# Left my job without telling anyone. Now what?



## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

Was losing my sanity. Hearing voices and such. Thought everyone was conspiring against me and I lost sight of what was real and what was fake. I guess it was a schizophrenic episode triggered by all the anxiety. Walked out about 4 hours before my shift would end on Friday.

Not been there long. But what exactly do I do now? I've never left a job like this before.

I've been applying for jobs ever since.


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

If you genuinely have suffered schizophrenia releated disorders then first port of call would be to book an appointment with the doctor to get on the relevant medication mate. For your sake, and the people around you.

As for what next, email your resignation with immediate affect and attempt to sign on Job seekers. Do not tell them you quit though as you won't get sh!t, just tell them you were made redundant as was still in your probationary period etc.

PS. Depending on what your Doc says, you could possibly go straight onto claiming ESA and will not have to be doing with going up the dole centre every two weeks to sign on. They reassess your case after 13 weeks and depending on the outcome, they will either end your claim if believe you are fit for work, or they will increase your weekly benefit by almost double if decide you are not fit for work.


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## zasker (Jun 21, 2014)

so you were hearing voices in your head and quit?

i personally would have gone to the doc before quitting but to each his own, like archaic said get on job seekers and to docs to get rid of those voices.


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

Archaic said:


> If you genuinely have suffered schizophrenia releated disorders then first port of call would be to book an appointment with the doctor to get on the relevant medication mate. For your sake, and the people around you.
> 
> As for what next, email your resignation with immediate affect and attempt to sign on Job seekers. Do not tell them you quit though as you won't get sh!t, just tell them you were made redundant as was still in your probationary period etc.


I think it all started because of this benzo I was taking to calm the nerves. I was taking it during my job interview and right up until the end of last week (2 fridays ago) in pretty high doses. Ever since I stopped my anxiety has been sky high, had a panic attack on Monday and had to leave the room but still went back half an hour later, pretty much couldn't speak to anyone all week either, rose my anxiousness up whenever someone would speak to me and then this on Friday were it was unbearable. I sat opposite a girl in subway and she was looking scared, then I heard the sounds of a girl screaming in the radio sounding like she was being tortured or something. My hands were shaking and I had to throw my whole subway away and get out of there asap. Then some guy said hello to me when I walked out calling me a name very little people know me by, I could only see the back of him. Later on in the street a guy said **** you really loudly but I couldn't see who said it. After that I was at the traffic lights and I could've swore a taximan driving by shouted "retard". Then the whole trail back to work I thought people were laughing at me. Scary **** tbh.

I've been supposed to see a mental health doctor for a while now. I just couldn't find the time because of this job. I have told them in the past I have thought I had autism, ADHD and OCD and the guy thought I was just being a hypochondriac. I can get diagnosed high doses of anti depressants anytime I want although the side-effects of these are too bad for me to take (can't sleep, no sex drive, no appetite, what's the point?). This episode was scary but I hope it's from withdrawals and not permanent schizophrenia.

I'm not sure if I can go back on Monday, the job seems ****. Would I still be able to go back or would they turn me away since I walked out?

Signing up for the dole and housing benefit again is just as daunting as going back to work at my terrible, terrible job.


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## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

You should have listened to the voice that said "Buckle down and get some work done you lazy fecker"


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## Kill Kcal (May 11, 2013)

vendettax said:


> I think it all started because of this benzo I was taking to calm the nerves. I was taking it during my job interview and right up until the end of last week (2 fridays ago) in pretty high doses. Ever since I stopped my anxiety has been sky high, had a panic attack on Monday and had to leave the room but still went back half an hour later, pretty much couldn't speak to anyone all week either, rose my anxiousness up whenever someone would speak to me and then this on Friday were it was unbearable. I sat opposite a girl in subway and she was looking scared, then I heard the sounds of a girl screaming in the radio sounding like she was being tortured or something. My hands were shaking and I had to throw my whole subway away and get out of there asap. Then some guy said hello to me when I walked out calling me a name very little people know me by, I could only see the back of him. Later on in the street a guy said **** you really loudly but I couldn't see who said it. After that I was at the traffic lights and I could've swore a taximan driving by shouted "retard". Then the whole trail back to work I thought people were laughing at me. Scary **** tbh.
> 
> I've been supposed to see a mental health doctor for a while now. I just couldn't find the time because of this job. I have told them in the past I have thought I had autism, ADHD and OCD and the guy thought I was just being a hypochondriac. I can get diagnosed high doses of anti depressants anytime I want although the side-effects of these are too bad for me to take (can't sleep, no sex drive, no appetite, what's the point?). This episode was scary but I hope it's from withdrawals and not permanent schizophrenia.
> 
> ...


Jesus ****ing Christ, Doctors mate - now.


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

zasker said:


> so you were hearing voices in your head and quit?
> 
> i personally would have gone to the doc before quitting but to each his own, like archaic said get on job seekers and to docs to get rid of those voices.


I couldn't separate what was real from fake. I wasn't speaking to anyone and they were in groups laughing all the time opposite from me when I came back from work. I assumed they were all conspiring against me. It was only time until I freaked out noticeably. I tried phoning the doctor at about half 5 but they close at 5pm.

Considered the ambulance while outside but thought it wasn't physically serious enough. I just wanted to go into solitude as quickly as possible tbh. Couldn't get any space to myself as I was in the middle of the city.


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

Kill Kcal said:


> Jesus ****ing Christ, Doctors mate - now.


Why do people act like going to the doctors is some easy feat? It's incredibly hard where I'm from. It takes over a week to get an appointment unless it's an emergency. Besides, my registered GP is back at home about 5 hours away from where I'm currently living for work. Everything they say to me makes it seem like they're thinking I'm just a hypochondriac. I don't know why I'd see the doctors for as I'm at no risk of harming others or myself and I don't wanna take the poison they give.


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

vendettax said:


> I think it all started because of this benzo I was taking to calm the nerves. I was taking it during my job interview and right up until the end of last week (2 fridays ago) in pretty high doses. Ever since I stopped my anxiety has been sky high, had a panic attack on Monday and had to leave the room but still went back half an hour later, pretty much couldn't speak to anyone all week either, rose my anxiousness up whenever someone would speak to me and then this on Friday were it was unbearable. I sat opposite a girl in subway and she was looking scared, then I heard the sounds of a girl screaming in the radio sounding like she was being tortured or something. My hands were shaking and I had to throw my whole subway away and get out of there asap. Then some guy said hello to me when I walked out calling me a name very little people know me by, I could only see the back of him. Later on in the street a guy said **** you really loudly but I couldn't see who said it. After that I was at the traffic lights and I could've swore a taximan driving by shouted "retard". Then the whole trail back to work I thought people were laughing at me. Scary **** tbh.
> 
> I've been supposed to see a mental health doctor for a while now. I just couldn't find the time because of this job. I have told them in the past I have thought I had autism, ADHD and OCD and the guy thought I was just being a hypochondriac. I can get diagnosed high doses of anti depressants anytime I want although the side-effects of these are too bad for me to take (can't sleep, no sex drive, no appetite, what's the point?). This episode was scary but I hope it's from withdrawals and not permanent schizophrenia.
> 
> ...


Antidepressants are not going to do much for a person with schizophrenia mate, you need to be on Antipsychotics by the sounds of it. Tell the Doc everything said above and get on the right meds mate, you will either end up hurting yourself, or somebody else eventually otherwise.

You should easily qualify for ESA. You will get paid the same fortnightly amount the dole pays, but you won't have to sign on every other week, or be forced into looking for work. After 13 weeks they will reassess your claim and if they believe you are genuinely unfit for work, they will allow you to stay on ESA and increase your benefit amount by quite a bit.

Although, when you do feel better, you can come off at any point you like and apply for work.


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## Fortunatus (Apr 12, 2013)

you walked out friday and have been applying for jobs ever since.... its saturday afternoon bud?


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

Fortunatus said:


> you walked out friday and have been applying for jobs ever since.... its saturday afternoon bud?


Yeah? I've been applying online like how I got this job. Only takes 5 minutes.



Archaic said:


> Antidepressants are not going to do much for a person with schizophrenia mate, you need to be on Antipsychotics by the sounds of it. Tell the Doc everything said above and get on the right meds mate, you will either end up hurting yourself, or somebody else eventually otherwise.
> 
> You should easily qualify for ESA. You will get paid the same fortnightly amount the dole pays, but you won't have to sign on every other week, or be forced into looking for work. After 13 weeks they will reassess your claim and if they believe you are genuinely unfit for work, they will allow you to stay on ESA and increase your benefit amount by quite a bit.
> 
> Although, when you do feel better, you can come off at any point you like and apply for work.


I feel better right now. I just don't like being in crowded areas. I was at no point during that episode thinking about hurting anyone, just freaked out. Can you not have episodes like this from withdrawals? All this anxiety, panic attacks and schizophrenia directly correlates with me stopping benzos cold turkey.


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## Keen to lean (Aug 14, 2014)

You've made a massive step by confronting how you've been feeling! Seriously it takes a lot to open up and admit this. If it was me I would speak to NHS Direct explain everything and they will be able to get a doctor to call you that same day. Just explain everything you've told us. They will take you seriously just be honest. I'm sure they'll do everythibg they can to get you an appointment asap as this sounds serious. Good luck!


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## BaronSamedii (Aug 29, 2014)

How old are you mate?

I'd advise attempting to do mback to work, give it one more chance

I recently left a job within three days for similar reasons although no where near as extreme with the hearing voices and what not

It upset me massively that I left and didn't stick it out and I got veryndepressed for about a week, pulled my head out of my **** and got a new job luckily

But if I didn't get this new job I'd be in such a bad place right now, having no income destroys your life and your paranoia and anxiety will get worse with no job and being cooped up all day

Depending what kind of job it was maybe they didn't even notice u left ?

Just turn up Monday as normal and if you get asked about it just lie to them.

Any excuse


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## Fortunatus (Apr 12, 2013)

I think you need to get to a doctor's not asking a bunch of steroid users mate ASAP


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

Give these people a ring right now & get some advice. 

It sounds very much like you're having a Psychotic episode...they are not nice & I speak from experience.

http://www.sane.org.uk/what_we_do/support/helpline


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

latblaster said:


> Give these people a ring right now & get some advice.
> 
> It sounds very much like you're having a Psychotic episode...they are not nice & I speak from experience.
> 
> http://www.sane.org.uk/what_we_do/support/helpline


I'm currently fine. The panic episode lasted about 3 hours and me not sure what was real and what was fake lasting about 5-10 minutes. I will definitely save the number though as I had no one to ring so had to call my mum.



BaronSamedii said:


> How old are you mate?
> 
> I'd advise attempting to do mback to work, give it one more chance
> 
> ...


I'm 23. Call centre job. Moved to the city and took the first job I got within the first week of moving (this one).

They did notice I left as my trainer tried to call me a couple of hours after. I never answered. I wonder if they just assume I left early? I was on a training period were the proper work starts this Monday, last Friday was the end of my training period. I did leave the room early on Monday for about an hour after a panic attack (no schizophrenia) and the trainer didn't do anything, he kept looking at me when we were going out for break I told him the anxiety was getting to me and he nodded.

I don't start until 2pm on Monday so I could give him a ring in the morning I suppose to ask? This job is truly terrible though. I haven't talked to anyone all week and now they all go to their own groups while I'm left alone. This will only increase the anxiety while I have to take my first calls at a call centre for around 6 hours straight when I'm not 100 percent sure what the phuck I'm supposed to be doing.

A call centre job with no friends. Truly hell.


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## MF88 (Jul 1, 2012)

You're a f*cking clown leaving a job with nothing lined up.


