# Got away with an affair?



## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Just wondering, has anyone here had an affair (not one night stand) and actually got away with it and carried on living happily ever after with their partner?

Or do these things have a way of always getting busted out into the open?

I did once, many moons ago when was young and dumb. It lasted for 6 months, neither of us told a soul so thought chances were that no-one would ever find out. The girl moved 200 miles away about half a year after it ended, so thought that was definitely done and dusted then. What I wasn't banking on though was her having a crisis of concious 2 years down the line, spilling all to her fella and him tracking my then mrs down via social networking to give her the goss and split us up 

Anyone here managed to dodge karma?


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## Fishheadsoup (Apr 15, 2013)

Wouldn't even attempt it to be honest. It's a devastating thing to do, especially to the other half. IMO if you're wanting to stray away, you're not happy and should leave who you're with.


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Fishheadsoup said:


> Wouldn't even attempt it to be honest. It's a devastating thing to do, especially to the other half. IMO if your wanting to stray away, your not happy and should leave who your with.


Totally mate, agree 100% in retrospect.


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## Boshlop (Apr 1, 2012)

never had an affair, but did end up going on with 2 lass' at the same time, both ended up wanting something serious, quite serious (i attract the commitment ones :/) not sure if that counts as they both started at the same time, neither found out and i choose one over the other after a few month playing on


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## Guest (Mar 29, 2014)

Archaic said:


> Just wondering, has anyone here had an affair (not one night stand) and actually got away with it and carried on living happily ever after with their partner?
> 
> Or do these things have a way of always getting busted out into the open?
> 
> ...


Everyone makes mistakes, the important thing is you learn from them.

However having an affair or cheating on a partner inflicts more mental and emotional damage than ending a relationship. Clinically it's the worst act of betrayal you could ever inflict on another and has long lasting effects.


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## sauceman (Jan 22, 2014)

You're a c#nt if you do so, plain and simple.


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## Dan TT (May 9, 2012)

Rather end it then dip it in otherwise it just fcuks with your head


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## Guest (Mar 29, 2014)

jbsauce said:


> You're a c#nt if you do so, plain and simple.


Your quite right it's totally wrong to do this and anything else society considers reprehensible but...........what if I were to suggest to you that "given the right circumstances" anyone is capable of any despicable act against another?


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## graham58 (Apr 7, 2013)

now i,m older and wiser NO,when i was younger i,d climb a mountain if it meant getting my leg over,now i could,nt be bothered to cross the road.


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## DanishM (Dec 15, 2013)

The closest thing I've come to that was using my leftie.

I'd never cheat on someone I love. Then I'd rather break up with her, if I had such thoughts.


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## Theorist (Jun 18, 2013)

Wouldn't do it, seen what it did to my mum 2 times, if i wasnt happy just ****ing end it


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Guess Josh Heslop and myself are the only two reformed ba$tards on the board...


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## Brook877 (May 16, 2012)

I had an affair many years ago,

It wasn't me that was in a relationship, I was the "other guy" but I knew/was friends her partner,

It went on for a short while but it came to a holt when the guilt and sneaking about combined with the realisation we where never going to able to turn a fling into a worthy relationship.

Like @Archaic tail it all came out later down the line,

During a drunken night she shared our secret with her friends, once she started sharing she carried on and told her boyfriend shortly after,

Sh#t meet fan..

I lost a lot of friends in the aftermath, actually ended up moving with this being a notable factor in that choice her and her boyfriend worked it out and are still together, in short its a whole load of pain for everyone involved.

But you can't always help who you fall for.


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## SJL1990 (Mar 3, 2014)

Archaic said:


> Just wondering, has anyone here had an affair (not one night stand) and actually got away with it and carried on living happily ever after with their partner?
> 
> Or do these things have a way of always getting busted out into the open?
> 
> ...


This thread is a live hand grenade hahaha


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## SJL1990 (Mar 3, 2014)

To contribute to this though... An ex cheated on me with her boss for months, I never found out, although I ended dumping her for other reasons. She told me on Facebook about 3 months ago. Did. Not. Bat. An. Eyelid.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Doubt anyone would admit to it really .....I considered it a couple of yr ago I was single he was married we got on well, he would appear in the caf after the gym sit next to me, I'd be on a night out he would be there too, then spotting for me in the gym ....nothing happened but it quite easily could have as time goes on and u get along with each other i can see how it could develop and course it crosses ur mind. In this case if I'm honest I didn't think about the mrs ( oops sorry) and I wasn't thinking about what's morally right I was thinking why would I want to go here it would be hassle I could meet someone without all the baggage who's also single..and it became about what I wanted not him..that was it didn't happen...he left the gym tho and I lost my spotter booooooo.


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## SJL1990 (Mar 3, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> Doubt anyone would admit to it really .....I considered it a couple of yr ago I was single he was married we got on well, he would appear in the caf after the gym sit next to me, I'd be on a night out he would be there too, then spotting for me in the gym ....nothing happened but it quite easily could have as time goes on and u get along with each other i can see how it could develop and course it crosses ur mind. In this case if I'm honest I didn't think about the mrs ( oops sorry) and I wasn't thinking about what's morally right I was thinking why would I want to go here it would be hassle I could meet someone without all the baggage who's also single..and it became about what I wanted not him..that was it didn't happen...he left the gym tho and I lost my spotter booooooo.


Don't worry babes. The Mrs is still with me... So if you fancy a spotter again? Holla


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Brook877 said:


> I had an affair many years ago,
> 
> It wasn't me that was in a relationship, I was the "other guy" but I knew/was friends her partner,
> 
> ...


Cheers for sharing mate, sounds like you came of worst there, even though technically was not cheating on anyone... What a cow.


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Skye666 said:


> Doubt anyone would admit to it really .....I considered it a couple of yr ago I was single he was married we got on well, he would appear in the caf after the gym sit next to me, I'd be on a night out he would be there too, then spotting for me in the gym ....nothing happened but it quite easily could have as time goes on and u get along with each other i can see how it could develop and course it crosses ur mind. In this case if I'm honest I didn't think about the mrs ( oops sorry) and I wasn't thinking about what's morally right I was thinking why would I want to go here it would be hassle I could meet someone without all the baggage who's also single..and it became about what I wanted not him..that was it didn't happen...he left the gym tho and I lost my spotter booooooo.


I bet the bloke has no idea how lucky he is to have dodged that bullet haha :whistling:


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

SJL1990 said:


> Don't worry babes. The Mrs is still with me... So if you fancy a spotter again? Holla


Holllllaringggggggg :tongue:


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Archaic said:


> I bet the bloke has no idea how lucky he is to have dodged that bullet haha :whistling:


Shut it! That's plain rude


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Skye666 said:


> Shut it! That's plain rude


Only joking x

Maybe...


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Nope, never had one, never will do.


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## cplmadison (Nov 26, 2013)

karma always catches up with you


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## Mingster (Mar 25, 2011)

Skye, I've no idea why you seem to scare the life out of so many people on here? You seem a fine catch to me A woman fit to walk the hills with as they say in my primitive backwater lol...


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Archaic said:


> Only joking x
> 
> Maybe...


Don't be giving me the kiss after the hurt... Anyway he didn't dodge the bullet I withdrew my aim :nono:


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Mingster said:


> Skye, I've no idea why you seem to scare the life out of so many people on here? You seem a fine catch to me A woman fit to walk the hills with as they say in my primitive backwater lol...


Lol...fit to walk the flippin hills...wot the hell!!!!! In primitive terms is this a good thing?? Haha

I just think they are pussies on here mingster couldn't handle a woman ( erm who can walk the hills !!)


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## Mingster (Mar 25, 2011)

Skye666 said:


> Lol...fit to walk the flippin hills...wot the hell!!!!! In primitive terms is this a good thing?? Haha
> 
> I just think they are pussies on here mingster couldn't handle a woman ( erm who can walk the hills !!)


Yes, it is a good thing lol. Next best thing to a woman to stand alongside in the shield wall


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## hometrainer (Apr 9, 2003)

once you cross that line there is no going back and anyone should way up very carefully the true cost as these thing have a nasty habit of coming out ,the other party might go tell your current partner it can leave peoples live in tatters you might not get to see your kids if you have any for a while .then there is maybe having to cope with divorce loosing your home having to pay maintenance for years etc.

having said that i did meet MRS HT this way and we have been together for a while now but I had been in her sights for a ling time and had previously turned her down twice.but that's a story for another day .

if you can handle the fall out if it all goes wrong then good on you.but think carefully as you can't take it back


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## SJL1990 (Mar 3, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> Holllllaringggggggg :tongue:


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Cheated on my ex mrs a few times with one of my female friends. I don't speak to the friend anymore and me and the ex have long stopped talking so I think I can say I got away with it.

