# CLASSIC THREAD RE-BUMP: New car arrived today :-) happy days



## Nocarbs

Well it's been on order for 9 months and finally got her this morning.

My lovely Audi RS5 in white.

Yes I'm gloating ;-)


----------



## aesthetics4ever

Love them. Pics???


----------



## Ginger Ben

Nice wheels!


----------



## vduboli

Pics or it didnt happen


----------



## Ste7n

Nice choice, your job most pay well..?


----------



## Rob68

Nocarbs said:


> Well it's been on order for 9 months and finally got her this morning.
> 
> My lovely Audi RS5 in white.
> 
> Yes I'm gloating ;-)


Best stay away from the police in this one mate lol


----------



## Nocarbs

Taken just before I drove off from my dealer


----------



## Suprakill4

Lucky b4stard!!


----------



## Trevor McDonald

Get bigger pics mate! Come on, RS5 is a big deal!

What were you driving before btw?


----------



## QUEST

fookin beast :drool:


----------



## Nocarbs

Mey said:


> Get bigger pics mate! Come on, RS5 is a big deal!


Pitch Black pal otherwise I would


----------



## MRSTRONG

but its an audi ....


----------



## vduboli

Apart from the colour a lovely car, very jealous!

Enjoy!


----------



## Nocarbs

ok Interior shot too


----------



## BRONSON0404

Can i borrow it from monday to friday and everyother weekend please? :thumb:


----------



## Pictor

I hate YOU


----------



## Nocarbs

big ste said:


> I hate YOU


Dont hate the player hate the game


----------



## Trapps84

Nocarbs said:


> Well it's been on order for 9 months and finally got her this morning.
> 
> My lovely Audi RS5 in white.
> 
> Yes I'm gloating ;-)


 What group do you work for? south or north based?


----------



## TheThomo25

can we have bets on how long before you get caught speeding!! :rockon:  :ban:


----------



## Pictor

I'll be getting a S4 end of next year hopefully, won't be a brand new one though! :sad:


----------



## Nocarbs

Trapps84 said:


> What group do you work for? south or north based?


Meaning ?


----------



## Nocarbs

big ste said:


> I'll be getting a S4 end of next year hopefully, won't be a brand new one though! :sad:


S4 S5 not in the same league as RS Jokes my friend S4 nice motor


----------



## Uriel

nice motor but why any fuker gets a white car is beyond me in the uk - they look minging on any day other that one its been washed and waxed on


----------



## Trapps84

im in the motor trade aswell and as im sure your aware its a very interlinked community we may of crossed paths, we also have audi in my group


----------



## Nocarbs

Uriel said:


> nice motor but why any fuker gets a white car is beyond me in the uk - they look minging on any day other that one its been washed and waxed on


Was the quickest one to arrive and im impatient my next one will be Black


----------



## kites1664

very nice


----------



## Nocarbs

Trapps84 said:


> im in the motor trade aswell and as im sure your aware its a very interlinked community we may of crossed paths, we also have audi in my group


Which group you work for I might cover that dealer ? Inchcape ? Listers ?


----------



## QUEST

back an side veiw of exactly same car ......is this deffo your new car

i got thes off interweb...lol


----------



## MRSTRONG

roblee said:


> View attachment 66904
> View attachment 66905
> 
> 
> back an side veiw of exactly same car ......is this deffo your new car
> 
> i got thes off interweb...lol


.......BUSTED........


----------



## andy

i would get down on my knees and fck that car right up the exhaust pipe......

hrr...hrrr uuuuhhhh....take this you metallic white whore.....


----------



## Nocarbs

roblee said:


> View attachment 66904
> View attachment 66905
> 
> 
> back an side veiw of exactly same car ......is this deffo your new car
> 
> i got thes off interweb...lol


Well I work for Audi Group Uk yeah it's my car.

And that's not the same car that's an 11 plate mines a 61


----------



## QUEST

hahaha whats the point .............BUSTERD:clap:


----------



## MRSTRONG

Nocarbs said:


> Well I work for Audi Group Uk so I'd imagine so


some guy has randomly found pictures of a car you have bought and just drove off the forecourt but its bound to be the same car coz you work for audi :confused1:


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> Well I work for Audi Group Uk so I'd imagine so


tell me its true mate.... tell me its yours and you aint been busted....


----------



## Nocarbs

No that's not the same car that's an 11 plate mines a 61


----------



## andy

just got my new car this morning....well chuffed...



see? easy..... :lol:


----------



## MRSTRONG

Nocarbs said:


> No that's not the same car that's an 11 plate mines a 61


i refer to your other post which you stated the picture from the side was taken just before you drove it away from the dealer ....


----------



## QUEST

am goner look for your avi on interweb now ...lmfao


----------



## Nocarbs

My head office is in milton Keynes. I work for Audi UK in finance. I've mentioned this before in posts I've made guys. And that's my new car


----------



## Trapps84

roblee said:


> View attachment 66904
> View attachment 66905
> 
> 
> back an side veiw of exactly same car ......is this deffo your new car
> 
> i got thes off interweb...lol


 if he didnt work in the motor trade i would doubt to but as im in the motor trade aswell pretty much evrry company car i've had has been on the net also with group plates on. having brandnew cars all the time is the second best thing about the motor trade after the pay


----------



## andy

ewen said:


> i refer to your other post which you stated the picture from the side was taken just before you drove it away from the dealer ....


you DID say that mate....


----------



## Nocarbs

roblee said:


> am goner look for your avi on interweb now ...lmfao


Save you the trouble as that's not me in my avi it's Greg plit. Never said that was me in my avi.


----------



## aesthetics4ever

I can see no reason why you'd lie on the internet so I don't doubt you tbh. Saying that some people's minds work in strange ways...


----------



## TooManyPinz

Sfunny ,not one of mine have from new, maybe 3/6 months down the line when it is for sale, and Ive been with BMW for 7 years now Audi :confused1:



Trapps84 said:


> if he didnt work in the motor trade i would doubt to but as im in the motor trade aswell pretty much evrry company car i've had has been on the net also with group plates on


----------



## MRSTRONG

Trapps84 said:


> if he didnt work in the motor trade i would doubt to but as im in the motor trade aswell pretty much evrry company car i've had has been on the net also with group plates on


yes but this car has just shown up after been on order for 9 long months .... doubt pictures of it would exist .


----------



## QUEST

radicalry00 said:


> I can see no reason why you'd lie on the internet so I don't doubt you tbh. Saying that some people's minds work in strange ways...


yes but nocarbs said thats the pic he took before he drove it a way


----------



## Nocarbs

andy said:


> you DID say that mate....


Yes I did however didn't make sense which is why I amended it. Listen all demos have to be plated have photos taken for the Internet because even though it's my car its still for sale. Which is why the picture is on the web.


----------



## aesthetics4ever

Actually he did say that checking back? Attempt to make his e penis bigger maybe?


----------



## Trapps84

TooManyPinz said:


> Sfunny ,not one of mine have and Ive been with BMW for 7 years now Audi :confused1:


 really?! evry car i've had in the last 3 years has been up for sale except my first job were they used fleet


----------



## MRSTRONG

Nocarbs said:


> Yes I did however didn't make sense which is why I amended it. Listen all demos have to be plated have photos taken for the Internet because even though it's my at still for sale. Which is why the picture is on the web.


you ordered a car 9 months ago it turns up the dealer takes pictures to place them on in adverts to sell a vehicle that is already ear marked for you ?


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> Yes I did however didn't make sense which is why I amended it. Listen all demos have to be plated have photos taken for the Internet because even though it's my car its still for sale. Which is why the picture is on the web.


ok mate...im just pointing out what you said...if its yours.......big up yasel


----------



## aesthetics4ever

Well to stop all the rambling and suspicion nocarbs will be able to nip out to car now and get some interior shots? Must have a camera with a flash on surely?


----------



## El Ricardinho

i shmell shhiiitttee.


----------



## Nocarbs

andy said:


> ok mate...im just pointing out what you said...if its yours.......big up yasel


I change my cars every 6 months. As soon as a demo is registered via afral and pdi'd it has a pic taken for the web as it goes on demo sale. Simple


----------



## andy

radicalry00 said:


> Well to stop all the rambling and suspicion nocarbs will be able to nip out to car now and get some interior shots? Must have a camera with a flash on surely?


and exterior


----------



## aesthetics4ever

Yup


----------



## Nocarbs

Once I'm off the M6 I will


----------



## aesthetics4ever

Don't feel like you have to justify yourself to us mate but I am genuinely interested in how the car looks inside and out. And it will stop the suspicions too


----------



## QUEST

radicalry00 said:


> Well to stop all the rambling and suspicion nocarbs will be able to nip out to car now and get some interior shots? Must have a camera with a flash on surely?


write UK-M on a bit of paper put on window of car take pic ...


----------



## Trapps84

i agree with no carbs thats how my group works not all groups are the same though, i've sold a car before that i was in for my demo and due to brand policys we couldnt give it to them for 3months as you have to keep demonstrators for ex amount of time as dealerships get discount on demos otherwise most dealers would be registering cars left right and centre to profitear


----------



## MRSTRONG

Nocarbs said:


> Once I'm off the M6 I will


so your driving uploading pictures and writing in your brand new audi pull into the next services buy a cheap paper and take pictures


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> Once I'm off the M6 I will


youre on this forum driving on the m6?


----------



## Nocarbs

roblee said:


> write UK-M on a bit of paper put on window of car take pic ...


In the words of Gordon Ramsey **** off


----------



## andy

the guy at crawley audi says theyve had it there for ages??? (thats where the pics were taken from)


----------



## QUEST

Nocarbs said:


> In the words of Gordon Ramsey **** off


ay am not the 1 makin silly storys up m8 .....chill


----------



## MRSTRONG

Nocarbs said:


> In the words of Gordon Ramsey **** off


----------



## Guest

What's going off in here then!?

Is it a wind up or are people winding nocarbs up


----------



## MRSTRONG

R0B said:


> What's going off in here then!?
> 
> Is it a wind up or are people winding nocarbs up


nocarbs has noaudi .


----------



## andy

R0B said:


> What's going off in here then!?
> 
> Is it a wind up or are people winding nocarbs up


read the whole thread and make your mind up mate...


----------



## Rob_14

NICE. i got my new car today aswell, not and audi tho i must admit. needed a new 1 after my CLIO's (common fault) bonnet flew up goin 60mph with my 12 week old boy in and my fiancé


----------



## Suprakill4

jesus christ, why on earth are you all going sherlock holmes on this guy. Who gives a fcuk whether its his car or not, if it is, well done, your doing well in life to have a car like that, hope you enjoy it, if not and its a lie, which i dont thin, so be it....


----------



## miggs

This is the best tread I have read in a very long time lol


----------



## Guest

ewen said:


> nocarbs has noaudi .


 :lol:



andy said:


> read the whole thread and make your mind up mate...


LOL, I have.... .cant decide


----------



## andy

Suprakill4 said:


> jesus christ, why on earth are you all going sherlock holmes on this guy. Who gives a fcuk whether its his car or not, if it is, well done, your doing well in life to have a car like that, hope you enjoy it, if not and its a lie, which i dont thin, so be it....


because its fun to catch out a bullsh1tter ....thats why..

if its his....apologies will be due


----------



## Suprakill4

miggs said:


> This is the best tread I have read in a very long time lol


You must have missed Irish Raver's thread about his missus passing out in her own party, now THAT was a thread!


----------



## Suprakill4

andy said:


> because its fun to catch out a bullsh1tter ....thats why..
> 
> if its his....apologies will be due


Do you really care though? I hope it is to be fair.


----------



## Nocarbs

Listen end of the day if I wanted to lie I'd of picked a better car. Porsche. Ferrari. Lamborghini. It's a demonstrator. I get to drive for 6 months as I work for Audi. Believe me or don't not ****d


----------



## MRSTRONG

im just wondering why pictures of a car in the Manchester area have appeared in a crawley car showroom couple hundred miles away.....


----------



## aesthetics4ever

Tbf that car costs as much as most Porsches.


----------



## PistolPete

Nice I just sold my RS4 and already miss it!!


----------



## Nocarbs

ewen said:


> im just wondering why pictures of a car in the Manchester area have appeared in a crawley car showroom couple hundred miles away.....


What's Manchester got to do with anything ?


----------



## andy

Suprakill4 said:


> Do you really care though? I hope it is to be fair.


i hope its his as well...but tbh, im bored and have nothing better to do with my time at the mo...ok?

there are a few stupid things hes said about it...driving on the m6 for instance while uploading pics and writing on this forum??


----------



## Tasty

I wondered why this thread was so long! Now I see. Lies, deceit and heresy! Work of the devil.


----------



## Guest

ewen said:


> im just wondering why pictures of a car in the Manchester area have appeared in a crawley car showroom couple hundred miles away.....


Full time strongman, part time Poirot


----------



## MRSTRONG

Nocarbs said:


> What's Manchester got to do with anything ?


m6 and the fact you train around the manc area ....


----------



## Nocarbs

andy said:


> i hope its his as well...but tbh, im bored and have nothing better to do with my time at the mo...ok?
> 
> there are a few stupid things hes said about it...driving on the m6 for instance while uploading pics and writing on this forum??


I said I was on the M6 never said I was the one driving


----------



## Suprakill4

andy said:


> i hope its his as well...but tbh, im bored and have nothing better to do with my time at the mo...ok?
> 
> there are a few stupid things hes said about it...driving on the m6 for instance while uploading pics and writing on this forum??


Its fine by me.......


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> I said I was on the M6 never said I was the one driving


so youre not driving your brand new car...


----------



## Trapps84

audi crawley if im not mistaken is audi owned and not a private dealership group, he did say he works for audi and were ever and whatever car he has would be advertised on multiple sites


----------



## MRSTRONG

andy said:


> so youre not driving your brand new car...


course not hes only 16 :lol:


----------



## Nocarbs

ewen said:


> m6 and the fact you train around the manc area ....


Your being redicilous now in making me justify to someone I've never met. I live in Manchester I work as far as Milton keynes all the way up to newcastle. So now tell me what your on about


----------



## MRSTRONG

Trapps84 said:


> audi crawley if im not mistaken is audi owned and not a private dealership group, he did say he works for audi


my point was why would one dealership let their profit go to another dealership ?

as you said yourself they make profit on demo`s o why ship it 200+ miles :confused1:


----------



## MRSTRONG

Nocarbs said:


> Your being redicilous now in making me justify to someone I've never met. I live in Manchester I work as far as Milton keynes all the way up to newcastle. So now tell me what your on about


you dont need to justify anything to me .

BUT now would be a good time to tell us you were pulling our legs ..... we will forget .

eventually


----------



## Nocarbs

ewen said:


> my point was why would one dealership let their profit go to another dealership ?
> 
> as you said yourself they make profit on demo`s o why ship it 200+ miles :confused1:


The dealership will still get the profit when they sell it. It's still their demo I just drive it


----------



## JG123

Fair play to you mate


----------



## Trapps84

ewen said:


> my point was why would one dealership let their profit go to another dealership ?
> 
> as you said yourself they make profit on demo`s o why ship it 200+ miles :confused1:


 in the motor trade you ship cars from north to south all the time between groups i've even swaped cars from groups i have no connection with. plus crawley is prob the most southerly audi owned dealership so when the car gets imported it would make sense just to transport to the nearest dealership that crawley branch is big aswell it was purpose built i think and is massive for asingle brand site.

i would of liked to see uk-m on a bit of paperf though


----------



## Uriel

Nocarbs said:


> Save you the trouble as that's not me in my avi it's Greg plit. Never said that was me in my avi.


you fuking cheating cnut lol


----------



## MRSTRONG

Nocarbs said:


> The dealership will still get the profit when they sell it. It's still their demo I just drive it


fair enough i trust every word you say 

but you do know crawley is alot further down than milton keynes right :lol:


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> The dealership will still get the profit when they sell it. It's still their demo I just drive it


youre not driving it now though?


----------



## andy

you said the car arrived today, but the guy at the dealership told me theyd had it sitting there for "quite a while now"

explain that and ill hold my hands up mate


----------



## QUEST

heres uriel he'll sort this mess out ...

what goin on here uriel. lol


----------



## Trapps84

andy said:


> you said the car arrived today, but the guy at the dealership told me theyd had it sitting there for "quite a while now"
> 
> explain that and ill hold my hands up mate


 oh!


----------



## Uriel

roblee said:


> heres uriel he'll sort this mess out ...
> 
> what goin on here uriel. lol


lol - i dont know mate, I thought nocarbs was alright but that avvy is definately suggesting its him (whether he says so or not)..............fuking heads missing etc.......

I dont meant to raise a lynch mob but we should deffo chase him around the forum en masse with fire torches for an hour lol


----------



## Tasty

BURN HIM! PURGE HIM WITH FIRE BACK TO FROM WHENCE HE CAME! BACK FOUL BEAST!


----------



## Uriel

as far as im concerned - only a full body pic will redeem him this evening.......and if he's a sh0rt fat ugly cnut - he can stay - if he's hench - he has to be banished to test muscle pmsl where he will be in a tiny minority


----------



## andy

i want a pic of him, his car, his bird , his cock?!!/ and his bank account details.

only that will redeem him in my eyes.....


----------



## Guest

andy said:


> i want a pic of him, his car, his bird , his cock?!!/ and his bank account details.
> 
> only that will redeem him in my eyes.....


Lol, there's been a pic of him with his bird on a thread.

Think it was a proposal thread.....?

Correct me if I'm wrong nocarbs ?

No c0ck shot though, sorry


----------



## MRSTRONG

im not sure but maybe some genuine pics of his new car would have been enough ...


----------



## andy

ewen said:


> im not sure but maybe some genuine pics of his new car would have been enough ...


yep.


----------



## Trapps84

I'm eating my words about now!

Loving the banter


----------



## Guest




----------



## MRSTRONG

R0B said:


> Lol, there's been a pic of him with his bird on a thread.
> 
> Think it was a proposal thread.....?
> 
> Correct me if I'm wrong nocarbs ?
> 
> No c0ck shot though, sorry


erm post 44 .... http://www.uk-muscle.co.uk/general-conversation/150067-compare-your-other-half-someone-famous-3.html


----------



## Guest

ewen said:


> erm post 44 .... http://www.uk-muscle.co.uk/general-conversation/150067-compare-your-other-half-someone-famous-3.html


Magnum PI has nothing on u!?


----------



## andy

ewen said:


> erm post 44 .... http://www.uk-muscle.co.uk/general-conversation/150067-compare-your-other-half-someone-famous-3.html


"that is me in my avatar".......well found mate


----------



## transformer23

roblee said:


> View attachment 66904
> View attachment 66905
> 
> 
> back an side veiw of exactly same car ......is this deffo your new car
> 
> i got thes off interweb...lol


lol


----------



## miggs

ewen said:


> erm post 44 .... http://www.uk-muscle.co.uk/general-conversation/150067-compare-your-other-half-someone-famous-3.html


Bussssssssssted!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## andy

the real nocarbs???


----------



## MRSTRONG

andy said:


> the real nocarbs???
> 
> View attachment 66911


tell you what if thats in the back of them rs5`s i want one ....


----------



## aesthetics4ever

Why the hell do people compulsively lie on the interwebs? It really is odd and kinda scary.


----------



## Uriel

ewen said:


> erm post 44 .... http://www.uk-muscle.co.uk/general-conversation/150067-compare-your-other-half-someone-famous-3.html


Oh FFS - get off the forum you chopper


----------



## Nocarbs

Never once said that was me in my avi. Why would I when I've already posted pics of myself on here. Listen I'm not bothered if anyone believes what I drive. I change my car all the time. Had an S3 golf gti. Golf R. You name it I've had it


----------



## andy

radicalry00 said:


> Why the hell do people compulsively lie on the interwebs? It really is odd and kinda scary.


because you can make out youre something that youre not...and never will be if all you do is lie about it on the net.


----------



## miggs

Well don't know about u guys but f**k me this thread has really entertained me today!! I wonder if this is the end of nocarbs??


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> Never once said that was me in my avi. Why would I when I've already posted pics of myself on here. Listen I'm not bothered if anyone believes what I drive. I change my car all the time. Had an S3 golf gti. Golf R. You name it I've had it


 yes you did


----------



## Nocarbs

And when I posted that I had a different avitar I've changed it about 5 times since joining in aug.


----------



## MRSTRONG

Nocarbs said:


> Never once said that was me in my avi. Why would I when I've already posted pics of myself on here. Listen I'm not bothered if anyone believes what I drive. I change my car all the time. Had an S3 golf gti. Golf R. You name it I've had it


you ever driven a yellow submarine ?


----------



## MRSTRONG

Uriel said:


> Oh FFS - get off the forum you chopper


go fuk yourself


----------



## essexboy

radicalry00 said:


> Why the hell do people compulsively lie on the interwebs? It really is odd and kinda scary.


Yeah its creepy, have a look at my new house!


----------



## Smitch

So this has gone from "my new car i ordered" to "it's a demonstrator and they let me drive it".

That's like me saying "here's a photo of my train" well actually "it belongs to Southwest trains but they let me drive it 5 days a week".


----------



## Tasty

This thread is fantastic. I find it weird when people do this! I tell you lot the worst things that happen to me, misery, despair, erectile dysfunction and enjoy the banter, this guy is living a fantasy life among us!


----------



## Tasty

Smitch said:


> So this has gone from "my new car i ordered" to "it's a demonstrator and they let me drive it".
> 
> That's like me saying "here's a photo of my train" well actually "it belongs to Southwest trains but they let me drive it 5 days a week".


They don't even make me drive the train, I have a chauffer and all my friends get to ride too! But I charge them and none of us talk to each other.


----------



## jjcooper

i have a 15 inch schlong, houses all over the world, and several cars F430s 911 turbo's. and my wife is eva mendes! Oh no wait thats my internet fantasy life sorry guys, this thread rubbed off on me a bit from the OP


----------



## MRSTRONG

Tasty said:


> This thread is fantastic. I find it weird when people do this! I tell you lot the worst things that happen to me, misery, despair, erectile dysfunction and enjoy the banter, this guy is living a fantasy life among us!


there is a cure for erectile dysfunction...... never look at uriels face the thing needs a bloody good ironing :lol:


----------



## Uriel

lol - i was talking about no carbs you girl lol



ewen said:


> go fuk yourself


----------



## Uriel

ewen said:


> there is a cure for erectile dysfunction...... never look at uriels face the thing needs a bloody good ironing :lol:


oh - now you are being mean cause you think i told you to go pmsl


----------



## jjcooper

ewen said:


> there is a cure for erectile dysfunction......* never look at uriels face the thing needs a bloody good ironing* :lol:


Laughed quite hard at this all though uriel looks a big c*nt. so i wont mess


----------



## MRSTRONG

Uriel said:


> lol - i was talking about no carbs you girl lol


sorry got ahead of myself


----------



## Uriel

ewen said:


> sorry got ahead of myself


go fuk yourself lol

i'm ironing my face pmsl


----------



## Conscript

*EPIC!!!!*


----------



## MRSTRONG

Uriel said:


> go fuk yourself lol
> 
> i'm ironing my face pmsl


----------



## Smitch

AndrewB said:


> *TAXI*- for no carbs :rolleye:


He probably owns one of them too.


----------



## Conscript

Part exchanged my Astra for these beautys! Honest..


----------



## MRSTRONG

Conscript said:


> Part exchanged my Astra for these beautys! Honest..
> 
> View attachment 66914


did breda drop them off ?


----------



## Uriel

I reckon we will have a new member tomorrow

Female Nocarbs pmsl


----------



## Uriel

Conscript said:


> Part exchanged my Astra for these beautys! Honest..
> 
> View attachment 66914


is that your own pistol?


----------



## Conscript

ewen said:


> did breda drop them off ?


 :lol: :lol: Nah it's me mate!


----------



## Conscript

Uriel said:


> is that your own pistol?


Family heirloom..


----------



## QUEST

female nocarbs

p1$$ takin cvnt the lot of us ....haha ...love it:rockon:


----------



## Matt 1

(For your pants OP)


----------



## Uriel

roblee said:


> View attachment 66915
> 
> 
> female nocarbs


 :lol: :lol:

my side ouch.................repped


----------



## Conscript

I'm getting some coffee, this thread could go on a while!! :laugh:


----------



## Trapps84

All jokes aside I hope no one has taken gear advice or pct fro no carbs!


----------



## jaycue2u

Imagine if Nocarbs submits a photo of him and his bird in the Audi with todays news paper in the window


----------



## Conscript

^Then all is forgiven!


----------



## andy

jaycue2u said:


> Imagine if Nocarbs submits a photo of him and his bird in the Audi with todays news paper in the window


i, for one, would give him my sincere apologies....

but he should answer my questions and stop being so fckin vague.


----------



## Conscript

If I was the OP I'd upload some photos asap, or lay low for a few days, or delete the opening post!


----------



## Tasty

Conscript said:


> If I was the OP I'd upload some photos asap, or lay low for a few days, or delete the opening post!


I was the OP I'd go and lie down in a dark room for a while and think about what the **** I'm doing with my life.


----------



## sawyer

Just finished reading the whole thread. Even if he does it's not his car. I have some amazing cars for sale at times but never post saying check MY car out cause there not mine there sale cars


----------



## s3_abv

After reading the whole thread i have seriously just p!ssed my pants.

This thread is full of win.


----------



## MRSTRONG

jaycue2u said:


> Imagine if Nocarbs submits a photo of him and his bird in the Audi with todays news paper in the window


would you still believe it though ?

as he works for audi he can take loads of pics tomorrow ....

the only thing he can do to redeem himself is post pictures of his mrs legs akimbo in the MA .


----------



## jaycue2u

Im not saying he will or that i believe him, but imagine it! Everyone would be looking for signs of photoshopping lol


----------



## QUEST

ewen said:


> erm post 44 .... http://www.uk-muscle.co.uk/general-conversation/150067-compare-your-other-half-someone-famous-3.html


i recon thats a blagg pic as well .. :rolleye:


----------



## MRSTRONG

roblee said:


> i recon thats a blagg pic as well .. :rolleye:


its a facebook picture looking at all the numbers in the title of it ......but whose fb pic


----------



## QUEST

ewen said:


> its a facebook picture looking at all the numbers in the title of it ......but whose fb pic


thats what i was goner say :huh:


----------



## TrainingwithMS

I've been having a fking nightmare today but reading this has had me chuckle regardless of the outcome 

I'd like to stay around to read it for the rest of the evening reading this as it progresses but Richard Branson just rang me up and asked if I would like to go on a test run of his new Virgin Space Shuttle :thumb:

I wasn't gonna bother but then he said we were gonna stop off for a week on his island on the way back and Hefner was flying in all the Playboy bunnies for the weekend as well :whistling:

Oh no I've got a nightshift to crack out so I will be reading after all :lol:


----------



## Trapps84

I keep thinking that nocarbs had no clue what one lie would escalate to, not only does he not drive s5 he's probably allcarbs and his bird is one of his mates off fb prob the avitar is as well! Pmsl


----------



## Trapps84

Even better just noticed the title.