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## Lotte (Feb 10, 2014)

Benzo withdrawal syndrome is a real "thing", Start reading the article a third of the way down to see the symptoms list (or just go to the wiki page for an easy version  )

http://www.benzo.org.uk/ashpws.htm

All that you have said indicates that you need medical assistance.


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## BaronSamedii (Aug 29, 2014)

vendettax said:


> I'm currently fine. The panic episode lasted about 3 hours and me not sure what was real and what was fake lasting about 5-10 minutes. I will definitely save the number though as I had no one to ring so had to call my mum.
> 
> I'm 23. Call centre job. Moved to the city and took the first job I got within the first week of moving (this one).
> 
> ...


I get you 100%

I quit for the exact same reason

Couldn't fit in within the established groups and I felt like an outsider so I did exactly what you did

Go up and left at the break

They rang my mobile a few times all of which I ignored they then rang the house and left messages again I ignored

I wished I had made more of an effort with people there to make friends but it is very hard when groups are formed and you aren't part of it, really does feel bad

If you can face going back I definitely would try and give it one last go, keep applying for jobs too

If you leave and can't find a new job for months it will be so bad

Go back on Monday or ring up first like you said, give it one last try, things might be different when you go back, people will probably ask why you left which gives opening to start a conversation,

You probably just have an introverted personality, look into it, it will help you understand yourself better


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## Armitage Shanks (Jul 7, 2014)

When you go to the doctors they will [email protected] you off for a few weeks delay with a psychiatrist (NHS). I was lucky as I was equipped with BUPA. I am a long way down the road now, and it has helped.

I am not willing to open up on a forum, but I will speak to you via a pm, if it helps you.


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## zasker (Jun 21, 2014)

MF88 said:


> You're a f*cking clown leaving a job with nothing lined up.


i left my job with no other job lined up. not happy with the job and it didnt work with my plans for the future.

just takes balls to leave full time employment to start over. - also i dont mean this as a jab at you, im just saying.



vendettax said:


> I'm currently fine. The panic episode lasted about 3 hours and me not sure what was real and what was fake lasting about 5-10 minutes. I will definitely save the number though as I had no one to ring so had to call my mum.
> 
> I'm 23. Call centre job. Moved to the city and took the first job I got within the first week of moving (this one).
> 
> ...


TBH speaking from experience, you dont want to work in a call centre. its very clicky as you've already found out, i would never work in one ever again.

what company is it you were working for?


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## Keen to lean (Aug 14, 2014)

I was the same as you, started a call centre job, but I needed it, to give me the hours to volunteer in the sector of work I wanted to progress into a career with. Until you work in a call centre you didn't realise how clicky and isolating it can be, especially if you are in the frame of mind you're in, it is horrendous at times! I personally wouldn't go back because I know exactly what you're going through. It's not just your colleagues but the calls you're trying to take. If you can I'd sign on asap, start volunteering doing what you enjoy and get to the doctors. Once I broke after working there for 18 months, there was no going back!


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## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

vendettax said:


> Why do people act like going to the doctors is some easy feat? It's incredibly hard where I'm from. It takes over a week to get an appointment unless it's an emergency. Besides, my registered GP is back at home about 5 hours away from where I'm currently living for work. Everything they say to me makes it seem like they're thinking I'm just a hypochondriac. I don't know why I'd see the doctors for as I'm at no risk of harming others or myself and I don't wanna take the poison they give.


Any doctors will see you the same day if you ring and say you've had a schizophrenic episode and have had suicidal thoughts, had to do it myself several times.


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## zasker (Jun 21, 2014)

Sigma said:


> Maybe you were right all along. Maybe you are actually the sanest person but just haven't realised it yet. What is 'real' and what is 'fake'?


Next thing we will be unplugging from the matrix.


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## Armitage Shanks (Jul 7, 2014)

sneeky_dave said:


> Any doctors will see you the same day if you ring and say you've had a schizophrenic episode and have had suicidal thoughts, had to do it myself several times.


I am glad that worked for you, but for me I was told several weeks before I could see a consultant. I guess it depends on many factors, location etc...


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

Sigma said:


> Maybe you were right all along. Maybe you are actually the sanest person but just haven't realised it yet. What is 'real' and what is 'fake'?


Cogito Ergo Sum.


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## EpicSquats (Mar 29, 2014)

Sigma said:


> Hey, he hears voice. Might start seeing faces. Maybe they are ghosts trying to tell him something.
> 
> Ask them what they want from you OP.
> 
> As for jobs, don't tell them you schizophrenic. You will not be excused for it. Keep it to yourself. Doctors won't do sh!t except blacklist you as a 'risk'. You're not a risk. They are.


Really? You're going to troll on a thread that a person who has had a schizophrenic episode has made? This must be an all time low for you.


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## Armitage Shanks (Jul 7, 2014)

sneeky_dave said:


> Any doctors will see you the same day if you ring and say you've had a schizophrenic episode and have had suicidal thoughts, had to do it myself several times.


I am glad that worked for you, but for me I was told several weeks before I could see a consultant. I guess it depends on many factors, location etc...


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

banzi said:


> You should have listened to the voice that said "Buckle down and get some work done you lazy fecker"


Not like you to be so compassionate


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

zasker said:


> TBH speaking from experience, you dont want to work in a call centre. its very clicky as you've already found out, i would never work in one ever again.
> 
> what company is it you were working for?


It's concentrix. It's only a temporary contract till January or so and I heard very little will get kept on after that to become permanent. The hours and workdays (includes weekends) are rotated every week and are truly terrible, which sucks because I wanted to take 2 jobs on when I moved to the city to cover my rent and to be able to actually save cash. I have no friends at that job whatsoever. I frequently walked into the training room at the start of my shift with no one saying hello to me then some guy would come in 2 minutes later and they'd be all like "good morning so and so" Embarrassing.



Yohan said:


> When you go to the doctors they will [email protected] you off for a few weeks delay with a psychiatrist (NHS). I was lucky as I was equipped with BUPA. I am a long way down the road now, and it has helped.
> 
> I am not willing to open up on a forum, but I will speak to you via a pm, if it helps you.


I've already went through that with depression. They just gave me meds and I think they offered therapy once but I declined. If I told them about my episode would they skip the psychiatrist since I already seen one and put me on APs do you think? Can a GP do that I wonder?



BaronSamedii said:


> I get you 100%
> 
> I quit for the exact same reason
> 
> ...


I think I definitely do have an introverted personality. Never has it been shown more than at this job though. No one talks to me to the point of weirdness. I don't watch football every week which really phucks me over with making friends since it's all one of the groups talked about. The only other group were older than me and knew each other from a previous call centre job. Another thing that really phucks me over is not smoking. Every single person here goes out for smoke breaks and I don't.

I was thinking of going back since the worst thing that could happen is that I could be fired right? I'm thinking of drinking a few pints before I go for the anxiety and then just saying **** it. I'll be able to get the dole if I get fired at least, which I can't if I quit. With the job there won't be groups allowed to form since we'll all be taking calls properly this time.


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## Lotte (Feb 10, 2014)

Sigma said:


> As for jobs, don't tell them you're schizophrenic. You will not be excused for it. Keep it to yourself. Doctors won't do sh!t except blacklist you as a 'risk'. You're not a risk because you're not violent towards yourself or others. Which is good. They've no right to call you ill just because you hear voices.


If the OP's post is genuine he is in a serious place, recovering from benzo withdrawal syndrome can be a lengthy business (potentially years) with very serious psychological effects.

If he has indeed gone cold turkey on benzo he needs assistance at the soonest possible opportunity.

Now would be a good time to keep your ignorance to yourself Sigma.

http://www.patient.co.uk/health/stopping-benzodiazepines-and-z-drugs


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

Sigma said:


> I'm not trolling. Why is he victimising himself? He left his job so what? I left my job too.
> 
> Telling someone they have "x" or "y" condition doesn't help matters. Telling someone they have depression just makes thing ten times worse and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy sometimes.
> 
> There's nothing with you OP. Did you know there are people out there that communicate with ghost, professionally. Why do think of yourself as having a curse, when it could be a gift?


The voices are all negative though. If they were positive or just random voices then I'd be fine with it.

The depression thing being a self-fulfilling prophecy is definitely true, at least for me. When I was properly depressed I used to be so depressed to the point I liked it and wanted to bask in my depression. Saying there was no point to it all allowed me to be lazy. Not to downplay depression, just the reactions to the diagnosis of it.


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## zasker (Jun 21, 2014)

vendettax said:


> It's concentrix. It's only a temporary contract till January or so and I heard very little will get kept on after that to become permanent. The hours and workdays (includes weekends) are rotated every week and are truly terrible, which sucks because I wanted to take 2 jobs on when I moved to the city to cover my rent and to be able to actually save cash. I have no friends at that job whatsoever. I frequently walked into the training room at the start of my shift with no one saying hello to me then some guy would come in 2 minutes later and they'd be all like "good morning so and so" Embarrassing.


Nothing to be embarrassed about mate, most people in call centres are complete cvnts. Anyways your free from that sh*t now.

Just focus on getting yourself right, that's all that matters at the end of the day.


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

You know what Vendetta? You sound like a decent bloke...ok so you're introverted - doesn't matter.

Don't like Football? Nope, nor me - daft game.

It seems to me that you're going through some difficult times at the moment, but I promise you it won't last forever.

Call Centre jobs...no wonder you're feeling pished off.  There are better things waiting for you. 

Try not to worry/concern yourself too much. But please, do go & see your GP & impress on him that you do need some help.


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

As the others have said mate - go see a doc.


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## EpicSquats (Mar 29, 2014)

I got a job at a call centre once, walked out on the first day at first break. I wasn't having any mental problems, I just realised the job was sh1te.


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## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

Sigma said:


> I'm not trolling. Why is he victimising himself? He left his job so what? I left my job too.
> 
> Telling someone they have "x" or "y" condition doesn't help matters. Telling someone they have depression just makes thing ten times worse and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy sometimes.
> 
> There's nothing wrong with you OP. Did you know there are people out there that communicate with ghosts, professionally? Why do think of yourself as having a curse, when it could be a gift? Look into such a job.


Oh no sigma left his job, how will he fuel the parent funded bmer now......


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## 39005 (Nov 25, 2013)

do an online search and look for your local mental health hospital - go into reception and tell them what has happened and that you are hearing voices - you will probably be seen pretty quick if you play up a bit.

waiting to see an NHS psychiatrist can take a long time unless you are in distress - saying that you are hearing voices is like pushing a red button that says i need to be seen quickly.


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## zasker (Jun 21, 2014)

Sigma said:


> It's true for everyone my friend. It's a natural reaction.
> 
> You may know through personal experience pharmaceuticals can do much more harm than good, directly or indirectly via withdrawal symptoms. Especially when some has told you you're 'ill', one way or another. But hey everyone has to justify their occupation and paychecks, right? If there was no diagnosing 'abnormalities', telling people they 'unusual' then 100'000s would be out of jobs.
> 
> ...


Just thought I'd throw this out there, ghosts don't exist.


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## Lotte (Feb 10, 2014)

Sigma said:


> It's true for everyone my friend. It's a natural reaction.
> 
> You may know through personal experience pharmaceuticals can do much more harm than good, directly or indirectly via withdrawal symptoms. Especially when some has told you you're 'ill', one way or another. But hey everyone has to justify their occupation and paychecks, right? If there was no diagnosing 'abnormalities', telling people they 'unusual' then 100'000s would be out of jobs.
> 
> ...


Happy to take a bollocking from the mods for this.

@Sigma you need to fvck off with your stupid posts when someone is dealing with a real life crisis.


