# meeting girls



## Ash_87 (Jan 9, 2010)

been single for awhile now, not having much luck. any ideas?


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## JPO (Apr 8, 2009)

plentyoffish.com ha , if your just after some fun get on that ha its too easy ha


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## Fatstuff (Mar 2, 2010)

read 'the game' supposed to be a good book on getting poooosay


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

fatmanstan! said:


> read 'the game' supposed to be a good book on getting poooosay


Its not.


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## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

Buy a balaclave and some chloroform.

In Seriousness what are you doing to get amonst the type of girls you want to meet and what are you looking for ?


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## Fatstuff (Mar 2, 2010)

JPaycheck said:


> Its not.


care to elaborate


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## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

fatmanstan! said:


> care to elaborate


it is not ?


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## eezy1 (Dec 14, 2010)

tell em ur kenzie from blazing squad


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

fatmanstan! said:


> care to elaborate


The principle and basis behind it is good. The over-inflated log of events and 'truthfull' accounts that it is full of are complete and utter tripe.

Just for examples a the book suggests telling the women you are gay; wearing bright and colourfull shirts and standing out.

Basically the chavs handbook to looking like a kn0b.


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## Fatstuff (Mar 2, 2010)

furry muff. I have not read it, but i think there is something in the 'negging' concept as thats how i used to pull back in the day - sarcasm and put downs lol


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## desh (Dec 13, 2010)

Well, if there's no whorehouse in your area you'll probably have to resort to brazzers.com...


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## Ash_87 (Jan 9, 2010)

switch said:


> Buy a balaclave and some chloroform.
> 
> In Seriousness what are you doing to get amonst the type of girls you want to meet and what are you looking for ?


clubbing most weekends bored of it now feel horrendous the next day and i'm so skint

wouldn't mind having a missus now really


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## eezy1 (Dec 14, 2010)

attracting the opp sex is a natural thing mate. dont ask how its done, just get urself outthere and be urself. u`ll catch someones eye eventually, then take it from there.


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## dtlv (Jul 24, 2009)

I think in general you are most likely to meet a compatable woman through a shared interest or something in common... interesting women do interesting things. Maybe join a club, study a course... do something that interests you, and do it for the sake of doing it not specifically to find a girl, but that's a good way to meet someone you actually might connect with.

Is always possible to pick up someone in a bar or club if you have no standards, lol, and you might get lucky... but generally I think you meet girls who are more compatable through doing something more interesting.


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## aka (Jun 25, 2010)

sign up for the aerobics lessons

or zumba


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## Readyandwaiting (Mar 20, 2011)

ghb?


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## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

Ash_87 said:


> clubbing most weekends bored of it now feel horrendous the next day and i'm so skint
> 
> wouldn't mind having a missus now really


You hit the nail on the head really want to meet your Mrs in a club ?

Go get a Sauna, join a sensible online dating site, smile at the girl in the florist 

Best of luck m8, its harder to do when your panicing about being single, so just chill for a bit and your be ok, and with a body like yours I would be wearing really tight shirts everywhere


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Internet dating sites for either fun or something serious.

I met my wife via one of these and despite my own issues she really is a cracker TBH.....


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## Pictor (Jan 10, 2011)

Facebook...!!! If you can't get a fcuk and your on facebook your doing something wrong mate!


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

big ste said:


> Facebook...!!! If you can't get a fcuk and your on facebook your doing something wrong mate!


Facebook is the work of SATAN !!


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## Big Dawg (Feb 24, 2008)

Watch youtube videos of people performing day game, get a wing and go out practising yourself. If you can afford it, go on a pickup course.

Little tip - if you actually APPROACH women you have a much better chance of getting to know them. K? K.


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## ironman1985bcn (Mar 3, 2010)

switch said:


> smile at the girl in the florist


Top tip this! Unexpected to her, can't be negative ! Then you might see her on a night out and you have something to say to her, "so you are the girl in the flower shop uh?"


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## Pictor (Jan 10, 2011)

gemilky69 said:


> Facebook is the work of SATAN !!


I've met some right wronguns on facebook but also met up with some decent ones too! I'm not on it anymore though because I've got a missus now and can't help/trust myself on there... It's full of it and it's way too easy! lol


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

big ste said:


> I've met some right wronguns on facebook but also met up with some decent ones too! I'm not on it anymore though because I've got a missus now and can't help/trust myself on there... It's full of it and it's way too easy! lol


I rest my case !


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## Big Dawg (Feb 24, 2008)

ironman1985bcn said:


> Top tip this! Unexpected to her, can't be negative ! Then you might see her on a night out and you have something to say to her, "so you are the girl in the flower shop uh?"


You: "So you are the girl in the flower shop uh?"

Her: "What are you talking about?"

You: "Er, I saw you in a flower shop the other week...were you buying flowers?"

Her: "WTF, you were staring at me in the flower shop?"

You: "Yeah...I...er...smiled at you"

Her: "Oh that freaky guy that smiled at me for like 10 seconds? That was you?"

You: "Yeah, were you buying flowers?"

Her: "Course I was!"

You: "Cool...so what's your name?"

Her: "Bye"

Honestly dude, stop giving out advice if you don't at least have a good amount of knowledge about that particular area. As opposed to just going around smiling at people (like everybody else does), why not smile, then...oh, I dunno...APPROACH THEM?!

What do you think, you're gonna smile and they're gonna walk over and say, "**** me!"? Doesn't work like that bro; unless you're really really ridiculously good-looking.


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## Pictor (Jan 10, 2011)

gemilky69 said:


> I rest my case !


Fair enough mate, I know what you mean but if I were single and couldn't meet a decent bird I would defo be meeting girls on facebook for random play in the mean time!


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## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

pimp yourself out like i do

http://www.adultwork.com/ViewProfile.asp?UserID=950145&TargetURL=MyDetails%2Easp&NoHit=1


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## 1adf1 (Jun 15, 2010)

JPaycheck said:


> The principle and basis behind it is good. The over-inflated log of events and 'truthfull' accounts that it is full of are complete and utter tripe.
> 
> Just for examples a the book suggests telling the women you are gay; wearing bright and colourfull shirts and standing out.
> 
> Basically the chavs handbook to looking like a kn0b.


read the book and totaly agree with you, wanted to learn a few magic tricks after reading this book tho

the game is a good book to read but dont try any of the things in there tho you would fail every time beleave me my m8t told me to read the book and he tryed some of the things out of it and well got shot down so much it was unreal


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## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

I really feel a bit bad giving my secrets away, but hey i can't [email protected] them all can i 

Steps:

Go to a bar where there is no loud music so you can talk to people:

1. Clothes: Good shoes, nice jeans, a top that is slightly too small.

2. The face: Eye liner (Not to much), Teeth whitner, hair in a unique style, Slight stubble.

3. Attitude: Stand tall and relaxed, be confident yet dismissive to their advances (Make them think they arnt worthy) maintain a solid eye contact when they look at you and hold the the gaze longer. This lets them know you are interested.

4. How to talk to them: Ask them questions (people love talking about thereselves) let them talk and try not to talk about your self to much. Seed plant - which means make suggestive comments (Like: I dont mean to be rude but your figure is amazing) dont do this to much!

Hope this helps lol


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

cwoody123 said:


> I really feel a bit bad giving my secrets away, but hey i can't [email protected] them all can i
> 
> Steps:
> 
> ...


LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.....

The one The only

HITCH has joined the forum.....

Give me a fu**ing break studly, honestly...


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## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> I really feel a bit bad giving my secrets away, but hey i can't [email protected] them all can i
> 
> Steps:
> 
> ...


all of the above ut miss out the make up, because if she realises your wearing it she may think you've been at your mams make up.


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## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

NoodleArms said:


> all of the above ut miss out the make up, because if she realises your wearing it she may think you've been at your mams make up.


LOL

It has to be just enough to accentuate your eye's but not enough to look like your in drag! If they ask you just say it's guy liner, i like to keep in touch with my feminine side!

Johny Depp, Russell brand, hell even Russell Crowe wore it in Gladiator... See a pattern here...It works trust me! lol


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## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> LOL
> 
> It has to be just enough to accentuate your eye's but not enough to look like your in drag! If they ask you just say it's guy liner, i like to keep in touch with my feminine side!
> 
> Johny Depp, Russell brand, hell even Russell Crowe wore it in Gladiator... See a pattern here...It works trust me! lol


That may be so, but they have professional make up artists doing it for them. If i did it id go out looking like a right sl ut, Slag lines the lot.


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## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

NoodleArms said:


> That may be so, but they have professional make up artists doing it for them. If i did it id go out looking like a right sl ut, Slag lines the lot.


LOL Well get your mum to do it for you then, they been doing it for years after all!


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## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> pimp yourself out like i do
> 
> http://www.adultwork.com/ViewProfile.asp?UserID=950145&TargetURL=MyDetails%2Easp&NoHit=1


Enjoys:

"A" Levels

CIM

Really ?


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## ironman1985bcn (Mar 3, 2010)

AlasTTTair said:


> You: "So you are the girl in the flower shop uh?"
> 
> Her: "What are you talking about?"
> 
> ...


Well, that is a loser point of view man... If you go to a flower shop / supermarket...whatever place, a couple of times and you give the same bird a nice smile or similar stuff that would possibly make her think that you could be attracted to her, it is pretty much obvious for her to remember your face the very least, and probably in a good way, since you have not been the usual half drunk bloke that is out looking for a shag. And the way I see it, is when you approach her at the nightbar she could think "hey, that is the nice chap from the shop". And perhaps she also might think you are pretty good looking, and the conversation should flow easily, if she goes like the way you did, ok fair enough you didn't say or do nothing wrong, she basicly didn't like you. time to move away.

You must always when to approach a girl have an excuse from the way I see it.

your advice basicly is to go to a girl and ask her out? "hey could I know your name?" "work or study"... sorry man but I pretty much think you are the one lost in this...


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## monkeybiker (Jul 21, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> LOL
> 
> It has to be just enough to accentuate your eye's but not enough to look like your in drag! If they ask you just say it's guy liner, i like to keep in touch with my feminine side!
> 
> Johny Depp, Russell brand, hell even Russell Crowe wore it in Gladiator... See a pattern here...It works trust me! lol


You were actually being serious!

I thought you were taking the ****.


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## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

switch said:


> Enjoys:
> 
> "A" Levels
> 
> ...


giving, not receiving, sorry to disappoint


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## ironman1985bcn (Mar 3, 2010)

But I'm not saying about a random girl buying in a shop, I was going on about a girl WORKING there...


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## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> giving, not receiving, sorry to disappoint


Damn.... you look really cute too.


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## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

ironman1985bcn said:


> Well, that is a loser point of view man... If you go to a flower shop / supermarket...whatever place, a couple of times and you give the same bird a nice smile or similar stuff that would possibly make her think that you could be attracted to her, it is pretty much obvious for her to remember your face the very least, and probably in a good way, since you have not been the usual half drunk bloke that is out looking for a shag. And the way I see it, is when you approach her at the nightbar she could think "hey, that is the nice chap from the shop". And perhaps she also might think you are pretty good looking, and the conversation should flow easily, if she goes like the way you did, ok fair enough you didn't say or do nothing wrong, she basicly didn't like you. time to move away.
> 
> You must always when to approach a girl have an excuse from the way I see it.
> 
> your advice basicly is to go to a girl and ask her out? "hey could I know your name?" "work or study"... sorry man but I pretty much think you are the one lost in this...


Blatant upfront rudness can get you their too ya know:

This is how i would deal with it:

You: "So you are the girl in the flower shop uh?"

Her: "What are you talking about?"

You: "Er, I saw you in a flower shop the other week...were you buying flowers?"

Her: "WTF, you were staring at me in the flower shop?"

You: "Because i thought you was hot and thought Cooor i fancy a bit of that" (Big smile)

Her: "Oh that freaky guy that smiled at me for like 10 seconds? That was you?"

You: "Well i wouldnt say freaky...i am only freaky in bed"

Her: "What kind of pervert are you???"

You: "One that would [email protected] you every which way until you begging me to stop "

Her: "Oh right...you on Facebook"

LOL strangley i think this would have a much better chance of working and if not she was an obvious dick anyway and you will come out with a sense of satisfaction you put her on her ****!


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## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

monkeybiker said:


> You were actually being serious!
> 
> I thought you were taking the ****.


100% serious, i don't think i have had a weekend where i have not got sex or the FB or number invitation which leads to sex in the last year. I am now in a relationship so that's not the game anymore. Women arnt complicated they like to chase and like a man to be a man. the bad boy always gets the lady.

In reality i am not like that at all...but the persona you put out is the important thing if you want to get laid!


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## Pictor (Jan 10, 2011)

It's all about the three C's... Cheeky, Confidence and charming


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## ironman1985bcn (Mar 3, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> Blatant upfront rudness can get you their too ya know:
> 
> This is how i would deal with it:
> 
> ...


I cannot believe what I'm reading... First off, a little smile not a stare. Being nice that's all...

and then just in a nice way, being friendly approach her.

The example I've used is just that an example, you can use any phrase... But I thought that would possibly put a smile on her face mate...

approaching her... BASICLY is the exact same thing as you are saying, but the only difference is that to her eyes you show more interest than probably 90% of blokes in the club looking for a shag (most likely the way she thinks at the time)... I mean, please...

Example:

you: Hey how's it going?

her: - Having a good time thx 

you: the girl from the shop right?... My name is "xxx" (in a nice way)

her: (she will probably get blushed) o yes (I'm pretty certain that she will remember your face after a "few visits to her store")... my name is "xxx"

And I don't know move on from there...

Well I haven't had any problems with women with that kind of approach...


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## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

big ste said:


> It's all about the three C's... Cheeky, Convindance and charming


Camouflage

Chloroform

Concealment


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## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

And you lot enough with the fvckign examples, if you didnt get my idea of smiling at the girl in the flowershop, stop trying to dream up different endings and then argueing about it FFS


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## Pictor (Jan 10, 2011)

switch said:


> Camouflage
> 
> Chloroform
> 
> Concealment


Lol


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## desh (Dec 13, 2010)

big ste said:


> It's all about the three C's... Cheeky, Convindance and charming


You forgot the fourth C: cpellsheik


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## ConstantCut (Apr 21, 2011)

Stop looking and you will stumble across her...


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## Pictor (Jan 10, 2011)

desh said:


> You forgot the fourth C: cpellsheik


This is true... Lol


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## RickMiller (Aug 21, 2009)

Rh1no said:


> Stop looking and you will stumble across her...


Agreed. Desperation can be smelt from a mile off.

I'd personally say if you feel like you 'need' someone in your life, then you're not ready, spend some more time on you, build up your confidence and i'm sure she'll come along  I feel that partners should 'complement' one's life, rather than be sought.

Just try going out and talking to anyone and everyone, regardless of how they look. Oh and 'the game' isn't a terrible book if you take it with a pinch of salt. I found the main points to take away from it were:

1. Women are attracted to power (read that as confidence) but not arrogance or chauvinism.

2. Women are attracted to individuals happy with themselves (leaders, rather than followers), men who are decisive and don't bow to their every whim.

3. Women like men who can converse properly and can keep them interested. Try listening to how women talk to each other (easy for me as my profession is female-dominated), they tell stories. That's why they like gossip and can become engrossed in soap operas.

4. Women feed off emotion and comfort. If you make them feel a variety of emotions (happy, sad, joy, etc) when with you, it builds their 'comfort', they believe they're 'figuring you out' (never the case with me  ).

4. 'peacocking' (i.e. Wearing bright clothing; crazy accessories etc) isn't a stupid idea, it's a useful tool to attract/start a conversation. For instance, I have a variety of hats (trilby's, fedoras, flat caps etc) other guys might wear jewellery, have tattoos etc. The main thing is that it relates to point 2. it enhances your confidence, makes you stand out a little and you feel comfortable in it, nothing worse than someone who visibly looks uncomfortable in what they're wearing.

Just my thoughts, I'm no pickup artist


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## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

UKStrength said:


> Agreed. Desperation can be smelt from a mile off.
> 
> I'd personally say if you feel like you 'need' someone in your life, then you're not ready, spend some more time on you, build up your confidence and i'm sure she'll come along  I feel that partners should 'complement' one's life, rather than be sought.
> 
> ...


Everything mentioned is their in my formula!


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## Big Dawg (Feb 24, 2008)

cwoody123 said:


> I really feel a bit bad giving my secrets away, but hey i can't [email protected] them all can i
> 
> Steps:
> 
> ...


**** poor advice from some sort of pseudo-psychology book, right? Dude, you're talking absolute rubbish! There's people who are very qualified to teach this stuff (i.e. they've been practising approaching women every day for years) and none of them recommend not talking about yourself and asking loads of questions. Quite the opposite in fact!



gemilky69 said:


> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.....
> 
> The one The only
> 
> ...


Err...Milky...Hitch was black. Just sayin 



cwoody123 said:


> LOL
> 
> It has to be just enough to accentuate your eye's but not enough to look like your in drag! If they ask you just say it's guy liner, i like to keep in touch with my feminine side!
> 
> Johny Depp, Russell brand, hell even Russell Crowe wore it in Gladiator... See a pattern here...It works trust me! lol


It tells you they're celebrities and also have game. Hey...they all wear shoes too...and have ears...maybe it's having ears that turn the women on!



ironman1985bcn said:


> Well, that is a loser point of view man... If you go to a flower shop / supermarket...whatever place, a couple of times and you give the same bird a nice smile or similar stuff that would possibly make her think that you could be attracted to her, it is pretty much obvious for her to remember your face the very least, and probably in a good way, since you have not been the usual half drunk bloke that is out looking for a shag. And the way I see it, is when you approach her at the nightbar she could think "hey, that is the nice chap from the shop". And perhaps she also might think you are pretty good looking, and the conversation should flow easily, if she goes like the way you did, ok fair enough you didn't say or do nothing wrong, she basicly didn't like you. time to move away.
> 
> You must always when to approach a girl have an excuse from the way I see it.
> 
> your advice basicly is to go to a girl and ask her out? "hey could I know your name?" "work or study"... sorry man but I pretty much think you are the one lost in this...


