# Tools by your bedside



## The Gimp (Jul 6, 2008)

Hi guys

Been thinking of getting a little something to keep close to hand in the event of a break in and i need to protect my family.

Have a small child so needs to be something that is realitively safe,so was thinking of a big mag lite torch.

Is this a good idea? What do you all have?

Cheers!


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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

This will do some damage!!


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

I have a very heavy, 10/12 inch metal bar. You want something heavy enough to kill/maim but short enough to swing on stairs etc. Torch is no good, bar is best.

I have a 5yo girl and 2yo boy, anybody stepping over my doorstep uninvited better come prepared - I see it as a matter of life and death. They could have any weapons on them and I have to protect my kids. Smash them over the head as hard as poss with iron bar, deal with consequences later.


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## Tassotti (Feb 27, 2011)

Torch !?

You planning on blinding them ?


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## Dux (Nov 29, 2011)

Such a festive thread

Merry Christmas to you, too


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## Dai Jones (Dec 1, 2009)

just get two staffy's like me who stopped three lads getting in my house a few months ago


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## jake87 (May 7, 2010)

Two guns and 180 21g needles.


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## achilles88 (Aug 27, 2010)

Beretta in my bedside drawer


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## musclemate (Sep 14, 2012)

Urm&#8230; move somewhere where you feel safer?


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## Nidge (Jan 22, 2007)

The Gimp said:


> Hi guys
> 
> Been thinking of getting a little something to keep close to hand in the event of a break in and i need to protect my family.
> 
> ...


You want a ASP mate, http://www.security-discount.com/products/en/Batons-Tonfa/Expandable-baton-16-inkl-holder.html?XTCsid=i9kum7mk3ai131qiqts8fnbfu0

Pikeys don't like them round the back of the knees.


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## The Gimp (Jul 6, 2008)

Tassotti said:


> Torch !?
> 
> You planning on blinding them ?


Maglite torches are quite heavy I think, so would hit over head a few times!.


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## big steve (May 8, 2011)

Dai Jones said:


> just get two staffy's like me who stopped three lads getting in my house a few months ago


they probably couldnt take the licking no more lol


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Dai Jones said:


> just get two staffy's like me who stopped three lads getting in my house a few months ago


3 lads - this is why you need tools. Scumbags.


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## The Gimp (Jul 6, 2008)

Nidge said:


> You want a ASP mate, http://www.security-discount.com/products/en/Batons-Tonfa/Expandable-baton-16-inkl-holder.html?XTCsid=i9kum7mk3ai131qiqts8fnbfu0
> 
> Pikeys don't like them round the back of the knees.


This is a good idea thanks.


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## Dai Jones (Dec 1, 2009)

big steve said:


> they probably couldnt take the licking no more lol


to be honest all the years I've had them I thought that would be the case, they soon changed my mind I've never heard them go so nut's in my life


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## Guest (Dec 24, 2012)




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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

it`s gonna be another 8 page thread of bullsht then, when you have a gun pointed at you, you will crap yourself and go to pieces just the same as everyone else who isn`t trained for it.

get an alarm and set the bloody thing when you go to bed at least then, when your laid on the stairs bleeding someone will get ****ed off enough to call the council and get someone to come and stop the noise - if your lucky they will find you before you bleed to death

and yes, I did.


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## Dai Jones (Dec 1, 2009)

Huntingground said:


> 3 lads - this is why you need tools. Scumbags.


true


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

Nidge said:


> You want a ASP mate, http://www.security-discount.com/products/en/Batons-Tonfa/Expandable-baton-16-inkl-holder.html?XTCsid=i9kum7mk3ai131qiqts8fnbfu0
> 
> Pikeys don't like them round the back of the knees.


illegal to own


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## rectus (Jan 18, 2012)

Nidge said:


> You want a ASP mate, http://www.security-discount.com/products/en/Batons-Tonfa/Expandable-baton-16-inkl-holder.html?XTCsid=i9kum7mk3ai131qiqts8fnbfu0
> 
> Pikeys don't like them round the back of the knees.


Is it legal to buy these? I thought they were exclusive to the Police and the like.


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## N666T (Sep 4, 2010)

i got 2 cans of cs spray and a 2ft piece of scaffolding pole by my bed but they got to get past 2 staffies first without gettin chewed to death


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## jay101 (Aug 9, 2011)

With a your screen name I don't think anyone will be robbing your house mate !


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

saxondale said:


> it`s gonna be another 8 page thread of bullsht then, when you have a gun pointed at you, you will crap yourself and go to pieces just the same as everyone else who isn`t trained for it.
> 
> get an alarm and set the bloody thing when you go to bed at least then, when your laid on the stairs bleeding someone will get ****ed off enough to call the council and get someone to come and stop the noise - if your lucky they will find you before you bleed to death
> 
> and yes, I did.


Different story when it is a gun but not many burglars go prepped with a shooter surely ??


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## Kloob (Jun 3, 2012)

Cattle prod. Should make sparks fliy.


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## The Gimp (Jul 6, 2008)

saxondale said:


> it`s gonna be another 8 page thread of bullsht then, when you have a gun pointed at you, you will crap yourself and go to pieces just the same as everyone else who isn`t trained for it.


I wouldn't expect an intruder to break in with a gun, especially not where I live.

Would more than likely be a heroin addict or something similar, not a professional as I have very little really of value for them to steal


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## Nidge (Jan 22, 2007)

saxondale said:


> illegal to own


So is a scaffold pole and a plethora of other goods. To be honest I don't give a flying fcuk, if anyone steps over my doorstep who's not supposed to be there they are getting whatever is avaliable over the cannister.


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## Destiny1 (Dec 20, 2012)

If I'm aloud I will put a website up that does world wide deliverys of stun guns knuckle dusters gas ect I've never had any think not get through to me but misses put a stop to my deliverys over a year ago site still up and running permission would have to come from above


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## sunn (Apr 11, 2011)

Is there burglaries in your area or something to make you concerned?

I have a hunting knife by the bed its just a habit from when I moved into my first place at 19...thank fck I haven't had to use it!

Anything will do a heavy torch but something like a hammer would prob be better!

I remember fond memories growing up of my dads pick axe handle behind the frond door! Ha

Merry xmas!


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Nidge said:


> So is a scaffold pole and a plethora of other goods. To be honest I don't give a flying fcuk, if anyone steps over my doorstep who's not supposed to be there they are getting whatever is avaliable over the cannister.


I had a baseball bat in my car boot, police confiscated it as I admitted I wasn't on my way to play baseball.


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## Nidge (Jan 22, 2007)

rectus said:


> Is it legal to buy these? I thought they were exclusive to the Police and the like.


I had one when I lived in my other house due to me having firearms locked in a gun safe at home. If the plod see you out on the street with one they'll have you over and drill you a new @rshole, don't take them out keep them under the bed you'll be OK.


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## rectus (Jan 18, 2012)

Nidge said:


> So is a scaffold pole and a plethora of other goods. To be honest I don't give a flying fcuk, if anyone steps over my doorstep who's not supposed to be there they are getting whatever is avaliable over the cannister.


Right, but if you order a scaffolding pole online it isn't going to interest the local Police.


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## Nidge (Jan 22, 2007)

Huntingground said:


> I had a baseball bat in my car boot, police confiscated it as I admitted I wasn't on my way to play baseball.


You should've had the ball with you, that way they can't take it off you.


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

sunn said:


> Is there burglaries in your area or something to make you concerned?
> 
> I have a hunting knife by the bed its just a habit from when I moved into my first place at 19...thank fck I haven't had to use it!
> 
> ...


Dads want to protect their family and kids. Goes back to cavemen times. Ain't going to change now. Makes me think more about tool/weapons in house etc. I have the iron bar and 2 other "implements" hidden in the house. Missus and kids know what they are for and missus agrees 100% with it.


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## Nidge (Jan 22, 2007)

rectus said:


> Right, but if you order a scaffolding pole online it isn't going to interest the local Police.


Never ordered one mate.


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## eezy1 (Dec 14, 2010)

got a louiville slugger under the bed


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## The Gimp (Jul 6, 2008)

sunn said:


> Is there burglaries in your area or something to make you concerned?


No more or less than any other area to be honest. I live in a ok part of Southend in Essex.

It's just now I have a daughter have started thinking more about being prepared for any eventuality.


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

we were always told to work on the assumption your kids are going to find your tool and use it on their friends - is it still such a good idea now?


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

Syringe filled with M99 then move the unconscious body to the kill room with all your power tools!

And the misses says I watch too much Dexter?? :lol:


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

The Gimp said:



> No more or less than any other area to be honest. I live in a ok part of Southend in Essex.
> 
> It's just now I have a daughter have started thinking more about being prepared for any eventuality.


Congrats on daughter. As I have stated above, Dads must be prepared to protect family and kids at all costs and for every eventuality. You are just being sensible. Get the tools you need. A hammer is a decent starter until you can get the proper tools - B&Q sell them.


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## just-that-ek (Nov 10, 2011)

Couple of hockey sticks


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## Sambuca (Jul 25, 2012)

I got a a sword a crossbow and a machette. Best weapon is my Swiss Army knife for if I catch one of them ill can opener his face


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## dbaird (Sep 2, 2012)

wtf? move house! I would never sleep if I kept thinking sh*t like that was gonna happen


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## The Gimp (Jul 6, 2008)

saxondale said:


> we were always told to work on the assumption your kids are going to find your tool and use it on their friends - is it still such a good idea now?


If you read my original post, that is why I had suggested the torch.


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## Nidge (Jan 22, 2007)

saxondale said:


> we were always told to work on the assumption your kids are going to find your tool and use it on their friends - is it still such a good idea now?


My lad wasn't interested in what I had under the bed, he was more interested in what was in the bedside draw like [email protected] mags and porn videos.

If you've got kids who will take what's protecting them they need help before they reach 14.


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## robbo9 (Mar 24, 2012)

Maglight is the best choice as its not classed as a weapon. I used to do abit of security (non police but worked with them if needed) which included terrorism and since we were not police we could not use weapons but these were allowed


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

The Gimp said:


> If you read my original post, that is why I had suggested the torch.


A great weapon if he's an epileptic burglar mate


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## Justin Cider (Jul 18, 2010)

I've got 2 pool balls taped up in a sock on 1 side, baseball bat on the other which has seen some service.


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## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

The Gimp said:


> This is a good idea thanks.


pretty sure they're illegal in this country

such a weird thread, Op did you really need help in working out what tool to have by your bed? hammer, baseball bat, dumbell bar etc, it's not exactly rocket science


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## VeNuM (Aug 14, 2011)

I have a ketana sword.


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## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

Justin Cider said:


> I've got 2 pool balls taped up in a sock on 1 side, baseball bat on the other which has seen some service.


Kinky


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

My house was searched about a year ago and Police found bar etc, I told them what is was for, they left it. At the end of the day, I will protect my kids, that is my job and I will have whatever it takes to do that. Police understand this imo, they have kids too.

My iron bar is called The Persuader as it will "persuade" the victim to do whatever the fck I want


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## Justin Cider (Jul 18, 2010)

R0BLET said:


> Kinky


Makes a nice crunch when it hits mate, learnt that one from Scum.


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## The Gimp (Jul 6, 2008)

TG123 said:


> pretty sure they're illegal in this country
> 
> such a weird thread, Op did you really need help in working out what tool to have by your bed? hammer, baseball bat, dumbell bar etc, it's not exactly rocket science


I think it's always good to get a second opinion with these things.

By the way, good luck swinging a baseball bat in the hallway of a three bed semi.


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## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

saxondale said:


> it`s gonna be another 8 page thread of bullsht then


stop reading them then and fcuk off

you really do chat sh1t


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## rectus (Jan 18, 2012)

TG123 said:


> pretty sure they're illegal in this country
> 
> such a weird thread, Op did you really need help in working out what tool to have by your bed? hammer, baseball bat, dumbell bar etc, it's not exactly rocket science


Christmas is a lonely time for some people.


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Baseball bat and hockey stick are too long. Need something to swing on stairs etc.


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## MNR (Jun 2, 2011)

A khukuri one of my Gurkha friends gave me in my bed side cabinet.


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## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

The Gimp said:


> good luck swinging a baseball bat in the hallway of a three bed semi.


you swing it from over your head bringing it down on his nut , you're trying to open him up not get a game of rounders going


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## RockyD (Oct 8, 2012)

Justin Cider said:


> *I've got 2 pool balls taped up in a sock on 1 sid*e, baseball bat on the other which has seen some service.


You're not currently residing at one of her majesty's 'hotels' by any chance?


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

Just put Al Qaida stuff all over your living room that will scare the fvckers :whistling:


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## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

Have you thought about a pair of nunchucks?


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## The Gimp (Jul 6, 2008)

Huntingground said:


> Baseball bat and hockey stick are too long. Need something to swing on stairs etc.


Absolutely. Hear about people with a golf club by their bed, wonder how the hell they have enough space to use it effectively.


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## cudsyaj (Jul 5, 2011)

Dai Jones said:


> just get two staffy's like me who stopped three lads getting in my house a few months ago


Are they super protective of your and the family... I know some dogs are crazy protective but gentle too.


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## Mish (May 1, 2011)

I have a 4lb club hammer next to my bed along with another wee toy, it'd rather not say what it is though.


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## TG123 (Apr 10, 2012)

Justin Cider said:


> I've got 2 pool balls taped up in a sock on 1 side, baseball bat on the other which has seen some service.


see this is perfect, if you get bored waiting for the burglers to turn up, get the baseball bat out, whip the balls out of the sock and get a game of mini rounders going with the missus


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## just-that-ek (Nov 10, 2011)

Huntingground said:


> Baseball bat and hockey stick are too long. Need something to swing on stairs etc.