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## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

Sigma said:


> It's true for everyone my friend. It's a natural reaction.
> 
> You may know through personal experience pharmaceuticals can do much more harm than good, directly or indirectly via withdrawal symptoms. Especially when some has told you you're 'ill', one way or another. But hey everyone has to justify their occupation and paychecks, right? If there was no diagnosing 'abnormalities', telling people they 'unusual' then 100'000s would be out of jobs.
> 
> ...


Jesus wept you talk some drivel, your like a bored old man that just rambles on aimlessly in the hope a passerby might decide to listen. I bet your a hoot after a few beers :/


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## Armitage Shanks (Jul 7, 2014)

Sigma said:


> It's true for everyone my friend. It's a natural reaction.
> 
> You may know through personal experience pharmaceuticals can do much more harm than good, directly or indirectly via withdrawal symptoms. Especially when some has told you you're 'ill', one way or another. But hey everyone has to justify their occupation and paychecks, right? If there was no diagnosing 'abnormalities', telling people they 'unusual' then 100'000s would be out of jobs.
> 
> ...


WHAT A [email protected]


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## zasker (Jun 21, 2014)

sneeky_dave said:


> Jesus wept you talk some drivel, your like a bored old man that just rambles on aimlessly in the hope a passerby might decide to listen. I bet your a hoot after a few beers :/


I imagine he is somewhat like this at a party...






Not sure why the video ain't embedding, but you'll get what I mean.


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

@Sigma

You do at times make some really rather good comments...then you make some frankly daft ones.

Stop atttempting to impress people or be contraversial, & be yourself. It'll feel much better being self-validating. Ok?


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## zasker (Jun 21, 2014)

Sigma said:


> That post was not intended for any other than the OP. Nothing I said can be proved wrong.
> 
> I'll let the OP decide whether he can relate to any of this. If he thinks it's rubbish, then I completely respect that.
> 
> ...


If he listens to the advice in your last post, one being ask the voices what they want, he is going to end up worse.

None of us are psychiatric doctors so really we are going off common sense, which is go to the doctor to seek professional help to deal with the issue with the correct approach.


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

Sigma said:


> That post was not intended for any other than the OP. Nothing I said can be proved wrong.
> 
> I'll let the OP decide whether he can relate to any of this. If he thinks it's rubbish, then I completely respect that.
> 
> ...


Please dont OP


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

Sigma said:


> I'm fairly acquainted with certain occult matters.


I doubt it.


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

Another thread fckec by @Sigma, way to go fella


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## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

Please don't listen to that troll cvnt Sigma, OP. I can only guess he lacks attention in real life so likes to talk controversial sh1t on the internet.

As others have said, go see a professional. It may be nothing to be concerned over or ghosts as Sigma thinks (lolololol), but you should find out from somebody that knows what they're talking about.

There's a reason it takes so long to become a psychologist/psychiatrist.


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## zasker (Jun 21, 2014)

latblaster said:


> I doubt it.


I think he ment 'I'm fairly acquainted with certain cult matters.'


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## Mark2021 (Apr 13, 2012)

Well that was clever


----------



## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

Sigma said:


> Come back and talk to me when you've calmed down and look at situation more discerningly rather than jumping on the most popular bandwagon. 500 years ago it is people like you who would burn people for witchcraft or sorcery.
> 
> I am not a troll just because I am inquisitive. I am not a troll because I put my foot down and question why there was rampant racism where it wasn't due in the other thread. I am not a troll here just because I don't believe only people in suits or lab coats have the right to tell us what is right or wrong and that there are very special gifts people have some times that are undermined because it opposes the modern entertainment oriented way of life.
> 
> ...


Referring to one's self as one makes one a cvnt


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## EpicSquats (Mar 29, 2014)

Sigma said:


> Come back and talk to me when you've calmed down and look at situation more discerningly rather than jumping on the most popular bandwagon. 500 years ago it is people like you who would burn people for witchcraft or sorcery.
> 
> I am not a troll just because I am inquisitive. I am not a troll because I put my foot down and question why there was rampant racism where it wasn't due in the other thread. I am not a troll here just because I don't believe only people in suits or lab coats have the right to tell us what is right or wrong and that there are very special gifts people have some times that are undermined because it opposes the modern entertainment oriented way of life.
> 
> ...


I didn't read any of that but I know for a fact it was more self-indulgent bollocks.


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## a.notherguy (Nov 17, 2008)

Sigma said:


> Come back and talk to me when you've calmed down and look at situation more discerningly rather than jumping on the most popular bandwagon. 500 years ago it is people like you who would burn people for witchcraft or sorcery.
> 
> I am not a troll just because I am inquisitive. I am not a troll because I put my foot down and question why there was rampant racism where it wasn't due in the other thread. I am not a troll here just because I don't believe only people in suits or lab coats have the right to tell us what is right or wrong and that there are very special gifts people have some times that are undermined because it opposes the modern entertainment oriented way of life.
> 
> ...


Lmfao, you mention NHS being in the dark ages yet make a diagnosis that it could be ghosts talking to the op........

Your a very odd tool.


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## zasker (Jun 21, 2014)

Sigma said:


> Come back and talk to me when you've calmed down and look at situation more discerningly rather than jumping on the most popular bandwagon. 500 years ago it is people like you who would burn people for witchcraft or sorcery.
> 
> I am not a troll just because I am inquisitive. I am not a troll because I put my foot down and question why there was rampant racism where it wasn't due in the other thread. I am not a troll here just because I don't believe only people in suits or lab coats have the right to tell us what is right or wrong and that there are very special gifts people have some times that are undermined because it opposes the modern entertainment oriented way of life.
> 
> ...


surely putting trust in a trained professional, whether they be interested in the job or the monetary aspect, is better than not going to a professional and seeking 'self help' from herbal/natural sources.

people who go down the self help route end up wearing a tinfoil hat so the satellites cant take their memories.

also, there is truly no herbal or natural medicine, as stuff that was herbal or natural medicine that worked became...

can you guess?

MEDICINE!


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

@Sigma

Please start a new thread on the topic you've posted.

Do not put this kind of stuff in a thread where someone needs conventional advice; the things you posted may have validity, but are not helpful in this context.


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## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

latblaster said:


> @Sigma
> 
> Please start a new thread on the topic you've posted.
> 
> Do not put this kind of stuff in a thread where someone needs conventional advice; the things you posted may have validity, but are not helpful in this context.


Basically this! Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

But telling someone who may or may not have a mental health problem to talk to their voices and not go see a doctor is dangerous. I don't mean this in an offensive way, as it probably is the same for 95% of the forum, but I'm guessing your clueless on mental health in comparison to somebody who is actually trained in that field.


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## stevieboy100 (Oct 30, 2012)

MF88 said:


> You're a f*cking clown leaving a job with nothing lined up.


not the best advice to be honest pal

I had a friend commit suicide because of paranoid schizophrenia


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## IC1 (Aug 1, 2014)

Go and have a chat with a GP. I know that GP's get a bad reputation for handing out medication for anxiety, but that hasn't been my experience at all. Every GP I've spoken to about anxiety has recommended Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and made a point of stating that drugs were an absolute last resort.

Sometimes all we need is an empathetic but impartial person to logically talk through our situation/emotions/behaviours with that can help us to come to our own conclusions from a place of emotional stability and clarity of thought, rather than from an irrational or faulty thinking process.


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## PLauGE (Oct 17, 2010)

vendettax said:


> Why do people act like going to the doctors is some easy feat? It's incredibly hard where I'm from. It takes over a week to get an appointment unless it's an emergency. Besides, my registered GP is back at home about 5 hours away from where I'm currently living for work. Everything they say to me makes it seem like they're thinking I'm just a hypochondriac. I don't know why I'd see the doctors for as I'm at no risk of harming others or myself and I don't wanna take the poison they give.


Not read the whole thread, got up to this reply, and totally agree with you, i suffer with pretty bad depression / anxiety, last xmas something kicked off and it got a hell of a lot worse, told myself as soon as the new year came in i was up the doctors to get this sorted, ive still not been, not sure what im scared of, but the thought of going just makes the anxiety worse tenfold, my nan died near 5 weeks ago, ive lost people before and actually started to think something was wrong with me, but this time it was a whole new level of grief thats hit me, just seem to spend my days drifting in and out of depressive day dreams, i know i need to see a dr, but when, i have no idea, missus did phone them last week for me, and was told they could get me in 2 weeks later so told her not to bother, took a while for me to let her phone to be told that

Really hope you get the help you need mate


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

PLauGE said:


> Not read the whole thread, got up to this reply, and totally agree with you, i suffer with pretty bad depression / anxiety, last xmas something kicked off and it got a hell of a lot worse, told myself as soon as the new year came in i was up the doctors to get this sorted, ive still not been, not sure what im scared of, but the thought of going just makes the anxiety worse tenfold, my nan died near 5 weeks ago, ive lost people before and actually started to think something was wrong with me, but this time it was a whole new level of grief thats hit me, just seem to spend my days drifting in and out of depressive day dreams, i know i need to see a dr, but when, i have no idea, missus did phone them last week for me, and was told they could get me in 2 weeks later so told her not to bother, took a while for me to let her phone to be told that
> 
> Really hope you get the help you need mate


My GP is located in a really rural area too and it takes over a week every single time to get an appointment. If you live in a busy town or a city 2 weeks plus is probably the norm. I would still go and see him tbh. Don't expect much knowledge from him, wait until he refers you to a psychiatrist, they actually know something. They still probably don't know half as much as you do about depression because if you have it you will have looked into it thoroughly and with great interest, it's just some study material for them. Don't expect too much from them.


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

Oh and thanks for all the help guys. I'm going to book a GP appointment on Monday morning and I will phone one of the numbers latblaster or Lotte gave me if I have an emergency episode. This is what I'm sure of.

What I'm not sure about is whether I should go into work again on Monday or go to the dole to sign-on? Both options I hate. I'm applying for jobs but they won't reply until Monday I'm presuming so not sure what to do here. If I quit unexpectedly I'm scared that I won't get any dole money (will I need it? Didn't need it last time as I found a job before my sign-in day last time?). I could go on in that job in Monday and the worst that could happen is that I would be fired and I would get dole money then? Need advice as regards to my job situation tbh. I know I'm definitely going to see a Dr to tell him about my episode.

Oh and Sigma I do always love alternative/contrarian responses. A lot of the things you have said I agree with. I already talked about how I think they prescribe genuine poison. The talking to ghosts stuff and such I'm not so much into. I read everything you wrote though and took it into consideration though so thanks.


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## Lightning (Jun 23, 2014)

banzi said:


> You should have listened to the voice that said "Buckle down and get some work done you lazy fecker"


Kicking a man when he's down shows a lot about your character.


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## Lightning (Jun 23, 2014)

vendettax said:


> Was losing my sanity. Hearing voices and such. Thought everyone was conspiring against me and I lost sight of what was real and what was fake. I guess it was a schizophrenic episode triggered by all the anxiety. Walked out about 4 hours before my shift would end on Friday.
> 
> Not been there long. But what exactly do I do now? I've never left a job like this before.
> 
> I've been applying for jobs ever since.


Bro, don't worry about it. If you don't like your job you don't have to do it.

I walked right out of a job paying 6-figures a few years ago. Sometimes it just doesn't work out, and you hate every second of being in the environment. I went out for a walk one day and decided not to go back to the office that day. A couple weeks later I quit.

It doesn't matter though, it turned out to be OK, I found a new job a little while later, and fast forward to now -- I'm making more money on my own without having to go to work.