Haha dude I've been practising game for a while, and have been on a couple of workshops. Loads of guys teach direct game now. Sounds like you like the long game - i.e. smile at a girl, then maybe see her a few months later and hope she remembers your smiling face. What experience do you have that makes you qualified to give advice? Cos it's sh1te!


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## Big Dawg (Feb 24, 2008)

OP, please don't listen to anyone on here (myself included)! Head over to one of the pickup forums and read around there; find a wing; or go on a workshop. I doubt anyone here is qualified to give advice - most people are talking rubbish based on nothing! Please don't listen to any of this - it's like your dad giving you his tips on picking up women, when he actually knows nothing about it (and his advice is about 40 years outdated).


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## Greenspin (Dec 27, 2010)

I don't look. That way if one comes along, then great. I am not a chaser. But will do my part in a relationship (including pre actual relationship, so once Im hooked, they know they are the only person that exists)


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## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

haha this is funny.

just put on a bloody v neck tshirt that is to tight,have lots of confidence,if you dont have confidence then pretend you do, i promise you,every guy on here looks great. use those bodies that you work so hard for! it really is that simple!!!! if that dont work then you need to train harder.

and if that still dont work then the girls obviously dont like muscle. and if they dont like muscle why would you want to be with them?!


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## Readyandwaiting (Mar 20, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> The principle and basis behind it is good. The over-inflated log of events and 'truthfull' accounts that it is full of are complete and utter tripe.
> 
> Just for examples a the book suggests telling the women you are gay; wearing bright and colourfull shirts and standing out.
> 
> Basically the chavs handbook to looking like a kn0b.


Basically, you could say you are gay, that they are not your type and you prefer blonde with blue eyes in stead of what they are etc....

I forget the name, but I think its called a neg.

Only these techniques to be used on a 9 or a 10 like really pretty women otherwise they can get offended.


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## Readyandwaiting (Mar 20, 2011)

Alpha male traits -

Confidence, smile, humour, willingness to emote, protector of loved ones, pre - selected by other women, well groomed, social proof etc...

Depends on the genetics and mind pattern of the individual, although it is said attraction from a woman's point of view towards a man is based on a sub concious level.

So for instance if you walk into a venue like a gathering or club etc... with 2 women on your arm, one either side, most women will instantly feel attracted to you.

You can gain social proof through the women/company that is with you are seen as enjoying themselves, laughing etc... based on the actions you are displaying, e.g. humour etc....


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## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

I would change the title of this thread to "Meeting Women". Girls play with dolls, women play with your mind and your c0ck.


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

ANGLIK said:


> I would change the title of this thread to "Meeting Women". Girls play with dolls, women play with your mind and your c0ck.


Slightly disturbing train of thought there mate....


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## Grantewhite (Oct 15, 2010)

Its just about animal magnitism even the most sophisticated woman just want her fanny slapped with a spitty hand and her hair pulled mid orgasm, just come accross powerful and manly and the knickers will drop .... also starting off an weatherspoons never hurts


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## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

gemilky69 said:


> Slightly disturbing train of thought there mate....


Disturbing but true...


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## Big Dawg (Feb 24, 2008)

Readyandwaiting said:


> Alpha male traits -
> 
> Confidence, smile, humour, willingness to emote, protector of loved ones, pre - selected by other women, well groomed, social proof etc...
> 
> ...


Definite truth to this. However, like I said, this is one small part of a puzzle. It's cool understanding what girls are attracted to, but it's another thing to go out and repeatedly practice for months on end until you get much better. If people applied the same approach to meeting women that they applied to bbing, they'd get laid a lot more often.



ANGLIK said:


> I would change the title of this thread to "Meeting Women". Girls play with dolls, women play with your mind and your c0ck.


That's why I put a little dress on my cock and refer to it as Barbie :lol:

Seriously though, the term "girl" has obviously come to include young women in modern discourse.


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## spike (Jul 27, 2009)

I'm on match and could literally have a new date every day if I was willing to work harder at it but frankly, I'm doing well enough on 2 dates per week to keep me happy.

Nice, professional, good looking women - some of whom I sleep with. Just haven't met the one to settle down with but who cares at this stage?

My secret?

Being myself and not taking any absurd advice. 

ps - Women know about "The Game" - at least the worthwhile ones do and hate it. I'll never bother reading it anyway.


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## Big Dawg (Feb 24, 2008)

neurospike7 said:


> I'm on match and could literally have a new date every day if I was willing to work harder at it but frankly, I'm doing well enough on 2 dates per week to keep me happy.
> 
> Nice, professional, good looking women - some of whom I sleep with. Just haven't met the one to settle down with but who cares at this stage?
> 
> ...


It's an old book and many advancements have been made since then. Hardly anyone recommends using scripts any more. The principles in the game (which is based on the Mystery Method, originally published in the Venusian Arts Handbook) are sound because they're based on evolutionary principles, but it would be like basing your bodybuilding on advice from the 1950s. I.e. it'll still work, but many advancements have been made since then and it won't be optimal.


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## Boshboshbosh (Nov 23, 2009)

easy

if you see one you like the look off, talk to them, if it feels right, ask them if their single / if theyd want to meet up

main barrier is confidence, but if you think about it, it doesnt really matter what she or anyone else thinks if it doesnt go to plan, so you shouldnt be worried about things going wrong, removing confidence as a barrier

or just get some date rape


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## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

Sorry nearly spat my cappuccino out at this post


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## Boshboshbosh (Nov 23, 2009)

infact what am I talking about,

Stay single, more time for gym, just have a ****.


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## Sk1nny (Jun 5, 2010)

So your trying to meet girls in a club. Best way to meet a girl you like the look of in a club. Wait till she's at the bar to get a drink then walk up to her and say hi I'll buy your drink if you get mine too. She will look at you like **** off pervert or just ask why you would do that. Then you say I've been waiting for a drink for ages and the bar man is serving all the pretty girls first. If she's pretty the dirty barsteward will serve her within the next 2 customers guaranteed. You've paid her the ultimate compliment and made her feel special whilst being genuine and also bought her a drink. The rest is just genuine chit chat and I used to get about 8 out of 10 follow ups with this technique 

Oh yer and don't get ****ed. Be alert and you will read the whole situation better


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## JoePro (Aug 26, 2009)

Get plastic surgery, and start wearing some BO Spray to help with your stench... Worked for me.


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## HJL (Apr 26, 2009)

switch said:


> And you lot enough with the fvckign examples, if you didnt get my idea of smiling at the girl in the flowershop, stop trying to dream up different endings and then argueing about it FFS


This thread is golden! People dreaming up convosations between them and a woman in a flower shop they smiled at :lol: :lol: :lol:

this is how it WOULD DEFINATLY HAPPEN.

You: So you are the girl in the flower shop uh?

Her*: yeah thats me, why do you fancy some?

You: yeah alrite, wow this was easy, do you do this often?

Her*: what, you mean with total strangers?

You: yeah, i didnt expect you to offer me sex on the first date!

Her*: well i ment do you want some flowers, but sex would be good aswell

You: ok aswome, bend over

Her*: (girl bends over)

You: (you enter)

Her*: mmm

You: (reach round) ****!!!!!!!! (pull out)

Her*: whats up?

You (your a fkin bloke!!)

Her*: yeah....

You: guess i should have gone to specsavers and got some glasses instead of spending all my money on protien!

just get out there and do your thing mate. Smile in a sexy way at any birds around the workplace, just so they remember you. If your a nobody and no women know you, youve got no chance. Even holding the door open on one ocasion can lead to you to somehting with the girl.

Ive seen girls that ive thought hello your hot. and the next week ive been in bed with them (i know you want a relationship) You really have to just put yourself out there. think of all the women you could have got whilst reading this thread.


----------



## Zangief (Aug 5, 2010)

My chat up line never fails....

Walk up to your girl of choice, start with:

"Me & you are going to be sleeping together i just know it"

Once she reply's with the usual "How do you know that?..."

Lean right in and whisper "Because i'm stronger then you.." (note add a little aggression in your voice for added effect), The bigger you are the better this works! lol

Good luck!


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

AlasTTTair said:


> **** poor advice from some sort of pseudo-psychology book, right? Dude, you're talking absolute rubbish! There's people who are very qualified to teach this stuff (i.e. they've been practising approaching women every day for years) and none of them recommend not talking about yourself and asking loads of questions. Quite the opposite in fact!


Nope all self taught from my observations and then put into practice. I like to observe behaviour and then work out why it actually happend that way then try to manipulate it myself. But i guess i don't know what i am talking about right, must just be blind luck that i had sex with 4 women in a day all of which i met over a period of 3 weeks. And have been getting laid every weekend since i met my girlfriend.

There is nothing wrong with make up at all, every women wears it as it enhances their features...so why not men? I can tell the difference in how peircing my eyes look as soon as i have applied it. Stop being such a dinosoar and get with the times.

I would not say i am stunning but i would say i enhance my features to the best they can be and then let blunt charm do the rest...

Oh and muscles really do help, but not in the way you think. It helps with guys around the girls, once these girls see you are getting a respect from the guys around you and they are say "Fook me your hench" You can almost see it ticking over in the girls head! To her you now look more aplha male and more attractive.

The Darwinian theory really is the way forward.

As i say i really don't care if you follow this at all...My dick knows it works thats all that matters.


----------



## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

switch said:


> Camouflage
> 
> Chloroform
> 
> Concealment


 Similar to the ol " Bp.R.A manoeuvre"= Bp-Blackpanther aftershave,R-Roofies, A-Alibi


----------



## C.Hill (Nov 21, 2010)

switch said:


> Camouflage
> 
> Chloroform
> 
> Concealment


Haha love it


----------



## rocky666 (Jul 9, 2009)

step aerobics class. Make sure you wear white socks and a white head band.


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

This thread is a MASSIVE load of balls!

Who the hell wants to pick up some chavvy whore in a terrible RnB club where everyone dances like they have some sort of syndrome.

Get your ass out to a flaming social event that doesn't involve god awfull music and chavvy idiots with a lat spread, and just talk to people.


----------



## Readyandwaiting (Mar 20, 2011)

wow so many masters at work on this thread ima unsubscribe now


----------



## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> I really feel a bit bad giving my secrets away, but hey i can't [email protected] them all can i
> 
> Steps:
> 
> ...


Eyeliner? did you say eyeliner?

Fack i know at 38 yrs old i may not be as clued up on the latest trends as i used to be but eyeliner should be worn by women and women only... You a closet transvestite :wink:


----------



## Hera (May 6, 2011)

I've said it before, but if you're looking for something serious then a dating site might be worth looking in to. 'tis how I met my fella and I am very happy indeed. I personally think that dating sites enable you to meet a far more people than you would in person and you can screen them for certain things before you even meet them.

Another option is to get involved in something where you might meet someone that's suits you, for example, an educational course or activity.


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

Katy said:


> Another option is to get involved in something where you might meet someone that's suits you, for example, an educational course or activity.


Does standing at the bottom of the school gates at 3pm with a bag of sherbert dip count as an educational course or activity?


----------



## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

Take up wakeboarding, im settled down but you get some lovely girls that ski or wakeboard!


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Depends on what you want really...Not all women who go out are skanks ya know. Even if you are doing classes etc... same rules apply. Sometimes you need to take the risk and just make a move. Don't be afraid of rejection, it's a numbers game.


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Katy said:


> I've said it before, but if you're looking for something serious then a dating site might be worth looking in to. 'tis how I met my fella and I am very happy indeed. I personally think that dating sites enable you to meet a far more people than you would in person and you can screen them for certain things before you even meet them.
> 
> Another option is to get involved in something where you might meet someone that's suits you, for example, an educational course or activity.


When l was on the dating sites NONE of them looked like you can l just say !!

Not hitting on you ( you know that )

My point being there are clearly good looking girls on there ( like yourself ) and its worth trying....


----------



## Craig660 (Dec 8, 2005)

Get a loan out and get urself a thai bride

or failing that get into rape


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Craig660 said:


> Get a loan out and get urself a thai bride
> 
> or failing that get into rape


Are Thai brides expensive then ?

I thought the Russian ones were the way forward now ?


----------



## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

lukeee said:


> Eyeliner? did you say eyeliner?
> 
> Fack i know at 38 yrs old i may not be as clued up on the latest trends as i used to be but eyeliner should be warn by women and women only... You a closet transvestite :wink:


Lukee apparently it's all the rage "Guyliner"-Eyeliner for men "Mensticks"-male lipsticks etc..and many men are happy that they can be even closer to their feminine sides, some are not happy and blame the moodswings, the love for chickflicks and being in the bathroom longer than their women on estrogens in the water, plastics etc... Personally I blame an overactive gay gene.


----------



## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

My younger bro is gay and he swears blind he wouldnt wear it but says some of his gay friends do so you may be onto something there madmuscles!

I was thinking i need to get out abit more but now im thinking nah, feck it, i wouldnt fit in lol!


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

We all enhance ourselves in the gym, hair gum etc... Makeup is the logical next step! lol

If people want to precieve me as being gay thats fine. When i am balls deep in my misses this afternoon i will think of how gay i am! 

Stand out and be different, you get noticed and you get the girl.


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Craig660 said:


> Get a loan out and get urself a thai bride
> 
> or failing that get into rape


its not called rape anymore its called surprise sex


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> We all enhance ourselves in the gym, hair gum etc... Makeup is the logical next step! lol
> 
> If people want to precieve me as being gay thats fine. When i am balls deep in my misses this afternoon i will think of how gay i am!
> 
> Stand out and be different, you get noticed and you get the girl.


lol balls deep in her bum


----------



## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> If people want to precieve me as being gay thats fine. When i am balls deep in my misses this afternoon i will think of how gay i am!


We don't believe you and will need some hard video evidence of your sexual shenanigans as proof. :thumbup1:


----------



## Big Dawg (Feb 24, 2008)

gemilky69 said:


> Are Thai brides expensive then ?
> 
> I thought the Russian ones were the way forward now ?


I've heard this too!

On a side note, has anyone ever seen a white guy with a Thai bird and not immediately assumed that money changed hands at the beginning of their relationship?

That Louis Theroux documentary on Thai brides is one of the saddest things I've ever seen. I felt so bad for some of the guys on that!


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

uhan said:


> its not called rape anymore its called surprise sex


Its not called surprise sex anymore, it's called "get the fcuk in the van or slit you from ear to ear"


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

madmuscles said:


> We don't believe you and will need some hard video evidence of your sexual shenanigans as proof. :thumbup1:


LOL i would love too...I have plenty of video evidence (It's amazing what you can get away with!) but i don't think this board would approve so you are just going to disbelieve me 

Oh yes and bottom action has been known...o **** i must be gay! :-s


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

AlasTTTair said:


> I've heard this too!
> 
> On a side note, has anyone ever seen a white guy with a Thai bird and not immediately assumed that money changed hands at the beginning of their relationship?
> 
> That Louis Theroux documentary on Thai brides is one of the saddest things I've ever seen. I felt so bad for some of the guys on that!


It always makes me cringe when i see and old white guy with a thai girl!


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> LOL i would love too...I have plenty of video evidence (It's amazing what you can get away with!) but i don't think this board would approve so you are just going to disbelieve me
> 
> Oh yes and bottom action has been known...o **** i must be gay! :-s


Don't worry buddy.

Upload it to the website I have repped you with, and pm me the link. I'll post it in the adult section for you!

Unless your in the adult lounge, in that case get it posted!!!!!!!

See, problem solved


----------



## Craig660 (Dec 8, 2005)

Defo gay wearing make up


----------



## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

At times , HIT is the way to go.

Short and intense.

Eat, relax, have a nap, then on to tyhe bars/ city centre about one hour from closing time.45 mins even better, that will prevent wallet catabolism.

Fresh, fully recovered, a new face appering like a bolt out of the blue, rapidly assess the situation.

At that time some women will be matched, the rest will not, and those will probabily bored of the situation, the faces , the desperados trying all the lines, approaches , books line with them ,now ****ed, pathetic and smelly of booze.

Here came mr Fresh.

NO BS, let them know you'll do them, if required. Move fast to tge next target , until a positive "contact" happen.

The car is parked near. Driving is OK , since not a drop of booze was consumed.

Sometime , take as little as 20 mins until rolling on the carpet, taking off clotes. Sometimes that's when you get asked for your name , and know her.

The real efficiency of this way , is not high scores, IE get more woman.

Most of the time , the score is very similar to the High Volume approach, all the night out, try with 50 woman over the night, etc

BUT , I can get a similar score, on a yearly basis,

wasting a lot less time and resources. Also , I really like this way more, it's more fun for me , better match for my genetic potential.

So, this isn't a sure ticket to get laid, just my approach to the original question

Also, save me having to buy & apply eyeliner!!!


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

uhan said:


> lol balls deep in her bum


haha love it


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

milmaz89 said:


> haha love it


Bet you do, mucky cow x


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

your a mucky cow


----------



## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

milmaz89 said:


> haha love it


Noted.


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

switch said:


> Noted.


oh i never actually meant it like that,but then i should have known you would have something to say!


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

I love mucky cows. They always ruin my grass though


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> I love mucky cows. They always ruin my grass though


you live in a council flat lol


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> you live in a council flat lol


HAHAHA


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

NoodleArms said:


> you live in a council flat lol


I'll have you know I have a lovely front and back garden


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

JPaycheck said:


> I'll have you know I have a lovely front and back garden


Please tell me thats not prison lingo !!