Not if holding it halfway down, plus I'm in a flat anyway so doubt ill ever get any problems


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## Dai Jones (Dec 1, 2009)

cudsyaj said:


> Are they super protective of your and the family... I know some dogs are crazy protective but gentle too.


yes one is protective of me and the other is more over my little boy and mrs and yes so gentle why they get a bad name I don't know


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## RockyD (Oct 8, 2012)

I personally like to sleep with a samurai sword and 3 machetes under my pillow, also try wrapping the family in a thick a layer of newspaper makes excellent body armour.


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## cudsyaj (Jul 5, 2011)

I think if someones is in your house they get whatever is coming to them...


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## MrM (Feb 6, 2012)

I've a big mag light, about a foot and a half long. I could probably hurt someone enough with it to dissuade them, and i won't end up in trouble with the law if I get done for assault by the burgler.

Weapons etc will end up with you being the one prosecuted.

I used to work with a guy who put a hammer through a burghers temple ( the burgler was upstairs and had the door to his daughters room open)

The burgler ended up with permanent learning disabilities (dribbling mess) and the police tried to prosecute for assault with a weapon. He claimed that the hammer had been left on a shelf from hanging a painting and he didn't put it away, the judge accepted and threw the case out.

The police "advice" was in future not to cripple or disable someone, a jury will always accept a sob story from a crippled junky. Better to finish the job properly or just not start it.


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## RascaL18 (Nov 13, 2008)

ive just got a short length of steel, 2inches wide 1/2inch thick and about 12inches long, will give a crack, can be thrown, not illegal, manouvreable, in my car ive got a baseball bat/crooklook type thingy.

its human nature to protect your belongings. to guy whos saying get a alarm or die on your stairs, do you think a burgler will open your door hear beep beep beep and think oh **** run? nahhh, hes going to think **** ive got about 5 mins before any one notices, in and out let no one get in your way. then they will pull out any stops nessicery to get the job done.

you hear a alarm on your street you think ' **** sakes annoying bastard!!!!' then wait and wait and wait to see if it goes off, then you get up and look. when i was about 14-15 i had a attic bedroom with a velux window, my neighbours car was getting broken into, i heard the guy messing about because my window was open, i had a pint glass at side of my window and i launched it down and it missed him but smashed their window, alarm went off and he run off. i phoned the police and i waited 15mins whilst the alarm was going off for the neighbour to notice, NO ONE even looked. i had to go round and bray on the door to wake them up and tell them, 1 hour 20mins after, the police turned up abadonned car and run down like they was going to catch some one mid robbery........ alarms are a deterrent, not protection. PS i never admitted i smashed the window, i said he did it and that what woke me up!! ha ha


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

MrM said:


> I've a big mag light, about a foot and a half long. I could probably hurt someone enough with it to dissuade them, and i won't end up in trouble with the law if I get done for assault by the burgler.
> 
> Weapons etc will end up with you being the one prosecuted.
> 
> ...


No hard feelings for the burglar here, got what he deserved, if someone was entering my daughters door and I found him, he would be lucky to be alive, who knows, could have been going in to rape her.


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## ditz (Jun 5, 2012)

I have this on my bedside table



And this just incase that fails


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## K1NGCA1N (Aug 24, 2012)

cudsyaj said:


> I think if someones is in your house they get whatever is coming to them...


Agreed I have 3 young daughters and would not hesitate to use "lethal force" on anybody who puts my family under threat. My tool of choice is a 22" Kukri machete, if i dont scare them away with my 20 stone naked ninja impersonation, pretty sure when they see the machete they will scarper pretty quickly. Failing that I could chop off one of their arms to hand to the police for finger print purposes, lol


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## Ash1981 (Jun 16, 2009)

MrM said:


> I've a big mag light, about a foot and a half long. I could probably hurt someone enough with it to dissuade them, and i won't end up in trouble with the law if I get done for assault by the burgler.
> 
> Weapons etc will end up with you being the one prosecuted.
> 
> ...


Same, wouldn't just be one temple that my hammer would be hanging out of


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## lxm (Jul 26, 2011)

rectus said:


> Is it legal to buy these? I thought they were exclusive to the Police and the like.





Nidge said:


> I had one when I lived in my other house due to me having firearms locked in a gun safe at home. If the plod see you out on the street with one they'll have you over and drill you a new @rshole, don't take them out keep them under the bed you'll be OK.


Extendable batons are classed as offensive weapons under the relevant act...

If you have bought one before the ban then you can keep it within your property***

If you were to have it in public under any circumstance you would be commiting an offence.

If you were to have it kept within your property legally*** but under certain circumstances you were to use it unlawfully then you would be commiting an offence...

If you were to buy or order one now from these non-uk sites it would be an offense of importing an offensive weapon

If you were to have one kept in your property legally*** but found yourself in a situation of self defence and used it proportionately, it would most likely be taken from you indefinetly regardless...

(my interpretation and understanding of current law)


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## The Gimp (Jul 6, 2008)

Thanks for the replies guys.

Now, on a slightly more humerous home invasion.......


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

MrM said:


> I've a big mag light, about a foot and a half long. I could probably hurt someone enough with it to dissuade them, and i won't end up in trouble with the law if I get done for assault by the burgler.
> 
> Weapons etc will end up with you being the one prosecuted.
> 
> ...


Some guy in daughters room, most offensive thing in the world (she is 5), certain death imo.


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## PaulB (Jun 6, 2010)

I did have some Olympic dumbbell bars under the bed. Some weight in them fvckers if you got cracked over the head with one. I'll have to get something else now. Might invest in a crow bar..


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## Dirk McQuickly (Dec 29, 2010)

my wife


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## RascaL18 (Nov 13, 2008)

ditz said:


> I have this on my bedside table
> 
> View attachment 105146
> 
> ...


reps for being so brave what if the police found them though?


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## banjodeano (Jan 9, 2011)

Huntingground said:


> I have a very heavy, 10/12 inch metal bar. You want something heavy enough to kill/maim but short enough to swing on stairs etc. Torch is no good, bar is best.
> 
> I have a 5yo girl and 2yo boy, anybody stepping over my doorstep uninvited better come prepared - I see it as a matter of life and death. They could have any weapons on them and I have to protect my kids. Smash them over the head as hard as poss with iron bar, deal with consequences later.


This...but i would have a strap on it to put your wrist in, you dont want to drop it in the melee, swing it round like fcuk knowing your not gonna loose it....


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## Dangerous20 (May 20, 2012)

I have a duster, but to be honest I might have to change it for a hammer or something. Not worth the hassle if I get caught with it or my house got searched, huntingground do you mind me asking why ure house got searched? If I remember rightly don't you train at golds camberley? I'm only in farnborough and the area in general isn't too bad, only Bracknell that sh!t starts getting bad! Lol

Btw my daughter is now 7 months


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## Pictor (Jan 10, 2011)

I've got a small samurai sword on top of my wardrobe


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Dangerous20 said:


> I have a duster, but to be honest I might have to change it for a hammer or something. Not worth the hassle if I get caught with it or my house got searched, huntingground do you mind me asking why ure house got searched? If I remember rightly don't you train at golds camberley? I'm only in farnborough and the area in general isn't too bad, only Bracknell that sh!t starts getting bad! Lol
> 
> Btw my daughter is now 7 months


Hello mate,

I do train at Golds as I work in Camberley but live in Welwyn Garden City. I was found with some gear (coke), personal use only, so they searched, found nothing, even though I had my gear stash (see other posts).

BTW, duster is no good, get a real weapon, you have a baby daughter FFS!!!


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## lxm (Jul 26, 2011)

I love these threads. You have plently of house hold items that can be intended or adapted to be used as offensive weapons that you can use in a case of self defence... thats is all you need...

Start looking at acual weapons and that is where you could land up in trouble... why buy something which isnt allowed when there are plenty of house hold objects which wont get you into trouble unless you use them disproportionately to the threat.... or have them 'to hand' in a place of access intended to be used to cause harm

keep that in mind that a judge is more likely to side with you in cases of self defence if you genuinely use a house hold object rather than an object designed to cause damage and is illegal!

its simples


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## biglbs (Jan 26, 2012)

400lb of fight hardened HATE and i will fookin attack!

I too like @Huntingground have a wife and 4 year old daughter hear,i promise no cvnt would walk out who broke in,from my first to my last move i will want then dead.


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## SteffH (Dec 2, 2012)

A portable tv beside your bed it worked for a fella I new however turned out to be his drunk brother


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

lxm said:


> I love these threads. You have plently of house hold items that can be intended or adapted to be used as offensive weapons that you can use in a case of self defence... thats is all you need...
> 
> Start looking at acual weapons and that is where you could land up in trouble... why buy something which isnt allowed when there are plenty of house hold objects which wont get you into trouble unless you use them disproportionately to the threat.... or have them 'to hand' in a place of access intended to be used to cause harm
> 
> ...


Lewis, I love your posts too 

You don't have kids (actually, you don't have sex) and therefore you will not understand the overwhelming love and protectiveness that one feels. Taking thr hit for an offensive weapon or protecting m,y kids = no brainer.


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## PLauGE (Oct 17, 2010)

got a 8 ball with a bit of chain attached side of my bed


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

biglbs said:


> 400lb of fight hardened HATE and i will fookin attack!
> 
> I too like @Huntingground have a wife and 4 year old daughter hear,i promise no cvnt would walk out who broke in,from my first to my last move i will want then dead.


Imagine finding some smackhead in your daughters room. The anger and need to attack would overwhelm me. The last thing I would think about is the legality of what I am doing.

@biglbs, I don't have to ask what your reaction would be if you found some fcker in your 4yo daughters room. Don't think he would be walking out of there.


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## biglbs (Jan 26, 2012)

Huntingground said:


> Imagine finding some smackhead in your daughters room. The anger and need to attack would overwhelm me. The last thing I would think about is the legality of what I am doing.
> 
> @biglbs, I don't have to ask what your reaction would be if you found some fcker in your 4yo daughters room. Don't think he would be walking out of there.


HATE......666!


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## geeby112 (Mar 15, 2008)

A perfect shaped table leg the curls around the hand where you grip it. Have one in car also. Police asked what it was, told him it's for protection and he didn't say much.

As mentioned if your house gets broken into the police can't blame you for your actions. I'd love to see how they'd react if they were in the same situation.


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## Mr_Morocco (May 28, 2011)

ive got quite a few things hidden around the house in various places, i couldnt name what on a forum though :whistling:

No cnut would be leaving alive if they broke in though thats for sure.


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

Mr_Morocco said:


> ive got quite a few things hidden around the house in various places, i couldnt name what on a forum though :whistling:
> 
> No cnut would be leaving alive if they broke in though thats for sure.


Any kids mate?


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

geeby112 said:


> A perfect shaped table leg the curls around the hand where you grip it. Have one in car also. Police asked what it was, told him it's for protection and he didn't say much.
> 
> As mentioned if your house gets broken into the police can't blame you for your actions. I'd love to see how they'd react if they were in the same situation.


Any kids in house?


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## Mr_Morocco (May 28, 2011)

Huntingground said:


> Any kids mate?


Nah mate but still..alot of burglarys going on atm where victims have been stabbed and beaten etc for their car keys


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## Ackee&amp;Saltfish (Mar 18, 2011)

Im glad i aint the only one tooled up..i was starting to think i was paranoid


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## mygym-mytemple (Jun 8, 2012)

Mr_Morocco said:


> ive got quite a few things hidden around the house in various places, i couldnt name what on a forum though :whistling:
> 
> No cnut would be leaving alive if they broke in though thats for sure.


Just about to write this!


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## Guest (Dec 24, 2012)

Well I was completely surprised by my dog, she's as placcid as they come, one big softy, loves kids, lets them jump on her, pull her tail all kinds of stuff, she never attacks UNTIL someone came into the garden one night, and jesus christ it was like an american werewolf in Wales. If there hadn't been a door between them, i'd have feared for whoever it was. I don't even know if it was a burglar or just someone ****ed in the wrong place or what, but she went ballistic. When I got downstairs to see what the fk was going on, the anger n hate in her eyes was unreal, it was like "This is my property , you aren't allowed, all family are accounted for, you must die" lol

I never knew sheepdogs were so territorial. And the noise ! Must have woken up the estate.

But just in case they got past her, i've a rather large lump hammer called "Manners" stashed by my bed, and a very large and extremely sharp double edged (1 side serrated) knife hidden away where only I know where it is. There are other knives knocking about, fishing ones mainly, letter opener is a lock knife.

But for those of you with kids, I 100% agree with any means necessary to protect them. I'd kill anyone in my house if I had kids in there. End of discussion m'laud.


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## GH16 (Dec 23, 2012)

Agree with Huntingground 100%

Have a 6 year old daughter and another daughter due early next year, would use any means available to protect them


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## blenki (Aug 15, 2011)

Silver slugger baseball bat and maybe one or two other things!.


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## leeds_01 (Aug 6, 2008)

glock under the pillow - jokes

tho i do have a baseball bat within arms reach of my side of the bed, stood in the corner


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## hometrainer (Apr 9, 2003)

the missus would put he fear of god into them.last time anyone broke in it was the police as all the club alarms were going off and i was dead to the world in bed


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## Guest (Dec 24, 2012)

Mind you, what you gotta bare in mind is most of us are over 200lbs. Most burglars are 100lbs wet, as they are skanky chavs or smackheads. When they see a big mofo standing there with a ball bat, they gonna brick it n run, or if they know the area, they ain't gonna go in a house where there is a chance they'll run into someone big. It's rare to get a chancer , most of them case the place for a while first.

This is why I feel so bad for the elderly, they are the targets, or single women. Smackheads deserve nothing but pain for what they do to these people.


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## 1010AD (May 30, 2009)

the thing is is if something like that should happen and god forbid it does, you come at them with a weapon and could have a reserve affect and cause more trouble than its worth I would say cs/pepper spray is your best bet coz it doesn't look to much like you mean trouble. I would do anything to keep my family safe but with out trying to make the matter worse


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

1010AD said:


> the thing is is if something like that should happen and god forbid it does, you come at them with a weapon and could have a reserve affect and cause more trouble than its worth I would say cs/pepper spray is your best bet coz it doesn't look to much like you mean trouble. I would do anything to keep my family safe but with out trying to make the matter worse


They are in my house, they should worry about what I am going to do to them, I would certainly not be worried about them or making the situation any worse. They are in my house and I have two babies upstairs asleep. I will use the most lethal, brutal force possible. They are the intruders and should be fcked at all costs imo.