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## FlunkyTurtle (Aug 5, 2013)

Right a few thoughts

- telling someone they have something is going to make them think they do, it's like typing into google feeling tired and then telling yourself you have thyroid issue or depression. This is not to say you are not ill, but see the professionals And don't diagnose yourself from people on a forum designed for bodybuilders.

- I'm open to the potential that people can be more susceptive when it comes to viewing the world. We have very limited sense capabilities and there is no reason what so ever that outside of our sight sound feel and smell there isn't a whole other world full of creatures that we can't view right under our noses. Not saying it's full of ghosts but just because you don't see something through out eyes (which is created by our eyes viewing sensory data and our brains creating an image) doesn't mean there isn't anything there. Imagine your eyes are like a very powerful camera, you can use a camera to ignore a certain colour rendering the colour invisible, same principal.

- medicine does have a tendency to be misdiagnosed and sometime it can be other issues at play and medication isn't always the way.

But all that aside I say talk to someone be that a doctor or a help line, but ignore everything else from random people on a forum, we cannot help except for providing opinions.

Best of luck bro


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## Prophecy (Nov 26, 2011)

Yeh I'd say don't go back. If you really don't like it then don't go back. You'll always have people saying that's a stupid idea in this economy but I've done it a couple of times, fallen back on the dole and then got something better.

They don't know what it's like because they're not in your shoes.

Don't go back and get yourself sorted out first.


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## MF88 (Jul 1, 2012)

stevieboy100 said:


> not the best advice to be honest pal
> 
> I had a friend commit suicide because of paranoid schizophrenia


It's not supposed to be advice, it's the truth. Truth hurts.


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

MF88 said:


> It's not supposed to be advice, it's the truth. *Truth hurts*.


No it doesn't. Sometimes it does, other times not.

Try be a little more mature when you see threads like this.


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## BaronSamedii (Aug 29, 2014)

g



vendettax said:


> I think I definitely do have an introverted personality. Never has it been shown more than at this job though. No one talks to me to the point of weirdness. I don't watch football every week which really phucks me over with making friends since it's all one of the groups talked about. The only other group were older than me and knew each other from a previous call centre job. Another thing that really phucks me over is not smoking. Every single person here goes out for smoke breaks and I don't.
> 
> I was thinking of going back since the worst thing that could happen is that I could be fired right? I'm thinking of drinking a few pints before I go for the anxiety and then just saying **** it. I'll be able to get the dole if I get fired at least, which I can't if I quit. With the job there won't be groups allowed to form since we'll all be taking calls properly this time.


Hit the nail on the head

What's the worst that can happen if you go back?

There are only positives from trying again

If you go back you will have a purpose and something to do and you will have money,both extremely important. As you said its a no longer training so its no more group situations so no more being left out, you will be able to get on with your job which maybe you turn out to be really good at? Plus you will be with different people to the ones you were with previously so its a new opportunity to make friends

If you go back realise you actually hate the job and hate the people, then you are free to leave knowing for certain you made the right choice as no job is worth risking your sanity for. but at the minute you're basing your decision on being with a group of people you're no longer going to be with and in a different environment to the one you're actually going to be in

Will you not be full of regret in a months time if you didn't try again and you still haven't found a new job and you're totally broke?

Worst case scenario is they say you can't come back aka you get fired = you can now sign on. JSA will contact your last job when you make a claim to find out why it ended and if they say you quit then you won't get any money

Try again and find out for certain if you like the actual job or not.


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## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

latblaster said:


> No it doesn't. Sometimes it does, other times not.
> 
> Try be a little more mature when you see threads like this.


Or take threads like this with a pinch of salt.

Guys hearing voices taking the time to come on a bodybuilding forum and tell people about it. 

Some people will believe anything.

Got to love the armchair psychiatrists doling out advice.


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## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

banzi said:


> Or take threads like this with a pinch of salt.
> 
> Guys hearing voices taking the time to come on a bodybuilding forum and tell people about it.
> 
> ...


Yep because who would rather talk about such problems anonymously on the internet, rather than to people they know...

If you don't believe it then that's fair, there's plenty of trolling here. But why reply on a sensitive topic, when it's not obvious trolling (if it is).

The majority of advice has been to go see a professional, so the armchair psychiatrists are not doing much harm


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## MF88 (Jul 1, 2012)

latblaster said:


> No it doesn't. Sometimes it does, other times not.
> 
> Try be a little more mature when you see threads like this.


A little more mature? I said he was an idiot for leaving a job without something else lined up. How am I not being mature saying that?


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## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

MF88 said:


> A little more mature? I said he was an idiot for leaving a job without something else lined up. How am I not being mature saying that?


Well from the original post, he had bit of a breakdown, so left a job that was contributing to making him ill.

I get what you're saying, if he just walked out because he was bored then I'd agree. But that's not the case and its come across as kicking somebody whilst they are down.


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## MF88 (Jul 1, 2012)

Shady45 said:


> Well from the original post, he had bit of a breakdown, so left a job that was contributing to making him ill.
> 
> I get what you're saying, if he just walked out because he was bored then I'd agree. But that's not the case and its come across as kicking somebody whilst they are down.


Well that's not what it is at all, and I apologise if it came across that way to the OP.


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## zasker (Jun 21, 2014)

vendettax said:


> Oh and thanks for all the help guys. I'm going to book a GP appointment on Monday morning and I will phone one of the numbers latblaster or Lotte gave me if I have an emergency episode. This is what I'm sure of.
> 
> What I'm not sure about is whether I should go into work again on Monday or go to the dole to sign-on? Both options I hate. I'm applying for jobs but they won't reply until Monday I'm presuming so not sure what to do here. If I quit unexpectedly I'm scared that I won't get any dole money (will I need it? Didn't need it last time as I found a job before my sign-in day last time?). I could go on in that job in Monday and the worst that could happen is that I would be fired and I would get dole money then? Need advice as regards to my job situation tbh. I know I'm definitely going to see a Dr to tell him about my episode.
> 
> Oh and Sigma I do always love alternative/contrarian responses. A lot of the things you have said I agree with. I already talked about how I think they prescribe genuine poison. The talking to ghosts stuff and such I'm not so much into. I read everything you wrote though and took it into consideration though so thanks.


Why not ring in sick on Monday tell them what's happening and your seeing the doc, but on the other hand with you being so new I doubt you'll get sick pay so might as well not go and sign on.

Upto you which you do.


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## 39005 (Nov 25, 2013)

zasker said:


> Why not ring in sick on Monday tell them what's happening and your seeing the doc, but on the other hand with you being so new I doubt you'll get sick pay so might as well not go and sign on.
> 
> Upto you which you do.


this^

if you try and sign on now you will get nothing from walking out on the job

call in sick , you can have 7 days off without a doctors note , call the GP and explain to the secretary what is happening (dont just tell them you want an appointment) - if they cant get you in within 7 days then ask for a covering doctors note until they can see you.

https://www.gov.uk/taking-sick-leave


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## husaberg (May 23, 2013)

i think there's a few more than the op that need help as well though they will never see it themselves

good luck op and please seek help...although i don't understand as i have been lucky enough never to have issues my younger brother was bi polar and eventually killed himself only wish i could have been of more use..anyway don't let it get any worse without at least trying to get an apointment , wait if you have to as you need need help whether it's hard to come by or not


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## Leigh (Jun 13, 2012)

@vendettax



zasker said:


> Why not ring in sick on Monday tell them what's happening and your seeing the doc, but on the other hand with you being so new I doubt you'll get sick pay so might as well not go and sign on


This

While you're unlikely to get sick pay, it may go in your favour if you're laid off rather than seen as walking out of a job.

Regarding getting an appointment with your GP, your episode sounds like an emergency to me. OK you're not in the middle of it right now but it could happen again at any moment especially as you're under stress.

Have a look here too http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/ They may be able to give support with forms, legal advice etc as well as immediate help.

Good luck


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## sneeky_dave (Apr 2, 2013)

aqualung said:


> this^
> 
> if you try and sign on now you will get nothing from walking out on the job
> 
> ...


It will go to a decision maker as to whether he gets any money, if he just lies and say he was sacked in a probationary period he'll get paid no probs. Even if the decision goes against him he will still get paid for a month or 2 so it's always an option.


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

banzi said:


> Or take threads like this with a pinch of salt.
> 
> Guys hearing voices taking the time to come on a bodybuilding forum and tell people about it.
> 
> ...


Nope, just sensible advice from people who have had personal experience.


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## Roid the Lloyd (Jul 8, 2012)

banzi said:


> You should have listened to the voice that said "Buckle down and get some work done you lazy fecker"


You are a pr**k. This does not help. You may think that you're being funny poking fun at this fella but I can tell you now that comments like this are useless.

OP I understand how you are feeling. I suffer with anxiety and mild schizophrenia myself. You need to see your doctor and get referred to a therapist who will prescribe treatment.

Things will get better though and you will feel better but you have to work at it.

All the best mate.


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## Guest (Sep 1, 2014)

Well lets get back to the OP folks.

Lets help the guy.

@Sigma. Help us mate.

I would say go see doctor. Have a diagnosis. Get some medicine


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## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

Roid the Lloyd said:


> You are a pr**k. This does not help. You may think that you're being funny poking fun at this fella but I can tell you now that comments like this are useless.
> 
> OP I understand how you are feeling. I suffer with anxiety and mild schizophrenia myself. You need to see your doctor and get referred to a therapist who will prescribe treatment.
> 
> ...


It got 12 likes so I supose it wasnt that bad.


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## Lightning (Jun 23, 2014)

banzi said:


> It got 12 likes so I supose it wasnt that bad.


What are you an insecure little girl, judging your actions based on how many facebook likes you get?


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## megatron (Apr 21, 2004)

banzi said:


> It got 12 likes so I supose it wasnt that bad.


It's ok. I hit you with the karma bat in the form of negging you into the red zone... Seeing as likes are so important to you.

Let's hope you don't one day suffer mental health and have some uppetty cúnt on the internet poke fun at you.

....................

To the OP. I too walked out of a job that was giving me anxiety a few years ago. It was a tough decision and a worry to be out of work but in the end it was the right one and i'm far happier now.


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

So it's now 10:17... Called a mental health appointment I was supposed to go to by the 20th to see if they would still have me (couldn't arrange since my work schedule wouldn't allow it). Turns out I was discharged since I didn't call before my deadline and I need a referall from a CPN/GP again. Called my registered medical centre to get advice from my GP and turns out my GP isn't in until after lunch (I work 12-9 not 2) and all the other doctors are in appointments. Might get a callback by half 11 by one of them though, although I doubt they would understand my problems like my GP would.

Then I called my training boss and he said we've been trying to get in touch, didn't give me a yes or no answer when I asked should I still come in today. He didn't give me a yes or no answer to that question. Told him about my panic attack and he said he willl call me back in 30 minutes since he has a new training class. Doesn't seem that sympathetic.

Only got 1 hour 35minutes to decide on this ****.


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## megatron (Apr 21, 2004)

Don't stress things mate. I'd not worry about the job - just be honest and say you're not fit for work right now and going to the docs. Then get your GP appointment/referral, focus on yourself my friend, you need to get the help first before you worry about work commitments. You can get other jobs, you only get one brain.


