:


well for you over the past few days loose loose and if i get loose loose then buming can resume, till then you get NOTHING :laugh:

and good riddance on your sh1ts, you make fun of me not pooping so thats karma for you


----------



## MissBC

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> I was under the impression that girls don't ever poo. At least i hope this is true. The thought of a woman curling one out is not nice. Shouldn't be legal!


i used to spin that line to DB... then we moved in together and that fantasy was over mwahahahahahaha


----------



## PHMG

MissBC said:


> i used to spin that line to DB... then we moved in together and that fantasy was over mwahahahahahaha


haha, i've been with my mrs for 4 years and i have never heard or smelt a fart. Never even been in the toilet after her and smelt anything. So thats why i thought it was true.

The other week i asked her about it. She says she waits till im not about!!!

WAITS!!!!!!!! how the f.uck does she do that. I get that full feeling and i have about 2 mins to get too the toilet!!

The fact she has kept it so secret makes me really want to catch her. I bet it STINKS!!!

Can't be worse than my ex though. She was a VEGGIE!!!! :cursing: :cursing: :cursing:


----------



## Lou

MissBC said:


> ok not the nicest of subjects to bring up but needs must.
> 
> So i started my prep 4 weeks ago and i could probably count on my fingers how many times i have pooped in that time...
> 
> Today stands at 3 days no poops WTF
> 
> I feel uncomfortable and heavy and its not nice.
> 
> Suggestions please
> 
> DB seems to think bum sex will help it but as i explained to him he would be like a trash compacter and just push it up there more = NO
> 
> I really need to sort this out as its not normal or natural
> 
> Diet is carb cycling
> 
> 4 days low (25g) here is your problem - try a digestive aid such as bromelaine and psylium husks OR swith to a three day cycle high medium low. Its not quite so harsh AND drink loads more water
> 
> 2 days med (60g)
> 
> 1 day high with cheat
> 
> food is basically
> 
> shake/oats
> 
> shake/nuts
> 
> chicken/greenbeans/cabbage
> 
> chicken/greenbeans/cabbage
> 
> post wo shake
> 
> chicken/greenbeans/cabbage


----------



## ultralife

If its possible, try and import a 6 lev spaghetti bolognaise and some water from bulgaria, it had me spending more time in the hotel bathroom than out in the bars. side effects may include wasting money on a holiday.


----------



## Guest

vitenamese coffee very strong- goes through me like a porche


----------



## jw007

A big fat line of coke will usuaully do the trick 

Great for your diet too 

Win Win


----------



## Tinytom

jw007 said:


> A big fat line of coke will usuaully do the trick
> 
> Great for your diet too
> 
> Win Win


Hasnt Baz already offered that?

ooooooooh COKE. sorry misread :lol:


----------



## rs007

Tinytom said:


> All good suggestions above but I really do think that having your back doors caved in will help.


I agree with Tom

I mean, its prob building up like a big boil, just needs a wee pilot hole to get it started then BOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM

:lol:

On a serious note, hope you get it sorted


----------



## RACK

Benefibre works a treat on me


----------



## Andy Dee

PowerHouseMcGru said:


> I was under the impression that girls don't ever poo


Neither was I, I was always under the impression thats the reason i always catch sh1t on the end of it.


----------



## Incredible Bulk

MissBC said:


> food is basically
> 
> shake/oats
> 
> shake/nuts
> 
> chicken/greenbeans/cabbage
> 
> chicken/greenbeans/cabbage
> 
> post wo shake
> 
> chicken/greenbeans/cabbage


i found i was crapping EOD and like a rabbit (poo pebbles lol).

Its the diet... now levels of fats will do that.

Everything dries up and a high protein level makes it firmer i found

If you really wanted to go you could buy a length of hose from B&Q, a funnel, a 2 litre water bottle and a broad minded DB :lol:


----------



## stephy

Are things like senekot etc out of the question?


----------



## Uriel

I noticed no one has said "Pictures or it didn;t happen":laugh:

We seem happy to believe that your crimper is welded shut tighter than a Jews wallet.

I can only suggest you man the fuk up - rattle out 50 abdo crunches, hold the last one, grit your teeth, throw your legs behind your head and blast those pellets out like a gatlin gun


----------



## S.hen

Whist on the pot.Put your upper body as close as you can to your knees and try not to concentrate to much, and don't thrutch. Be patient and it will come


----------



## Uriel

S.hen said:


> Whist on the pot.Put your upper body as close as you can to your knees and try not to concentrate to much, and don't *thrutch*. Be patient and it will come


 :confused1:

Never ever do this:confused1:


----------



## UnitedFan

S.hen types with a dutch accent.