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## TryingToGetBig (May 20, 2010)

One of these AS-50s would be good, turn them into pink mist as they came up the stairs!

http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/armory/images/851873/title/50-photo


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## Guest (Dec 24, 2012)

I'm not sure what the law is on this now, they've muddied the water so many times, at first it was OK to assault/kill someone, now it's reasonable force, I mean wtf , they scared to say you can kill an intruder.

ALWAYS protecting the perp, ffs.


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

OldManRiver said:


> I'm not sure what the law is on this now, they've muddied the water so many times, at first it was OK to assault/kill someone, now it's reasonable force, I mean wtf , they scared to say you can kill an intruder.
> 
> ALWAYS protecting the perp, ffs.


OMR, the legality of what I am doing would be the last thing on my mind when I hear people crawling about downstairs and entering my girls bedroom. Absolute speed, brutality would be required.

The law is now favouring the homeowner too.


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## Lukeg (Mar 6, 2011)

I have 4 shotguns....


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## Guest (Dec 24, 2012)

Huntingground said:


> OMR, the legality of what I am doing would be the last thing on my mind when I hear people crawling about downstairs and entering my girls bedroom. Absolute speed, brutality would be required.
> 
> The law is now favouring the homeowner too.


I am with you on that, I wouldn't be thinking "Now I wonder if i'll get away with this" i'd be caving their skulls in with Manners.

But in terms of what the government have said and what the actual law is, well it's still a bit shady, no definite answer was given, but I think the last time something happened, the homeowner was let off scott free after killing (Or seriously hurting) a burglar.


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## TryingToGetBig (May 20, 2010)

Huntingground said:


> They are in my house, they should worry about what I am going to do to them, I would certainly not be worried about them or making the situation any worse. They are in my house and I have two babies upstairs asleep. I will use the most lethal, brutal force possible. They are the intruders and should be fcked at all costs imo.


I know of a guy (can't remember name now) who told me when facing an intruder or attacker is all about your mind set at the time, you have to become the nastiest person alive for those few minutes. His example he gave me was, when he was in a lift, these two nasty looking guys got in with him. He said instead of thinking sh1t I'm stuck in here with these two, he thought poor guys there stuck in here with me lol

I guess if someone was in your house uninvited, the natural cave man protector mind set would take over and it would be a very bad day for the intruder!


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-19879314

Householders who react with force when confronted by burglars are to get more legal protection, Justice Secretary Chris Grayling has said.

"Grossly disproportionate" force will still be against the law in England and Wales, but the bar will be higher than the current "proportionate" force test.

Mr Grayling's pledge on tackling burglars follows two particularly high-profile cases, which have divided public opinion over whether the law needs to change.

In 1999, Norfolk farmer Tony Martin shot dead an intruder in his home. He was jailed for life for murder but appealed and had the verdict reduced to manslaughter, serving three years in jail.

In 2008, Buckinghamshire businessman Munir Hussain was jailed for 30 months after chasing and attacking with a cricket bat one of three intruders who had tied up his family. The intruder, Walid Saleem, received a lesser sentence than Hussain, who was convicted of grievous bodily harm. This was later reduced on appeal.

'Gratuitous'

But between 1990 and 2005 there were just 11 prosecutions for people tackling intruders in any premises, including seven involving homes.

In England and Wales, anyone can use "reasonable" force to protect themselves or others, or to carry out an arrest or to prevent crime. Householders are protected from prosecution as long as they act "honestly and instinctively" in the heat of the moment.

In England and Wales, anyone can use "reasonable" force to protect themselves or others

Householders can claim they attacked in self-defence if they genuinely believed they were in peril - even if in hindsight they were clearly wrong

Juries must distinguish between "reasonable force" and grievous harm

Q&A: Self defence and burglars

It is still lawful to act in reasonable self-defence, even if the intruder dies as a result. However, prosecution could result from "very excessive and gratuitous force", such as attacking someone who is unconscious.

Mr Grayling wanted to change the law on tackling intruders as soon as possible, he told the Conservative conference, saying it would be included in a crime bill passing through Parliament this autumn.

It will mean someone who is confronted by a burglar and has reason to fear for their safety, or the safety of their family, and in the heat of the moment uses force that is reasonable in the circumstances but in the cold light of day seems disproportionate, they will not be guilty of an offence.


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

If anyone is in my house, then reasonable force is to smash them in the head with my bar. They could have weapons or anything on them.


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## ianjay (Jul 21, 2012)

my mrs, 16 stone of solid lard. wake her up and your fcked:death:


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## Guest (Dec 24, 2012)

THey'll need a bin bag to pick them up if I had kids in the house.


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

*It will mean someone who is confronted by a burglar and has reason to fear for their safety, or the safety of their family, and in the heat of the moment uses force that is reasonable in the circumstances but in the cold light of day seems disproportionate, they will not be guilty of an offence.*

This is the most important line. If someone is in your house, then you can claim, reasonablly, that you fear for the safety of your family and, by smashing them with my iron bar, I removed that threat.


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

The Gimp said:


> If you read my original post, that is why I had suggested the torch.


I have one and give to all my engineers a 4D cell maglite and belt holster.


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## K-Rod (Sep 10, 2012)

I've got 2 guns. 18" if I've just been training them. Bang bang!


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

RascaL18 said:


> ive just got a short length of steel, 2inches wide 1/2inch thick and about 12inches long, will give a crack, can be thrown, not illegal, manouvreable, in my car ive got a baseball bat/crooklook type thingy.
> 
> its human nature to protect your belongings. to guy whos saying get a alarm or die on your stairs, do you think a burgler will open your door hear beep beep beep and think oh **** run? nahhh, hes going to think **** ive got about 5 mins before any one notices, in and out let no one get in your way. then they will pull out any stops nessicery to get the job done.
> 
> you hear a alarm on your street you think ' **** sakes annoying bastard!!!!' then wait and wait and wait to see if it goes off, then you get up and look. when i was about 14-15 i had a attic bedroom with a velux window, my neighbours car was getting broken into, i heard the guy messing about because my window was open, i had a pint glass at side of my window and i launched it down and it missed him but smashed their window, alarm went off and he run off. i phoned the police and i waited 15mins whilst the alarm was going off for the neighbour to notice, NO ONE even looked. i had to go round and bray on the door to wake them up and tell them, 1 hour 20mins after, the police turned up abadonned car and run down like they was going to catch some one mid robbery........ alarms are a deterrent, not protection. PS i never admitted i smashed the window, i said he did it and that what woke me up!! ha ha


I was taking the pss mate - I know exactly what response an alarm will get, normally, like in your example the perp will run


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## Mez (Jul 31, 2012)

When someone tried to break in hours last year all he got was sight of me naked and squinting in the light !

And buy the time I found the keypad on my iPhone he was at the top of the road with my mrs shouting out the window at him.


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## Suprakill4 (Jul 11, 2008)

Metal rounders bat.


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## Dux (Nov 29, 2011)

TG123 said:


> pretty sure they're illegal in this country
> 
> such a weird thread, Op did you really need help in working out what tool to have by your bed? hammer, baseball bat, dumbell bar etc, it's not exactly rocket science


When these boards have seen threads like "what kind of underpants should I wear" then this is perfectly acceptable.

Hardly anyone can think for themselves anymore.

I await the day there's a "having trouble breathing" thread with the OP being "should it be in then out, or out then in?" :lol:


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

The reason I feel so strongly about this is that, when a nipper, our house got broken in to, Dad had been on p1ss, Mum woke up, screaming, could hear burglar downstairs trying to escape, three young boys terrified (me and younger brothers), Dad out cold, comatose, fcker.............


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## jon-kent (May 20, 2011)

I got my asp online a few years ago, cant remember where it is though lol.

My side of the bed has a samurai sword and nun chucks and the mrs side has a metal bar with a sharp tip. Also had a gas powered bb gun that fired metal bb's (wouldnt kill you but you wouldnt want it unloaded into your face lol)

Burglers are fcuking scum and wouldnt hesitate to put something over your head or your mrs head or put a bit of meat full of poison through the letter box 1st to sort your dog out ! So as far as im concerned if they come in its cobra kai time lol


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## justin case (Jul 31, 2012)

i got a large hunting knife besides my bed, but i would hate to use it, it would haunt me for the rest of my life if i killed a young bloke no matter how scummy he was.

i would shout first and hope they ran off, then i would slash the person in the hope he scarpered.....all a load of old crap i know, just dont know how you would react in the middle of the night after suddenly being woke up to find a stranger in your house, i just hope it never happens


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## robc1985 (Jan 28, 2010)

I have a huge metal piece that is spare from a faulty weight bench. Very heavy so a two handed swinging job.

Way I see it is if you're in my house I'm gonna defend myself and my family in any way possible.


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## zack amin (Mar 13, 2012)

Co2 pistols, crossbows,machette, couple throwing knives for a laugh, want some knuckle dusters tho, lent my set to a friend few years back he went and sod em the ****.


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## C.Hill (Nov 21, 2010)

I've got a telescopic police cosh  she's a fcuking beauty, luckily haven't had to use her yet as I don't wanna scratch or dent it lmao


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## Scooter (May 18, 2011)

i have a glasgow rangers bat i bought in benidorm a few years back.


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## Guest (Dec 24, 2012)

Get a dog mate, if it grows up around the kids it will be fine with them. But make sure it's nasty looking like one of these


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## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

get a crocodile


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## jon-kent (May 20, 2011)

Jd123 said:


> Get a dog mate, if it grows up around the kids it will be fine with them. But make sure it's nasty looking like one of these
> View attachment 105148


Ive got a big scary looking dog but love him and class him as my kid lol so i wouldnt dream of sending him into battle before me ! If i go down then he protects the mrs lol


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## engllishboy (Nov 1, 2007)

Jd123 said:


> Get a dog mate, if it grows up around the kids it will be fine with them. But make sure it's nasty looking like one of these
> View attachment 105148


Dog? Looks like a fvcking bear.


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## engllishboy (Nov 1, 2007)

Suprakill4 said:


> Metal rounders bat.


X2


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## Guest (Dec 24, 2012)

engllishboy said:


> Dog? Looks like a fvcking bear.


Yeah nasty looking isn't it. Called a cane corso, it's feet are bigger than most dogs heads


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## engllishboy (Nov 1, 2007)

Huntingground said:


> *It will mean someone who is confronted by a burglar and has reason to fear for their safety, or the safety of their family, and in the heat of the moment uses force that is reasonable in the circumstances but in the cold light of day seems disproportionate, they will not be guilty of an offence.*
> 
> This is the most important line. If someone is in your house, then you can claim, reasonablly, that you fear for the safety of your family and, by smashing them with my iron bar, I removed that threat.


It's more the, constant hitting them whilst they're out cold that will go against you. Or running after them and cracking them round the head then. That's when you're fvcked wit regards to the law.


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## welshman (May 22, 2008)

N666T said:


> i got 2 cans of cs spray and a 2ft piece of scaffolding pole by my bed but they got to get past 2 staffies first without gettin chewed to death


Isn't CS still considered a firearm in the UK?


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## Milky (Nov 30, 2008)

Not read the whole thread but l have a Black and Decker drill and a set of stanley screw drivers for the odd repair l do in my dreams.


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## johnnymomo (Jan 15, 2012)

Tassotti said:


> Torch !?
> 
> You planning on blinding them ?


Make it a blow torch and your laffin


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## johnnymomo (Jan 15, 2012)

saxondale said:


> it`s gonna be another 8 page thread of bullsht then, when you have a gun pointed at you, you will crap yourself and go to pieces just the same as everyone else who isn`t trained for it.
> 
> get an alarm and set the bloody thing when you go to bed at least then, when your laid on the stairs bleeding someone will get ****ed off enough to call the council and get someone to come and stop the noise - if your lucky they will find you before you bleed to death
> 
> ...


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## Malibu (May 13, 2010)

This


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## LutherLee (Apr 30, 2010)

2 fists n a forehead. Do you really need more?


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## guvnor82 (Oct 23, 2011)

Iv got fuct up dvd player and some dirty washing under my bed and that's the lot never much thought about tooling the room up. Twice iv thought some had broken in the house when I heard a bag (turned out be toilet seat fell down) both time iv flown down the stairs in my boxers ready to rip someone apart but luckily never had too.


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## DazUKM (Nov 22, 2012)

i keep baseball bat in my car & room


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## DazUKM (Nov 22, 2012)

Malibu said:


> View attachment 105158
> 
> 
> This


ye i got a few knifes too but wouldnt use them cos easily turn against ya, baseball bat brother


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## HJL (Apr 26, 2009)

one of these down the end off the front passage.

im speechless everytime i watch that video. brutal.


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## Malibu (May 13, 2010)

D9S4 said:


> ye i got a few knifes too but wouldnt use them cos easily turn against ya, baseball bat brother


Not with this one, it makes wounds that wont heal since its twisted, its even banned from being used in war thats how effective it is


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## LutherLee (Apr 30, 2010)

Rolled up razzle magazine? Complete with sticky pages!


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## HJL (Apr 26, 2009)

one of these down the end off the front passage.

im speechless everytime i watch that video. brutal.


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## Little stu (Oct 26, 2011)

Pick axe handle if any 1 came to my house I would think twice ad bash the ****s an English mans home is his castle


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## Little stu (Oct 26, 2011)

HJL said:


> one of these down the end off the front passage.
> 
> Ive got to get one of these carol singers got my head in bits
> 
> im speechless everytime i watch that video. brutal.


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## biglbs (Jan 26, 2012)

Been reconsidering this,i think i would take them prisoner,and make them suffer real slow,with pliers and a blow torch,i keep lime and a shovel in my boot for such occasions,so that would conclude my little nature walk...