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

gemilky69 said:


> Please tell me thats not prison lingo !!


milky and jpay getting passed about like currency


----------



## sakso (Mar 14, 2011)

eezy1 said:


> attracting the opp sex is a natural thing mate. dont ask how its done, just get urself outthere and be urself. u`ll catch someones eye eventually, then take it from there.


whats he gonna do if that some was this:










how is he gonna take it from there?


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

gemilky69 said:


> Please tell me thats not prison lingo !!


haha!!!

Nope, I literally have a very nice front and back garden.


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

NoodleArms said:


> milky and jpay getting passed about like currency


I certainly didn't, I just kept to myself!


----------



## ba baracuss (Apr 26, 2004)

Ash_87 said:


> been single for awhile now, not having much luck. any ideas?


Take it as a blessing. I'm happily single. Most women are a waste of time IMO.

What most women want isn't what most blokes are - just read this thread for the endless contrived bollocks people suggest to succeed. Most of it is true though - gay clothes, tattoos, quirkiness, going on pickup courses and basically being something you're not. Fck that sh1t.


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> I certainly didn't, I just kept to myself!


"i wona borrow Jpay for a hour, heres a pay of custurd creams"


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

NoodleArms said:


> "i wona borrow Jpay for a hour, heres a pay of custurd creams"


I was in me cell 23 hours a day so not much time to spare lol


----------



## Big Dawg (Feb 24, 2008)

ba baracuss said:


> Take it as a blessing. I'm happily single. Most women are a waste of time IMO.
> 
> What most women want isn't what most blokes are - just read this thread for the endless contrived bollocks people suggest to succeed. Most of it is true though - gay clothes, tattoos, quirkiness, going on pickup courses and basically being something you're not. Fck that sh1t.


Yeah, w4nking is great!

No offence mate, but if you're attracting waste of time pussy, maybe you're just waste of time dick. Ever thought of that?


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

JPaycheck said:


> I was in me cell 23 hours a day so not much time to spare lol


And can l add l have never actually been to prison, fu*k knows how but l havent !!


----------



## Craig660 (Dec 8, 2005)

Maybe you should start doing coke ?

Will give you more confidence and the birds love it


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Craig660 said:


> Maybe you should start doing coke ?
> 
> Will give you more confidence and the birds love it


Is this true or a joke ?

I am old and genuinely curious if this is what young women go for ?


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

cwoody123 said:


> I really feel a bit bad giving my secrets away, but hey i can't [email protected] them all can i
> 
> Steps:
> 
> ...


actually embarrassed for you. cringeworthy. and eyeliner? **** off


----------



## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

Wonder how many people giving advice on this thread have never touched a female with their consent :lol:

If your looking for a GF then be yourself, no point acting like someone else if your stuck with them! Maybe be a bit cockier with initial flirting but unless you want to wear eye liner for your remaining days just act as you would usually. Do something that interests you, maybe you will meet someone there and then at least you share something in common.

There is no win win formula for all other wise we would all be banging the hot girls, what works for some wont work for others.


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Shady45 said:


> Wonder how many people giving advice on this thread have never touched a female with their consent :lol:
> 
> If your looking for a GF then be yourself, no point acting like someone else if your stuck with them! Maybe be a bit cockier with initial flirting but unless you want to wear eye liner for your remaining days just act as you would usually. Do something that interests you, maybe you will meet someone there and then at least you share something in common.
> 
> There is no win win formula for all other wise we would all be banging the hot girls, what works for some wont work for others.


Spot on......

I have pulled because of my size and rejected for the same thing, no one can tell you what a woman is looking for in you.


----------



## SiPhil (Jun 16, 2010)

Cock out, wad of cash in hand. This shows women you have genitals for reproducing and money to support.


----------



## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

gemilky69 said:


> Is this true or a joke ?
> 
> I am old and genuinely curious if this is what young women go for ?


Yep. sad but true . Monkey see, monkey do. Fashonable and socially acceptable.

a positive note : does not have to be REAL COKE. Any white dust that produce some effect will do. Even placebo effect.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

SiPhil said:


> Cock out, wad of cash in hand. This shows women you have genitals for reproducing and money to support.


dont forget the eyeliner mate. ****s sake, still laughing at that, whopper


----------



## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

Shady45 said:


> If your looking for a GF then be yourself, no point acting like someone else if your stuck with them! Maybe be a bit cockier with initial flirting but unless you want to wear eye liner for your remaining days just act as you would usually.


Best reply so far.


----------



## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

For reference : does the eyeliner have to be touched up often , during the night, or spending a little more for high quality Maybelline or similars will give one more freedom?

I can just image of going to the gents in some places around here , to touch up the eyeliner!

Sure CC Blooms would be fine for that, but that defy the whole point of using eyeliner to impress/attract women.


----------



## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

gemilky69 said:


> Spot on......
> 
> I have pulled because of my size and rejected for the same thing, no one can tell you what a woman is looking for in you.


Very true. I don't credit women with much mental ability ( OJ  ) but you can't generalise across that many people :lol: some actually want to getw ith you if you act like a over confident tw'at, then others just think thats exactly what you are and show no interest.



ANGLIK said:


> Best reply so far.


Blushing


----------



## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

Be yourself? Okay..

Monday-Impersonated a pilot-Got p*ssy that night.

Tuesday-Pretended I was an mi5 agent-had a threesome that night.

Wednesday-Lied that I was a rich Arab prince's Pa and was hunting for girls for the prince that night-Had an orgy.

Thursday-Was myself, a hard drinking crack/meth smoking slob that t0ssed pizza's for a living-Got to told to f*ck off by every woman I talked to and was arrested for harrassment& beaten up by the police.

Friday-(back to pretending I'm someone else) Used the polices bruises they gave me and Lied that I was the sparring partner of Mike Tyson, f*cked a model, her glamorous mother and the granny.

Being yourself-Ridiculous

Pretending your someone else-Priceless! :thumbup1:


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

massiccio said:


> For reference : does the eyeliner have to be touched up often , during the night, or spending a little more for high quality Maybelline or similars will give one more freedom?
> 
> I can just image of going to the gents in some places around here , to touch up the eyeliner!
> 
> Sure CC Blooms would be fine for that, but that defy the whole point of using eyeliner to impress/attract women.


I'm glad l dont go out anymore TBH


----------



## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

Eyeliner now, painted nails next week, a 12 inch strap on dildo for Christmas ! who on earth would want a GF like that?

Ehm ... wait a minute .... some people actually do!


----------



## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

gemilky69 said:


> I'm glad l dont go out anymore TBH


I have to stay home at times, deca without test cycles, aldosterone when cutting amke me weep and cry all too often on a night out. The eyeliner goes everywere, I ruined endless bouffant shirts+ still did not managed to score a fattie!

I go out only when on high test or/and trenbolone.

Best fun is on masteron, but when on masteron I do not waste time chancing around, I go straight visiting some single mommas, old friends of mine. Low returns but safe stakes


----------



## SiPhil (Jun 16, 2010)

Ashcrapper said:


> dont forget the eyeliner mate. ****s sake, still laughing at that, whopper


Why would you stop at just eyeliner? You're hot stuff and could pick up a milky chick with some prep.


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

SiPhil said:


> Why would you stop at just eyeliner? You're hot stuff and could pick up a milky chick with some prep.


I will END YOU !!!


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

SiPhil said:


> Why would you stop at just eyeliner? You're hot stuff and could pick up a milky chick with some prep.


loving your work 

we make a nice couple, not sure that colour is right for me though


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

It does not matter if it is make up or if it is your teeth being whiter or your tanned etc... All you doing is enhancing your features...There are limits before you just start to look a freak we all know this so over exagerate the point if you like with your low IQ one dimensional comedy 

It's not that your pretending to be some one else your just giving out the correct persona and showing the best of you. If you don't want to peacock for girls then by all means go out in your trackies and talk about your cat...You will be the one [email protected] yourself to sleep crying!

As for the eye liner it works for me so i really don't give a monkey's left testicle what you think


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Ashcrapper said:


> loving your work
> 
> we make a nice couple, not sure that colour is right for me though


Errrrrrrrrrr no we fu**ing DO NOT make a nice couple !


----------



## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> It does not matter if it is make up or if it is your teeth being whiter or your tanned etc... All you doing is enhancing your features...There are limits before you just start to look a freak we all know this so over exagerate the point if you like with your low IQ one dimensional comedy
> 
> It's not that your pretending to be some one else your just giving out the correct persona and showing the best of you. If you don't want to peacock for girls then by all means go out in your trackies and talk about your cat...*You will be the one [email protected] yourself to sleep crying*!
> 
> As for the eye liner it works for me so i really don't give a monkey's left testicle what you think


The tears make for good lubrication


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> It does not matter if it is make up or if it is your teeth being whiter or your tanned etc... All you doing is enhancing your features...There are limits before you just start to look a freak we all know this so over exagerate the point if you like with your low IQ one dimensional comedy
> 
> It's not that your pretending to be some one else your just giving out the correct persona and showing the best of you. If you don't want to peacock for girls then by all means go out in your trackies and talk about your cat...You will be the one [email protected] yourself to sleep crying!
> 
> As for the eye liner it works for me so i really don't give a monkey's left testicle what you think


rightttt,so serious now,no joking or anything. you do actually wear eyeliner and it works?!

HAHAHAHAHAHA what girls are you picking up?

i think i know you from somehwere,no im actually being serious now


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

milmaz89 said:


> rightttt,so serious now,no joking or anything. you do actually wear eyeliner and it works?!
> 
> HAHAHAHAHAHA what girls are you picking up?
> 
> i think i know you from somehwere,no im actually being serious now


Marylin, Boy George spring to mind...


----------



## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> It does not matter if it is make up or if it is your teeth being whiter or your tanned etc... All you doing is enhancing your features...There are limits before you just start to look a freak we all know this so over exagerate the point if you like with your low IQ one dimensional comedy
> 
> It's not that your pretending to be some one else your just giving out the correct persona and showing the best of you. If you don't want to peacock for girls then by all means go out in your trackies and talk about your cat...You will be the one [email protected] yourself to sleep crying!
> 
> As for the eye liner it works for me so i really don't give a monkey's left testicle what you think


Let's put the card on the table,

I was having a bit of a laugh with your advice.

Truth, I did use eyeliner A COUPLE OF TIMES on the early part of the 80', post -punk period, but nearing 43 , I'll not " enchance my natural features" any longer , if I go down that way.

Thanks God there are other ways too, to have good times with layy-dees


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Shady45 said:


> The tears make for good lubrication


Learn something new every day! lol


----------



## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

Cwoody123, you hold your corner, Guyliner ROOOOOCKS DUDE!










Seriously though what do women say when they find out you're wearing it?


----------



## SiPhil (Jun 16, 2010)

Most here don't want to be referred to as a Metrosexual ponce.


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

cwoody123 said:


> It does not matter if it is make up or if it is your teeth being whiter or your tanned etc... All you doing is enhancing your features...There are limits before you just start to look a freak we all know this so over exagerate the point if you like with your low IQ one dimensional comedy
> 
> It's not that your pretending to be some one else your just giving out the correct persona and showing the best of you. If you don't want to peacock for girls then by all means go out in your trackies and talk about your cat...You will be the one [email protected] yourself to sleep crying!
> 
> As for the eye liner it works for me so i really don't give a monkey's left testicle what you think


good for you sister


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

SiPhil said:


> Most here don't want to be referred to as a Metrosexual ponce.


I havent forgiven you yet but l like that..


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

milmaz89 said:


> rightttt,so serious now,no joking or anything. you do actually wear eyeliner and it works?!
> 
> HAHAHAHAHAHA what girls are you picking up?
> 
> i think i know you from somehwere,no im actually being serious now


was he working in a massage parlour?


----------



## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

milmaz89 said:


> oh i never actually meant it like that,but then i should have known you would have something to say!


un-noted and moi ?


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

They don't notice as i am discreet, just enough to enhance. I will be known as metrosexual gay ball bag licking popper sniffing friends box set loving ragging **** if it means i still get to [email protected] girls who look like Cheryl Cole ;-)

You be a real man and eat steak and fart and burp...i will be an adaptive man and enjoy all the pussy i can...have fun


----------



## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> Learn something new every day! lol


Glad to be useful 

"Most people wouldn't understand cos they have an automatic built in reaction that is just learned with no actual thought" - Is that new after this thread, or was it there before? It is pretty spot on to be fair lol

To be fair if i thought wearing a condom on my nose and tampon in my ear would work in bedding Jessica Alba then by god i would do exactly that, guess it is dependent on what you want out of life


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> They don't notice as i am discreet, just enough to enhance. I will be known as metrosexual gay ball bag licking popper sniffing friends box set loving ragging **** if it means i still get to [email protected] girls who look like Cheryl Cole ;-)
> 
> You be a real man and eat steak and fart and burp...i will be an adaptive man and enjoy all the pussy i can...have fun


i think your lying


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

cwoody123 said:


> They don't notice as i am discreet, just enough to enhance. I will be known as metrosexual gay ball bag licking popper sniffing friends box set loving ragging **** if it means i still get to [email protected] girls who look like Cheryl Cole ;-)
> 
> You be a real man and eat steak and fart and burp...i will be an adaptive man and enjoy all the pussy i can...have fun


With all due respect mate you did set yourself up with your first post proclaiming to be some kind of dating guru doing us all a favour by sharing your worldly wisdom....


----------



## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> You be a real man and eat steak and fart and burp...


Sure must be some middle ways , between that and eyeliner


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

cwoody123 said:


> They don't notice as i am discreet, just enough to enhance. I will be known as metrosexual gay ball bag licking popper sniffing friends box set loving ragging **** if it means i still get to [email protected] girls who look like Cheryl Cole ;-)
> 
> You be a real man and eat steak and fart and burp...i will be an adaptive man and enjoy all the pussy i can...have fun


gets better


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

massiccio said:


> Sure must be some middle ways , between that and eyeliner


Yes,

I eat Pot Pourri and my farts smell lovely..


----------



## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> They don't notice as i am discreet, just enough to enhance. I will be known as metrosexual gay ball bag licking popper sniffing friends box set loving ragging **** if it means i still get to [email protected] girls who look like Cheryl Cole ;-)
> 
> You be a real man and eat steak and fart and burp...i will be an adaptive man and enjoy all the pussy i can...have fun


Cwoody123 is my new god, if he says it's okay to go out with makeup, a wig, high heels a manthong and stockings then by jove nothing's gonna stop me! :thumbup1:


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

madmuscles said:


> Cwoody123 is my new god, if he says it's okay to go out with makeup, a wig, high heels a manthong and stockings then by jove nothing's gonna stop me! :thumbup1:


Nothing did before lets be honest !


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> They don't notice as i am discreet, just enough to enhance. I will be known as metrosexual gay ball bag licking popper sniffing friends box set loving ragging **** if it means i still get to [email protected] girls who look like Cheryl Cole ;-)
> 
> You be a real man and eat steak and fart and burp...i will be an adaptive man and enjoy all the pussy i can...have fun


You still picking me up later to go dogging???


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

gemilky69 said:


> With all due respect mate you did set yourself up with your first post proclaiming to be some kind of dating guru doing us all a favour by sharing your worldly wisdom....


Nope, what i did was offer my personal opinon on the what i think he needs to do. Which is what people do when some one asks for help. Do you think i needed to include the eye liner bit, of course i didnt and i knew the ridicule of such actions. But i will back it up despite that as i truly believe it works. I really do not much care what people think of me except the one's who matter. I have done very well for myself with the ladies, people can experiment or do their own thing that is their choice.

At the end of the day i still ****ed a Cheryl Cole look alike so my formula in my head works perfectly.


----------



## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

gemilky69 said:


> Nothing did before lets be honest !


You've obviously seen me working the corners in bury on sat nights!


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

barsnack said:


> You still picking me up later to go dogging???


Yep you try and stop me! Look out for me i will be the the one in an M3 looking like Pat Butcher.


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> Nope, what i did was offer my personal opinon on the what i think he needs to do. Which is what people do when some one asks for help. Do you think i needed to include the eye liner bit, of course i didnt and i knew the ridicule of such actions. But i will back it up despite that as i truly believe it works. I really do not much care what people think of me except the one's who matter. I have done very well for myself with the ladies, people can experiment or do their own thing that is their choice.
> 
> At the end of the day i still ****ed a Cheryl Cole look alike so my formula in my head works perfectly.


ok you have a fair point,and its good to what you want and not care....

i just think had you not worn eyeliner you might have had two cheryl cole lookalikes in your bed


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

milmaz89 said:


> ok you have a fair point,and its good to what you want and not care....
> 
> i just think had you not worn eyeliner you might have had two cheryl cole lookalikes in your bed


Probably as i played her at her own game, she knew she could have any guy she wanted that night but i didnt give her any sign that she could have me. She started gazing at me and i gazed back(eye liner helped). I then said "You know what, i think your beauty is your curse" She said "So you dont find me attractive then?" I said "Ofcourse and if i had the chance i would **** you until you can't walk...but your just to much of a pretty girl and you know it" This is behaviour she has not really encounterd before and saw me as being different...The rest is history. This will not work with every girl, you do have to asses the person.


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> Probably as i played her at her own game, she knew she could have any guy she wanted that night but i didnt give her any sign that she could have me. She started gazing at me and i gazed back(eye liner helped). I then said "You know what, i think your beauty is your curse" She said "So you dont find me attractive then?" I said "Ofcourse and if i had the chance i would **** you until you can't walk...but your just to much of a pretty girl and you know it" This is behaviour she has not really encounterd before and saw me as being different...The rest is history. This will not work with every girl, you do have to asses the person.


so actually the eyeliner had nothnig to do with it, or did she actually turn around and say 'its your eyeliner that makes me want you'. i think she actually just wanted a gay best friend perhaps and really all youve done is rape her


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> Yep you try and stop me! Look out for me i will be the the one in an M3 looking like Pat Butcher.