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)

vendettax said:


> I think it all started because of this benzo I was taking to calm the nerves. I was taking it during my job interview and right up until the end of last week (2 fridays ago) in pretty high doses. Ever since I stopped my anxiety has been sky high, had a panic attack on Monday and had to leave the room but still went back half an hour later, pretty much couldn't speak to anyone all week either, rose my anxiousness up whenever someone would speak to me and then this on Friday were it was unbearable. I sat opposite a girl in subway and she was looking scared, then I heard the sounds of a girl screaming in the radio sounding like she was being tortured or something. My hands were shaking and I had to throw my whole subway away and get out of there asap. Then some guy said hello to me when I walked out calling me a name very little people know me by, I could only see the back of him. Later on in the street a guy said **** you really loudly but I couldn't see who said it. After that I was at the traffic lights and I could've swore a taximan driving by shouted "retard". Then the whole trail back to work I thought people were laughing at me. Scary **** tbh.
> 
> I've been supposed to see a mental health doctor for a while now. I just couldn't find the time because of this job. I have told them in the past I have thought I had autism, ADHD and OCD and the guy thought I was just being a hypochondriac. I can get diagnosed high doses of anti depressants anytime I want although the side-effects of these are too bad for me to take (can't sleep, no sex drive, no appetite, what's the point?). This episode was scary but I hope it's from withdrawals and not permanent schizophrenia.
> 
> ...


You did realise before taking benzo that benzo addiction and withdrawal is like 100 times worse than heroine?


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## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

megatron said:


> *It's ok. I hit you with the karma bat in the form of negging you into the red zone*... Seeing as likes are so important to you.
> 
> Let's hope you don't one day suffer mental health and have some uppetty cúnt on the internet poke fun at you.
> 
> ...


Oh no...I might never recover

I just negged you back , so there.


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## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

MF88 said:


> A little more mature? I said he was an idiot for leaving a job without something else lined up. How am I not being mature saying that?


It's easy for people who have never suffered with a mental illness to make statements like this. I don't blame you because you simply can't comprehend what the op is going through. Even if it was explained to you, you wouldn't fully comprehend it. If he was having an episode at work there is absolutely no way he would be able to continue normally. 

I had over 5 years of an anxiety disorder which gave me feelings of detachment, panic attacks, irrational thoughts, depression etc...it can be overcome eventually or treated to reduce the severity of the symptoms.

What I would say to the OP is write everything down how you are feeling, no matter how crazy it sounds. Give your notes to your doctor to read. It's really difficult to explain to a doctor what is going on sometimes.


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## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

Im beginning to wonder if this is a mental health forum and not a bodybuilding forum.

In fact, I may actually be a patient here and just think its about bodybuilding.


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

IGotTekkers said:


> You did realise before taking benzo that benzo addiction and withdrawal is like 100 times worse than heroine?


It's not actually a benzo, although similar. Withdrawals are supposedly much easier. The drug is etizolam.



megatron said:


> Don't stress things mate. I'd not worry about the job - just be honest and say you're not fit for work right now and going to the docs. Then get your GP appointment/referral, focus on yourself my friend, you need to get the help first before you worry about work commitments. You can get other jobs, you only get one brain.


The trainer still hasn't rung me back and it's 51minutes till the start of my shift and it takes me 30 minutes go get to my workplace. No contact from any of the GPs either.

Can't giving up with no notice get you sued or withheld pay? I wonder if my call just today counts as notice? Not being able to find any jobs or going on the dole seems scary to me. I have no doubt the regulations for getting on the ESA are quiet strict too.


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## megatron (Apr 21, 2004)

vendettax said:


> It's not actually a benzo, although similar. Withdrawals are supposedly much easier. The drug is etizolam.
> 
> The trainer still hasn't rung me back and it's 51minutes till the start of my shift and it takes me 30 minutes go get to my workplace. No contact from any of the GPs either.
> 
> Can't giving up with no notice get you sued or withheld pay? I wonder if my call just today counts as notice? Not being able to find any jobs or going on the dole seems scary to me. I have no doubt the regulations for getting on the ESA are quiet strict too.


Mate, it's not important. You are ill and need help - you've told your line manager, if you feel awkward them drop him an email saying you are not fit for work and are going to seek medical advice and will let him know as soon as you know more about the situation. At least then everyone knows what's happening and you have done what you can to let them know.


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

megatron said:


> Don't stress things mate. I'd not worry about the job - just be honest and say you're not fit for work right now and going to the docs. Then get your GP appointment/referral, focus on yourself my friend, you need to get the help first before you worry about work commitments. You can get other jobs, you only get one brain.


Couldn't agree more with this. If you can sort the job out then it's a bonus, but don't let it add on to your list of stuff to worry about at the moment. As Megatron said, there will be loads of other jobs.

Don't worry about any missed appointments, or even try to second guess what your (or another) GP will say/do. Just speak with them at the earliest opportunity and I'm sure they'll sort you out.

Someone close to me had a similar experience to you, it was undoubtfully the most worrying time of my life. Their employer was really understandable, the GP was great... the biggest problem was getting him to realise there was something wrong and it wasn't all real, and then secondly getting him to go to appointments because he didn't really think he needed to. So if you can sort yourself out you're already over halfway home.


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## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

banzi said:


> Im beginning to wonder if this is a mental health forum and not a bodybuilding forum.
> 
> In fact, I may actually be a patient here and just think its about bodybuilding.


Mental illness can affect ANYONE, including you. I would never have thought something like that would happen to me. It did, I came out the other end. Some people don't unfortunately.


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## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

PaulB said:


> Mental illness can affect ANYONE, including you. I would never have thought something like that would happen to me. It did, I came out the other end. Some people don't unfortunately.


At least you can laugh about it now.


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## Andy Dee (Jun 1, 2008)

Im sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time OP and I am sure that the last thing you were thinking of is about the consequences of some job. Depression illnesses tend to make you not think of the things around you like this.

There is nothing worse than having to plough through a job when you're feeling like this. You could also get to the doc and get some financial and professional help just to get you back on your feet hopefully.

I hope everything works out for you pal.


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

Vendetta, have a look at this:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=96003.0

And this:

http://www.benzo.org.uk/support.htm

You'll be ok...


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## BettySwallocks (Aug 1, 2012)

vendettax said:


> It's not actually a benzo, although similar. Withdrawals are supposedly much easier. The drug is etizolam..


When you take drugs like this that aren't prescribed, what do you really expect?

Live by the sword...


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## 39005 (Nov 25, 2013)

i take it you bought the etizolam online? it may not be a true benzo but its just been altered slightly like a legal high to make it a non scheduled drug.

the withdrawels will be the same and you need to explain to a doctor what you have been taking /done .


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

BettySwallocks said:


> When you take drugs like this that aren't prescribed, what do you really expect?
> 
> Live by the sword...


He's lost my sympathy.


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## BettySwallocks (Aug 1, 2012)

saxondale said:


> He's lost my sympathy.


I've always said fair play to people if they want to get smashed or take reccies or make other silly decisions so long as it doesnt affect your ability to be a normal working citizen.

When you walk out of a job and go round like a cry baby because of your own silly choices then you revoke the right to sympathy.

That's my view on it, it's cold but true, there isnt a drug out there that i havnt had a problem with at somepoint, but no one else but myself has pulled me back together.


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## Fortunatus (Apr 12, 2013)

No we should all sympathize him and offer support or else we're sh1theads. people who can't help themselves don't deserve no help to be honest. idiot


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

vendettax said:


> Was losing my sanity. Hearing voices and such. Thought everyone was conspiring against me and I lost sight of what was real and what was fake. I guess it was a schizophrenic episode triggered by all the anxiety. Walked out about 4 hours before my shift would end on Friday.
> 
> Not been there long. But what exactly do I do now? I've never left a job like this before.
> 
> I've been applying for jobs ever since.


I apologise if I'm repeating what others have already said...but it sounds like a psychotic episode. Research has shown that the sooner people seek professional support e.g. emotional, psychological and medical, the better...in every respect; it can reduce the likelihood of future episodes and also help improve your general quality of life. Too many people silently suffer from mental health issues when seeking help can make an incredible difference.

I obviously don't know your situation or anything about you but based on your post alone I wonder if perhaps at the moment it's more important to seek support than find another job. It makes more sense to resolve your current problems so that when you're ready, you can get another job with greater confidence that you're stay well.


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## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

saxondale said:


> He's lost my sympathy.


Read the OPs post history, you will feel even less.


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## Lightning (Jun 23, 2014)

banzi said:


> Read the OPs post history, you will feel even less.


Speaking of post history.. You ever hear the saying about people in glass houses?


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## Sigma (Apr 13, 2014)

saxondale said:


> He's lost my sympathy.


So all your decisions in life have been 100% spot on have they? No. But it's just easier to criticise other peoples, who at least have the courage to admit theirs online, to feel better about your own mistakes.

Having even a little empathy wouldn't hurt you know.


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

Sigma said:


> Having even a little empathy wouldn't hurt you know.


But on the other hand, telling a guy suffering from psychosis that it's ghosts talking to him is ok :rolleye:


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

Sigma said:


> I suggested that to him but did add that I understand and respect if he disregarded my advice, as i'm well aware many people reject such a school of thought unconditionally. Hardly scaremongering was it?


Scaremongering, not a clue what you mean, but dangerous, yes.

If someone had put ideas like that into my mates head when he was suffering with similar problems I'd have fvcking flattened them. Literally up there with the worst advice I've ever seen given.


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## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

2004mark said:


> But on the other hand, telling a guy suffering from psychosis that it's ghosts talking to him is ok :rolleye:


Lol, is that what he said?

And hes castigating others for making jokes

What an ass.

"Jump, its a swimming pool, its not a Tennis court, you will be fine"


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## Sigma (Apr 13, 2014)

2004mark said:


> Scaremongering, not a clue what you mean, but dangerous, yes.
> 
> If someone had put ideas like that into my mates head when he was suffering with similar problems I'd have fvcking flattened them. Literally up there with the worst advice I've ever seen given.


I'm sorry but who the fukc are you or anyone else here for that matter to decide conclusively what qualifies as 'good' advice and what is 'bad'? It's only ever 'good' because you - perosnally choose to believe in a particular viewpoint. Nothing more.

Yeah, because it always best to seek the advice of someone prepared to respond with physical violence to get their point across isn't it? Hmmm, yes, being around violent people is really going to help someone with paranoia of any sort get better. Maybe you're actually more of a danger to your mate than you think, yourself (though, "don't think" seems like more appropriate wording here).

Suddenly you might see you're not quite as reasonable as you assumed you were, yourself, before you start critcising other peoples advice.


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## 2004mark (Oct 26, 2013)

Sigma said:


> I'm sorry but who the fukc are you or anyone else here for that matter to decide conclusively what qualifies as 'good' advice and what is 'bad'? It's only ever 'good' because you - perosnally choose to believe in a particular viewpoint. Nothing more.
> 
> Yeah, because it always best to seek the advice of someone prepared to respond with physical violence to get their point across isn't it? Hmmm, yes, being around violent people is really going to help someone with paranoia of any sort get better. Maybe you're actually more of a danger to your mate than you think, yourself (though, "don't think" seems like more appropriate wording here).
> 
> Suddenly you might see you're not quite as reasonable as you assumed you were, yourself, before you start critcising other peoples advice.


It's not about being a violent or reasonable person... it's about protecting vulnerable loved ones from harmful codswallop. I mean talking to ghosts... can't even believe I'm entertaining this conversation haha

Anyway, no violence was needed as luckily he didn't meet any loons, he sought professional medical advice and it's now all firmly in the past.


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

Sigma said:


> So all your decisions in life have been 100% spot on have they? No. But it's just easier to criticise other peoples, who at least have the courage to admit theirs online, to feel better about your own mistakes.
> 
> Having even a little empathy wouldn't hurt you know.


Silly boy.

Edit - forgot we're supposed to be ignoring him en mass. Sorry guys


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## Sigma (Apr 13, 2014)

banzi said:


> Lol, is that what he said?
> 
> And hes castigating others for making jokes
> 
> ...