In these far east countries they squat completely to sh1t, apparently..

On embarrassing bodies it said that that is a far more natural position to pop out a poo. You can try and stand on your tippytoes or lean forward like that illiterate guy said (  )

It opens you up more!


----------



## MissBC

jw007 said:


> A big fat line of coke will usuaully do the trick
> 
> Great for your diet too
> 
> Win Win





Tinytom said:


> Hasnt Baz already offered that?
> 
> ooooooooh COKE. sorry misread :lol:


big things arent really associated with baz in all departments tom you should know that?


----------



## MissBC

Uriel said:


> I noticed no one has said "Pictures or it didn;t happen":laugh:
> 
> We seem happy to believe that your crimper is welded shut tighter than a Jews wallet.
> 
> I can only suggest you man the fuk up - rattle out 50 abdo crunches, hold the last one, grit your teeth, throw your legs behind your head and blast those pellets out like a gatlin gun


:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

LMAO


----------



## Heineken

Get some Regucol.

I felt backed up for months, when I started using this stuff... you wouldn't believe what some of my poo's looked like. Tropical shelfish, coral.. all sorts :lol:

http://www.hollandandbarrett.com/pages/product_detail.asp?pid=477


----------



## Big Kris

jw007 said:


> A big fat line of coke will usuaully do the trick
> 
> Great for your diet too
> 
> Win Win


Im gona have to second you on this one

One big fat SIZE 9 and it goes through me like a steam train!


----------



## MissBC

Uriel said:


> :confused1:
> 
> Never ever do this:confused1:


what the hell is THRUTCH???


----------



## Galtonator

10G of creatine mono hydrate woudl clear you out. I think it just that your using all the cals so you have less waste


----------



## MissBC

I have just been down into town and been to boots, superdrug and another chemist and none have benefibre sooooooo

had to resort to the health shop and they recommended Lepicol which is made up of psyllium husks, probiotic bacteria and the food needed for that bacteria, no cals or anything so no biggie with fitting into prep etc and she also recommended that buscopan so i brought that too... first dose in so WATCH THIS SPACE


----------



## Cra16

magnesium oxide will do the trick.


----------



## UnitedFan

MissBC said:


> what the hell is THRUTCH???


I thought he meant Thrush to start with, but it didn't fit in with the sentence.

He means thrust. Don't try and push the poo out


----------



## bigbear21

having just suffered from this dont leave it too long movill is a good laxative dont use pixalax as it can damage the bowel linning senokot on a evening is a good idea too


----------



## bigbear21

you could try mercury that stuff goes through you like nothing on earth might poison ya though lol


----------



## MissBC

bigbear21 said:


> having just suffered from this dont leave it too long movill is a good laxative dont use pixalax as it can damage the bowel linning senokot on a evening is a good idea too


dont wanna use laxatives would rather just try get it moving than giving myself the ****s using laxatives


----------



## Incredible Bulk

MissBC said:


> first dose in so WATCH THIS SPACE


rather not if your going to film or post pics! :lol:


----------



## bigbear21

MissBC said:


> dont wanna use laxatives would rather just try get it moving than giving myself the ****s using laxatives


understand but be careful i ended up in hospital for 5 days and thats the last thing you need


----------



## S.hen

\ said:


> :confused1:
> 
> Never ever do this:confused1:


Why never do this??? I have Been on a keto diet for 4 weeks and had trouble logging. Works every time for me.


----------



## Uriel

S.hen said:


> Why never do this??? I have Been on a keto diet for 4 weeks and had trouble logging. Works every time for me.


Thrutching?


----------



## Hobbio

If all else fails eating a whole pack of Rennies will get you pooping again.


----------



## S.hen

\ said:


> I thought he meant Thrush to start with, but it didn't fit in with the sentence.
> 
> He means thrust. Don't try and push the poo out


Google it! Top of the page!


----------



## Hunter84

Figs are good for bowel movements 

Or you could try adding a few chilli's to your chicken+greens......

:whistling: mg: :surrender: :bounce: :thumb:


----------



## MissBC

callingcard said:


> Figs are good for bowel movements
> 
> Or you could try adding a few chilli's to your chicken+greens......
> 
> :whistling: mg: :surrender: :bounce: :thumb:


i like chilli but if im cooking for DB hes a big pansy and doesnt like spicy food.

I have some chilli flakes i could add if thats gonna do the same?


----------



## Hunter84

MissBC said:


> i like chilli but if im cooking for DB hes a big pansy and doesnt like spicy food.
> 
> I have some chilli flakes i could add if thats gonna do the same?