At this point ahh I he finds it funny aswell.



cwoody123 said:


> Probably as i played her at her own game, she knew she could have any guy she wanted that night but i didnt give her any sign that she could have me. She started gazing at me and i gazed back(eye liner helped). I then said "You know what, i think your beauty is your curse" She said "So you dont find me attractive then?" I said "Ofcourse and if i had the chance i would **** you until you can't walk...but your just to much of a pretty girl and you know it" This is behaviour she has not really encounterd before and saw me as being different...The rest is history. This will not work with every girl, you do have to asses the person.


Then I cringed.


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

cwoody123 said:


> Probably as i played her at her own game, she knew she could have any guy she wanted that night but i didnt give her any sign that she could have me. She started gazing at me and i gazed back(eye liner helped). I then said "You know what, i think your beauty is your curse" She said "So you dont find me attractive then?" I said "Ofcourse and if i had the chance i would **** you until you can't walk...but your just to much of a pretty girl and you know it" This is behaviour she has not really encounterd before and saw me as being different...The rest is history. This will not work with every girl, you do have to asses the person.


It worked for me once....

" i said to one your a fat huffer with a big nose but l am on gear and horny" Any way she twa**ed me over the head with a pills bottle...


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

milmaz89 said:


> so actually the eyeliner had nothnig to do with it, or did she actually turn around and say 'its your eyeliner that makes me want you'. i think she actually just wanted a gay best friend perhaps and really all youve done is rape her


It is !!

Its fu**ing nc back to haunt us !!


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

gemilky69 said:


> It worked for me once....
> 
> " i said to one your a fat huffer with a big nose but l am on gear and horny" Any way she twa**ed me over the head with a pills bottle...


And at the time you was wearing eyeliner right?


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

milmaz89 said:


> And at the time you was wearing eyeliner right?


Well sort of...

it was the blood running down my face from the open wound...


----------



## Fullhouse (Mar 31, 2010)

If you can't get a girl you need to stop training and save up for a face transplant fella


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

gemilky69 said:


> It is !!
> 
> Its fu**ing nc back to haunt us !!


ok explanation?


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

milmaz89 said:


> so actually the eyeliner had nothnig to do with it, or did she actually turn around and say 'its your eyeliner that makes me want you'. i think she actually just wanted a gay best friend perhaps and really all youve done is rape her


Thats the point she didnt notice as it was discreet. She saw the over all picture and i played her mentally at her own game. Well if it was rape then she was raping me as she was strangling me whilst riding the **** out of me! Proper freaky girl...she just knew i was up to par for her needs and she would never have known that if i didn't suggest it ...SEED PLANTING!


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

milmaz89 said:


> ok explanation?


There was a member on here got banned called nc007.

He said BOOM a lot and his posts were of a similar ilk to yours..

Not insulting you l promise you just really remind me of him with a couple of your posts.


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> Thats the point she didnt notice as it was discreet. She saw the over all picture and i played her mentally at her own game. Well if it was rape then she was raping me as she was strangling me whilst riding the **** out of me! Proper freaky girl...she just knew i was up to par for her needs and she would never have known that if i didn't suggest it ...SEED PLANTING!


so if she didnt notice then whats the point of wearing it?


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

hey cwoody im going on the pull tonight which guyliner would you recommend ?


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

gemilky69 said:


> There was a member on here got banned called nc007.
> 
> He said BOOM a lot and his posts were of a similar ilk to yours..
> 
> Not insulting you l promise you just really remind me of him with a couple of your posts.


i said boom once coz thats the noise a weight would make against someones head i imagine....

my 'stereotypical manly' posts might have something to do with my job


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

milmaz89 said:


> i said boom once coz thats the noise a weight would make against someones head i imagine....
> 
> my 'stereotypical manly' posts might have something to do with my job


Whats your job?


----------



## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> Probably as i played her at her own game, she knew she could have any guy she wanted that night but i didnt give her any sign that she could have me. She started gazing at me and i gazed back(eye liner helped). I then said "You know what, i think your beauty is your curse" She said "So you dont find me attractive then?" I said "If i had the chance i would nick your eyeliner outa your bag to stop you looking prettier than me...


Edited that for you


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> Whats your job?


thought my username gives it away?


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

milmaz89 said:


> so if she didnt notice then whats the point of wearing it?


If your actually female then you will know the art of good make up is for it too look like your not wearing make up at all. Subconsciously her brain was saying what nice eyes he has. Shadows and mirrors thats all, just like a tan enhances defenition.


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

milmaz89 said:


> thought my username gives it away?


army 

maz short for ?


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

milmaz89 said:


> i said boom once coz thats the noise a weight would make against someones head i imagine....
> 
> my 'stereotypical manly' posts might have something to do with my job


I'm not for one minute saying your posts are manly.

The minute l hear BOOM thats it, were off....


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

this still going on lol


----------



## dtlv (Jul 24, 2009)

LOL at this thread. I don't like to go for chat up lines or strategies - I figure that by acting in an exaggerated way I'm not projecting myself, and being totally relaxed as yourself is actually the most attractive way to be.

Persue too hard and you look desperate, be too stand off-ish and you seem arrogant and self obsessed. Best way to be I think is always relaxed and confident and like you are not afraid of an attractive woman. Overt sleazy chat ups sometimes work, but rarely with anyone worth being with IMO.


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> If your actually female then you will know the art of good make up is for it too look like your not wearing make up at all. Subconsciously her brain was saying what nice eyes he has. Shadows and mirrors thats all, just like a tan enhances defenition.


You dont happen to appear on a show called 'Jersy Shore'


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> hey cwoody im going on the pull tonight which guyliner would you recommend ?


LOL go black mate, anything else and you will look more like Eddie Izzard rather than Russell brand!


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

Dtlv74 said:


> LOL at this thread. I don't like to go for chat up lines or strategies - I figure that by acting in an exaggerated way I'm not projecting myself, and being totally relaxed as yourself is actually the most attractive way to be.
> 
> Persue too hard and you look desperate, be too stand off-ish and you seem arrogant and self obsessed. Best way to be I think is always relaxed and confident and like you are not afraid of an attractive woman. Overt sleazy chat ups sometimes work, but rarely with anyone worth being with IMO.


i just pay for sex, find it easier


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

barsnack said:


> You dont happen to appear on a show called 'Jersy Shore'


lol

or the only way is Essex lol


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

milmaz89 said:


> thought my username gives it away?


Sorry, I can't figure it out! Am I just being dumb?


----------



## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

*BOOM*


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

taxi ranks are always the best place to pick up girls, u always get 1 bird whos half asleep or crying. cheers easy


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

I have been chatted up in the past and been convinced they were on a bet to pull the ugliest ku*t they could so l fu**ed them rite off, not having any of it !!


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

uhan said:


> army
> 
> maz short for ?


marilyn


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

JPaycheck said:


> Sorry, I can't figure it out! Am I just being dumb?


I'm going with MILITARY MAZ you flaming dicksplash !!


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> LOL go black mate, anything else and you will look more like Eddie Izzard rather than Russell brand!


we still talking about guyliner or just the first 3 letters


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

milmaz89 said:


> marilyn


How did he get army?

My only thoughts were a 22 year old miller, and possible maize or something. Maize miller.....no...just me?


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> taxi ranks are always the best place to pick up girls, u always get 1 bird whos half asleep or crying. cheers easy


thats how my parents met


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

barsnack said:


> i just pay for sex, find it easier


i always go to a massarge palour before i go out, smash some broad about then i have a clear mind for the night. Makes u more attractive.


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

NoodleArms said:


> i always go to a massarge palour before i go out, smash some broad about then i have a clear mind for the night. Makes u more attractive.


You best find out which bus you need to fu**ing get there now !!


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

gemilky69 said:


> I'm going with MILITARY MAZ you flaming dicksplash !!


PCT!



barsnack said:


> thats how my parents met


We did. I just found the most drunk, puking, make-up smeared, crying, mental wreck that I could and said:

"Corr your a right catch, you opening up tonight?"


----------



## SiPhil (Jun 16, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> If your actually female then you will know the art of good make up is for it too look like your not wearing make up at all. Subconsciously her brain was saying what nice eyes he has. Shadows and mirrors thats all, just like a tan enhances defenition.


You rate Cheryl Cole very highly but she's absolutely saturated with makeup. She's not that great looking if you see a photo of her without it.


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

milmaz89 said:


> marilyn


i like it x

so from a females view if you and your boyfriend were watching idk titanic it got to the emo bit and you started crying turned to your fella and seen him crying with guyliner running what would you do ?


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> PCT!
> 
> We did. I just found the most drunk, puking, make-up smeared, crying, mental wreck that I could and said:
> 
> "Corr your a right catch, you opening up tonight?"


that reminds me, dad could you lend me a £10 to go out with tonight


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

uhan said:


> i like it x
> 
> so from a females view if you and your boyfriend were watching idk titanic it got to the emo bit and you started crying turned to your fella and seen him crying with guyliner running what would you do ?


Kick him in the dick l reckon...


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

barsnack said:


> that reminds me, dad could you lend me a £10 to go out with tonight


Where you going?

I don't want you messing around with Jack again, you know he's trouble. Be back for 10pm. NO clubs.


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

uhan said:


> i like it x
> 
> so from a females view if you and your boyfriend were watching idk titanic it got to the emo bit and you started crying turned to your fella and seen him crying with guyliner running what would you do ?


i would be more concerned with the fact ive got a boyfriend rather than the guyliner


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> Where you going?
> 
> I don't want you messing around with Jack again, you know he's trouble. Be back for 10pm. NO clubs.


Jack, oh Jack Tweed, naw not hanging around with him since his rape charge


----------



## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

JPaycheck said:


> PCT!
> 
> We did. I just found the most drunk, puking, make-up smeared, crying, mental wreck that I could and said:
> 
> "Corr your a right catch, you opening up tonight?"


Then realized it was it was cwoody123 with his eyeliner running down his face


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

ANGLIK said:


> Then realized it was it was cwoody123 with his eyeliner running down his face


HA, SCORE, OWNED!

Wish I had thought of that!

reps


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

WAIT I'VE GOT IT!


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

JPaycheck said:


> WAIT I'VE GOT IT!


clap ?


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

Dont you hate it when you talk to a girl and she goes on about all the bouncers in town and how she knows them all. im like "yeah you groupie broad" ****es me off


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

EXCLUSIVE PICTURE OF CWOODY123 ON A NIGHT OUT...


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

NoodleArms said:


> Dont you hate it when you talk to a girl and she goes on about all the bouncers in town and how she knows them all. im like "yeah you groupie broad" ****es me off


Did she mention me ??


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

it makes sense now peacocking guyliner , bet the chicks r pi55ed off when they wake up and find ronald mcdonald gone and cwoody in bed .


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

GUYLINER

Its the future........


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

LOL I'm loving it! ...keep them coming!


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

NoodleArms said:


> Dont you hate it when you talk to a girl and she goes on about all the bouncers in town and how she knows them all. im like "yeah you groupie broad" ****es me off


Yeah but NoodleArms, theres a reason they mention the bouncers.

NOODLE:Hey, have I seen you around before?

GIRL:Errr no I don't think so.

NOODLE:Well I wish I had, your really hot. Ohh yeah, thats where, I saw you in my dreams.

GIRL: haha errmmm yeah, well, see you later then.

NOODLE:Where you going? I thought we were a couple? WHY ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME!?!?!

GIRL:Look, I know all the bouncers in town, so just fcuk off and no-one gets hurt!


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> LOL I'm loving it! ...keep them coming!


are you reading these while doing your make up ?


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

uhan said:


> are you reading these while doing your make up ?


I figured he's fu*8ed of getting ready to be out for 9 pm..... he's meeting a Jedward lookylike tonight.......


----------



## L00NEY (Feb 22, 2010)

JPaycheck said:


> EXCLUSIVE PICTURE OF CWOODY123 ON A NIGHT OUT...


now thats peacocking!


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

gemilky69 said:


> I figured he's fu*8ed of getting ready to be out for 9 pm..... he's meeting a Jedward lookylike tonight.......


my nextdoor neighbors mrs is going mental she is screaming at her fella for using all her make up and spending hours in the bathroom .......cwoody ?


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> are you reading these while doing your make up ?


Yea just waiting for my nails to set!...Have got to clean the place ready for my new GF who will be gagging on me in about an hour 

Leave you boys to think of some more fantastic jokes whilst i am away, have fun!


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> Yeah but NoodleArms, theres a reason they mention the bouncers.
> 
> NOODLE:Hey, have I seen you around before?
> 
> ...


LOL thats funny il let you have that lol

dont make me start the mum jokes lol


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> Yea just waiting for my nails to set!...Have got to clean the place ready for my new GF who will be gagging on me in about an hour
> 
> Leave you boys to think of some more fantastic jokes whilst i am away, have fun!


thing is m8 sorry to say this on a forum but your mrs has been coming round to mine begging me to knock her back door in as she cant take the make up anymore she said she needs a good seeing to not a guy that gets all emo on her wants to talk for hours after making love like in the films .


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> Yea just waiting for my nails to set!...Have got to clean the place ready for my new GF who will be gagging on me in about an hour
> 
> Leave you boys to think of some more fantastic jokes whilst i am away, have fun!


ive met your girlfriend and i can confirm were not missing much


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> thing is m8 sorry to say this on a forum but your mrs has been coming round to mine begging me to knock her back door in as she cant take the make up anymore she said she needs a good seeing to not a guy that gets all emo on her wants to talk for hours after making love like in the films .


Simply brilliant! suprised the BBC hasn't gobbled you up with comedy wit like that! 

Right iz off see ya laters.


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> Simply brilliant! suprised the BBC hasn't gobbled you up with comedy wit like that!
> 
> Right iz off see ya laters.


the bbc hasnt but your mrs has 

but i did put pubeliner on ?


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

uhan said:


> thing is m8 sorry to say this on a forum but your mrs has been coming round to mine begging me to knock her back door in as she cant take the make up anymore she said she needs a good seeing to not a guy that gets all emo on her wants to talk for hours after making love like in the films .





barsnack said:


> ive met your girlfriend and i can confirm were not missing much


I'm not having that you to have misses


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

NoodleArms said:


> LOL thats funny il let you have that lol
> 
> dont make me start the mum jokes lol


Your mums sooo FAT, that after I fcuked the bitch, I rolled over twice and I was still on the bitch.

Your mums so fat, she steps on the scale and it says to be continued.

your mums so fat she uses a rolled up mattress as a tampon

Your mums so fat that family photos are taken as aerial shots


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

gemilky69 said:


> Did she mention me ??


yep, said you had a lovely garden and that it was a credit to you


----------



## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> Simply brilliant! suprised the BBC hasn't gobbled you up with comedy wit like that!
> 
> Right iz off see ya laters.


Have nice time with your GF, mate.

Just remember , if she put up with" "adaptative" eyeliner , one day she will produce a 12inch strap on dildo, smile at you and say " let's get a lil more adaptative , k'mon , just for a little fun!"

Enjoy


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

Your moms so fat, she ate all Cwoody's eyeliner


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

Your mums so fat I swerved to avoid her in my car and ran out of petrol


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

your moms so fat, i find her attractive


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

barsnack said:


> Your moms so fat, she ate all Cwoody's eyeliner





JPaycheck said:


> Your mums so fat I swerved to avoid her in my car and ran out of petrol


Lets get off mums now, i just got off both of yours...


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

what have i missed? cwoodys mum is fat,cwoody wears eyeliner,and hes gone to find his cheryl cole lookalike who is in fact a man?


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

NoodleArms said:


> Lets get off mums now, i just got off both of yours...


your mums so fat she has been announced as the 8th continent.

Your mums so fat gorrilas in the mist was just her in the shower

your mums so fat she walked past the tv and I missed a whole series

your mums so ugly I can't tell if its your mum or a wrestling match between albert and rikishi.


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

milmaz89 said:


> what have i missed? cwoodys mum is fat,cwoody wears eyeliner,and hes gone to find his cheryl cole lookalike who is in fact a man?


You forgot JPayChecks hatred of all things fat


----------



## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

milmaz89 said:


> what have i missed? cwoodys mum is fat,cwoody wears eyeliner,and hes gone to find his cheryl cole lookalike who is in fact a man?


The last bit is of no concern , when one go out wearing eyeliner


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

barsnack said:


> You forgot JPayChecks hatred of all things fat


oh i didnt notice


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

milmaz89 said:


> oh i didnt notice


cwoodys heard that a few times


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

uhan said:


> cwoodys heard that a few times


haha

do you think this is classed as cyber-bullying?


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

dont think cwoody thought this is how he'd have an impact on UKM


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

milmaz89 said:


> haha
> 
> do you think this is classed as cyber-bullying?


without doubt m8 i can see it now cwoody comfort guylinering lol


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

milmaz89 said:


> oh i didnt notice


Awww, I kinda feel left out now!


----------



## Jalapa (Mar 18, 2010)

Damn I missed the fat mum jokes. here is mine anyway:

Your mum is so fat she has low self esteem and crys a lot.


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> Awww, I kinda feel left out now!


i'll let you in....


----------



## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

Up till earlier on I didn't even know cwoody123 existed on earth, since he's mentioned wearing eyeliner he is now on everyones lips...............


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

Jalapa said:


> Damn I missed the fat mum jokes. here is mine anyway:
> 
> Your mum is so fat she has low self esteem and crys a lot.


how do you know ?


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

Jalapa said:


> Damn I missed the fat mum jokes. here is mine anyway:
> 
> Your mum is so fat she has low self esteem and crys a lot.


i don't get it


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

Jalapa said:


> Damn I missed the fat mum jokes. here is mine anyway:
> 
> Your mum is so fat she has low self esteem and crys a lot.