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## chris27 (Apr 19, 2009)

biglbs said:


> Been reconsidering this,i think i would take them prisoner,and make them suffer real slow,with pliers and a blow torch,i keep lime and a shovel in my boot for such occasions,so that would conclude my little nature walk...


now we know what you get upto in the forest mg:


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## biglbs (Jan 26, 2012)

chris27 said:


> now we know what you get upto in the forest mg:


Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


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## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

My original gameboy.

Could fvck up a bear if thrown accurately


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## lukeee (Aug 17, 2009)

My mrs


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## Nemises (Jun 29, 2008)

Just make sure its not Santa :s


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## bossdog (Aug 25, 2011)

Small fire extinguisher totally legal make sure it's a powder one blind them then smash em with the canister


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## majormuscle (Oct 24, 2009)

I have a full size replica spartan sword heavy as f??k one blow would chop the hulks head off should they get past the 10-11 stone mastiff , unless its channing Tatum trying to break in then apparently the misses says iv gotta let him in and go and wash the car for an hour or two lol


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## HodgesoN (Sep 9, 2012)

my girlfriend.


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## sockie (Jul 1, 2012)

rectus said:


> Is it legal to buy these? I thought they were exclusive to the Police and the like.


no they ship within 5 days


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## WannaGetHench (Aug 22, 2010)

Malibu said:


> Not with this one, it makes wounds that wont heal since its twisted, its even banned from being used in war thats how effective it is


so if you got stabbed with that ud never heal?


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## Andrewgenic (Jul 5, 2010)

I think it would be foolish to disclose on a public forum what weapons I have by the bedside to use against an intruder. If a clever lawyer were to get hold of the info it could easily work against you.


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## mygym-mytemple (Jun 8, 2012)

Andrewgenic said:


> I think it would be foolish to disclose on a public forum what weapons I have by the bedside to use against an intruder. If a clever lawyer were to get hold of the info it could easily work against you.


I got kids in the house couldn't care less what courts say family will always come first.


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## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

Always assumed I'd be reaching for a knife in this kind of situation

Not quite sure where the first blow would be aimed, though

If there is more than one then I reckon it's throat/eyeball slicing time


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## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

Malibu said:


> View attachment 105158
> 
> 
> This


That is a scary looking knife

F*ck that


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## Andrewgenic (Jul 5, 2010)

mygym said:


> I got kids in the house couldn't care less what courts say family will always come first.


So have I but shouting from the rooftops what weaponary I have or what I would do in the event of a break in won't make any difference. I know what I would do.


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## MNR (Jun 2, 2011)

Or a tool as your bedside table?


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## Malibu (May 13, 2010)

WannaGetHench said:


> so if you got stabbed with that ud never heal?


basically


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## m14rky (Aug 11, 2008)

my mate got burgled last week and hes gone out and bought an axe to keep under his bed what a nutter obviously not thought it through u use that and your going down for a long time


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

As I guessed, there's some proper hard men on here.....


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## chandelierman (Jan 12, 2011)

saxondale said:


> illegal to own


I've got one.........it does exactly what it says on the tin ;0)


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## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Smitch said:


> As I guessed, there's some proper hard men on here.....


Liam Neeson in Taken hasnt got shit on some of the rambo ****ers who post on here mate, did you not know?


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## m14rky (Aug 11, 2008)

my alarm is so loud and goes straight to the old bill soon as they would break in it would boom out they would be stupid to even come up the stairs


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## Ash1981 (Jun 16, 2009)

The law can suck my d1ck

Any cvnt comes into my house and there quite clearly gonna get fcked up and quickly


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## Ash1981 (Jun 16, 2009)

Liam Neeson in Taken lol


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## Ash1981 (Jun 16, 2009)

Malibu said:


> View attachment 105158
> 
> 
> This


That's pretty much game over then

Not a lot coming back from that


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## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

Smitch said:


> As I guessed, there's some proper hard men on here.....


Lol never expected so many people to be able to stab someone etc without a second thought! Blood thirsty mofo's


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## BoxerJay (Jan 11, 2011)

m14rky said:


> my alarm is so loud and goes straight to the old bill soon as they would break in it would boom out they would be stupid to even come up the stairs


They probably wouldn't turn up for 40 minutes to an hour though. Least not in my city lol


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## mygym-mytemple (Jun 8, 2012)

Andrewgenic said:


> So have I but shouting from the rooftops what weaponary I have or what I would do in the event of a break in won't make any difference. I know what I would do.


So why enter the discussion ?


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## KRIS_B (Apr 17, 2011)

I've got a pair of brass knuckles next to my bed so when they decide to come upstairs or even if they don't they're gunna get knocked the fcuk out and when they're flat out on the floor I'll then go into their pockets and hopefully find a wallet or phone and see where they live and then brick their windows a few months down the line


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## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

mygym said:


> So why enter the discussion ?


to smell the testosterone


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## KRIS_B (Apr 17, 2011)

I haven't thought much about the situation though :whistling:


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Ashcrapper said:


> Liam Neeson in Taken hasnt got shit on some of the rambo ****ers who post on here mate, did you not know?





Shady45 said:


> Lol never expected so many people to be able to stab someone etc without a second thought! Blood thirsty mofo's


We're in the presence of some stone cold killers it would seem!


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## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

BoxerJay said:


> They probably wouldn't turn up for 40 minutes to an hour though. Least not in my city lol


40 mins to an hour? Your city must be so small and empty


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## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

Smitch said:


> We're in the presence of some stone cold killers it would seem!


Reminds me of this time some pussy was staring at me, boy did he regret it. I punched it so hard it fell off the wall and... Well let's just say it meows no longer


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## BoxerJay (Jan 11, 2011)

WilsonR6 said:


> 40 mins to an hour? Your city must be so small and empty


lol - That's on a good day, but you know what I mean, they're next to useless. They should have response times imposed on them.


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## RockyD (Oct 8, 2012)

If someone tries to break in my house don't really need any 'tools' , I will either just render them unconscious with a one inch pinch or squeeze their pressure points till they expire.

I also have a sign on the front door that reads "bad man inside" that's usually enough to repel them TBH.


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## Simon01 (Feb 23, 2009)

Ive got a 2d maglite. If that fails i will use the shotgun!


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## lxm (Jul 26, 2011)

Usual household items.... .

and .204 ruger & 410 in the locker

(note: i have an FAC and shotgun cert)


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## mygym-mytemple (Jun 8, 2012)

Happy Christmas to household defenders!


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## Simon01 (Feb 23, 2009)

Thinking of buying this. Looks like it will do the job. http://www.security-discount.com/products/en/Stun-guns/Paradef-Paralyser-150000-volt-incl-batteries.html


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## ditz (Jun 5, 2012)

Simon01 said:


> Thinking of buying this. Looks like it will do the job. http://www.security-discount.com/products/en/Stun-guns/Paradef-Paralyser-150000-volt-incl-batteries.html


Just how much exactly will one of those bad boys fcuk your day up?

I mean it says it's non lethal, and obviously we are all the creme de la creme of double hard bastards on here.. I'd imagine it would be little more than an nuisance ?


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## NoGutsNoGlory (Jun 11, 2009)

Simon01 said:


> Thinking of buying this. Looks like it will do the job. http://www.security-discount.com/products/en/Stun-guns/Paradef-Paralyser-150000-volt-incl-batteries.html


Yep, will do the job if you like jail.

Classed as a prohibited weapon under section 5 of the firearms Act.


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## Guest (Dec 24, 2012)

I'm actually going to say that 99% of you on here, which have been like 'I will stab and shoot them' wouldn't actually do it. You might be protecting your kids, but they will be growing up without a daddy at home.

Although a slap from baseball bat around the legs etc. I think most would do


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## Nobraincells (Sep 30, 2011)

N666T said:


> i got 2 cans of cs spray and a 2ft piece of scaffolding pole by my bed but they got to get past 2 staffies first without gettin chewed to death


Feck me mate don't admit this on a public Internet forum. Cs spray is classed as a section 5 firearm. Same as a handgun.

I would edit your post mate.


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## BoxerJay (Jan 11, 2011)

Jd123 said:


> I'm actually going to say that 99% of you on here, which have been like 'I will stab and shoot them' wouldn't actually do it. You might be protecting your kids, but they will be growing up without a daddy at home.
> 
> Although a slap from baseball bat around the legs etc. I think most would do


They recently changed the laws on home intruders meaning it's more clear cut that you CAN hurt them within reason did they not? You wouldn't go overboard and keep smacking them if they where legging it or unconscious but you'd certainly do enough to neutralise them. If you come down the stairs and they DON'T run then they are serious individuals and if they come towards you then lethal force is the order of the day. Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.


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## lxm (Jul 26, 2011)

Nobraincells said:


> Feck me mate don't admit this on a public Internet forum. Cs spray is classed as a section 5 firearm. Same as a handgun.
> 
> I would edit your post mate.


quotes are a wonderful thing


----------



## Robbie (Dec 31, 2007)

Seeing as it takes me about 15 minutes most mornings to drop my contact lenses on the floor, jab myself in the eye a few times and then finally get them in so i can see. I think a weapon is wasted on me!


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## Robbie (Dec 31, 2007)

So I'll just opt for the lay very still and hope they just leave me alone


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## jon-kent (May 20, 2011)

Robbie said:


> So I'll just opt for the lay very still and hope they just leave me alone


Perhaps have a little stick next to the bed to bite down on incase they think your asleep but dont leave you alone :laugh:


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## kev_1664 (Feb 14, 2007)

This is all you need lol


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Fvck me some of you must live in some ****ty area's.

To all those who have something like a random iron bar beside the bed, or an ASP/CS (Which are illegal as @lxm has already pointed out), there is a possible argument for showing intent there. A self defence situation is not one that is planned. Of course we all want to protect our family, but by using a specific item intended to cause damage on any intruder you showing intent to cause harm, unless you can come up with a valid argument as to why you had a metal bar or some taped up snooker balls in a sock beside your bed. There are plenty of other items that will do exactly the same job, but are justified in being there and as such have no grounds for landing you in the sh!t. Personally as a father of 3 girls, I would do whatever it takes to protect them, but that also includes being there for them after an itrusion, and not in jail because I didn't have the common sense to find something that would do the same job but not be classed as an offensive weapon!

What I have at my house is an alarm system, a German Shephard, and then there's a Maglight beside the bed, which does just as much damage as any iron bar of the same size. Plus you can also use the torch light against an intruder to blind them, which I noticed someone made a joke about, but trust me, trying to assault someone while having a fvck off bright torch light burning into your eyeballs is no easy task! Not only that it is a normal household thing to have.


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## Speedway (Nov 25, 2011)

I had a bit of bother a few years ago and decided to tool up, I spent a good hour or so nailing little tacks into the end of a baseball bat, it looked the business, like something out of a gladiator movie, my mrs went mad when she seen what I had done, she said I would kill who ever I hit with it, I got rid of it after I had calmed down, stupid when I look back but at the time I felt freightened and mad, I just have a metal dumbbell bar now, might still kill someone but does not show as much intent.


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## Guest (Dec 24, 2012)

BoxerJay said:


> They recently changed the laws on home intruders meaning it's more clear cut that you CAN hurt them within reason did they not? You wouldn't go overboard and keep smacking them if they where legging it or unconscious but you'd certainly do enough to neutralise them. If you come down the stairs and they DON'T run then they are serious individuals and if they come towards you then lethal force is the order of the day. Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.


I've no idea about the law changing mate. But reasonable force can be used, I doubt the law will allow use of lethal force tbh...


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## under (May 8, 2007)

Baton by bed and log chipper in garage with lots of black bags.....


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Jd123 said:


> I've no idea about the law changing mate. But reasonable force can be used, I doubt the law will allow use of lethal force tbh...


Lethal force is, in some cases, reasonable force if your life is imminent danger. A rule of thumb to reasonable force is to only use force equal to and proportionate to that being used against you. The key thing to remember as well in any self defence situation (to stay on the right side of the law) is that you only need to protect your life for as long as it is in danger. This is what fvcked over that farmer Tony guy who shot one of his burglars. He shot him in the back while he was running away, which is not protecting your life as the guy is running away, and as such is no longer a threat. Same if you knock someone out, they're no longer a threat if unconscious so it would not be reasonable to kick 7 shades out of them while they are out of it.


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

I would just read them a passage from the bible.


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## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

Pretty sure you get great leniency as a victim of home intrusion but like every legal casei think you get leniency when you are the victim provided you don't take it too far like beat them while they're unconscious or trying to escap

Your punishment is like every other it depends on the day/judge

To the people saying that 99% of people on this thread wouldn't do **** you must live in a crazy place, if you woke up in the night to hear people dpwnstairs in your house what other option do you have? Call the police and wait for them to clean out your house? What would you do if one starts walking up your stairs? Fist fight? Could end up getting tied up and raped/tortured, it happens :/ f*ck that for a laugh


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## ditz (Jun 5, 2012)

It's all well and good saying all this gauge reasonable force etc. but can't help thinking in the situation you'll either freeze and get hurt/killed or hit the cnut as hard as you can as many times as you can and hope he stops moving before he can retaliate.

Then have some nobber tell you you went a bit overboard


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## WilsonR6 (Feb 14, 2012)

ditz said:


> It's all well and good saying all this gauge reasonable force etc. but can't help thinking in the situation you'll either freeze and get hurt/killed or hit the cnut as hard as you can as many times as you can and hope he stops moving before he can retaliate.
> 
> Then have some nobber tell you you went a bit overboard


You freeze in situations like realising you're about to get runover, not when you're about to fight for what could be your life :/ you'd have so mich adrenaline youd feel like the hulk on tren


----------



## ditz (Jun 5, 2012)

WilsonR6 said:


> You freeze in situations like realising you're about to get runover, not when you're about to fight for what could be your life :/ you'd have so mich adrenaline youd feel like the hulk on tren


Guess so.