Yes chilli flakes would be fine, and be very generous with them too!!! :devil2:


----------



## Greyphantom

Fully agree with the comment re senokot... used this on my daughter when she had problems and as long as you get there early its a nice gentle solution...


----------



## MissBC

still nothing yet  up the dose maybe lol


----------



## blackbeard

psyllium husks may help


----------



## ares1

psyllium husks works everytime for me, its not instant though... But give it a few hours then admire your porcelain wonder log.


----------



## dixie normus

High dose of magnesium citrate and/or sodium bicarbonate. Alkaclear is also good.


----------



## Captain Hero

MissBC said:


> ok not the nicest of subjects to bring up but needs must.
> 
> So i started my prep 4 weeks ago and i could probably count on my fingers how many times i have pooped in that time...
> 
> Today stands at 3 days no poops WTF
> 
> I feel uncomfortable and heavy and its not nice.
> 
> Suggestions please
> 
> DB seems to think bum sex will help it but as i explained to him he would be like a trash compacter and just push it up there more = NO
> 
> I really need to sort this out as its not normal or natural
> 
> Diet is carb cycling
> 
> 4 days low (25g)
> 
> 2 days med (60g)
> 
> 1 day high with cheat
> 
> food is basically
> 
> shake/oats
> 
> shake/nuts
> 
> chicken/greenbeans/cabbage
> 
> chicken/greenbeans/cabbage
> 
> post wo shake
> 
> chicken/greenbeans/cabbage


PSYILLIUM HUSK. This has helped me no end

http://www.naturallygreen.co.uk/psyllium-husk-powder-1kg-p-350.html

Hope it helps you!


----------



## MissBC

right well some 'minimal success' earlier but im just giving it time now.... seems to be working lol


----------



## thetong6969

seem to spend all week creating little maltesers here lol so body must be absorbing more or don't wanna part with it lol


----------



## spudsy

Fybogel from the chemist will get you moving or good old fashioned bran... or failing that go to my mum in laws for tea... her food has me on the sh1tter for days:thumb:


----------



## MissBC

well so far so good, things are 'freeing up' so will continue on and see how i go....

cheat meal tonight so im sure tomorro morning will bring good things


----------



## Irish Beast

MissBC said:


> well so far so good, things are 'freeing up' so will continue on and see how i go....
> 
> cheat meal tonight so im sure tomorro morning will bring good things


Has DB got a big smile on his face or did you opt for a medical method!


----------



## MissBC

Irish Beast said:


> Has DB got a big smile on his face or did you opt for a medical method!


nope he aint been allowed in there yet....... not till its back to normal, im trying to get it out so cant have him compacting it back in there again


----------



## Irish Beast

MissBC said:


> nope he aint been allowed in there yet....... not till its back to normal, im trying to get it out so cant have him compacting it back in there again


Its not fair to punish him for your excretory inadequacies!


----------



## MissBC

Irish Beast said:


> Its not fair to punish him for your excretory inadequacies!


well he has to wait......


----------



## nutnut

I thought it was quite normal when dieting (esp keto, low carbs) to not sh1t? it got annoying cos I like a good poo!


----------



## DB

Irish Beast said:


> Its not fair to punish him for your excretory inadequacies!


Tell me about it!! :thumb:


----------



## Uriel

Irish Beast said:


> Its not fair to punish him for your excretory inadequacies!


she's right though, it would be like loading a cannon:lol: ramrodding down all the "powder" and a big cannon ball:lol: :lol:

(and when I say "Ramrod" - I mean tiny lolly stick dimensioned ramrod DB)


----------



## MissBC

Uriel said:


> (and when I say "Ramrod" - I mean tiny lolly stick dimensioned ramrod DB)


tell me about it


----------



## Hobbio

MissBC said:


> tell me about it


Zing!

:lol:


----------



## DB

Uriel said:


> she's right though, it would be like loading a cannon:lol: ramrodding down all the "powder" and a big cannon ball:lol: :lol:
> 
> (and when I say "Ramrod" - I mean tiny lolly stick dimensioned ramrod DB)





MissBC said:


> tell me about it


cnuts  :lol:


----------



## Nidge

chilisi said:


> Fibre Gel...?


Aye that stuff will unblock a Rhino.


----------



## zelobinksy

Fibre supplement should help.

psyllium husks half price at Holland barrets (£5.12 for 120 i think) or fibre force.


----------



## Khaos1436114653

Forget fibre, use a finger coated in castor oil.....it works (so i'm told) :whistling: :whistling:


----------



## Tinytom

I think a good ass caving plus some deep throat action will create internal pressure and force an unblockage at some end.

MAX force must be used though so buy a gum shield before attempting.


----------