You my friend are a genuis

Your moms so fat she has health problems


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

milmaz89 said:


> i'll let you in....


and me ?


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

milmaz89 said:


> i'll let you in....


flirter!

I'll let you know I had every intention of coming in anyway! But having permission helps a little.


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

milmaz89 said:


> i'll let you in....


are you hinting at something else


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

uhan said:


> and me ?


might be abit of a squeeze but sure why not


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> flirter!
> 
> I'll let you know I had every intention of coming in anyway! But having permission helps a little.


eh excuse me,i didnt mention anything about you coming


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

milmaz89 said:


> might be abit of a squeeze but sure why not


yeah i forgot we swapped pics


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

milmaz89 said:


> might be abit of a squeeze but sure why not


hahaha if you think anyone else will fit in alongside me, then you've never met someone of my.....lets say...caliber.


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

barsnack said:


> are you hinting at something else


no

so yea the conclusion is,dont wear eyeliner to try and pick up women


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

milmaz89 said:


> eh excuse me,i didnt mention anything about you coming


ahh what! Thats the best part. Alright, tag me out. Noodle, i'm tagging you in.



milmaz89 said:


> no
> 
> so yea the conclusion is,dont wear eyeliner to try and pick up women


She does, it works.


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

With all due respect lads please lets not scare another lady off the board....


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

how old are you lot?


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> flirter!
> 
> *I'll* let you know I had every intention of *com*ing* in *anyway! B*u*t having permission helps *a little*.


thats what he really meant


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

NoodleArms said:


> how old are you lot?


Old enough to hate clubs

young enough for people not to understand why I hate clubs


----------



## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

gemilky69 said:


> With all due respect lads please lets not scare another lady off the board....


cwoody has already gone.


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

ANGLIK said:


> cwoody has already gone.


ROFL!

SNIGGER SNIGGER!


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> how old are you lot?


probably to old to be laughing about the word 'coming'


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

ANGLIK said:


> cwoody has already gone.


he taken his eyeliner and lipstick and gone home .


----------



## Greshie (Jan 15, 2011)

gemilky69 said:


> With all due respect lads please lets not scare another lady off the board....


I've a feeling this lady isn't easily scared ..........


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

ANGLIK said:


> cwoody has already gone.


HAHAHAHA thats the funniest all night


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

im 25 and going strong


----------



## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

To add to the 'what not to say on UKM thread':

wear eye liner and get fukky fuk

To add to the horny memories thread for some people on here:

This one time on a UKM thread, they said coming! oh ye


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Greshie said:


> I've a feeling this lady isn't easily scared ..........


I think you may be right mate, jst trying to show some respect as all the ther girls disappeared...


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

Greshie said:


> I've a feeling this lady isn't easily scared ..........


she loves the attention, maybe its a fantasy of hers


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> im 25 and going *strong*


Not judging from your avi


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

milmaz89 said:


> probably to old to be laughing about the word 'coming'


i'll have you know, coming is hilarious no matter what age, its fun for all the family, be it 8-80.


----------



## paul81 (Jun 3, 2010)

barsnack said:


> Not judging from your avi


meeoooowwww!!! :lol:


----------



## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

barsnack said:


> Not judging from your avi


The lowest form of wit......but made me LOL


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> she loves the attention, maybe its a fantasy of hers[/quote
> 
> ha no ive just not laughed so much in ages!


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

LOL [email protected]


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

ANGLIK said:


> The lowest form of wit......but made me LOL


PCT has made me bitchy, i do apologise Noodlearms, i hope you will let me take you out for a 5 course meal at the Cabin


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> i'll have you know, coming is hilarious no matter what age, its fun for all the family, be it 8-80.


8....

so like 8yrs old?


----------



## Greshie (Jan 15, 2011)

gemilky69 said:


> I think you may be right mate, jst trying to show some respect as all the ther girls disappeared...


They probably all hide in the Ladies Section , too scared to appear in the general thread in case they get molested or asked for make up tips.....


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

barsnack, if you dint hav ears you'd look like my c0ck


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

milmaz89 said:


> 8....
> 
> so like 8yrs old?


Well....yes. Ohhh I remember back in the days of yore how we would all sit round ye old campire, people would come from miles around. I remember little jimmy would come, then old papschmere, would come. ohhh how we laughed


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> Well....yes. Ohhh I remember back in the days of yore how we would all sit round ye old campire, people would come from miles around. I remember little jimmy would come, then old papschmere, would come. ohhh how we laughed


your a hillbilly?!


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

milmaz89 said:


> 8....
> 
> so like 8yrs old?


apparantly Gary Glitter is a member of ukm


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> barsnack, if you dint hav ears you'd look like my c0ck


but i have two eyes


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

milmaz89 said:


> your a hillbilly?!


Do you want me to be a hillbilly?


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> Do you want me to be a hillbilly?


u can be anything you want to be


----------



## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

milmaz89 said:


> your a hillbilly?!


No he's a SILLYBILLY, you must have noticed by now


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

milmaz89 said:


> u can be anything you want to be


Would you like me to be anything I want to be?


----------



## paul81 (Jun 3, 2010)

JPaycheck said:


> Do you want me to be a hillbilly?





milmaz89 said:


> u can be anything you want to be


roleplaying now?? :lol:


----------



## Greshie (Jan 15, 2011)

barsnack said:


> PCT has made me bitchy, i do apologise Noodlearms, i hope you will let me take you out for a 5 course meal at the Cabin


Noods has only just joined this month , so he may not be aware exactly what the 'Cabin' is in UK-M folklore

speaking of which that Bear has been a bit subdued recently ......


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> Would you like me to be anything I want to be?


if you would like to be anything you want to be then i would like you to be what you want to be


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

Greshie said:


> Noods has only just joined this month , so he may not be aware exactly what the 'Cabin' is in UK-M folklore
> 
> speaking of which that Bear has been a bit subdued recently ......


when you get to greshie's age its all about swing clubs and dogging sites


----------



## Raptor (Feb 16, 2010)

JPaycheck said:


> Would you like me to be anything I want to be?


J likes nothing more than being treated like a sexy meercat...

Loves a good tickle under the chin


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

milmaz89 said:


> if you would like to be anything you want to be then i would like you to be what you want to be


This could go on forever.......

Tell him you want him to dress as PapaSmurf FFS


----------



## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

NoodleArms said:


> when you get to greshie's age its all about swing clubs and dogging sites


Dont worry mate, its all down hill after 25, you'll be 40 in the blink of an eye.


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

milmaz89 said:


> if you would like to be anything you want to be then i would like you to be what you want to be


Would you like me to like to be anything I want I would like?



Raptor said:


> J likes nothing more than being treated like a sexy meercat...
> 
> Loves a good tickle under the chin


purr purr, you know just the spot Raptor purrr


----------



## Guest (Apr 25, 2011)

gemilky69 said:


> This could go on forever.......
> 
> Tell him you want him to dress as PapaSmurf FFS


so you want to dress up as a papasmurf for me?

sorry im not really into that,you must be getting me confused with someone else


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

raptors abit of a dark horse like lol


----------



## Greshie (Jan 15, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> barsnack, if you dint hav ears you'd look like my c0ck





barsnack said:


> but i have two eyes


That's what I like about Barsnack ... always has a come back .... must be the Irish in him!


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

milmaz89 said:


> so you want to dress up as a papasmurf for me?
> 
> sorry im not really into that,you must be getting me confused with someone else


I could dress as rambo?


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> raptors abit of a* dark horse *like lol


racism wont be tolerated on this site


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> I could dress as rambo?


i normally get my girlfriend to dress as her sister when were role playing


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

barsnack said:


> racism wont be tolerated on this site


I'm not racist, ive got a colour tv


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> I'm not racist, ive got a colour tv


thats made my day, i salute you and your noodlearms


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Job done!

So whilst i was pro-creating this is the fruits of your labour! If your going to be social recluses and be on here whilst everyone is living you really should have been more constructive! :thumbdown:


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> Job done!
> 
> So whilst i was pro-creating this is the fruits of your labour! If your going to be social recluses and be on here whilst everyone is living you really should have been more constructive! :thumbdown:


In other words you fell asleep at your computer


----------



## geeby112 (Mar 15, 2008)

Work in a ladies store? a friend works in river island the woman floor and the amount of girls he gets from there is unreal.


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

milmaz89 said:


> HAHAHAHA thats the funniest all night


That is so funny (O dear!)...tell me do you laugh like Sloth from Goonies aswell?


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

barsnack said:


> In other words you fell asleep at your computer


You tell yourself that mate...it will ease the pain that you are not getting any!


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

CWoody, don't be too offended, don't take it to heart.

You can see how this is funny, you said something that was really cringeworthy, people called you on it.

Everyone is just kidding. relax.


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

Im being 'dead serious'


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Ofcourse i aint offended... but you should be able to get what you give and if people want to take the **** i will happily dish it back. Trust me i have not even started! lol


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> Ofcourse i aint offended... but you should be able to get what you give and if people want to take the **** i will happily dish it back. Trust me i have not even started! lol


You wont like me when im angry


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

barsnack said:


> You wont like me when im angry


You have not even got an Avatar so you must be one ugly [email protected]!...Wouldn't like to see you angry in that case or at all for that matter 

Just kidding...


----------



## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> You have not even got an Avatar so you must be one ugly [email protected]!...Wouldn't like to see you angry in that case or at all for that matter
> 
> Just kidding...


As opposed to your avi thats proof your not ?????


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> You have not even got an Avatar so you must be one ugly [email protected]!...Wouldn't like to see you angry in that case or at all for that matter
> 
> Just kidding...


Last thing i need going through PCT with my emotions all over the place is too be insulted


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

switch said:


> As opposed to your avi thats proof your not ?????


Yep it is is proof, that's me in my true form...and guess what....I am wearing eye liner!....OHHHHH

Feel free to change your picture to one of yourself mate?


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> You have not even got an Avatar so you must be one ugly [email protected]!...Wouldn't like to see you angry in that case or at all for that matter
> 
> Just kidding...


hello buddy glad your back 

you all glammed up ready to bum these hundreds of cheryl cole look a likes 

had to check your profile page buddy maaaaaaaan im glad i did lets just say no wonder you need to brush up a bit to get the gals coz you would never be a stripper well maybe a wall paper stripper lol


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

barsnack said:


> You wont like me when im angry


i dont like you anyway


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

barsnack said:


> Last thing i need going through PCT with my emotions all over the place is too be insulted


You mean your filling your body with HCG <--female **** and Clomid <--A selective estrogen agonist. You might aswell start wearing make up too!

Watch Titanic that will help...let it out big man! ;-)


----------



## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

I reckon everyone is just jealous because they can't pull off make up without girls just laughin at them...

stir, stir, stir


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> You mean your filling your body with HCG <--female **** and Clomid <--A selective estrogen agonist. You might aswell start wearing make up too!
> 
> Watch Titanic that will help...let it out big man! ;-)


cant afford make up, love how it makes my skin look though...hate titanic, got dirty dancing to watch instead


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> i dont like you anyway


Im guessing you havent go the flowers i sent you, im sorry for cheating on you it just happened


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> hello buddy glad your back
> 
> you all glammed up ready to bum these hundreds of cheryl cole look a likes
> 
> had to check your profile page buddy maaaaaaaan im glad i did lets just say no wonder you need to brush up a bit to get the gals coz you would never be a stripper well maybe a wall paper stripper lol


Ahhhh Mr uhan....this is witty for you! Did your mum let you have the rest of your easter egg and now your on a sugar buzz or something?

Profile is now out of date, i am now a 17st super stud. Nice to meet you!


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

barsnack said:


> Im guessing you havent go the flowers i sent you, im sorry for cheating on you it just happened


you could of taken your anal warts with you was well!


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> Ahhhh Mr uhan....this is witty for you! Did your mum let you have the rest of your easter egg and now your on a sugar buzz or something?
> 
> Profile is now out of date, i am now a 17st super stud. Nice to meet you!


sorry chris m8 but it aint out of date you see ive been on your facebook page look


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> you could of taken your anal warts with you was well!


they were a present from my dad


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

barsnack said:


> cant afford make up, love how it makes my skin look though...hate titanic, got dirty dancing to watch instead


Another top PCT fav after Ghost ofcourse! 5HTP and 1000mg of Omega 3 ED helps with the sides.


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

uhan just added u on msn, i thought it wud be ok as u didn't mind me intruding your ass


----------



## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

..... Eyeliner, I mean............ REALLY ?


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> sorry chris m8 but it aint out of date you see ive been on your facebook page look


Been on yours too...










No wonder your Avatar is not a close up shot...poor [email protected] i feel for ya...none of my techniques will work for you i am afraid! :-(


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

NoodleArms said:


> uhan just added u on msn, i thought it wud be ok as u didn't mind me intruding your ass


email is cool buddy but i reserve msn for my hordes of horny bitches as guyliner really does work


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

Guyliner, i dont need it at the mo as ive got two big black eyes


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> Been on yours too...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


wow didnt know i had that many teeth


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

barsnack said:


> Guyliner, i dont need it at the mo as ive got two big black eyes


2 black eyes from my big juicey balls wen we was 69ing last night


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> wow didnt know i had that many teeth


Oh sorry wrong picture...your mum won't mind will she, i can see where you get your looks from!


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

NoodleArms said:


> 2 black eyes from my big juicey balls wen we was 69ing last night


thought someone was 69ing when carl weathers ran past me in the woods last night .


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> 2 black eyes from my big juicey balls wen we was 69ing last night


you do realise im a guy


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> Oh sorry wrong picture...your mum won't mind will she, i can see where you get your looks from!


really ?

you wanna do the whole mum joke thing ?


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

your moms so old she can legally drink beer


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

uhan said:


> thought someone was 69ing when carl weathers ran past me in the woods last night .


Funny you should say that, I ran past this guy with really long arms 69'ing this irish guy last night while filming rocky 3


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> really ?
> 
> you wanna do the whole mum joke thing ?


Ohhhhhh please not the mum joke thing...anything but that!!

Thought you been playing that game already in any case


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

Your mums so dirty my golden showers are keeping her clean


----------



## Greshie (Jan 15, 2011)

barsnack said:


> you do realise im a guy


I don't think Noodle is too bothered .....


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> Funny you should say that, I ran past this guy with really long arms 69'ing this irish guy last night while filming rocky 3


you running? thats like dot cotton giving up smoking


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

JPaycheck said:


> Funny you should say that, I ran past this guy with really long arms 69'ing this irish guy last night while filming rocky 3


thinking about it the predator was being chased by carl weathers while i was taking a dump .


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> Funny you should say that, I ran past this guy with really long arms 69'ing this irish guy last night while filming rocky 3


even weirder, this guy in a gimp suit ran past me while i was havina 69er with a guy with a tiny penis


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

Your mums so poor her most expensive peice of jewelry is the pearl necklace I gave her


----------



## Greshie (Jan 15, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> Your mums so dirty my golden showers are keeping her clean


Oh that is revolting ...... ly funny .... you dirty perv ......


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> Ohhhhhh please not the mum joke thing...anything but that!!
> 
> Thought you been playing that game already in any case


not me m8 anything else is fair game like your mrs


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

Your mums so dumb when I spiders webbed her she thought I was giving her spiderman memorabilia


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> Your mums so poor her most expensive peice of jewelry is the pearl necklace I gave her


you just killed it mate


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

only on ukm can a thread entitled 'meeting girls' turn into a big gayathon


----------



## Greshie (Jan 15, 2011)

barsnack said:


> only on ukm can a thread entitled 'meeting girls' turn into a big gayathon


No different to the 'I'm straight' thread .........


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

i just had a pokey bum [email protected]


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

this thread is the 'diet im straight' thread


----------



## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

barsnack said:


> only on ukm can a thread entitled 'meeting girls' turn into a big gayathon


Its not UKM's fault, blame it on the queers with the eyeliner !


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> i just had a pokey bum [email protected]


what was his name


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

JPay


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> not me m8 anything else is fair game like your mrs


Ofcourse...i did suggest a 3 some with ya mate but in her words "She don't **** ugly trolls that have to train in a garage rather than a real gym as he most likely scares off the punters" I said that was a bit harsh as we had not even got to your picture yet!...we was still looking at the picture of your mum at the time.


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

NoodleArms said:


> JPay


Is there a pic or video or something, my browser won't let me see it.

Link?


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

ooooooooooo fighting talk


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> Ofcourse...i did suggest a 3 some with ya mate but in her words "She don't **** ugly trolls that have to train in a garage rather than a real gym as he most likely scares off the punters" I said that was a bit harsh as we had not even got to your picture yet!...we was still looking at the picture of your mum at the time.


lol funny as belinda has just [email protected] me off


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

i like abit of play rape


----------



## Greshie (Jan 15, 2011)

switch said:


> Its not UKM's fault, blame it on the queers with the eyeliner !


Just for the record some queers don't need eyeliner to pull ........


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

if this was facebook my status would be "every1 poke"


----------



## Greshie (Jan 15, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> i just had a pokey bum [email protected]





barsnack said:


> what was his name





NoodleArms said:


> JPay


Allegedly (according to Jpay .. there is no independent varification ) it would be more of a battering ram than a pokey


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

Greshie said:


> Just for the record some queers don't need eyeliner to pull ........


i read about this in Hello magazine


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> lol funny as belinda has just [email protected] me off


I would get some genital wart cream on that quick smart!


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> I would get some genital wart cream on that quick smart!


yeah she said you gave her a dose


----------



## lolik (Apr 24, 2010)

25 pages of spam lol


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> yeah she said you gave her a dose


Well it's a dangerous game when your out having so much sex mate...you will just have to take my word for it...Bless your cotton socks!


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> Well it's a dangerous game when your out having so much sex mate...you will just have to take my word for it...Bless your cotton socks!


funny that as your sister said the same thing .