And if you do happen to be a bit of a hulk and on tren, sh1ts gonna get real


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## sockie (Jul 1, 2012)

Think this would do.?


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## Guest (Dec 24, 2012)

I'd just hit the f**kers with my **** sock, that mo fo is stiff as a steel girder at present!


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## Speedway (Nov 25, 2011)

I never missed with one of these, not once.


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## User Name (Aug 19, 2012)

Nothing to steal.

It's so good being poor


----------



## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

Dux said:


> Such a festive thread
> 
> Merry Christmas to you, too


lols jaysus yous live in some ruff places

i can go bed wiv key in the door and windows left open lols


----------



## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

WilsonR6 said:


> Pretty sure you get great leniency as a victim of home intrusion but like every legal casei think you get leniency when you are the victim provided you don't take it too far like beat them while they're unconscious or trying to escap
> 
> Your punishment is like every other it depends on the day/judge
> 
> * To the people saying that 99% of people on this thread wouldn't do **** you must live in a crazy place, if you woke up in the night to hear people dpwnstairs in your house what other option do you have?* Call the police and wait for them to clean out your house? What would you do if one starts walking up your stairs? Fist fight? Could end up getting tied up and raped/tortured, it happens :/ f*ck that for a laugh


It's not a case of what option you have, it's a case of how you deal with your own adrenaline and fear in a potentially life or death situation, which probably a good percentage of the people on here have never been in. You ever heard of soldiers freezing in battle, despite years of training, or cops unable to pull the trigger on someone despite years of training, and that's just the fear side of things. Studies have shown that people, when put in a threatening situation like a home intrusion, sometimes take the stance of "as long as I co-operate, no one will get hurt", especially when there are kids involved. It happens, and the fact of the matter is that no-one knows how they will react until put in a situation. Yes you can make an educated guess based on previous experience but unless you've been there, you just don't know.


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## ditz (Jun 5, 2012)

Loveleelady said:


> lols jaysus yous live in some ruff places
> 
> i can go bed wiv key in the door and windows left open lols


What's your address


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## 12 gauge (Jul 16, 2011)

Thankfully home invasions (i.e when the residents are at home) are very rare here in the U.K, in the majority of instances when they do occur it is usually criminals targeting other criminals, mainly drug dealers getting robbed of their stash and money.

In the rare cases where law abiding citizens do get targeted, the bad news is that it's more than likely going to be an armed gang who have done their homework and planned the robbery for some considerable time before they actually strike. They can and oftentimes do have inside information, in such cases those targeted have large amounts of money, jewelry or other valuables in their homes.

Something tells me that a large torch is just not gonna get the job done when faced with a gang of 4 or 5 or more well prepared armed robbers, 

The good news I guess is that most of us haven't got enough valuables in our homes for anyone to bother.


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Speedway said:


> View attachment 105177
> 
> 
> I never missed with one of these, not once.


Fvck you must have a long hallway as that has a minimum arming distance of what, 200m?


----------



## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

ditz said:


> What's your address


lol

just thinking i got some nite cream, body lotion, day cream and oils by my bed

i cud massage them ta death lmao


----------



## ditz (Jun 5, 2012)

Loveleelady said:


> lol
> 
> just thinking i got some nite cream, body lotion, day cream and oils by my bed
> 
> i cud massage them ta death lmao


Now I really want your address haha


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## Speedway (Nov 25, 2011)

mikep81 said:


> Fvck you must have a long hallway as that has a minimum arming distance of what, 200m?


Not to mention melting myself with the back blast as I fire it in my bedroom lol


----------



## 12 gauge (Jul 16, 2011)

Loveleelady said:


> lol
> 
> just thinking i got some nite cream, body lotion, day cream and oils by my bed
> 
> i cud massage them ta death lmao


I think your actually provoking a home invasion there.


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## ditz (Jun 5, 2012)

12 gauge said:


> I think your actually provoking a home invasion there.


Certainly an invasion of something dunno about her home lol


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## Smitch (Dec 29, 2008)

Loveleelady said:


> lols jaysus yous live in some ruff places
> 
> i can go bed wiv key in the door and windows left open lols


So can most of these guys, most of them also think they live in a Quentin Tarantino film by the sound of it though!


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

12 gauge said:


> I think your actually provoking a home invasion there.


yeh like reverse psychology they think they gonna get somethin

then they meets a nutjob like me wielding the oils


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## 12 gauge (Jul 16, 2011)

mikep81 said:


> Fvck you must have a long hallway as that has a minimum arming distance of what, 200m?


Well only someone who has actually been trained to fire one would know that, wouldn't they? :whistling:


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## Speedway (Nov 25, 2011)

12 gauge said:


> Well only someone who has actually been trained to fire one would know that, wouldn't they? :whistling:


I fired them for four years :thumb:


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## 12 gauge (Jul 16, 2011)

Loveleelady said:


> yeh like reverse psychology they think they gonna get somethin
> 
> then they meets a nutjob like me wielding the oils


Just don't tell Breda, cause he'll be round with one of those things in post #2, only his is real.


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## 12 gauge (Jul 16, 2011)

Speedway said:


> I fired them for four years :thumb:


Your an ex squaddie as well are ya?


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## Speedway (Nov 25, 2011)

12 gauge said:


> Your an ex squaddie as well are ya?


Yes mate, about 10 years ago now though, still feel like I have only been out 5 minutes though, time fly's I guess.


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

12 gauge said:


> Just don't tell Breda, cause he'll be round with one of those things in post #2, only his is real.


lol rite closin windows and hidin key


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## 12 gauge (Jul 16, 2011)

Speedway said:


> Yes mate, about 10 years ago now though, still feel like I have only been out 5 minutes though, time fly's I guess.


Just to clarify, when I said "as well" I was referring to mikep81 who is also an ex soldier if I remember correctly and not myself.


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## Speedway (Nov 25, 2011)

12 gauge said:


> Just to clarify, when I said "as well" I was referring to mikep81 who is also an ex soldier if I remember correctly and not myself.


And just to clarify, I don't really have one of these beside my bed lol


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## 12 gauge (Jul 16, 2011)

Speedway said:


> And just to clarify, I don't really have one of these beside my bed lol


Well of course you don't, everyone knows you need a minimum arming distance of at least 200m to fire one of those.


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

Speedway said:


> And just to clarify, I don't really have one of these beside my bed lol


and to clarify i dont kill men wiv me me massage skills


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## 12 gauge (Jul 16, 2011)

Loveleelady said:


> and to clarify i dont kill men wiv me me massage skills


I'm sorry but that's just not good enough, I'm on my way to lovely Fermanagh to find out for myself.

I just hope I get there before Breda.


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## Loveleelady (Jan 3, 2012)

12 gauge said:


> I'm sorry but that's just not good enough, I'm on my way to lovely Fermanagh to find out for myself.
> 
> I just hope I get there before Breda.


I got the PSNI on high alert for a car load of muscle heads in need of a massage


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Speedway said:


> Not to mention melting myself with the back blast as I fire it in my bedroom lol


This is true and a common problem for the Hallway Milan Weapon System.


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

12 gauge said:


> Just to clarify, when I said "as well" I was referring to mikep81 who is also an ex soldier if I remember correctly and not myself.


You remember correctly!


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## jon-kent (May 20, 2011)

kev_1664 said:


> This is all you need lol


Haha thats what ive got sleeping on the floor in front of me mate ! But he's my kid and its my job to protect him as well as the rest of the family ! He can eat what i leave of them :laugh:


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## jon-kent (May 20, 2011)

Send anyone you want.....just dont send anyone you want back !! :lol:


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## saxondale (Nov 11, 2012)

12 gauge said:


> Thankfully home invasions (i.e when the residents are at home) are very rare here in the U.K, in the majority of instances when they do occur it is usually criminals targeting other criminals, mainly drug dealers getting robbed of their stash and money.
> 
> In the rare cases where law abiding citizens do get targeted, the bad news is that it's more than likely going to be an armed gang who have done their homework and planned the robbery for some considerable time before they actually strike. They can and oftentimes do have inside information, in such cases those targeted have large amounts of money, jewelry or other valuables in their homes.
> 
> ...


Thats not the case anymore - blame the car manufacturers. We attended more occupied break ins than unoccupied last year


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

Look what happened to Tony Martin in '94..went to prison for shooting a burglar.

Got released after a few mos I think.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Martin_%28farmer%29


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## MrM (Feb 6, 2012)

latblaster said:


> Look what happened to Tony Martin in '94..went to prison for shooting a burglar.
> 
> Got released after a few mos I think.
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Martin_%28farmer%29


Maybe I remember wrong but did he not shoot one of them in the back or while they were trying to escape out a window?


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

latblaster said:


> Look what happened to Tony Martin in '94..went to prison for shooting a burglar.
> 
> Got released after a few mos I think.
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Martin_%28farmer%29


An almost perfect example of disproportionate force. His first, and possibly his second shot were justified, but I think it was found that he fired the third, fatal shot as they were fleeing. If someone is fleeing they are no longer a threat to your safety so there is no need to defend yourself.


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## latblaster (Oct 26, 2013)

Yea he did, poor sod had been terrorised for some time, & I think he had learning issues.

Doesn't make it right though, but it's bad enuff being street robbed so a home break in...I'd sh!t meself.


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## Justin Cider (Jul 18, 2010)

RockyD said:


> You're not currently residing at one of her majesty's 'hotels' by any chance?


not currently at this moment, do work at one though


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## Bradz (Feb 3, 2008)

None required, anyone coming face to face with my wife in the middle of the night would run a mile.

If that fails her years of kick boxing would give me some entertainment to watch.


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## Mingster (Mar 25, 2011)

I have a house full of weapons. Not for home defence but because I am a collector and a student of history...

For those of you with replica swords or cheap Japanese blades - get rid of them, they are more likely to injury you than anyone you swing them against. There are lots of superior options. Also, wielding a sword is surprisingly difficult without training, especially against an armed opponent. If you must go down this route go for a pointed weapon intended for stabbing such as a gladius or Greek kopis.


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## Bulk1 (Apr 12, 2007)

Just got this next to my bed.. incase someone fancies a game of baseball.


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## ditz (Jun 5, 2012)

mikep81 said:


> An almost perfect example of disproportionate force. His first, and possibly his second shot were justified, but I think it was found that he fired the third, fatal shot as they were fleeing. If someone is fleeing they are no longer a threat to your safety so there is no need to defend yourself.


Say this bloke recovered from his first and second shots then came back to get revenge on the farmer?

Entirely possible?


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

ditz said:


> Say this bloke recovered from his first and second shots then came back to get revenge on the farmer?
> 
> Entirely possible?


Make your first shot (whilst still being deemed to be self-defence) as lethal as can be.

Sorts out this issue.


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## MNR (Jun 2, 2011)

Huntingground said:



> Make your first shot (whilst still being deemed to be self-defence) as lethal as can be.
> 
> Sorts out this issue.


Yeah the throat. Sorry mr police officer if I wanted to kill him I would have shot him in the head.

Your free to go sir lol.


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## rovermb6 (Jan 19, 2012)

can't beleive people have got staffy guard dogs, my staffy used to cry at the window when anyone walked onto my driveway, probably the worst guard dog ever, if it was another dog that came near the house it would be a different story, these dogs were bred for attacking dogs not people, same thing goes for pitbulls.

german shephards or dobermans would be my dog of choice for guarding property they just love taking chunks out of people.


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

ditz said:


> Say this bloke recovered from his first and second shots then came back to get revenge on the farmer?
> 
> Entirely possible?


Yes entirely possible, but then in that case he would have been justified in firing another shot because he would have been, or at least felt, in danger once again. If those shots then killed him that too would probably be deemed ad justified. At the end of the day, in any situation, if your attacker is no longer a threat because they are running away or unconscious but you are still attacking then you are no longer the victim acting in self defence. You become the aggressor and its at that point that you need to stop to remain on the right side of the law.


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## 12 gauge (Jul 16, 2011)

Whilst weapons whether improvised or real provide a sense of security, in reality I doubt they would be of much use.

A better course of action would be to secure your home as best as possible to make it as difficult as possible for it to be broken into.The threat would obviously need to be assessed and if one is at a high risk of home invasion the appropriate measures could be implemented.

I remember watching crimewatch once where they showed this guy who was a billionaire and he had been attacked and robbed in his own home, he had taken no precautions and his security was very lax, the point being if someone is gonna rob you they'll surprise you when you least expect it. Imagine, your sat in front of the telly, you've stuffed yourself,had a drink and can hardly move.You hear a loud bang (your front door being kicked in) and before you can even get up off your couch there are three big balaclava clad men armed with knives/machetes etc standing over you with their weapons at your throat shouting where's the f****ing money.I don't think that baseball bat upstairs next to your bed is gonna be of any use.The fact is to prevent that sort of thing happening you need to make your home a castle by reinforcing your doors/widows etc. Make it as difficult as possible for the B'stards to get in, that way at least you have time to call for help etc.

Anyway like I said for most of us I would assume it highly unlikely that someone would go to the trouble, I haven't invested in making my home very secure cause I don't feel I need to, YMMV.


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## Lean&amp;Mean&amp;Clean (May 9, 2008)

The Gimp said:


> Hi guys
> 
> Been thinking of getting a little something to keep close to hand in the event of a break in and i need to protect my family.
> 
> ...


what on eart is wrong with ya?

would be very interested to know what other "what if" bull**** is in your head?

obv for a big lauch lmmao


----------



## Captain-splooge (May 29, 2011)

Lean&Mean&Clean said:


> what on eart is wrong with ya?
> 
> would be very interested to know what other "what if" bull**** is in your head?
> 
> obv for a big lauch lmmao


YOLO


----------



## The L Man (Sep 13, 2010)

My Dad has a baseball bat in his room for potential intruders.