I couldn't cheat on my mrs I'm with now. Had a few offers but have no thought of taking it up.


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## Brook877 (May 16, 2012)

Archaic said:


> Cheers for sharing mate, sounds like you came of worst there, even though technically was not cheating on anyone... What a cow.


I guess I did,

But I knew what I was getting into so it's my own fault,

She should of been out of bounds and I still did what I did.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

SJL1990 said:


>


Backatcha


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

hometrainer said:


> once you cross that line there is no going back and anyone should way up very carefully the true cost as these thing have a nasty habit of coming out ,the other party might go tell your current partner it can leave peoples live in tatters you might not get to see your kids if you have any for a while .then there is maybe having to cope with divorce loosing your home having to pay maintenance for years etc.
> 
> having said that i did meet MRS HT this way and we have been together for a while now but I had been in her sights for a ling time and had previously turned her down twice.but that's a story for another day .
> 
> if you can handle the fall out if it all goes wrong then good on you.but think carefully as you can't take it back


Oi...u can't dangle a damn carrot then say ' for another day' grrrrrr I hate that...tell ....were u married?


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> Cheated on my ex mrs a few times with one of my female friends. I don't speak to the friend anymore and me and the ex have long stopped talking so I think I can say I got away with it.
> 
> I couldn't cheat on my mrs I'm with now. Had a few offers but have no thought of taking it up.


Harrison!!! A few times???? I'm right off u now :nono:


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Mingster said:


> Yes, it is a good thing lol. Next best thing to a woman to stand alongside in the shield wall


Is this a chat up ...do u want to walk beside me lol


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## Mingster (Mar 25, 2011)

Skye666 said:


> Is this a chat up ...do u want to walk beside me lol


I'm not in a position to walk beside you without getting involved in the theme of this thread lol, but I am trying to encourage others to man up and stop hiding behind their mothers pinnies...


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Mingster said:


> I'm not in a position to walk beside you without getting involved in the theme of this thread lol, but I am trying to encourage others to man up and stop hiding behind their mothers pinnies...


It sounded first of all to me that you wanted to do her from behind when she was walking up a hill, and then that you wanted to do her up against that wall instead? I may be wrong though...


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## Mingster (Mar 25, 2011)

Archaic said:


> It sounded first of all to me that you wanted to do her from behind when she was walking up a hill, and then that you wanted to do her up against that wall instead? I may be wrong though...


You must be used to that then...


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Harrison!!! A few times???? I'm right off u now :nono:


Lol i have grown up since then. I hated my ex. Tried to dump her a few times but kept me there with the whole ill kill myself stuff. She was abit of a mental case anyway so i belived her. I say a few times i think it was twice when i was with my ex. At the time i saw it as my way of i dunno getting my own back on her making me so miserable.

Anyway i left her and grew up. The topic is have u ever got away with an affair, if it was are u proud of having an affair then my reply would be different.

Hope u like me again now you no why lol


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Mingster said:


> I'm not in a position to walk beside you without getting involved in the theme of this thread lol, but I am trying to encourage others to man up and stop hiding behind their mothers pinnies...


Lol...oh yes I see what I did there...

Well there's a couple of men on here but more of skinny jean wearers I'd say....oh I'm sure they lift and snort plenty of whey..but this does not make them men...sighhhh such a task for us single ladies these days ..~ cry


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> Lol i have grown up since then. I hated my ex. Tried to dump her a few times but kept me there with the whole ill kill myself stuff. She was abit of a mental case anyway so i belived her. I say a few times i think it was twice when i was with my ex. At the time i saw it as my way of i dunno getting my own back on her making me so miserable.
> 
> Anyway i left her and grew up. The topic is have u ever got away with an affair, if it was are u proud of having an affair then my reply would be different.
> 
> Hope u like me again now you no why lol


Hmmm ok but like is strong word ...growing up has a lot to answer for eh lol


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## hollisbball (Mar 1, 2014)

Well I'm 23 and never been in a serious relationship so a no from me, how people can get shacked up at my age I'll never know. Having said that I'd never cheat in a million years, seen the damage it does to more than one family and the fallout from it is horrendous especially when kids are involved. If someone cheated on me that'd be the end of the relationship right there and then, everyone makes mistakes but cheating isn't a mistake as it's a conscious decision made when you weigh up the pro's and cons of if you'll get away it.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Hmmm ok but like is strong word ...growing up has a lot to answer for eh lol


Lol yeah .

I keep tellin my mrs im to bone idle for an affair. I aint shaving and making myself look attractive to others when i cba anyway. Also why would anyone want to sit around worrying the phone might call or have a text, or as mentioned the other person getting the guilties further down the line.

Wheres the fun in that?


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> Lol yeah .
> 
> I keep tellin my mrs im to bone idle for an affair. I aint shaving and making myself look attractive to others when i cba anyway. Also why would anyone want to sit around worrying the phone might call or have a text, or as mentioned the other person getting the guilties further down the line.
> 
> Wheres the fun in that?


Wow u really have grown up lol

Yep it's true but when that pretty attractive big breasted sultry looking woman is just there ...and ur thinking of that moment and not the txt, the calls, the hassle.....it's easily done, men go by the vision I think women on the hand end up heading off into an affair because of our hormones,.we can't help it.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

bigasskiwi said:


> Somanabolic Muscle Maximizer
> 
> Best Meal planner 2012 and 2013 with HUGE reputation just youtube it im amazed
> 
> ...


Huh???

Did meal planner ever have an affair with reputation that's more important...pffffftttt.


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

If ur in different counties its not an affair just a tourist attraction


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Wow u really have grown up lol
> 
> Yep it's true but when that pretty attractive big breasted sultry looking woman is just there ...and ur thinking of that moment and not the txt, the calls, the hassle.....it's easily done, men go by the vision I think women on the hand end up heading off into an affair because of our hormones,.we can't help it.


Them bloody hormones lol.

Bein a delivery driver I go into all houses and meet loads of nice women but I wouldn't take the chance just for one quickie. Then I ask meself well how many others has she cracked her legs open for?

A few friends of mine have offered and yeah when the flirting starts its an easy temptation but then you turn off facebook and have a think about it and I say to myself nahhhh cba with that business.

My mrs knows tho that if nada G from bitchin kitchen offers then ill be all over her


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

Archaic said:


> Just wondering, has anyone here had an affair (not one night stand) and actually got away with it and carried on living happily ever after with their partner?
> 
> Or do these things have a way of always getting busted out into the open?
> 
> ...


As this is in gen con and not MA.. no, iv never done anything like that and gotten away with it. The mrs knows everything iv done.


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## Lokken (Mar 15, 2014)

What's the point in being in a relationship if you're just going to cheat? Defeat's the whole purpose, just end it. Jeez. Treating your partner as a mere safety net / nest maker / bread winner is a pathetic thing to do.

Also you can't dodge karma, that's the whole point in it.


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

Lokken said:


> What's the point in being in a relationship if you're just going to cheat? Defeat's the whole purpose, just end it. Jeez. Treating your partner as a mere safety net / nest maker / bread winner is a pathetic thing to do.
> 
> Also you can't dodge karma, that's the whole point in it.


You think women are sluts for reading 50 shades of grey lol, I dread to think what you'd think if one had wild naughty sex with a taken guy, you'd prob have her burnt at the stake!! :lol:


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## Lokken (Mar 15, 2014)

Archaic said:


> You think women are sluts for reading 50 shades of grey lol, I dread to think what you'd think if one had wild naughty sex with a taken guy, you'd prob have her burnt at the stake!! :lol:


As I've said, it works both ways. Men can be sluts too. It's not specific to one gender, unless you're sexist.


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## hometrainer (Apr 9, 2003)

Skye666 said:


> Oi...u can't dangle a damn carrot then say ' for another day' grrrrrr I hate that...tell ....were u married?


I wasn't when we met unfortunately she was.

However having an Affair was what got me divorced in the first place I was something of a man whore back then..


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## hometrainer (Apr 9, 2003)

Lokken said:


> What's the point in being in a relationship if you're just going to cheat? Defeat's the whole purpose, just end it. Jeez. Treating your partner as a mere safety net / nest maker / bread winner is a pathetic thing to do.
> 
> Also you can't dodge karma, that's the whole point in it.


