# How do you blag a sick note?



## jayDP (Jan 31, 2012)

Ok so my mate wants to know how to blag a sick not from doctor, he's already said to work he has sore back and has had a week off but if he wants to get paid for another week or 2 he will need a doctors note.

he basically got screwed over by them in his wage haha.

What do you say to doctor, iv tried to google this...

He found out lower back pain causes stiffness, aching in back and legs and bum etc, anything eles he can say


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## Squirrel (Jun 7, 2009)

Jeez, this forum is turning in to skivers & shirkers paradise....

How do I get out of a phone contract without paying?

How can I get 10 days off from a job I haven't even started yet?

How can I blag a sick note?

And that's just today....Are there any other members on here who actually train, want to learn, possibly contribute, or is it just Dear Deadrie?


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## resten (Apr 4, 2012)

Squirrel said:


> Jeez, this forum is turning in to skivers & shirkers paradise....
> 
> *How do I get out of a phone contract without paying?*
> 
> ...


To be fair, the two in bold are from the same person who seems like a bit of a bell piece


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## benno_2010 (Oct 8, 2010)

Tell him to go to work and ask for his wages they screwed up on! alternatively just say to the doctor backs f*cked i need a sicknote to stay off work to get paid


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## BettySwallocks (Aug 1, 2012)

stress  trust me it's an easy ticket to 2 weeks off, any doctor would rather give you a couple of week off work than have you on medication, thank me later.


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## Suprakill4 (Jul 11, 2008)

Squirrel said:


> Jeez, this forum is turning in to skivers & shirkers paradise....
> 
> How do I get out of a phone contract without paying?
> 
> ...


LMAO i was thinking the same but it is the general section afterall.

He simply needs to say he has been having lower back problems. I did when i went to docs and he gave me a month and pain killers, it didnt get better so spoke to work and got another month sick note and my place of work were obliged to send me for physio and ended up having £500 worth and 4 months off work on full pay  My backs still fcuked though lol.


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## Blinkey (May 14, 2012)

Squirrel said:


> Jeez, this forum is turning in to skivers & shirkers paradise....
> 
> How do I get out of a phone contract without paying?
> 
> ...


You forgot about the what makes you gay thread,


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## jayDP (Jan 31, 2012)

Squirrel said:


> Jeez, this forum is turning in to skivers & shirkers paradise....
> 
> How do I get out of a phone contract without paying?
> 
> ...


This has nothing to do skiving this is coz they didn't pay his bonus of £400 coz of some bull shoot excuse, he don't even need the money it's just princable


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## johnnya (Mar 28, 2013)

groundhog day..

.but if he really needs a back problem is always a winner...or stress due to financial worries


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## jayDP (Jan 31, 2012)

BettySwallocks said:


> stress  trust me it's an easy ticket to 2 weeks off, any doctor would rather give you a couple of week off work than have you on medication, thank me later.


He already told work he hurt his back through


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## Suprakill4 (Jul 11, 2008)

jayDP said:


> He already told work he hurt his back through


He is stressed because he has hurt his back.


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## jayDP (Jan 31, 2012)

johnnya said:


> groundhog day..
> 
> .but if he really needs a back problem is always a winner...or stress due to financial worries


Yeah but exactly should he say to doctor?


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## kingdale (Nov 2, 2010)

Fake depression nobody can prove you don't have it.


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## BettySwallocks (Aug 1, 2012)

jayDP said:


> He already told work he hurt his back through


yeah i realised after i posted, maybe now his back is causing him to be stressed?


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## jayDP (Jan 31, 2012)

Any one ever had a sore back before and willing to tell me your symptoms?


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## Guest (May 28, 2013)

Sore to move, walk, trouble sleeping, high doses of painkillers to get through the day, lack of mobility.

In general - Just look like you're in pain


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## Novo78 (Mar 1, 2012)

Lack of sleep due to constant back pains and cramps leaving him feeling depressed, That would get some time off but Stress is the golden ticket.


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## Mez (Jul 31, 2012)

jayDP said:


> Any one ever had a sore back before and willing to tell me your symptoms?


Always in pain when sitting/walking/lying, pins n needles in various places, unable to dress properly.

And always being worried about losing your job through capability and having to use your holidays instead of going on sick. Just in case.


