# Anyone experienced a colonic irrigation? (aka tube up ****)



## Mr.Hench (Oct 4, 2009)

Ive heard this is a useful way to get rid of a bloated/distended stomach by getting rid of trapped gas and waste. Apparently during a session you can lose more than a stone of weight. Ive got a bloated stomach that wont go away, ever since i bulked up my stomach has looked pregnant even though ive tried a strict low calorie diet getting rid of wheat, milk etc. I can tense my abs and see the outline of my sixpack but its like a baloon has been inflated in my stomach and wont go away. Even if i dont eat for a day or two i still look pregnant. Maybe my stomach has stretched? But i think its time i got medieval on it!


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## Irish Beast (Jun 16, 2009)

Know a few women who have had it done.

Said it it pretty crap (pardon the expression) and a waste of money. Now I am not sure if this was a sales pitch but apparently you are supposed to keep having them done over a period to get the real benefits.


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## Mr.Hench (Oct 4, 2009)

Irish Beast said:


> Know a few women who have had it done.
> 
> Said it it pretty crap (pardon the expression) and a waste of money. Now I am not sure if this was a sales pitch but apparently you are supposed to keep having them done over a period to get the real benefits.


Its an option that im going to try, on the website of my local clinic they said you can see you're stomach shrink as its done. So in theory if you get it done once thats all you need as the colon is completely cleansed. Its so frustrating, and no beer for me lol, i dont drink. When i wake up my stomach is abit distended but when i eat a small snack it baloons in size!


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## 1adf1 (Jun 15, 2010)

y pay for it just put the shower house up your bum and turn it on


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## Mr.Hench (Oct 4, 2009)

1adf1 said:


> y pay for it just put the shower house up your bum and turn it on


Are you joking lol? I dont know about that, is it safe? Have you done it?


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## Raptor (Feb 16, 2010)

1adf1 said:


> y pay for it just put the shower house up your bum and turn it on


lol best post i have read in ages


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## Guest (Aug 7, 2011)

Mr.Hench said:


> Are you joking lol? I dont know about that, is it safe? Have you done it?


Don't google it for Christ sake!


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## Fatstuff (Mar 2, 2010)

How much do you have to pay for being violated like that?


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## Irish Beast (Jun 16, 2009)

I reckon it would remove excess gas etc but likelyhood is it will return as something in your body is making you bloat


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## LeBigMac (Jul 17, 2011)

Mate. I had 3 of them done over 30 days. Can take between 2 and 10 sessions to completely flush you out. Felt very violated the first time. Didn't help that she was fit as!! Was ok once I relaxed and let her put that tube up my ass.

Had it done as I was always bloated, had bad gas and was a little constipated. Had it done about 7 months ago. Wish I had it done yeas ago. Felt great after. Very light on my feet 

Will go back again in a few months and will get it done once a year. Time it with the car mot.

Never thought this would be something I would have done. Mrs bought it for me (evil cow)


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## Mr.Hench (Oct 4, 2009)

Ultra Soft said:


> Mate. I had 3 of them done over 30 days. Can take between 2 and 10 sessions to completely flush you out. Felt very violated the first time. Didn't help that she was fit as!! Was ok once I relaxed and let her put that tube up my ass.
> 
> Had it done as I was always bloated, had bad gas and was a little constipated. Had it done about 7 months ago. Wish I had it done yeas ago. Felt great after. Very light on my feet
> 
> ...


How was it before and after? Did you lose that pregnant look after the session? How much was it?


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## LeBigMac (Jul 17, 2011)

Paid £70 each session. Mrs paid £40 for the first one off groupon.

Lost 1 inch off my gut from the first session. Mainly due to trapped gas or so I was told. Kept this inch off but have been dieting and exercising at the same time so don't know if it would have stayed off if I hadn't been working out.

Felt great afterwards. Really clean and lighter. Mood improved too due to not feeling so bloated and heavy in the gut. That feeling has not come back.


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## Mr.Hench (Oct 4, 2009)

Ultra Soft said:


> Paid £70 each session. Mrs paid £40 for the first one off groupon.
> 
> Lost 1 inch off my gut from the first session. Mainly due to trapped gas or so I was told. Kept this inch off but have been dieting and exercising at the same time so don't know if it would have stayed off if I hadn't been working out.
> 
> Felt great afterwards. Really clean and lighter. Mood improved too due to not feeling so bloated and heavy in the gut. That feeling has not come back.