"happy days"

Bet he's not that happy now


----------



## MRSTRONG

Trapps84 said:


> I keep thinking that nocarbs had no clue what one lie would escalate to, not only does he not drive s5 he's probably allcarbs and his bird is one of his mates off fb prob the avitar is as well! Pmsl


im pretty sure ive seen that bird before just cant place it .

well im off to search my [email protected] bank for bird .

would a guy in finance look like the guy in the picture ?

nocarbs said he had bad gyno but cant see that dude in the pic having bad gyno ....


----------



## Nocarbs

Trapps84 said:


> Even better just noticed the title.
> 
> "happy days"
> 
> Bet he's not that happy now


Not really ****d to be fair fella.

1. It's still my demo regardless of what's believed.

2. The post that said yes that's me in my avitar was from a couple of months back I had a different avitar then.

3. Yes that pic is from MY Facebook where all my pics are


----------



## Bulk1

I was on page 6.. but cheated a bit and skipped to the end.. I never can wait to find out what happens at the end of a good story.


----------



## Trapps84

Please go out and take a pic of you in it it has s5 embroidered in the headrest it will take 2mins!

It would shut alot of people up and then they would all look like dicks

Also bare in mind that I backed your corner for the most of this thread until andy rang Crawley Audi!(andy you sneaky [email protected])


----------



## NB89

Nocarbs said:


> Not really ****d to be fair fella.
> 
> 1. It's still my demo regardless of what's believed.
> 
> 2. The post that said yes that's me in my avitar was from a couple of months back I had a different avitar then.
> 
> 3. Yes that pic is from MY Facebook where all my pics are


Reading this thread this could be resolved with a simple picture with a piece of paper inside or on the car with 'UK-M, Nocarbs says p1ss off you haters'

The fact this proves too difficult kind of says it all.


----------



## Zangief

OFF WITH HIS HEAD.


----------



## big steve

unbelievable


----------



## digitalis

To be fair to the guy he posted some cracking recipies up in the diet section, but all you gotta do is post a photo now man of the car in the drive or whatever..shame really as it makes you think who else could be "economical with the truth."


----------



## Trapps84

Please nopics.


----------



## Tasty

They call him Nocarbs, he's got nopics because he's got nocars!


----------



## Sub-Zero

Funny thread this is:lol:

NoCarbs+NoAudi= NoTruth :whistling:


----------



## Mr_Morocco

looks nice, the S5 Cabriolet looks just as good, definatly gonna test drive

why did it take 9 months?


----------



## TrainingwithMS

Afghan said:


> looks nice, the S5 Cabriolet looks just as good, definatly gonna test drive
> 
> why did it take 9 months?


 :lol:

Read the whole thread from start to finish mate, it's a long one but you can thank me afterwards


----------



## Guest

If It's any consolation I really do own a smart car....ha Ha...


----------



## flinty90

Nocarbs said:


> Not really ****d to be fair fella.
> 
> 1. It's still my demo regardless of what's believed.
> 
> 2. The post that said yes that's me in my avitar was from a couple of months back I had a different avitar then.
> 
> 3. Yes that pic is from MY Facebook where all my pics are


dont worry mate i believe everything you say


----------



## BodyBuilding101

gbn69 said:


> If It's any consolation I really do own a smart car....ha Ha...


Id keep that quite tbh mate :lol:


----------



## Mr_Morocco

Just read the whole thread through, some jealous ba5tards on here..asking a guy to take a pic with a peice of paper with UK-M on it..LOL


----------



## Guest

BodyBuilding101 said:


> Id keep that quite tbh mate :lol:


joke mate, been gettin quite enough stick in my own thread ha ha..merely attempting to alleviate the situation...


----------



## Mr_Morocco

whats everyone doing up aint it like 4am in UK?


----------



## Guest

working mate, run a lot of doors, always late finishes....not at uni till one tomorrow so not too bad....


----------



## Raptor

Hahaha pmsl laughing at this thread, made my night


----------



## mikep81

TrainingwithMS said:


> :lol:
> 
> Read the whole thread from start to finish mate, it's a long one but you can thank me afterwards


I just read the whole thread off the back of your post and it was very entertaining, so thanks!


----------



## MRSTRONG

The guy works in an audi dealership he could easily put a bit of paper with UK-m in a forecourt car and claim he was telling the truth , bit like I could POP into the ferrari shop sit in one and take a pic , so it needs to be more specific .......


----------



## Zangief

Can a mod change his username to Noaudi ? would be to funny


----------



## bowen86

i drive an audi.

no seriously i do.


----------



## Mr_Morocco

ewen said:


> The guy works in an audi dealership he could easily put a bit of paper with UK-m in a forecourt car and claim he was telling the truth , bit like I could POP into the ferrari shop sit in one and take a pic , so it needs to be more specific .......


lol why do you care so much mate? guys got a nice car, he did say its a demo car he can use for 6 months, my uncle used to work at audi and got to take home different audi's every now n then


----------



## Tasty

Zangief said:


> Can a mod change his username to Noaudi ? would be to funny


Please do this.


----------



## flinty90

Afghan said:


> whats everyone doing up aint it like 4am in UK?


i cant sleep mate, i have been shagging kylie mynogue for a couple of hours, and now rihanna wont leave me alone... i told the bitches i had to come on here just to rag on someone that is lying on the internet, they both understood, and told me they would play with each other till i went back to bed ...

No its true honest :whistling:


----------



## flinty90

Afghan said:


> lol why do you care so much mate? guys got a nice car, he did say its a demo car he can use for 6 months, my uncle used to work at audi and got to take home different audi's every now n then


Ewen is just jeleous mate , i mean come on look at ewens Avi the cnut had to carry is stuff around by hand cos he dont have a car :lol:


----------



## s&amp;ccoach

His new car, worth the wait i'd say.

If he is telling the truth why not take a photo in it next to it with a fcuk the uk m non believers!


----------



## lolik

great thread to read can't believe i went through all the pages.


----------



## flinty90

s&ccoach said:


> His new car, worth the wait i'd say.
> 
> If he is telling the truth why not take a photo in it next to it with a fcuk the uk m non believers!


errrmmm that will be because he isnt telling the truth mate lol....


----------



## vduboli

flinty90 said:


> errrmmm that will be because he isnt telling the truth mate lol....


Lol I have to admit it doesn't look good...good try though wasn't it!

either way who cares!


----------



## flinty90

vduboli said:


> Lol I have to admit it doesn't look good...good try though wasn't it!
> 
> either way who cares!


i care i have never been lied to on the internet before and i dont appreciate it pmsl !!!!


----------



## a.notherguy

i picked my new car up today.....

for all the cynical non believers here is a pic....


----------



## flinty90

a.notherguy said:


> i picked my new car up today.....
> 
> for all the cynical non believers here is a pic....
> 
> View attachment 66956


I call bullsh1t mate, they didnt make wheeltrims like that on the 2011 models pmsl 1!!


----------



## Breda

flinty90 said:


> I call bullsh1t mate, they didnt make wheeltrims like that on the 2011 models pmsl 1!!


Na mate its legit i nicked it from Alonso and sold it to him for a gold chain


----------



## flinty90

Breda said:


> Na mate its legit i nicked it from Alonso and sold it to him for a gold chain


oh then i stand corrected...

You see i dont mind admitting when i am wrong lol...


----------



## Rocho

Raptor said:


> Hahaha pmsl laughing at this thread, made my night


Nearly up to your level of bullsh1tting this one!!!


----------



## vduboli

He's gone very quiet, do you think he's broken down on the M6 and left his Green Flag policy details at the dealers?

Or rather white flag?


----------



## Breda

can somebody tell me why a fella gettin a new car has 14 pages and has made certain peoples nights


----------



## andy

cant believe this thread is still going.....


----------



## coco

wow took ages to get to the end of this thread lol,

think it looks like it went from "my new car i ordered 9 months ago" to "its a demo im getting a shot of", is a bit of a white lie

but if proven wrong, dont mind hanging my head in shame - lets see.


----------



## flinty90

Breda said:


> can somebody tell me why a fella gettin a new car has 14 pages and has made certain peoples nights


mate he didnt even get a new car thats the kicker of it all lol... its like he is a salesman and has sold us all a dream ... lol


----------



## Breda

flinty90 said:


> mate he didnt even get a new car thats the kicker of it all lol... its like he is a salesman and has sold us all a dream ... lol


PMSL... you're joking

I need to read this thread later when i'm not at work, sounds like its worth a read


----------



## Trapps84

andy said:


> cant believe this thread is still going.....


 tbh if it wasn't for your bs meter going of the scale it wouldn't be!


----------



## andy

Trapps84 said:


> tbh if it wasn't for your bs meter going of the scale it wouldn't be!


haha...


----------



## MRSTRONG

Anyway how's the second day of ownership in a brand new rs5 been noaudi ?


----------



## Tasty

I bet noaudi's been doing nodoughnuts in his new nocar, he needs to be careful though, he'll burn out his notyres on his nocar if he does too many


----------



## MRSTRONG

Tasty said:


> I bet noaudi's been doing nodoughnuts in his new nocar, he needs to be careful though, he'll burn out his notyres on his nocar if he does too many


You mean he will burnout his notyres in notime ...


----------



## Tasty

Yeah, even brand new notyres will be gone in notime with a noaudi s5! Those things will go from no - 60 in notime


----------



## Breda

Cnut got busted by Roblee on page 2 lol this is guna make for interestin readin.... No one tell me how it ends


----------



## Breda

What! Greg Pit avi... I gave you props for lookin good nocarbs and that ain't even you... Could've told me man


----------



## flinty90

I guess he will be racing next year in the noto gp


----------



## The Shredder

ewen said:


> You mean he will burnout his notyres in notime ...


You guys are literally the worst people ROFL!!!

I've cracked up at about 10/15 posts in this thread literally cracking up!

I feel sorry for him tho  ...


----------



## Trapps84

He wants to be carefull on the m6 updating his thread or he'll be nolicense


----------



## flinty90

i bet the lying cnut has carbs as well phu Nocarbs my a$$


----------



## Breda

Bet he'll be nolonger posting for a little while

You lot never let me down fcukin relentless and showed nomercy


----------



## flinty90

Breda said:


> Bet he'll be nolonger posting for a little while
> 
> You lot never let me down fcukin relentless and showed nomercy


 we really are the ultimate in internet security pmsl !!


----------



## MRSTRONG

this thread has been noend of fun ....

i like noaudi he seems a genuine guy , i mean its hard to tell these days but hes alright .


----------



## Conscript

Well you guys have made my first week of PCT that little bit more enjoyable, nodramas!!! YET......Lol


----------



## flinty90

ewen said:


> this thread has been noend of fun ....
> 
> i like noaudi he seems a genuine guy , i mean its hard to tell these days but hes alright .


 too right mate , hard to find the genuine types nowadays :whistling:

we are all going to hell when he posts a pic of himself sh4gging his page 3 model missus over the bonnet of his audi , with UKm tattood on his perfectly formed model a$$ lol


----------



## flinty90

Conscript said:


> Well you guys have made my first week of *PCT *that little bit more enjoyable, nodramas!!! YET......Lol


negged for foul language !!!


----------



## Breda

Conscript:2589412 said:


> Well you guys have made my first week of PCT that little bit more enjoyable, nodramas!!! YET......Lol


Noworries mate


----------



## Breda

flinty90:2589414 said:


> too right mate , hard to find the genuine types nowadays :whistling:
> 
> we are all going to hell when he posts a pic of himself sh4gging his page 3 model missus over the bonnet of his audi , with UKm tattood on his perfectly formed model a$$ lol


Noway will that happen flinty


----------



## Conscript

flinty90 said:


> negged for foul language !!!


Noyoudidn't!! OH YES HE DIDN'T!!!


----------



## Nocarbs

vduboli said:


> He's gone very quiet, do you think he's broken down on the M6 and left his Green Flag policy details at the dealers?
> 
> Or rather white flag?


Not gone quiet whilst all you bums are ****ing each other off on here I've been in a sales conference for vwfs 2013 initiative

I haven't had time to sit and write out uk m on paper an stand and have my photo taken. Ive better things to do


----------



## Matt 1

nobody no's nocarbs, not nobody, not notty nob nob :bounce: :bounce: hahaa


----------



## Trapps84

I wonder if he lies to feel better about having nofriends,


----------



## Matt 1

Nocarbs said:


> Not gone quiet whilst all you bums are ****ing each other off on here I've been in a *sales conference for vwfs 2013 initiative*
> 
> I haven't had time to sit and write out uk m on paper an stand and have my photo taken. Ive better things to do


Pics or it probably still didnt happen

haha im kidding mate, if you think about it, whether its true or not, your thread has served a lot of people laughs and giggles.. tbh nobody really knows anyone here (for the majority) so don't take it personally, we all love you really xx


----------



## Conscript

Nocarbs said:


> Nogone quiet whilst all you Nobums are ****ing each other off Non here I've been in a Nosales conference for vwfs 2013 Noinitiative
> 
> No-I haven't had Notime to Nosit and Nowrite out uk m on Nopaper an Nostand and have my Nophoto Notaken. Ive Nobetter things to do


Nofixing!


----------



## Trapps84

He's back nobody expected that


----------



## flinty90

Nocarbs said:


> Not gone quiet whilst all you bums are ****ing each other off on here I've been in a sales conference for vwfs 2013 initiative
> 
> I haven't had time to sit and write out uk m on paper an stand and have my photo taken. Ive better things to do


now that is classic sportsmanship lol continuing to lie in the face of adversity pmsl


----------



## Conscript

Nocarbs I really don't care either way, fib or Nofib............


----------



## Nocarbs

Trapps84 said:


> I wonder if he lies to feel better about having nofriends,


That's it. I live in my mum and dads basement. And have multiple gaming consoles and a **** off gaming chair with a vibrate option to get myself off whilst watching porn. I'm really 23st ginger and have zero mates. I'm unhappy with life


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> Not gone quiet whilst all you bums are ****ing each other off on here I've been on other forums trying to spin more bullsh1t yarns.
> 
> I haven't had time to sit and write out uk m on paper an stand and have my photo taken. Ive better things to do


fixed:thumb:


----------



## QUEST

Nocarbs said:


> Not gone quiet whilst all you bums are ****ing each other off on here I've been in a sales conference for vwfs 2013 initiative
> 
> I haven't had time to sit and write out uk m on paper an stand and have my photo taken. Ive better things to do


pics of the conference or did not happen


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> That's it. I live in my mum and dads basement. And have multiple gaming consoles and a **** off gaming chair with a vibrate option to get myself off whilst watching porn. I'm really 23st ginger and have zero mates. I'm unhappy with life


well at least youre willing to admit to it now mate.....

better to get it out in the open eh?


----------



## flinty90

Nocarbs said:


> That's it. I live in my mum and dads basement. And have multiple gaming consoles and a **** off gaming chair with a vibrate option to get myself off whilst watching porn. I'm really 23st ginger and have zero mates. I'm unhappy with life


at last we have the truth !!!


----------



## Nocarbs

andy said:


> well at least youre willing to admit to it now mate.....
> 
> better to get it out in the open eh?


Yes your right its always best to get it in the open

It's my last night on earth as this thread has totally shattered my confidence and I no longer can live the nightmares last night were unbearable. I can't go on


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> Yes your right its always best to get it in the open
> 
> It's my last night on earth as this thread has totally shattered my confidence and I no longer can live the nightmares last night were unbearable. I can't go on


good one.......i see no photos yet???

not even got 2 minutes to spare???


----------



## flinty90

Nocarbs said:


> Yes your right its always best to get it in the open
> 
> It's my last night on earth as this thread has totally shattered my confidence and I no longer can live the nightmares last night were unbearable. I can't go on


you sure you havent got time to get some paper now and go take a pic mate ??? or you busy defending yourself to all us wasters lol


----------



## Conscript

Nocarbs said:


> Yes your right its always best to get it in the open
> 
> It's my last night on earth as this thread has totally shattered my confidence and I no longer can live the nightmares last night were unbearable. I can't go on


Well stopLYINGthen!!!


----------



## Trapps84

He has nochance of convincing us now!

As Matt 1 said it's all good fun, nohard feelings

It's like a building site here it's great


----------



## flinty90

Conscript said:


> Well stopLYINGthen!!!


stop beating around the bush mate tell him how you feel pmsl !!!


----------



## Matt 1

I've cracked this thread.

Simple really, the answer was right infront of us the whole time..

He has nocarbs....he's a very unwell man, very confused and often hallucinates, this explains this thread very well.

I hope you lot all feel really awful!


----------



## Bricktop1436114614

so glad i randomly clicked on this post. never seen anyone so busted hahahaha quality.


----------



## Breda

Nocarbs:2589441 said:


> Not gone quiet whilst all you bums are ****ing each other off on here I've been in a sales conference for vwfs 2013 initiative
> 
> I haven't had time to sit and write out uk m on paper an stand and have my photo taken. Ive better things to do


Nosh!t Sherlock


----------



## flinty90

Bricktop said:


> so glad i randomly clicked on this post. *never seen anyone so busted* hahahaha quality.


you should check out hayesys ar$e after he has been raped .. thats pretty busted mate lol


----------



## Conscript

flinty90 said:


> stop beating around the bush mate tell him how you feel pmsl !!!


I laughed so hard at this thread it made my c0ck hurt!!! Seriously it does hurt!! LOLOL

I dunno why I'm feeling really giddy today!!


----------



## flinty90

Conscript said:


> I laughed so hard at this thread it made my c0ck hurt!!! Seriously it does hurt!! LOLOL
> 
> I dunno why I'm feeling really giddy today!!


me too mate i think mine is sleep depravation hahaha !!!


----------



## Breda

Conscript:2589491 said:


> I laughed so hard at this thread it made my c0ck hurt!!! Seriously it does hurt!! LOLOL
> 
> I dunno why I'm feeling really giddy today!!


All that jelquing and coco jabbing must be goin to your head


----------



## Trapps84

Come on everyone nocarbs is trying to join in, but Nobody is playing ball


----------



## Milky

I have a new Kangoo van if anyone wants pics, well mew to me. Its got a cd player, air con AND leccy windows IN A VAN !!

How awesome is that !


----------



## andy

ok guys....its all over....he just pm'ed me a pic taken an hour ago...



now give him a break eh?


----------



## Conscript

Breda said:


> All that jelquing and coco jabbing must be goin to your head


I'm prepping for tonights injection right now, which involves me staring at my slin for 10 minutes before hurting my peepee!! 1930 is kickoff so hopefully goes down by 2300, then quick half hour jelq then sleep by midnight!


----------



## andy

Milky said:


> I have a new Kangoo van if anyone wants pics, well mew to me. Its got a cd player, air con AND leccy windows IN A VAN !!
> 
> How awesome is that !


pics or youre pulling a nocarb....


----------



## Trapps84

I'm giving out and receiving likes like Nobodys business


----------



## Tasty

Hahahaha I love it, I love it, flinty you're 100% right we are definitely the best in internet security. Online bouncers. If you're names not down you're nocoming in.


----------



## Ashcrapper

the bloke in the photo of nocarbs on that other thread works for Volkswagen


----------



## Conscript

This should be a STICKY in the genCON section!!


----------



## QUEST




----------



## Readyandwaiting

good for you, hope it chokes you!

Just joking, happiness is a great feeling nice motor!


----------



## Conscript

Ashcrapper said:


> the bloke in the photo of nocarbs on that other thread works for Volkswagen


Good on him mate


----------



## andy

Readyandwaiting said:


> good for you, hope it chokes you!
> 
> Just joking, happiness is a great feeling nice motor!


didnt read the whole thread did you??


----------



## Conscript

Readyandwaiting said:


> good for you, hope it chokes you!
> 
> Just joking, happiness is a great feeling nice motor!


You clearly haven't read this thread have you? :lol:


----------



## lumix

Readyandwaiting said:


> good for you, hope it chokes you!
> 
> Just joking, happiness is a great feeling nice motor!


I'd have a look through the previous 18 pages of posts if I were you.

You might just change your mind!!


----------



## Conscript

andy said:


> didnt read the whole thread did you??


B&stard beat me too it!!!!!!!  :beer:


----------



## flinty90

NO Carbs i officially want to say something to you


----------



## Ashcrapper

Conscript said:


> Good on him mate


just saying, its on his facebook profile...


----------



## Nocarbs

flinty90 said:


> NO Carbs i officially want to say something to you


My dogs called Dave and he's a fat bastard too ;-)


----------



## Conscript

Ashcrapper said:


> just saying, its on his facebook profile...


So you think he's telling the truth, nothing but the truth, but maybe not the whole truth?


----------



## flinty90

Nocarbs said:


> My dogs called Dave and he's a fat bastard too ;-)


tut mate thats below the belt isnt it

Calling your fcukin dog Dave !!!


----------



## Ashcrapper

Conscript said:


> So you think he's telling the truth, nothing but the truth, but maybe not the whole truth?


I think he works at a dealership, that photo was him but he was a little economical with the truth on his opening post


----------



## m575

wow what a thread, lol i keep reading but as i catch up, another page is added.

but seriously i often get jealous of people that have such a vivid imagination.


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> My dogs called Dave and he's a fat bastard too ;-)


pics or youve really got a cat


----------



## QUEST

flinty90 said:


> NO Carbs i officially want to say something to you


liars always get caught out ,just nocarbs got caught out bit 2 fast .....he was sittin ther lastnite sayin look what av got an were all like .m8 that cars a fookin beast . was he sittin ther finkin haha soft cvnt believe me


----------



## Nocarbs

flinty90 said:


> tut mate thats below the belt isnt it
> 
> Calling your fcukin dog Dave !!!


Tell me about it


----------



## flinty90

andy said:


> pics or youve really got a cat


 i feel hurt that Nocarbs has overlooked everyone in this thread to call me a fat bastard ... im really upset ... (nocarbs)


----------



## Breda

Nocarbs:2589568 said:


> My dogs called Dave and he's a fat bastard too ;-)


My dogs called nocarbs and he hasn't got an Audi either


----------



## andy

flinty90 said:


> i feel hurt that Nocarbs has overlooked everyone in this thread to call me a fat bastard ... im really upset ... (nocarbs)


yeah, i fcukin know...nocarbs! call me an antagonistic d1ckhead or something!

spread the love.


----------



## Nocarbs

flinty90 said:


> i feel hurt that Nocarbs has overlooked everyone in this thread to call me a fat bastard ... im really upset ... (nocarbs)


I'm joking flinty nothin serious


----------



## flinty90

Nocarbs said:


> I'm joking flinty nothin serious


I know but but but but


----------



## Ashcrapper

flinty90 said:


> I know but but but but


hehe look at his widgey


----------



## vduboli

Nocarbs said:


> I'm joking flinty nothin serious


So you know I've been jokin too not on here to bully anyone but....are you just going to confess now


----------



## flinty90

Ashcrapper said:


> hehe look at his widgey


lol thats deep man real deep lol


----------



## Tasty

I've been trying to watch a bond film for so long now and I must have rewound this scene a million times, I'm laughing too hard at this thread (nocarbs)


----------



## Breda

flinty90:2589580 said:


> i feel hurt that Nocarbs has overlooked everyone in this thread to call me a fat bastard ... im really upset ... (nocarbs)


I got him back for you man

(nocarbs)


----------



## QUEST

toast..toast.. :beer:

sry not toast .. confession


----------



## flinty90

Breda said:


> I got him back for you man
> 
> (nocarbs)


whay what ya done to him bro you arent round there raping him are you ??? lol...


----------



## Nocarbs

Breda said:


> I got him back for you man
> 
> (nocarbs)


Hardly was a **** poor attempt of using something that was on previous pages. Try again


----------



## flinty90




----------



## Nocarbs

And asking if Breda was round raping me was a bit suggestive no ?


----------



## flinty90

Nocarbs said:


> And asking if Breda was round raping me was a bit suggestive no ?


i dont understand .. i was trying to find out how he had got you back as it wasnt apparent lol !!!


----------



## bdcc

On a serious note I bought an old Ferrari 360 Spider last week in black.

Google it, any image you find is mine.


----------



## Breda

Nocarbs:2589608 said:


> Hardly was a **** poor attempt of using something that was on previous pages. Try again


Nocarbs noneed to get so touchy I'm not liein the makes nosense.... I have a dog called nocarbs and he has no Audi (nocarbs)


----------



## lumix

Nocarbs said:


> And asking if Breda was round raping me was a bit suggestive no ?


Oh stop been so silly FFS


----------



## Nocarbs

flinty90 said:


> i dont understand .. i was trying to find out how he had got you back as it wasnt apparent lol !!!


Yea yeah sure.


----------



## Milky

Mate click on thread tools, click on delete and it will all go away..


----------



## flinty90

Nocarbs said:


> Yea yeah sure.


pmsl im very lost now !!!


----------



## flinty90

Milky said:


> Mate click on thread tools, click on delete and it will all go away..


noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


----------



## m575

they say a posh car is an extension of the penis dont they? now making up that you have a flash car must mean you have female genitals surely!!


----------



## Breda

Flinty why would I rape who has nocarbs that wud be a sh!t rape because he wouldn't have the energy to struggle


----------



## Tasty

I'm starting to feel bad now  it's not like I've got noheart


----------



## Nocarbs

Breda said:


> Flinty why would I rape who has nocarbs that wud be a sh!t rape because he wouldn't have the energy to struggle


Mate you couldn't rape yourself never mind about me


----------



## flinty90

Nocarbs said:


> Mate you couldn't rape yourself never mind about me


ahh come on mate you seem to be getting all shirty about this now .. its no fun when your not laughing !!!


----------



## bdcc

I think it is time to let this thread die, it will be locked anyhow. Let's save 'some' dignity lol.


----------



## retro-mental

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

This is one to remember in the future, Brilliant !!!!


----------



## flinty90

bdcc said:


> I think it is time to let this thread die, it will be locked anyhow. Let's save 'some' dignity lol.


i cant see why they would lock it mate , its in general section, no one is really insulting anyone. just trying to get to the truth lol !!!


----------



## bdcc

I thought supposed threats of rape were made and someone else took offence?

No? Carry on then I guess lol.


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> Mate you couldn't rape yourself never mind about me


he could if his c0cks big enough...wrap it round and push it up, then bite your fist and youre away!


----------



## flinty90

bdcc said:


> I thought supposed threats of rape were made and someone else took offence?
> 
> No? Carry on then I guess lol.


lol thats just breda mate , he is black so it doesnt count as thats how he always has sex, by rape pmsl ... its the rapper way im afraid..

i want nocarbs to just say he told a little fib..

and if he admits to it bieng a extension of the truth i will nominate him for member of the month lol !!!