That's right, slowly move the spotlight away from yourself for your snidey, cnutish remarks  At least I was actually trying to help. What the fukc were you doing? Honestly, if you've nothing better to do than sign in and take the **** out of people looking for advice then just go watch some more porn or something.


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## Sigma (Apr 13, 2014)

2004mark said:


> I mean talking to ghosts... can't even believe I'm entertaining this conversation haha


Well don't then. You started it. I was just responding to Saxondale's contempt for the guy.

As for the rest of your post. I'll to take your word for it. What more can I say? Though i'm happy for him if it actually has sorted the matter.


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

Sigma said:


> Well don't then. You started it. I was just responding to Saxondale's contempt for the guy.
> 
> As for the rest of your post. I'll to take your word for it. What more can I say? Though i'm happy for him if it's sorted his actual problem.


Fck off contempt for the guy, only person I have contempt for you.


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## banzi (Mar 9, 2014)

Sigma said:


> That's right, slowly move the spotlight away from yourself for your snidey, cnutish remarks  At least I was actually trying to help. What the fukc were you doing? Honestly, if you've nothing better to do than sign in and take the **** out of people looking for advice then just go watch some more porn or something.


Ghosts

hahahahaha

What an idiot,

I dont mind the spotlight mate.

Trying to be helpful telling him spirits are talking to him,.

Are you sure youre not a psychiatrist

beat it daisy.


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

Dunno if anyone wants an update but I got a call from my training manager on Tuesday while I was registering with my GP. I met up with him later on that day and he seemed reasonably understanding about my panic attacks. He requested a sicknote from my GP for the AWOL on Friday. I got the note and I've been working since. The job is the definition of hell, 100x worse than training but at least there's no time to form cliques so I can't feel left out really. This weekend will be spent applying for every job under the sun.

Thanks for all the help btw! I've also got my GP to set-up an appointment with people who deal with mental health to see about my episode(s).


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## Bora (Dec 27, 2011)

does voices in your head say paint my kitchen by any chance?


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## SK50 (Apr 7, 2013)

vendettax said:


> I think it all started because of this benzo I was taking to calm the nerves. I was taking it during my job interview and right up until the end of last week (2 fridays ago) in pretty high doses. Ever since I stopped my anxiety has been sky high, had a panic attack on Monday and had to leave the room but still went back half an hour later, pretty much couldn't speak to anyone all week either, rose my anxiousness up whenever someone would speak to me and then this on Friday were it was unbearable. I sat opposite a girl in subway and she was looking scared, then I heard the sounds of a girl screaming in the radio sounding like she was being tortured or something. My hands were shaking and I had to throw my whole subway away and get out of there asap. Then some guy said hello to me when I walked out calling me a name very little people know me by, I could only see the back of him. Later on in the street a guy said **** you really loudly but I couldn't see who said it. After that I was at the traffic lights and I could've swore a taximan driving by shouted "retard". Then the whole trail back to work I thought people were laughing at me. Scary **** tbh.
> 
> I've been supposed to see a mental health doctor for a while now. I just couldn't find the time because of this job. I have told them in the past I have thought I had autism, ADHD and OCD and the guy thought I was just being a hypochondriac. I can get diagnosed high doses of anti depressants anytime I want although the side-effects of these are too bad for me to take (can't sleep, no sex drive, no appetite, what's the point?). This episode was scary but I hope it's from withdrawals and not permanent schizophrenia.
> 
> ...


Haven't read the whole thread but,

You were taking benzos on the job. That is almost exactly the same MOA as drinking on the job. You would have got sacked anyway at some point.


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

MOA?


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## IGotTekkers (Jun 6, 2012)




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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

Forgot to mention I was put on probation for the panic attack I had even though I gave in a sicknote.

Had a few panic attacks just last week inside the calling room last week (twice). First time I was calmed down by the manager since I could feel it building and she could see I wasn't visibly alright. The second time I went manic full manic so a girl suggested I go home for sick leave. I said I wasn't physically sick, but she said sickness isn't just physical.

The first panic attack last week I was recorded as being off calls when talking to the manager for 38 minutes about my panic attacks, I asked to go home, she said she can't let me do that; she mustn't have told anyone I asked this as this was recorded by another manager as me taking no calls for nearly 40minutes so will be recorded on my review for my formal probation meeting this week (where I could lose my job). Told the manager and he said it was my responsibility anyway (won't see the manager who calmed me until this week again to argue about this)

Looks like they just want me laid off tbh. I've not had a single bad call yet though (taken about a 1000 now), which surprised me, all the customer's have been extremely friendly.

A lot of lies were said by managers that will make me rage if I typed them atm. One example they said is that our company doesn't deal with trade unions and I wouldn't be a representative invwith me to the meeting (only a colleague). Now I just read the bottom of the pdf file I received for my meeting and it says this:



> "Workers have a right to be accompanied by a colleague or trade union rep where they are required. The companion Can be:
> 
> A colleague
> 
> ...


This was said by one manager (same one who brushed off the other manager calming me down) so no doubt he'll deny saying this when the meeting comes around and I mention it in front of the other managers.

I'm thinking to call the CAB and ask for advice tomorrow.

*CLIFFS: NEVER WORK IN A CALL CENTRE*

http://www.natwestmentor.co.uk/news/articles/2012-06/callcentreworkerssuffering.aspx


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## Neuroscience (Sep 9, 2014)

sorry, i skipped some pages. are you on tren currently? how long were you on a benzodiazepine and which compound at what dose?

have you had a schizophrenic episode before?

if you have one again, try to go to the ER,they have to take you in and give you meds, in this case antipsychotics with benzodiazepines in the beginnning. benzos have abad reputation bu can easily be taken up to 8 weeks without withdrawal symptoms. are you on an antipsychotic now?


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

Neuroscience said:


> sorry, i skipped some pages. are you on tren currently? how long were you on a benzodiazepine and which compound at what dose?
> 
> have you had a schizophrenic episode before?
> 
> if you have one again, try to go to the ER,they have to take you in and give you meds, in this case antipsychotics with benzodiazepines in the beginnning. benzos have abad reputation bu can easily be taken up to 8 weeks without withdrawal symptoms. are you on an antipsychotic now?


Never had a schizophrenic-tier episode before that. Think it's the stress at this stage. Been off etizolam way too long for me to be saying it's withdrawals from 3 weeks of usage.

I will definitely be going to be phoning an emergency number if it happened like it happened when I first experienced schizophrenic symptoms.

I was on etizolam for three weeks. I stopped using them on Monday the 25th August. Not used them since. Usually takes years of using for serious withdrawals to be had and thats for benzos (worse than etizolam). I'm not on an AP since I'm not sure if I'm schizophrenic, it's can be known to hear things and such when you're under extreme stress and depression. It's so hard to diagnose these things.

No I'm not on Tren. I only did one steroid cycle so far and that was years ago (basic test e with d bol). Planning more cycles in the distant future but wouldn't wanna mess with tren with my current mental issues.


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

Just to add. I made a complete fool out of myself while manic, I said a lot of sarcastic, angry, mean things to people (who aren't the nicest people but still). I never usually act so aggressive. I've had a different type of panic attack altogether this time.

The thing is I'm not fully done needing help on the calls either too and if I go back I'll have to ask these people for help at times. LOL


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

To summaries - took some drugs, had a bad reaction, cant work, wants compo from his temp part time job?

Sound fair.


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

saxondale said:


> To summaries - took some drugs, had a bad reaction, cant work, wants compo from his temp part time job?
> 
> Sound fair.


To summarize - *Most of what you've typed is wrong* - I've have mental problems for years hence me saying I can get ADs anytime I want. It was passed down from my mother. I took etizolam (weak anti-anxiety drug) to calm my nerves the first 3 weeks of starting a job in a new city. I've been over 3 weeks "clean" of that, or any other substance whatsoever since I don't take drugs recreationally really, I still have panic attacks. I think it's the stress. The doctor didn't think the drugs were the issue as long as I stayed clear of using them for proper long-term periods.

What are you on about compo? No I'm not looking for compensation for anything if that's what you mean. Not sure where you got that from?

Also do you not work? Or how do you cycle clen like you typed you do in your post history?


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## SickCurrent (Sep 19, 2005)

zasker said:


> so you were hearing voices in your head and quit?
> 
> i personally would have gone to the doc before quitting but to each his own, like archaic said get on job seekers and to docs to get rid of those voices.


^^^This they would have had to keep paying you while you suffered this terrible mental episode bro.


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## SickCurrent (Sep 19, 2005)

vendettax said:


> , I said a lot of sarcastic, angry, mean things to people (who aren't the nicest people but still). I never usually act so aggressive.


I do this all day every day irl bro. Don't sweat it lol


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## DeskSitter (Jan 28, 2013)

vendettax said:


> To summarize - *Most of what you've typed is wrong* - I've have mental problems for years hence me saying I can get ADs anytime I want. It was passed down from my mother. I took etizolam (weak anti-anxiety drug) to calm my nerves the first 3 weeks of starting a job in a new city. I've been over 3 weeks "clean" of that, or any other substance whatsoever since I don't take drugs recreationally really, I still have panic attacks. I think it's the stress. The doctor didn't think the drugs were the issue as long as I stayed clear of using them for proper long-term periods.
> 
> What are you on about compo? No I'm not looking for compensation for anything if that's what you mean. Not sure where you got that from?
> 
> Also do you not work? Or how do you cycle clen like you typed you do in your post history?


Ignore saxondale mate he's got his own problems, and there are many


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## Natalie (Jul 22, 2014)

saxondale said:


> To summaries - took some drugs, had a bad reaction, cant work, wants compo from his temp part time job?
> 
> Sound fair.


Mental illness can be deep seeded in any of us from birth and any event could cause it to come to the surface. What grips me, and I'm not directly targeting it towards you, is that we wouldn't mock someone with a physical illness because we as a race as programmed to have to 'see' it to believe it. With mental illness, it is still a physical condition - the chemicals in the brain are altered or imbalanced incorrectly, albeit one we can't see and therefore we feel we can dismiss it. I'm not saying everyone who says they have an illness is being complete honest but I think the best method is support. However, on the other side of the coin, if someone ill doesn't help themselves, then they can't expect others to help them either


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## armor king (Sep 29, 2013)

Deffently go to citiziens advice there good there


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## Fishheadsoup (Apr 15, 2013)

Natalie said:


> Mental illness can be deep seeded in any of us from birth and any event could cause it to come to the surface. What grips me, and I'm not directly targeting it towards you, is that we wouldn't mock someone with a physical illness because we as a race as programmed to have to 'see' it to believe it. With mental illness, it is still a physical condition - the chemicals in the brain are altered or imbalanced incorrectly, albeit one we can't see and therefore we feel we can dismiss it. I'm not saying everyone who says they have an illness is being complete honest but I think the best method is support. However, on the other side of the coin, if someone ill doesn't help themselves, then they can't expect others to help them either


The other issue is as well, in today's society. The moment you tell someone you have anything related to a mental health issue and they look at you like some freak who might go out and murder people for fun. There is some real stigma around mental health issues... I got diagnosed with Bi-Polar when I was 11, yet the whole side of my wife's family dosnt know, as I asked her not to tell them. Purely from people in the past thinking I was some kind of nutter or freak when they found out.

True though the best option for mental health is support


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## Natalie (Jul 22, 2014)

Fishheadsoup said:


> The other issue is as well, in today's society. The moment you tell someone you have anything related to a mental health issue and they look at you like some freak who might go out and murder people for fun. There is some real stigma around mental health issues... I got diagnosed with Bi-Polar when I was 11, yet the whole side of my wife's family dosnt know, as I asked her not to tell them. Purely from people in the past thinking I was some kind of nutter or freak when they found out.
> 
> True though the best option for mental health is support


i agree although I do feel that very very slowly peoples attitudes are changing. I grew up around mental illness and as an adult am still around others with ptsd and depression and I like to think I understand it and respect it but I think a lot of people are ignorant to it so there is such a long way to go.