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## tuktuk (Sep 30, 2009)

I ended up in hospital after having back pain which stopped me sleeping for 3 days. I remember sweating really badly because i was so tense. Mt top was wet through haha


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## Tonk007 (Jan 1, 2012)

Squirrel said:


> Jeez, this forum is turning in to skivers & shirkers paradise....
> 
> How do I get out of a phone contract without paying?
> 
> ...


x2 sometimes i wonder if im on the wrong forum lol

yet you have people blaming foreigners for stealing our jobs

who only here for handouts etc


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## jayDP (Jan 31, 2012)

Tonk007 said:


> x2 sometimes i wonder if im on the wrong forum lol
> 
> yet you have people blaming foreigners for stealing our jobs
> 
> who only here for handouts etc


Takeing back wat is owed is not stealing, his work want to be petty so he is playing the same game,

He got a warning 50 weeks ago for being late, this made him invalid for bonus, by just 2 weeks

A woman in the same work place has been off for 6 months on full pay with errrrm woman troubles and bam shes get full bonus plus work owe HER 3 weeks holiday because if your off while sick you get the time back

You think this is right? Anyway is just a big corp company that scammers people everyday so it's only fair people scam them back, not like He don't pay taxes hes never been out of work in 12 years


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## Guest (May 28, 2013)

Go in say your say you feel all upset.

Start crying.

Then p1ss yourself.

You'll get a note or sectioned 50/50 really.


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## Jason88 (Mar 24, 2013)

I miss school days were i could get a note of mom lol


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## fossman (May 15, 2011)

Here's an excuse a woman I work with came up with a couple of weeks ago (could be real for all I know).

Went home early on the Monday said she had toothache and was going for an emergency appointment at the dentist. Rang in Tuesday said she'd been given antibiotics and was waiting for them to start working. Her dad rang in on the Wednesday and said she'd not be in for the rest of the week as she'd had an allergic reaction to the antibotics.

To be honest my workplace would believe anything you told them, one bloke had a day off with bad grass burn on his leg from playing football.


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

jayDP said:


> This has nothing to do skiving this is coz they didn't pay his bonus of £400 coz of some bull shoot excuse, he don't even need the money it's just princable


Well tell him to grow some balls and have it out with them, not skive off with a note from his mum.


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## Guest (May 28, 2013)

sciatica is an easy blag .just limp and say ow every time you move


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

jayDP said:


> Takeing back wat is owed is not stealing, his work want to be petty so he is playing the same game,
> 
> He got a warning 50 weeks ago for being late, this made him invalid for bonus, by just 2 weeks
> 
> ...


Well with any luck he will be soon.

So he doesn't qualify for his bonus as he has failed to hit a kpi, but he has decided that's not valid because its 'not fair' so he's skiving

Deserves to be sacked, if he worked for me and I found that out it would be instant gross misconduct and get somebody in that wants to work and turn up on time.


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## Tonk007 (Jan 1, 2012)

jayDP said:


> Takeing back wat is owed is not stealing, his work want to be petty so he is playing the same game,
> 
> He got a warning 50 weeks ago for being late, this made him invalid for bonus, by just 2 weeks
> 
> ...


well in that case i agree with you, **** big corps they earn millions yet still fiddle with paying taxes etc


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## jayDP (Jan 31, 2012)

Kimball said:


> Well with any luck he will be soon.
> 
> So he doesn't qualify for his bonus as he has failed to hit a kpi, but he has decided that's not valid because its 'not fair' so he's skiving
> 
> Deserves to be sacked, if he worked for me and I found that out it would be instant gross misconduct and get somebody in that wants to work and turn up on time.


Omg your such a gimp, you've never phoned in sick coz your hungover but blaged and said it was Something you eat? guess not

I bet your a manager or even worse a wanna-be-manager and the only mates you've got are your manager buddies haha


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## supermancss (Dec 2, 2008)

Stressed because he hasn't got a decent work ethic and isthick enough to ask others how to tell a doctor he has a bad back.

Moron q & a today it seems...


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## jayDP (Jan 31, 2012)

supermancss said:


> Stressed because he hasn't got a decent work ethic and isthick enough to ask others how to tell a doctor he has a bad back.
> 
> Moron q & a today it seems...


I don't see how he is thick because he asked people this, he's never had a bad back so how can he fool a doctor who see back problems week in week out


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

jayDP said:


> Omg your such a gimp, you've never phoned in sick coz your hungover but blaged and said it was Something you eat? guess not
> 
> I bet your a manager or even worse a wanna-be-manager and the only mates you've got are your manager buddies haha


No never, why would I. You're clearly a skiving good for nothing scrounger.

Yes I am, because I'm good at my job and don't skive off for nothing, how about you?

Of course job status has nothing to do with my friendships. I'm not boring enough to even know what a lot of my friends jobs are, why would I care, it's not what I want to talk about and isn't interesting.

Except for 1 friend who's a zoos head monkey keeper that's interesting.