----------



## husky

Thread of the year so far


----------



## Ashcrapper

bdcc said:


> I thought supposed threats of rape were made and someone else took offence?
> 
> No? Carry on then I guess lol.


just because someone got a bit rapey there is no need to go round locking threads now is there


----------



## Breda

Nocarbs:2589640 said:


> Mate you couldn't rape yourself never mind about me


If you carbed up I might give what you said some merit but as you're a nocarb having, no audi having, no avi having man I think I'll go fist myself and call it rape just to prove you wrong :lol:

Lighten up nocarbs man its all jokes no1gives a sh!t


----------



## Nocarbs

andy said:


> he could if his c0cks big enough...wrap it round and push it up, then bite your fist and youre away!


I'm 23 stone remember he'd have a monumental job pullin my **** apart plus I've not been able to wipe my own **** since I was 20


----------



## QUEST

andy said:


> he could if his c0cks big enough...wrap it round and push it up, then bite your fist and youre away!


haha:laugh: funny


----------



## Ashcrapper

Nocarbs said:


> I'm 23 stone remember he'd have a monumental job pullin my **** apart plus I've not been able to wipe my own **** since I was 20


the date was going great. then suddenly... she tensed up


----------



## flinty90

Nocarbs said:


> I'm 23 stone remember he'd have a monumental job pullin my **** apart plus I've not been able to wipe my own **** since I was 20 *stone*


 :tt2:


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> I'm 23 stone remember he'd have a monumental job pullin my **** apart plus I've not been able to stop talking sh1t since I was 20


fixed


----------



## flinty90

andy said:


> fixed


andy im starting to think your a bit of a sarcastic cnut pmsl . have you been on the fcukin tren mate X


----------



## Nocarbs

flinty90 said:


> andy im starting to think your a bit of a sarcastic cnut pmsl . have you been on the fcukin tren mate X


Can't of been I've seen girls bigger than him


----------



## Ashcrapper

Nocarbs said:


> Can't of been I've seen girls bigger than him


really seen your arse here havent you? deary me


----------



## flinty90

Nocarbs said:


> Can't of been I've seen girls bigger than him


PMSL thats the spirit mate lol !!!!

He got you there Andy im afraid pmsl


----------



## Nocarbs

Ashcrapper said:


> really seen your arse here havent you? deary me


Impossible not seen my **** or cock in over 10 years


----------



## Ashcrapper

Nocarbs said:


> Impossible not seen my **** or cock in over 10 years


thats the spirit


----------



## vduboli

I love how this has now taken away from the topic at hand!

How's the handling?


----------



## Nocarbs

vduboli said:


> I love how this has now taken away from the topic at hand!
> 
> How's the handling?


How's your mum


----------



## Breda

No need to ask about his mum she has norelevance to this thread


----------



## Nocarbs

Breda said:


> No need to ask about his mum she has norelevance to this thread


Saying you'll Rape me has no relevance either muddafooker


----------



## andy

flinty90 said:


> PMSL thats the spirit mate lol !!!!
> 
> He got you there Andy im afraid pmsl


no mate he got me through you....

he wouldnt stand a chance with me....


----------



## Tasty

Nocarbs said:


> Saying you'll Rape me has no relevance either muddafooker


Me and breda will take a side each mate, we'll get so deep people will think we're a mansize minstrel sweet


----------



## Ashcrapper

Nocarbs said:


> Saying you'll Rape me has no relevance either muddafooker


be flattered. hes never said he will rape me. bastard


----------



## flinty90

Nocarbs said:


> Saying you'll Rape me has no relevance either muddafooker


you do realise he isnt really going to rape you mate , no matter how much you want it to happen lol...


----------



## flinty90

andy said:


> no mate he got me through you....
> 
> he wouldnt stand a chance with me....


well im glad i could help pmsl !!!


----------



## Nocarbs

flinty90 said:


> you do realise he isnt really going to rape you mate , no matter how much you want it to happen lol...


Good cause id whoops shafts ****


----------



## Tasty

Ashcrapper said:


> be flattered. hes never said he will rape me. bastard


I think YOU'VE had enough Mr. Rapeyface xx


----------



## Conscript

I'm so lazy that I just used a biro pen to stir my coffee rather than walk back to the kitchen for a spoon............ :ban:


----------



## flinty90

Conscript said:


> I'm so lazy that I just used a biro pen to stir my coffee rather than walk back to the kitchen for a spoon............ :ban:


hardcore !!


----------



## Guest

Conscript said:


> I'm so lazy that I just used a biro pen to stir my coffee rather than walk back to the kitchen for a spoon............ :ban:


Pics or BS


----------



## Ashcrapper

Tasty said:


> I think YOU'VE had enough Mr. Rapeyface xx


can never have enough


----------



## flinty90

R0B said:


> Pics or BS


dont you fcukin start aswell lol !!!


----------



## Conscript

See..................................OH WAIT HAVE I BEEN BUSTED!?!


----------



## andy

IM so lazy i cant even be @rsed typiiungjv vbvmbg.bq.gtr.nsfnfsbhaseurfvuiiavifafvhabvhbvhkjdbn


----------



## Guest

Conscript said:


> View attachment 66987
> See..................................OH WAIT HAVE I BEEN BUSTED!?!


Yeah you have.... You said coffee


----------



## QUEST

frozen planet is on in a min .........just sayin


----------



## Guest

flinty90 said:


> dont you fcukin start aswell lol !!!


Hehehe, I'll not


----------



## Breda

Nocarbs:2589714 said:


> Saying you'll Rape me has no relevance either muddafooker


I was simply replying to the suggestion but I said it would b a sh!te rape cos u wouldn't have the energy to struggle


----------



## andy

roblee said:


> frozen planet is on in a min .........just sayin


ill be watching in glorious HD


----------



## Ashcrapper

Breda said:


> I was simply replying to the suggestion but I said it would b a sh!te rape cos u wouldn't have the energy to struggle


so "surprise sex" really


----------



## Guest

andy said:


> ill be watching in glorious HD


Pics or BS 

(good old copy and paste)


----------



## Trapps84

I left the forum for an hour and now reading on a phone and pages are turning up as soon as I've read one,

I have Nochance in keeping up


----------



## andy

R0B said:


> Pics or BS
> 
> (good old copy and paste)


pics of you copy and pasting or BS...(nocarbs)


----------



## QUEST

andy said:


> ill be watching in glorious HD


are you deffo sure its hd


----------



## andy

Breda said:


> I was simply replying to the suggestion but I said it would b a sh!te rape cos u wouldn't have the energy to struggle


if I was going to be assraped, who better than breda to be doing it??? might as well do it properly instead of someone whos going to be knackered halfway through eh?


----------



## Guest

andy said:


> pics of you copy and pasting or BS...(nocarbs)





















 X


----------



## andy

roblee said:


> are you deffo sure its hd
> View attachment 66988


ok ok.....i say HD....i really mean looking in next doors window using a series of carefully positioned mirrors to get a view of their analogue black and white 12" screen.......my bad.


----------



## andy

R0B said:


> X


fcuk.


----------



## QUEST

get on to that penguin..


----------



## andy

roblee said:


> get on to that penguin..


thieving wee penguin [email protected]


----------



## Trapps84

Finally caught up Noway I thought I would.

This threads gone so far from were it started, were it goes nobody no's


----------



## QUEST

fink were all just watcin tv for a bit .................we get back to tackin the p1ss in a bit ..dont worry :rolleye:


----------



## Ste7n

This forum is awsome, so much drama going on, compulsive liars, you gotta love them lol:laugh: Hats off to the main character's in this thread...


----------



## flinty90

Trapps84 said:


> Finally caught up Noway I thought I would.
> 
> This threads gone so far from were it started, were it goes nobody no's


*
Just to recap mate lol*

*
A Lie was born *



Nocarbs said:


> Well it's been on order for 9 months and finally got her this morning.
> 
> My lovely Audi RS5 in white.
> 
> Yes I'm gloating ;-)


*he got found out *

*
*



flinty90 said:


> NO Carbs i officially want to say something to you


*
and here we are pmsl* !!!


----------



## vduboli

Hahahahahahaha I have no idea how she handles mate...

A bit like you have no idea how an Audi S5 handles...


----------



## Trapps84

I think we all have to thank andy, if it was not for his 110% effort for making holes in the original topic of this thread we never would of had this epic chops.

I think there should be a room just for insults created no limits all in good hart.

Nocarbs good sport started to crack a couple of times but not to far. There's Nopoint me saying who's slateing skills were the there were so many.

So now nocarbs if you wouldn't mind ..........TELL THE F-ING TRUTH


----------



## Breda

andy:2589773 said:


> if I was going to be assraped, who better than breda to be doing it??? might as well do it properly instead of someone whos going to be knackered halfway through eh?


Thanks mate I'm touched

I'll make sure a fill up on carbs before hand so I can hammer your star to kingdom come

@ ashcrapper.... Surprise sex... Isn't this how its always done


----------



## Trapps84

flinty90 said:


> *
> Just to recap mate lol*
> 
> *
> A Lie was born *
> 
> *he got found out *
> 
> *
> *
> 
> *
> and here we are pmsl* !!!


after I read this I cried and my girlfriend actually came over to check if I was alright,


----------



## flinty90

Trapps84 said:


> I think we all have to thank andy, if it was not for his 110% effort for making holes in the original topic of this thread we never would of had this epic chops.
> 
> I think there should be a room just for insults created no limits all in good hart.
> 
> Nocarbs good sport started to crack a couple of times but not to far.* There's Nopoint me saying who's slateing skills were the there were so many*.
> 
> So now nocarbs if you wouldn't mind ..........TELL THE F-ING TRUTH


definitely a forum united there mate pmsl !!!


----------



## QUEST

Trapps84 said:


> after I read this I cried and my girlfriend actually came over to check if I was alright,


pics of ye bird or you not got 1:laugh:


----------



## Breda

Pics of you takin pics of your bird holding a piece of paper sayin I love UK-m and Breda (nocarbs) or its not true


----------



## Ste7n

We can all learn something from this, if your going to make up stories, don't use pictures from google...fail


----------



## Trapps84

roblee said:


> pics of ye bird or you not got 1:laugh:


 I'm f!cked I don't think I can upload of this iPhone,

I'm going to be notrapps when andy gets involved!


----------



## Jonna79

40 mins later.....what a read!!


----------



## Conscript

Jonna79 said:


> 40 mins later.....what a read!!


usure??? I'm calling bs!!!


----------



## TrainingwithMS

Haha I thought I'd check in once work got quiet to see what had beengoing on and see this fking thing has almost doubled in size overnight (bit like nocar's nose :001_tt2: )

There should be a 'Best of UK-M' board where threads like this can be kept for posterity and to remind people not to try and fvck with the internet police :lol:



I've just been clicking like it seems like every other post for the last 20 minutes!!!


----------



## Breda

Conscript:2589906 said:


> usure??? I'm calling bs!!!


I match your bs and raise you a niggleing doubt


----------



## Zangief

LOL this threads jokes man read up to 16 yesterday, finished it now and wow... ****ing myself


----------



## Conscript

Breda said:


> I match your bs and raise you a niggleing doubt


I fold!!! I just don't have the chips, but I reckon he probably skimmed it or he would of handed me a like if read in full!! :confused1:


----------



## lumix

Suprakill4 said:


> You must have missed Irish Raver's thread about his missus passing out in her own party, now THAT was a thread!


ha ha, yes that was a truely epic thread.

This one's not far off though. If nocarbs bites a few more times it could be in a tie for the best thread of 2011!!

Come on nocarbs, you're not going to take all this crap off these loosers are you??? fight, fight, fight:lol:


----------



## vduboli

You could just take a pic of the V5..obviously we would need to see the owners name as nocarbs or noaudi...


----------



## Tasty

Yeah but there's been noposts for a while


----------



## andy

Trapps84 said:


> I'm f!cked I don't think I can upload of this iPhone,
> 
> I'm going to be notrapps when andy gets involved!


pics of the iphone or youre fcuked.....


----------



## Conscript

I've just been for a lovely walk, the stars are really clear tonight!


----------



## QUEST

if your still up ther any chance of a push av broke down

i was comin down the m6 heard a bang ...an just pulled over some were safe


----------



## Jux

This was eye-wateringly brutal to see. I feel like I've witnessed a crime.


----------



## Conscript

roblee said:


> View attachment 67005
> 
> 
> if your still up ther any chance of a push av broke down
> 
> i was comin down the m6 heard a bang ...an just pulled over some were safe


On my way dude, do you want anything from kfc drive-thru as it's on-route?


----------



## koicarp

nice car well done. where do u live is it in a garage at night . have you a dog lol whats the insurance on it .


----------



## Conscript

koicarp said:


> nice car well done. where do u live is it in a garage at night . have you a dog lol whats the insurance on it .


Now you haven't read the thread through, have you? Lol


----------



## Trapps84

andy said:


> pics of the iphone or youre fcuked.....


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/58/Nokia_5110.jpg/250px-Nokia_5110.jpg


----------



## stuart.s

fuk me man that was entertaining!!

i just dont get people who are like this obviousley got some issues with there self esteem or somethin!!

thanks uk muscle security for an hour of laughing like fuk!!


----------



## TrainingwithMS

Conscript said:


> On my way dude, do you want anything from kfc drive-thru as it's on-route?
> 
> View attachment 67007


I did fly passed you both but Branson said and I quote 'Fk those cnuts in their cheap machines we've got to get to the island as Hef has just landed with the girls and I've already popped my Viagra'

Sorry boys I tried to help you out :whistling:


----------



## Conscript

TrainingwithMS said:


> I did fly passed you both but Branson said and I quote 'Fk those cnuts in their cheap machines we've got to get to the island as Hef has just landed with the girls and I've already popped my Viagra'
> 
> Sorry boys I tried to help you out :whistling:


It's OK mate, my best pal Roman has invited me to his yacht party in the south of earth so am saving myself for this, just a cup of Nocarbs coco and read next weeks paper tonight.


----------



## Trapps84

Hurry up trainingwithms my dicks going to fall off If you & hef don't step in soon


----------



## Tasty

stuart.s said:


> fuk me man that was entertaining!!
> 
> i just dont get people who are like this obviousley got some issues with there self esteem or somethin!!
> 
> thanks uk muscle security for an hour of laughing like fuk!!


Don't thank us ma'am, just doing our job.


----------



## gym rat

Aw man. This was cringe worthy reading. You guys are cnuts lol funny cnuts i myt add. Brutal


----------



## Conscript

gym rat said:


> Aw man. This was cringe worthy reading. You guys are cnuts lol funny cnuts i myt add. Brutal


Can't stop mate, got an appointment with Jesus...


----------



## Matt090

Fcuk Me that was a funny read

Any one who reads my comment go back to page 1 and start there

WORTH IT


----------



## Mr_Morocco

lol some funny sh*t to read first thing in morning haha

never had you down as a batty boy though breda..you may aswell start posting in the "im straight thread.." after all that rape talk


----------



## Guest




----------



## Trapps84

Dave said:


>


Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha, I can't count the amount of times that this thread has made me shed a tear


----------



## Mr_Morocco

Dave said:


>


ahahahahahahahahaha fkin hell what a legend repped


----------



## Snorbitz1uk

I take it Nocarbs has booked himself a test drive at audi today, he has been ringing round to see who has a white s5 demonstrator


----------



## vduboli

Snorbitz1uk said:


> I take it Nocarbs has booked himself a test drive at audi today, he has been ringing round to see who has a white s5 demonstrator


He'll have nochance...


----------



## Ginger Ben

Afghan said:


> lol some funny sh*t to read first thing in morning haha
> 
> *never had you down as a batty boy though breda..*you may aswell start posting in the "im straight thread.." after all that rape talk


Mate they haven't made a closet big enough to contain him!


----------



## Breda

Ginger [URL=Ben:2590310]Ben:2590310[/URL] said:


> Mate they haven't made a closet big enough to contain him!


Lol fellas I was just goin with the flow, there will be nomore talks of man rape from me.... Unless he's been eating some rice or spuds PMSL (nocarbs)


----------



## illegaldanish

Nice car, bro. Bet your loving it.


----------



## Breda

illegaldanish:2590329 said:


> Nice car, bro. Bet your loving it.


Read the thread


----------



## VeNuM

I think the real problem here is that you have Nocar


----------



## Matt090

what i dont get it it wont be that hard to find some pics of this car on the net not on google images that we may have believed...

i would have at least tryed! he gave up way to easy


----------



## Trapps84

Nocarbs had Noclue that Notruth would go Nowere but Notrust & Nofaith in No,uncertain terms Nobody will trust his NOnsense, all it will take is to Nowhen no,one is falling for your NOrmal ways of Nofact.............

So please this is my last attempt to convince you to tell the truth and all will be forgiven or................ I will force feed you rice and potato till your carbed up enough for Breda,so he can fill you with man fat and stretch your hoop so far that for the near future you'll be blowing spunk rings out of your wrecked ballon knott...

think i better put a disclaimer

(this thread is for comic value and not of genuine meaning)


----------



## Nocarbs

VeNuM said:


> I think the real problem here is that you have Nocar


I have no cock either


----------



## Nocarbs

Trapps84 said:


> Nocarbs had Noclue that Notruth would go Nowere but Notrust & Nofaith in No,uncertain terms Nobody will trust his NOnsense, all it will take is to Nowhen no,one is falling for your NOrmal ways of Nofact.............
> 
> So please this is my last attempt to convince you to tell the truth and all will be forgiven or................ I will force feed you rice and potato till your carbed up enough for Breda,so he can fill you with man fat and strech your hoop so far that for the near future you'll be blowing spunk rings out of your wrecked ballon knott


Oh my god amazing


----------



## Guest

Nocarbs said:


> I have no cock either


So yea i skipped a few pages... What do you drive a 2cv or something?


----------



## vduboli

He's back with us!


----------



## Breda

Nocarbs said:


> I have no cock either


*nocock* mate... you've started a trend


----------



## GolDeNGaTe

Meeeep!!!

Someones a retard......

Ill give you guys 3 guesses... (the first two aren't included though cos it's easy)


----------



## Nocarbs

willsy said:


> So yea i skipped a few pages... What do you drive a 2cv or something?


1991 Larda FSH 60,000 from new ;-)


----------



## Trapps84

Nocarbs said:


> 1991 Larda FSH 60,000 from new ;-)


is that the model they fitted the heated rear windscreen to keep your hands warm when your pushing it?


----------



## vduboli

Nocarbs said:


> 1991 Larda FSH 60,000 from new ;-)


Pic or its BS


----------



## BIG BUCK

Even if the whole rs5 thing is true are you saying it's a demo you are driving as a company car?

Meaning you haven't bought it out right?


----------



## VeNuM

BB2 said:


> Even if the whole rs5 thing is true are you saying it's a demo you are driving as a company car?
> 
> Meaning you haven't bought it out right?


Noone knows and your not supposed to ask.


----------



## BIG BUCK

Sorry I forgot, no price talk, forum rules!


----------



## armelec

Well i've just joined, and this is the first thread i read.. that was entertaining.. haha


----------



## Fatstuff

Funny thread


----------



## husky




----------



## Ste7n

To be honest i admire nocarbs for his overactive mind, it was a very good fictional account of having a s5 on his doorstep... And you can tell he's into his naked male avi's, whether he looks the same i very much doubt...


----------



## vduboli

SouthPaw said:


> To be honest i admire nocarbs for his overactive mind, it was a very good fictional account of having a s5 on his doorstep... And you can tell he's into his naked male avi's, whether he looks the same i very much doubt...


maybe a pic of both his audi and bod would save him here!?

If I was him i would run out find the nearest white S5 white uk-m on a piece of paper and take my top off and ask someone to take a pic....would almost certainly regain what little dignity he has left!


----------



## Trapps84

husky said:


>


 nocarbs wants to lay of the d-Bol deca stack he's on!

Seriously though I've had more meat in a quorn burger than that


----------



## Nocarbs

Trapps84 said:


> nocarbs wants to lay of the d-Bol deca stack he's on!
> 
> Seriously though I've had more meat in a quorn burger than that


Been reading your posts over the last few pages and you quite brave behind a computer give me your address and say the same things to my face


----------



## Guest

495 likes on this thread!


----------



## Conscript

willsy said:


> 495 likes on this thread!


Noanymore!


----------



## vduboli

Nocarbs said:


> Been reading your posts over the last few pages and you quite brave behind a computer give me your address and say the same things to my face


There's noneed to be like that...this is the kind of thing that will get the thread shut!

We are only kidding with you like you have been kidding with us!!


----------



## Breda

Notraps please do we need pictures pmsl


----------



## Trapps84

Nocarbs said:


> Been reading your posts over the last few pages and you quite brave behind a computer give me your address and say the same things to my face


Sssssssssoooorrrry nocarbs I won't do it again I promise.


----------



## Fatstuff

Nocarbs said:


> Been reading your posts over the last few pages and you quite brave behind a computer give me your address and say the same things to my face


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


----------



## QUEST

Nocarbs said:


> Been reading your posts over the last few pages and you quite brave behind a computer give me your address and say the same things to my face


pic of ye face or you not got 1

no need for that kind of talk he's messin ...just like you was at the begining..


----------



## Nocarbs

vduboli said:


> There's noneed to be like that...this is the kind of thing that will get the thread shut!
> 
> We are only kidding with you like you have been kidding with us!!


To be fair the majority have and it's been funny to read but that brave bellend has taken things to far so let's see if he's as brave in real life.


----------



## 2004mark

Nosenseofhumour said:


> Been reading your posts over the last few pages and you quite brave behind a computer give me your address and say the same things to my face


----------



## Nocarbs

Trapps84 said:


> Sssssssssoooorrrry nocarbs I won't do it again I promise.


I'm not saying stop am I ya dick. I'm saying tell me where you are and lets see if your still the funny man


----------



## Lewis92

you get your Jiro today mate?


----------



## Breda

Nocarbs you seem a bit grumpy... Maybe you should get some carbs in your diet and cheer up


----------



## ASOC5

andy said:


> the guy at crawley audi says theyve had it there for ages??? (thats where the pics were taken from)


bit late to this thread but as if your actualy that sad that you got in touch with the car dealership to find out


----------



## Trapps84

Really nocarbs you have NOsense of humour


----------



## apple

Nocarbs said:


> I'm not saying stop am I ya dick. I'm saying tell me where you are and lets see if your still the funny man


lol here we go ....internet big man ...chill out mate its the intertet ffs ...i only read the first few pages so ill ask now -

is the car really yours or were you pulling everyones leg ?


----------



## stuart.s

grow up


----------



## Nocarbs

apple said:


> lol here we go ....internet big man ...chill out mate its the intertet ffs ...i only read the first few pages so ill ask now -
> 
> is the car really yours or were you pulling everyones leg ?


I'm. Not being a big Internet man I'll quite happily give my two cent in person.


----------



## Fatstuff

i think this thread should be closed now


----------



## apple

Nocarbs said:


> I'm. Not being a big Internet man I'll quite happily give my two cent in person.


its your own doing ,you shouldent have lied like you did .what did you expect?


----------



## Guest

Lewis92 said:


> you get your Jiro today mate?


Dont think hes on the dole god hes just baught a brand new audi didnt you read the first post?!?

Pffft


----------



## Shady45

Fatstuff said:


> i think this thread should be closed now


NO


----------



## vduboli

Fatstuff said:


> i think this thread should be closed now


Why its just getting going for another evenings entertainment!!


----------



## Shady45

I reckon after this thread gets shut down Nocarbs will start a new one titled boom with proof that he has the body of a god and an audi that only the finest can afford, so F U haters


----------



## Guest

Fatstuff said:


> i think this thread should be closed now


Probably right mate, somebodys going to end up with a broken keyboard


----------



## Fatstuff

vduboli said:


> Why its just getting going for another evenings entertainment!!


as much as i like a good lynching, its a bit mean on the fella


----------



## Breda

Fatstuff said:


> i think this thread should be closed now


 :nono:


----------



## apple




----------



## QUEST

Fatstuff said:


> as much as i like a good lynching, its a bit mean on the fella


mite be a laddddddyyyyyyyyy ...no one knows any more cant trust him let us all down ...let him self down most of all ....tut tut tut...

sry but its true:001_tt2:


----------



## 2004mark

Nocarbs said:


> I'm. Not being a big Internet man I'll quite happily give my two cent in person.


Maybe you should ask him to write his address on a bit of paper and take a picture of it in his windscreen... not sure why, the idea just came to mind for some strange reason :whistling:


----------



## Guest

roblee said:


> mite be a laddddddyyyyyyyyy ...no one knows any more cant trust him let us all down ...let him self down most of all ....tut tut tut...
> 
> sry but its true:001_tt2:


Thats the worst...

Youve let me down, youve let your parents down but most of all, you have let yourself down...

Hated being told off like that


----------



## Shady45

willsy said:


> Thats the worst...
> 
> Youve let me down, youve let your parents down but most of all, you have let yourself down...
> 
> Hated being told off like that


I am not angry, I am just dissapointed.

The worst line eveerrrr


----------



## 2004mark

willsy said:


> Thats the worst...
> 
> Youve let me down, youve let your parents down but most of all, you have let yourself down...
> 
> Hated being told off like that


Ha, I was always pleased with that one... talk about getting let off lightly lol


----------



## Trapps84

Carbs I don't want this shut down so I'm sorry Noneed to cry about it. Feel free to rip into me if you want.

If that's not good enough I live on the ashdown forest eastsussex when you've got there give me a mail and I'll meet you, I reckon it will take 4hrs from Manchester to get here...oh actually you've got an rs5 you'll be here in three in that thing


----------



## Nocarbs

Fatstuff said:


> as much as i like a good lynching, its a bit mean on the fella


Nah doesn't bother me to be fair


----------



## Breda

nocarbs and notrapps need to have an internet scrap and we'll make an internet circle and keep an eye out for the mods


----------



## Nocarbs

Breda said:


> nocarbs and notrapps need to have an internet scrap and we'll make an internet circle and keep an eye out for the mods


Haha bring it I'd whoop his ass on here. That's whoop Breda not rape


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> Been reading your posts over the last few pages and you quite brave behind a computer give me your address and say the same things to my face


christ all fckin mighty


----------



## Fatstuff

Nocarbs said:


> Haha bring it I'd rape his ass on here. That's rape Breda not whoop


fixed


----------



## andy

ASOC5 said:


> bit late to this thread but as if your actualy that sad that you got in touch with the car dealership to find out


correct my friend...

i am most definitely NOT sad.

its called "calling your bluff"


----------



## QUEST

al keep dixxys if i see any mod the code word is .no audi num nuts..an every one just act normal:wacko:


----------



## Breda

Nocarbs said:


> Haha bring it I'd whoop his ass on here. That's whoop Breda not rape


don't know what you're talkin about mate :whistling:


----------



## Guest

2004mark said:


> Ha, I was always pleased with that one... talk about getting let off lightly lol


Na mate a belt round the ass hurts for a min, this makes you feel guilty for ages!


----------



## Conscript

Tell us a funny story Nocarbs...