Relationships don't always end in happily ever after I never set out to cheat or meet anyone else else it just happened that way.I met someone who was also married and it changed my life forever ,its never black and white there's 50 shades of grey in the middle ...........no pun intended

l


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)




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## Dando1974 (Apr 4, 2012)

x2 @hometrainer


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## johnnya (Mar 28, 2013)

Archaic said:


> Just wondering, has anyone here had an affair (not one night stand) and actually got away with it and carried on living happily ever after with their partner?
> 
> Or do these things have a way of always getting busted out into the open?
> 
> ...


No I respect myself and my wife to much to live a lie but each to their own


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## Lokken (Mar 15, 2014)

hometrainer said:


> Relationships don't always end in happily ever after I never set out to cheat or meet anyone else else it just happened that way.I met someone who was also married and it changed my life forever ,its never black and white there's 50 shades of grey in the middle ...........no pun intended
> 
> l


Fair enough. Everyone drums to their own beat I guess.

I suppose the best thing anyone can do for themselves is try to live up to their aspirations and values.


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## SJL1990 (Mar 3, 2014)

No harm in looking at the menu if you already know what you want to eat :wink:


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## Silvaback (Jul 31, 2013)

Nope and if you have, are doing, you're a cnut!


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## J_boyd85 (Jun 28, 2013)

I have done when I was younger but felt crap afterwards! Also had it done to me and know it is not nice so would not entertain the idea... jjst be single if you want to smash eveeything in sight lol


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## SJL1990 (Mar 3, 2014)

Silvaback said:


> Nope and if you have, are doing, you're a cnut!


What?


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

I think some people fail to understand that not every single situation can be defined as simple black or white. Allot goes on behind closed doors that not even the people closest to you outside home are aware of.

When emotions come into play and feelings develop for another person beyond your control then it no longer is about sex. An emotional affair usually happens because you start to fall in love with the other person, and I believe it is possible to be in love with two people at the same time, whether that is socially acceptable or not.

But, Inevitably crunch time will come sooner or later, a decision has to be made, or made for you, and at least one person is going to get hurt badly.

Regardless, the choices we make in life are derived from the search for personal happiness and I don't think making a mistake along the way in that quest necessarily makes someone a 'cnut'...


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## Silvaback (Jul 31, 2013)

SJL1990 said:


> What?


If you're having an affair or you've "gotten away" with having one you're a Cnut. It's that simple. End it with your partner or keep your pecker in your pants.


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## Cam93 (May 20, 2010)

never understood why you'd have a affair, if you loved somone you wouldnt need too nor be able to. otherwise, why be in a relationship if your not willing to be faithful?


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## SJL1990 (Mar 3, 2014)

Silvaback said:


> If you're having an affair or you've "gotten away" with having one you're a Cnut. It's that simple. End it with your partner or keep your pecker in your pants.


If you are implying I have done so, then you are a Cnut


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## jamiew691 (Mar 23, 2014)

Couldn't live with the guilt, she probably wouldn't deserve the pain! If you want to have an affair then you probably aren't committed to your wife/husband. One of my very strange mates girlfriends had an idea that he was cheating on her so she said 'can I see her?' and they ended up having a 3some! :lol:


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## Silvaback (Jul 31, 2013)

SJL1990 said:


> If you are implying I have done so, then you are a Cnut


It's was a generalised post mate, no need to be so defensive..


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> Them bloody hormones lol.
> 
> Bein a delivery driver I go into all houses and meet loads of nice women but I wouldn't take the chance just for one quickie. Then I ask meself well how many others has she cracked her legs open for?
> 
> ...


Wise man....well I say man but if ur one of them 'skinny jean' wearers man might be up for debate :lol:


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

hometrainer said:


> I wasn't when we met unfortunately she was.
> 
> However having an Affair was what got me divorced in the first place I was something of a man whore back then..


Oh I see... Having the affair prob didn't get u divorced I'm sure when ppl reach the affair point it's just the straw that can break the camels back.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Silvaback said:


> It's was a generalised post mate, no need to be so defensive..


Oh he's a knob don't worry ....call it him again just for fun :bounce:


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## Keenam (Jan 24, 2010)

My better half knows well that my view is that men who do this clearly have to much time and on their hands. I don't between Mrs, kids, the gym in a morning, commuting, work and eating I have no time and energy for another woman! Besides the one I have knows many fun ways to work off any excess energy that we have!


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## Silvaback (Jul 31, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Oh he's a knob don't worry ....call it him again just for fun :bounce:


I kinda figured that out, maybe he has a guilty conscience


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Silvaback said:


> I kinda figured that out, maybe he has a guilty conscience


Lol...nah I'm joking...he's ok actually don't pick on him or il beat u up


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## Major Eyeswater (Nov 2, 2013)

I had an affair in my first marriage. It wasn't something that I got away with, because she found out and it effectively ended it - but the marriage had been pretty much dead in the water for a few years, and if I'm honest with myself, I was looking for an escape route.

Couldn't do it now. Apart from the fact that I would be causing untold hurt to the two people in the world that I would literally die to protect, the fact that I now have the sort of marriage & settled home-life that I'd have to be clinically insane to throw away - I couldn't cope with all the aggro.

Hiding texts, sneaking around, trying to remember the detail of the lies I've told - not to mention the difficulty that a non-drinker with no friends of my own and a job that is 100% office based would have coming up with cover stories. I had enough trouble coming up with a cover story when I went to pick up her Xmas present.


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## Guest (Mar 30, 2014)

Meanwhile.....Asda 4 tins tuna for £3. Bargain.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> Wise man....well I say man but if ur one of them 'skinny jean' wearers man might be up for debate :lol:


Boot cut jeans to go over the boots I wear. Ill wear them for our date shall I?


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> Boot cut jeans to go over the boots I wear. Ill wear them for our date shall I?


If u think a few words on a forum is getting u a date.....nope! It requires at least a few training sessions in the gym a few nandos and at least an hour under the 'police' radar...usual 100 questions....so I doubt I'm anything to look forward to lol...


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

I have to say iv been quite impressed with some of these answers... :thumb:


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## Guest (Mar 31, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> If u think a few words on a forum is getting u a date.....nope! It requires at least a few training sessions in the gym a few nandos and at least an hour under the 'police' radar...usual 100 questions....so I doubt I'm anything to look forward to lol...


I'd date him just becasue he's got a nice name.  and he's getting huge, but where that's the question!


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## Lokken (Mar 15, 2014)

Skye666 said:


> I have to say iv been quite impressed with some of these answers... :thumb:


What prize you gonna give the best one :laugh:


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## bigchickenlover (Jul 16, 2013)

I don't get it how can you get away with an affair? Its not getting away with it is it really? Its just a matter of time before the truth gets out and the nearest get hurt.

Just leave the person your with and have the fun you want don't drag someone under your pretentious relationship ideas.

It will never end well unless your an **** and don't care..


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## hometrainer (Apr 9, 2003)

Skye666 said:


> Oh I see... Having the affair prob didn't get u divorced I'm sure when ppl reach the affair point it's just the straw that can break the camels back.


Cheating to my way of thinking is like a one night thing.having an affair means you have that bit more going on I had quite a long affair with Mrs HT before we took the plunge.

I did meet some one 1-years ago and thats what caused my marriage to break up when it all came out.


----------



## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

I've never had an affair in the terms of being in a relationship and starting another one while being with someone.

I have however had it done to me (and i've mentioned it on here a few times)

People are selfish and it's very hard to think of others when you want something.

My ex started seeing someone else behind my back that she worked with, by my reckoning it went on for roughly six months.

2 years later.... and it still affects me now in a lot of ways that i wont go into full details about.

Bottom line it will drastically affect the other person even if you try to justify that it wont.

Not worth it, would have far rather she say to me i have feelings for someone else and split up with me.


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## get2big (Mar 9, 2013)

I've cheated a few times before on a girl who I knew was doing it to me, she never found out. Was pretty pointless to be honest just tit for tat Jeremy kyle type stuff. Never really loved that one anyway was just about the sex. I was her affair for a while then she left her husband for me. He found out about it as well.

Thing was I was never able to trust her since I knew she what she was capable of from the start.

Having an affair is a really ****ty thing to do, we are capable of controlling ourselves and our temptations, its normal to be tempted no matter how great your partner is.


----------



## Lokken (Mar 15, 2014)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> I've never had an affair in the terms of being in a relationship and starting another one while being with someone.
> 
> I have however had it done to me (and i've mentioned it on here a few times)
> 
> ...


How awful. Especially for the one who thought they were genuinely in love. It must have felt like you'd just had a piece of your soul torn out, when you found out.

A scar that seems like it will never heal.

And agree completely that they should just be straight about it and tell, otherwise their just sticking the knife in. Like she clearly did.