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## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

tell him hes getting bullied at work


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## jayDP (Jan 31, 2012)

Kimball said:


> No never, why would I. You're clearly a skiving good for nothing scrounger.
> 
> Yes I am, because I'm good at my job and don't skive off for nothing, how about you?
> 
> ...


So 2 weeks off in 3 years is scrounging, yeah ok

Good for nothing, am by far the best at what I do I'm my work place

am good at this guessing game, people like you are just as bad as police


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## Kimball (Feb 26, 2012)

jayDP said:


> So 2 weeks off in 3 years is scrounging, yeah ok
> 
> Good for nothing, am by far the best at what I do I'm my work place
> 
> am good at this guessing game, people like you are just as bad as police


Lol, so it's you all along not a 'friend'

You should be getting a promotion if you're by far the best.

And that last paragraph, oh dear.


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## Mez (Jul 31, 2012)

jayDP said:


> Omg your such a gimp, you've never phoned in sick coz your hungover but blaged and said it was Something you eat? guess not
> 
> I bet your a manager or even worse a wanna-be-manager and the only mates you've got are your manager buddies haha


Must admit I've never phoned in sick cause I've been hungover or just fancied a day off. If I'd done it at home my dad would have threw me out the house and its just been instilled in me.

I only had 1 day off all through high school and only had 3 periods of sick in 16yrs at my current company.

I save my sick pay for genuine illness/injury just in case I break my leg or similar.


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## Mark2021 (Apr 13, 2012)

jayDP said:


> Any one ever had a sore back before and willing to tell me your symptoms?


Extreme lower back pain from getting studded in the back playing football


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## aj90 (Jul 30, 2011)

Thou this was a "mate"?


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## mummyof2 (Feb 24, 2016)

I had to write on this because it annoys me when people feel that they should fake it... my partner has struggled with back problems for almost two years and doctors are refusing to help take the pain away so he struggles with playing with his children and doing day to day activities. ..and he is so depressed and I bet ur friend got help...


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## ILLBehaviour (Dec 20, 2014)

someone I know blagged a load of time off work by faking an operation.


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## Gary29 (Aug 21, 2011)

mummyof2 said:


> I had to write on this because it annoys me when people feel that they should fake it... my partner has struggled with back problems for almost two years and doctors are refusing to help take the pain away so he struggles with playing with his children and doing day to day activities. ..and he is so depressed and I bet ur friend got help...


 Legit 1st post.


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## gymfreak2010 (Jan 6, 2016)

tell him you're shoes ache !!!


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## Smokey13 (Jul 29, 2013)

mummyof2 said:


> I had to write on this because it annoys me when people feel that they should fake it... my partner has struggled with back problems for almost two years and doctors are refusing to help take the pain away so he struggles with playing with his children and doing day to day activities. ..and he is so depressed and I bet ur friend got help...


 This post is almost 3 years old, everybody has problems.

Some people crack on and get on with it and others like to make excuses.

All the best for you and your partner but it sounds like you need to take these concerns up with a medical professional.


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

Squirrel said:


> Jeez, this forum is turning in to skivers & shirkers paradise....
> 
> How do I get out of a phone contract without paying?
> 
> ...


 You could maybe learn to spell,it's Deidre not Deadrie.


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## FelonE1 (Dec 23, 2013)

mummyof2 said:


> I had to write on this because it annoys me when people feel that they should fake it... my partner has struggled with back problems for almost two years and doctors are refusing to help take the pain away so he struggles with playing with his children and doing day to day activities. ..and he is so depressed and I bet ur friend got help...


 Wrong forum,here you go http://www.mumsnet.com/


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## nitrogen (Oct 25, 2007)

jayDP said:


> Ok so my mate wants to know how to blag a sick not from doctor, he's already said to work he has sore back and has had a week off but if he wants to get paid for another week or 2 he will need a doctors note.
> 
> he basically got screwed over by them in his wage haha.
> 
> ...


 Doctor I had a vicious session with my GF last night whilst she wore the strap on. Since then my back is in agony.

Quite believable, but be ready for a rectum examination. :thumb:


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## MickeyE (Sep 17, 2015)

Tell him not to say he has gut ache or stomach bug, unless he wants the doctors finger up his @rse :huh:


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## barsnack (Mar 12, 2011)

mummyof2 said:


> I had to write on this because it annoys me when people feel that they should fake it... my partner has struggled with back problems for almost two years and doctors are refusing to help take the pain away so he struggles with playing with his children and doing day to day activities. ..and he is so depressed and I bet ur friend got help...


 maybe your kids are too fat, and picking their fat fu**ing assess up is the problem....stick your children on DNP, tie them to the back of the car, hit 15mph and let them run a few miles


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## Sustanation (Jan 7, 2014)

jayDP said:


> Ok so my mate wants to know how to blag a sick not from doctor, he's already said to work he has sore back and has had a week off but if he wants to get paid for another week or 2 he will need a doctors note.
> 
> he basically got screwed over by them in his wage haha.
> 
> ...