----------



## ASOC5

andy said:


> correct my friend...
> 
> i am most definitely NOT sad.
> 
> its called "calling your bluff"


as if you actually went to the effort of calling his bluff though


----------



## MRSTRONG

Nocarbs said:


> Been reading your posts over the last few pages and you quite brave behind a computer give me your address and say the same things to my face


Come see me .... I train at ministry of muscle maidstone kent 

Any of you guys are welcome for a training session


----------



## vduboli

Conscript said:


> Tell us a funny story Nocarbs...


Have you heard the one about a new white S5?


----------



## Conscript

When I leave the Mob next year I'll be living back in bromley, not too far is it? My uncle lives in Chatham and travels to london everyday so can't be that far.


----------



## andy

step inside boys.....

i want a good clean fight....

no punching below the desk......

let me just check your keyboards.......

DING DING!!


----------



## retro-mental

jeez nocarbs you should be repping these people, there making you a god dam forum legend. People like you do not get forgotten easily !!!!!


----------



## andy

ASOC5 said:


> as if you actually went to the effort of calling his bluff though


i did go to the effort mate...thats how i roll.

who are you btw?...nocarbs brother or something?


----------



## Conscript

retro-mental said:


> jeez nocarbs you should be repping these people, there making you a god dam forum legend. People like you do not get forgotten easily !!!!!


Nearly ten thousand hits so far, this is INTERNET LEGEND territory!! :laugh:


----------



## Nocarbs

Conscript said:


> Tell us a funny story Nocarbs...


When I was younger I stole my father's identity, obtained a credit card, and took my friends on a whirlwind-shopping spree of video games, electronic gadgets and two £1,000-an-hour hookers. And I didn't hire them for a night of wild sex. I only needed someone to play some Halo with me as I've got to small of a cock to use it anyway


----------



## Trapps84

What you saying then nocarbs, or is it a nogo?


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> When I was younger I stole my father's identity, obtained a credit card, and took my friends on a whirlwind-shopping spree of video games, electronic gadgets and two £1,000-an-hour hookers. And I didn't hire them for a night of wild sex. I only needed someone to play some Halo with me as I've got to small of a cock to use it anyway


not a TRUE story mate.....

make something funny up


----------



## Breda

All we need now is for nocarbs to change his avi to an empty car space and I'm callin for a sticky


----------



## Conscript

Nocarbs said:


> When I was younger I stole my father's identity, obtained a credit card, and took my friends on a whirlwind-shopping spree of video games, electronic gadgets and two £1,000-an-hour hookers. And I didn't hire them for a night of wild sex. I only needed someone to play some Halo with me as I've got to small of a cock to use it anyway


That was a pretty sh1tty thing to do tbh, do you want me to source you some PGE-1???


----------



## lumix

Nocarbs said:


> When I was younger I stole my father's identity, obtained a credit card, and took my friends on a whirlwind-shopping spree of video games, electronic gadgets and two £1,000-an-hour hookers. And I didn't hire them for a night of wild sex. I only needed someone to play some Halo with me as I've got to small of a cock to use it anyway


When people tell you to start telling the truth we mean about the car, not a random childhood incident.

It's a start I suppose.


----------



## andy

Breda said:


> All we need now is for nocarbs to change his avi to an empty car space and I'm callin for a sticky


haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa x2


----------



## Bricktop1436114614

Not having the audi as made you more famous then actually having it. if they did a 'rudeforum' just like 'rudetube' on channel 4, u would be number 1! LEGEND


----------



## Nocarbs

:confused1:


----------



## Conscript

:lol: that's the spirit! :beer: ...................................


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> :confused1:


a fcuking good sport imo.

bit grumpy tho.


----------



## QUEST

Nocarbs said:


> :confused1:


is this a cofession ...fank you an good nite


----------



## Nocarbs

thanks guys, this thread has made me silver


----------



## Nocarbs

roblee said:


> is this a cofession ...fank you an good nite


No just playing along


----------



## DiggyV

ewen said:


> Come see me .... I train at ministry of muscle maidstone kent
> 
> Any of you guys are welcome for a training session


Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight.....

(sorry... :lol: )


----------



## Nocarbs

ewen said:


> Come see me .... I train at ministry of muscle maidstone kent
> 
> Any of you guys are welcome for a training session


Good for you, but why do I care where you train ??? I wasnt talking to you richard o Brian ;-) joke


----------



## Big ape

The title of this post looks so inviting yet u come in here and see him getting exposed then ripped to pieces for 30 pages LOL


----------



## QUEST

who is richard o brian


----------



## MRSTRONG

Nocarbs said:


> Good for you, but why do I care where you train ??? I wasnt talking to you richard o Brian ;-) joke


like your new avi .


----------



## MRSTRONG

roblee said:


> who is richard o brian


think its meant to be an insult but richard obrian owns an audi rs5 .


----------



## DiggyV

the guys that played Riff Raff in Rocky Horror (and wrote it), amongst other things...


----------



## retro-mental

get the mods to change your name to noaudi and your getting nominated for member of the month !!!!!


----------



## DiggyV

ewen said:


> think its meant to be an insult but richard obrian owns an audi rs5 .


Nah - he probably owns something decent!


----------



## Breda

Na just drop the b off your name and change your avi to a carless parking space and youve got my vote and 5 reps


----------



## lumix

Nocarbs said:


> :confused1:


I like it - if you can't beat em, join em eh... Top man!

And also a post were you are not threatening to go round someones estate and fill them in - again well done


----------



## QUEST

DiggyV said:


> View attachment 67050
> 
> 
> the guys that played Riff Raff in Rocky Horror (and wrote it), amongst other things...


bit harsh callin someone richard o brian .. what kind of game you playin here


----------



## Trapps84

still upset that he offered me out and then i gave him what he wanted and then he said nomore


----------



## Trapps84

atleast it seems to of sunk in it was all abit fun


----------



## Bricktop1436114614

well i think this threads diein a slow death, been very funny and educational...i have learnt to pay the same attention to Nocarbs advice as i do DSlondons.


----------



## Patsy

TBH im not gonna troll through 30 odd pages as im fcuking knackered, So... Do you have new Audi Yes or No?


----------



## Bricktop1436114614

oh yes, and dont lie on UKmuscle, someone will go that extra mile to catch you out, and if they do, well your gonna get a 33 and a half page flammin


----------



## lumix

PatWelsh said:


> TBH im not gonna troll through 30 odd pages as im fcuking knackered, So... Do you have new Audi Yes or No?


----------



## Patsy

lumix said:


> View attachment 67052


Nojoke :lol:


----------



## apple

we can clealy say that nocarbs holds the ttile for the biggest bull sh itter of the year


----------



## VeNuM

Conscript said:


> Nearly ten thousand hits so far, this is INTERNET LEGEND territory!! :laugh:


Ive seen this linked on another forum already


----------



## BodyBuilding101

Surprised this thread is still going!


----------



## Ashcrapper

VeNuM said:


> Ive seen this linked on another forum already


  hehe nice


----------



## vduboli

Ashcrapper said:


> hehe nice


Un real who the hell lies about ownership of a car? Funny ****!


----------



## Conscript

Nice bro - What litre engine is it?


----------



## vduboli

Seems to have died...great while it lasted!


----------



## aesthetics4ever

Well I must say when I first posted in this thread I really did envy nocar. But now I just think he's a loser. Pathetic really, I just don't understand it.


----------



## VeNuM

radicalry00 said:


> Well I must say when I first posted in this thread I really did envy nocar. But now I just think he's a loser. Pathetic really, I just don't understand it.


He gave the idea, nothought


----------



## TrainingwithMS

Keep it alive but next time he offers someone a home visit to see if they're as funny in real life said member should accept....

At least that way we get to find out what car he drives or what car his mum drops him off in


----------



## RiZzah

2 posts is just not necessary :stupid:


----------



## RiZzah

> Pathetic really, I just don't understand it.


it's called an inferiority complex and going off his facebook picture he uploaded its clear why he feels inadequate!

PS NOcarbs you get that for dissing on my avi.. Savvy!


----------



## Nocarbs

Confession time


----------



## flinty90

Nocarbs said:


> Confession time


hit us with it mate....


----------



## QUEST

Nocarbs said:


> Confession time


every one gather round


----------



## Guest

roblee said:


> every one gather round


Sshh sshh, I hear the winds of change .........


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> Confession time


dont be shy.......


----------



## miggs

Go on I need to leave the office but I can't till u have said it!!!


----------



## Guest

miggs said:


> Go on I need to leave the office but I can't till u have said it!!!


There's dedication


----------



## Breda

Nocarbs said:


> Confession time


thats 1 rep all you need to do now is drop the bs

from yoour name and you'll get the other 4 as promised


----------



## QUEST

Nocarbs said:


> Confession time


----------



## Ashcrapper

got me cock out.


----------



## flinty90

Ashcrapper said:


> got me cock out.


i thought it was a thread hanging from your zipper lol !!!


----------



## miggs

Ur at it again!! Winding us up????


----------



## andy

FFS...COME ONNNNNN!!!!!!!!

IVE GOT COME DINE WITH ME ON PAUSE FOR THIS FCUKING REVELATION!!!


----------



## Nocarbs

Ok don't ask what went through my head posting the other day an clearly wasn't thinking the impact it would create in making me look a tool. However 33 pages later and all kudos lost I've probably become uk m biggest loser haha.

I do work for vw / Audi financial services and I drive a new sirroco GT 170 black edition.

So half was truth.


----------



## miggs




----------



## Guest

I bet he's got an S3 in white .....

Or he's kurbed the wheels!


----------



## flinty90

Nocarbs said:


> Ok don't ask what went through my head posting the other day an clearly wasn't thinking the impact it would create in making me look a tool. However 33 pages later and all kudos lost I've probably become uk m biggest loser haha.
> 
> I do work for vw / Audi financial services and I drive a new sirroco GT 170 black edition.
> 
> So half was truth.


do you have pics of that car ???


----------



## 6ft4Dan

Lolz...


----------



## RiZzah

You are a...


----------



## 6ft4Dan

Nocarbs said:


> Ok don't ask what went through my head posting the other day an clearly wasn't thinking the impact it would create in making me look a tool. However 33 pages later and all kudos lost I've probably become uk m biggest loser haha.
> 
> I do work for vw / Audi financial services and I drive a new sirroco GT 170 black edition.
> 
> So half was truth.


Pics or nocar..


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


> Ok don't ask what went through my head posting the other day an clearly wasn't thinking the impact it would create in making me look a tool. However 33 pages later and all kudos lost I've probably become uk m biggest loser haha.
> 
> I do work for vw / Audi financial services and I drive a new sirroco GT 170 black edition.
> 
> So half was truth.


pics or BS


----------



## andy

a fantastic finish to a legendary thread.......


----------



## bdcc

Making up a lie on a forum to what car you drive?

I dread to think the lies you tell girls in the bars.

This is pathetic.


----------



## Guest

Nocarbs said:


> Ok don't ask what went through my head posting the other day an clearly wasn't thinking the impact it would create in making me look a tool. However 33 pages later and all kudos lost I've probably become uk m biggest loser haha.
> 
> I do work for vw / Audi financial services and I drive a new sirroco GT 170 black edition.
> 
> So half was truth.


You winding us up again, VW don't make a sirroco !


----------



## 6ft4Dan

R0B said:


> You winding us up again, VW don't make a sirroco !


Lol.. Good spot...


----------



## Josh1436114527

What you dont have an audi,well i never


----------



## Breda

Pics of the scirocco and the thread be locked and have legendary status forever


----------



## Guest

Breda said:


> Pics of the scirocco and the thread be locked and have legendary status forever


Fook that, keep it going!

It's only a 2.0L TDI ......


----------



## MRSTRONG

......NOAUDI ......


----------



## Sub-Zero

Nocarbs said:


> Ok don't ask what went through my head posting the other day an clearly wasn't thinking the impact it would create in making me look a tool. However 33 pages later and all kudos lost I've probably become uk m biggest loser haha.
> 
> I do work for vw / Audi financial services and I drive a new *sirroco* GT 170 black edition.
> 
> So half was truth.


I doubt you even drive that, considering you can't even spell the name of your car right "*Scirocco"..* :lol: :stupid:


----------



## Nocarbs

R0B said:


> You winding us up again, VW don't make a sirroco !


Lol yes they do


----------



## andy




----------



## 6ft4Dan

Nocarbs said:


> Lol yes they do


No they don't.. It's scirocco... Lmao


----------



## Nocarbs

I'm using tapatalk on iPhone so yes my spelling is questionable


----------



## bdcc

Nocarbs said:


> I'm using tapatalk on iPhone so yes my spelling is questionable


Do you have a phone? Pic or I don't believe you.

Not sure auto correct would change Scirocco to Sirroco lol.


----------



## andy

sweet.....


----------



## 6ft4Dan

Nocarbs said:


> I'm using tapatalk on iPhone so yes my spelling is questionable


I am on iPhone too using tapatalk... Next excuse... Lol


----------



## Guest

Nocarbs said:


> I'm using tapatalk on iPhone so yes my spelling is questionable


A lots questionable tbh LOL

But we still like ya


----------



## ASOC5

andy said:


> i did go to the effort mate...thats how i roll.
> 
> who are you btw?...nocarbs brother or something?


No not at all mate just found it strange that you didn't have anything better to do.

Although it has made for some entertainment for my night shifts reading through all 30 pages so your a star


----------



## Nocarbs

Can you upload pics using tapa


----------



## andy

ASOC5 said:


> No not at all mate just found it strange that you didn't have anything better to do.


id already had 8 [email protected] mate...so not really that strange, i was knackered


----------



## Breda

He hasn't got a phone or tapatalk when will you lot learn :lol:


----------



## 6ft4Dan

Nocarbs said:


> Can you upload pics using tapa


Yes. Go to reply then open advanced options..


----------



## RiZzah

> Can you upload pics using tapa


Just link them from the VW/AUDI site??


----------



## ASOC5

andy said:


> id already had 8 [email protected] mate...so not really that strange, i was knackered


Picture or its BS ... Joke


----------



## andy

noaudi, you have been repped for swallowing your pride and coming clean.....

now go and think about what youve done.


----------



## LeBigMac

Nocarbs said:


> Can you upload pics using tapa


Is this the long awaited photo of the Audi and Ukm on a piece of paper?


----------



## andy

ASOC5 said:


> Picture or its BS ... Joke


ill pm them to you...be aware its quite red at the tip because of the severity of the last 2 [email protected]

i was really getting into it


----------



## vduboli

Ultra Soft said:


> Is this the long awaited photo of the Audi and Ukm on a piece of paper?


I bloody hope so, I haven't slept for nearly three nights waiting for the piece of paper of windscreen moment...


----------



## Breda

Ultra [URL=Soft:2593867]Soft:2593867[/URL] said:


> Is this the long awaited photo of the Audi and Ukm on a piece of paper?


No the scirocco.. UK-m on paper would be a nice touch tho nocar


----------



## Tasty

Yeah man, nonote = nocar = norespect


----------



## Nocarbs




----------



## Nocarbs




----------



## mikep81

My word. Well done for coming clean, although I'm not sure that deserves a rep, maybe a neg for even coming out with it in the first place but I wont bother (I have such a small amount of rep power it wouldn't even make a difference)!


----------



## Breda

Round of applause to nocar... I forgive you man


----------



## MRSTRONG

those pictures still prove nothing the car could be next doors ....


----------



## vduboli

Bit sad but has been an absolute laugh and def thread of the year for me...absolutely class a.

Thank you Nocarb, noaudi whatever your name may be


----------



## Breda

ewen:2593913 said:


> those pictures still prove nothing the car could be next doors ....


O sh!t ewen is not satisfied

Need log book evidence now


----------



## MRSTRONG

Breda said:


> O sh!t ewen is not satisfied
> 
> Need log book evidence now


with breda`s cum on it ....


----------



## vduboli

ewen said:


> with breda`s cum on it ....


It's ok you can pm those pics Noaudi!

I think as an apology for lieing to everyone on UK-M it's time you asked a mod to change your username to Noaudi?

Whose agrees?


----------



## Breda

Nocar what's the address.

I can post said cum or nick an Audi from the dealers as I live in mk


----------



## Nocarbs

Yeah could be next doors mate your right.


----------



## Breda

vduboli:2593926 said:


> It's ok you can pm those pics Noaudi!
> 
> I think as an apology for lieing to everyone on UK-M it's time you asked a mod to change your username to Noaudi?
> 
> Whose agrees?


Nah mate avi can stay as no Audi with empty space but name needs to he nocar as an ode to nocarbs


----------



## flinty90

well i actually think its nicely ended this thread.. now it can be closed and stickied...

we had a good run we had lots of laughs and we had a final outcome.. a great job done by us at UKM internet securities ltd lol !!!!


----------



## Breda

Nocarbs:2593931 said:


> Yeah could be next doors mate your right.


Nomate its yours noone would claim it as theirs if it wasn't nomatter what they had claimed to be theirs in the past


----------



## TrainingwithMS

ewen said:


> those pictures still prove nothing the car could be next doors ....


Haha you horrible cnut!!

I am gutted in a way though as now this won't still be going when I go into hospital on Tuesday to keep me amused :lol:

Another downside is I can't start a thread when I get out with a trip report on a week in the playboy mansion with Hef and his honeys :lol:

Reps for coming clean though, being part of what will go down as a legendary thread and probably the last outrageous brag thread for a while here now that everyone knows the force is strong here in unveiling the truth


----------



## QUEST

fink every one should post a pic of ther car as a tribute .to noaudi :thumb:


----------



## vduboli

roblee said:


> fink every one should post a pic of ther car as a tribute .to noaudi :thumb:


Too dark my black Lamborghini won't be seen.


----------



## Breda

Random googled pictures will do


----------



## vduboli

http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=lamborghini&um=1&hl=en&safe=off&client=safari&sa=N&tbo=d&biw=1024&bih=672&tbm=isch&tbnid=m05qMkI9Cpy43M:&imgrefurl=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/car-manufacturers/lamborghini/7541185/Lamborghini-Gallardo-LP570-4-Superleggera-review.html&docid=v_qjYt0DkkBS2M&imgurl=http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01607/andrew-english-2_1607709c.jpg&w=460&h=288&ei=ZjO0TtWXJtPK8QOZ5fnsBA&zoom=1


----------



## Fatstuff

me in my car


----------



## Nocarbs

Can't be you. That guys actually big


----------



## Fatstuff

Nocarbs said:


> Can't be you. That guys actually big


LOL @ your avi


----------



## jazzmc

Finally at the end,,,what an epic,,some great detective work at the start lol


----------



## flinty90

check out the next big thread My legs are growing too fast pmslk its gonna be another great ride


----------



## Uriel

me taking me mum to tescos

View attachment 67184


----------



## Uriel

no carbs in the real jaloppy

View attachment 67185


----------



## Conscript

Nocarbs AA route-planner...

M6


----------



## Conscript

P.s - Nocarbs is defo on the cards for November MotM !


----------



## s3_abv

Balls for coming out with the truth n that, but you a scirocco 170tdi is hardly an RS5 lol.


----------



## Matt 1

bull**** on the vw as well mate


----------



## asc

Anyone care to give me a short update here rather than reading 42 fvcuking pages? I read the first page or 2 when it was posted, of the new white audi, then him saying it was too dark to post pics, then some interior shots - then i read references on another thread about my noaudi? Anyone?


----------



## andy

asc said:


> Anyone care to give me a short update here rather than reading 42 fvcuking pages? I read the first page or 2 when it was posted, of the new white audi, then him saying it was too dark to post pics, then some interior shots - then i read references on another thread about my noaudi? Anyone?


HE LIED...HE HAD NO AUDI....HE GOT BUSTED...HE GOT RIDICULED....HE FINALLY ADMITTED HAVING NO AUDI.


----------



## asc

Fvck im gonna have to read it all, just tried to read backwards to page 40,39, 38 and looks like he got busted but held his hands up. Have to say his avi made me laugh though, back in 42 pages!


----------



## ki3rz

Just read through majority of the thread and i just gotta say, this is SO SAD hahaha. Why would you lie to a bunch of people who dont know you about what car you have? Lmao its bad enough when people tell ****e like that to people they know in real life:laugh:


----------



## Fatstuff

andy said:


> HE LIED...HE HAD NO AUDI....HE GOT BUSTED...HE GOT RIDICULED....HE FINALLY ADMITTED HAVING NO AUDI.


he also had greg plitts abs as his avi, implying that they might be his own


----------



## Numb

Cant believe I've only just seen it, this thread is filled with utter brilliance we cant just let it die..


----------



## Wannaberipped

Brill thread. Nice1 andy


----------



## Nocarbs

Fatstuff said:


> he also had greg plitts abs as his avi, implying that they might be his own


No I never at all. I've not once said that was me so facts straight. I might of been a dick in this thread but don't start saying **** like that.

And If your referring to the thread I posted in months ago saying " yes that's me in my avi" that's because it was then and I changed it


----------



## Fatstuff

Nocarbs said:


> No I never at all. I've not once said that was me so facts straight. I might of been a dick in this thread but don't start saying **** like that.
> 
> An I your referring to the thread I posted in months ago saying " yes that's me in my avi" that's because it was then and I changed it


Haha for the record thats not my head in my avi


----------



## s3_abv

Why did you chop greg plitts head off?

Too most people that would imply that it's you in the avvi....................................


----------



## Fatstuff

s3_abv said:


> Why did you chop greg plitts head off?
> 
> Too most people that would imply that it's you in the avvi....................................


he knew what he was doin mate, hes just arguin for the sake of it


----------



## spike

$hitf*ck! :cursing:

Thanks for the short version.

Can't believe dude still posts on here. :laugh:

Now I have to go back and read 42 pages. :bounce:


----------



## Fatstuff

neurospike7 said:


> $hitf*ck! :cursing:
> 
> Thanks for the short version.
> 
> Can't believe dude still posts on here. :laugh:
> 
> Now I have to go back and read 42 pages. :bounce:


see u in an hour or so


----------



## vduboli

It would be amazing if we could keep this going but....I fear the dream is over!


----------



## Breda

I think nocar wants to keep it goin too cos he keeps postin on it


----------



## Fatstuff

he just cant help himself


----------



## aesthetics4ever

LOL!! Who changed nocars avi? Just spotted it. He do it himself or an admin?


----------



## Conscript

This thread has more hits than any of the stickys in gencon!! :lol:


----------



## Wannaberipped

It is a funny thread, i couldnt stop reading.


----------



## Patsy

Nowoman Nocry :whistling: :lol:


----------



## BIG BUCK

I've just HPI'd the Vw in the picture and it's financed up to the max! , so in essence you don't own that either!


----------



## Guest

Nocarbs said:


> No I never at all. I've not once said that was me so facts straight. I might of been a dick in this thread but don't start saying **** like that.
> 
> And If your referring to the thread I posted in months ago saying " yes that's me in my avi" that's because it was then and I changed it


Hahaha,

In the "how much do you spend a month on food" thread, powerhouse complemented you on your AVI, you then thanked him for the compliment !

You silly sausage


----------



## Patsy

R0B said:


> Hahaha,
> 
> In the "how much do you spend a month on food" thread, powerhouse complemented you on your AVI, you then thanked him for the compliment !
> 
> You silly sausage


Noavi either lol!! :lol:


----------



## Conscript

This thread COULD be taking off again!!!


----------



## andy

is this sh1t stil going on???

right...well then......

nocarbs, i want photos of your car, bird, house,you,and your bank account details....

or yove got a bicycle, no bird, you live in a cardboard box, youre a woman, and a tramp.......


----------



## Breda

Nocarbs:2584493 said:


> I know but £60 a month on yogurt lol





Nocarbs:2584550 said:


> Modesty gets you everywhere lol


Didn't say it was him but didn't deny it either


----------



## Guest

Breda said:


> Didn't say it was him but didn't deny it either


Bingo!

I have Ewen as Poirot, Andy as Colombo and you can be Shaft 

I'll be Danger Mouse !!


----------



## Patsy

R0B said:


> Bingo!
> 
> I have Ewen as Poirot, Andy as Colombo and you can be Shaft
> 
> I'll be Danger Mouse !!


What did he say you all had Noevidence? lmao! :lol:


----------



## Ashcrapper

R0B said:


> Hahaha,
> 
> In the "how much do you spend a month on food" thread, powerhouse complemented you on your AVI, you then thanked him for the compliment !
> 
> You silly sausage


oh dear, gets worse. can a mod please change his name to billy liar


----------



## MRSTRONG

BB2 said:


> I've just HPI'd the Vw in the picture and it's financed up to the max! , so in essence you don't own that either!


the plot thickens .

as an ex wheel clamper i could do a dvla check but that would be abusing my previous position lol


----------



## Trapps84

well done noarbs! legend, got to admit lie's dont float but this one is by far the best one ive heard due to the build up.

I'm sorry if you felt i took it to far i really didnt meen anything by it.

your real car is nice i've got a seat leon fr+ 170 dsg i love my car and if im not mistaken both are cars are based on the same floor plan diffrent shells, im well happy with mine and proud of it, even though i dont own it the fact im 26 and iv'e been given a £26,000 grand car to smoke about in is awesome neither of us have to pay for insurance servicing we get it sweet! yours is just shy of £30k real nice motor


----------



## Trapps84

ewen said:


> the plot thickens .
> 
> as an ex wheel clamper i could do a dvla check but that would be abusing my previous position lol


 that wont prove nothing lads if its a demo like mine it will be financed to the eyeballs i dont think my work own even 30% of my car.

does look like its still abit volatile here though!


----------



## VeNuM

Entertaining thread!!

I own a **** car, I paid 300 quid but I fell in love with it haha, anyway, you have a much nicer car than me, if that VW is actually yours.


----------



## Guest

VeNuM said:


> Entertaining thread!!
> 
> I own a **** car, I paid 300 quid but I fell in love with it haha, anyway, you have a much nicer car than me, if that VW is actually yours.


I don't own a car either mate, i'm honest like you.

I do have a car, it's a brand spanker, but it a company car.

Nocarbs is a company car but he's still saying "my car"

So sad


----------



## Tombo

But I've known people who have had company cars and then get to keep them after they leave the company, same with company phones.


----------



## Wannaberipped

Trapps84 said:


> well done noarbs! legend, got to admit lie's dont float but this one is by far the best one ive heard due to the build up.
> 
> I'm sorry if you felt i took it to far i really didnt meen anything by it.
> 
> your real car is nice i've got a seat leon fr+ 170 dsg i love my car and if im not mistaken both are cars are based on the same floor plan diffrent shells, im well happy with mine and proud of it, even though i dont own it the fact im 26 and iv'e been given a £26,000 grand car to smoke about in is awesome neither of us have to pay for insurance servicing we get it sweet! yours is just shy of £30k real nice motor


Pics or you have nocar


----------



## Guest

Tombo said:


> But I've known people who have had company cars and then get to keep them after they leave the company, same with company phones.


Not nowadays my friend, companies lease or buy there vehicles.

If they lease then it's one less asset to maintain.

If they buy they will keep for a max of 4/5 years. Then sell, it's an asset that will return revenue.