This is what I don't get about the people on here saying things like I cheated and found the love of my life and we lived happily ever after [and to hell with any hearts I broke]. Yeah nice one 

And I just hope that anyone that does run off with someone supposedly taken get's their come upons. If they get can cheat on their ex with you, they can cheat on you with a hundred other people.

I would be devastated, though I am always mindful about how much time and energy, but especially how emotionally invested I am in something. Do you feel like you're too hurt to ever trust again?


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

Lokken said:


> How awful. Especially for the one who thought they were genuinely in love. It must have felt like you'd just had a piece of your soul torn out, when you found out.
> 
> A scar that seems like it will never heal.
> 
> ...


Cheers bud - yeah it was awful and it's taking a long time to move past.

Honestly - Yes, it took a long time for me to find myself again which in turn meant i couldnt trust anyone. What i mean by that is the only version of me that existed was as part of a relationship, when that fell apart i didnt know who i was.

Untill i found myself and learned to like myself again, how could anyone else right?

I'm in a much better place now, and i have my own life again but it's still always at the back of mind that people can very easily, be dishonest.


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## Danny2795 (Jan 4, 2012)

Find it amazing how people who start a relationship through an affair can say there 100% trust there partner?

I've always lived by the rule once a cheat always a cheat.

Be good to hear from your guys that have done this and hear your views on trust?


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## Brook877 (May 16, 2012)

Danny2795 said:


> Find it amazing how people who start a relationship through an affair can say there 100% trust there partner?
> 
> I've always lived by the rule once a cheat always a cheat.
> 
> Be good to hear from your guys that have done this and hear your views on trust?


I wouldn't assume someone is always going to be a cheat, I've genuinely fell for someone I really shouldn't have so I know these things happen.

It doesn't mean the girl I fell for will always be a cheat and it doesn't mean I will always be someone's bit on the side.

Trust is earned in my book, not given based solely on someone's previous actions or reputation.


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Brook877 said:


> I wouldn't assume someone is always going to be a cheat, I've genuinely fell for someone I really shouldn't have so I know these things happen.
> 
> It doesn't mean the girl I fell for will always be a cheat and it doesn't mean I will always be someone's bit on the side.
> 
> Trust is earned in my book, not given based solely on someone's previous actions or reputation.


X2 on this my parents knew each other from birth

They got together at 16 (nan was very strict) unfortunately my dad played away at the age of 21

The age of 25 he came back to her.

He's now 73 never cheated or played away again


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Danny2795 said:


> Find it amazing how people who start a relationship through an affair can say there 100% trust there partner?
> 
> I've always lived by the rule once a cheat always a cheat.
> 
> Be good to hear from your guys that have done this and hear your views on trust?


Bit like getting bit by a dog. As much as you love the pet. You know the fkcer might do it again


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

DanishM said:


> The closest thing I've come to that was using my leftie.
> 
> I'd never cheat on someone I love. Then I'd rather break up with her, if I had such thoughts.


You would rather destroy a loving relationship than satisfy a little natural urge?

How odd.

It frustrates me how short sighted society is when it comes to love, sex and relationships. It might sadden some of you to hear, but just because your partner loves you, doesnt stop them from wanting and fantasising about your friend, your brother, a guy on tv, her workmates. People have this obsured naivity that love is some kind of attraction barrier, guess what girls.. your bf's still look at other women and want to fck them, and guys your gf's still see a guy now and again and think about cradling their nutsack.

Now, is it disrespectful to have these natural thoughts and feelings? Of course it isnt. What I find disrespectful is the limitations and boundaries we set for our partners.. ie they cant touch, sleep with or even text or talk to another man/woman, even though it may make them happy and more satisfied with life.

Monogomy is NOT a measure of love nor respect. So those that say "i dont want to see anyone else because I love my woman" you are talking bollox. What you mean to say is "i wouldnt mind the chance to have a bit of physical and sexual freedom but society has been taught by the church and the institution of marriage that monogomy is the way of god, and this has somehow remained as a standard despite educational and social advances, and this has allowed if not fuelled JEALOUSY to creep in which is the biggest and most important factor, its jealousy that causes the hurt, the anger, the paranoia. Rid your relationship of jealousy and you will all be so much ****ing happier and content.

Now, deciet, lies and going behind your partners back to have affairs, have sex etc is not at all healthy.. but if the points i have made above^ are addressed and even just UNDERSTOOD then there would be no need for lies and deciet.

You hear all time, everyday, a couple splitting up, getting divorced, even lifelong family units being ripped apart because one of them slept with somebody else.. is it just me that finds that absolutely insane???? That you would end a happy and loving relationship just because of your jealousy towards your partner having sex or texting another person for a bit?

Madness


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## DanishM (Dec 15, 2013)

I'm not reading all that.


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Agree with tekkers .

Sex is pleasure and should be explored and enjoyed with anyone .

Love is totally different , I love my wife and we have sex with others and I gotta be honest things are awesome between us even though I did have a dirty secret in that I did have feelings for another female , my wife knows all my secrets and we are stronger than ever , I do sometimes think the grass is greener although I know it's not .

It's taken a long time to get to where we are , wife likes that I talk to females it's primal instinct for humans to be attracted and wife likes knowing im desired by some it's a turn on for her .


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

ewen said:


> Agree with tekkers .
> 
> Sex is pleasure and should be explored and enjoyed with anyone .
> 
> ...


Pretty much the situation im trapped in.


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## benki11 (Sep 17, 2010)

Yes


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

andysutils said:


> Pretty much the situation im trapped in.


choose wisely .

maybe i was blinded by the thought of another persons mrs and couldnt see what i have already however it wasnt a sexual `affair` it was deeper than that .


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

DanishM said:


> I'm not reading all that.


Shame mate, you might have learned something.


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## Brook877 (May 16, 2012)

ewen said:


> choose wisely .
> 
> maybe i was blinded by the thought of another persons mrs and couldnt see what i have already however it wasnt a sexual `affair` it was deeper than that .


I think the "deeper than that" part is what a lot of these "I would never cheat, if you do your a c unit" people are overlooking, not every affair is a seedy, sexually driven mess,

Sometimes these things creep up on you, and genuine feeling grow before your really aware of what's happening.

An affair (not a one night stand) is often much more than a sexual thing.


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## SK50 (Apr 7, 2013)

I am not religious, nor do I believe that I stand on a moral high ground. But, I believe that an affair is the ultimate breach of trust. I could not live in secrecy having done such a thing.

In a good relationship, there should be very little chance of this occurring. I say "very little" rather than "no" because as humans we all screw up sometimes.


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Brook877 said:


> I think the "deeper than that" part is what a lot of these "I would never cheat, if you do your a c unit" people are overlooking, not every affair is a seedy, sexually driven mess,
> 
> Sometimes these things creep up on you, and genuine feeling grow before your really aware of what's happening.
> 
> An affair (not a one night stand) is often much more than a sexual thing.


very true , and its a deep bond i share with her that will never be broken or atleast it wont on my part .

cant always help who you have feelings for .


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## SJL1990 (Mar 3, 2014)

DanishM said:


> I'm not reading all that.


Hahaha


----------



## Brook877 (May 16, 2012)

ewen said:


> very true , and its a deep bond i share with her that will never be broken or atleast it wont on my part .
> 
> *cant always help who you have feelings for *.


Couldn't agree more :thumbup1:


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

I f.ucked up about 3 years ago. Made a mistake one night when drunk and told the wife the very next day as i felt she could do far better. I could easily have got away with it but felt she deserved much more.

Fortunately after the initial cooldown and me taking a good beating from her and her mum, she said she still wanted me (fuc.k knows why). i said i wanted to take her on a date and start again. Nowadays we are better than ever and im not a c.unt anymore.

Used to go out and try and pull with the intention of dropping it as soon as i know i could have them. So sort of ego boosting thing/low self esteem. Dont even do none of that sh.it anymore. Ashamed of it tbh but it has happened and have had to prove myself a lot since then, which i think i have...and mother in law said the other day im still her favourite so must be doing something right :lol:


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## Ben_Dover (Apr 12, 2012)

mrssalvatore said:


> X2 on this my parents knew each other from birth
> 
> They got together at 16 (nan was very strict) unfortunately my dad played away at the age of 21
> 
> ...


That you know of...


----------



## fl0werbomb (Mar 31, 2014)

From past relationships I know that cheating means you do NOT care about your partner. You might think you love your partner but really.. you don't. When you are in love you wouldn't even think about someone else. I do think things can stay a secret, There are things that don't get out. But I don't know if I'd want to stay with someone I'd cheated on as I would always worry it would come out further down the line.