 You can self certificate for 7 consecutive days yourself but after that you legally need to provide a doctors note, should be easy enough to get one from the GP as they cant refuse if he says he went over his allocation, if not then I recommend your friend gets a good Union rep .


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## BLUE(UK) (Jan 9, 2008)

mummyof2 said:


> I had to write on this because it annoys me when people feel that they should fake it... my partner has struggled with back problems for almost two years and doctors are refusing to help take the pain away so he struggles with playing with his children and doing day to day activities. ..and he is so depressed and I bet ur friend got help...


 It sounds like he needs to get a job n work it off. :confused1:


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## Haunted_Sausage (Jan 2, 2015)

tuktuk said:


> I ended up in hospital after having back pain which stopped me sleeping for 3 days. I remember sweating really badly because i was so tense. *My pants was wet through* haha


 Fixed it for you


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## 31205 (Jan 16, 2013)

Doctors don't like giving sick notes for back pain these days. I was off with mine recently and was lucky to get a week.


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## RUDESTEW (Mar 28, 2015)

ask mum to write a note it works for me.


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## GCMAX (Dec 31, 2013)

jayDP said:


> Ok so my mate wants to know how to blag a sick not from doctor, he's already said to work he has sore back and has had a week off but if he wants to get paid for another week or 2 he will need a doctors note.
> 
> he basically got screwed over by them in his wage haha.
> 
> ...


 If he has a genuine medical condition that makes him unable to do his specific job then a sick note is valid and won't/can't be looked down upon by an employer/ The title suggest he just want's to skive and if so the company will remember and will look to get rid of your mate. Tell him not to be a lazy cnut and that he should thank his lucky stars he actually has a job in these economically depressed times.


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## Fferrier893 (Nov 4, 2015)

jayDP said:


> Ok so my mate wants to know how to blag a sick not from doctor, he's already said to work he has sore back and has had a week off but if he wants to get paid for another week or 2 he will need a doctors note.
> 
> he basically got screwed over by them in his wage haha.
> 
> ...


 Not being able to sleep, fatigue because of it

discomfort and stiffness after waking up

unable to lift, stand or walk for long periods

if he has a desk job, that sitting for long periods cause back pain

Stiffness during everyday activity


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## bottleneck25 (Sep 25, 2009)

Go in to the docs and act up on the pain ask for tramadol tell him you do heavy lifting at work So you need a sick note . ask for an appointment to see a physio . start crying day the pain is to bad to bare and it also making you depressed get six months off for all that


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## Haunted_Sausage (Jan 2, 2015)

The easiest and best thing to do, and I am talking from experience is to go into the doctors and when he asks 'what's up' start to have a breakdown. 'It's what them badtards are putting me through at work' lay it on thick and make sure you drop this magic line in 'I... I just can't take it anymore! I've been thinking about ending it all doc!'

there's not a doctor In the land who will say 'ahhh stick it out it might get better' and risk a suicide on their hands! They'll ask what you want and say I just need a month to clear my head and get myself together, make sure he puts 'work related stress' on his note aswell.

I have a be done this for a firm that was fcuking me over a couple of years ago. There's nothing they can do to dispute it. If they finish you down the line you can play on the work related stress. Your doc can verify you were having suicidal thoughts and at the tribunal you will get something out of it, if it comes to that of course.


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## monkeybiker (Jul 21, 2010)

He has not been fcuked over. The bonus is set as an incentive but he didn't meet the standard to get it. Now he wan't to sulk and call in sick. The company would be better off without him.


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## Haunted_Sausage (Jan 2, 2015)

monkeybiker said:


> He has not been fcuked over. The bonus is set as an incentive but he didn't meet the standard to get it. Now he wan't to sulk and call in sick. The company would be better off without him.


 Oh I didn't realise he hadn't met his quota to receive a bonus! I thought he was being screwed over?

in light of this information I retract ny previous post and instead will advise this "don't fcuking moan about it, just quit! If you 'deserve' to be getting a bonus without meeting the criteria then obviously your so good at your job you will just be able to walk into another one that's already paying £400 a week more"

I mean, I assume you must be that good hence why you feel you deserve the bonus without meeting your targets.....


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