Giving it to staff just doesn't happen with today's climate.


----------



## invisiblekid

Trapps84 said:


> well done noarbs! legend, got to admit lie's dont float but this one is by far the best one ive heard due to the build up.
> 
> I'm sorry if you felt i took it to far i really didnt meen anything by it.
> 
> your real car is nice i've got a seat leon fr+ 170 dsg i love my car and if im not mistaken both are cars are based on the same floor plan diffrent shells, im well happy with mine and proud of it, even though i dont own it the fact im 26 and iv'e been given a £26,000 grand car to smoke about in is awesome neither of us have to pay for insurance servicing we get it sweet! yours is just shy of £30k real nice motor


And neither lose shed loads on dereciation! My MK2 Cupra has lost a far chunk. Can't really understand people spending huge amounts on VWs.

One minor point though I'm not sure a FR+ would be £26k, the Cupra R can be had for less than that new - suppose its how many options you tick. Even though I bought a Cupra and love it (ex demo) there is no way I'd pay £26k for any SEAT.


----------



## BIG BUCK

R0B said:


> Bingo!
> 
> I have Ewen as Poirot, Andy as Colombo and you can be Shaft
> 
> I'll be Danger Mouse !!


And i'll be Jodie Marsh!


----------



## Guest

BB2 said:


> And i'll be Jodie Marsh!


Ooh, fancy a session then


----------



## Fatstuff

nofckinaudi, nofckinclue, nofckinlife , noplittabs, nofriendsonukmnow, noselfrespect, nocockprobably


----------



## Breda

Nogirl, nomoney, noweed, nocreps, nobling, noswagger, noflex, noselfre****ingspect, nothisthreadwontdie


----------



## QUEST

nomilk nobread noeggs .ffs av got to walk the shop


----------



## Patsy

Noremorse!


----------



## QUEST




----------



## Wannaberipped

Nomuscles


----------



## Smitch

So it was a complete load of bullsh1t then?

What a sad little man.


----------



## vduboli

Smitch said:


> So it was a complete load of bullsh1t then?
> 
> What a sad little man.


Hahahaha


----------



## Ste7n

I don't want to cause trouble but i'm nearly sure that vw scirocco pictured before was for sale on a car forum lately, pictures look identical if not the same... :thumbdown:


----------



## Patsy

SouthPaw said:


> I don't want to cause trouble but i'm nearly sure that vw scirocco pictured before was for sale on a car forum lately, pictures look identical if not the same... :thumbdown:


Nofcukingway?!!


----------



## mikep81

Just when I thought this thread had died!!


----------



## vduboli

SouthPaw said:


> I don't want to cause trouble but i'm nearly sure that vw scirocco pictured before was for sale on a car forum lately, pictures look identical if not the same... :thumbdown:


Oh please find the ad! I can feel this thread coming back to life


----------



## Ste7n

I tried searching for it again but it sames it's been removed, was on pistonheads iirc, unless noaudi was selling it as unlikely as it sounds...


----------



## vduboli

SouthPaw said:


> I tried searching for it again but it sames it's been removed, was on pistonheads iirc, unless noaudi was selling it as unlikely as it sounds...


Noway


----------



## Ste7n

There's only one thing noaudi can do to clarify, which i doubt he'll do... I'm on pistonheads everyday, and those pictures def look similiar to the ones that was listed


----------



## Patsy

SouthPaw said:


> There's only one thing noaudi can do to clarify, which i doubt he'll do... I'm on pistonheads everyday, and those pictures def look similiar to the ones that was listed


He will probably say Noitsnotme Nohonestly Nowayamisellingmycar :lol:


----------



## usernameneeded

all i can say i WOW i read the 1st couple of pages when i started and just read the rest now and got to say there was no way it could have been seen how great this would end......... or maybe not ended after the new pistonheads info .................


----------



## Fatstuff

SouthPaw said:


> I don't want to cause trouble but i'm nearly sure that vw scirocco pictured before was for sale on a car forum lately, pictures look identical if not the same... :thumbdown:


identical if not the same?????????? LOL


----------



## Tasty

Noshame


----------



## Ste7n

Fatstuff said:


> identical if not the same?????????? LOL


sorry fatstuff should of used the word similiar... :smartass:


----------



## jazzmc

Not wanting to kick a man when he's down,,,but is the photo of you and your girlfriend a slight fabrication of the truth as well ??


----------



## lumix

Bump... :whistling:


----------



## Glassback

Nocarbs said:


> Well it's been on order for 9 months and finally got her this morning.
> 
> My lovely Audi RS5 in white.
> 
> Yes I'm gloating ;-)


Jesus Christ, nice work. Now there is a car that would utterly destroy mine. Nice...


----------



## VeNuM

Can we change the title so it says 'nocar arrived today, bad times' ?


----------



## lumix

Glassback said:


> Jesus Christ, nice work. Now there is a car that would utterly destroy mine. Nice...


Before jumping to any conclusions I'd read the posts so far.

If you can't be ****d I'll put it in a nut shell for you;

Nocarbs (Nocar) is totally full of sh it and is probably a 15yr old spotty dweeb.

Sounds harsh, but I think after reading all posts you'll agree


----------



## Glassback

lumix said:


> Before jumping to any conclusions I'd read the posts so far.
> 
> If you can't be ****d I'll put it in a nut shell for you;
> 
> Nocarbs (Nocar) is totally full of sh it and is probably a 15yr old spotty dweeb.
> 
> Sounds harsh, but I think after reading all posts you'll agree


Thanks for the confirmation - I read up top age 15 then thought "why am I reading about some lying admin pleb from VW/Audi" Bullsh!tter of the worst form.

I mean, he even tried to pretend it was a company car was going to use while it was a demo...? What a pr**k. Nocars you must have real confidence problems to lie on the interweb.

I have a ford focus RS, sure it's not as expensive or as quick as an RS5 but atleast I own it!! In the real world!


----------



## Tasty

This is a fun game, oi noaudi, I had an old 3 series that blew up, then a **** heap of an escort the police took away from me a fortnight ago. I definitely tell less lies than you do though


----------



## invisiblekid

Glassback said:


> Thanks for the confirmation - I read up top age 15 then thought "why am I reading about some lying admin pleb from VW/Audi" Bullsh!tter of the worst form.
> 
> I mean, he even tried to pretend it was a company car was going to use while it was a demo...? What a pr**k. Nocars you must have real confidence problems to lie on the interweb.
> 
> I have a ford focus RS, sure it's not as expensive or as quick as an RS5 but atleast I own it!! In the real world!


Have you tuned/added any hardware to your Focus RS mate? Do you have either/both lux packs? Oh and please say it isn't green or orange! P

It's a nice motor, was tempted by an RS, but tuned my Cupra instead. It's running a shade over 360bhp now


----------



## Glassback

invisiblekid said:


> Have you tuned/added any hardware to your Focus RS mate? Do you have either/both lux packs? Oh and please say it isn't green or orange! P
> 
> It's a nice motor, was tempted by an RS, but tuned my Cupra instead. It's running a shade over 360bhp now


I wouldn't want to hijack a thread, but let's have some truth on here ha!

I haven't added a thing to the RS and won't! I think its an outrage to add crap on to such along awaited car. Mine is 09 plate, Blue (best colour) it has lux pack 1 air con, 6 cd etc smokers pack although I don't smoke but bought it with it which consists of an ashtray lol. I have the leather, Alacantra seats instead of the cheap looking fabric seats.

just don't ask for pics of a UKM sign in it LMAO

performance is mental and a lot of fun. I like then Cupra, for me the Cupra was the new type R.


----------



## lumix

Glassback said:


> I wouldn't want to hijack a thread, but let's have some truth on here ha!
> 
> I haven't added a thing to the RS and won't! I think its an outrage to add crap on to such along awaited car. Mine is 09 plate, Blue (best colour) it has lux pack 1 air con, 6 cd etc smokers pack although I don't smoke but bought it with it which consists of an ashtray lol. I have the leather, Alacantra seats instead of the cheap looking fabric seats.
> 
> just don't ask for pics of a UKM sign in it LMAO
> 
> performance is mental and a lot of fun. I like then Cupra, for me the Cupra was the new type R.


No pics, no car!!

Only kidding, I believe you Glassback


----------



## Tombo

This is what I'm after:


----------



## lumix

Tombo said:


> This is what I'm after:


Nice mate

Noaudi has got one on order... :whistling:


----------



## andy

Tombo said:


> This is what I'm after:


this is what happens when K.I.T.T. fcuks an FXX


----------



## Tombo

lumix said:


> Nice mate
> 
> Noaudi has got one on order... :whistling:


Maybe he could lend me his spare

oh wait, nospare,nomoney,nocar


----------



## Trevor McDonald

Just read this all... Over an hour well spent!


----------



## Trapps84

You lot are relentlas nocarbs is probably swinging from some joist in his parents loft by a noose, even if any truth comes from him you ain't going to trust him!


----------



## Wannaberipped

Just ordered a phantom


----------



## Nocarbs

SouthPaw said:


> I don't want to cause trouble but i'm nearly sure that vw scirocco pictured before was for sale on a car forum lately, pictures look identical if not the same... :thumbdown:


Theres more than 1 black edition VW like that in the UK, so im sure there will be some for sale. So whats your point ;-)


----------



## vduboli

No way when we thought it had gone quiet!

Welcome back!!

We are all still waiting for UK-M in the windscreen piccies


----------



## Nocarbs

It's to dark. This is the best I can do


----------



## vduboli

Nocarbs said:


> It's to dark. This is the best I can do


Good sport but you got your username wrong


----------



## need2bodybuild

I hope you didn't get spotted sticking that on that fellas car lol.


----------



## 2004mark

Nocarbs said:


> It's to dark, and I think the bloke who owns the Scirocco clocked me skulking around his driveway so this is the best I can do ]


 :lol:


----------



## Nocarbs

Yeah and I got his keys off him too and they happened to land in my hand did they


----------



## QUEST

am still not av'in this ...inside of the car window would be better:cool:


----------



## need2bodybuild

Haha, I believe you, thousands wouldn't.


----------



## 2004mark

Nocarbs said:


> Yeah and I got his keys off him too and they happened to land in my hand did they


Fair play...

...here is my key


----------



## Nocarbs

Yeah I can understand why to be fair lol


----------



## Breda

I reckon you lot should give him a break now.... He's paid the price and we've had our fun

Nocar your ok with me


----------



## aesthetics4ever

TBF a pic of your username on the outside proves nothing and I'd have thought you'd have posted an interior pic to shut up all the nay-sayers.

I could walk up to Cheryl Cole and stick my cock to her with a bit of glue and take a snap but it still doesn't mean she belongs to me till I release the video of me smashing her backdoors in.


----------



## vduboli

Really apart from a couple of pages a good sport..

Your def an odd one for lying to a group of people you don't know about having something you don't have but all the same a nice end!


----------



## JG123

Dont mean to sound rude but how has an audi gone to a scirroco(sp) I aint read the topic btw


----------



## Guest

Jaime G said:


> Dont mean to sound rude but how has an audi gone to a scirroco(sp) I aint read the topic btw


Get reading 

Its a tale of excitement, excrement from noaudi's mouth  and absolute quality posts !!


----------



## Fatstuff

agree with bredface, nocarbs has served his punishment


----------



## Conscript

I'm just gutted that Nocarbs has a better motor than me! But fair play for coming good..... in the end Lol! :beer:


----------



## Nocarbs




----------



## Conscript

Nice motor Nolegs!


----------



## andy

Nocarbs said:


>


not enough ..

pics of the v5

in the car...

your face in the pic...

with uk-m on your forehead in blood


----------



## Guest

Nocarbs said:


>


That's not u, it's me!


----------



## MRSTRONG

im not convinced look at the facts 

noaudi works for vw/audi so the chance of him/her taking a photo of that vw is pretty high also he would have access to the keys .

and anyone can stick a note on the outside of the car and take a pic .

as for the inside picture noaudi is taking the pic and not sat in the drivers seat .

a simple way to fix this .....

noaudi has posted up 2 pictures supposedly of himself and his mrs so we know what they look like .

i think a picture of them both inside the car with both their faces and vw dash in the picture with noaudi written on paper would end this thread happily


----------



## Wannaberipped

Nocarbs said:


>


Noquads

Lol

Jokes


----------



## Ste7n

Nocarbs said:


> Theres more than 1 black edition VW like that in the UK, so im sure there will be some for sale. So whats your point ;-)


I hold my hands up  , must of been someone else who takes dodgy night pics... forgive me cl... :innocent:


----------



## Breda

ewen:2602634 said:


> im not convinced look at the facts
> 
> noaudi works for vw/audi so the chance of him/her taking a photo of that vw is pretty high also he would have access to the keys .
> 
> and anyone can stick a note on the outside of the car and take a pic .
> 
> as for the inside picture noaudi is taking the pic and not sat in the drivers seat .
> 
> a simple way to fix this .....
> 
> noaudi has posted up 2 pictures supposedly of himself and his mrs so we know what they look like .
> 
> i think a picture of them both inside the car with both their faces and vw dash in the picture with noaudi written on paper would end this thread happily


Fcukin pmsl.... Will you ever be satisfied ewen


----------



## MRSTRONG

Breda said:


> Fcukin pmsl.... Will you ever be satisfied ewen


only after our `piggy back` m8 :lol:


----------



## Breda

ewen:2602743 said:


> only after our `piggy back` m8 :lol:


Shhh its our secret


----------



## essexboy

Guy.s all we really need is the Id number on the v5.then w go to the Gov site, and check its status.........


----------



## 6ft4Dan

Pic of uk-m on the inside or I call BS... Zoom in on the bottom of keys near ignition barrel. They have something red hanging from them. Now look at the picture he posted of his keys... See something missing???


----------



## Guest

danny26 said:


> Pic of uk-m on the inside or I call BS... Zoom in on the bottom of keys near ignition barrel. They have something red hanging from them. Now look at the picture he posted of his keys... See something missing???


Lol, that's mine and that's my clubcard !!


----------



## andy

danny26 said:


> Pic of uk-m on the inside or I call BS... Zoom in on the bottom of keys near ignition barrel. They have something red hanging from them. Now look at the picture he posted of his keys... See something missing???


nice detective work there my friend......you looking for a job in uk-m security?

repped


----------



## 6ft4Dan

An far too observant for my own good. Notice every little thing me 

Job offer accepted


----------



## andy

danny26 said:


> An far too observant for my own good. Notice every little thing me
> 
> Job offer accepted


your uniform and identity badge are in the post.......

how do i know your address???

because i am a top detective also.


----------



## 6ft4Dan

andy said:


> your uniform and identity badge are in the post.......
> 
> how do i know your address???
> 
> because i am a top detective also.


Lol... We should go in business. Don't wear uniform am afraid, only do plain clothes


----------



## andy

danny26 said:


> Lol... We should go in business. Don't wear uniform am afraid, only do plain clothes


yeah i know that already mate...... h34r:

your uniform is a black tracksuit with uk-m sewn discreetly on the inside


----------



## 6ft4Dan

andy said:


> yeah i know that already mate...... h34r:
> 
> your uniform is a black tracksuit with uk-m sewn discreetly on the inside


Ok, can live with that... Shame he hasn't got geo tag on his iPhone pics, that could have made this interesting...


----------



## andy

danny26 said:


> Ok, can live with that... Shame he hasn't got geo tag on his iPhone pics, that could have made this interesting...


oh ...youre good mate....


----------



## 6ft4Dan

andy said:


> oh ...youre good mate....


Don't get me started. Will analyse the pics when am on pc, usin iPhone at the minute. Then I can get to the bottom of it


----------



## MRSTRONG

running out of sleuth names danny morse has a ring to it


----------



## 6ft4Dan

ewen said:


> running out of sleuth names danny morse has a ring to it


Makes me sound old...

Have kept my distance from this thread and was waiting for the right moment to spring to life... Columbo style...


----------



## MRSTRONG

danny26 said:


> Makes me sound old...
> 
> Have kept my distance from this thread and was waiting for the right moment to spring to life... Columbo style...


ok ok i got it ..... danny noaudi


----------



## 6ft4Dan

ewen said:


> ok ok i got it ..... danny noaudi


lol.... that'll do..... (although no relation or nothing to do with nocarb/noaudi/noVW..)


----------



## Glassback

lumix said:


> No pics, no car!!
> 
> Only kidding, I believe you Glassback


LOL when I am on my laptop I will post some up. On here for fun ha! Probably be at the weekend.


----------



## Nocarbs

andy said:


> nice detective work there my friend......you looking for a job in uk-m security?
> 
> repped


That something red is my air fresher Sherlock


----------



## usernameneeded

i think we nneed more pics to clear this up haha


----------



## gummyp

Was he a USN rep or was that wishful thinking?


----------



## vduboli

Come on an inside uk-m pic every is intrigued now!


----------



## Tombo

2004mark said:


> Fair play...
> 
> ...here is my key


http://blog.car24h.org/1-160-diamonds-ferrari-key-a1.html


----------



## Nocarbs




----------



## 6ft4Dan

Nocarbs said:


>


Fair enough, that explains that. To put everyone at ease just do uk-m inside and all will be done.. Fair play mate,your a good sport 

Hands up,Sherlock needs to clean his magnifying glass


----------



## 2004mark

Nocarbs said:


> That something red is my air fresher Sherlock


Yeah... helps get rid of the putrid stench of BS does it? :tongue:


----------



## Nocarbs

2004mark said:


> Yeah... helps get rid of the putrid stench of BS does it? :tongue:


Haha good one  although the truth is it helps rid the smell of your bird after ive dropped her back off. Joke


----------



## Patsy

LOL This thread is half an century old today congrats! Surely a contender of thread of the year so far?!!


----------



## Nocarbs

Glad my idiotic ways have made history  lol


----------



## vduboli

Its not over until the fat lady sings...or noaudi puts the piece of paper inside


----------



## Patsy

vduboli said:


> Its not over until the fat lady sings...or noaudi puts the piece of paper inside


Why not go all out and take a pic of the fat lady inside the car? :whistling:


----------



## vduboli

PatWelsh said:


> Why not go all out and take a pic of the fat lady inside the car? :whistling:


That is also an option noaudi?


----------



## 2004mark

Nocarbs said:


> Haha good one  although the truth is it helps rid the smell of your bird after ive dropped her back off. Joke


You'd need more than one air freshener lol


----------



## vduboli

2004mark said:


> You'd need more than one air freshener lol


Pics or bs


----------



## Nocarbs

Let's not get carried away I've taken numerous pics now to convince its mine


----------



## Guest

Nocarbs said:


> Let's not get carried away I've taken numerous pics now to convince its mine


If you could just take the key and etch uk-m into the bonnet and take a pic that would be great


----------



## Nocarbs

willsy said:


> If you could just take the key and etch uk-m into the bonnet and take a pic that would be great


Yeah sure thing no worries however the key is round at the end so I'll use a blade instead


----------



## Guest

Nocarbs said:


> Yeah sure thing no worries however the key is round at the end so I'll use a blade instead


Like your new avi mate


----------



## Guest

Nocarbs said:


> Let's not get carried away I've taken numerous pics now to convince its mine


Convinced yourself you say......


----------



## vduboli

lol


----------



## Nocarbs




----------



## Guest

Nocarbs said:


>


Good man!


----------



## Tombo

Nocarbs said:


>


I see you downloaded Photoshop!


----------



## 2004mark

Ok. Now we have that one cleared up, lets move on to the next matter in hand... job title. You sticking or twisting with 'Group Finance Manager for VW and Audi' :whistling:

(Do you want me to Photoshop a business card for you : http://www.autocardcentral.com/vw_business_cards.html :lol: )


----------



## Tombo

Actually it could have been a Microsoft Paint job :001_tt2:


----------



## Nocarbs

2004mark said:


> Ok. Now we have that one cleared up, lets move on to the next matter in hand... job title. You sticking or twisting with 'Group Finance Manager for VW and Audi' :whistling:
> 
> (Do you want me to Photoshop a business card for you : http://www.autocardcentral.com/vw_business_cards.html :lol: )


That bits true although my role at the moment looks after commercial sites for VWFS


----------



## bowen86

thats a VW steering wheel?


----------



## bowen86

so you dont have an Audi? i just re read the thread.


----------



## JG123

Will someone sum up this thread for me please?


----------



## 6ft4Dan

Jaime G said:


> Will someone sum up this thread for me please?


So much better if you read it. Well worth it


----------



## JG123

I read upto about page 12 and got bored. So whats happened then? id read it but im in work


----------



## vduboli

Jaime G said:


> I read upto about page 12 and got bored. So whats happened then? id read it but im in work


He lied & has No Audi


----------



## vduboli

but he does have a VW Sirocco


----------



## EssexMalRider

vduboli said:


> He lied & has No Audi


Read the first page a while ago and aren't surprised it's bull.

Wish I could afford one dem.


----------



## Singh01

Nocarbs said:


> That bits true although my role at the moment looks after commercial sites for VWFS


Basically cleans cars..


----------



## Wannaberipped

Singh01 said:


> Basically cleans cars..


Lol


----------



## squatthis

well that was a marathon task reading that... cheers for the entertainment... i still dnt get why you bothered in the first place, but good luck to u, i hope you get your rs5 one day....


----------



## Nocarbs

Singh01 said:


> Basically cleans cars..


Yeah that's exactly what I do I it makes you feel better


----------



## JG123

Nocarbs so was you only joking about the rs5 in the first place?


----------



## vduboli

Jaime G said:


> Nocarbs so was you only joking about the rs5 in the first place?


If you have read the entire thread and have to ask that......

Yes is the answer!


----------



## Guest

Nocarbs said:


> Yeah that's exactly what I do I it makes you feel better


Pics or its bs, need one with you and your sponge with ukm wrote on the sponge...


----------



## JG123

vduboli said:


> If you have read the entire thread and have to ask that......
> 
> Yes is the answer!


cant read the entire thread, im at work.


----------



## spike

See Page 37 for the allegedly "full" disclosure.

Still has to rank as one of the saddest things I've ever read on the net.

Really.


----------



## JG123

neurospike7 said:


> See Page 37 for the allegedly "full" disclosure.
> 
> Still has to rank as one of the saddest things I've ever read on the net.
> 
> Really.


Cheers mate!


----------



## Uk_mb

he's proved it's his guys with a piece of paper in the window saying uk-m. leave him alone


----------



## Patsy

monsterballs said:


> View attachment 67600
> 
> 
> he's proved it's his guys with a piece of paper in the window saying uk-m.* leave him alone*


No! We are milking this thread for atleast 100 pages, ill bump the fcuker into the new year if i have to! UK-M thread gold here :lol:


----------



## Big ape

monsterballs said:


> View attachment 67600
> 
> 
> he's proved it's his guys with a piece of paper in the window saying uk-m. leave him alone


Anyone can put a pic in a car if u work for audi it's on the same fore court


----------



## Nocarbs

Big ape said:


> Anyone can put a pic in a car if u work for audi it's on the same fore court


Think your missing the point with what he's done. It's clearly a **** take and been done using photoshop


----------



## Uk_mb

Nocarbs said:


> Think your missing the point with what he's done. It's clearly a **** take and been done using photoshop


PAINT****


----------



## usernameneeded

Nocarbs said:


>


How do we know this is the same car???

We can't see the air freshener and his keys


----------



## vduboli

usernameneeded said:


> How do we know this is the same car???
> 
> We can't see the air freshener and his keys


eeeeeeeeeek


----------



## Nocarbs

usernameneeded said:


> How do we know this is the same car???
> 
> We can't see the air freshener and his keys


Mate there's only room for one knob ed in this room and thats me


----------



## BodyBuilding101

F&ck sake this thread is still going at 53 pages?!!!


----------



## Glassback

WOW WOW WOW SWEET CHILD OF MINE....... Hang on at what point did this turn in to a VW SCirroco and not an Audi RS5???

Dude you a bull****ter...... And that to me is the worst.

That's like me saying "I can bench 200kg!!!" and then film myself curling 10kg.


----------



## usernameneeded

Nocarbs said:


> Mate there's only room for one knob ed in this room and thats me


Ok I'll give u that one haha


----------



## Patsy

:whistling: :lol:


----------



## Impulse2903

This has to get to 100 pages.

Noaudi, you have supplied newbie UK-M members with a way to not behave on here. Well done!


----------



## Bulk1

andy said:


> noaudi, you have been repped for swallowing your pride and coming clean.....


anyone that reps this pr**k for laying down so much BS for 40 pages must be living in the same town as this nut sack.


----------



## Breda

Bulk1:2610974 said:


> anyone that reps this pr**k for laying down so much BS for 40 pages must be living in the same town as this nut sack.


I repped the liein cnut for the avi change and because in the grand scheme of things I don't give a fcuk


----------



## Conscript

I repped him too, at least he had the balls to admit he exaggerated (alot!) and stuck around rather than get in a sh1tty and troll out until a ban, which is what a lot of guys would have done! :laugh:


----------



## Bulk1

Breda said:


> I repped the liein cnut for the avi change and because in the grand scheme of things I don't give a fcuk


If he shot himself in the head then I'd rep him... but then he'd still be telling us he did it.


----------



## vduboli

This is amazing! Come on guys lets keep this going!,


----------



## andy

Bulk1 said:


> anyone that reps this pr**k for laying down so much BS for 40 pages must be living in the same town as this nut sack.


its not like i sent him a cheque for a grand or that pal.....

a rep is a wee collection of pixels made to look like a green bar........

i dont really give a sh1t about them or noaudi....

just to show how much i dont care about it.......

have some reps buddy.....


----------



## Conscript

Good post Andy, have a neg x


----------



## andy

Conscript said:


> Good post Andy, have a neg x


cheers bro. im getting bored of green anyway..


----------



## Milky

I got my car today, l quite like it.


----------



## Breda

Good post lads have nothin 

Would rep but I'm on my phone


----------



## andy

Milky said:


> I got my car today, l quite like it.


mondeo?


----------



## andy

Breda said:


> Good post lads have nothin
> 
> Would rep but I'm on my phone


you can send me a cheque mate....


----------



## Milky

andy said:


> mondeo?


Yep, loads of toys, quiet and good on fuel.


----------



## andy

Milky said:


> Yep, loads of toys, quiet and good on fuel.


aye..i seen it one of your posts mate...

good motors...never had one myself, but driven a few..


----------



## Conscript

Did you travel to kent from manchester in your new motor Milky?


----------



## Breda

andy:2611022 said:


> you can send me a cheque mate....


You should be sending me one you cnut


----------



## Milky

Conscript said:


> Did you travel to kent from manchester in your new motor Milky?


No mate.

Sorted it out via text with him.


----------



## Hayesy

Speaking of cars i know nothing about them but my friend said he can get me a Volvo S40 07 plate for 4500 is that good ?

Sorry to Hjack btw


----------



## andy

Hayesy said:


> Speaking of cars i know nothing about them but my friend said he can get me a Volvo S40 07 plate for 4500 is that good ?
> 
> Sorry to Hjack btw


sounds decent....

spec?

mileage?

s/h?