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## mrssalvatore (Apr 13, 2013)

Ben_Dover said:


> That you know of...


Nope that he hasn't


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## DanishM (Dec 15, 2013)

SJL1990 said:


> Hahaha


Pfft. Can you blame me? Lol


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

Lokken said:


> What prize you gonna give the best one :laugh:


Well u get best weirdo and worst fake member ever :thumb: so that's got rid of the **** prize :lol:


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

IGotTekkers said:


> You would rather destroy a loving relationship than satisfy a little natural urge?
> 
> How odd.
> 
> ...


Tough one...although agree a lot of it makes sense :thumbup1:


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

fl0werbomb said:


> From past relationships I know that cheating means you do NOT care about your partner. You might think you love your partner but really.. you don't. When you are in love you wouldn't even think about someone else. I do think things can stay a secret, There are things that don't get out. But I don't know if I'd want to stay with someone I'd cheated on as I would always worry it would come out further down the line.


Sorry but thats an absolute load of bollox.

Welcome to uk-m


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## PHMG (Jun 15, 2010)

fl0werbomb said:


> From past relationships I know that cheating means you do NOT care about your partner. You might think you love your partner but really.. you don't. When you are in love you wouldn't even think about someone else


I get where you are coming from and agree to a certain extent. But i dont think its something a female can understand. Male urges are huge ALL the time. A good bloke will try to ignore them again, all the time. Some of us are a bit weaker.

Like my wife only has eyes for me, she doesnt even see other males as that, they are just people. Im constantly haveling my eyes pulled towards attractive females and have to tell myself not to look. And she isnt what you would call ugly either.

Im not excusing it but its something neanderthal in us. We constantly subdue ourselves because thats how society is.


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## Was_Eric (Jul 3, 2008)

Ha haaaar

this is one of those threads where nobody tells the truth

well maybe one or two do but the majority dont


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

ewen said:


> choose wisely .
> 
> maybe i was blinded by the thought of another persons mrs and couldnt see what i have already however it wasnt a sexual `affair` it was deeper than that .


I know what you mean. It just p1sses me off that now im with someone whos really good genuine and trustworthy. I am now faced with women proposing me with limitless opportunities. Typical


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## Was_Eric (Jul 3, 2008)

PHMG said:


> I get where you are coming from and agree to a certain extent. But i dont think its something a female can understand. Male urges are huge ALL the time. A good bloke will try to ignore them again, all the time. Some of us are a bit weaker.
> 
> Like my wife only has eyes for me, she doesnt even see other males as that, they are just people. Im constantly haveling my eyes pulled towards attractive females and have to tell myself not to look. And she isnt what you would call ugly either.
> 
> Im not excusing it but its something neanderthal in us. We constantly subdue ourselves because thats how society is.


its definately different for men than women

men have a natural instinct to reproduce with as many women as possible, women are naturally limited

most men would fvk owt given the opportunity, perhaps a little more picky when in a relationship but lets be honest


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## kuju (Sep 15, 2010)

Never have - never would. Nasty thing to do....if you're not happy where you are.have the balls to just move on..

Mind you I'm getting old now.....that age where the joy of sex gets replaced by the joy of socks.


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## Was_Eric (Jul 3, 2008)

And the ironic thing is, there are beautiful (in shape) women post on this forum and as a result the majority of (attached) men arent telling the truth on this thread because they hold a glimmer of hope that these women will take a shine to them and may even want to have sex with them



funny eh


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Was_Eric said:


> And the ironic thing is, there are beautiful (in shape) women post on this forum and as a result the majority of (attached) men arent telling the truth on this thread because they hold a glimmer of hope that these women will take a shine to them and may even want to have sex with them
> 
> 
> 
> funny eh


You're not telling the truth either though are you..


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## Was_Eric (Jul 3, 2008)

andysutils said:


> You're not telling the truth either though are you..


  im not sure

i have only expressed an opinion and its true that that is my opinion

or do you mean about something a bit supernatural?


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Was_Eric said:


> im not sure
> 
> i have only expressed an opinion and its true that that is my opinion
> 
> or do you mean about something a bit supernatural?


well.. i mean, in the past, you was Eric. But the question is, who are you now?


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## Was_Eric (Jul 3, 2008)

andysutils said:


> well.. i mean, in the past, you was Eric. But the question is, who are you now?


ah haaaaaaaa, you have a point

i never actually was Eric in real life

are you actually a girl with black on her face?


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## GGLynch89 (Mar 6, 2014)

I wouldn't have an affair on my missus now just because I know what it's like to be that person.

>First serious relationship

>She's the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life.

>See each other for a while and fall "in love"

>I am away over sees, when I return she acts like I been lost for 10 years and been found so I would never think of her cheating.

ANYWAY

>She's pregnant, I am ecstatic

>Raise my boy for two years

> her words "[name] does not look like you, we need to talk"

>Arguments, split, anger, want to kill this [name] dude.

>Eagerly await DNA

>Not mine

>Quite literally die inside, spend the next 3-4 years going through women like they are throw away pants.

>Meet my now partner, have two kids you will be happy to know they look the absolute double of me.


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Was_Eric said:


> ah haaaaaaaa, you have a point
> 
> i never actually was Eric in real life
> 
> are you actually a girl with black on her face?


No, I am actually black. People with black on their face are just the ones who wish they were Black.


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## Was_Eric (Jul 3, 2008)

andysutils said:


> No, I am actually black. People with black on their face are just the ones who wish they were Black.


thats the problem with people nowadays, i think they should just be happy with who they are dont you?


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## Was_Eric (Jul 3, 2008)

GGLynch89 said:


> I wouldn't have an affair on my missus now just because I know what it's like to be that person.
> 
> >First serious relationship
> 
> ...


that cant have been nice


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## GGLynch89 (Mar 6, 2014)

Was_Eric said:


> that cant have been nice


You ever had to swallow that slab of sadness? It was like swallowing a highrise block of flats.

Just felt empty.

I contacted her a month ago the kid is doing really well.

She has another by the same guy.

You love you lose you move on. Thats life


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## Was_Eric (Jul 3, 2008)

GGLynch89 said:


> You ever had to swallow that slab of sadness? It was like swallowing a highrise block of flats.
> 
> Just felt empty.
> 
> ...


you know what mate i wont ever be able to grasp what that must have been like

i couldnt imagine the feeling after a couple of years of being a parent, if i had have been told my son wasnt mine

it would be soul destroying

its good to see you have got past it as much as is possible


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## frenchpress (Nov 22, 2012)

IGotTekkers said:


> You would rather destroy a loving relationship than satisfy a little natural urge?
> 
> How odd.
> 
> ...


What you advocate is basically a pre-church (Greek) conception of sex as an act, with a modern understanding of love, with modern morals regarding consent and age, and an interpersonal/mutual understanding of sex.

Which is pretty much a load of bollox. It is neither natural nor moral, nor how people function, nor how most of the world can live.


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## get2big (Mar 9, 2013)

frenchpress said:


> What you advocate is basically a pre-church (Greek) conception of sex as an act, with a modern understanding of love, with modern morals regarding consent and age, and an interpersonal/mutual understanding of sex.
> 
> Which is pretty much a load of bollox. It is neither natural nor moral, nor how people function, nor how most of the world can live.


In complete agreement with you on this.


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## cas (Jan 9, 2011)

Cheated on my Mrs once, it broke her heart....I won't do it again it was a real sh1tty thing to do.

And if she did it to me I would probably go raul moat on their @ss


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## banjodeano (Jan 9, 2011)

GGLynch89 said:


> I wouldn't have an affair on my missus now just because I know what it's like to be that person.
> 
> >First serious relationship
> 
> ...


Jesus mate...that is a sickener, cant imagine how you coped with it all....what about the first kid, you see it any more...?

this old fella i used to work with had two kids, he told me the oldest one who is 22 was not his, he knew his wife was having affairs all over the show, he brought the kid up as his own and him and wife never spoke about it, guess the wife thought he was stupid....he was telling me that one day his daughter said she heard her mum telling someone that she was not his, she went and asked her dad and he said take no notice of your mum she is talking daft, but he knew she wasnt his because she didnt look like him at all....


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

frenchpress said:


> What you advocate is basically a pre-church (Greek) conception of sex as an act, with a modern understanding of love, with modern morals regarding consent and age, and an interpersonal/mutual understanding of sex.
> 
> Which is pretty much a load of bollox. It is neither natural nor moral, nor how people function, nor how most of the world can live.