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## Paul_k2 (Mar 21, 2009)

Haven read the whole thread but for 'tools' try a website called securitywizard, a very nice collect of items, postage takes around 10days but forget the stun guns, cant get through customers but everything else it fine, shocking really lol


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## Geonix (Apr 4, 2011)

Heres a good tool, USE YOUR BRAIN AND LOCK YOUR WINDOWS / DOORS... IF THEY SMASH THESE.. JUST SHOUT DOWN DOWN STAIRS, TAKE WHATEVER THE **** YOU WANT, POLICE ARE INC IN 2 MINUTES.. AS LONG AS YOU'RE FAMILIES SAVE... NO ONE WILL GO OUT THEY'RE WAY TO HURT THEM...


----------



## SuzukiRock (Dec 26, 2012)

You want the 3 cell maglite, the 4 cell is heavier to swing but longer too, makes it poorly balanced. The 3 cell is just right for the job, crack the ****er in the collar bone and keep some hefty cable ties around to secure them until the police get there


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## bambi1550 (Dec 10, 2012)

R0BLET said:


> This will do some damage!!
> 
> View attachment 105134


I have one of those.... you mean I can use it as a weapon too?!

Acccceeeeee


----------



## TELBOR (Feb 20, 2012)

bambi1550 said:


> I have one of those.... you mean I can use it as a weapon too?!
> 
> Acccceeeeee


Oh yeah, swift blow to the back of the head and they're out cold!

Failing that....... straight up the shítter


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## ditz (Jun 5, 2012)

Hatchet Harry's weapon of choice if I recall


----------



## jon-kent (May 20, 2011)

Geonix said:


> Heres a good tool, USE YOUR BRAIN AND LOCK YOUR WINDOWS / DOORS... IF THEY SMASH THESE.. JUST SHOUT DOWN DOWN STAIRS, TAKE WHATEVER THE **** YOU WANT, POLICE ARE INC IN 2 MINUTES.. AS LONG AS YOU'RE FAMILIES SAVE... NO ONE WILL GO OUT THEY'RE WAY TO HURT THEM...


----------



## skinnnyfat (Feb 26, 2012)

Geonix said:


> Heres a good tool, USE YOUR BRAIN AND LOCK YOUR WINDOWS / DOORS... IF THEY SMASH THESE.. JUST SHOUT DOWN DOWN STAIRS, TAKE WHATEVER THE **** YOU WANT, POLICE ARE INC IN 2 MINUTES.. AS LONG AS YOU'RE FAMILIES SAVE... NO ONE WILL GO OUT THEY'RE WAY TO HURT THEM...


This is the worst advice ever.


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## Lean&amp;Mean&amp;Clean (May 9, 2008)

so in the mean time did someone threaten you to bottom up with a gun??


----------



## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

skinnnyfat said:


> This is the worst advice ever.


Locking your windows and doors is bad? I've been doing it wrong


----------



## loftus (Mar 9, 2012)

i got a long rubber whip made by masai in kenya from a lorry cambelt.and it slices whoever gets it like a razor and makes em scream like a biatch lol..also used in kenya against rioters by kenyan plod

i thought if i bought a rubber dom mask and carried the whip along side the mask :devil2:would it give me imunity from a nicking just like the baseball bat and baseball??


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## gavzilla (Feb 7, 2010)

no comment


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## vetran (Oct 17, 2009)

i wish some fcker would come in and rob my house ime just in the fckin mood for it lol


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## WillOdling (Aug 27, 2009)

Paul_k2 said:


> Haven read the whole thread but for 'tools' try a website called securitywizard, a very nice collect of items, postage takes around 10days but forget the stun guns, cant get through customers but everything else it fine, shocking really lol


I'll check these out I like the "belt buckles"

What did you order?


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## Zola (Mar 14, 2012)

A baseball bat is handy and aerodynamic


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## The Gimp (Jul 6, 2008)

Lean&Mean&Clean said:


> what on eart is wrong with ya?
> 
> would be very interested to know what other "what if" bull**** is in your head?
> 
> obv for a big lauch lmmao


I cant fathom what you are trying to say, or if its even a question you are asking.

It appears that most people have something to hand " just in case", so it's fairly normal and not just paranoia on my part for asking on a forum


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## ducky699 (Jul 23, 2012)

my mum brought me home an irish shillelagh years ago, thats goin roound somebody if they try getting in


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## Paul_k2 (Mar 21, 2009)

WillOdling said:


> I'll check these out I like the "belt buckles"
> 
> What did you order?


A couple of 'belt buckles' nice n heavy too and some 'takedown sticks' heavy n high quality


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## Ser (Aug 10, 2008)

Haha, i saw this thread and thought it would be 'sex aids' you were on about!

I keep a glass bottle, something that isn't out of place....but will do enough damage to make sure that my family are protected...i also have a metal thing in the cupboard next to my bedroom door, it has a hook on the end, don't know how i came by it, think i moved into rented accomodation and found it in the loft tbh, someone told me it was used for lifting drains?????? Either way, anyone comes into my house and threatens my family in the middle of the night has one crabbit angry(from being woken) b1tch to deal with....and thats before you take weapons into account:lol:


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## Ian_Montrose (Nov 13, 2007)

I keep a small manicure set in the bedside drawer. I have it on good authority I could overpower the crew and passengers on a commercial airliner with it. Sorting out a couple of burglars should therefore be a piece of cake.


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## Twisted (Oct 6, 2010)

A Gurkha knife

An old style Police baton which doubles nicely as a dildo

A bayonet from 1918 although its too valuable to stick in a burglar so I may save it about a bit

A nine stone bulldog

Failing that I can always throw my Mrs at it.


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## Shady45 (Jan 5, 2010)

Ser said:


> Haha, i saw this thread and thought it would be 'sex aids' you were on about!
> 
> I keep a glass bottle, something that isn't out of place....but will do enough damage to make sure that my family are protected...i also have a metal thing in the cupboard next to my bedroom door, it has a hook on the end, don't know how i came by it, think i moved into rented accomodation and found it in the loft tbh, someone told me it was used for lifting drains?????? Either way, anyone comes into my house and threatens my family in the middle of the night has one crabbit angry(from being woken) b1tch to deal with....and thats before you take weapons into account:lol:


I can just imagine weeman screaming high pitch in the corner of the room whilst covering his eyes, as you start to massacre burglars


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## Ser (Aug 10, 2008)

Shady45 said:


> I can just imagine weeman screaming high pitch in the corner of the room whilst covering his eyes, as you start to massacre burglars


That sounds about right! I am always first on the move if I hear a noise in the house, weeman walks behind me cowering and saying stuff like "its ok hen, am right behind you"

Everyone knows I can be a vicious wee sod when am riled...ill beat them half to death with my fists and then rape their bums with the glass bottle :innocent:


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## Ashcrapper (Jul 3, 2008)

Ser said:


> That sounds about right! I am always first on the move if I hear a noise in the house, weeman walks behind me cowering and saying stuff like "its ok hen, am right behind you"
> 
> Everyone knows I can be a vicious wee sod when am riled...*ill beat them half to death with my fists and then rape their bums with the glass bottle* :innocent:


normal weekend then


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## Mighty.Panda (Oct 5, 2011)

**** me 20 pages? I bet it's mostly lads telling stories isn't it, you bloody rambo's :whistling: it's definitely wise to keep something by your bed. I'm planning on getting a crossbow when I can afford it (no psycho). I currently have a wooden baton that I keep by mine.

My mother actually keeps a stainless steel hachet in her bedside draw :lol: :lol: shocked me a little when she showed me but I'm personally glad she has something.


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## Freeby0 (Oct 5, 2012)

The Gimp said:


> This is a good idea thanks.


Hmm ive got quite a few of these sorts of things, 16" is a little small i prefer the 23" ones. Sap gloves are pretty sick but only if you can pack a punch anyway. I suppose the best weapon really is a sharp knife but even if they are breaking into your house...you dont want to kill them, because no matter what the circumstances are your going to go jail 100%.

Try Ioffer, thats were i get all my knuckle dusters and batons, sap gloves and such. Just make sure you check out the sellers reputation as you get alot of scammers on that site,

http://gb.ioffer.com/i/23-carbon-expandable-police-baton-telescopic-batons-510274786


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## Justin Cider (Jul 18, 2010)

Freeby0 said:


> Hmm ive got quite a few of these sorts of things, 16" is a little small i prefer the 23" ones. Sap gloves are pretty sick but only if you can pack a punch anyway. I suppose the best weapon really is a sharp knife but even if they are breaking into your house...you dont want to kill them, because no matter what the circumstances are your going to go jail 100%.
> 
> Try Ioffer, thats were i get all my knuckle dusters and batons, sap gloves and such. Just make sure you check out the sellers reputation as you get alot of scammers on that site,
> 
> http://gb.ioffer.com/i/23-carbon-expandable-police-baton-telescopic-batons-510274786


reps for that badboy


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## Breda (May 2, 2011)

Look around your gaff and you will find many things that could hurt a cnut. No point investing in anything that could be seen as "premeditated"


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## bambi1550 (Dec 10, 2012)

R0BLET said:


> Oh yeah, swift blow to the back of the head and they're out cold!
> 
> Failing that....... straight up the shítter


Straight up the ****ter? I hear some people like that kinda thing. :whistling:


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## rectus (Jan 18, 2012)

Freeby0 said:


> Hmm ive got quite a few of these sorts of things, 16" is a little small i prefer the 23" ones. Sap gloves are pretty sick but only if you can pack a punch anyway. I suppose the best weapon really is a sharp knife but even if they are breaking into your house...you dont want to kill them, because no matter what the circumstances are your going to go jail 100%.
> 
> Try Ioffer, thats were i get all my knuckle dusters and batons, sap gloves and such. Just make sure you check out the sellers reputation as you get alot of scammers on that site,
> 
> http://gb.ioffer.com/i/23-carbon-expandable-police-baton-telescopic-batons-510274786


Those batons are still illegal though, right?


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## Dazza (Aug 7, 2010)

Ashcrapper said:


> normal weekend then


Don't think they ever have a normal weekend 

First thing that came to my mind was my fleshlight :tongue:

But as for actual tools, umm well i have a collection of various straight razors in my bedside cabinet, suppose that could come in handy.

Only problem is finding the right one, no way id be using any of my vintage blades.


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## Freeby0 (Oct 5, 2012)

rectus said:


> Those batons are still illegal though, right?


Well, Yes...if your walking down the street with one on show and coppers drive by your getting nicked and charged without a doubt, but if you have one in your house out of the way you wont get in any trouble.


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## Huntingground (Jan 10, 2010)

I cannot believe that this thread is still going. If you have kids in the house, all force is justified.


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## Heath (Mar 3, 2011)

Enjoy fishing? All you need is wire around the throat :lol:


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## HAWKUS (Jan 11, 2012)

my dad was a taxi driver for a bit and used to keep a small leather pouch in the car,filled with ten pence pieces and wrapped really tight...swung and hit with it would of been like getting hit with a brick.


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## ditz (Jun 5, 2012)

HAWKUS said:


> my dad was a taxi driver for a bit and used to keep a small leather pouch in the car,filled with ten pence pieces and wrapped really tight...swung and hit with it would of been like getting hit with a brick.


A brick would probably have been a few pence cheaper


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## HAWKUS (Jan 11, 2012)

ditz said:


> A brick would probably have been a few pence cheaper


not exactly part of a taxi drivers kit though matey


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## 12 gauge (Jul 16, 2011)

HAWKUS said:


> not exactly part of a taxi drivers kit though matey


Yeah and not something you could explain away either.


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## pooky (Jun 20, 2012)

shouldnt u big lads just use your muscle as a weapon? beat sh!t out of them with ur bare hands


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## ditz (Jun 5, 2012)

HAWKUS said:


> not exactly part of a taxi drivers kit though matey


Wheel chock 



pooky said:


> shouldnt u big lads just use your muscle as a weapon? beat sh!t out of them with ur bare hands


Don't be silly mate.

Where would you find the time to calculate that sort of energy expenditure in to your daily calories - that sh1t could put you back days....

No no, need something much less energetic


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## jon-kent (May 20, 2011)

pooky said:


> shouldnt u big lads just use your muscle as a weapon? beat sh!t out of them with ur bare hands


Lol muscles aint always weapons mate ! If that was true this guy would be a fcuking killer !


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## pooky (Jun 20, 2012)

ditz said:


> Wheel chock
> 
> Don't be silly mate.
> 
> ...


this is true, ill av a flapjack beside my bed then for extra calories then ill bash the [email protected] up


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## pooky (Jun 20, 2012)

jon-kent said:


> Lol muscles aint always weapons mate ! If that was true this guy would be a fcuking killer !


haha excellent. ok point taken! hes a rite pussy


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## mattc1991 (Jan 2, 2012)

Always keep a maglite by the bed, because its heavy, strong, an v bright.

Just made meself a knuckle duster which is kept bedside aswell. Which is discreet as hell so they won't see it coming, specially when I blind them with my little maggy.


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## The Project (Jul 21, 2007)

If you think you are in trouble, make a cock and bull story and report it to the police not on a 999 number. Tell them someone is outside a couple of times and you fear for your family's safety. Make sure its logged by them. Then fill your boots self defense as logged by the police.


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Mighty.Panda said:


> **** me 20 pages? I bet it's mostly lads telling stories isn't it, you bloody rambo's :whistling: it's definitely wise to keep something by your bed. I'm planning on getting a crossbow when I can afford it (no psycho). I currently have a wooden baton that I keep by mine.
> 
> My mother actually keeps a stainless steel hachet in her bedside draw :lol: :lol: shocked me a little when she showed me but I'm personally glad she has something.


I actually have a crossbow. It's not easily accessible though. In fact its a collapsible one and is just used for fun. Would take fvcking ages to get it set up, and you'd be fvcked if you missed with the first bolt.