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

Natalie said:


> i agree although I do feel that very very slowly peoples attitudes are changing. I grew up around mental illness and as an adult am still around others with ptsd and depression and I like to think I understand it and respect it but I think a lot of people are ignorant to it so there is such a long way to go.


I used to work for Rethink and an important part of their ethos was to dispel stigma. I had such tremendous respect for the people I supported because they embraced this and on a daily basis did not hide their difficulties. Some even participated in protests. Despite this strength though, a large part of my job was to support them when, despite their efforts, they were faced with stigma again and again; being judged, insulted and discriminated against. Attitudes are slowly being changed though I think e.g. recent tv ads shedding light on the issue. The change is slow though!

I find it quite unbelievable just how bad the ignorance and stigma is because I know from personal experience just how prevalent mental health problems are...I've had them, half my family have had them, friends have/have had them...to me it's part of normal human life, but because of the stigma, most people try to hide it and so it's prevalence is hidden.


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## Natalie (Jul 22, 2014)

Hera said:


> I used to work for Rethink and an important part of their ethos was to dispel stigma. I had such tremendous respect for the people I supported because they embraced this and on a daily basis did not hide their difficulties. Some even participated in protests. Despite this strength though, a large part of my job was to support them when, despite their efforts, they were faced with stigma again and again; being judged, insulted and discriminated against. Attitudes are slowly being changed though I think e.g. recent tv ads shedding light on the issue. The change is slow though!
> 
> I find it quite unbelievable just how bad the ignorance and stigma is because I know from personal experience just how prevalent mental health problems are...I've had them, half my family have had them, friends have/have had them...to me it's part of normal human life, but because of the stigma, most people try to hide it and so it's prevalence is hidden.


The fact that most of us can identify family / friends who have been affected shows how much of the population it affects, in varying degrees. That sounds like such a rewarding job, I'm guess it would put a lot of things into perspective.


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## Fortunatus (Apr 12, 2013)

I don't blame them for trying to get rid of you, you don't seem to deal with your problems in a appropriate manor. they are running a business and having someone walking out being rude and asking to go home isn't their problem i'd give you the boot too


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

Natalie said:


> The fact that most of us can identify family / friends who have been affected shows how much of the population it affects, in varying degrees. That sounds like such a rewarding job, I'm guess it would put a lot of things into perspective.


I have incredibly fond memories of that job  ...it was an incredibly supportive community of staff, clients and their friends and family. I met some very inspirational people  Wokring in that job definitly put things into perspective!


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## Neuroscience (Sep 9, 2014)

people need to start treatin real enatl illness (not mildly depresssive episodes or such) as illnesses of an organ just like diabetes or thyroid dysfunction. the brain doesn not function in the way it should chemically and therefore produces the altered perception. it has nothing to dow with being mad or strange or whatever. in that moment, another reality is experienced and it is just as real to them as it is to the ones who cannot see it.

therefore it is a big problem in mental health that the dr. put themselves somewhat above th aptient or differentiate between sick and healthy.

i have a neurochemical-immunological condition, cause unknow. some days i can barealy get out of bed. my dad only things i lack drive and is worried i will kill mxyself, but i am neither unhappy nor without drive, those days, my brain is just not functioning as i would like it to.


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## 39005 (Nov 25, 2013)

mental health work centre like rethink/mind/autism UK etc are more like family businesses and are usually very nice places to work.

mental health is going backwards - not forwards in this country at the moment, budgets have been slashed and fundings cut etc (funding has been cut to all external groups by the CCG in my area) - mental health budgets are abysmal , usually a low single figure percentages of the overall budget of any one CCG - even though the most common problems GP's face are MH ones.

stimga is a vicious circle the same as a panic attack , the person with a mental health problem does not want friends and family to know what major problems they are having so withhold them , the very act of which usually causes the person to become more unwell and just adds another problem to the list for them.

*stigma will never be eradicated because it is a learned response - it would mean educating the whole population what a psychological anchor is.


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

aqualung said:


> mental health work centre like rethink/mind/autism UK etc are more like family businesses and are usually very nice places to work.
> 
> mental health is going backwards - not forwards in this country at the moment, budgets have been slashed and fundings cut etc (funding has been cut to all external groups by the CCG in my area) - mental health budgets are abysmal , usually a low single figure percentages of the overall budget of any one CCG - even though the most common problems GP's face are MH ones.
> 
> stimga is a vicious circle the same as a panic attack , the person with a mental health problem does not want friends and family to know what major problems they are having so withhold them , the very act of which usually causes the person to become more unwell and just adds another problem to the list for them.


I can't agree with your statement about it going backwards...perhaps in some ways it is..financially maybe, but with regards to treatment in hospitals and community services it is sooo much better than it was. Yes, it has a long way to go but it is continually being improved IMO with the implementation of multidisciplinary teams, improved medication, increased access to emotional and psychological support, more humane treatment! client/patient involvement in their treatment etc. I think a lot of credit needs to be given to the people 'on the ground'; as opposed to focus on the political issues regarding funding.


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## 39005 (Nov 25, 2013)

i do work with the people on the ground (im talking trust/ccg services ) on a regular basis - a large proportion of them think its going backwards as well.

yes they deserve a hell of lot of credit - for the simple reason they make do with what have have and try to improve their services even though their budgets are cut each year and services removed completely , but this also means they have to streamline services.

multidisciplinary teams are the trusts simply retraining existing people so they can remove others , external community services in my area do not exist any more - as i said , all funding has been cut to external groups , there are no day centres or anything else any more unless they have gotten funding elsewhere.

unfortunately you have to focus on the political issue regarding funding , if the money is not there then services get removed or shut down and people lose jobs.


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

aqualung said:


> i do work with the people on the ground (im talking trust/ccg services ) on a regular basis - a large proportion of them think its going backwards as well.
> 
> yes they deserve a hell of lot of credit - for the simple reason they make do with what have have and try to improve their services even though their budgets are cut each year and services removed completely , but this also means they have to streamline services.
> 
> ...


I felt defensive of the people I've worked with as they are the people providing the services...and they do an amazing job.

Multidisciplinary teams cannot develop through just retraining...you can't simply retrain someone to be a clinical psychologist. Whilst their may be a financial influence, the service provision motivation is to provide holistic support. A pretty new and enlightened approach IMO.

I think we're fortunate that there are charities who try their best to pick up what the funding cuts take away.

I'm all for criticising funding cuts but not the services and the people providing it.


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## 39005 (Nov 25, 2013)

as in any job there are good and bad people , and ive met some bad MH workers in my time -both in primary and secondary intervention.

like you i defend the good people but i will also point out the bad ones.

the way they are trying to 'redevelop' the services through multidisciplinary teams and using a holistic approach is nothing new and they 'redevelop' the service in cycles about every 6-10 yrs ( this is a quote from a senior clinical lead).

i agree you simply can just retrain someone to be a clinical psychologist - however you can tell the clinical psychologist they are now doing OT runs x times per week as well as what they normally do 

*the charitable organisations such as rethink / mind do a great job i agree , unfortunately the CCG commissioners know this and more strain is put on them- they decommission services and expect organisations such as them to pick up the void in the service.


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

aqualung said:


> as in any job there are good and bad people , and ive met some bad MH workers in my time -both in primary and secondary intervention.
> 
> like you i defend the good people but i will also point out the bad ones.
> 
> ...


Yep, agree with that.

I think we have different views on 'multidisciplinary'...whilst the concept may be misused/misinterpreted (as it doesn't mean 'do more jobs') I think it's key to holistic support...it's a no brainer tbh that used to be overlooked.

Yep, there are indeed some 'bad ones' in the system too.


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## 39005 (Nov 25, 2013)

Yup they just overcomplicate things and try to baffle people with bull**** 

Take ' multidisciplinary' for example , all it means is to think outside the box ,something most of know and try to do anyway, yet they treat it as a new concept and think they have reinvented the wheel. 

Any fixed system can be improved upon, personally i think thats common sense.


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

aqualung said:


> Yup they just overcomplicate things and try to baffle people with bull****
> 
> Take ' multidisciplinary' for example , all it means is to think outside the box ,something most of know and try to do anyway, yet they treat it as a new concept and think they have reinvented the wheel.
> 
> Any fixed system can be improved upon, personally i think thats common sense.


That's not my understanding of 'multidisciplinary'. I understand it as a team of people who specialise in different areas/disciplines of a persons support needs e.g. psychiatrist, clinical psychologist, community psychiatric nurse, support worker, STR worker, counsellor, OT etc. Pooling all those skills into a team who can support a person in many important areas of their life.


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

vendettax said:


> To summarize - *Most of what you've typed is wrong* - I've have mental problems for years hence me saying I can get ADs anytime I want. It was passed down from my mother. I took etizolam (weak anti-anxiety drug) to calm my nerves the first 3 weeks of starting a job in a new city. I've been over 3 weeks "clean" of that, or any other substance whatsoever since I don't take drugs recreationally really, I still have panic attacks. I think it's the stress. The doctor didn't think the drugs were the issue as long as I stayed clear of using them for proper long-term periods.
> 
> What are you on about compo? No I'm not looking for compensation for anything if that's what you mean. Not sure where you got that from?
> 
> Also do you not work? Or how do you cycle clen like you typed you do in your post history?


 sorry my error, I didnt realise they were prescription drugs.


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## 39005 (Nov 25, 2013)

Hera said:


> That's not my understanding of 'multidisciplinary'. I understand it as a team of people who specialise in different areas/disciplines of a persons support needs e.g. psychiatrist, clinical psychologist, community psychiatric nurse, support worker, STR worker, counsellor, OT etc. Pooling all those skills into a team who can support a person in many important areas of their life.


Ah , we do have a different understanding of it then, what you are saying above they are supposed to do anyway ( well they have done in this area for many years) - each areas CCG is different.

In this area people are automatically put forward for whatever they need , whether by an OT/care coordinator / psychologist etc etc , early intervention is the start and the care package is adjusted as needed for the client.

* it does show the difference in support via the different CCG's / areas


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

saxondale said:


> sorry my error, I didnt realise they were prescription drugs.


No problem. Not why did you ignore my clen (class c drug as far as I know) question that I asked you? How can you cycle it without being at work while having it in your system?

Also how old are you exactly? Just a few questions back if you don't mind.


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

vendettax said:


> No problem. Not why did you ignore my clen (class c drug as far as I know) question that I asked you? How can you cycle it without being at work while having it in your system?
> 
> Also how old are you exactly? Just a few questions back if you don't mind.


46 male, clens no trouble, I even climb ladders did you not say then benzo was sourced off the internet?

Regarding the employment you have little rights until you've been there for 2 years, if you were open about your disability they are obliged to work with you, that doesn't mean however they cannot still sack you.


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

Another update. I like getting things out on here and hope it might help others who go through mental health problems while trying to get employment like I have. Sorry if it seems like spamming.



saxondale said:


> 46 male, clens no trouble, I even climb ladders did you not say then benzo was sourced off the internet?
> 
> Regarding the employment you have little rights until you've been there for 2 years, if you were open about your disability they are obliged to work with you, that doesn't mean however they cannot still sack you.


The etizolam was off the internet but I told my dr about it and he said it wouldn't cause what I have, it's more likely the depression. 3 weeks on etizolam (weak version of benzo) wouldn't give me such bad effects for weeks after. Glad you had no trouble with clen, I was 21 when I took the stuff and had trouble walking up a steep road before getting out of breath :laugh:.