Haha. You are dead right, most of the world cant live that way because most of the world are brainwashed and stoopid.

Please explain to me how multiple sex partners is un natural and immoral. Every specie known to man bar the odd one has multiple sex partners. Humans have been sleeping around since day 1. It is perfectly bloody normal if it wasnt then we wouldnt do it.


----------



## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

frenchpress said:


> What you advocate is basically a pre-church (Greek) conception of sex as an act, with a modern understanding of love, with modern morals regarding consent and age, and an interpersonal/mutual understanding of sex.
> 
> Which is pretty much a load of bollox. It is neither natural nor moral, nor how people function, nor how most of the world can live.





get2big said:


> In complete agreement with you on this.


May I bring your attention to this study.

http://www.statisticbrain.com/infidelity-statistics/

If you look at the bottom 2.

"Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught 68 %"

"Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught 74 %".

Im afraid your 'opinions' on morality dont really stand up against real world behavioral dynamics studies.


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## frenchpress (Nov 22, 2012)

IGotTekkers said:


> Haha. You are dead right, most of the world cant live that way because most of the world are brainwashed and stoopid.
> 
> Please explain to me how multiple sex partners is un natural and immoral. Every specie known to man bar the odd one has multiple sex partners. Humans have been sleeping around since day 1. It is perfectly bloody normal if it wasnt then we wouldnt do it.


Humans have not been 'sleeping around' since day 1. Men have been raping around since day 1, whether its a women, man, catamite etc. Sex has for most of human history been about penetrating - women don't have sex, they get penetrated. Just as for much of history, it has been perfectly acceptable for a guy to bum another guy (but not to be bummed). Sex has for most of human history had two elements - reproduction, and having a **** in someone below you (whether inferior gender, age, class).

Onto 'natural'. Its perfectly natural for people to have lots of 'sex'. Totally. What is unnatural is 1) increased length of fertility and post menopausal sex 2) that when you shag a women she doesn't get pregnant or that she can get an abortion if she does 3) that she isn't likely to die in childbirth 4) that you can prevent yourself most of the time from getting STIs, and that many of these STIs are controllable by medicines. 5) one could even argue that 'consent' isn't natural, especially if you want to equivocate with non-human species sexual behavior, or look at how sex has been engaged in throughout history.

Now, you might argue that if we eliminate the consequences, great! But the fact is: we can't. How long was it between antibiotics that treated syphilis emerged and the emergence of AIDS? Not long - one generation. Are antibiotics going to work forever? there is a strong consensus in the scientific community that antibiotic resistant STIs are appearing and that they will only increase. Does contraception mean people don't need abortions or have unplanned kids? er no! Even more ironic is that some scientific studies are suggesting that the most popular Western methods of contraception (the pill) are introducing hormones into our water supply that are even making men less masculine!

If we look at the society that is 30 years ahead of us (Japan) are people having sex? er no. Are they actually rejecting sex and having an aging and declining population? er yes. Have they ever attached any negative stigma to sex? er no - Japan was a society that took its own prostitutes to war with it. It doesn't look like the idea of sex you advocate actually works in the real world, either mentally or physically!



> May I bring your attention to this study.
> 
> http://www.statisticbrain.com/infidelity-statistics/
> 
> ...


I'm sure you would get roughly the same results if you asked whether someone would murder or rape if they would never get caught. That doesn't mean that murdering and raping should be encouraged.


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

frenchpress said:


> Humans have not been 'sleeping around' since day 1. Men have been raping around since day 1, whether its a women, man, catamite etc. Sex has for most of human history been about penetrating - women don't have sex, they get penetrated. Just as for much of history, it has been perfectly acceptable for a guy to bum another guy (but not to be bummed). Sex has for most of human history had two elements - reproduction, and having a **** in someone below you (whether inferior gender, age, class).
> 
> Onto 'natural'. Its perfectly natural for people to have lots of 'sex'. Totally. What is unnatural is 1) increased length of fertility and post menopausal sex 2) that when you shag a women she doesn't get pregnant or that she can get an abortion if she does 3) that she isn't likely to die in childbirth 4) that you can prevent yourself most of the time from getting STIs, and that many of these STIs are controllable by medicines. 5) one could even argue that 'consent' isn't natural, especially if you want to equivocate with non-human species sexual behavior, or look at how sex has been engaged in throughout history.
> 
> ...


Well thats alot of anecdotal crap with more oppinions dressed up like facts. Whats happening in japan is down to their work ethic it has nothing to do with how they view sex, people are not having children because they are focusing on their careers, also they seem to be stuck in some kind of childhood/cartoon/makebelieve crisis where they are all afraid of growing up and hide away in video games, figurines and comic books fantasising over schoolgirls. But as you said.. they even took their hookers to war showing that multiple sex partners was normal and acceptable for a damn long time before their economic boom.

And for your last points, absolutely unfounded and obsurd. Humans have compassion and maternal/paternal instincts, i would hazard a guess that only a small % of the populous would be happy to rape and murder. How you can liken that to infidelity just shows your lack of understanding.

As i said before, your opinions dont negate fact.


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## Gym Bunny (Mar 25, 2009)

No I've never got away with an affair, but then I've never had one either.

Cheating i.e. lying to my partner is wrong IMO.

Having an open relationship which both parties agree to and are honest with each other is different and as long as honesty and taking precautions against STDs is maintained it's fine.

Besides, considering my short attention span, lack of impulse control and appalling memory there is no way, no how, I could EVER get away with an affair, because I would never remember who I'd told what, why, the lies - it'd just be waaaaaay too stressful. :death:


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## frenchpress (Nov 22, 2012)

IGotTekkers said:


> Well thats alot of anecdotal crap with more oppinions dressed up like facts. Whats happening in japan is down to their work ethic it has nothing to do with how they view sex, people are not having children because they are focusing on their careers, also they seem to be stuck in some kind of childhood/cartoon/makebelieve crisis where they are all afraid of growing up and hide away in video games, figurines and comic books fantasising over schoolgirls. But as you said.. they even took their hookers to war showing that multiple sex partners was normal and acceptable for a damn long time before their economic boom.
> 
> And for your last points, absolutely unfounded and obsurd. Humans have compassion and maternal/paternal instincts, i would hazard a guess that only a small % of the populous would be happy to rape and murder. How you can liken that to infidelity just shows your lack of understanding.
> 
> As i said before, your opinions dont negate fact.


Multiple sexual partners were normal for men. Women weren't too happy being prostitutes lol; it is a big issue in contemporary Japan. I think the statistic is 1/3 women in the UK experience sexual violence at some point in their lives, and that's in the 'developed west'. In fact, looking at most countries, it seems that the slightest breakdown of law and order leads to an orgy of rape and killing.

Another thing is I don't think you realize how modern and localized the masculinization of female sexuality is. Is this unnatural or not? Well most studies show that Lesbians have the least sex of any group, and are not particularly promiscuous. Why don't lesbians behave like gay men would be a good starting point...

In terms of the history of sexuality, everything I wrote has been documented in academic studies, history books etc. In terms of the unique time we live in insofar as the natural consequences of sex are avoided, well that is a fact. Its pretty well documented scientifically that this is coming to an end - AIDs is the simplest example.

In fact, when I look for examples of people living the sexual lifestyle which you advocate, it seems only to be a tiny minority of bored Western people, the type that go to Killing Kittens parties.


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## get2big (Mar 9, 2013)

IGotTekkers said:


> May I bring your attention to this study.
> 
> http://www.statisticbrain.com/infidelity-statistics/
> 
> ...


Just because people say they would do something if they knew they would get away with it ,in one handpicked study doesn't make it the right thing to do.

People naturally tend to be selfish but that doesn't make it good. If your way was the 'natural' correct way, then in a completely 'natural' environment , after allowing our partners to be penetrated by multiple different men, we all be bringing up twenty odd different men's kids. Maybe you get off on that idea but its not for the majority of men ,nor would it work in any kind of organised society.


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## get2big (Mar 9, 2013)

IGotTekkers said:


> You would rather destroy a loving relationship than satisfy a little natural urge?
> 
> How odd.
> 
> ...


And in the real world monogamy absolutely is a sign of love and respect. Its making a selfless sacrifice for another person, out of love and respect for them. And in traditional marriage making a commitment for life to show that person just how much you value them.

Happiness and contentment can be found in much more meaningful and useful ways than sleeping with multiple partners. And open relationships are hardly immune to jealousy either.