----------



## Hayesy

andy said:


> sounds decent....
> 
> spec?
> 
> mileage?
> 
> s/h?


 now your asking, dont have a clue andy but dont think its done a stupid amount of miles like to fukin space and back,

2 liter diesel, full leather inside etc seems to good to be true tbh


----------



## andy

Hayesy said:


> now your asking, dont have a clue andy but dont think its done a stupid amount of miles like to fukin space and back,
> 
> 2 liter diesel, full leather inside etc seems to good to be true tbh


mm.....could be high mileage mate.....if its got a fsh tho....wont be bad at all.


----------



## Milky

I wouldnt buy a car with over 100,000 miles for some reason.

Bit of a mental thing really.


----------



## andy

Milky said:


> I wouldnt buy a car with over 100,000 miles for some reason.
> 
> Bit of a mental thing really.


yeah..100,000 is pushing it.

for an 07 plate tho.....id accept as much as 50,000-70,000 miles if they were all motorway AND with the fsh


----------



## asc

I bought a car around 4 years ago. the guy told me he bought it and it had 100,000 but it was a fleet car and all motorway mileage, it was/is an astra estate 03 1.7 diesel. he said he bought it and that day the head gasket went. so he got it all rebuilt. i know fvck all about cars. it was from ebay and he took me to some old guy in a garage who rebuilt it, he told me what he did, i was clueless but went along with it. went back to work and a few of the lads there who were into cars scoffed saying "he means he just got the head skimmed" - again i didnt have a clue. Anyway 4 years on, shedloads of miles later and still no problems. And i mean shedloads of miles, most weekends from northeast to merseyside, at the time i used the car for my work and drove it all day every day.

Not much use my post really other than sometimes over 100,000 can be ok! Haysey get it checked over by someone who knows, it might be worth it, it was for me anyway.

Alan


----------



## andy

asc said:


> I bought a car around 4 years ago. the guy told me he bought it and it had 100,000 but it was a fleet car and all motorway mileage, it was/is an astra estate 03 1.7 diesel. he said he bought it and that day the head gasket went. so he got it all rebuilt. i know fvck all about cars. it was from ebay and he took me to some old guy in a garage who rebuilt it, he told me what he did, i was clueless but went along with it. went back to work and a few of the lads there who were into cars scoffed saying "he means he just got the head skimmed" - again i didnt have a clue. Anyway 4 years on, shedloads of miles later and still no problems. And i mean shedloads of miles, most weekends from northeast to merseyside, at the time i used the car for my work and drove it all day every day.
> 
> Not much use my post really other than sometimes over 100,000 can be ok! Haysey get it checked over by someone who knows, it might be worth it, it was for me anyway.
> 
> Alan


astras are great cars imo.

vectras too.


----------



## Conscript

I think most modern diesels are good to go for 150-200'000 miles these days, especially German made.


----------



## Glassback

andy said:


> astras are great cars imo.
> 
> vectras too.


I wouldn't put a dog in a Vauxhall awful cars.


----------



## Hayesy

its done 40


----------



## andy

Glassback said:


> I wouldn't put a dog in a Vauxhall awful cars.


nah mate..i like them

2 astras and a vectra....never a problem with any..

got the vectra in a deal with a guy...p reg...looked like sh1t........ran like a fcuking dream.


----------



## andy

Hayesy said:


> its done 40


average for its age......sounds like a good deal.

me personally, id be dubious.

done an hpi check?


----------



## Hayesy

i like astras, nice!!!

Also like Golfs


----------



## Hayesy

andy said:


> average for its age......sounds like a good deal.
> 
> me personally, id be dubious.
> 
> done an hpi check?


i know the lad that has it hes ok, he said he would pop around in it for a look, so hes comin tomoz!!


----------



## andy

Hayesy said:


> i know the lad that has it hes ok, he said he would pop around in it for a look, so hes comin tomoz!!


still check for outstanding finance mate....

edit; trust no one when it comes to big money.


----------



## Tombo

I've noticed how the same jokes are cropping up again and again :lol:


----------



## Uk_mb

835 likes :lol:


----------



## Andy-E

Nice motor mate thats what the Mrs is after.


----------



## Uk_mb

LMAOOOO :lol:


----------



## Uk_mb

this is me


----------



## Guest

Andy-E said:


> Nice motor mate thats what the Mrs is after.


Have you read the entire thread Andy.....

Which motor?! :lol:


----------



## Guest

monsterballs said:


> View attachment 67722
> 
> 
> this is me


You've changed !! Must be all those veggies


----------



## Uk_mb

yeah the vegies...

plus i have a brand new audi rs5 to get to the gym in super quick time


----------



## Guest

monsterballs said:


> yeah the vegies...
> 
> plus i have a brand new audi rs5 to get to the gym in super quick time


Wow, that's impressive!

I'll not ask for any pictures or proof because your obviously telling me the truth.

Thanks for your honesty monsterballs 

To the Bat Cave!!


----------



## Uk_mb

obviously im telling the truth or else i wouldn't write it on the internet,

HAHA

this thread is epic:laugh: i hope it lasts forever

ps. on the subject of :spam: ive just farted but as i have a blocked nose cannot smell it


----------



## Craig660

Read to page 26 ish, can anyone tell me the verdict of the thread ?????


----------



## MRSTRONG

Craig660 said:


> Read to page 26 ish, can anyone tell me the verdict of the thread ?????


yes but you have to keep reading ....


----------



## Glassback

Yes No Carbs is some salesman/account clerk that pretends he owns the cars they sell. He pretended to have purchase an Audi RS5 and couldn't prove it (because he hadn't) and then took a pic of his name in a Scirroco because they are almost the same car, aren't they?

God if I was him I'd punch myself in the face so hard.


----------



## Uk_mb

neurospike7 said:


> See Page 37 for the allegedly "full" disclosure.
> 
> Still has to rank as one of the saddest things I've ever read on the net.
> 
> Really.


----------



## Craig660

HAHAHA just read p37 what a absolute tool. Nothing gets past you lot on here!!


----------



## Uk_mb

when i first read it , i thort lucky guy, then i came back a few days later and every1 was slating him...

So i went back and read again :lol:

give him his due tho... he did admit he exaturated a lot . (no, i cant spell)

but yes still a tool


----------



## Trapps84

Nocarbs said:


>


 I dont see a club card anymore? lol


----------



## VeNuM

Trapps84 said:


> I dont see a club card anymore? lol


Could be his girlfriends motor? nice pink smelly there


----------



## Trapps84

VeNuM said:


> Could be his girlfriends motor? nice pink smelly there


 well if thats the case the plot thickens


----------



## Uk_mb

i hope to god it turns out to be :lol:


----------



## vduboli

monsterballs said:


> i hope to god it turns out to be :lol:


me too


----------



## Patsy

monsterballs said:


> i hope to god it turns out to be :lol:


And just when you thought the thread was dead..... :lol:


----------



## Uk_mb

LMAO i will never let this thread die. REPS PLEASE :lol:


----------



## Guest

monsterballs said:


> REPS PLEASE :lol:


Later


----------



## Conscript

:lol: this thread is like throwing a juicy steak to a pack of starving wolves!!


----------



## lolik

noaudi you are my hero


----------



## Elbabbo

What a read that was, absolutley epic. Keep it going


----------



## Uk_mb




----------



## Uk_mb

Elbabbo said:


> What/ a read that was, absolutley epic. Keep it going


lmao u went thru th whole thread


----------



## Elbabbo

Well worth the read.


----------



## Elbabbo

Believe it or not I drive an R Reg VWT4 with a bed in the back, I know pretty amazing for a 26 year old. Posted this link on the VWT4forum to give them a chuckle and turns out that they too had a nocar...

http://www.vwt4forum.co.uk/showthread.php?t=79923


----------



## Uk_mb

bump:whistling:


----------



## Robbie

Elbabbo said:


> Believe it or not I drive an R Reg VWT4 with a bed in the back, I know pretty amazing for a 26 year old. Posted this link on the VWT4forum to give them a chuckle and turns out that they too had a nocar...
> 
> http://www.vwt4forum.co.uk/showthread.php?t=79923


Awesome!


----------



## Jay_1986

Elbabbo said:


> Believe it or not I drive an R Reg VWT4 with a bed in the back, I know pretty amazing for a 26 year old. Posted this link on the VWT4forum to give them a chuckle and turns out that they too had a nocar...
> 
> http://www.vwt4forum.co.uk/showthread.php?t=79923


Just read both threads, absolutely brilliant! I can't believe grown men would lie about what car they have. Maybe they are trying to compensate for something?!

At least our nocar gave a proper apology, the guy on that other site just kept digging!


----------



## Tasty

Haha came in here to tell you fellas to let it lie, we did our job... but that thread from the other forum is quality too! Haha.


----------



## jaycue2u

This is brilliant, i started reading the thread when it started some 58 pages ago, thought nice car then Ewen wades in with his no believing mind, kept up to date for the 1st 16 pages or so then left it, but iv just read it through from that point and im SO glad i did!!! THANK YOU NOAUDI! And thank you Ewen for instigating such an entertaining thread :clap:


----------



## Conscript

Nocarbs = DjDrift!!!


----------



## MRSTRONG

Trapps84 said:


> I dont see a club card anymore? lol


thats because that was someone else's motor , the pic above ties in with the one on page 53 .

however as these seem days apart it might not be his vw , noaudi novw nojoke ....


----------



## Trapps84

Call him out ewen, what you got to say about that nosciroco?


----------



## Uk_mb

Jay_1986 said:


> Just read both threads, absolutely brilliant! I can't believe grown men would lie about what car they have.


 especially to a group of horny test riddled men. At least go onto a sewing machine or pony forum and then u cud really impress some unsuspecting victims


----------



## Elbabbo

Seriously though why would anyone try and gain admiration from people they will never know or meet? If you really want to try and look big time just lease something flash. Maybe I'm just from a better gene pool and don't have to worry about the car I drive...


----------



## jazzmc

"Don't Hate the Player,,Hate the Game".Is that the ,Make a pure C*nt of yourself game pmsl.What about the picture of you and your Mrs,are we any closer to some confirmation or will we make our own minds up.


----------



## Craig660

I havnt been around UKM much but this is the best thread I have read for ages,

Defo in the UKM classic collection


----------



## VeNuM

Conscript said:


> Nocarbs = DjDrift!!!


bahahaha! NoDrift?!

my god, reading that driftworks thread is pure comedy gold.


----------



## Conscript

VeNuM said:


> bahahaha! NoDrift?!
> 
> my god, reading that driftworks thread is pure comedy gold.


Best (as in worst) excuse ever! :lol:


----------



## Trapps84

No sight of noaudi:scirocco:life:job:bird, I think it's finally got to much.

Shame really I would love him to come back on and tell another blaitent porky to get the ball rolling again!


----------



## MRSTRONG

MacUK said:


> I dont know what's worse Nocarbs lying or you guys still posting in this thread ?


like you just have ......


----------



## MRSTRONG

MacUK said:


> Enjoy the thread big lad


big lad ...but im only small .... :rolleye:


----------



## Uk_mb

50+ pages of pure uk-m spirit. VOTE STICKY! Re-named "if u can't tell the truth prepare for 57page rinsing"


----------



## Big ape

Bumped for noaudiforever


----------



## Patsy

Big ape said:


> Bumped for noaudiforever


My Man!!!


----------



## Patsy

http://www.uk-muscle.co.uk/general-conversation/156862-bragging-i-just-had-flex-lewis-training-beside-me-repost-proof.html

:whistling: :lol:


----------



## littledaz

Well only read the first 22 pages does it stay as funny as that for the rest of the pages??


----------



## vduboli

littledaz said:


> Well only read the first 22 pages does it stay as funny as that for the rest of the pages??


No it's just gets better and better! Poor guy I actually feel bad now!


----------



## Uk_mb

vduboli said:


> No it's just gets better and better! Poor guy I actually feel bad now!


I don't :lol:


----------



## Uk_mb

I don't no if nocarbs still posts on here but if you do please please apply for a name change to 'noaudi'

You will receive countless reps


----------



## asc

Bang! Read the entire thread. Silly silly man, then the threats(??!!), but at least he held his hands up. Good read that!

Well done the internet detectives:thumb:


----------



## Uk_mb

Rename thread as "NOAUDI" made my "NOAUDI" who has ......


----------



## littledaz

vduboli said:


> No it's just gets better and better! Poor guy I actually feel bad now!


Thanks for that ive just made the effort and read from 22 to 60 now.


----------



## Patsy

So let me narrow this down and get it right, You really don't have an Audi? :whistling:


----------



## Guest

PatWelsh said:


> So let me narrow this down and get it right, You really don't have an Audi? :whistling:


PMSL!

You love this thread Pat!


----------



## Patsy

R0B said:


> PMSL!
> 
> You love this thread Pat!


Its the only thing i have in my life that keeps me sane at the moment bro, besides that Me and Monsterballs made a blood brother pact to bump the fcuker into 2012 lol


----------



## Machette

BRO IF THE CAR IS YOURS AND YOU DID BUY IT; AT LEAST BUY1 WITH A FLAT BOTTOM STEERING WHEEL...


----------



## Guest

rs60786 said:


> BRO IF THE CAR IS YOURS AND YOU DID BUY IT; AT LEAST BUY1 WITH A FLAT BOTTOM STEERING WHEEL...


Ahem.......

Read the thread again 

:whistling:


----------



## Trapps84

noaudi's real vw


----------



## Guest

Trapps84 said:


> noaudi's real vw
> View attachment 68754


I believe that's a "rat" VW Scirocco GT2


----------



## Uk_mb

R0B are you a 'happy days' no audi subscriber aswell lmaooo


----------



## Guest

monsterballs said:


> R0B are you a 'happy days' no audi subscriber aswell lmaooo


I like to dip in every now and then


----------



## kingdale

just read first 16 pages. gota say best thread ive ever read. cant belive someone would make that up. makes me wonder how many other people make stuff up here aswell


----------



## kingdale

read it all i just couldnt stop halfway through. good god it was worth the read


----------



## asc

kingdale said:


> just read first 16 pages. gota say best thread ive ever read. cant belive someone would make that up. makes me wonder how many other people make stuff up here aswell


Read the rest, it comes back alive!!


----------



## kingdale

i did  its hilarious


----------



## Uk_mb

Come on. Let's bump this fukcer to next year!


----------



## Guest

monsterballs said:


> Come on. Let's bump this fukcer to next year!


No !  :lol:


----------



## Uk_mb

R0B said:


> No !  :lol:


 well that's what u wrote on your xmas list to santa roberto


----------



## kingdale

ill play no part in bumping this thread its just harsh


----------



## usernameneeded

yeah defo no more bumping of this thread :whistling:


----------



## gashead88

lol forgot all about this thread


----------



## lumix

We need Noaudi to pop in for a special guest appearance - that'll give it at least another 5 pages lol


----------



## Jeckyll

stop bumping it...no more bumps whatso ever


----------



## Jeckyll

i'm not sure I spelt whatso ever right...but anyway, stop bumping it


----------



## andy

lumix said:


> We need Noaudi to pop in for a special guest appearance - that'll give it at least another 5 pages lol


yeah...maybe to say that hes the c.e.o of audi, or maybe hes just won the euromillions, or hes just fcuked a supermodel, or his dog used to play drums in genesis.......

or some other similar sh1te.


----------



## Uk_mb

the first member of uk-m to find him posting on a new forum. I will personally give you ONE whole rep.

But then ill neg you for going on rival forums


----------



## Uk_mb

andy said:


> his dog used to play drums in genesis


That's his chat upline. Apart from he has nodog. :lol:


----------



## Guest

monsterballs said:


> the first member of uk-m to find him posting on a new forum. I will personally give you ONE whole rep.
> 
> But then ill neg you for going on rival forums


He's on swingers anonymous :whistling:

So I've been told 

Here's his AVI .....


----------



## Uk_mb

Hahahahaha yes!


----------



## kingdale

not even 1 more bump?


----------



## vduboli

kingdale said:


> not even 1 more bump?


Nope it's gone on far enough!!


----------



## kingdale

its been a while


----------



## andy

still going strong.....just what i like to see............


----------



## Uk_mb

nocarbs has started his rampage against audi's


----------



## Patsy

The Truth :lol:


----------



## Raptor

monsterballs said:


> That's his chat upline. Apart from he has nodog. :lol:


nocarbs noaudi nodog pmsl


----------



## Uk_mb

Raptor said:


> nocarbs noaudi nodog pmsl


lmfaooo :lol:

oh fuk i hope he starts posting again

That would make my life


----------



## Patsy

monsterballs said:


> lmfaooo :lol:
> 
> oh fuk i hope he starts posting again
> 
> That would make my life


He's definitely stealth lurking, nobody can come up with gold like this and drift off into the sunset without curiosity eating away lol :lol:


----------



## Uk_mb

lmfao i no he is defo lurking

IF YOU CAN HEAR ME MR AUDI ... COME BACK TO THE DARKSIDE !!


----------



## eezy1

come back so i can give you a slap


----------



## Uk_mb

eezy1 said:


> come back so i can give you a slap


 :lol: :w00t:


----------



## Patsy

I know this sounds sad (or probably fcuking hilarious to most) but the day i opened this thread i was in work, on some sh1tty building site p1ssing down with rain, honestly my day couldnt have got any worse lol and then i read it and thought fairplay to the guy, atleast someone is doing well for themselves in todays current climate, hats off to you, not gonna lie the thought of you sitting warm comfortable in a brand new top of the range motor did get my green senses tingling a bit.. just a bit, after all im only human and the day in question was a miserable one for me for matters i wont disclose. Anyway...

So... You can understand to my horror when i get back in that same very night to find find that not only the OP has duped us all but our very own UK-M crack squad of detectives have found out that he has stolen the pics off another site! seriously i thought my life was dim but i suddenly realise things aint all that bad, and moral of the story is when it hits rock bottom.. You can always sign up to a public forum and lie, even if it only lasts a while lol


----------



## Uk_mb

dude , i cant rep you for that as i think ive alredy repped you 123234 times for this thread but ...

You can always sign up to a public forum and lie :lol: :lol: fookin cracker !!


----------



## Uk_mb

nocarbs ... Last Activity:26-11-2011 01:05 PM

:bounce:

CUM ON MATE... JUST ONE MORE POST pleaseeee


----------



## Trapps84

second that.......please nocarbs or are you noballs?


----------



## kingdale

need this bumped till new years! ( yes i joined the pact without being asked)


----------



## Sub-Zero

Noaudi still a Noshow...


----------



## Guest

No car bs

What a fvcking thread


----------



## Impulse2903

How the **** is this still going!


----------



## kingdale

we dont want it to be forgotten


----------



## kingdale

other than porn its actually best thing ive seen on the internet


----------



## Uk_mb

I second that king!

And welcome aboard the NOtrain

Your bumping is apreciated greatly


----------



## usernameneeded

Bump

To get this thread to the new year


----------



## Jay_1986

What's all this bumping business? Bump?


----------



## aesthetics4ever

Bumping it up to the top near the latest threads so more people can see it.


----------



## Tasty

Let it go, this thread was done ages ago


----------



## Patsy

Tasty said:


> Let it go, this thread was done ages ago


What are you high or something?


----------



## Trapps84

if anyone was ever down and i was there shoulder to cry on and i needed to cheer them up first of all I would listen to there problems then put the kettle on make them a brew place my laptop on them and say,

read to about page 60 this will cheer you up.


----------



## Uk_mb

Haha and then they would join uk-m just for this thread 

Sso even tho it myt annoy some memebers its promoting uk-m  .

If u don't like it. Don't click on it lol


----------



## kingdale

this thread has made me doubt what anyone on here says


----------



## vduboli

kingdale said:


> this thread has made me doubt what anyone on here says


Why?


----------



## kingdale

because if one guy is sad enough to come and lie about a car. makes you wonder how many other people are lying about stuff.


----------



## Uk_mb

Ok u got me. I'm a girl really


----------



## Guest

monsterballs said:


> Ok u got me. I'm a girl really


PM me the proof


----------



## vduboli

monsterballs said:


> Ok u got me. I'm a girl really


Piece of paper with uk m on a piece of paper covering your nipples or it's bull


----------



## golden

i have my eyes on an a7 and planning on ordering the 2012 model next year


----------



## Guest

golden said:


> i have my eyes on an a7 and planning on ordering the 2012 model next year


Me too, oh and an R8 Spyder  :lol:


----------



## vduboli

golden said:


> i have my eyes on an a7 and planning on ordering the 2012 model next year


Pics or bs


----------



## benicillin

pmsl this thread is great


----------



## Matt 1

Still not found out..

Why did you lie in the first place OP? Do you care what people of the internets think of you? Back fired slightly either way


----------



## kingdale

he never came back. think he realised what a loser he had been


----------



## Guest

kingdale said:


> he never came back. think he realised what a loser he had been


Oh he came back!!

Changed his username didn't he....it's monsterballs :lol:


----------



## usernameneeded

R0B said:


> Oh he came back!!
> 
> Changed his username didn't he....it's monsterballs :lol:


Nah his new username is

No:balls


----------



## Uk_mb

Hahahahaha sh!t u got me.

Not only am I a girl, I'm also nocarbs also I have no balls and no face. Sh!t. Night boys and. Fellowgirls


----------



## wee-chris

take it you sell drugs?


----------



## Guest

wee-chris said:


> take it you sell drugs?


Who no carbs......

If he did he'd have the car PMSL!?!


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish

Why do i miss threads like this?


----------



## Uk_mb

Haha no excuse! Get readin boyo!


----------



## Trapps84

I'll bump it for you so it's easy to find, get reading!


----------



## VeNuM

Has he left the site?

Something tells me we litteraly do have ''nocarbs'' any more


----------



## kingdale

i wonder if he realises what a ukm legend he is


----------



## Trapps84

Would be good to have him back!


----------



## Uk_mb

lmfao . dale's post on nocarbs visitor messages says it all ....

no audi

HAHAA


----------



## Fat

It got stolen already...


----------



## Fatstuff

u lot are draggin this thread out arent u


----------



## Breda

Yes they fckin are...... its dead leave it alone


----------



## Fatstuff

They are trying to turn this site into bb.com - moderators , lock this thread out so they don't achieve that!!!!


----------



## Breda

Fatstuff said:


> They are trying to turn this site into bb.com - moderators , lock this thread out so they don't achieve that!!!!


x2


----------



## Fat

X4


----------



## Tasty

If you weren't there at the start, you don't suddenly become involved by bumping it with meaningless bollocks...


----------



## Uk_mb

MacUK said:


> Could be worse, could have an avi of ironman, o wait....


Probably the worst comeback ever

HOWEVER

I'm sorry. Dan. I see here you're comin from ironMAN/ironDAN

But... It is a pretty gay avi


----------



## Guest

monsterballs said:


> Probably the worst comeback ever
> 
> HOWEVER
> 
> I'm sorry. Dan. I see here you're comin from ironMAN/ironDAN
> 
> But... It is a pretty gay avi


Get your new AVI out my journal you bellend


----------



## Guest

IronDan said:


> Coming from someone in the vest pack?


Ahem, one of the original founders right here


----------



## Guest

1,000th post


----------



## Fatstuff

IronDan said:


> Not many posts off it tho
> 
> could be worse - I could be a small heath fan lol :whistling:


im a small heath fan, and what!!!!


----------



## Fatstuff

R0B said:


> Ahem, one of the original founders right here


I had the 2nd fake vest   flintys dont count as his is real..... kinda


----------



## Breda

Fatstuff said:


> im a small heath fan, and what!!!!


They're sh!te mate!!


----------



## Guest

Fatstuff said:


> I had the 2nd fake vest   flintys dont count as his is real..... kinda


Luthers is the best


----------



## Fatstuff

Breda said:


> They're sh!te mate!!


lol i know, its just geography with me, i lived about 2 miles from there when i was growing up, i dont even like football  its ghey:lol:


----------



## Uk_mb

Mines a bit gay don't ya think. I didn't opt for the typical camo look


----------



## DutchTony

Here's my little runaround :w00t:


----------



## DutchTony

flinty90 said:


> mate he didnt even get a new car thats the kicker of it all lol... its like he is a salesman and has sold us all a dream ... lol


Crying with laughter at that one


----------



## Patsy

Oh well 68 pages in and i have actually come to terms with myself that this guy really dont have an Audi.

Im off to find another worthy opponent thread to troll who's with me?

Seriously can someone even make up a thread of bollox to entertain me and the uk-m boys?


----------



## Uk_mb

No audi?? WHAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?


----------



## Patsy

monsterballs said:


> No audi?? WHAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?


Seriously mate took me a while but i had to question my own sanity, i was losing the plot over an alleged ownership of a car ffs, it became an obsession that had me on the brink of reality for a while but im fine now.

Happy Xmas NoAudi, i think i can speak on behalf of my uk-m brothers that you gave us many hours lulz in this pure gold of a thread

Nadolig Llawen


----------



## Uk_mb

haha fkin hell. I want him to come back


----------



## Uk_mb

:bounce:


----------



## ki3rz

He probably registered again with a different username lol


----------



## Machette

Was that bird he showed us even his girlfriend? I havnt read the rest but wasnt the s3 or that smaller audi his?

Noaudi u prik; ****in confusing me!!!??!


----------



## Uk_mb

rs60786 said:


> Was that bird he showed us even his girlfriend? I havnt read the rest but wasnt the s3 or that smaller audi his?
> 
> Noaudi u prik; ****in confusing me!!!??!


No. Nothing was his :lol:


----------



## Machette

The model lookin guy wasnt him either was it?

I bet he was a mr bean lookin mofo!

What a prik!

Noaudi

Nocar

Nowomen

Mr Noman!!!! Hahaha


----------



## Trapps84

its still going!

we want noaudi we want no audi we want no audi,

I should of asked santa if he could get noaudi to post a xmas msg for us all!


----------



## Uk_mb

Trapps84 said:


> its still going!
> 
> we want noaudi we want no audi we want no audi,
> 
> I should of asked santa if he could get noaudi to post a xmas msg for us all!


Well if you compare. His profile to 'misshayley'

His last post is freakishly near to the time she joined. Hmmmm


----------



## Trapps84

that would be f-ing amazing if not only all that **** noaudi said aint true let alone there sex!

pmsl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Singh01

Wouldnt surprise me if he was misshayley, she seems to be a weirdo


----------



## Uk_mb

Singh01 said:


> Wouldnt surprise me if he was misshayley, she seems to be a weirdo


Lmao yes. Some1 agrees with me !

But in this day and age we myt get banned for saying such :lol:


----------



## Dux

Fcuk me, I've just sat and read this entire thread from start to finish.

I can't believe I missed it before


----------



## Uk_mb

Lmao haha its a keeper!

U get my email


----------



## Dux

Not yet mate, when did you send it?

Last one I got was the one from yesterday before I went out.