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

lolik said:


> 25 pages of spam lol


unfortunatly so!...


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> funny that as your sister said the same thing .


Yea were the dynamic duo! Both out their spreading the love!

Isnt it past your bed time...school tommorrow?


----------



## Dazza (Aug 7, 2010)

milmaz89 said:


> thought my username gives it away?


Ooh hi there military momma










This thread got legs


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

you can cut the sexual tension between Cwoody and Uhan with a knife


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> Yea were the dynamic duo! Both out their spreading the love!
> 
> Isnt it past your bed time...school tommorrow?


yeah i think it is , i wont keep you up all night again m8 i`ll make sure your sis puts a pillow behind the headboard


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

barsnack said:


> you can cut the sexual tension between Cwoody and Uhan with a knife


my moneys on Uhan being the bitch


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

NoodleArms said:


> my moneys on Uhan being the bitch


well i do need the extra protein


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

barsnack said:


> you can cut the sexual tension between Cwoody and Uhan with a knife


You must be joking, i have [email protected] some ugly birds in my time but this fella is truly something else. Looks like he has just come straight out of the film Elephant man! Don't get me wrong i have nothing against people with physical disfigurements but i just couldnt! Soz uhan but you just need to look in the mirror and you will understand why!


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> yeah i think it is , i wont keep you up all night again m8 i`ll make sure your sis puts a pillow behind the headboard


Thanks for that, your all heart. The ogre side of you is just skin deep i see!


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> You must be joking, i have [email protected] some ugly birds in my time but this fella is truly something else. Looks like he has just come straight out of the film Elephant man! Don't get me wrong i have nothing against people with physical disfigurements but i just couldnt! Soz uhan but you just need to look in the mirror and you will understand why!


im getting the feeling Uhan didnt pick you for the school football team woody


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> You must be joking, i have [email protected] some ugly birds in my time but this fella is truly something else. Looks like he has just come straight out of the film Elephant man! Don't get me wrong i have nothing against people with physical disfigurements but i just couldnt! Soz uhan but you just need to look in the mirror and you will understand why!


your sister thinks im cute in fact cute enough to beg me to smash her back door in and break her hymen .


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> your sister thinks im cute in fact cute enough to beg me to smash her back door in and break her hymen .


That was broken in a long time ago!...she tell you she was a virgin...Sucker!


----------



## Keen (Apr 29, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> I really feel a bit bad giving my secrets away, but hey i can't [email protected] them all can i
> 
> Steps:
> 
> ...


Seriously bro?

The rest is good advice but he aint going to a gay bar.


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> That was broken in a long time ago!...she tell you she was a virgin...Sucker!


i knew you beat me to it !!

i see they made a film with you in it


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

barsnack said:


> im getting the feeling Uhan didnt pick you for the school football team woody


uhan didnt go to school as all the other kids used to call him names like: Meat head or Mongy boy....Many years of being locked away in that garage of his he discovered the internet and his true beauty could flourish! he just has to make sure his mum puts 50p in the meter so he got a bit of electric to see him through the night. I can't understand why he couldn't use the electricy supply from his mums brothel upstairs, guess power tools use a lot of energy!


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

uhan said:


> i knew you beat me to it !!
> 
> i see they made a film with you in it


that cracked me up


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> i knew you beat me to it !!
> 
> i see they made a film with you in it


Boring!

I see they have made one with you in it too:


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> Boring!
> 
> I see they have made one with you in it too:


just for you my hero cwoody


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Keen said:


> Seriously bro?
> 
> The rest is good advice but he aint going to a gay bar.


Yep i am serious, you can exclude that is you like it's up too you. Just be different, stand out and be confident.


----------



## RSHC (Feb 4, 2011)

lol suprisingly this thread is getting better and better:lol: :lol:  there i was thinking it had gone to the dogs!


----------



## Dazza (Aug 7, 2010)




----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

Bruv If u went to any of the Clubs/bars down east london u would get battered for looking like that , theres soho for guys like u lol


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

I love this tune!


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Barbell mafia said:


> Bruv If u went to any of the Clubs/bars down east london u would get battered for looking like that , theres soho for guys like u lol


Looking like what? Good looking...yea jealousy is an ugly thing!


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Let's also clarify i have had sex tonight with a WOMAN! ...I know i know what a right queer i am lol


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> Let's also clarify i have had sex tonight with a MAN! ...I know i know what a right queer i am lol


surely thats a typo ?

i thought you were straight ?


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

lol trust me no one is jealous of u on here!


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> surely thats a typo ?
> 
> i thought you were straight ?


Brilliant!


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

And it seems that ur ego is bigger than your biceps!


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Barbell mafia said:


> lol trust me no one is jealous of u on here!


Another keyboard warrior with no profile picture who is happy to criticize others, well done! :thumb:


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

cant we all just get along


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> Another keyboard warrior with no profile picture who is happy to criticize others, well done! :thumb:


yawn I do have a profile pic u jabroni!


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

Anyway your the guy claiming to be god's gift to women trying to convince us guys to wear makeup so whoes the real "keybaord warrior"? lol!


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Barbell mafia said:


> yawn I do have a profile pic u jabroni!


Yep head down i see...shows your true beauty mate...no need to be rude!

Oh it is not ego it's self confidence. I stand by my beliefs and unless there is a good reason to question them then i will continue to hold them!


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> Yep head down i see...shows your true beauty mate...no need to be rude!
> 
> Oh it is not ego it's self confidence. I stand by my beliefs and unless there is a good reason to question them then i will continue to hold them!


I'm not on a side either way.

But since you have such a gorgeuos girlfriend and that, why don't you take the high road and just not reply?

Again, not picking sides, but this thread is getting tiresome.


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Barbell mafia said:


> Anyway your the guy claiming to be god's gift to women trying to convince us guys to wear makeup so whoes the real "keybaord warrior"? lol!


I don't claim to be anything, i am not perfect but what i lack in other areas i make up by using my brain. I have tried and tested my theory and had sex with a lot of women...i don't need to prove myself to you or anyone for that matter. Really does sound like your jealous mate!


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

JPaycheck said:


> I'm not on a side either way.
> 
> But since you have such a gorgeuos girlfriend and that, why don't you take the high road and just not reply?
> 
> Again, not picking sides, but this thread is getting tiresome.


Well instead why don't you just ignore the post! I like to have a chat and hopefully help people if that is ok with you?


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> I don't claim to be anything, i am not perfect but what i lack in other areas i make up by using my brain. I have tried and tested my theory and had sex with a lot of women...i don't need to prove myself to you or anyone for that matter. Really does sound like your jealous mate!


Lol I'm really not Please get that thought rammed through your thick skull, and ye im looking down admiring my body so thats my so called beauty even tho i'm not a vain CXXX like u , Take some advice ok,

(1) Shove your eyeliner and other makeup up your ass!

(2) Make love with ur girlfriend/boyfriend and no need to boast about it on here this is a bb site not a site for nancyboys!

(3) Shut up and train your jabroni ass in da gym!

(4) Keep ur So called "achievements" to urself cuz noone cares!

enough said now time 4 a protein shake lol


----------



## ba baracuss (Apr 26, 2004)

AlasTTTair said:


> Yeah, w4nking is great!
> 
> No offence mate, but if you're attracting waste of time pussy, maybe you're just waste of time dick. Ever thought of that?


Oh dear, did I touch a nerve by mentioning your pickup classes?

It says an awful lot about you that; a) you actually pay money to get advice on how to talk to women, and B) come across so consistently aggressive and rude on a forum.

But then you're a scouser so I shouldn't expect any different really.


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> Well instead why don't you just ignore the post! I like to have a chat and hopefully help people if that is ok with you?


Oh absolutly, that is perfectly fine with me. I would like to think my personal opinion of yourself bares little hinderance upon any of your actions and or thought processes.

I do however feel that the emotions that you have exhibited in your last post, the one intended for me, has an undertone of anger. I have surmised this from the use of an exclamation mark and the assumptive questioning. I must inform you that your anger is misplaced in this effort as I am of no opinion either way, regarding the initial controversial post. So please assert your anger in another form, and somewhere else. I don't believe relieving anger on a public forum is the wisest move, but if you feel this adundantly nescassary then please carry on, as I have mentioned I hope my personal opinion bares little or no hinderance.

As I am a follower of psychology, I can see the anger expressed roots from a 'nerve' that has been touched upon. I feel this nerve would be my last post. I was ofcourse not insinuating that the girlfriend doesn't exist, I was simple suggesting that informing doubtfull members on a public forum that you have just partook in a sexual activity with a celebrity lookalike is of little consequence to your arguement or position in life.

Please try to take these comments on board and carry on as you wish.

All the best, JP


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> Oh absolutly, that is perfectly fine with me. I would like to think my personal opinion of yourself bares little hinderance upon any of your actions and or thought processes.
> 
> I do however feel that the emotions that you have exhibited in your last post, the one intended for me, has an undertone of anger. I have surmised this from the use of an exclamation mark and the assumptive questioning. I must inform you that your anger is misplaced in this effort as I am of no opinion either way, regarding the initial controversial post. So please assert your anger in another form, and somewhere else. I don't believe relieving anger on a public forum is the wisest move, but if you feel this adundantly nescassary then please carry on, as I have mentioned I hope my personal opinion bares little or no hinderance.
> 
> ...


as much as i think your a raging ****, i do believe you just owned him


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Barbell mafia said:


> Lol I'm really not Please get that thought rammed through your thick skull, and ye im looking down admiring my body so thats my so called beauty even tho i'm not a vain CXXX like u , Take some advice ok,
> 
> (1) Shove your eyeliner and other makeup up your ass!
> 
> ...


You sir are the meat head if you think your body will get you laid! lol

I will say what i like when i like tar...Don't like it then don't read my posts.

Oh and by the way your body is not all that special to be honest, your should try gear!

I will take advice from you when you have actually slept with a girl! until then drink up and shut up misfit!


----------



## Keen (Apr 29, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> Yep i am serious, you can exclude that is you like it's up too you. Just be different, stand out and be confident.


Well respect if it works but I aint risking it.


----------



## rookie112 (Dec 14, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> I will take advice from you when you have actually slept with a girl! until then drink up and shut up misfit!


it annoys me how badly you think your a gods gift to woman, and before you say i havent slept with girls and all that ****, ill let you know i have, but know what.. i dont have to blurt it about on this forum to try and prove myself and then call myself mr confident. NO ONE CARES.


----------



## rookie112 (Dec 14, 2010)

oh btw, these stories make you sound like the johnny stubbs of banging girls


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

rookie112 said:


> it annoys me how badly you think your a gods gift to woman, and before you say i havent slept with girls and all that ****, ill let you know i have, but know what.. i dont have to blurt it about on this forum to try and prove myself and then call myself mr confident. NO ONE CARES.


Again who said i was...read my posts properly before jumping on the bully boy band wagon.

Avatar?..Oh and btw i don't care in slightest what you think either.


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> Again who said i was...read my posts properly before jumping on the bully boy band wagon.
> 
> Avatar?..Oh and btw i don't care in slightest what you think either.


lol ur not exactly an olympian yourself, infact u look like a skinny little knob that dont look like he works out properly!


----------



## rookie112 (Dec 14, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> Again who said i was...read my posts properly before jumping on the bully boy band wagon.
> 
> Avatar?..Oh and btw i don't care in slightest what you think either.


why do i need to prove myself to you by putting a avatar? oh right as i said i dont. annd good night. please dont reply..


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

and yea by they way im natural in that photo lol so tar 4 ur compliments!


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

Barbell mafia said:


> and yea by they way im natural in that photo lol so tar 4 ur compliments!


what photo


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

my main pic that this dick is jealous of!


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

JPaycheck said:


> Oh absolutly, that is perfectly fine with me. I would like to think my personal opinion of yourself bares little hinderance upon any of your actions and or thought processes.
> 
> I do however feel that the emotions that you have exhibited in your last post, the one intended for me, has an undertone of anger. I have surmised this from the use of an exclamation mark and the assumptive questioning. I must inform you that your anger is misplaced in this effort as I am of no opinion either way, regarding the initial controversial post. So please assert your anger in another form, and somewhere else. I don't believe relieving anger on a public forum is the wisest move, but if you feel this adundantly nescassary then please carry on, as I have mentioned I hope my personal opinion bares little or no hinderance.
> 
> ...


This is true in my opinon trust and respect is earnt. You have not qualifed for this yet. I feel sorry if you sense an undercurrent of aggression maybe this more fustration than aggression. What you seem to get from people especially on boards is a pack animal mentality where they try to belittle people for having there own views...this constitutes to nothing more than plain old bullying. If you feel i have confronted you in an aggressive manner then i apologise as that was not my intention.

I am very happy with my life and what i stand for. I am here to try to help people nothing more. If their are bullies who want to play then so be it, they are obvious idiots with not actual logical thought. My sexual exploits are my buisness and i choose to disclose that information as it is my choice...i am honest and up front and that is the way i will always be.

Thanks for explaining yourself, Cwoody.


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

rookie112 said:


> why do i need to prove myself to you by putting a avatar? oh right as i said i dont. annd good night. please dont reply..


Well instead of venting your post out on me why not use your wisdom to help others! If you fancy having a pop at me then lets see how qualifed you are...after all would you take diet advice from a fat person!


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

lol mate ur boring , my missus thinks ur not that great looking and ur full of ****e so why not focus your efforts in getting your skinny little ass in a gym!


----------



## Pictor (Jan 10, 2011)

WTF has this thread turned in to?! Fcuking joke lol


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Barbell mafia said:


> lol mate ur boring , my missus thinks ur not that great looking and ur full of ****e so why not focus your efforts in getting your skinny little ass in a gym!


OK mate thats good...i don't proclaim to be. I sit at 16 stone at the moment on a 5ft 9" frame. How big do i have to get before i am not skinny?


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

Well ur certainly no Mr olympia and def have no right to have a dig at mine when I'm a lot bigger than u!


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

You've lost a stone then while posting in this thread...


----------



## tazzy-lee (Oct 27, 2008)

eezy1 said:


> attracting the opp sex is a natural thing mate. dont ask how its done, just get urself outthere and be urself. u`ll catch someones eye eventually, then take it from there.


 x2


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Barbell mafia said:


> Well ur certainly no Mr olympia and def have no right to have a dig at mine when I'm a lot bigger than u!


Well you certainly don't have a right to judge me and the way i look (Remeber you started it!) and you can't even show your face! Don't give if you are not willing to recieve...bullies do that!


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Ashcrapper said:


> You've lost a stone then while posting in this thread...


Actually i lost 14lbs in the space of a month...17 was my heaviest and now i am 16...slight oversight apologies.


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

im not judging ur apperance only ur actions, and who called me a "misfit" lol


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

And recommending gear usage when I was already getting mistaken as a user!


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Barbell mafia said:


> And recommending gear usage when I was already getting mistaken as a user!


After you insulted me mate! and as you very well know that was more intended as dis rather than a recommendation. i do not endorse people using drugs in any way!


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

your both boring, shut up or il bang your heads together


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

And send us to bed with no tea!


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

or bedtime protein shakes! lol


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Barbell mafia said:


> or bedtime protein shakes! lol


you do mean a drink don't you! Not the other kind of shake! lol


----------



## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

Ash_87 said:


> been single for awhile now, not having much luck. any ideas?


Yeah : do not open a tread about it ! Will be of no help!


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

massiccio said:


> Yeah : do not open a tread about it ! Will be of no help!


Best post of this thread so far.


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> you do mean a drink don't you! Not the other kind of shake! lol


lol not on a monday nite I have bloody work tommorow!


----------



## nobody (Apr 20, 2009)

I used to wear make up, called it camoflage back then tho...


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

Squaddie ye bro?


----------



## Cabin.Fever. (Mar 5, 2011)

I also used to wear make up (camouflage).. To help my hide I'm the bushes across from the local primary..


----------



## CoffeeFiend (Aug 31, 2010)

Cabin.Fever. said:


> I also used to wear make up (camouflage).. To help my hide I'm the bushes across from the local primary..


Review this sentence man how drunk are you :laugh:


----------



## Cabin.Fever. (Mar 5, 2011)

CoffeeFiend said:


> Review this sentence man how drunk are you :laugh:


Drunk on pre-teen pu$$y.

Srs. I'm high.

Very.


----------



## CoffeeFiend (Aug 31, 2010)

Cabin.Fever. said:


> Drunk on pre-teen pu$$y.
> 
> Srs. I'm high.
> 
> Very.


Tsk tsk I've been passing up meow all weekend :laugh:


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

lol


----------



## Cabin.Fever. (Mar 5, 2011)

CoffeeFiend said:


> Tsk tsk I've been passing up meow all weekend :laugh:


Thats no surprise you dodging the pussy


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

I reckon Ash 87 should get a ban for starting this thread


----------



## CoffeeFiend (Aug 31, 2010)

barsnack said:


> I reckon Ash 87 should get a ban for starting this thread


I think the UK-M Specialist Gay Conversion Team: Barsnack, Jpaycheck and Cabin can turn this into a sausage fest within another 10 posts.. we've seen their destructive work before


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

thats a solid team, i think we should get tshirts made with our names on the front and a big cock on the front


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

What the devil. I take a break from balling Will-UK for 30 seconds and I get dragged into something!

Remember JPay, never take your cock out, just leave it in and forget everything else!


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

barsnack said:


> thats a solid team, i think we should get tshirts made with our names on the front and a big cock on the front


I'm down for that, among other things


----------



## will-uk (Apr 12, 2010)

CoffeeFiend said:


> I think the UK-M Specialist Gay Conversion Team: Barsnack, Jpaycheck and Cabin can turn this into a sausage fest within another 10 posts.. we've seen their destructive work before


Well done u bloody idiot!!