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

frenchpress said:


> Multiple sexual partners were normal for men. Women weren't too happy being prostitutes lol; it is a big issue in contemporary Japan. I think the statistic is 1/3 women in the UK experience sexual violence at some point in their lives, and that's in the 'developed west'. In fact, looking at most countries, it seems that the slightest breakdown of law and order leads to an orgy of rape and killing.
> 
> Another thing is I don't think you realize how modern and localized the masculinization of female sexuality is. Is this unnatural or not? Well most studies show that Lesbians have the least sex of any group, and are not particularly promiscuous. Why don't lesbians behave like gay men would be a good starting point...
> 
> ...


Absolutely, because of the reasons i outlined in my original post. And elsewhere in the world women are persecuted for such behavior.

More importantly still none of this negates the statistics that the majority of men AND women have cheated on their partners, and even more have the desire to but are afraid of the consequences. Look at any study regarding infidelity and they all come back pretty much the same result.

In regards to women not being sexualy open..that is through self preservation, in such throughout history any women thats been sexualy open is branded a slut, whore, disrespectful etc.. and no girl wants that name for herself, its degrading. Anybody that has studied attraction and seduction in any detail will know that women have this anti-slut defence that they put up. Its not that they dont want to put out, its that they dont want to be seen as easy and judged.


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

get2big said:


> Just because people say they would do something if they knew they would get away with it ,in one handpicked study doesn't make it the right thing to do.
> 
> People naturally tend to be selfish but that doesn't make it good. If your way was the 'natural' correct way, then in a completely 'natural' environment , after allowing our partners to be penetrated by multiple different men, we all be bringing up twenty odd different men's kids. Maybe you get off on that idea but its not for the majority of men ,nor would it work in any kind of organised society.


See this is whats frustrating. What makes it not right? What makes it immoral for a person to sleep with another if both parties agree?

Its not being selfish lol, if thats the case then moving to a nicer house is being selfish, getting the job you want is selfish. We do things that make us happy.

My mrs sleeps with other men occassionaly and oddly we dont have 20 kids from different dads, and other swingers i know dont iether. You make it sound like having sexual freedom is somehow a detriment to society. And it works perfectly fine in an organised society, do you see gangs of sexual libertarians roaming the streets causing chaos? Lol ffs.


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

I never said everyone had to partake in it.. all I want is for people to be less ignorant and more open with eachother. But it seems too many people are scared to believe and embrace the reality of human sexuality. Ignorance is bliss as they say.


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## fl0werbomb (Mar 31, 2014)

Merkleman said:


> Sorry but that's an absolute load of bollox.
> 
> Welcome to uk-m


Lol why is it? I'm saying I have cheated before and now realized I never really cared for my partner at the time.


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## frenchpress (Nov 22, 2012)

IGotTekkers said:


> Absolutely, because of the reasons i outlined in my original post. And elsewhere in the world women are persecuted for such behavior.
> 
> More importantly still none of this negates the statistics that the majority of men AND women have cheated on their partners, and even more have the desire to but are afraid of the consequences. Look at any study regarding infidelity and they all come back pretty much the same result.
> 
> In regards to women not being sexualy open..that is through self preservation, in such throughout history any women thats been sexualy open is branded a slut, whore, disrespectful etc.. and no girl wants that name for herself, its degrading. Anybody that has studied attraction and seduction in any detail will know that women have this anti-slut defence that they put up. Its not that they dont want to put out, its that they dont want to be seen as easy and judged.


Its bored rich people because they live consequence free lives. Just as bored rich people drive drunk, kill people and get away with it. Just as bored rich people at the BBC raped and molested anything they came across. Its not emancipation, its degradation. Somewhat doubt many of these sexually open women would be muffed out by any old bloke they saw in 'spoons.

Seriously, why use the example of a women being branded a slut when like I said, its actually because they would have had babies and consequently died!

In the link you provided, the majority of women and the majority of men *did not* cheat on the person they married. That is the significant statistic.

I don't really think you understand desire at all. There is a difference between 'what if' and 'I will'.


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## cas (Jan 9, 2011)

I wouldn't take to kindly if my Mrs slept with someone else, whats the point being together if your both off fvcking other people?

Personally to me that says "at this moment this bloke is more attractive to me than you are"

I wouldn't like feeling second best, sure she may find other blokes more attractive at times, but she has respect and doesn't end up in bed with some other dudes meat between her beef flaps.

I may sound like a woman when I say this but a relationship is about love, respect, feeling like you are the only person in the world that matters, not seeking out unfufilling one night stands


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## frenchpress (Nov 22, 2012)

IGotTekkers said:


> I never said everyone had to partake in it.. all I want is for people to be less ignorant and more open with eachother. But it seems too many people are scared to believe and embrace the reality of human sexuality. Ignorance is bliss as they say.


You are saying everyone has to partake in it, because you are projecting your own conception of human sexuality on everyone else. You aren't talking about 'your own' sexuality, you are talking about 'human' sexuality.


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## harrison180 (Aug 6, 2013)

Skye666 said:


> If u think a few words on a forum is getting u a date.....nope! It requires at least a few training sessions in the gym a few nandos and at least an hour under the 'police' radar...usual 100 questions....so I doubt I'm anything to look forward to lol...


You sound great I like a challenge  . Never tried nandos but want to, there isn't one by me and yes a visit to the gym would do me good as I have not been training like I should just lately lol


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## get2big (Mar 9, 2013)

IGotTekkers said:


> See this is whats frustrating. What makes it not right? What makes it immoral for a person to sleep with another if both parties agree?
> 
> Its not being selfish lol, if thats the case then moving to a nicer house is being selfish, getting the job you want is selfish. We do things that make us happy.
> 
> My mrs sleeps with other men occassionaly and oddly we dont have 20 kids from different dads, and other swingers i know dont iether. You make it sound like having sexual freedom is somehow a detriment to society. And it works perfectly fine in an organised society, do you see gangs of sexual libertarians roaming the streets causing chaos? Lol ffs.


Well i assume your mrs uses contraception which cancels out the whole whats natural for humans argument. If she or the men she's sleeping with didn't use contraception then the chances are she would become pregnant by other men. Then you would be raising their children. Now would you consider that healthy and the natural order of things? In the best interests of the children?

Since the so called sexual revolution and the introduction of contraception divorce rates have risen steadily, and broken families and lives have become common place. STDs are rife. Practically half the country is being medicated for depression. This more sex the better and anything goes mentality isn't benefitting society in any way.


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## get2big (Mar 9, 2013)

frenchpress said:


> You are saying everyone has to partake in it, because you are projecting your own conception of human sexuality on everyone else. You aren't talking about 'your own' sexuality, you are talking about 'human' sexuality.


Yup, along with insulting those who don't follow the IGotTekkers utopian world view ;



IGotTekkers said:


> Haha. You are dead right, most of the world cant live that way because most of the world are brainwashed and stoopid.
> 
> .


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## GGLynch89 (Mar 6, 2014)

banjodeano said:


> Jesus mate...that is a sickener, cant imagine how you coped with it all....what about the first kid, you see it any more...?
> 
> this old fella i used to work with had two kids, he told me the oldest one who is 22 was not his, he knew his wife was having affairs all over the show, he brought the kid up as his own and him and wife never spoke about it, guess the wife thought he was stupid....he was telling me that one day his daughter said she heard her mum telling someone that she was not his, she went and asked her dad and he said take no notice of your mum she is talking daft, but he knew she wasn't his because she didn't look like him at all....


I just had to cope with it, had no choice really, the situation I was in was in it was either keel over and let it ruin you or move on as fast as you can.

The thing is when I broke up with her she became a vile monster hell bent on ruining my life. Really confusing seen as I didn't do F'all and just wanted to forget it all. A bit of a psycho tbf mate.

No I don't see him, I don't know why I contacted her it just made me feel better about everything to know he is okay.

I have my missus, little boy and girl now life pretty good 

I can see why he has raised him, I had that thought pass me a load of times but the fact that she made it "my fault" just made that impossible. He is a real man for doing that it takes balls to take on someone else's children MASSIVE ELEPHANT BALLS to raise a child you know isn't yours. He should have her up about it tho.


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## Skye666 (Apr 13, 2013)

harrison180 said:


> You sound great I like a challenge  . Never tried nandos but want to, there isn't one by me and yes a visit to the gym would do me good as I have not been training like I should just lately lol


Fat lazy ass :ban:


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

GGLynch89 said:


> I wouldn't have an affair on my missus now just because I know what it's like to be that person.
> 
> >First serious relationship
> 
> ...


Tough !!!!!