To all the people who are talking about extend-able batons etc, these are ILLEGAL and will drop you in the **** as having one by your bedside is not normal!! Having a piece of pipe by your bed, is not normal either and will throw suspicions of intent. A torch, or if you have a loft ladder a hook pole to pull it down etc are normal acceptable items to have in your household and will throw no suspicion up about intent, but will do just as much damage. To give a comparison, I actually use this torch for work;



It fits in the palm of my hand, but the Glass Breaker Bezel/Strike Bezel/Tactical Map Reading Bezel on the end is fvcking nasty when slammed into someone's collar bone or anywhere else on their body for that matter. But above all else, prevention is better than cure and for those that are massively paranoid about being $rse raped/murdered/tortured/assassinated** in their sleep, I suggest you invest in a decent home alarm system, including PIR sensors, to at least wake you up when someone enters your house. Because that metal pipe won't do you any good if big bubba breaks in and you're still snoring away all cosy in bed!!

** delete as appropriate


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## rectus (Jan 18, 2012)

Freeby0 said:


> Well, Yes...if your walking down the street with one on show and coppers drive by your getting nicked and charged without a doubt, but if you have one in your house out of the way you wont get in any trouble.


Of course, but I assumed just the act of buying it on-line was illegal. I would like to get one for my bedroom but I would probably get a visit from the Police about it. I don't know if this is true though...


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Freeby0 said:


> Well, Yes...if your walking down the street with one on show and coppers drive by your getting nicked and charged without a doubt, but if you have one in your house out of the way you wont get in any trouble.


Actually that's not strictly true. It's a weapon made or adapted to cause injury and as such comes under the offensive weapons act. Having one in your home to look at and play with on your own is fine, but if you were to use it it could throw questions up over your defence. I'm curious as to why people would want an extendable baton anyway? It's designed for portability, hence why it can collapse down, which is not something needed for the home!


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## Mighty.Panda (Oct 5, 2011)

mikep81 said:


> I actually have a crossbow. It's not easily accessible though. In fact its a collapsible one and is just used for fun. Would take fvcking ages to get it set up, and you'd be fvcked if you missed with the first bolt.
> 
> To all the people who are talking about extend-able batons etc, these are ILLEGAL and will drop you in the **** as having one by your bedside is not normal!! Having a piece of pipe by your bed, is not normal either and will throw suspicions of intent. A torch, or if you have a loft ladder a hook pole to pull it down etc are normal acceptable items to have in your household and will throw no suspicion up about intent, but will do just as much damage. To give a comparison, I actually use this torch for work;
> 
> ...


:laugh:!!

With regards to the crossbow it's mainly a substitute for a firearm. Most people will never ever be in a situation where they would need one and most people who know me know I absolutely hate violence but I would honestly own one if it was legal. It just boils down to the simple philosophy of it's better to have it and never need it than to need it and never have it. Would love nothing more than for it to collect dust under the bed, too much violence in this world.

Crossbows are incredibly powerful though and can seriously maim or very easily kill someone meaning they are good substitutes. Point one at someone and they will take you very seriously and more than likely will **** off when you point one and say GET OUT. Half the power of a weapon is its intimidation factor I would hope if anything ever did happen the fear of being shot would be enough to make someone leave. The paranoia for me isn't that I have a wife or kids to protect it's the fact I'm all alone which is worse.

Funnily enough I think one of the best things you can keep next you whilst your asleep is a wife/girlfriend people will laugh but it's true. Imagine you have a burglar or what ever else in your room, he can only wrestle with one of you which leaves a second person free to use phone or to move and grab something heavy. Additionally an extra person can create a hell of a lot of extra noise as well. Doesn't matter how small she is anyone can dial 999 or reach for a vase/heavy book.


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Mighty.Panda said:


> :laugh:!!
> 
> With regards to the crossbow it's mainly a substitute for a firearm. Most people will never ever be in a situation where they would need one and most people who know me know I absolutely hate violence but I would honestly own one if it was legal. It just boils down to the simple philosophy of it's better to have it and never need it than to need it and never have it. Would love nothing more than for it to collect dust under the bed, too much violence in this world.
> 
> ...


You're right about the power, well if you get the right string for it anyway. Mine is accurate up to about 40 metres and when I first bought it I tested it against my mums old wooden flower pot (the large ones that are more like a bath tub), It was empty at the time, but the bolt went right through the thing, then it went through a pallet and stopped half way through her rear fence.  This is the one I have;


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## Ser (Aug 10, 2008)

Haha, on a funny note....i WON a 5' broad sword in one of my comps...its in my bedroom....i'd still use the glass bottle beside my bed if my home was invaded...the fekking thing weight a bloody tonne!(not that it actually weighs an actual tonne, but the thing is VERY heavy, having just woken up...glass bottle ftw, so much easier to control!)


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## dbaird (Sep 2, 2012)

seriously... how many people fear for their lives like this?


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## Ser (Aug 10, 2008)

dbaird said:


> seriously... how many people fear for their lives like this?


I don't fear as such, its not like i spend alot of time considering it, but in MY area....and in some of the area's i have lived previously(much worse than the current area) it IS a real threat all year long, just moreso at this time of year, brand new goodies, still boxed just ASKING to be taken. I do have the odd worry, on occasion by itself....the thread about area's being rife for burglary at this time of year DID make me worry a bit more....because of the area i live, and the area's i have lived previously. IF you ain't worried then i assume that you are in a 'better' area, so it is less of an issue(note the LESS, rather than it not being an issue at all)

Furthermore, the front of the local rag this week is showing a family that had a housefire on xmas eve....lost everything, not just the xmas prezzies, EVERYTHING they owned. No one to blame, such a sad, sad thing. So tragic.


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

dbaird said:


> seriously... how many people fear for their lives like this?


I don't. I do however, as corny as it sounds, need to take certain precautions because I work in Close Protection. I look after people who have a very genuine threat against them and as such that risk transfers over to me, plus the easiest way to get to most of these people is through their personal security. But as I said earlier. Something as simple as a house alarm and good secure windows will 9 times out of 10 negate any need for all these metal bars and bags filled with snooker balls that people keep mentioning.


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## Mighty.Panda (Oct 5, 2011)

mikep81 said:


> You're right about the power, well if you get the right string for it anyway. Mine is accurate up to about 40 metres and when I first bought it I tested it against my mums old wooden flower pot (the large ones that are more like a bath tub), It was empty at the time, but the bolt went right through the thing, then it went through a pallet and stopped half way through her rear fence.  This is the one I have;
> 
> View attachment 105701


It's a nice piece of kit. Apparently all crossbows have to be under 50lbs in the UK but that is honestly still pretty lethal. My dads recurve bow is 45lbs and it used to bury it's projectiles in stiff hay targets at 200+ meters. Room distances... That's some bloody power! Admitidly though as a few people have said before it's definitely not something that the police would ignore or deem acceptable to keep beside your bed...

But it depends how paranoid you are I suppose. I've had a switch blade under the pillow before and a can of deodrent on the table (mace effect essentially) but don't fortify myself religiously every night. As another guy said a few pages back if you treat every bedtime as a potential CQB engagement you should probably see about moving ****ing house..

I think the walking dead has definitely made crossbows more popular haha. You can get some that are pretty ****ing cool to be honest with 300+lb pulls, state of the art optics and laser pointers. Need firearm licenses for them though, I've seen projectiles from 180lb bows go through 8 inches of wood!


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## Ser (Aug 10, 2008)

My area is RIFE with it...i still wouldn't move, everyone i love is here, my family, my friends. I have lived in worse area's, doesn't take away the fact that my area has the problems is has.

I DO love my area, even if my family and friends weren't here, i love this area, its steeped in history, all my childhood memories are from here...the views are amazing, the lanscape is beautiful. I know this area like the back of my hand, probably better!

I DID move away once...and it took a long time to get back here....moving away was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

I am willing to take the rough....cause it is worth it for what i get out of living here.


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Mighty.Panda said:


> It's a nice piece of kit. Apparently all crossbows have to be under 50lbs in the UK but that is honestly still pretty lethal. My dads recurve bow is 45lbs and it used to bury it's projectiles in stiff hay targets at 200+ meters. Room distances... That's some bloody power! Admitidly though as a few people have said before it's definitely not something that the police would ignore or deem acceptable to keep beside your bed...
> 
> But it depends how paranoid you are I suppose. I've had a switch blade under the pillow before and a can of deodrent on the table (mace effect essentially) but don't fortify myself religiously every night. As another guy said a few pages back if you treat every bedtime as a potential CQB engagement you should probably see about moving ****ing house..
> 
> I think the walking dead has definitely made crossbows more popular haha. You can get some that are pretty ****ing cool to be honest with 300+lb pulls, state of the art optics and laser pointers. Need firearm licenses for them though, I've seen projectiles from 180lb bows go through 8 inches of wood!


You know what, I'm not that clued up on the legislation for crossbows, I should be reall, but I've had mine for about 10 years now. I got it off a mate for a bottle of Issy Myake!!


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## Mighty.Panda (Oct 5, 2011)

mikep81 said:


> You know what, I'm not that clued up on the legislation for crossbows, I should be reall, but I've had mine for about 10 years now. I got it off a mate for a bottle of Issy Myake!!


Hmm I've no idea when they changed the rules but I remember talking with my dad about them once it was about 15 years ago from what I remember was that you could have what ever lb'idge you could afford. I suspect it got changed after 2001ish though. Soon as the world and media went terrorist obsessed they cranked down on lots of things that can be used as weapons. I mean you use to be able to own full sized stainless steel katana's but these days you can't even take toenail clippers on commercial aircraft! Quite possible you got yours before they cranked down on crossbows but who knows.


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## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

One of my proposed idea's was a paint bull gun filled with the right sized marbles...pure pain!

There is also an excellent documentary on how to protect your house with house hold objects from burglars...it's called HOME ALONE..Check it out!


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Mighty.Panda said:


> Hmm I've no idea when they changed the rules but I remember talking with my dad about them once it was about 15 years ago from what I remember was that you could have what ever lb'idge you could afford. I suspect it got changed after 2001ish though. Soon as the world and media went terrorist obsessed they cranked down on lots of things that can be used as weapons. I mean you use to be able to own full sized stainless steel katana's but these days *you can't even take toenail clippers on commercial aircraft!* Quite possible you got yours before they cranked down on crossbows but who knows.


Or military flights either! I had mine confiscated from my hand luggage coming home from Afghan on an RAF flight! I think they thought I loved Afghan so much that I would hijack the plane and go back!

Yeah my crossbow wasn't even a legit sale to be honest. My mate bought it a few years before he basically gave it to me so fvck knows what the law was then. But I was only 20 then and didn't really consider the law! It was actually 11 years ago now. Fvck I feel old after saying that!!


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## Mighty.Panda (Oct 5, 2011)

mikep81 said:


> Or military flights either! I had mine confiscated from my hand luggage coming home from Afghan on an RAF flight! I think they thought I loved Afghan so much that I would hijack the plane and go back!
> 
> Yeah my crossbow wasn't even a legit sale to be honest. My mate bought it a few years before he basically gave it to me so fvck knows what the law was then. But I was only 20 then and didn't really consider the law! It was actually 11 years ago now. Fvck I feel old after saying that!!


Yeah sounds like that bow is very old lol laws would have been p1ss lax at the time. And that's ridiculous don't you carry your gear with you anyway or is it taken in on separate aircraft? Not really sure how it all works lol.


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

cwoody123 said:


> *One of my proposed idea's was a paint bull gun filled with the right sized marbles...pure pain!*
> 
> There is also an excellent documentary on how to protect your house with house hold objects from burglars...it's called HOME ALONE..Check it out!


Having a paintball gun beside your bed full of marbles, I'm guessing, may throw up some alarm bells against your defence!

The key to defending yourself or your property is to stay on the right side of the law, or at least appear to. It's no good saying (and this isn't aimed at you), "if someone came at my kids I'd attack them with the chainsaw I have under my bed". Because what good are you going to be to your kids if you're in jail. How will you protect your family then? If you feel it necessary to have something by your bedside for protection, then it would make sense to use something that can easily be explained to almost guarantee that you stay out of jail. Ser's example of a glass bottle is a good one. Easily explainable. In court you say you heard someone in your house so grabbed the nearest thing for protection. My wife, while I'm not there has a maglite next to the bed. This can be explained as being useful if there is a power cut in the night. Try explaining to a judge that you just happened to pick up your sock filled with taped up snooker balls, or a 4ft metal bar that just happened to be under your bed and watch his eyebrows raise!

I'll have a look at that show, it sounds interesting.


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Mighty.Panda said:


> Yeah sounds like that bow is very old lol laws would have been p1ss lax at the time. And that's ridiculous don't you carry your gear with you anyway or is it taken in on separate aircraft? Not really sure how it all works lol.


No, bayonet and rifle go in a special weapons bundle that is put in the hold, then all your weapon and ancillary kit go into the hold, but you have your body armour and helmet with you in case the plane gets shot at on take off/landing. Obviously special types of flights, like that that the Special Forces might use for an immediate action are different. But normal troop movements don't have that luxury!


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## Mighty.Panda (Oct 5, 2011)

mikep81 said:


> No, bayonet and rifle go in a special weapons bundle that is put in the hold, then all your weapon and ancillary kit go into the hold, but you have your body armour and helmet with you in case the plane gets shot at on take off/landing. Obviously special types of flights, like that that the Special Forces might use for an immediate action are different. But normal troop movements don't have that luxury!


Sounds sensible to be honest. I'd actually forgotten about paintball guns.... Had considered that too because they are fully automatic and leave bruises the size of pound coins that'll incapaciate and make someone leave pretty sharpish. Can't own em unless you belong to a club though... Actually seem's harder to own a paintball gun than a crossbow which doesn't seem right to me to be honest.