Now (meeting girls) is going to turn into a gay conversation, they literally ass raped the (im straight) thread, impossible!!!! 

Now go back to sha**ing your fat housemate that throws out healthy food 



JPaycheck said:


> What the devil. I take a break from balling Will-UK for 30 seconds and I get dragged into something!!


See what you've done!!!!!


----------



## CoffeeFiend (Aug 31, 2010)

will-uk said:


> Well done u bloody idiot!!
> 
> Now (meeting girls) is going to turn into a gay conversation, they literally ass raped the (im straight) thread, impossible!!!!
> 
> ...


 :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Cabin.Fever. (Mar 5, 2011)

Ive said it once and I'll say it again.

Fvcking females is for poofs


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

my girlfriend: 'what would you like me to dress up as, policewoman, nurse, secertary'

Me: 'there too gay, dress up as Superman'

im currently single


----------



## will-uk (Apr 12, 2010)

barsnack said:


> my girlfriend: 'what would you like me to dress up as, policewoman, nurse, secertary'
> 
> Me: 'there too gay, dress up as Superman'
> 
> im currently single


You just made that up didnt you.....


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1yqhq_dolly-parton-9-to-5_music


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

will-uk said:


> You just made that up didnt you.....


eeehhhh no

never let the truth get in the way of story


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1yqhq_dolly-parton-9-to-5_music


nothing like dolly parton to remind you of what a woman looks like


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

I'd rather have a testostorone ****!


----------



## CoffeeFiend (Aug 31, 2010)

Lol you guys have sucessfully set up camp here i think.. (see what i did there!) high five girls :whistling:


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

im feeling hungry now


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

CoffeeFiend said:


> Lol you guys have sucessfully set up camp here i think.. (see what i did there!) high five girls :whistling:


cabin fever is having trouble with another set of idiots setting up camp close to him (pikeys)


----------



## will-uk (Apr 12, 2010)

barsnack said:


> im feeling hungry now


Oh dear god.....

Ash 87 He's going to eat you alive


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

I feel a little sick actually.

I've been holding back this sh1t for about 3 hours.

Got some injections I need to do aswell


----------



## Cabin.Fever. (Mar 5, 2011)

Caverject?


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> I feel a little sick actually.
> 
> I've been holding back this sh1t for about 3 hours.
> 
> Got some injections I need to do aswell


why not take your laptop to the toilet or be a man and **** yourself


----------



## CoffeeFiend (Aug 31, 2010)

will-uk said:


> Oh dear god.....
> 
> Ash 87 He's going to eat you alive


I'm heading off in a minute.. when i check in on this in the morning its going to be brilliant i can already tell lol...


----------



## will-uk (Apr 12, 2010)

JPaycheck said:


> I feel a little sick actually.
> 
> I've been holding back this sh1t for about 3 hours.
> 
> Got some injections I need to do aswell


its always a debate whether to hijack someones thread or not.....

I feel sorry for the poor OP he's asking for pre pubescent advice on how to get laid, and your not even offering up your ass 

poor lad,

PS: To the OP, All i can say is Sh*t happens pal, Just dont get dragged into the cabin for gods sake, Saying that you might enjoy it, Who knows, theres an option for ya


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

I am not sure if I even read the OP's question.

It seems so long ago.

I just enjoy a good hijack.

I mentioned a while back but PAYCHECKS GONE GLOBAL!


----------



## CoffeeFiend (Aug 31, 2010)

will-uk said:


> its always a debate whether to hijack someones thread or not.....
> 
> I feel sorry for the poor OP he's asking for pre pubescent advice on how to get laid, and your not even offering up your ass
> 
> ...


Its pretty bad lol I think the mods are scared of intervening incase Jpay and Cabin beat them back with a tag-team bumming...


----------



## will-uk (Apr 12, 2010)

JPaycheck said:


> I am not sure if I even read the OP's question.
> 
> It seems so long to touch, mmmm wow.
> 
> ...


... :whistling: ....


----------



## SiPhil (Jun 16, 2010)

Greshie said:


> Just for the record some queers don't need eyeliner to pull ........


But you have big black rims lining your eyes.

I'm sure those are not the only big black rims you've had in front of your nose.


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

the OP has probaly saw all the views and comment numbers and thought 'o great, ill get some great advice here'...wrong wrong wrong


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

will-uk said:


> ... :whistling: ....


your making the most of that icon


----------



## will-uk (Apr 12, 2010)

fftopic:

:nono: :nono:



barsnack said:


> your making the most of that icon


Well how else are you going to put it in my mouth:

fftopic:

:nono: :nono:


----------



## CoffeeFiend (Aug 31, 2010)

I'm off now guys... Nighty nighty boys dont let the beddsy bugs bite you're tootsie wootsies now

Not done any acting all week so thats the gayest thing I could think of on the spot :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

im out


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

i dont have any smiley face icons etcthem faces look like smiley e-tabs


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

CoffeeFiend said:


> I'm off now guys... Nighty nighty boys dont let the beddsy bugs bite you're tootsie wootsies now
> 
> Not done any acting all week so thats the gayest thing I could think of on the spot :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
> 
> *im out*


 *OF THE CLOSET*


----------



## will-uk (Apr 12, 2010)

CoffeeFiend said:


> I'm off now guys... Nighty nighty boys dont let the beddsy bugs bite you're tootsie wootsies now
> 
> Not done any acting all week so thats the gayest thing I could think of on the spot :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
> 
> im out


Nite nite sweetie.... Enjoy, Ill see you in an hour, And no im not gay!!! 

I just like your virgin bottom pmsl


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

will-uk said:


> Nite nite sweetie.... Enjoy, Ill see you in an hour, once I've warmed up mr snuggles. And no im not gay, unless I can be the taker, that way I can claim rape!!!
> 
> I just like your virgin male bottom, spread open like a japanese fan, pmsl


 :whistling:


----------



## will-uk (Apr 12, 2010)

JPaycheck said:


> Look Im sick of all of you, I hate you all, your all coming to the cabin with me, even the mods appreciate where im cumming from, i love having sex with men, so leave me alone, please, Otherwise i will be forced to penetrate the front badger on a female, and as we all know that would be wrong, so please please for all of us gays out there STAND PROUD


Wow, Someones touchy...


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

will-uk said:


> Wow, Someones touchy, and by someone, I mean me. I love being touchy, I touch ass, cock basically anything I can. Don't call me touchy mcgee for nuttin'
> 
> I love touching them kiddies too, they call me uncle touchy


----------



## will-uk (Apr 12, 2010)

JPaycheck said:


> I love touching them kiddies too, they call me uncle touch


Bit far pal.....


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

if any of us get a divorce, the wife can just use our post history of evidence of deviant behaviour


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

will-uk said:


> Bit far pal.....


was it a closer relative


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

barsnack said:


> was it a closer relative


snigger snigger, I was just gonna post that!


----------



## will-uk (Apr 12, 2010)

barsnack said:


> was it a closer relative


 :blowme: :wub:


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> snigger snigger, I was just gonna post that!


great (gay) minds think alike


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

will-uk said:


> "Bit far pal....." said the cub scout leader as I inserted 7 inches of rock hard muscle into his retarded sons ass.
> 
> "screw you man, i've got alot of kids to get through, you'll all get to the special childrens final wishes convention but let me have my fun!"


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

Now someone said about going to far?


----------



## will-uk (Apr 12, 2010)

JPaycheck said:


> "Bit far pal....." said the cub scout leader as I inserted 7 inches of rock hard muscle into his retarded sons ass.
> 
> "screw you man, i've got alot of kids to get through, you'll all get to the special childrens final wishes convention but let me have my fun!"


Wow but it was 8 inches actually, did you not do nidges poll pfft....

And really stop it with the kiddie stuff now, Ill lose my missus and my child for even being involved in a thread with that sh*t, plus its sick, go back to the gay topic


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

JPaycheck you said you were in prison, im guessing it has somethng to do with a certain sex offenders list


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

barsnack said:


> JPaycheck you said you were in prison, im guessing it has somethng to do with a certain sex offenders list


rofl! I'm not in there now!

I was!

And surprisingly not....


----------



## will-uk (Apr 12, 2010)

JPaycheck said:


> rofl! I'm not in there now!
> 
> I was!
> 
> And surprisingly not....


FFS, the OP only came for advice


----------



## Cabin.Fever. (Mar 5, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> And surprisingly not....


Son I am disappoint.


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

will-uk said:


> FFS, the OP only came for advice


Fine!

To meet girls, all you do is:

1) Find girl *

2) Talk to girl **

3) Your done ***

*Finding women is rather easy. They can be found in all areas of your daily life be it; the supermarket; the street; the hairdressers; work or social places such as parks.

** Acceptable subjects include but are not limited to: themselves; their plans; how are they doing; the weather

*** By doing the above actions you have actually succeeded in your aim, congratulations.


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

if hes asking for advice of thousands of strangers, then i think hes beyound help....how long were you in prison for, if you dont mind me asking, is that were you learned to use a computer


----------



## Cabin.Fever. (Mar 5, 2011)

Or suck co£k


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

Cabin.Fever. said:


> Or suck co£k


such a defeatous attitude, or just read cwoody (UKM resident love doctors) comments


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

barsnack said:


> if hes asking for advice of thousands of strangers, then i think hes beyound help....how long were you in prison for, if you dont mind me asking, is that were you learned to use a computer


I was in for 12 years, the charlie had us pinned down in the trenches. I remember RC radio-ing for HQ to drop the bomb, charlies gave RC a rifle to the face. I had to visit his family out on that old plantation. Work had dried up and his pa couldn't get the strength to work on the railroads no more, seems 40 years in a chemical plant takes it toll on your lungs.

I took that folded flag up to his doorsteps, it was only after a few knocks did i see his mother stood out in the barn crying with her tear filled eyes buring a hole through my very existence.

Hold on what? Prison or Nam? What we talkin' bout?


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

your not the person the film 'i love you philip morris' is based on


----------



## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

barsnack said:


> your not the person the film 'i love you philip morris' is based on


Never seen it!


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

JPaycheck said:


> Never seen it!


theres a good bumming scene with jim carey and some guy, guess ull run out and get it now


----------



## will-uk (Apr 12, 2010)

barsnack said:


> theres a good bumming scene with jim carey and some guy, guess ull run out and get it now


U do realise that your still hijacking this thread lol


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

will-uk said:


> U do realise that your still hijacking this thread lol


haha naw never noticed, think this thread was damned from the start


----------



## Lorian (Apr 9, 2003)

There's a lot of truth in what cwoody123 has posted.. sure you can take it to an extreme and it becomes laughable but the core reasoning is sound.

It's not my thing, but there's no denying that a lot of girls do find eyeliner attractive on a guy.

Women do also notice shoes..

L


----------



## Lorian (Apr 9, 2003)

I know I've pimped it before.. but just in case some haven't seen it, some of the ideas from this thread are discussed seriously over at http://www.alpha-male.co.uk

It started originally as a sub-forum on UK-M and we split it off to form its own board.

L


----------



## CoffeeFiend (Aug 31, 2010)

Lorian said:


> I know I've pimped it before.. but just in case some haven't seen it, some of the ideas from this thread are discussed seriously over at http://www.alpha-male.co.uk
> 
> It started originally as a sub-forum on UK-M and we split it off to form its own board.
> 
> L


Wow lol is this thing owned by UK-M will there be people we know over there?


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

CoffeeFiend said:


> Wow lol is this thing owned by UK-M will there be people we know over there?


lol at one of the alpha threads just found this .... http://www.alpha-male.co.uk/showthread.php?557-Sex-with-Dolphins ..... http://www.sexwork.com/family/dolphins1.html


----------



## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

Do people really have that much trouble finding girls????? It's easy, just see one you like, go up and get talking, if she says "NO" it doesn't me she wants you dead or that you have to go home and hung yourself for being a failure, it just means she's not interested. There's pleanty of girls out there who will be. Just go out and find one.


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

RACK said:


> Do people really have that much trouble finding girls????? It's easy, just see one you like, go up and get talking, if she says "NO" it doesn't me she wants you dead or that you have to go home and hung yourself for being a failure, it just means she's not interested. There's pleanty of girls out there who will be. Just go out and find one.


True but you do need to prepare, you would never go to a job interview in your track suit bottoms would you. Dress nice and be confident and interesting and don't look desperate...

....Oh and wear eyeliner!


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> lol at one of the alpha threads just found this .... http://www.alpha-male.co.uk/showthread.php?557-Sex-with-Dolphins ..... http://www.sexwork.com/family/dolphins1.html


That is some sick twisted funny ****! lol


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> True but you do need to prepare, you would never go to a job interview in your track suit bottoms would you. Dress nice and be confident and interesting and don't look desperate...
> 
> ....Oh and wear eyeliner!


i think the trick is to find what works if thats guyliner then so be it . woody i see you had a fan last night


----------



## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> That is some sick twisted funny ****! lol


theres me looking for a great white shark turns out theres more chance of being bummed by dolphins lol


----------



## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

Lorian said:


> There's a lot of truth in what cwoody123 has posted.. sure you can take it to an extreme and it becomes laughable but the core reasoning is sound.
> 
> It's not my thing, but there's no denying that a lot of girls do find eyeliner attractive on a guy.
> 
> ...


I realized early that going out barefoot does not increase my chances. Women do notice shoes, sure. And socks too


----------



## lolik (Apr 24, 2010)

massiccio said:


> I realized early that going out barefoot does not increase my chances. Women do notice shoes, sure. And socks too


yeah dont forget to wear new socks which have no holes in them


----------



## Lorian (Apr 9, 2003)

CoffeeFiend said:


> Wow lol is this thing owned by UK-M will there be people we know over there?


Pretty much.. there used to be a sub-forum on UK-M called Alpha Male which covered all kinds of topics, not just women. It got so popular that we split it off and the founding 'group' of guys from UK-M continued it on the new board at http://www.alpha-male.co.uk

Several members then started a seduction training company called Alpha Interactions which carried its own forum.. and so we took alpha-male offline. Once Alpha Interactions ceased trading the whole thing died down for a couple of years.. then after a bit of prompting in the MA we resurrected alpha-male once again.

The whole 'pickup' thing always seemed a bit sleazy on other boards and, as a topic, unfortunately seemed to attract more than it's fair share of people who simply wanted to disrespect and sleep with as many women as possible.

Alpha-Male was (and I guess still is) meant to be a board for the more decent and mature aspects of seduction, success and, well .. being male.

L


----------



## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

massiccio said:


> I realized early that going out barefoot does not increase my chances.


Dont worry though m8, by the time they notice your 'bareback' its all too late...............


----------



## Hera (May 6, 2011)

Wow this thread is long! I'd like to say that I actually like men in eyeliner! If it suits them. Tim Minchin, Johnny Depp and Matt Bellamy spring to mind...and I fancy them. Not everyone's cup of tea mind.

I think that the best advise is to be yourself. If you're a prick you'll probably get an idiot, insecure girl or if you're hitting on a decent girl she'll sense that you're a prick and walk away  and if you're a decent bloke she'll see that. Of course every woman is different, I peronally find charisma most appealing but I think that overall confidence is key


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

uhan said:


> i think the trick is to find what works if thats guyliner then so be it . woody i see you had a fan last night


That's right, it doesn't matter if it is eye liner or you got big holes in your ear or a mohawk just enhance your features and be different from the crowd. I concentrate on my eye's because my mum say's they are beautiful! :thumbup1:


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Lorian said:


> Pretty much.. there used to be a sub-forum on UK-M called Alpha Male which covered all kinds of topics, not just women. It got so popular that we split it off and the founding 'group' of guys from UK-M continued it on the new board at http://www.alpha-male.co.uk
> 
> Several members then started a seduction training company called Alpha Interactions which carried its own forum.. and so we took alpha-male offline. Once Alpha Interactions ceased trading the whole thing died down for a couple of years.. then after a bit of prompting in the MA we resurrected alpha-male once again.
> 
> ...


Be interesting to see other people's perception on the the situation. Will check it out, might bypas the Dolphin sex post though!


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

lolik said:


> yeah dont forget to wear new socks which have no holes in them


Once they see you with your shoes off it's just too late! They have commited by then!


----------



## CoffeeFiend (Aug 31, 2010)

Yeah a man in eyeliner doesnt make him a puffta... some of the hardest guys I know are goths and their caked in make-up, piecings, tattoos and dreadlocks. I will say though you have to wear it all good as a lot of employers dont like it...


----------



## Hera (May 6, 2011)

Just wondering...would the Alpha male forum be of interest to people if it became part of UK-M again? A sort of sub-forum?


----------



## CoffeeFiend (Aug 31, 2010)

Katy said:


> Just wondering...would the Alpha male forum be of interest to people if it became part of UK-M again? A sort of sub-forum?


It looks pretty interesting... I would browse it lol


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Katy said:


> Wow this thread is long! I'd like to say that I actually like men in eyeliner! If it suits them. Tim Minchin, Johnny Depp and Matt Bellamy spring to mind...and I fancy them. Not everyone's cup of tea mind.
> 
> I think that the best advise is to be yourself. If you're a pr**k you'll probably get an idiot, insecure girl or if you're hitting on a decent girl she'll sense that you're a pr**k and walk away  and if you're a decent bloke she'll see that. Of course every woman is different, I peronally find charisma most appealing but I think that overall confidence is key


And how far would you say you could go before confidence and charisma become sleeze.

For instance a nice looking guy was chatting to you and asking you about your job and interests etc... then left and said "see you later i am off to mingle with my mates but have a good night won't you". I see you again later and ask if you if your having a good night etc...and then slip in "hey i apologize if this offends you but i think you have a cracking bottom and i just...well i want to bite it! lol"

Would you consider vulgur or just a confident person making a compliment?