----------



## Singh01

monsterballs said:


> Lmao yes. Some1 agrees with me !
> 
> But in this day and age we myt get banned for saying such :lol:


The things she says are really weird, people on here seem to lap it all up though.

Please dont ban me.


----------



## Trevor McDonald

Wonder if he got a Ferrari for Xmas....


----------



## Trapps84

Singh01 said:


> "The things she says are really weird, people on here seem to lap it all up though."
> 
> Due to her being female and not that many on here that certainly helps being surrounded by test filled aas users, it has gone a bit FB the last few weeks
> 
> Please dont ban me.


----------



## Dux

How come no one pulled up NoCar on the fact he works for VW so he could easily have taken those pics from inside one of the many cars on his works forecourt?

The black Scirocco obviously wasn't his because he couldn't get into it to take a picture.

The keys were probably from his mums Polo


----------



## Trapps84

I think by that point it was just ridicule mode and enough bs was uncovered for everyone to not care and just slate him or maybe her..........................


----------



## sawyer

Singh01 said:


> The things she says are really weird, people on here seem to lap it all up though.
> 
> That's because she is a bird
> 
> Please dont ban me.


----------



## Uk_mb

I no wat u mean about going all facebook

Signing off posts.

...

Lots of love

Hayley


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish

looks like this thread is about to get interesting again, and yes i have noticed the extent some will go for a little female attention :whistling:


----------



## Uk_mb

emeritus said:


> looks like this thread is about to get interesting again, and yes i have noticed the extent some will go for a little female attention :whistling:


That's what nocarbs noticed. That's why he did it


----------



## Trapps84

monsterballs said:


> That's what nocarbs noticed. That's why he did it


 He?

oh just for the record im not saying hayley is noaudi..................just it would be awesome to open another chapter to the NO saga!


----------



## VeNuM

Trapps84 said:


> He?
> 
> oh just for the record im not saying hayley is noaudi..................just it would be awesome to open another chapter to the NO saga!


There is something odd about a particular member, i thought i was the only one to pick up on it lol


----------



## Queenie

Ems, Trapps, Big Balls and Venum = Poirot, Morse, Clouseau and Holmes. You can choose who is who  x x


----------



## Uk_mb

Lmaoo ooops busted !!


----------



## Trapps84

i'll just be watson and stick my nose in when it gets intresting


----------



## Trapps84

hang on RXQueenie or is it Misshayley aka Nocarbs?

I call fraud, trying to take the crack team of the sent well you've failed


----------



## Uk_mb

Lol crack team


----------



## Queenie

Trapps84 said:


> hang on RXQueenie or is it Misshayley aka Nocarbs?
> 
> I call fraud, trying to take the crack team of the sent well you've failed


Haha, BUSTED. i'm nocarbs and i'm sitting here in my mums vw polo. FVCK!!!!! x x


----------



## Uk_mb

RXQueenie said:


> Haha, BUSTED. i'm nocarbs and i'm sitting here in my mums vw polo. FVCK!!!!! x x


 Lmfao hahahahah


----------



## Trapps84

**** were been suckered in by a female like we've jsut been slating, were being played lads!

oi quennie nocarbs hayley who ever you are im not playing anymore lol

just noticed youve been a member about the same time as hayley and not long after carbs did one.........huuuummmm


----------



## Queenie

Trapps84 said:


> **** were been suckered in by a female like we've jsut been slating, were being played lads!
> 
> oi quennie nocarbs hayley who ever you are im not playing anymore lol
> 
> just noticed youve been a member about the same time as hayley and not long after carbs did one.........huuuummmm


Lol hayley wasnt here when i started posting. You are clearly a rubbish detective  x x


----------



## asc

Didnt Hayley invite people to add to facebook when she joined? Even by Nocarbs extent to lie, this would be a whole new level would it not? To invent someone JUST to come to this forum, and then to create a facebook about the person...


----------



## asc

Right, we need a pic of hayley with uk-m scrawled across her forehead now, or NoHayley..


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish

inspector clouseau is currently out the office please leave a message


----------



## kingdale

monster wonder if you could be onto something there!


----------



## Patsy

I knew this thread would live on!

NoQueenie :lol:


----------



## Queenie

Right, i want to be a detective now!

Jessica Fletcher  x x


----------



## Queenie

PatWelsh said:


> I knew this thread would live on!
> 
> NoQueenie :lol:


dont you NoQueenie me or youll get a slap!!  x x


----------



## Dux

RXQueenie said:


> Right, i want to be a detective now!
> 
> Jessica Fletcher  x x


You're the prime suspect!


----------



## Queenie

Dux said:


> You're the prime suspect!


No, another female is the prime suspect... i'm an innocent bystander who wants to join the crack team  x x


----------



## Patsy

RXQueenie said:


> dont you NoQueenie me or youll get a slap!!  x x


Pics of Queenie with uk-m on paper or i demand a username change to NoQueenie :whistling:


----------



## Queenie

PatWelsh said:


> Pics of Queenie with uk-m on paper or i demand a username change to NoQueenie :whistling:


No... i refuse to give into your sordid little uk-m pic fantasies u perv x x


----------



## Fatstuff

queenie can only put pics of her torso, as she has no arms and no legs, nolimbs


----------



## Trapps84

asc said:


> Didnt Hayley invite people to add to facebook when she joined? Even by Nocarbs extent to lie, this would be a whole new level would it not? To invent someone JUST to come to this forum, and then to create a facebook about the person...


i took umpteen different bits of evidence for noaudi queenie hayley who ever to admit they bs'ed and even then "the truth" was proved to be b0ll0cks, if they went to that extent to lie to a load of people that are in reality nothing to them except digital entities in there life i wouldnt put it past them to be even sader.

sorry queenie but your a sick puppy,lol


----------



## misshayley

asc said:


> Didnt Hayley invite people to add to facebook when she joined? Even by Nocarbs extent to lie, this would be a whole new level would it not? To invent someone JUST to come to this forum, and then to create a facebook about the person...


Yes i am no carbs . i have set up a fake facebook which some of u all added and i have nealy 2000 fake photos of this "hayley" ... Really!? i think not! I have no idea who this nocarbs is but i am me and no one else !


----------



## Queenie

Fatstuff said:


> queenie can only put pics of her torso, as she has no arms and no legs, nolimbs


i do have a face, i promise x x


----------



## kingdale

nocarbs was a girl all along?


----------



## Patsy

This is quickly turning into a JMarsh esque thread were a mod will soon foil said member as having the same ip address as NoSuspect lol!!


----------



## Fatstuff

RXQueenie said:


> i do have a face, i promise x x


----------



## Queenie

Trapps84 said:


> i took umpteen different bits of evidence for noaudi queenie hayley who ever to admit they bs'ed and even then "the truth" was proved to be b0ll0cks, if they went to that extent to lie to a load of people that are in reality nothing to them except digital entities in there life i wouldnt put it past them to be even sader.
> 
> sorry queenie but your a sick puppy,lol


ok i admit i'm a sick puppy, but that does not make me nocarbs/audi/whatever x x


----------



## Queenie

Fatstuff said:


>


anyway - you only have a pic of your torso too u git!!  x x


----------



## misshayley

im not even going to bother following this its boring but its quite amusing u think i might be someone else .. i guess it keeps the small minds entertained!


----------



## Queenie

misshayley said:


> im not even going to bother following this its boring but its quite amusing u think i might be someone else .. i guess it keeps the small minds entertained!


hayley - these are some of the greatest detective minds in the world (who got it wrong haha)  x x


----------



## kingdale

pat he has thought this through. he has BT hub where the ip adress changes when you turn it off


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish

misshayley said:


> im not even going to bother following this its boring but its quite amusing u think i might be someone else .. i guess it keeps the small minds entertained!


I was "clouseau" and it was all light hearted unless im the only "detective" who didnt take it seriously :confused1:

(in French accent)


----------



## Patsy

kingdale said:


> pat he has thought this through. he has BT hub where the ip adress changes when you turn it off


Or he is in an internet cafe or library, fcuk me we are gonna need Columbo on this one lol


----------



## Queenie

PatWelsh said:


> Or he is in an internet cafe or library, fcuk me we are gonna need Columbo on this one lol


Uriel can be Columbo x x


----------



## Trapps84

emeritus said:


> I was "clouseau" was all light hearted unless im the only "detective" who didnt take it seriously :confused1:
> 
> (in French accent)


 of course im taking it seriously this is my job.lol


----------



## misshayley

emeritus said:


> it was all light hearted unless im the only "detective" who didnt take it seriously :confused1:


cant be bothered to read through it to be honest :/


----------



## misshayley

can someone jus give me a quick low down of who nocarbs is? did he/she make a tit of themselves or something?!


----------



## kingdale

the creater of this thread pretended to have a car he didnt


----------



## Queenie

misshayley said:


> can someone jus give me a quick low down of who nocarbs is? did he/she make a tit of themselves or something?!


Yeah.... u need to read the thread really. Its legendary x x


----------



## Trapps84

misshayley said:


> can someone jus give me a quick low down of who nocarbs is? did he/she make a tit of themselves or something?!


a ****1ng legend it a very wierd way there is NOway it can be explained read the first 20 pages and i promise you wont stop reading, unless your not sad and childish lol


----------



## Patsy

RXQueenie said:


> Yeah.... u need to read the thread really. Its legendary x x


But she have already stated she is bored of this thread even though she hasnt read it lol


----------



## Trapps84

hang on there him her who ever are trying to chuck us of the sent pretending they havent read it come on team detective!


----------



## misshayley

Trapps84 said:


> a ****1ng legend it a very wierd way there is NOway it can be explained read the first 20 pages and i promise you wont stop reading, unless your not sad and childish lol


Trapps, ive jus read some of your posts ... u think im weird? ha this is funny, weird and wonderful definitely  im on nights at work tonight so if i get a spare hour or 2 il read into it x


----------



## Machette

misshayley said:


> can someone jus give me a quick low down of who nocarbs is? did he/she make a tit of themselves or something?!


So i take it you havnt read the thread but somehow you know that this nocarbs fella made a tit of himself...

Hmmmm interesting!

*taking notes in little black book*

lolllll


----------



## misshayley

rs60786 said:


> So i take it you havnt read the thread but somehow you know that this nocarbs fella made a tit of himself...
> 
> Hmmmm interesting!
> 
> *taking notes in little black book*
> 
> lolllll


No Dux messaged me saying i was getting a slating on this and said about nocarbs .. i read the last few pages but not it all


----------



## Uk_mb

misshayley said:


> can someone jus give me a quick low down of who nocarbs is? did he/she make a tit of themselves or something?!


Like you don't no, nohayley :lol: :bounce:


----------



## kingdale

brownie points for dux


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish

misshayley said:


> No Dux messaged me saying i was getting a slating on this and said about nocarbs .. i read the last few pages but not it all


who is this DUX?? THE SNITCH :whistling:


----------



## kingdale

ive noticed the only people left in this thread seem to be as imature as me


----------



## Trapps84

misshayley said:


> Trapps, ive jus read some of your posts ... u think im weird? ha this is funny, weird and wonderful definitely  im on nights at work tonight so if i get a spare hour or 2 il read into it x


 read them again i never said you were wierd they were quotes from others in my posts and i also stated i didnt think it was you being nocarbs, enjoy the read if you get round to it. :thumb:


----------



## Queenie

misshayley said:


> No Dux messaged me saying i was getting a slating on this and said about nocarbs .. i read the last few pages but not it all


dux clearly wants a BJ x x


----------



## Uk_mb

:bounce:

Ok okk if hayley isn't nocabs in disguise. Some1 is hmmmmm

TO THE BAT CAVE!


----------



## kingdale

dont say that. she will message dux sayin he is gettin a slating!


----------



## kingdale

monster people didnt get the truth outa noaudi by giving up that fast


----------



## Trapps84

hayley and dux sitting in a tree....................


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish

RXQueenie said:


> dux clearly wants a BJ x x


thanks to one of the suspects this thread is now going to a whole different direction..... below the belt


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish

Trapps84 said:


> hayley and dux sitting in a tree....................


N.O.S.H.I.N.G


----------



## kingdale

do i hear wedding bells?


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish

proper like a school playground :lol:


----------



## Dux

Lol

I only pointed her in the direction of the thread


----------



## kingdale

but if it was a boy getting slating would you pm them?


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish

Dux said:


> Lol
> 
> I only pointed her in the direction of the thread


how was it :whistling:


----------



## kingdale

sorry im just bored should really spend this time looking for a job


----------



## Trapps84

kingdale said:


> sorry im just bored should really spend this time looking for a job


 so do you have any detective backround on your cv? :lol:


----------



## Dux

If I had the means to, yes.

I've 36 different contact numbers for nocarbs, but I never know which one to use


----------



## kingdale

trapps i had a plumbing apprenticeship for a day, paper round for 3 days and worked at sainsburys cant think why im struggling to find a job


----------



## Trapps84

kingdale said:


> trapps i had a plumbing apprenticeship for a day, paper round for 3 days and worked at sainsburys cant think why im struggling to find a job


well your more qualified than anyone on the team would you like the MD role?


----------



## kingdale

yeah! do you think this will get my parents off my back about been a dosseR?


----------



## Uk_mb

misshayley said:


> im not even going to bother following this its boring but its quite amusing u think i might be someone else .. i guess it keeps the small minds entertained!


It was a bit of banter saying it was you!

But if ur gna say this thread is boring so all ur 163 daily threads started :lol:


----------



## Trapps84

kingdale said:


> yeah! do you think this will get my parents off my back about been a dosseR?


 um well................probably not but you'll be the boss(of an unpaid job)


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish

monsterballs said:


> It was a bit of banter saying it was you!
> 
> But if ur gna say this thread is boring so all ur 163 daily threads started :lol:


----------



## Uk_mb

Trapps84 said:


> um well................probably not but you'll be the boss(of an unpaid job)


Much like a nun

Would you like to become a nun


----------



## Trapps84

monsterballs said:


> Much like a nun
> 
> Would you like to become a nun


 dont get me started with nuns i grew up by an all girls boarding convent......them nuns can move if they catch you up to no good!

that is'nt a joke either


----------



## misshayley

monsterballs said:


> It was a bit of banter saying it was you!
> 
> But if ur gna say this thread is boring so all ur 163 daily threads started :lol:


Stop picking on me


----------



## Fatstuff

monsterballs said:


> It was a bit of banter saying it was you!
> 
> But if ur gna say this thread is boring so all ur 163 daily threads started :lol:


Lol


----------



## Prophecy

Nice read


----------



## bailey-bose

good stuff


----------



## Prophecy

bailey-bose said:


> good stuff


Nice car. Is it new?


----------



## Matt 1

still not established why you made this thread in the first place NoAudi ?


----------



## bailey-bose

yh brought it last week  and no i dont work for ferrari


----------



## Guest

just read it all

thread delivered

Audi didn't


----------



## Uk_mb

t4tremendous said:


> just read it all
> 
> thread delivered
> 
> Audi didn't


lmao no1 is ever gunna believe a single thing he says anymore

thort he was gone for good


----------



## Big ape

a bump for the legendary thread page 1 - 15 is the highlight of this emotional rollercoaster


----------



## Kennyken

From what ive read form other threads this is a quite a famous thread! Can someone explain why as i cant read through 75 pages

Cheers


----------



## Big ape

guy comes on boasting about a audi he got in the end it was a showroom car for the company he works people found pics on google and he got abused


----------



## Uk_mb

i think its page 37 or 19 when he gets caught out haha :lol:


----------



## Little stu

Bet he drives a yugo no were I get my bugatti next week al post pics when it comes ha ha


----------



## barsnack

i wish i didnt miss this thread when it was going att he start, but bravo to no-carbs for his disregard of his morals and self respect for our benefit


----------



## Little stu

I like this lad can't help dreaming bet he's a boy racer with an old vauxhall nover with a sign on the back window saying you hav just been nova takeing


----------



## Uk_mb

Little stu said:


> I like this lad can't help dreaming bet he's a boy racer with an old vauxhall nover with a sign on the back window saying you hav just been nova takeing


take it youve just seen my car !!


----------



## Little stu

Nothing wrong with a nova nothing right with 1 either tho lol I got Audi crapest one u can get ad send pics but don't want ur pitty


----------



## CaveMan

'I've always been very competitive, that's how I got to where I am...'

anyone remember the old Audi yuppie advert, think this dude is trying to be him


----------



## Riddar

Been a good laugh reading the first 40 pages or so... can't beat a bit of banter.


----------



## DoIEvenLift

Nocarbs said:


> Ok don't ask what went through my head posting the other day an clearly wasn't thinking the impact it would create in making me look a tool. However 33 pages later and all kudos lost I've probably become uk m biggest loser haha.
> 
> I do work for vw / Audi financial services and I drive a new sirroco GT 170 black edition.
> 
> So half was truth.


the confession page 37 lol


----------



## SATANSEVILTWIN

Nocarbs said:


> Never once said that was me in my avi. Why would I when I've already posted pics of myself on here. Listen I'm not bothered if anyone believes what I drive. I change my car all the time. Had an S3 golf gti. Golf R. You name it I've had it


bugatti vehron!


----------



## SATANSEVILTWIN

great thread.75 pages of complete bully hahahaha.and nocarbs hasnt been seen since:lol:


----------



## DoIEvenLift

noaudi

you mad bro?


----------



## Fatboy80

Just finished reading this thread. Phew.


----------



## vduboli

Fatboy80 said:


> Just finished reading this thread. Phew.


I really miss Noaudi, I wonder how it's all going?!


----------



## Uk_mb

vduboli said:


> I really miss Noaudi, I wonder how it's all going?!


Oh god, well just hazard a guess. He has bought all duncan bannatines gyms off him for £6.32 each and he acquired the deeds to the olympic stadium in london and plans to turn it into a garden centre in the next 2 weeks


----------



## Trapps84

I heard he found the patent for sliced bread.


----------



## Uk_mb

Oh are we bumping this fcuker again haha


----------



## Guest

bump bump bump. Lies lies lies :lol:

He must have an exceptionally small penis to of made this thread


----------



## Trapps84

No he told me his member cast a shadow that shrouded the Eiffel tower.


----------



## James s

Nocarbs said:


> View attachment 66902
> 
> 
> Taken just before I drove off from my dealer


Ex drug running car huh


----------



## Ragingagain

this thread is legendary, not read it all but got the main bits lol. heard about this thread for about welll ages lol..........hah just look at the title


----------



## Ragingagain

nors5 is a legend haha, funny how you nazis forced hime to tell the truth haha,


----------



## simon1985

fcuk,hell of read! worth it though haha


----------



## Dirk McQuickly

I'm subbing this co i've heard so much about it. I'm going to wait until I've got a bit of time, put my feet up with a nice cup of tea and read it.


----------



## Trapps84

chilli said:


> I'm subbing this co i've heard so much about it. I'm going to wait until I've got a bit of time, put my feet up with a nice cup of tea and read it.


You won't be disappointed.


----------



## DutchTony

Read it ages ago but gonna treat myself and read it again :lol:


----------



## SATANSEVILTWIN

poor fella hasnt been online for 3 months.lol.he could log in in 5 years time and this thread will still be going..................................................


----------



## Dirk McQuickly

only if people keep posting in it.


----------



## lxm

like you then ? ..........and me

Duhhhhh]


----------



## DutchTony

vduboli said:


> I love how this has now taken away from the topic at hand!
> 
> How's the handling?





Nocarbs said:


> How's your mum


 :lol:


----------



## Jimboi

Sweet Jesus! Just spent my afternoon reading this entire thread all 77 pages. What an Epic journey that was!!!

Got to say thanks to UK_mb for posting a link that sent me here, this thread is one of the best things I've read on a forum for years!!


----------



## BB_999

Does he confess somewhere in this thread that it was all BS??

If so what page?

Can't be @rsed to read the whole thing, read the first twelve pages.


----------



## Uk_mb

39ish


----------



## chandelierman

Page 37 reply 549


----------



## BB_999

chandelierman said:


> Page 37 reply 549


LOL, how lame.


----------



## LFCTH

One of the funniest things I've ever read on the net

Nearly spat me protein all over my laptop

ALL THOSE INVOLVED HATS OFF

CLASS


----------



## Uk_mb

Love it when ppl bump this. :lol:


----------



## Nidge

It sure was an epic read, he was well and truly owned.


----------



## IGotTekkers

I wonder what car he actually did have!

Smart car? Fiesta?


----------



## Patsy

IGotTekkers said:


> I wonder what car he actually did have!
> 
> Smart car? Fiesta?


Mate im wondering if the idiot even had a valid drivers licence tbh


----------



## Loveleelady

Nocarbs said:


> View attachment 66902
> 
> 
> Taken just before I drove off from my dealer


shes lovely


----------



## Fatboy80

Loveleelady said:


> shes lovely


Lol


----------



## Sc4mp0

Nocarbs said:


> View attachment 66902
> 
> 
> Taken just before I drove off from my dealer..........................on my scooter


I'm surprised not one of you read what he said properly.


----------



## Loveleelady

lol awww at least he has vehicle ambitions


----------



## squatthis

IGotTekkers said:


> I wonder what car he actually did have!
> 
> Smart car? Fiesta?


I do have a fiesta.... and it happens to be for sale.

Maybe nocarbs wants to buy it?

http://www.gumtree.com/p/cars-vans-motorbikes/ford-fiesta-zetec-s-tdci-16-sea-grey-51000-miles-leather-interior/108838743


----------



## Sc4mp0

squatthis said:


> I do have a fiesta.... and it happens to be for sale.
> 
> Maybe nocarbs wants to buy it?
> 
> http://www.gumtree.com/p/cars-vans-motorbikes/ford-fiesta-zetec-s-tdci-16-sea-grey-51000-miles-leather-interior/108838743


Hahahaha,No offence mate but taking a photo of a car outside a dealer doesnt necessarily mean its your car,as we have now established 

I love my little fiesta and would upgrade and buy yours if i could afford it. Although I do think its quite a high price for a 6 year old Fiesta,but I guess you're open for negotiations?


----------



## squatthis

It would be a high price if it were petrol, but its a low milage diesel, and its about the going rate.


----------



## Sc4mp0

squatthis said:


> It would be a high price if it were petrol, but its a low milage diesel, and its about the going rate.


Fvcking hell,fair enough. I know around sheffield you wouldn't get anything close to that price for it atm but good to luck you fella,hope you shift it soon :thumbup:


----------



## squatthis

Oh, and I can supply the requested photos with UK-M written on paper in the car if needs be.... though I don't think people would be so synical about a fiesta... not like im saying I have a brand new audi.


----------



## squatthis

Have you looked at these cars for sale? Because I am around sheffield, and yes they do go for this price.

Hell, webuyanycar offered 4500 for it, and they completely low ball to sell at a dealer.


----------



## Sc4mp0

squatthis said:


> Oh, and I can supply the requested photos with UK-M written on paper in the car if needs be.... though I don't think people would be so synical about a fiesta... not like im saying I have a brand new audi.


Wo wo wo WO, I was only joking about the photo outside the dealer mate.


----------



## squatthis

lol, i know.


----------



## andy

excellent that this is still going on.....poor nocarbs.....he was well and truly owned


----------



## Patsy

Loveleelady said:


> lol awww bless he has mental issues


 :whistling:


----------



## Sc4mp0

squatthis said:


> Have you looked at these cars for sale? Because I am around sheffield, and yes they do go for this price.
> 
> Hell, webuyanycar offered 4500 for it, and they completely low ball to sell at a dealer.


Did you take the car in to get it valued or did you do it over the phone/online?


----------



## dannnn

Oh wow, I just bought a new car also!

Taken just before I drove off from my dealer.........


----------



## Ragingagain

this guy is an absolute legend for doing this thread....lol just look at the title #happydays lllooooooooooooolllllllllllllll


----------



## Big_Idiot

Such a good thread, fcuking hilarious.


----------



## Uk_mb

squatthis said:


> I do have a fiesta.... and it happens to be for sale.
> 
> Maybe nocarbs wants to buy it?
> 
> http://www.gumtree.com/p/cars-vans-motorbikes/ford-fiesta-zetec-s-tdci-16-sea-grey-51000-miles-leather-interior/108838743


nocarbs told me that was his car


----------



## squatthis

Sc4mp0 said:


> Did you take the car in to get it valued or did you do it over the phone/online?


Over the phone, but what does it matter? I'm not selling it to them, its up for sale, if you are interested, make an offer. If not, why are you continuing this?


----------



## squatthis

Uk_mb said:


> nocarbs told me that was his car


Lol, i bet he did. He's got a fair few cars.

Does he post here any more?


----------



## Uk_mb

squatthis said:


> Lol, i bet he did. He's got a fair few cars.
> 
> Does he post here any more?


No, he turned homosexual


----------



## Sc4mp0

squatthis said:


> Over the phone, but what does it matter? I'm not selling it to them, its up for sale, if you are interested, make an offer. If not, why are you continuing this?


Because if you take it in you'll get a much lower quote. To be honest mate I think you're pricing yourself out of a sale so was just wanting to help so the car doesn't lose its value the more its being unsold. However I will leave it at that,good luck hope you get asking price.


----------



## squatthis

Sc4mp0 said:


> Because if you take it in you'll get a much lower quote. To be honest mate I think you're pricing yourself out of a sale so was just wanting to help so the car doesn't lose its value the more its being unsold. However I will leave it at that,good luck hope you get asking price.


Sorry mate, didn't mean to snap at you.

Had a fair bit of interest but some silly c*nts offering ridiculous prices as well.


----------



## Big_Idiot

I dont know why we didnt see it. It's hidden in his name.

No-Car-B-S

(BS = Bull Sh1t)


----------



## Sc4mp0

squatthis said:


> Sorry mate, didn't mean to snap at you.
> 
> Had a fair bit of interest but some silly c*nts offering ridiculous prices as well.


Haha don't worry about it mate,i rarely take things personally. No need to apologise about anything

Its hard to search and compare cars side to side while on a phone but quick look found this.

http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201230479858876

I believe its the same model as yours,just a year younger. Couldn't compare the fine details at the moment


----------



## squatthis

Sc4mp0 said:


> Haha don't worry about it mate,i rarely take things personally. No need to apologise about anything
> 
> Its hard to search and compare cars side to side while on a phone but quick look found this.
> 
> http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201230479858876
> 
> I believe its the same model as yours,just a year younger. Couldn't compare the fine details at the moment


Yeah i saw that 1. Theres gotta be something up with that, apart from the **** wheels. I can't see a dealer out pricing private ads if the car is sound.


----------



## squatthis

and in response to your previous posts, there is room for negotiation, there always is. But I'm not in a particular rush, just needs to be sold by november, and even then not too much problem if its not.


----------



## Sc4mp0

squatthis said:


> and in response to your previous posts, there is room for negotiation, there always is. But I'm not in a particular rush, just needs to be sold by november, and even then not too much problem if its not.