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## Ser (Aug 10, 2008)

mikep81 said:


> Having a paintball gun beside your bed full of marbles, I'm guessing, may throw up some alarm bells against your defence!
> 
> The key to defending yourself or your property is to stay on the right side of the law, or at least appear to. It's no good saying (and this isn't aimed at you), "if someone came at my kids I'd attack them with the chainsaw I have under my bed". *Because what good are you going to be to your kids if you're in jail.* How will you protect your family then? If you feel it necessary to have something by your bedside for protection, then it would make sense to use something that can easily be explained to almost guarantee that you stay out of jail. Ser's example of a glass bottle is a good one. Easily explainable. In court you say you heard someone in your house so grabbed the nearest thing for protection. My wife, while I'm not there has a maglite next to the bed. This can be explained as being useful if there is a power cut in the night. Try explaining to a judge that you just happened to pick up your sock filled with taped up snooker balls, or a 4ft metal bar that just happened to be under your bed and watch his eyebrows raise!
> 
> I'll have a look at that show, it sounds interesting.


LOL, Home ALone is the film from yeeeaaarrrssssss back with Macauly Culkin(sp) In all reality...who the fook sets their house up like that? I got kids....they get up in the middle of the night, i would take one (or both!) of them out before a burglar:lol: Whilst funny, its not practical....

The bolded bit...thats EXACTLY my point....what fekkin use are you to anyone in jail, cause that IS(rightly or wrongly) what happens the majority of the time in these cases, so who is left protecting the ones you love whilst you are tucked up in your cell? The system as is will criminalise YOU for guarding and protecting your own. I USED to keep a scaffholding pole by my bedside and a few other 'naughty' things around...then my point dawned on me, so went down the 'something normal' route. Should i ever need to use it, i was in a position, nothing was premeditated...but someone was in my home, my kids are there asleep and i did the only reasonable thing...protect them. Should i have to do that with an actual weapon...well, thats kinda difficult to explain in the cold light of day!


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Mighty.Panda said:


> Sounds sensible to be honest. I'd actually forgotten about paintball guns.... Had considered that too because they are fully automatic and leave bruises the size of pound coins that'll incapaciate and make someone leave pretty sharpish. Can't own em unless you belong to a club though... Actually seem's harder to own a paintball gun than a crossbow which doesn't seem right to me to be honest.


I could be wrong but I think it's only Real Immitation Firearms that you need to be a member of a club, which is geared more towards blank firers and airsoft guns. Paintball markers, because of the hopper you have on top aren't classed as RIF's. We have Real Action Markers at work and they are classed as RIF's. We have a couple of these M4's and Some Sig Saurs, but because they were bought before the legislation came in about having them brightly coloured we can keep them the way they are. They fire 8mm rubber balls, or paint rounds and imitate real firearms right down to weight and function. The M4's even chuck out empty cases out the side, and they hurt like fvck!


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Ser said:


> LOL, Home ALone is the film from yeeeaaarrrssssss back with Macauly Culkin(sp) In all reality...who the fook sets their house up like that? I got kids....they get up in the middle of the night, i would take one (or both!) of them out before a burglar:lol: Whilst funny, its not practical....
> 
> The bolded bit...thats EXACTLY my point....what fekkin use are you to anyone in jail, cause that IS(rightly or wrongly) what happens the majority of the time in these cases, so who is left protecting the ones you love whilst you are tucked up in your cell? The system as is will criminalise YOU for guarding and protecting your own. I USED to keep a scaffholding pole by my bedside and a few other 'naughty' things around...then my point dawned on me, so went down the 'something normal' route. Should i ever need to use it, i was in a position, nothing was premeditated...but someone was in my home, my kids are there asleep and i did the only reasonable thing...protect them. Should i have to do that with an actual weapon...well, thats kinda difficult to explain in the cold light of day!


I did get that he was referring to the film Home Alone, just forgot to put a smiley after it. lol!


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## Ser (Aug 10, 2008)

hehe, am a secret blonde....sometimes, even though i dye it dark....the blonde shines though...ignore my numbnuttedness


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## Mighty.Panda (Oct 5, 2011)

mikep81 said:


> I could be wrong but I think it's only Real Immitation Firearms that you need to be a member of a club, which is geared more towards blank firers and airsoft guns. Paintball markers, because of the hopper you have on top aren't classed as RIF's. We have Real Action Markers at work and they are classed as RIF's. We have a couple of these M4's and Some Sig Saurs, but because they were bought before the legislation came in about having them brightly coloured we can keep them the way they are. They fire 8mm rubber balls, or paint rounds and imitate real firearms right down to weight and function. The M4's even chuck out empty cases out the side, and they hurt like fvck!
> 
> View attachment 105717


They certainly do it's the reason the police use modified versions of the same kinds of things in riot situations. Taking a paintball on cheek at 5m is going to seriously incapacitate someone they won't be doing sh1t. My mates and I used to get shot in the ass and back by those.. Chavs down the road used to shoot people thinking they were gangsta! Sigh.


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Mighty.Panda said:


> They certainly do it's the reason the police use modified versions of the same kinds of things in riot situations. Taking a paintball on cheek at 5m is going to seriously incapacitate someone they won't be doing sh1t. My mates and I used to get shot in the ass and back by those.. Chavs down the road used to shoot people thinking they were gangsta! Sigh.


Don't the Police use the baton round now (a 40mm rubber round originally used by the Army) I think they've trialled the shotgun rubber rounds which is a shotgun case with 12g rubber balls, but they felt that they were not accurate enough and it'd be too easy for one to hit an eye. The baton round pretty much drops anyone that is hit by it. In fact I've seen and fired a fair few during riots in Iraq and ever saw one guy get back up after taking a baton round, but he was clearly on drugs because it actually took 5 rounds to drop that fvcker. Now that would be a good home defence weapon, the 40mm Baton Gun!!


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## Mighty.Panda (Oct 5, 2011)

Anyway's need to zero the sights on the old light .50 before bed. Fair few tyrannosaurus rex's down my road. Night!


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## Mighty.Panda (Oct 5, 2011)

mikep81 said:


> Don't the Police use the baton round now (a 40mm rubber round originally used by the Army) I think they've trialled the shotgun rubber rounds which is a shotgun case with 12g rubber balls, but they felt that they were not accurate enough and it'd be too easy for one to hit an eye. The baton round pretty much drops anyone that is hit by it. In fact I've seen and fired a fair few during riots in Iraq and ever saw one guy get back up after taking a baton round, but he was clearly on drugs because it actually took 5 rounds to drop that fvcker. Now that would be a good home defence weapon, the 40mm Baton Gun!!


Ahhh thought everyone had fallen asleep lol. Yeah you're right the 40mm rubber/beanbag rounds seem to be the most common. They do have quite a cool toy based on the paintball gun. It basically combines CS and gel balls together it's called a pepperball. Basically lets you shoot CS at people extremely accurately over 200m. You can also mark people with paint and I think it can also fire solid projectiles as well. I think the Israeli boys used them on that liner hostage thing a year or 2 ago. Better be off..


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Mighty.Panda said:


> Ahhh thought everyone had fallen asleep lol. Yeah you're right the 40mm rubber/beanbag rounds seem to be the most common. They do have quite a cool toy based on the paintball gun. It basically combines CS and gel balls together it's called a pepperball. Basically lets you shoot CS at people extremely accurately over 200m. You can also mark people with paint and I think it can also fire solid projectiles as well. I think the Israeli boys used them on that liner hostage thing a year or 2 ago. Better be off..


Nope, I'm here all night at work with nothing to do! Yeah I know the pepper ball gun. Was shot with one in South Africa a few times during training, it stings like hell, but to be honest it isn't as bad as doing the gas chamber in the Army, although I was only shot in the upper chest with 3 rounds. I imagine getting hit in the face would ruin your day quite a bit. Taser is the way forward though. That hurts like a motherfvcker!!!!


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## Ser (Aug 10, 2008)

I know someone with a taser...always asked for a wee go...answer is always no:rolleyes:

I fink he is skeered


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Ser said:


> I know someone with a taser...always asked for a wee go...answer is always no:rolleyes:
> 
> I fink he is skeered


Is it an actual Taser or a stun gun/box? Taser is a specific make and is the gun type on that fires two barbed darts, or in the case of the shotgun model a spiked shotgun round.


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## Ser (Aug 10, 2008)

I don't know tbh, i just stopped listening at the thought of the fun i could cause:devil2:

Whilst i TRY to be nice as much as possible, i have an overwhelming urge to try something like that out on actual people:lol: where i live, there would be no shortage of folk deserving of the ehhh 'shock' 

I just know that i have an actual NEED to do it at least once:innocent: BUT i am fully aware, the sick mofo inside me would never be satisfied at one victim...i could see it as neighbourhood watch duty:whistling: See, still for the greater good:devil2:


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## Mighty.Panda (Oct 5, 2011)

mikep81 said:


> Nope, I'm here all night at work with nothing to do! Yeah I know the pepper ball gun. Was shot with one in South Africa a few times during training, it stings like hell, but to be honest it isn't as bad as doing the gas chamber in the Army, although I was only shot in the upper chest with 3 rounds. I imagine getting hit in the face would ruin your day quite a bit. Taser is the way forward though. That hurts like a motherfvcker!!!!


Tasers really are a brilliant invention. If we were American I would make sure my mother and grandmother both had one for their handbags, they're so effective and are a brilliant way for small vulnerable people to defend themselves without the risk of doing serious damage to an attacker.

I think them being available for civilians is good because a lot of criminals would use them instead of firearms. A lot of muggers or "robbers" don't actually want to hurt anyone, not all thieves are violent but they often carry guns because they're intimidating. Personally I'd rather get tasered and have my wallet stolen than potentially getting shot by a firearm. It's not the case that it's making their job easier because whether they have a gun or a taser you're losing your wallet either way.


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## cwoody123 (Feb 13, 2007)

In all seriousness a loyal dog is the perfect weapon...it's not classed as a deadly weapon and it will act as a deterrent more than anything else...who in their right mind is going to break into a house with a monster dog barking at the the other side of the door!

We have a cross staff greyhound...he is a genetic freak of nature but ever so loving... but i know he would rip some one to peaces if they set foot in the house without us knowing them.


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

Mighty.Panda said:


> Tasers really are a brilliant invention. If we were American I would make sure my mother and grandmother both had one for their handbags, they're so effective and are a brilliant way for small vulnerable people to defend themselves without the risk of doing serious damage to an attacker.
> 
> I think them being available for civilians is good because a lot of criminals would use them instead of firearms. A lot of muggers or "robbers" don't actually want to hurt anyone, not all thieves are violent but they often carry guns because they're intimidating. Personally I'd rather get tasered and have my wallet stolen than potentially getting shot by a firearm. It's not the case that it's making their job easier because whether they have a gun or a taser you're losing your wallet either way.


Actually I'd disagree. The Taser would be too much hassle for a criminal. The one shot cartridges are about $20 per go as apposed to $20 buying you probably about 20 rounds for a pistol. Plus the actual Taser itself would cost more than a pistol. You have battery power to consider, and then there's the fact that when you fire the taser it sprinkles forensic confetti that has the details of that Taser/cartridge on it. Also if you miss with the first shot you then either have to get it close for a drive stun of replace the cartridge, which although that is quite simple to do, it's no where near as quick as just pulling the trigger on a pistol again. Personally having been trained on the Taser and having had it demonstrated on me I'd fight back if I had on pulled on me, or if the situation arose, run because it'll only fire up to about 15ft, unless they can get hold of a law enforcement one which has a longer range, but then that's only about 30ft if my memory serves me. Plus I'm sure all the cartridges sold have to be activated by Taser with the serial number on the confetti then being registered to the purchaser before the cartridge will work. Not sure how that part of the system actually works so am unsure if a criminal could bypass it, either way its an added inconvenience that firearms don't have.


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## TECH (Nov 30, 2011)

I've never felt the need for a weapon. People only really break into your house for burglary. They're desperate and want easy money. Confronting them calmly and confidently from a distance and saying the police are on the way so you suggest they leave, will normally get them out.

It's interesting that we have slated Americans for guns yet we still want to arm ourselves with weapons.


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## Matt 1 (May 8, 2010)

Maybe it's different 'upt north' :laugh:


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

dbaird said:


> seriously... how many people fear for their lives like this?


Let me put it to you this way once you wake up in your dorm room with a shotgun to your forhead telling you to withdraw a allegation of blind violence 2 weeks after you come from hospital ? Then you would want some weapon beside you or under your pillow too...


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

infernal0988 said:


> Let me put it to you this way once you wake up in your dorm room with a shotgun to your forhead telling you to withdraw a allegation of blind violence 2 weeks after you come from hospital ? Then you would want some weapon beside you or under your pillow too...


I'd say a door alarm for your dorm would be more appropriate. You can get door wedges that have a high pitch rape alarm in them. You set them so they're just touching the door, but if. Someone opens it it wedged the door and sets off the alarm. I use them for hotels and are pretty cheap but bloody effective.


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

mikep81 said:


> I'd say a door alarm for your dorm would be more appropriate. You can get door wedges that have a high pitch rape alarm in them. You set them so they're just touching the door, but if. Someone opens it it wedged the door and sets off the alarm. I use them for hotels and are pretty cheap but bloody effective.


was when i was 17 but still i sleep with a rambo knife by my night stand & lock all my doors at night...


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

infernal0988 said:


> was when i was 17 but still i sleep with a rambo knife by my night stand & lock all my doors at night...


Ah ok. Thought it might have been recent. Im guessing you dropped the allegations or what ever it was?


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

mikep81 said:


> Ah ok. Thought it might have been recent. Im guessing you dropped the allegations or what ever it was?


Bet your ars i did mate i was so scared never been that scared in my entire life.


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## TECH (Nov 30, 2011)

Also as mike has pointed out prevention is better than reaction. Burglars want easy money. Make your house a difficult target and they won't even attempt it.


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## mikep81 (Oct 8, 2010)

infernal0988 said:


> Bet your ars i did mate i was so scared never been that scared in my entire life.


Yeah I can imagine. I take it you've not had any repercussions since then?


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## infernal0988 (Jun 16, 2011)

mikep81 said:


> Yeah I can imagine. I take it you've not had any repercussions since then?


nope thank god but still it its in the back of my mind like cement


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