----------



## Hera (May 6, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> And how far would you say you could go before confidence and charisma become sleeze.
> 
> For instance a nice looking guy was chatting to you and asking you about your job and interests etc... then left and said "see you later i am off to mingle with my mates but have a good night won't you". I see you again later and ask if you if your having a good night etc...and then slip in "hey i apologize if this offends you but i think you have a cracking bottom and i just...well i want to bite it! lol"
> 
> Would you consider vulgur or just a confident person making a compliment?


Ah, a line I often hear from my fella! :laugh:

Erm, well, that does depend on attraction. If I found the guy attractive and it was clear that he and I had chemistry then I'd take it as a compliment. That kind of line implies a one night stand though and not an attempt to start something serious....it's rather fast paced.

I think that there is a difference though between confidence and arrogance. Arrogance is a big turn off for me but confidence in oneself is a turn on...and bby confidence I mean someone who knows themself, can be humble and generally content with who they are..not trying to prove anything to themseleves or someone else...not making assumptions. I don't think that a clear line can be drawn between confidence and overconfidence because a lot of that depends on the situation and body language etc...


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

End of the day, if you need to wear make up to impress a girl theres something seriously wrong in your life.

nothing more, nothing less


----------



## Lorian (Apr 9, 2003)

NoodleArms said:


> End of the day, if you need to wear make up to impress a girl theres something seriously wrong in your life.
> 
> nothing more, nothing less


How does that differ from this statement:

End of the day, if you need to inject yourself with steroids to impress a girl theres something seriously wrong in your life.

nothing more, nothing less

.. the end result is still to get noticed.

L


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Katy said:


> Ah, a line I often hear from my fella! :laugh:
> 
> Erm, well, that does depend on attraction. If I found the guy attractive and it was clear that he and I had chemistry then I'd take it as a compliment. That kind of line implies a one night stand though and not an attempt to start something serious....it's rather fast paced.
> 
> I think that there is a difference though between confidence and arrogance. Arrogance is a big turn off for me but confidence in oneself is a turn on...and bby confidence I mean someone who knows themself, can be humble and generally content with who they are..not trying to prove anything to themseleves or someone else...not making assumptions. I don't think that a clear line can be drawn between confidence and overconfidence because a lot of that depends on the situation and body language etc...


Yea i get ya...i suppose it is knowing how to read the situation and signal's correctly. Chemistry is easily sensed and their are tell tale subcontious sign's like holding the gaze, looking to the the floor whilst smiling and playing with hair etc...And there are also pretty clear signs when they are not interested!

I personally would ask them if they are on Facebook which does not indicate anything other than wanting to be friends with a hint of flirting.


----------



## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

NoodleArms said:


> End of the day, if you need to wear make up to impress a girl theres something seriously wrong in your life.
> 
> nothing more, nothing less


Bet you wear deoderant and aftershave and style your hair when you go out...whats the difference you are enhancing yourself for others?


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

cwoody123 said:


> Bet you wear deoderant and aftershave and style your hair when you go out...whats the difference you are enhancing yourself for others?


I style my hair...........

Who am l trying to kid here !!


----------



## lolik (Apr 24, 2010)

Katy said:


> Just wondering...would the Alpha male forum be of interest to people if it became part of UK-M again? A sort of sub-forum?


yeah that would be great


----------



## Hera (May 6, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> End of the day, if you need to wear make up to impress a girl theres something seriously wrong in your life.
> 
> nothing more, nothing less


Don't agree at all. I presume you're on this forum to improve your appearance? If so, for what purpose? Is there something seriously wrong in your life?

IMO a fact of life is that almost everyone wants to be attractive...it's genetics...we're designed to procreate and therefore need to attract. Eyeliner is one appraoch of many to attract a partner. It's just western society that makes out that eyeliner isn't masculine.


----------



## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

Personally I wouldn't wear make up, but rule number 1 of attracting someone is; GET THEIR ATTENTION!

Eyeliner would defo be an icebreaker. It's just not for me


----------



## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

I go out to have a good time not to impress girls, girls dress to impress me so i dont have to wear make up to get attention.

if you getting attention because your wearing guy liner, you maybe wona look at the clubs your going to.


----------



## lolik (Apr 24, 2010)

the amount of slagging cwoody got for mentioning eyeliner in unbelievable


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

lolik said:


> the amount of slagging cwoody got for mentioning eyeliner in unbelievable


and quite right


----------



## RACK (Aug 20, 2007)

NoodleArms said:


> I go out to have a good time not to impress girls, girls dress to impress me so i dont have to wear make up to get attention.
> 
> if you getting attention because your wearing guy liner, you maybe wona look at the clubs your going to.


It's only the same and wanting to get bigger, being bigger gets you more attention. Eyeliner will do this too, be it good or bad, attention is still attention.

I never go out to get girls, I've already got a stunning one. But I the amount of offers I get at a weekend is unreal, it's even worse when I'm out with my gf as other girls think they can tempt me away


----------



## Wardy211436114751 (Jan 24, 2011)

Don't get put down when a girl isn't interested that's my biggest advice especially when out on the town! Chat up 5 girls and atleast 1 will be interested and wanna take it further 

Dating girls I don't have a lot of experience at TBH. I'm 21 came out of a 2 year relationship about 8 months ago and haven't really wanted another g/f since. I find the boring girls are nice smart and faithful/trustworthy. The fun girls are loud, show-offs, generally fit but also love attention and can't be trusted...

ALSO with regards to the eyeliner I've never tried it but am abit of a tart (use sun beds, wear tight t-shirts etc) so I'm interested in this... How much do you need to use and only below the eyes? also what shades, makes or whatever would you recommend? lol


----------



## dtlv (Jul 24, 2009)

I really do think that the best way to attract someone worth attracting is actually not to try to force it in any way - no specific chat up lines, no pre planned strategies... no desperate pestering, no alpha male macho grunting, no 'look how cool I am because I'm stand off-ish' posing, no boasting about achievements... just find that zone where you feel confident and relaxed in who you are and be relaxed in the presence of a beautiful woman... don't be intimidated. Best form of 'chat up', if you want to call it that, is attentiveness and positive body language... but never let attentiveness take away from your own individuality - don't suddenly become a puppy dog to the girl you like - quickest way to lose her respect.


----------



## GetBigOrDieTryn (Jan 23, 2009)

Ash_87 said:


> been single for awhile now, not having much luck. any ideas?


Get yourself in the gym on a regular basis, start feeling good about yourself, this will automatically portray confidence which cant be ignored by our female counterparts.

Generally most women go for the alpha-male, now that's not to say that you got to be hench, but use what you got to your advantage, and make your weaknesses your stengths!


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

Its all about GTL Baby!


----------



## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

What about mascara ?


----------



## Dazza (Aug 7, 2010)

I also take requests


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Barbell mafia said:


> Its all about GTL Baby!


?????


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

gemilky69 said:


> ?????


Dont u watch the Jersey shore?


----------



## lolik (Apr 24, 2010)

gemilky69 said:


> ?????


GTL stands for Gym, Tan, & Laundry.

It was made popular by the cast of Jersey Shore on MTV.

Use: This can be used when leaving a conversation, Saying you have to run errands, or things to do.


----------



## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Barbell mafia said:


> Dont u watch the Jersey shore?


No mate.........

I was going to say l have a life but hey who am l kidding !!


----------



## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

gemilky69 said:


> No mate.........
> 
> I was going to say l have a life but hey who am l kidding !!


Lol same here but It took up only an hour / week good ****!


----------



## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

i think the problem is, people set there standards to high, the type of girl i go for, is the one with a limp, grosely overweight, no morals, barely speak english except to say 'i wont tell' and is generaly a retard. With this type of thinking, you can save £6.99 on some guyliner and use that money to buy your girl (as described before) a Big Mac meal and a face mask


----------



## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

This tread is very popular, no wonder , with all the fine tips.....

Lovely sunny day here , is my day off from the gym, the plan was to spend all evening out.

guess what.....

Went to this nice pub early, back beer garden, nicely frequented

to my upmost surprise , nearly all the guys had eyeliner on. All black , except one , wearing a green nile shadow (the freak!)

I was gobsmacked !

That's not all : in the little time that took me to finish off my pint, most of those guys found female company. Guess ? Cheryl Cole lookalike female company , pouring in from the street.

None paid attention to my bulging pecs or swole biceps. Well , in fact few of the cheryl cole lookalike did, while caming in and checking ... but I got marked off when they quickly realised that I didn't have what really take on a night out nowadays. MY EYES WERE BARENAKED! I could even see them pointig at me , making gestures. I felt like a paria.

I never felt so embarassed since I ripped my trousers wearing no underpants last saturday !

I quickly left and went back home. Walking , because the cue at the taxi ranks was a quartermile long, all those guys wit eyeliners with those Cheryl Cole lookalike.

I was beaten deep in my pride, had some custard and choccies , looking Coronation Streets


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## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

i prefer Kimberly Walsh myself


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## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

massiccio said:


> This tread is very popular, no wonder , with all the fine tips.....
> 
> Lovely sunny day here , is my day off from the gym, the plan was to spend all evening out.
> 
> ...


Ahhh poor you fella! we all can't rely on our big muscles to do the work for us, you have learned this lesson the hard way!...Just imagine what all that sugar has done to your perfectly formed abs!

Join the eye liner brigade! ...also maybe learn to speak english properly and work out how to string a sensible sentence together...being illiterate is a big turn off to women in it's self mate.

Hope i helped! 

Cwoody (AKA the love guru!)


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## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

Someone say the Love Guru?


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## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

Shady45 said:


> Someone say the Love Guru?


That aint me!!!...No eyeliner!


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## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

I just noticed all the Girls are on board with Woody and me, just glad I supported him through this post and didnt just go with the 'haters' xxxx


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## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

switch said:


> I just noticed all the Girls are on board with Woody and me, just glad I supported him through this post and didnt just go with the 'haters' xxxx


Do you also support his ball sack whilst he takes a pi'ss?


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## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

Shady45 said:


> Do you also support his ball sack whilst he takes a pi'ss?


Quite frankly I am shocked at your comments.......


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## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

switch said:


> Quite frankly I am shocked at your comments.......


  < this face voids all shock, UKM rules


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## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

Shady45 said:


> < this face voids all shock, UKM rules


It may do, but I was shocked and I even had to go and straighten up my makeup.


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## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

switch said:


> I just noticed all the Girls are on board with Woody and me, just glad I supported him through this post and didnt just go with the 'haters' xxxx


Appropriate name "Switch"


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## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

cwoody123 said:


> Appropriate name "Switch"


Cough.........................


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## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

switch said:


> It may do, but I was shocked and I even had to go and straighten up my makeup.


apologies, don't tell me you don't enjoy the freshly slapped on look though


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

cwoody123 said:


> Appropriate name "Switch"


short for switch blade


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## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

uhan said:


> short for switch blade


Switch Babe from now on Uhan sweetie


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## MRSTRONG (Apr 18, 2009)

switch said:


> Switch Babe from now on Uhan sweetie


uh sh1t just dropped my soap :whistling:


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## switch (Jan 5, 2011)

uhan said:


> uh sh1t just dropped my soap :whistling:


Fvck all that dropping the soap trick, I am now just painting my toenails while stretching my ham strings..........


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## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

Apparantly theres a rumour going around ukm, that theres an up and coming thread that WON'T be turned into a gay slagging match, if this thread pops up, ignore and protect our gay deviant animal instincts


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## NoodleArms (Apr 17, 2011)

barsnack said:


> Apparantly theres a rumour going around ukm, that theres an up and coming thread that WON'T be turned into a gay slagging match, if this thread pops up, ignore and protect our gay deviant animal instincts


i refer to my previous comment, Everyones gay atleast once in there lifes


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## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

NoodleArms said:


> i refer to my previous comment, Everyones gay atleast once in there lifes


Except Chuck Norris you ignorant swine, take that back before Chuck sends his 'go go gadget roundhouse kick' all the way to Lincoln


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## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> Ahhh poor you fella! we all can't rely on our big muscles to do the work for us, you have learned this lesson the hard way!...Just imagine what all that sugar has done to your perfectly formed abs!
> 
> Join the eye liner brigade! ...also maybe learn to speak english properly and work out how to string a sensible sentence together...being illiterate is a big turn off to women in it's self mate.
> 
> ...


I said that early, I was wearing eyeliner on the early '80's post-punk scene ( not new-dandy! , punx !)

I got my Bananarama lookalike girl, a couple of Bangles ,happy with that. But wasn't the eyeliner itself.

Was the " I dare ! " attitude , coupled with the slutty glances I would give to girls.

At that same time , I was showing off wellies on my motocross bike , to attract girls attention. It worked somehow, indirectly!

Now, I would not do myself a favour . Like earrings or long hair : there is a time for it, and a time for DON'T!

I'm now well past my eyeliner period.


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## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

But.... I can sport a nice mustachio or some wicked sideburns,elaborate undertache+ musketeer goatees, without looking completely out of place.

Can you?


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## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

massiccio said:


> I said that early, I was wearing eyeliner on the early '80's post-punk scene ( not new-dandy! , punx !)
> 
> I got my Bananarama lookalike girl, a couple of Bangles ,happy with that. But wasn't the eyeliner itself.
> 
> ...


Do you take drugs? I think from your ramblings you pulled a Banarama look alike and that is because you had "I dare attitude" and you showed off your wellies on a motorbike. You also would not wear earings or have long hair?


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## dannyh2k10 (Jul 2, 2010)

remember guys..... the best advice i've heard was from a guy selling aftershave in the toilets....

no armani no poonani...

you have to splash for the gash


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## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

massiccio said:


> But.... I can sport a nice mustachio or some wicked sideburns,elaborate undertache+ musketeer goatees, without looking completely out of place.
> 
> Can you?


And no i could not sport a moustache or goatie, not because i would look out of place but more the fact that i would look as if i had zero style sense!


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## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

dannyh2k10 said:


> remember guys..... the best advice i've heard was from a guy selling aftershave in the toilets....
> 
> no armani no poonani...
> 
> you have to splash for the gash


Lol they must all say that!


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## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

Freashen up for the poonani!


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## dannyh2k10 (Jul 2, 2010)

haha got to admit though there prepared 

i think the price of a piece of gum is a bit much though 50 pence!!!


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## Barbell mafia (Jan 28, 2011)

pheromones work!


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## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> And no i could not sport a moustache or goatie, not because i would look out of place but more the fact that i would look as if i had zero style sense!


Taking drugs = long hair & earrings

Been there , done that. I certainily was on drugs when pulling the eyeliner trick.

Voting yourself on your style can be a bit delusional , at times.

Like thinking wearing eyeliner will help with girls , or thinking "that girl " was Cheryl Cole lookalike. There is a fine line demarking what it is and what one think may be !

But dont you worry about it, dear , worry about style & eyeliner, it's your time for it !

At least we fully agree on one point : I'm more suited for facial hair , you are more suited for make-up


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## Raptor (Feb 16, 2010)

Facebook is brilliant for meeting girls, i don't care if anyone says "oh only nerds use the internet for sex"

Well i must be a nerd then, but at the end of the day i have had much sex through Facebook...

Had a gooden today tell me she's up for it, basically she split with her bf like 3 weeks ago so i did the correct

and predatory thing and was like "aw babe, thats bad news if you need anyone to talk to, you know where i am"

Anyway she has been consoling in me a bit, and then today says i don't miss him but i miss the regular sex :/

Young Raptor was like a rat up a drainpipe telling her exactly what i'd do with her, and she's up for it.. win


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## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

Raptor with all the sex you talk about, i have a feeling i could catch an STD just by replying to you


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## Raptor (Feb 16, 2010)

barsnack said:


> Raptor with all the sex you talk about, i have a feeling i could catch an STD just by replying to you


I don't even do it that often really, but when i do i like looking for new sex... thats what gives me the best kicks, and lol i need to get checked out i think, has been a while since i was last tested and i have had quite a bit of sex since


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## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

Raptor said:


> I don't even do it that often really, but when i do i like looking for new sex... thats what gives me the best kicks, and lol i need to get checked out i think, has been a while since i was last tested and i have had quite a bit of sex since


its been along time for me im begining to forget what a woman really looks like naked


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## Raptor (Feb 16, 2010)

barsnack said:


> its been along time for me im begining to forget what a woman really looks like naked


You just have to be confident with your chat up line, i find that "Get in the van, or i will kill you" Never gets a no thanks...

Anyway guys im off to bed, adios


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## massiccio (Nov 17, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> Do you take drugs? I think from your ramblings you pulled a Banarama look alike and that is because you had "I dare attitude" and you showed off your wellies on a motorbike. You also would not wear earings or have long hair?


Never mind.

You would not understand it even if William Shakespeare " the bard " in person tried....


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## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

Raptor said:


> You just have to be confident with your chat up line, i find that *"Get in the van, or i will kill you"* Never gets a no thanks...
> 
> Anyway guys im off to bed, adios


it will have to be 'get in the nissian micra, or ill kill you'...sweet dreams


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## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

massiccio said:


> Taking drugs = long hair & earrings
> 
> Been there , done that. I certainily was on drugs when pulling the eyeliner trick.
> 
> ...


Horses for courses mate. What works for one may not work for another. And styling is about timining and at the moment the eye liner thing is in. Just like the Axel Rose look was in a few decades ago! ...or putting big holes in your ears a few years ago. I am sure it will change in the future and then you adapt yourself, observe popular guys in the pubs and clubs and see how they dress as they must be doing something right!

One thing will always remain and that is the darwian theory of mating. Be strong, confident and look healthy. Anything else is a bonus!

Lol and i do sport facial hair in the form of stubble and sometimes a beard. Look at my Avatar. And no bull**** she did actually look like Cheryl Cole...i have no reason to lie. They all didn't look like Cheryl Cole though i am not proclaiming they did...she was just one of many at the time and to be honest she was one of the worst in bed funny enough.


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