Sounds good, too pricey for me for now. Ive just researched something called a salt water flush. Basically you drink a ton of salty water. It works like an enema. I think i'll try this first. Also i heard peppermint tea is good for bowel movements. Ill give em all a go.


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## 1adf1 (Jun 15, 2010)

Mr.Hench said:


> Are you joking lol? I dont know about that, is it safe? Have you done it?


nope not done it just make shore there no sharp eddges on the hose pipe. or just go 2 http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=952

and get an anal douche got my ex 1 and clean every time


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## Mr.Hench (Oct 4, 2009)

1adf1 said:


> nope not done it just make shore there no sharp eddges on the hose pipe. or just go 2 http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=952
> 
> and get an anal douche got my ex 1 and clean every time


Thanks for that, i might try the anal douche bag thingy, but can you pump enough water up to clean your colon properly?


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## 1adf1 (Jun 15, 2010)

Mr.Hench said:


> Thanks for that, i might try the anal douche bag thingy, but can you pump enough water up to clean your colon properly?


not shore my X's was clean enuff you may need 2 squirt a few loads up there i no when she done it she used water and some lube but i think that was 4 her. just fill it with water you should be fine


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## HJL (Apr 26, 2009)

This is the funniest thread in the history of UKM. defo gona have the link as my signature lmao


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

I love how this has gone on for so long being so serious.

I want you to know the entire of UK-M thinks your gay.


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## Vinney (Apr 27, 2011)

if the bird sticks her finger up my bum am game ! haha


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

"Anyone experienced a colonic irrigation? (aka tube up ****)"

I honestly thought that this thread was about "Prison shower shenanigans"


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## 1adf1 (Jun 15, 2010)

*note

within no point have i said anything about doing this myself but i have a fair bit of experience with it...

my ex liked it up the back passage ALOT but i would only go down there when it was clean hence me knowing so much


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

1adf1 said:


> *note
> 
> within no point have i said anything about doing this myself but i have a fair bit of experience with it...
> 
> my ex liked it up the back passage ALOT but i would only go down there when it was clean hence me knowing so much


cough cough


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

Yep...and I wouldn't do it again.


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## Raptor (Feb 16, 2010)

Katy said:


> Yep...and I wouldn't do it again.


What does it feel like?


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## sam2012 (Mar 28, 2009)

1adf1 said:


> nope not done it just make shore there no sharp eddges on the hose pipe. or just go 2 http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=952
> 
> and get an anal douche got my ex 1 and clean every time





Mr.Hench said:


> Thanks for that, i might try the anal douche bag thingy, but can you pump enough water up to clean your colon properly?


lmao only on UK Muscle would this be a serious conversation


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## JamesIre (May 31, 2011)

Try psyllium. It's an insoluble fibre that expands in your gut and cleanses your colon. You can take it in water or pill form before each meal.

And you don't have to shove anything up your a***


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

Raptor said:


> What does it feel like?


It made me feel all bloated and was almost painfull...it basically felt like I was sh!tting myself whilst lying down.


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## MusclesBound (Jul 5, 2011)

This thread is ridiculous.


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## RadMan23 (Dec 22, 2010)

Hi im new to UK Muscle, ive just joined up looking for advice on diet and training.

Think im on the wrong forum though :huh:


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## JamesIre (May 31, 2011)

MusclesBound said:


> This thread is ridiculous.


Sorry to sound self righteous but digestive health is majorly important jn general health and weight management, and therefore bodybuilding.

If you want to look at a less ridiculous thread, go and read 'Im straight' - there's 6500 posts of pure training info there


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## Raptor (Feb 16, 2010)

Katy said:


> It made me feel all bloated and was almost painfull...it basically felt like I was sh!tting myself whilst lying down.


lol i've heard a few people say this, that its almost like having a sh!t for about 20 minutes :lol:


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

Raptor said:


> lol i've heard a few people say this, that its almost like having a sh!t for about 20 minutes :lol:


Yeah it was horrible & indignified! and IMO not worth it. I think that just eating the right stuff is best thing to do  That's the natural thing for the body.


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## 1adf1 (Jun 15, 2010)

i think this thread has made me think im gay. i have and never will put anything up my back passage including water, well i hope not anyway (don't care about the benefits or anything, just seems 2 weird 4 me). but i seem to no so much about it and well my disco stick keeps seeming to end up going down the back ally way off girls anyway. should i be liking putting it up the stink and not the pink but i dont i keep feeling abit gay after :/

think im going 2 have 2 find a nice girl to settle down with and stop doing (dating) sluts.