You were right mate they did sack me. I had a panic attack one day after lunchtime (again) which took me off the phones for half an hour, the manager calmed me down during that half hour but it still went down as me being off the phones. I could take the calls fine (coach gave me a 9/10 when reviewing my calls I took) but why did I keep having panic attacks being around others physically (always coming back from lunch?). A lot of lies were said by the management to get me sacked but I guess I can see why they did it since I was a liability having panic attacks at a call centre.

Getting interviews sorted for everyday next week now. Charity interview on Monday (250 a week door to door) and Warehouse operator interview on Tuesday. I have a Drs appointment on Thursday, I wanna take full time Anti depressants now because I have all the side effects they gave me in the past anyway (no sex drive, appetite, bad sleep pattern). Also contacted the Citizens advice bureau and they said I could get ESA but I don't want to waste me young years on benefits, it takes like 11 weeks to get put on that and you have to show them you're not able for work (which I hope I am).


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

vendettax said:


> Another update. I like getting things out on here and hope it might help others who go through mental health problems while trying to get employment like I have. Sorry if it seems like spamming.
> 
> Lo
> 
> ...


Dont look back mate, keep moving fowards


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

It doesn't take 11wks to get on ESA mate, that C.A.B. guy is talking out of his ****.

You can put in a claim today and should get your first payment within 2wks. You are on a probation period for 13wks though, after this they review your case.

If you can prove then that you are physically, or mentally unfit for work they will allow you to claim the full amount of ESA. On the probationary period you reviece the same amount as JSA. After the 13wks and on full ESA, it goes up by a fair whack.

Only you know if are unfit for work at the end of the day though mate, not some halfwit from CAB or anyone on this board..


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## 39005 (Nov 25, 2013)

Archaic said:


> It doesn't take 11wks to get on ESA mate, that C.A.B. guy is talking out of his ****.
> 
> You can put in a claim today and should get your first payment within 2wks. You are on a probation period for 13wks though, after this they review your case.
> 
> ...


The problem with a lot of mental illness ( especially psychosis) is that they do not know themselves that they are unwell , its only through their actions that they are diagnosed.

The OP need to go to his GP and get an emergency appointment with a psychiatrist for an evaluation and assessment , otherwise if he is ill it is likely the same thing will just happen again in another job.


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## Archaic (Mar 8, 2010)

aqualung said:


> The problem with a lot of mental illness ( especially psychosis) is that they do not know themselves that they are unwell , its only through their actions that they are diagnosed.
> 
> The OP need to go to his GP and get an emergency appointment with a psychiatrist for an evaluation and assessment , otherwise if he is ill it is likely the same thing will just happen again in another job.


Yep, agree 100% mate.


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

Put your health first, & as Aqua says go & see your GP as soon as possible.


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## nowhereboy (May 22, 2012)

MF88 said:


> You're a f*cking clown leaving a job with nothing lined up.


What a stupid thing to say! The poor lad was having a psycotic episode, the levels of fear and panic involved in something like that would make working impossible. he wouldn't have been able to seperate reality from hallucination and you expect him to have a functional conversation with his boss/customers?


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## MF88 (Jul 1, 2012)

nowhereboy said:


> What a stupid thing to say! The poor lad was having a psycotic episode, the levels of fear and panic involved in something like that would make working impossible. he wouldn't have been able to seperate reality from hallucination and you expect him to have a functional conversation with his boss/customers?


Read the rest of the thread...


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

Archaic said:


> It doesn't take 11wks to get on ESA mate, that C.A.B. guy is talking out of his ****.
> 
> You can put in a claim today and should get your first payment within 2wks. You are on a probation period for 13wks though, after this they review your case.
> 
> ...


Yeah 11 or 13, I wasn't sure. Isn't the first 13 weeks just the same as JSA payment? I can't live on that. I don't wanna waste my life. How can people be put on hold for 13 weeks when they have such mental issues? Crazy. I have a mental health appointment on the 7th october and a gp appointment this thursday. I'm thinking full-time ADs and working full-time, keep trying no matter how many times I get sacked. Would rather not live than be on benefits for the rest of my life. Not only financially does it screw you over, but socially aswell. No gf would be interested and my family would see me as a bigger disappointment.



latblaster said:


> Put your health first, & as Aqua says go & see your GP as soon as possible.


Got an appointment for my new actual GP on Thursday. Just seen a DR at the same clinic in the past for a sick note for panic attacks. I will bring her up to date and hopefully get on some zoloft for anxiety/depression. Thanks for all the help btw!


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## Neuroscience (Sep 9, 2014)

being mentally ill is not some kind of weakness that you have to try to fight and deny, as if it is your own fault. the brain can be ill just like the thyroid or pancreas.

you should see a psychiatrist and get medication an treatment and maybe even some help to find a way for you to live a happy and satisfactory life than having to go through all kinds of horrible episodes over and over. you do not want to end in the closed mental institution do you? it can happen quite easily, especially when you are genetically predisposed.


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## Neuroscience (Sep 9, 2014)

zoloft is sertraline as far as i know, an ssri, such medications do take a while to work, you do not know wether that specific medication will help you and how the adjustment period will be. maybe the dr. will give you something different but you should not lie or hold back any of your experiences, because you may need antipsychotics or benzodiazepines and not an ssri, or a combination of various things.


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

MF88 said:


> Read the rest of the thread...


What the guy said was right, at that time I would have had no chance of taking calls. Panic attacks happen every so often but not schizophrenia-like like that. I also will hopefully have a job before I have to sign-on so don't moan at me for taking tax payers money. Two inteviews at the start of the week and hopefully more the rest. I have an appointment for the JSA but then I'd need to sign-on too, all this takes several weeks; in which time I should have a job.


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## MF88 (Jul 1, 2012)

vendettax said:


> What the guy said was right, at that time I would have had no chance of taking calls. Panic attacks happen every so often but not schizophrenia-like like that. I also will hopefully have a job before I have to sign-on so don't moan at me for taking tax payers money. Two inteviews at the start of the week and hopefully more the rest. I have an appointment for the JSA but then I'd need to sign-on too, all this takes several weeks; in which time I should have a job.


But I said a few pages later that it didn't mean to come across as kicking you while you were down, I obviously just worded it wrong and I apologised.


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

MF88 said:


> But I said a few pages later that it didn't mean to come across as kicking you while you were down, I obviously just worded it wrong and I apologised.


It's fine, my dad said the same things to me when I left. Some can't understand the panic attacks. I wouldn't have understood them either a year or so ago. It's hard to explain. You don't need to apologise as leaving a job without something lined up is stupid. I just wish I could control it. Genuinely.


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## MF88 (Jul 1, 2012)

vendettax said:


> It's fine, my dad said the same things to me when I left. Some can't understand the panic attacks. I wouldn't have understood them either a year or so ago. It's hard to explain. You don't need to apologise as leaving a job without something lined up is stupid. I just wish I could control it. Genuinely.


From the sounds of your last post you're dealing well with it, so good luck to you mate.


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

Neuroscience said:


> zoloft is sertraline as far as i know, an ssri, such medications do take a while to work, you do not know wether that specific medication will help you and how the adjustment period will be. maybe the dr. will give you something different but you should not lie or hold back any of your experiences, because you may need antipsychotics or benzodiazepines and not an ssri, or a combination of various things.


The only reason I said zoloft is because that's what my mum is on and I think I take after her mentally. Benzos have serious withdrawals, I took a weak similar version to a benzo and was scared of them since they're so addictive. APs are something I've not fully read up on.


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## Natalie (Jul 22, 2014)

vendettax said:


> It's fine, my dad said the same things to me when I left. Some can't understand the panic attacks. I wouldn't have understood them either a year or so ago. It's hard to explain. You don't need to apologise as leaving a job without something lined up is stupid. I just wish I could control it. Genuinely.


Nothings stupid. You do what you have to do. If your not in a right frame of mind at the time then you wont make decisions based on finances or your future. Youve not done anything stupid. I think youve done well through it all


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

Natalie said:


> Nothings stupid. You do what you have to do. If your not in a right frame of mind at the time then you wont make decisions based on finances or your future. Youve not done anything stupid. I think youve done well through it all


I cried for the first time in my adult life sober when I came home from being dismissed from that job. Never felt more hopeless. I've always tried to blame my mental problems on something (withdrawals, specific season/time, depression etc) but what if I'm just phucked in the head? That's a very scary thought for me. I was living well on the wages they were giving me too, pity. I still blame myself even though I know deep down I couldn't controll those panic attacks.


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## Natalie (Jul 22, 2014)

vendettax said:


> I cried for the first time in my adult life sober when I came home from being dismissed from that job. Never felt more hopeless. I've always tried to blame my mental problems on something (withdrawals, specific season/time, depression etc) but what if I'm just phucked in the head? That's a very scary thought for me. I was living well on the wages they were giving me too, pity. I still blame myself even though I know deep down I couldn't controll those panic attacks.


They will be a reason for it all, probably several reasons. Until you work what they are out and address the cause not just the consequences you wont progress. F**k money, it cones and goes.focus on you. No you cant control them, they control you.


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## vendettax (Jan 29, 2012)

aqualung said:


> The problem with a lot of mental illness ( especially psychosis) is that they do not know themselves that they are unwell , its only through their actions that they are diagnosed.
> 
> The OP need to go to his GP and get an emergency appointment with a psychiatrist for an evaluation and assessment , otherwise if he is ill it is likely the same thing will just happen again in another job.


Missed your post, but you're right. I'm just trying to get other jobs in the hope I don't have panic attacks again. I have a GP appointment this Thursday with my actual GP which is cool. I want to go on zoloft since it's what my mother is on and I think I take after her mentally tbh. I've been with a psychiatrist several times. Got another one booked for the 7th October. They usually say I'm a hypochondriac or that I have BDD.


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## nWo (Mar 25, 2014)

Can't remember if I've posted in this thread already and can't be ársed to read back. What's your situation now mate? Getting to the GPs should be your priority, your mental health comes first. I'd advise against going on JSA tbh - if you can get medical certificates/sick notes from the doctor then apply for ESA instead, you'll be in a better situation I feel - if you feel like working is a bit much at the moment then, for the sake of your health, it might be a good idea to have a break and focus on getting treatment rather than putting yourself through more stress than you can handle. Rather than going to sign on every week or other week or whatever it is these days, getting moaned at or even sanctioned for not trying hard enough etc. you'll just be required to keep going to the doctors every so often to get your note updated - how often depends on how long your doc is willing to sign you off, but the shortest time period is normally 4 weeks with mental health stuff. These regular trips to the doctors are a good opportunity to follow up on referrals to specialists so the GP doesn't "forget" anything.


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

Without going into specific details, I have had MH issues & been treated successfully.

Just coz you get Benefits such as DLA/ESA or PIP, it realy doesn't mean you'll be 'stuck on them for life'.

You just need some help atm, to get well again.


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## Neuroscience (Sep 9, 2014)

benzodiazepines can, despite some claims, be pretty easily used for 8 weeks or longer and tapered off without much trouble. it is mostly that they are useful while other medications are started to hold you over until those take effect, because some could even worsen anxiety intitially. antipsychotics will be more appropriate for a psychotic episode than ssris, that's why you need t tell the dr. the full story of your experience and not just mention some anxiety. sertraline may help with anxiety but it will take a while to kick in but if you have a predisposition to psychotic episodes, those will come back from time to time and every time you will be in a bad place, maybe need to go to a clinic, it would be better to have it under control so you don't get into such a situation again and again. and don't put pressure on yourself. getting well takes time and it's okay for you to take this time.


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