That's good that you're in no rush as you can hold out for a price you want.Honestly best of luck mate,hopefully you sell it before November so it doesn't drag out after that :thumbup:


----------



## Sc4mp0

squatthis said:


> Yeah i saw that 1. Theres gotta be something up with that, apart from the **** wheels. I can't see a dealer out pricing private ads if the car is sound.


Problem is the automotive industry is on its *rse at the moment so if a dealer is wanting to stay afloat they have to sell cars at minimum price to have money coming in and when things get better can go back to "normal" prices again


----------



## Joebrah

just wasted my day reading every page of this, best thread ive ever read.

i have just got one of these cars too  (no bs)

to prove its real here are my friends standing next to the car and a ukm sign


----------



## VeNuM

Joebrah said:


> just wasted my day reading every page of this, best thread ive ever read.
> 
> i have just got one of these cars too  (no bs)
> 
> to prove its real here are my friends standing next to the car and a ukm sign
> 
> View attachment 91846


Im the one wearing the suite, you cant see it in the picture, by my car is the RS6


----------



## Joebrah

VeNuM said:


> Im the one wearing the suite, you cant see it in the picture, by my car is the RS6


i must apologise now then for not coming over and saying hi, how f*cking rude of me, they are nice cars though aint they


----------



## essexboy

Seeing No audi has gone, ill post a pic of my current drive.............


----------



## Kennyken

Big_Idiot said:


> I dont know why we didnt see it. It's hidden in his name.
> 
> No-Car-B-S
> 
> (BS = Bull Sh1t)


Thanks for clearing what bs stands for mate.


----------



## Uk_mb

Kennyken said:


> Thanks for clearing what bs stands for mate.


 :lol:


----------



## Trapps84

Lads I'd be careful ever since this thread kick off it sent nocarbs into transfixed trance of aas & steel to return back to us all bigger and better physiqued than all of us...................he's 35st & 1% bf, he told me the other day.


----------



## Conscript

Nice!


----------



## Joe Shmoe

?


----------



## Conscript

Joe Shmoe said:


> ?


OP lied, never had an Audi, got busted, after much gloating, denied it for a few days, then came clean and was thoroughly ridiculed by hundreds of posters, classic thread... :lol: Worth the read!


----------



## Joe Shmoe

yeah, I read first time round, it was awesome. I was curious why raise the thread? worth a second read though, so good call lol.


----------



## ZyZee_2012

Conscript said:


> OP lied, never had an Audi, got busted, after much gloating, denied it for a few days, then came clean and was thoroughly ridiculed by hundreds of posters, classic thread... :lol: Worth the read!


Thanks, you just saved me a good hours worth lol


----------



## Nidge

Conscript said:


> OP lied, never had an Audi, got busted, after much gloating, denied it for a few days, then came clean and was thoroughly ridiculed by hundreds of posters, classic thread... :lol: Worth the read!


This thread has got to be one of UKM's Gold threads, well and truly BUSTED. :lol:


----------



## Sub-Zero




----------



## Ninja_smurf

Sub-Zero said:


>


Nice :thumb: This should be nocarbs new avi


----------



## Sub-Zero

Ninja_smurf said:


> Nice :thumb: This should be nocarbs new avi


lol...i don't think he's going to be showing up here anytime soon.


----------



## ducky699

nice car mate


----------



## Huntingground

The original and best NOAUDI thread


----------



## Biturb

V Nice , had the A5 3ltr derv quattro sport for while which used to go like stink, well built cars....


----------



## Dai Jones

O i see this has come out the wood work for the new year :thumb:


----------



## Ninja_smurf

Biturb said:


> V Nice , had the A5 3ltr derv quattro sport for while which used to go like stink, well built cars....


Continue reading after the first post buddy


----------



## zack amin

Dai Jones said:


> O i see this has come out the wood work for the new year :thumb:


theres a new noaudi thread lol no new tt


----------



## Biturb

Ninja_smurf said:


> Continue reading after the first post buddy


Will do....bit slow


----------



## Queenie

Dublin said:


> I didn't like that. Its 1.45 in morning in L.A an im on my lonesome in an unfamiliar place. Ill possibly have to sleep with the light on no bs!


Jealous that you're in LA!!! Want to go there this year


----------



## Alex The Kid

This never gets old.. Such a Hilerious read.. Who needs books


----------



## ciggy

This made my night and mornin, had 2 eventually skip a few posts


----------



## Alex The Kid

I've skipped afew posts too.. Did no carbs ever tell the reason behind this??? Why He felt he had to do this??? Just curious to see how some minds work.. Please find out LOL


----------



## mikep81

Alex The Kid said:


> I've skipped afew posts too.. Did no carbs ever tell the reason behind this??? Why He felt he had to do this??? Just curious to see how some minds work.. Please find out LOL


No he just said he didn't know what he was thinking. I think it all boils down to bragging rights and attention seeking. By saying something like that, he then had a load of people actively trying to engage in conversation with him. I don't really get it myself, it's all a little bit strange really! Have you read the gymgym thread? That is another cracking one. That guy wanted to fight everyone in a dungeon but the. Pulled out because he's trained to kill with his bare hands and was worried that he couldn't fight in a friendly without killing someone (and those were pretty much his exact words)!! Lol


----------



## TG123

tempted to read all 80 pages again


----------



## lambrettalad

Well i have just read pretty much all this thread and have to say that it was EPIC!!

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes from laughing!!

I am going to struggle to drive my bugatti veyron from laughing so much :whistling:


----------



## mikep81

lambrettalad said:


> Well i have just read pretty much all this thread and have to say that it was EPIC!!
> 
> I am sitting here with tears in my eyes from laughing!!
> 
> I am going to struggle to drive my bugatti veyron from laughing so much :whistling:


Read the gymgym one as well. Just as funny!!


----------



## Alex The Kid

Not read the gym one yet will have a read later

Can this thread not be made into a sticky?? For on days that we are down? Something to cheer us up? LOL

I'm sure 99% agree this should be


----------



## Dan 45

vduboli said:


> Pics or it didnt happen


This...


----------



## Sc4mp0

Which one is the gymgym one? Heard much about it,dont think I've read it yet though,not sure.


----------



## J H

Sc4mp0 said:


> Which one is the gymgym one? Heard much about it,dont think I've read it yet though,not sure.


http://www.uk-muscle.co.uk/general-conversation/178637-thread-year-bouncers-security-guards-gymgym-bullsh-tting-found-out.html

Well worth a read haha


----------



## Sc4mp0

J H said:


> http://www.uk-muscle.co.uk/general-conversation/178637-thread-year-bouncers-security-guards-gymgym-bullsh-tting-found-out.html
> 
> Well worth a read haha


Thank you, 51 fvcking pages,lol. Will read when I have a bit more time


----------



## J H

Sc4mp0 said:


> Thank you, 51 fvcking pages,lol. Will read when I have a bit more time


Haha Its a bit lengthy but well worth a read when you get chance!


----------



## lambrettalad

mikep81 said:


> Read the gymgym one as well. Just as funny!!


Now going to read it.


----------



## pooky

is this the original NOAUDI ?


----------



## alan_wilson

F#ck me what a thread!!!!!


----------



## Guest

pooky said:


> is this the original NOAUDI ?


THE original mate


----------



## pooky

Jd123 said:


> THE original mate


get in. :bounce: on page 9 so far and its getting tense.


----------



## pooky

that was defo worth the read. i think he may of been telling the truth


----------



## Guest

pooky said:


> that was defo worth the read. i think he may of been telling the truth


I might read it again when I have chance


----------



## Mark2021

Sweet mate but prefer my bm


----------



## andy

glad to see this threads still rearing its head in good ol' 2013.



my progress pic btw...............no bs.


----------



## pooky

andy said:


> glad to see this threads still rearing its head in good ol' 2013.
> 
> View attachment 106830
> 
> 
> my progress pic btw...............no bs.


your right pec needs a bit of work


----------



## cuggster

LIAR! THIS MAN, IS A SOPHISTICATED LIAR!


----------



## aesthetics4ever

cuggster said:


> LIAR! THIS MAN, IS A SOPHISTICATED LIAR!


Alright mate calm down!! Think we've already established that...


----------



## cuggster

radicalry00 said:


> Alright mate calm down!! Think we've already established that...


Sorry for being bored in work mate


----------



## huarache

Wow


----------



## Trapps84

Bump lmao


----------



## ducky699

This is still as funny everytime I see it


----------



## MakkaL

ewen said:


> but its an audi ....


Da fuqs wrong with an audi?


----------



## LukeCrossan

Amazing


----------



## MakkaL

Heres a real one


----------



## MRSTRONG

Prodot said:


> Da fuqs wrong with an audi?


Large muscular straight men like yourself drive them .


----------



## MakkaL

ewen said:


> Large muscular straight men like yourself drive them .


What car you got?


----------



## MRSTRONG

Prodot said:


> What car you got?


Range rover sport .


----------



## MakkaL

ewen said:


> Range rover sport .


too slow


----------



## MRSTRONG

Prodot said:


> too slow


Any car is slow dragging my fat ass around .


----------



## MakkaL

ewen said:


> Any car is slow dragging my fat ass around .


I'm just messing ranges are nice :thumbup1:


----------



## jon-kent

Prodot said:


> too slow


"If your important people will wait"


----------



## squatthis

hahaha makes me laugh every time I see this again.


----------



## [email protected]

Prodot said:


> Heres a real one


Is this yours?


----------



## MakkaL

[email protected] said:


> Is this yours?


Dads, he lets me drive it though so its basically the same right?

:no:


----------



## johnnya

only found this thread foooking brilliant...I drive a merc....................................................................................... but its a vito van am i a van snob:laugh:


----------



## [email protected]

Prodot said:


> Dads, he lets me drive it though so its basically the same right?
> 
> :no:


My daughter lets me go on her RipStik, doesn't mean it's mine :lol:


----------



## dannnn

[email protected] said:


> My daughter lets me go on her RipStik, doesn't mean it's mine :lol:


What on earth is a RipStik? Sounds like a painful pen1s injury..


----------



## [email protected]

dannnn said:


> What on earth is a RipStik? Sounds like a painful pen1s injury..


Lol no it's this


----------



## TROYY

my rs5


----------



## Leeds89

[email protected] said:


> My daughter lets me go on her RipStik, doesn't mean it's mine :lol:


I had something TOTALLY different envisaged :lol:


----------



## Gman81

Can't believe this threads re-appreared after 2 years. I got to 31 pages in and couldn't handle any more, funny as fook


----------



## Dazza

Aah so this is the elusive noaudi thread.

Well me uncle has just got himself a brand new Audi A8 S-line the lucky swine.


----------



## Ackee&amp;Saltfish

Dazzza said:


> Aah so this is the elusive noaudi thread.
> 
> Well me uncle has just got himself a brand new Audi A8 S-line the lucky swine.


Is he the owner of this thread?


----------



## Mr_Morocco

picsornounclewithaudis8


----------



## Dazza

Ackee&Saltfish said:


> Is he the owner of this thread?


If only, he was umm let me get his job description..

Openreach, BT Group.

NGA Project Manager.

So anyway car is mint, built like a tank and electric everything, bar the sat nav as he hates how it pops up when driving.



Mr_Morocco said:


> picsornounclewithaudis8


Soon as he comes here again i shall, should be seeing it again in a day or two.


----------



## Dazza

Tell a fib, might be an A8 S-line, anyway it's like this one only it's an estate.

I'll snag a look at his badge, i know nothing about audi's.


----------



## Chris F

I have a citroen Xsara picasso and its a " Shed O Shat"


----------



## Dazza

Okay here is the supposed no audi.

It's an A4 s-line


----------



## Big ape

thread still gets me in tears


----------



## IGotTekkers

Nocarbs said:


> View attachment 66902
> 
> 
> Taken just before I drove off from my dealer


Ahaha haha aah

This post. This thread :lol: :lol:


----------



## Sub-Zero

this thread is a classic..lol


----------



## saxondale

With added disappointment the promised S8 was only an A4 in the end.


----------



## FelonE1

I got recommended to read this thread.It didn't disappoint lmao


----------



## Kristina

Hah! - On page 16, SO much reading to do....but so far this thread is hilarious!


----------



## eezy1

lol wow

this takes me back :laugh:

back to the footy


----------



## Dirk McQuickly

this thread should be made a sticky


----------



## Sigma

Hahaha "nocarbs" I bet he ate a full milky bar for breakfast too, little fibber.


----------



## aestheticsm8

ew @ the rims


----------



## aestheticsm8

hang on, I'm lost.

what happened? I'm guessing the car isn't actually his?


----------



## saxondale

aestheticsm8 said:


> hang on, I'm lost.
> 
> what happened? I'm guessing the car isn't actually his?


Iirc he worked at a showroom and the car was dealer stock he was allowed to drive (nothing at all like @essexboys porche)


----------



## essexboy

saxondale said:


> Iirc he worked at a showroom and the car was dealer stock he was allowed to drive (nothing at all like @essexboys porche)


Exactly my car doesnt actually exist.It was a figment of my imagination.If I concentrate hard enough,I can see it in my drive.I must be totally bonkers.


----------



## rb79

ive only read upto page 8 so far but im beginning to think the location under Nocarbs avi is abit miss leading


----------



## mikep81

This was a classic thread! Another classic was the gymgym one where @Tinytom (I believe) changed the thread title to *Thread of the year - Bouncers and security guards GYMGYM bullsh*tting found out* http://www.uk-muscle.co.uk/general-conversation/178637-thread-year-bouncers-security-guards-gymgym-bullsh-tting-found-out.html


----------



## andyhuggins

The black 1 has just turned up.


----------



## Mweisel

I've always loved that car.

Currently driving an evo 9 myself @598 whp


----------



## EpicSquats

How do you prove a car is yours anyway? Even if people see you driving it, it could be a hire car or a lease car or someone else's that you borrowed.


----------



## DappaDonDave

EpicSquats said:


> How do you prove a car is yours anyway? Even if people see you driving it, it could be a hire car or a lease car or someone else's that you borrowed.


 Pic with spoon


----------



## EpicSquats

DappaDonDave said:


> Pic with spoon


 Just the spoon or the car as well?


----------



## DappaDonDave

EpicSquats said:


> Just the spoon or the car as well?


 Pic of the car holding a spoon whilst the owner holds up a piece of paper with UKM written on it.


----------



## CG88

@dtlv this one is definitely worth a bump :lol:


----------



## dtlv

CG88 said:


> @dtlv this one is definitely worth a bump :lol:


 Haha, I remember this one, an absolute treat. Good call.

Definitely a worthy thread for an honorary CLASSIC RE-BUMP!


----------



## CG88

dtlv said:


> Haha, I remember this one, an absolute treat. Good call.
> 
> Definitely a worthy thread for an honorary CLASSIC RE-BUMP!


 One of the best on here for sure :lol:


----------



## BLUE(UK)

The GymGym one with a link further up the page was a good one.


----------



## dtlv

BLUE(UK) said:


> The GymGym one with a link further up the page was a good one.


 I think that one was perma deleted. I'll be looking for gym-gym stuff. IIRC I actually banned that guy twice, lol.


----------



## Sub-Zero

Man this thread still makes me laugh.. a UKM classic???


----------



## MBR

The classic No Audi thread. Top Ballarki


----------



## G-man99

No Audi


----------



## 90537

G-man99 said:


> No Audi


 What's the jist of the thread mate?

Don't have time to flick through 52 pages lol.

Danny


----------



## G-man99

Shergar said:


> What's the jist of the thread mate?
> 
> Don't have time to flick through 52 pages lol.
> 
> Danny


 Bragged he had got himself an Audi RS5 I think it was, turned out he was full of sh1t and got called out.

One of a few classic ukm threads to go down in folklore


----------



## BLUE(UK)

Shergar said:


> What's the jist of the thread mate?
> 
> Don't have time to flick through 52 pages lol.
> 
> Danny


 NoCarbs turned out to be NoAudi.


----------



## trey1

amazing thread.

sad the lee da lifter fight call out one was deleted. had door smashing and bin laden callouts the lot


----------



## C T

trey1 said:


> amazing thread.
> 
> sad the lee da lifter fight call out one was deleted. had door smashing and bin laden callouts the lot


 Lee da lifter is 100% a complete bottle job mouthpiece

@AnimalLifter


----------



## trey1

C T said:


> Lee da lifter is 100% a complete bottle job mouthpiece
> 
> @AnimalLifter


 He really is mate, hes full of shite.

hes lucky his phone died when i was gonna chin him lol


----------



## AnimalLifter

trey1 said:


> He really is mate, hes full of shite.
> 
> hes lucky his phone died when i was gonna chin him lol


 i duno.. i feel you were lucky one... maybe God knew had to kill my phone.

id like to see you punch anything... That thread was HERO though bro... HERO...

This '' No car' thread is FUNNY!!!! ... haha no way.. he thought he could blag it on here? haha


----------



## JohnnyD

AnimalLifter said:


> i duno.. i feel you were lucky one... maybe God knew had to kill my phone.
> 
> id like to see you punch anything... That thread was HERO though bro... HERO...
> 
> This '' No car' thread is FUNNY!!!! ... haha no way.. he thought he could blag it on here? haha


 Well said....by the king of fridge fighting blaggers! :lol:

I'm surprised you remember all this Lee??


----------



## AnimalLifter

JohnnyD said:


> Well said....by the king of fridge fighting blaggers! :lol:
> 
> I'm surprised you remember all this Lee??


 i dont remember this Thread.. i wasnt here then... but only remember Tiny parts of my thread..i remember punching doors making trey scared.. i remember tiny bit.

i wish i was here when this lad had his car hahaha, id be dying of laughter


----------



## AnimalLifter

trey1 said:


> amazing thread.
> 
> sad the lee da lifter fight call out one was deleted. had door smashing and bin laden callouts the lot


 Bin larden call out XD haha.. he had been dead like 10 years... maybe he seen my video and faked his death


----------



## js77

BLUE(UK) said:


> NoCarbs turned out to be NoAudi.


 What a helmet ... 'his car'... yet it's up for sale the moment he takes delivery of it!!! Yeah ok mate.

I worked in the motor trade years ago for HR Owen, BMW, Merc and Audi and we could spec our company car every 6 months as old nocarbs did and wait for delivery... the car was never ours, it was simply a company vehicle.

If he worked for Audi finance he'd be lucky to earn £35k pa so I think an RS5 would have been a little out of his price range.

Anyway, what sad **** is digging up 10 year old threads??? Dat choo @KETONES???


----------



## trey1

AnimalLifter said:


> i dont remember this Thread.. i wasnt here then... but only remember Tiny parts of my thread..i remember punching doors making trey scared.. i remember tiny bit.
> 
> i wish i was here when this lad had his car hahaha, id be dying of laughter


 scared of a mong in his shitty kegs smashing up his crack den lol


----------



## AnimalLifter

trey1 said:


> scared of a mong in his shitty kegs smashing up his crack den lol


 Crazy to think.. at any point of my time there i could of had a seizure... that thought still haunts me.

it must be the camera angle/quality because i look kinda tiny.

At least its the most honest upload on here


----------



## AnimalLifter

js77 said:


> What a helmet ... 'his car'... yet it's up for sale the moment he takes delivery of it!!! Yeah ok mate.
> 
> I worked in the motor trade years ago for HR Owen, BMW, Merc and Audi and we could spec our company car every 6 months as old nocarbs did and wait for delivery... the car was never ours, it was simply a company vehicle.
> 
> If he worked for Audi finance he'd be lucky to earn £35k pa so I think an RS5 would have been a little out of his price range.
> 
> Anyway, what sad **** is digging up 10 year old threads??? Dat choo @KETONES???


 What happened to the @sjacks thread?

i heard he was hardest lad on here... he would of scared me if i was here


----------



## js77

AnimalLifter said:


> What happened to the @sjacks thread?
> 
> i heard he was hardest lad on here... he would of scared me if i was here


 What's that got to do with buying a new car you crazy little monkey you !!!!!!


----------



## trey1

AnimalLifter said:


> What happened to the @sjacks thread?
> 
> i heard he was hardest lad on here... he would of scared me if i was here


 he would chinned u m8


----------



## Fina

Worthless bump when the pics no longer exist


----------



## KETONES

js77 said:


> What a helmet ... 'his car'... yet it's up for sale the moment he takes delivery of it!!! Yeah ok mate.
> 
> I worked in the motor trade years ago for HR Owen, BMW, Merc and Audi and we could spec our company car every 6 months as old nocarbs did and wait for delivery... the car was never ours, it was simply a company vehicle.
> 
> If he worked for Audi finance he'd be lucky to earn £35k pa so I think an RS5 would have been a little out of his price range.
> 
> Anyway, what sad **** is digging up 10 year old threads??? Dat choo @KETONES???


 Listen old threads are important they brings to light who the likes of Tommy Bananas, Milky, Lee Da Lifter, Acid Reflux, and who they are now on the Forum?!?!?!.....

PS I'll be in Luton on Monday if you fancy a rough and rugged bum off!?


----------



## js77

KETONES said:


> Listen old threads are important they brings to light who the likes of Tommy Bananas, Milky, Lee Da Lifter, Acid Reflux, and who they are now on the Forum?!?!?!.....
> 
> PS I'll be in Luton on Monday if you fancy a rough and rugged bum off!?


 And what exactly will you be doing in Luton on Monday young Ketones!!??

There are FAR more interesting reinvented users on ukm than those monkeys you've listed ... what was your old handle....and running two at the same time doesn't count btw :cool2:


----------



## KETONES

js77 said:


> And what exactly will you be doing in Luton on Monday young Ketones!!??
> 
> There are FAR more interesting reinvented users on ukm than those monkeys you've listed ... what was your old handle....and running two at the same time doesn't count btw :cool2:


 What do you mean TWO?!

I wonder who Tommy Bananas is now though? IFYM......

I'll be in Luton offering free bum sex to random people in the town centre.


----------



## js77

KETONES said:


> What do you mean TWO?!
> 
> I wonder who Tommy Bananas is now though? IFYM......
> 
> I'll be in Luton offering free bum sex to random people in the town centre.


 Make sure you bring hand sanitizer then


----------



## KETONES

js77 said:


> Make sure you bring hand sanitizer then


 Nah I like it dirty!!


----------



## js77

KETONES said:


> Nah I like it dirty!!


 Just as well ... Luton makes Hemel Hempstead look like Belgravia :thumb


----------



## KETONES

js77 said:


> Just as well ... Luton makes Hemel Hempstead look like Belgravia :thumb


 That's exactly why I'm there for the high level of class candidates...


----------



## AnimalLifter

KETONES said:


> Listen old threads are important they brings to light who the likes of Tommy Bananas, Milky, Lee Da Lifter, Acid Reflux, and who they are now on the Forum?!?!?!.....
> 
> PS I'll be in Luton on Monday if you fancy a rough and rugged bum off!?


 Admin deleted the LeeDaLifter Thread... Sad times indeed.

I think i read it once, it was Omega


----------



## AnimalLifter

trey1 said:


> he would chinned u m8


 hahahaha S-Jay-jacks Couldnt chin a chin if he was made of chins

id rag him by his sphinxes... Haunted Sausage would of lost the fight TBF... and i dont know why sjacks wanted to fight in parks i heard he aint allowed 50 miles radius of them


----------



## KETONES

AnimalLifter said:


> hahahaha S-Jay-jacks Couldnt chin a chin if he was made of chins
> 
> id rag him by his sphinxes... Haunted Sausage would of lost the fight TBF... and i dont know why sjacks wanted to fight in parks i heard he aint allowed 50 miles radius of them


 I'd smash you up then cum in your arse :lol:


----------



## AnimalLifter

KETONES said:


> I'd smash you up then cum in your arse :lol:


 wow... thats ew

ill give you a rectum exam... with a lubed up Wheely bin


----------



## KETONES

AnimalLifter said:


> wow... thats ew
> 
> ill give you a rectum exam... with a lubed up Wheely bin


 You're a wheelie bin....with 26" rims


----------



## AnimalLifter

KETONES said:


> You're a wheelie bin....with 26" rims


 your Rim would be 30 inch after i had a go in it.... my 'splat' weighs 2KG and you'd have that dripping out of you for an hour


----------



## KETONES

AnimalLifter said:


> your Rim would be 30 inch after i had a go in it.... my 'splat' weighs 2KG and you'd have that dripping out of you for an hour


 Really? I doubt that.

I would choke you out then skin you with a fish knife and eat your testicles on toast


----------



## AnimalLifter

KETONES said:


> Really? I doubt that.
> 
> *I would choke you out then skin you with a fish knife and eat your testicles on toast*


 So your that lad off Grindr that lives near Amble?

If you think eating my 1Kg balls on toast is something, wait till you seen what i seen lastnight... horrid bro


----------



## KETONES

AnimalLifter said:


> So your that lad off Grindr that lives near Amble?
> 
> If you think eating my 1Kg balls on toast is something, wait till you seen what i seen lastnight... horrid bro


 What did you see???


----------



## AnimalLifter

KETONES said:


> What did you see???


 Unit 731 Documentary... horrible.. worst than eating decomposing rat testicles on toast made of pig-waste


----------



## trey1

AnimalLifter said:


> your Rim would be 30 inch after i had a go in it.... my 'splat' weighs 2KG and you'd have that dripping out of you for an hour


 uncle dave dat u bro


----------



## KETONES

trey1 said:


> scared of a mong in his shitty kegs smashing up his crack den lol


 @melanieuk Your future hubby!


----------



## TURBS

KETONES said:


> @melanieuk Your future hubby!


 Somebody is jealous :whistling:


----------



## melanieuk

KETONES said:


> @melanieuk Your future hubby!


 where did u even go to find that?? what websites do u go on??


----------



## melanieuk

TERBO said:


> Somebody is jealous :whistling:


 im not even teasing him


----------



## KETONES

melanieuk said:


> where did u even go to find that?? what websites do u go on??


 Oh you know UKM.....videos uploaded of members gan rage! :lol:


----------



## KETONES

melanieuk said:


> im not even teasing him


 Oooh tease me tease me!! Yes you are you can't post an avi like that on here that's actually you? :lol:


----------



## BLUE(UK)

melanieuk said:


> where did u even go to find that?? what websites do u go on??


 That is him, yes really.


----------



## melanieuk

KETONES said:


> Oooh tease me tease me!! Yes you are you can't post an avi like that on here that's actually you? :lol:


 yep its me  i work for it!!


----------



## KETONES

melanieuk said:


> yep its me  i work for it!!


 I didn't say it was good? :lol:


----------



## melanieuk

KETONES said:


> I didn't say it was good? :lol:


 u dont need to, i get on stage!


----------



## KETONES

BLUE(UK) said:


> That is him, yes really.


 Yes it is but he's actually really sweet


----------



## KETONES

melanieuk said:


> u dont need to, i get on stage!


 But do you win? :lol:


----------



## melanieuk

KETONES said:


> But do you win? :lol:


 not everytime......


----------



## ThatsLife

Can't believe I've read this whole thread, what has my life come to?!


----------



## scottysafc

GERLD!!

My Syvecs Focus ST would wipe the floor with an RS5.


----------