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## madmuscles (Mar 10, 2011)

Raptor said:


> lol i've heard a few people say this, that its almost like having a sh!t for about 20 minutes :lol:


A dodgy kebab will give the same effects without the embarrassment, indignity, humiliation and all for £4.70 with extra chilli sauce. :thumbup1:


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## The Ultimate Warrior (Dec 20, 2010)

Katy said:


> Yep...and I wouldn't do it again.


Awaiting fastest pervert to reply...



Raptor said:


> What does it feel like?


Pervert recieved...



Katy said:


> It made me feel all bloated and was almost painfull...it basically felt like I was sh!tting myself whilst lying down.


Initiating response...



Raptor said:


> lol i've heard a few people say this, that its almost like having a sh!t for about 20 minutes :lol:


Pervert finished...


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## MNR (Jun 2, 2011)

John Wayne had 40 pounds of compacted fecal matter in his colon when he died elvis had even more. Can't be good for you just sitting there.


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## phoenix1980 (Apr 27, 2011)

MNR said:


> John Wayne had 40 pounds of compacted fecal matter in his colon when he died elvis had even more. Can't be good for you just sitting there.


MMmmm and you've just taken this thread to a whole new level lol 1 like for you :-D


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## MusclesBound (Jul 5, 2011)

JamesIre said:


> Sorry to sound self righteous but digestive health is majorly important jn general health and weight management, and therefore bodybuilding.
> 
> If you want to look at a less ridiculous thread, go and read 'Im straight' - there's 6500 posts of pure training info there


Who said I want a less ridiculous thread? I just so happen to like ridiculous threads. I think we'll all learnt alot more than we bargained for from this thread.

I'd like to add that my ex got it done. She was fat, still is fat.


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## 1adf1 (Jun 15, 2010)

MusclesBound said:


> I'd like to add that my ex got it done. She was fat, still is fat.


1like for you


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## riloal (Aug 12, 2011)

I have a very distended and bloated belly. Yesterday i did a colonic irrigation, thanks to the colonic irrigation, the Dr, has diagnosised me with leaky gut syndrome and candida. I reconmend to anyone having this problems


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## riloal (Aug 12, 2011)

Hi anyonbe knows any protein shake that it,s good for leaky gut and candida?


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

riloal said:


> Hi anyonbe knows any protein shake that it,s good for leaky gut and candida?


With leaky gut syndrome I imagine that you'll need to find a protein shake that ideally has no gluten in and supports digestions. I curently use this Reflex Instant Whey Deluxe:

http://www.reflex-nutrition.com/product-instant-whey-deluxe.html


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## bdcc (Aug 15, 2011)

Katy said:


> With leaky gut syndrome I imagine that you'll need to find a protein shake that ideally has no gluten in and supports digestions. I curently use this Reflex Instant Whey Deluxe:
> 
> http://www.reflex-nutrition.com/product-instant-whey-deluxe.html


Don't use that protein powder if you are looking for gluten free. It contains peptide bonded glutamine which is derived from wheat.

To the OP: I have tried colonic hydrotherapy once, it feels very strange because you feel like you are evacuating your bowels whilst lying down, very counterintuitive.

It helps with bloating if your bloating is coming from constipation and food matter sitting inside of you. In the same way I take a lot of fibre in the days leading up to a photoshoot. If you are bloating for other reasons like having abdominal distention due to inflammation it isn't going to help, you would have to address the cause of the inflammation.


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## Hera (May 6, 2011)

bdcc said:


> Don't use that protein powder if you are looking for gluten free. It contains peptide bonded glutamine which is derived from wheat.
> 
> To the OP: I have tried colonic hydrotherapy once, it feels very strange because you feel like you are evacuating your bowels whilst lying down, very counterintuitive.
> 
> It helps with bloating if your bloating is coming from constipation and food matter sitting inside of you. In the same way I take a lot of fibre in the days leading up to a photoshoot. If you are bloating for other reasons like having abdominal distention due to inflammation it isn't going to help, you would have to address the cause of the inflammation.


Thanks for the tip 

In all fairness I don't use it anymore. I've been sticking to the Paleolithic diet for a while now and only eat what I know goes in it.


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## Nidge (Jan 22, 2007)

Holland and Barrett colon clense does the same thing for a lot less money. When it kicks in take a good book to the thunder box because it works like nothing else.


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## nickymcd (Jul 24, 2011)

How do you get this done? Does the doctor do it or what?


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