Glad your in a good place now dude


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

frenchpress said:


> Its bored rich people because they live consequence free lives. Just as bored rich people drive drunk, kill people and get away with it. Just as bored rich people at the BBC raped and molested anything they came across. Its not emancipation, its degradation. Somewhat doubt many of these sexually open women would be muffed out by any old bloke they saw in 'spoons.
> 
> Seriously, why use the example of a women being branded a slut when like I said, its actually because they would have had babies and consequently died!
> 
> ...


Yet more crap that has no relevance to this topic.

I understand the point about health etc but that does not effect desire nor non-intercorse, they are other forms of sexual contact which dont result in pregnancey.

And no, the significant statistic is what people WANT to do vs what society thinks they should do.

My whole point that you have tried and failed to argue against is that it is naturaly normal to sleep with more people than just your partner, when people DO cheat on their partners and even more admiting to wanting to it kind of proves my point.

The only thing I struggle to understand is why you are trying to discredit a study with anecdotal fiction about murder and rape.


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

frenchpress said:


> You are saying everyone has to partake in it, because you are projecting your own conception of human sexuality on everyone else. You aren't talking about 'your own' sexuality, you are talking about 'human' sexuality.


Yes i am talking about the majority because its the majority that obviously feel the same, if they didnt they wouldnt be having or wanting to have affairs like the study indicates.


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

get2big said:


> Well i assume your mrs uses contraception which cancels out the whole whats natural for humans argument. If she or the men she's sleeping with didn't use contraception then the chances are she would become pregnant by other men. Then you would be raising their children. Now would you consider that healthy and the natural order of things? In the best interests of the children?
> 
> Since the so called sexual revolution and the introduction of contraception divorce rates have risen steadily, and broken families and lives have become common place. STDs are rife. Practically half the country is being medicated for depression. This more sex the better and anything goes mentality isn't benefitting society in any way.


Ahhh so the mental health issues in the uk are down to sexuslity? I see i see.

And yes exactly!! Divorce rates are higher than ever because of sex!! When if people were just a bit more open minded and less jealous then there wouldnt be as many divorces and broken homes!


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

get2big said:


> Yup, along with insulting those who don't follow the IGotTekkers utopian world view ;


Its not my world view.. its the view of the majority (once again see the study) i am merely trying to explain this to people that, ironicaly are too stupid to understand that.


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

IGotTekkers said:


> Haha. You are dead right, most of the world cant live that way because most of the world are brainwashed and stoopid.
> 
> Please explain to me how multiple sex partners is un natural and immoral. Every specie known to man bar the odd one has multiple sex partners. Humans have been sleeping around since day 1. It is perfectly bloody normal if it wasnt then we wouldnt do it.


not disagreeing with you but this bit has always baffled me, if humans where to fk like we evidently did in caveman days we would be extinct within a 100 years without a doubt, between chlamydia making us infertile and aids and hiv killing us we wouldnt last long.

now most of society is settling down and even when "playing about" wear protection etc. i dont see how you can say its perfectly natural considering the risks involved if you dont use protection, from a biological point of view protection doesnt exist

leading me to question were sti have actually come from as they cant of existed when we where conquering the planet

1 in 10 people its estimated have chlamydia, and this is in a society that has condoms and can easily treat and cure it


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

frenchpress said:


> Multiple sexual partners were normal for men. Women weren't too happy being prostitutes lol; it is a big issue in contemporary Japan. I think the statistic is 1/3 women in the UK experience sexual violence at some point in their lives, and that's in the 'developed west'. In fact, looking at most countries, it seems that the slightest breakdown of law and order leads to an orgy of rape and killing.
> 
> Another thing is I don't think you realize how modern and localized the masculinization of female sexuality is. Is this unnatural or not? Well most studies show that Lesbians have the least sex of any group, and are not particularly promiscuous. Why don't lesbians behave like gay men would be a good starting point...
> 
> ...


statistics my ****, if you ask the right girl in front of her boyfriend i raped her in a toilet.... completely ignore my side of the story were she dragged me in and helped me get my outfit unzipped.


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

gycraig said:


> not disagreeing with you but this bit has always baffled me, if humans where to fk like we evidently did in caveman days we would be extinct within a 100 years without a doubt, between chlamydia making us infertile and aids and hiv killing us we wouldnt last long.
> 
> now most of society is settling down and even when "playing about" wear protection etc. i dont see how you can say its perfectly natural considering the risks involved if you dont use protection, from a biological point of view protection doesnt exist
> 
> ...


Even with the risks we still did it. Just as we still bareback today.


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## get2big (Mar 9, 2013)

IGotTekkers said:


> Ahhh so the mental health issues in the uk are down to sexuslity? I see i see.
> 
> And yes exactly!! Divorce rates are higher than ever because of sex!! When if people were just a bit more open minded and less jealous then there wouldnt be as many divorces and broken homes!


As society has pushed sex more and onto people and we have become more sexually 'liberated' so divorce rates and mental health issues continue to increase. Promoting more and more sex with more different people isn't making people happier.

But you crack on Mr enlightenment feeling so content while big Omar and his 14 incher rams your missus, all the while knowing your the superior non jealous person who knows better. Better than the poor, brainwashed deluded fools like me who see sex as something sacred rather than meaningless , and would prefer to commit to one person for life.


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

gycraig said:


> statistics my ****, if you ask the right girl in front of her boyfriend i raped her in a toilet.... completely ignore my side of the story were she dragged me in and helped me get my outfit unzipped.


I just want to add something to this.

The ex in question claimed she was forced to do "stuff" (lets just leave it at that) so i said okay, we'll walk down to the police station and report him for sexual assault....

Funnily enough once i got her in the car and started the engine she decided she didnt want to do that...

Another example - I was out with some uni people this year and some girl was hammered, i said i would walk her back but she kept shouting and screaming, i decided in the end it wasnt worth the risk of something thinking the worst and me getting in trouble. so i left her to walk home herself.

Far too many women shout rape without thinking what damage this could cause someone else when untrue.

Another example - A friend at work stopped at the side of the road to help two women who were broken down, it was dark and they immediately panicked and shouted rape. He said okay, called the police and waited for them.

They arrested him and took him to court where he took infront of a doctor and said i didnt try to rape them because even if i wanted to i couldnt. When questioned why he had his doctor explain that his penis didnt work and he was unable to get an erection and hadnt been able to for about 20 years.

Case was thrown out and in the end the two women got community service for wasting police time + had to pay damages.


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

IGotTekkers said:


> Even with the risks we still did it. Just as we still bareback today.


we cant of had the same risks or we wouldnt be here as a species


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

gycraig said:


> leading me to question were sti have actually come from as they cant of existed when we where conquering the planet


HIV created by government to control world population.


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

FlunkyTurtle said:


> I just want to add something to this.
> 
> The ex in question claimed she was forced to do "stuff" (lets just leave it at that) so i said okay, we'll walk down to the police station and report him for sexual assault....
> 
> ...


should be fking jailed


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## Major Eyeswater (Nov 2, 2013)

andysutils said:


> HIV created by government to control world population.


Yeah - that & the chemtrails over Roswell... and the reptillian shape-shifters.. and 9/11 was the Illuminati


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Major Eyeswater said:


> Yeah - that & the chemtrails over Roswell... and the reptillian shape-shifters.. and 9/11 was the Illuminati


..... If you say so...


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

get2big said:


> As society has pushed sex more and onto people and we have become more sexually 'liberated' so divorce rates and mental health issues continue to increase. Promoting more and more sex with more different people isn't making people happier.
> 
> But you crack on Mr enlightenment feeling so content while big Omar and his 14 incher rams your missus, all the while knowing your the superior non jealous person who knows better. Better than the poor, brainwashed deluded fools like me who see sex as something sacred rather than meaningless , and would prefer to commit to one person for life.


Well it seems you have misinterpreted my views completely. Nevermind.


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

gycraig said:


> we cant of had the same risks or we wouldnt be here as a species


And if we didnt we wouldnt still be here as species. It takes sex to keep a specie going.


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## gycraig (Oct 5, 2008)

IGotTekkers said:


> And if we didnt we wouldnt still be here as species. It takes sex to keep a specie going.


it takes sex, not multiple partners, if everyone had sex in the way that you say is "natural" now without the aid of modern medicine we would all die out within 100-200 years due to STIs causing infertility/death.

im not disagreeing with your life style as im in full agreeance, but anything that needs medical intervention to be sustainable can not be classed as natural


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

andysutils said:


> HIV created by government to control world population.


Erm.......


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## Tommy10 (Feb 17, 2009)

I can quite happily have a 3sum with a couple but I couldn't do it in reverse ,

The jealousy would rip out of me if I saw my partner doing stuff with someone ,

I love experimental couples though , their great fun to be with


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